Baby I need you now...  

 [TAOHUN]

Idol life

The life of a man in a country that opposes homosexuality

A life that must be separated from each other in different countries

The further away..the more tiring it is.

“I need you right now. Come back quickly, you stupid bastard."

Far away...

That doesn't mean we have to stop loving each other.

I'm just lonely. Just be patient and wait for the day we meet.

...again

[P.S. We wrote it from pure imagination. We'll talk about slenderness later^^ I'm not very good at writing, I just want to vent and hope the reader will be happy. If there are any typos or mistakes, I apologize in advance.]

With love and Taohun

ilovetao68

@ilovetaohun

How long has it been since we've seen each other? It's been almost a year already. I don't know. I've never counted and I don't want to. It would be useless to count how many days and months we've been apart.

'Please leave a voice message...'

'What do you say? You must be fine. It's winter already. look after yourself... If you're sick, I probably won't be able to take care of you. and probably going crazy in China You don't want to see me go crazy, right? Hahaha. Okay, I have to continue filming. ....I love you, Sehun'

The most recent voice message recorded was on December 6th before being sent to the names that were kept as the most special people in my heart.

'Sehunna...'

In South Korea at 1:45 a.m.

Tiktok

An incoming message sounded as the owner of the device stared at it anxiously. It was like the sound of his happiness. Even if you want to push yourself to accept it, your heart will break. But he could only stare at it longingly.

“Okay, count to two and change positions. One...two...one...two good, good, good, very good, that's it.”

The sound of the shutter clicking echoed throughout the room. The flashing sound that flashes intermittently causing the person standing in front of the camera to change their posture according to the sound of the talented cameraman who is rattling the shutter like crazy.

...It'll be over soon.

I remember it every time I had to endure and force myself to pose in front of a white canvas. It took quite a bit of time to pass, from ten minutes to half an hour, from half an hour to More than an hour...

"thank you very much Thank you very much.”

And today's work finally ended at 3:00 a.m. Even though it has passed another day, this is normal life for an idol like me.

After breaking up the pile, I was so happy that I almost closed it completely. My bag was the first thing I went to and pulled out the communication device that held the precious message.

'Incoming message...from Zitao madman'

Actually, in every Every day I will receive a message from this person. But no matter what I still can't get used to it because every time his name shows up on the screen. My heart would beat strangely irregularly. The tiring work all day seemed to disappear as I listened to his voice being sent...

Tuk Tak Tuk Tak

His voice made me want to cry. The more time the pipe It will be a great tool for bringing tears to my eyes. And this time too...

throughout the distance in the car I just sat and thought about his voice. And that innocent face

“Are you going to sleep until now? I miss you so much,” Sehun cursed alone.

Tiktok

'Incoming call' The person stumbled and woke up from his absent-minded state. A smile appeared as the screen displayed the names of the roots of nostalgia. And he didn't hesitate to answer the phone.

'I miss you...' the first word that was sent.

The voice disappeared as a coughing sound entered. before the voice is transmitted to the phone again 'I can't sleep. What should I do? I don't like this at all.'

"Little child doesn't know how to grow up, oh my."

'what! Don't act like I'm the only one. Are you the same person? Huh, tell me, give me a good answer.' Zitao is Zitao. He is still stubborn and acts like a child all day long. Whether it's cute or not. But I want to tease him more.

“What if the answer is no?”

"..." Silence, accompanied by the sound of coughing interspersed from time to time.

"this!! Tell other people to take care of yourself, right? Why are you still coughing, huh?”

“It's not too much of a problem. The air here is a bit dry, so…”

"Don't worry." Don't worry, you idiot.

"Then I'll get better quickly." Even though I couldn't see his face. Both of them knew that the other end of the phone was smiling widely.

And we were quiet for a moment before my shuttle stopped at the dorm. which at that time I secretly heard a woman's voice coming out.

'Let's go to bed, darling.' Wait...that's a woman's voice.

“Zitao, are you alone?” I didn't dare ask him directly. for fear of being found untrustworthy

“Alone, lonely in bed alone. I really want someone to cuddle with.”

“Zitao!” It was just teasing. But does Zitao know that this person's heart has already fallen to Ta Tuum?

Because we're far apart Because we haven't seen each other. So I don't know what he is doing, where or how. Will he have someone else? Will the girls over there make him change his mind? Zitao is a man. Those kinds of desires have to belong together, right?

“Sehun...”

Crazy thoughts were running through my mind, causing me to feel annoyed at myself. Because we ourselves are men Is Zitao a good-looking person who will not become a target?

