Have you ever been unable to sleep?

Have you ever asked yourself why you can't sleep?

Some people ask and may not get an answer.

But some people may already know the answer but just don't accept it.

Or some people may use the word insomnia to refer to the word not wanting to sleep.

Because I want to review some stories in the quiet darkness.

Hello, all readers.

This story is the first Bell-Fon fic that I wrote, which was caused by my own fleeting emotions during the night when I couldn't sleep. So I asked myself what if Fon and Belle couldn't sleep at all. And of course, this story is dramatic. Hahaha. Anyway, I'd like to share this insomnia fic with everyone. It's not fun.

You can tell us what you like or don't like in the comments or you can comment on Twitter.

fic

I can't sleep. It's always there. Thank you for coming to read.

MooPim

*This story is only imagination. Every event is a fiction.

There is no intention to offend or harm the actors in any way*

Fon’s Part

Why am I not asleep yet? Have you ever asked yourself this question on days when you had to wake up early to go to work and be tired all day, and by the time you got home it was late. Has the energy you once had shrunk completely, leaving only fatigue? Some people may be confused as to why I would ask myself this.

Why don't you close your eyes and fall into a blissful sleep when you're that tired?

I'd like to know too. I want to know why I don't want to close my eyes, or rather, I don't want to close them. The reason is simple: I just don't want to sleep. At this point, the question arises again: why don't I want to sleep? Actually, I know why. I just think too much... I thought a lot about my slowly changing feelings until I started to realize it. At first I didn't think it would get to this point, but in the end I couldn't stop myself from feeling it and it went downhill.

My name is Fon. I am an actor. I have had the opportunity to play in a famous teen series since last season. 1 Until now, season 3, which is the last season, as everyone knows, I play the role of Dao. It wouldn't have much to do with the character "Dao" not having to play alongside me. drama "Koi" in the first season Dao and Koi were just normal close friends, but in the second season the character Dao was paired with the character Koi.

The beginning of this feeling probably started from there.

“Nong Belle” is her name. The character's real-life name "Koi" Are you surprised that I'm talking about Little Bell?

Why did the Koi character go? Because that's the name of the person who made me shake. That's right, I was shaken by Little Belle. I know everyone would be shocked if I said this. And I know that it's impossible to know what's between us, but I can't stop my trembling.

I'm crazy thinking about such sad things. It's almost morning and I should go to sleep. Take that crazy feeling and throw it far away...far beyond your reach again and hope. When I wake up, these crazy feelings will be gone forever because of me. “I don't want to remember” it anymore.

Belle’s Part

What's going on with P'Fon these days? He looks tired, he looks worried, he seems uncomfortable sometimes being near me. No matter how hard he tries to keep his expression from me, I still notice it. We're very close. Why don't I know that you're strange? I kept thinking about it, worrying about whether I had done something to make P'Fon uncomfortable, but I couldn't think of anything.

There isn't anything or any cause that makes P'Fon think too much or P'Fon feel bad about our Koi Dao service, but every time P'Fon is the one who starts first or P'Fon has other problems.

I want to tell P'Fon that if there's something uncomfortable, this little one is willing to listen to everything. Even if I can't help, at least I can vent for you. It's still good. Maybe I need to find a good time to talk with you. It's raining straight away.

Fon’s Part

Today I entered the company with visibly swollen and bloodshot eyes. Even though I tried to put on darker and thicker makeup to cover up the traces, it hardly helped. Of course, I cried myself to sleep last night. But when someone greeted me, I replied indifferently that I had little rest. No one would want others to know that my eyes were swollen like this because I cried over something that was impossible, and of course everyone believed it. My excuse was because I was aware of the past grueling schedule.

And even Little Bell herself...believe me. It's a good thing that you believe, but why do I feel disappointed deep inside? It's probably because you and I are so close that I know all the details about you, so I expect you to... You have to get to know me like I know you. But sometimes I forget that when people's "feelings" are "unequal," our "attention" for each other is “Never the same”

Belle’s Part

Today I have to ask P'Fon what's the problem. Even though he says he's taking a little rest, I know that he's been crying a lot. We're so close, why can't I see? Even if it's a small matter, I always pay attention, but you probably don't know that I know. Maybe it's because I rarely show you that I know.

That's because I trust that you will always be able to handle every problem quickly and well. But this time it's not. You look weak like never before. You look exhausted and don't have the energy to continue fighting. But I still smiled at everyone, a smile that concealed exhaustion, a smile mixed with tear stains that were wiped clean and not allowed to be known by anyone.

It's the most beautiful smile and the ugliest smile at the same time. It's the smile that makes me want to hug you tightly to tell you that it's okay no matter what kind of problems you're going through, no matter how serious. How bad will it make you feel?

But older sister still has this younger sister who is an encouragement to me and will be beside me when I'm not going anywhere.

"Brother Fon, are you free tomorrow? Belle, there's something important I want to talk to you about. Can Belle go to bed tonight?"

Fon’s Part

It's been a month since that night, the night Little Belle came to sleep with me. Right now I don't know how I should feel, how to act without being abnormal, without being nervous, without losing my mind, without exploding at others who don't know anything. Since that night, or not, the morning after we had breakfast together, I haven't seen Belle again. She asked for time with me.

She avoided me even on LINE. She read the message I typed but didn't reply to me at all. I know she was shocked and confused by what I said. But I didn't think that she would be this much. She would probably be afraid of me. I can only blame myself. And keep praying that my younger sibling won't hate me. Even though my feelings for you are unrequited, it's okay. I just want to be a good older sister to you like I've always been. But it's probably difficult. I have to be clear about this. Sometime now

"Belle, I know that Belle still doesn't want to talk to you or see you."

"Belle must be in trouble and doesn't know what to do about what you told Belle."

“But Bell, don't worry. There's no need to worry about anything. I understand that feelings can't be forced."

“I don't want Belle to think too much about you. But if it makes Belle think too much and be like this, I will stop it myself.”

"Don't worry about me."

"You're still Belle's older sister."

"I don't know if Belle is sleeping right now, but sweet dreams."

I typed a message through a famous application to her, and this will probably be the last message I will speak to Little Bell about this matter. After this, I will return to being the same big sister that you know me. Made me think a lot about my feelings again. Even though this love was unrequited, it made me grow.

I have learned that Seeing the person we love happy is the greatest joy of loving someone. From now on I will stop my feelings. Even though this decision is painful, I accept it to make the person I love comfortable because love has only two ways: Love or not love?

If you were to love me, you would have loved me a long time ago. But if you don't love me, you don't love me. This is the truth that must be accepted.

Belle’s Part

"Is there something you want to talk to me about, Bell? What's the problem? What are you stressed about?"

I still remember that caring tone.

"There's a little bit, P'Fon. Actually, it's about you."

"Hmm, hyung?"

The conversation that happened before bed that night between us I will never forget.

“Uh, do you have any problems these days? Please explain it to me."

If it were possible, I would like to go back in time and not ask you this question.

"Why does Belle ask you like this?"

The question came back to me again.

"Well, P'Fon is acting strangely. He rarely comes to play with Belle as usual.

Or is P'Fon uncomfortable with having