What should I do? What should I do? I hate my own thoughts. My boyfriend is happy, isn't that good? We have to be open-minded. What should we do?

“Sehun!! Are you listening to me? What's wrong with you, Sehunna..." Zitao called Sehun back to his senses. Because he was holding the phone and was quiet like that. which he himself could often guess.

He muted the television and the sweet female voice that had been emanating just moments before disappeared. “It's the sound of the television. Please don't think too much.”

"Oh, I'm sorry..." Sigh...relieved. You see, it's nothing, I was just thinking too much. But even so The thought of it almost made me unable to walk into my room.

“Sehun...do you trust me?” After I expressed my concern, He asked me in a serious tone.

If you answered that you believed, you would probably be lying. But if you don't answer He himself would be uncomfortable. “Trust me, I believe you, but you yourself must find happiness. Already there, right?”

“Do you trust me or not?”

“I said what do you believe?” Is my voice shaking to the point of being ugly?

'I've never looked at anyone but you. I still miss you always. I miss you very, very much. The best of the best. If possible, I want to go to sleep and cuddle every night. I want to kiss you and I want to touch you a lot, do you understand?'

What he said It makes me feel guilty. ...for refusing to trust him Is a crazy person like Zitao going to be unfaithful? I'm Sehun, the idol who's known for having a lot of fanboys. And the face can kill an entire girl group.

“Thank you...and then. When will we meet again? I myself am thinking about going crazy.”

He said he wanted me. But will he know that I am no different or maybe even better? He just moved to China last year for that reason. 'Follow your own dreams' and end with us being separated like today.

Who knows what the cost of being in a same-sex relationship in a country that is anti-gay and being an idol would cost? Having to hide over and over and pretend to be a criminal at night, it's very uncomfortable.

I once thought of running away from problems. and the exhaustion of an idol's life followed him over there. But I can't do it. It's not fair to the people who are supporting me right now, both the company and the people at home, because besides me being damaged, He himself...would definitely be mobbed by antis. Why? Why did something like this have to happen to me? Being away from the person you love is painful.

The two of them were still holding the line and waiting like that. Even though Sehun was taking a shower, 'Hey, can't you just turn it into a video call?'

Zitao is a pervert. Everyone should know this.

“Dammit, if you really want to watch, just fly over. I'll show you all night.” I swear I contracted lust from him.

Just then I heard a grunt coming from the other end of the line. This probably isn't doing something like this, right? You pervert!!

The water in the tub dropped as soon as Sehun moved himself out of the tub. He was both embarrassed and ashamed of his words just now. Plus, if you think that Zitao is using him...(I won't say that)

'It's almost 4 a.m. but I still don't want to sleep. I don't want to hang up. Damn it.' He began to cry like a spoiled child. I know he's sleepy. Because when children start to show their stupidity, it means it's time to go to bed.

“Then hold the phone until you fall asleep,” I offered as a solution, which actually happened like this every night.

'Sehun…'

As I was about to fall asleep under my cloth The voice calling my name coming from the phone was starting to get tired. It's similar to the symptoms of someone who is in the final stages of sleepiness.

"Ugh? Why did you call me?”

'If one day I disappear and you disappear...like we don't talk like right now. Do you think there will be that day?'

The day we suddenly disappeared from each other?

“If I were around, I would punch you in the mouth, you idiot. Go to bed, get sleepy and talk nonsense!!” I became angry for no reason. “Did you know that they don't let you talk about things like this? Now slap your mouth, Zi Tao.”

'Ah...he's sorry, it's just that he's afraid. I'm afraid that you'll get tired of my hoarse voice, get tired of listening to stupid people talk nonsense. I'm afraid you won't answer the phone.... ’ Zitao's voice gradually became fainter. And finally there was silence. “...I love you very much. I love you the most...." Finally fell asleep.

"You idiot, you're going to sleep and you're still talking about crazy things." I thought the same thing. “I love you too. Sweet dreams.”

The call was disconnected after realizing he was asleep. Sigh...how long will it be before this loneliness goes away?

In China 9:30 a.m.

I fell asleep with my phone on for the hundredth time. It has become a habit to hear his voice before going to sleep. This morning I had quite a bit of energy. Because the last line before it was cut off I heard him tell me he loved me.

It's hard to hear that from a stubborn person. Stubborn like that guy.

Another two hours will be time for work. My career as a producer is about to begin. I chose to settle down and pursue my dream of music that I love in this country. ...my home country

The weather here right now is considered very cold. I almost carry a big blanket everywhere I go.

'Wake up, sleepy person'

The first message is sent to the owner of the original number on the first number of the device. I hope he sees it and smiles when he wakes up to see it.

Just a little.

Here it is. Looks like the flu has caught up with me a little too quickly. The air was dry which made me feel a burning throat, a burning nose, a little mucus and a slight cough. But I believe that if I leave it like this, he will definitely be angry at me for not taking care of himself.

“If possible, I'd like you to come take care of me. Is it okay to pretend to be sick?…” But if he knew, he would definitely be angrier than before. “It's better not.”

I began to organize my thoughts and prepare to continue working quietly. Alone in the company

Hudchi!!

Now I'm starting to feel dizzy. I guess I'll have to take a break from work and stay in a warm room.

Tiktok

'His message from the troublemaker'

'Watch the news...there's a storm coming in over there. Don't catch a cold.'

“Yes.” My cruel leg sent a warning message? I'll think of it as concern that doesn't know how to use sweet words, right?

It's just a short sentence. and looked extremely emotionless. But...it makes my heart feel so wet. The whole time I was here it made me feel like something was missing. It's him that I'm missing.

And he said he was dancing on the television...

Even though I try not to think about it Try to keep yourself busy with work. But it couldn't be done. I know his schedule is enough. with his manager And now is the time for live music broadcasts. I left it open like that. Let those eyes see through. which I myself can only watch through this television

“Look at you, are you feeling sluggish? Pants are tight ass. Dad is close enough to hit you.” Just looking at this makes me want to dive into the glass screen.

Don't be shocked just yet. I'm like this every time I'm alone in the room. And if there were other people there, would I have shown this lust?

Having said that, I feel like I want to tease you. I stopped the photo when the camera focused on Sehun's face. “This move should work.” The move was my two fingers. Poked at his nostril. It's as if I'm poking into it, and what can't be missing is my crazy face and divine flair.

Chat! Chat!

I chose the picture that I thought would be good no matter what. If he sees this, he will definitely pick up the phone and call me.

“Uh...Zitao. Are you free tonight?” The older brother at work Appearing from behind with an awkward expression Playing with my hair while taking photos in a strange pose, it almost made me cringe, but it was good that I caught it in time.

“I don't feel well. that he would go home to rest Do you have anything?” I had to quickly block him because if I said, “Are you free tonight?”, your next sentence would be….

“Tonight, I have an appointment with a big agency at the shop next door.” The building next door is also a good liquor store.

"yes?"

“He just wants to meet you, and you should know that it's good to make friends with a big agent. I think it will be very good for you to go.”

“It's me…”

“Nah, fifteen minutes is enough.”

“Fifteen minutes and then I want to walk out.”

“Thank you very much, and I'll meet you in the lobby at 8:00 p.m.” He finished his appointment with me and turned to pick up the phone and continue talking. It seemed like the agency said, “Yes, Zitao has already agreed.”

Damn it..brother Should have told him that I wasn't feeling well. Sigh...should I just sneeze on it now?

I didn't say who the person I met was, but it certainly seemed like an important person and this job. I feel like it must be an elephant event.

But why the strange intuition?

In South Korea, 8:00 p.m.

rain!!

“It's already cold. Why is it raining and adding to the cold? I didn't even bring sweaters and raincoats. It's going to be crazy cold."

I have been stuck in the rain at the company building for hours. which is very boring And it's very cold.

“Sehun!! It's raining heavily. Why don't you go wait inside and hurry back?” Suho saw Sehun frantic and wanted to get out. But it was raining outside, so I suggested that the little one go inside, it would be more convenient.

"I forgot my phone at the dorm."

"I also have mine. Ah...I lent it to you."

“No, no, it's just me…” How should I tell you? After sending Zitao a warning message last afternoon, he forgot it in his room. There's nothing to do here. The only thing I can think of is Zitao. I want to talk and tell you about today so bad.

“Now, do you seem too addicted to your phone? Be careful if adults see you or you will be stared at. Do you secretly have a girl?”

“Where are the girls? There's only one person! Oops..." Actually, I shouldn't have said that. But then it slipped out, “Uh …”

“Still in touch? It's so true..." Suho looked out from the beginning. It's just that he really didn't want to interfere in the company's little brother's personal matters. “The next day, let him call and talk to you and Baekhyun. The doctor himself often complains of missing him.”

That's right. Baekhyun hyung seems to be close to Zitao. He suddenly disappeared but was only talking to me. His hyungs might not be looking at him well.

“Then I'll tell you. But he's been busy lately. I hardly talk much myself.” Other than when sleeping... Which we don't really know much about talking about.

“Speaking of which, I miss you, right? How are you? I heard that he turned into a producer for a company over there. And the song that was written for Where are you now?”

“Hahaha, I'm just kidding, I think it's good.”

“Don't be too loud. How normal are the sasaengs here? In case there's an audio clip leaked tomorrow, I'll be busy."

“Oh...that's it. So let's go inside and talk. After a while the rain will let up and then you can come back with me.”

I think it's a good offer. When will you come back with Suho? Always have snacks on hand. So we sat and hugged each other close. with the heater in the lounge on the ground floor of the building

I looked outside and couldn't help but think of that time. During that time next to me? I wanted whatever I wanted. If you don't have a sweater, take it off and put it on. Wanting to eat hot soup, they spread their umbrellas out to eat. Sigh..."Is there anyone there who begs like this?"

Having said that, I couldn't help but think of Zitao's rambling sentence from last night. In fact, I thought so myself. The reason I scolded him was because I didn't want this kind of thing to be brought up again and again. Or reinforce it until we finally disappear like we said.

It's frightening. Just thinking about it makes a pain rise in my chest.

“Looking at me like this, what does that mean?”

“I just think we are strong. Normally, long-distance love doesn't work very well. I'm not cursing here...but from experience. And combined with a situation like ours, it seems a bit difficult.”

"So are you still in contact?"

“No, once it's far away it... will keep disappearing Especially if we both have work to do. It will disappear even more without realizing it. It's not like I quit, but it's like I quit. It suddenly disappeared. I'm still surprised why. We've gotten to the point where we don't even have to hear him. You don't have to meet. It got used to it and then it went numb.

I saw you guys and couldn't help but think, We weighed it really hard.”

Coming to this point is quite unbelievable. I just found out that he has a lover with someone else as well. Where are you going to secretly talk? Secretly a lot better than me.

which I tried not to pay attention to Because the more you listen to it, the more it reinforces what is about to happen or not. Distance creates distance. It's very easy to have other people intervene. The question that often arises for me is: ...Does he really only want me?

But what I do know is that I never thought about anyone else besides him...

“Thank you for telling me this. But I was very surprised. When did you secretly date a girl?”

"If you know, it won't be fun."

I know....everyone has secrets.

Sigh

"this!! I'm seriously depressed. I didn't think we would think this much. Believe me, with Zitao anything can happen, right? Let's go, the rain has subsided."

Trust me, with him anything can really happen....

Before I could remember, I threw it away. It's almost 10 p.m. I really want to call him. I want to tell the story of how well the magazine I published on the cover sold well. and also took a photo with the senior he used to like. I can't help but think about how good he would feel right now if he were still here. And when I get to the room, the first thing I rush into is...the phone.

I was secretly disappointed that there was not a single call from him. There was no contact from any channels, the movement was calm. I think...maybe he's busy with work.

Dang....

“Accept it.” It's been like this for over ten minutes. I'm not angry at him because we often encounter situations like this. The clock of the person waiting is always slower than the person who wants to answer the phone. Let's just say I'll try to get used to it. Everything is in order. After several minutes had passed, he still didn't answer. So I had to leave my voice with a young lady with a beautiful voice who is the network's call operator.

...Please leave your voice message when...

Tid, and of course I never listened to her finish her long rant.

“Today you haven't contacted me at all. Are you busy with work? Please take a break.” The first thing I will worry about is my health. “I have many things to tell you, but you can save them for another day. And also... please contact the hyungs. Suho hyung asked about you too. Talk to you later. Sweet dreams." Sehun let out his voice without telling him that he was feeling hurt.

I want to fuss more, but I don't dare because I'm not a woman...

In the end, that night I just stared at my phone, waiting to see if there would be a reply or not...in the end, I waited until I fell asleep.

                03.00 A.M 

I woke up again around 3 a.m. when I received a voice message from the person on the other end of the line. Even though he hadn't woken up yet. But when he found out it was him, he chose to listen.

'This is Sehun...I'm sorry I didn't answer your phone. I'm sorry I didn't say goodnight tonight. In the future, I probably won't call or send messages often. If I disappear, please don't cry. ...Sorry to disappoint you. Keep fighting at work. Bye'

A hoarse voice with an accent that makes you know who it is just by sighing.

“Tao...what the hell are you talking about?”

This must be a dream...so I won't open my eyes.

“I told you not to say that sentence. I feel bad after listening to this.”

This is not that idiot's style at all.

"grey..."

The voice that had been calling him was suddenly swallowed up by a sudden noise. There was a touch on the cheek.

He kissed my cheek?

His touch was so clear that he had to open his eyes to see it. But what I found was...empty. There's no one in the room except me. “Tao, are you here?”

I'm crazy, even though I know in my heart I still ask.

My heart is trembling. I was afraid of the sentence I heard just now. Even if it's just a dream But both the sound and touch were too clear. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.

Am I dreaming this?...but the message that was sent It's true

the next day

“Sehun, come with me.” As soon as I got to the office, my manager immediately dragged me into a blind corner.

The facial expression doesn't look very good.

“Now you are being scrutinized by the company for your phone use.”

I'm relieved... I thought he would say something about Zitao.

"Sorry, next time I'll be more careful."

“But this time it will affect everyone. I myself am afraid that you guys will be in trouble. So, can I please keep my phone and all my communication equipment?”

It's difficult.

but...

"Alright, how long?"

“Let's let the promotional season end first. We need to be more concise. Otherwise, they would all be hit.”

I understand...and I won't interrupt. But you have to understand that these things are difficult to stop. This is not a prison!!

“Yes.”

“Very good. Now, let's get on with our work. I'll keep an eye on it for you.”

That 'it' is my phone. I handed it to him before walking into the practice room.

And today passed without me touching it.

Believe me, I won't die just because I didn't call him. While working, I tried not to think about it and didn't think about it until the promotion ended.

“Brother, has anyone contacted you?”

“There's...a lot. Both girls outside the industry All the girls I met on the show greeted you very much. Until the battery almost runs out Seriously...how can you talk?"

Who said I'm talking? They greeted me as usual.

"already..."

“Ah, go see for yourself, I'm out of danger for now. I probably don't have to keep it, but..."

“What?”

“Uh...no, let's go back. Let's talk about it when we get to the dormitory."

And just cut off like he had something to say but didn't say it.

I work for a small agency that has built a reputation for many famous idols because the company has clear rules. Even though I'm a solo idol But if anything happens, it will affect other people, so I have to strictly respect the rules in order to be in this line of work smoothly.

And Zitao's voice sounded tired. Sometimes we had to give him some free time to rest.

Then...

The two of us gradually became more distant.

'Sehun...sorry I didn't answer your phone'

“I have a photo shoot in China.”

'Ah...that's good. What day is it?' His voice sounded cheerful. And we secretly smiled as well.

"next month"

'Next month? Sorry, next month is really busy.' And the voice returned to being hoarse as usual. 'What if next month?'

“Next time, I'm...busy. There are tours in Europe.”

“Uh...don't think too much, there will be a moment. I'll try to find the time..."

'It's okay. I know you're still with me. As long as you're happy with your work, that's enough. I have to go. Bye.'

"bye"

The call has been cut off.

I feel so uncomfortable that I can't tell. It's not enough. Talking just isn't enough at all. Usha has actually listened to his voice. I'm sorry.

Before cutting the call, I overheard Ed secretly calling his girlfriend. It looks like you're having a hard time...we have to try too.

We know that sometimes our feelings or our efforts cannot move us forward.

Lights decorated along the walkways and large trees It reminds me of the upcoming year-end festival...that's right. This is the last month of the year already. Just a little more and the road below will become a place of sight-seeing encounters. There will definitely be a lot of couples coming to the countdown to make me feel hurt.

'This Christmas...I probably won't be there.'

“Can't help it. Me too.”

If you notice, you will find that we can barely count the words. When one sentence is finished there will be silence.

‘Hahaha, do you really have to say this?’ Zitao started to laugh loudly before speaking in a calm voice again. 'Happy New Year in advance'

“It's another two weeks. Don't tell me that..."

'excuse me'

"No need to apologize, I understand."

And we were both silent... before hanging up on the phone without even saying goodbye.

Why did Suho say that if we're far away, how can I be indifferent? Why do I still feel like I want more and more?

The new year passed without him...only We're not just close to each other.

Since then we lost contact.

No one struggles and will die because of missing them...it just takes a lot of patience. Only up to the most

At the mainland...

Sehun looks better every time his photos are posted on the internet. I, who follow the news sometimes If you don't follow some, you can just wait for his success. It seems like since I've had less contact with him. He could jump higher as someone had told me that night.

2 years ago

'Zitao, I know about you and Sehun...'

'I thought that no matter what, it wouldn't be hidden'

'It is a pleasure. But I came here to find you. Can you guess what the matter is?'

'Is he really that bad because of me?'

'No, no, he's shining right now. He's an idol with the highest number of people watching and it looks like he's going to go further. I won't order it, but I think asking for it might be a bit cruel. But can you please wait? Waiting for him to be in a place where rumors and scandals can't do anything to him.

Our company is just a small company. But it has produced famous people. You should know better. Because you yourself have been here for a while.'

'Yes,' I was able to guess, 'I mean...'

'Can I wait another two years?'

'Two years...'

'Consider it a trial. You know that long distance love must be far away. Use this opportunity to prove that Will the two of you belong together?'

'Really cruel'

'Or are you afraid?'

Yes...I'm secretly afraid.

But at that time it coincided with the elephant fair. So I am undeniably busy. Then I saw that what the man said was true. Sehun looks more aura. She became so beautiful that she felt envious of those who got close to her.

Even the cameraman...

Today I had the opportunity to walk past a billboard with him in it. The look in his eyes smiles and gestures He can't help but be jealous. Even people who pass by are jealous. People who shout praise or take photos even though they are doing nothing wrong.

I'm a psychopath myself.

Dang..

He called.

"how"

'What are you doing'

“Looking at your picture...you look very beautiful.”

'She's as beautiful as a ghost, so handsome. Who is happy that a man praises himself as beautiful?' I knew he was secretly shy.

“I'm secretly jealous too. Who taught you to make those kind of facial expressions and eyes?”

In fact, I secretly hinted that... I have a new lover that's why I look so radiant like this. But I didn't dare ask directly.

'Really...hehe? It worked, too.' Sehun suddenly had a happy tone in his voice.

"what"

'No...just think about your face when taking the photo. Imagine you're standing. I didn't think you would feel it either.'

"How will you suffer..."

'And how is it now? It's been more than two years now. November Coming back at the end of the year again'

“It's fun, working outside a lot. But it's considered a trip. Met a lot of people Continuously exchanging experiences and making many more friends.”

We avoid talking about being tired and busy.

'That's because you're so cute, Zi Tao, everyone wants to get close to you', even himself.

“You too. Do you know what kind of eyes people around the world look at you with?”

'Looks like you're jealous of me. I miss you so much.'

Very much...let's not be so teasing, okay?

“There are a lot of people who look at you with the same eyes as me.”

Did I talk too much today? It might make Sehun angry.

' Zitao...until now I still think you're the best. I don't want to be separated from you at all. Even if I want you to call me once a week, it's still good. This time, I'm secretly wondering whether or not I'll disturb you. Will you answer the phone? I'm very happy. Anyway, I don't plan on letting us end up being distant like this.'

The more I listened to his sentences, the more I felt that we should try harder.

"...the same I don't plan on letting go of your hand. The more I listen to you say this, the more I think it should be time.”

'Hmm?'

"Hahaha, nothing. Just wanted to say thank you. I love you so much."

I haven't said this word for a long time.

Each side reminded them so that no one would be worried.

Even though more than two years have passed But it still hasn't changed.

Keeping yourself busy is a good thing because it means you're fully engaged in your work. We choose to follow our chosen path to the best of our ability. Leave some distance. Enough for the other party to review and follow their own dreams.

But it was lonely, very lonely. So lonely that I feel If he were close, he would probably hug and not let go.

If you're looking for someone new...it's probably impossible. There's no one like Sehun.

....Can't really be anyone else.

               2016 Winter 

Yes, yes.

“Sehun”

"yes..."

Someone knocked on the door and when I opened it, I found that it was Baekhyun. And what was more surprising was that he was crying. The expressions on their faces were so serious that it was frightening.

"What's wrong with you?"

Hurry!

Without saying anything, he suddenly rushed over and hugged me.

“Tao...entered the ICU right now, still unconscious. Fifty-fifty symptoms.”

What...what ICU?

"What is this? What's wrong with Tao?"

“Tao was hit by a car last night.”

untrue

"You're not playing tricks on me, are you?"

“Who is joking about things like this?”

Judging from Baekhyun's crying, it made his whole body tremble. It's all gone in my head. It is the condition of being unable to hear or see anything even though the eyes are open.

“Can I go to China now?”

"I want to go...but you know that."

We can't go anywhere...because we're busy filming in Japan. If we go now, we'll definitely be in trouble. But I can't stay still.

Tee...

Baekhyun hyung got a call. And when you pressed accept with a few sentences, it almost shocked me.

…Zitao has died.

Wow!!!

Dream...it's just a dream

Sehun shook his head to himself before wiping away the tears that kept flowing out. He thought to himself how lucky he was that it was just a dream. But I don't want this kind of dream again.

               4.45  A.M 

He looked at the time on the side of the bed before lying down again. Because in my dream just now it should have been late yesterday. And this is already day 9.

Sigh...

I miss you again. I want to see you. Just for a little bit would be good.

Knock, knock, knock.

“Haha...please don't be Baekhyun hyung.” To be honest, I didn't want to get up and open the door. Suddenly there was a knocking sound and a voice called out. Early in the morning like this is not normal.

A gag

“Is there something...?”

“Sehun” with a face that I will miss the most “Finally got to meet you. Are you surprised to see me show up like this?”

“Why is your face covered in tears and why are you crying? Who did what to you?”

“Do you want to sleep more? It's only 4:00 a.m. Am I bothering you?”

“Zitao”

"No, don't cry."

“Zitao... completely lost my mind. I had a bad dream just now. Dreamed that you were hit by a car. I...I hruk huh."

"Damn it, I'm already crying."

He couldn't help but pull me into a hug.

“I almost lost my mind because of you.”

"excuse me"

“Zitao”

“Hmm...”

“I love you, I really love you.”

Both excited and extremely happy to see him standing here, hugging him, kissing him until his heart skipped a beat.

“Thank you for coming.”

“I have intended to come and see you many times. but stood far away I don't want to predict distractions."

"If it happened before, I'd want to yell at you. But now...that's all I'm happy about."

"Kiss me."

"Um"

In fact, you don't have to wait to ask. I think I'm going to do it anyway.

Ever since he appeared and stood smiling in front of the door. We're hardly apart at all.

I have hugged many times. But it couldn't fight this time. We haven't seen each other for a long time. The hug became tighter, warmer, and more precious.

Zitao told me that he was able to break into the residence because he received help from the manager.

'But it's all because you were successful. In the past... The important thing is that you have never cheated on me. Even though there are many people who are both handsome and rich and wanting to take you away from me. This time I really couldn't take it anymore. If I hadn't come to see you this time. I'm going crazy,' he said, his face resting on my chest.

With Zitao, anything can really happen. ...Who knew that he suddenly appeared just because he wanted to come see me?

Being happy is easy...but maintaining it for a long time seems difficult for us.

Even though I know I still have him...but I'm still lonely.

We met...and it meant we had to separate.

How much do you hate this time?

"...Take care of yourself and don't be rude to other people," Zitao said as he stole a kiss on the shoulder.

"this!! Who are you?!"

"What are you...haha'

"I-Tik!'

Oh, he's playing on my weak point. I almost choked up, and when I was quiet, a triumphant smile immediately appeared on the bastard's face.

And of course I'm annoyed. I'm pretty and I'm not bald. Let me know. So I kept quiet.

"Is that your forehead or the parking lot? Let's test it."

kiss

'Huh?' How can I not be surprised? Sehun came and sat crouched on top of me. and kissed on the forehead or the parking lot as he said

Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss

Sehun didn't end with just one kiss, he kissed all of Zitao's empty space, kissing continuously until he stopped in the middle.

" Hey, there's still a lot of space left. Enjoy. Who wouldn't like a kiss from him?

Sehun likes to act cute. It's awesome when I'm upset. Or when I'm uncomfortable like this, how do I fall in love with my head? But at this time it was strange because Sehun usually never came at me this hard.

"Sehun..." he didn't answer "Sehun"

This time I started to feel uncomfortable.

"Missing...". He suddenly spoke.

"I miss you so much... I don't want you to go back so we can't separate, okay?"

The sobs became louder and louder as he buried his face in the crook of Zitao's neck.

"Sehun...'" I could hear the distress in his voice.

Zitao's arms hugged the figure sitting on his lap.

'Do you...do you miss me a lot?' I whispered softly.

"the most... "

"So you love me very much?"

“Dammit, what a stupid question. Do I still have to say it..."

Actually, Sehun couldn't tell how much. How much? As a building? As big as the ground? As much as the sea? As far as the sky? He thought it was still too little.

"But I'm hundreds of times more than you."

For a second, it was like the atmosphere stopped. The voices disappeared. It turned out to be Zitao's voice alone.

"...Let's break up."

Sehun immediately felt a numbness in his lower abdomen.

"Wha...what?"

"Are you going to break up?"

"Just kidding, daddy's going to smack you in the mouth right now." With that, he opened his hand and extended his arms in a position that was ready to add. The eyes were coated with clear water. that overflows to the edge of the eye

“I love you very much, do you know that? ...but I don't want to see you suffer. It's heartbreaking for people who love each other to cause you more sorrow than happiness."

Wow!

"Stop talking"

“I see you looking lost every time on stage, I see pictures of you sitting with your face down every day. I want to go in and hug you. But it can't be done."

Wow!

"stop! enough! I don't want to listen."

"Suho hyung said that you are addicted to your phone... You know that it will affect your work, right?"

Sehun lost his patience listening to Zitao's stupid sentences, but instead he got up and walked away. Instead, he chose to plant a kiss on his wavy lips.

Even though Zitao tried to push himself away, he locked himself onto Zitao perfectly.

Okay... I accept it.

Lost to his stubbornness The soft tongue that was trying to penetrate is now winning over everything.

Their bodies tightened together with barely a centimeter apart.

Sehun pressed himself onto his thick chest, wanting to insert himself.

He is hot-tempered, berserk, irritable, irritable, jerkish, stubborn, and very self-centred. ...All of this he was throwing at me like a careless person, even though he was actually very shy. I'm not very good at speaking. And I like to beg.

"Who cares?" He finally pulled away. "I told you I love you. Why should I care how hard I tried to meet you today? And look at what you're saying, Zitao! How crazy are you?!"

Sehun burst into tears again, this time he had probably exceeded what he had been holding back.

"Dammit, how can you say you're breaking up?"

Seeing him fully, I realized that I had made a huge mistake in saying those words. Sehun once told me that he couldn't live without me.

...Now I know deeply.

"I just don't want you to suffer."

“No, I don't want your sympathy. Zitao, I can take care of myself. Do you want to look down on me?"

“Then what do you want me to do?” Zitao asked, looking exhausted as he

Sehun at this time looked completely exhausted. Both of them were tired of enduring loneliness while they couldn't see any way to meet.

Idol life

A life that must be separated from each other in different countries

The further away..the more tiring it is.

"Can't we just disappear? Don't be quiet, don't be lazy to listen to people who just complain. Don't moan when I beg you, okay? Don't go with anyone else. And don't fall out of love with each other.'

"Are you asking for too much?"

"Then can I ask for it? Can you give it to me? Answer.” Sehun didn't like seeing Zitao hesitate.

"Who do you think I am? This matter is very trivial. Can you give it to me? "

"what?"

"Don't let anyone make eye contact. Don't stop calling until I answer. Don't stop complaining, because I love hearing your voice. And don't let anyone touch you too much. Oh dear."

"Hm." A smile slowly appeared little by little.

“And this…” Zitao used his index finger to dip into the middle of the chest of the person in his lap, “…this body is for me to possess alone.”

Sehun raised his eyebrows and a teasing smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"Do you think I'll give it to you?"

"If you don't give it, I'll take it."

The nape of his neck was immediately cut down by Zitao's fangs, followed by a nudge on his jawline. He knew that this was Sehun's weak point, which drew a moan from his full mouth as well.

"Ah, it tickles."

"Do you have work these days?"

"Four days off"

“Then prepare yourself. Definitely won't sleep tonight."

"What? Are you going crazy? Who said you were going to America tonight?"

"So I changed my mind. I want to stay with you...can't I?"

"There's no need to beg, good father. We'll see each other again next month, the next month, and so on. We'll have to meet each other anyway."

"Fine, but no marks."

"yes"

Zitao immediately went in to taste his fullness when Sehun gave him the green light.

And it was always like this every time the two met.

...not from Or where are they far from here?

"Let's work hard. See you later."

[It's finished, darling.]

ilovetao68 :  9

Nov 16

Finally, 100%, thank you for reading.

I haven't caught a sweet fic in a long time. It might be boring (or not).

This story was made up from imagination. It's been stuck since last year (

TT) (

excuse me)

I want it to be a part that will make readers smile.

The keyword for this is "distance". We named the file far.

But the title

baby I need you now.... 555555555

That's because it comes from nostalgia. I miss you so much that I want you to come and see me now.

....but couldn't come Because everyone has different dreams and responsibilities.

About this.....

Thank you for reading until the end. (Really thank you)

I hope you have fun reading.

With love and Taohun

ilovetao68

@ilovetaohun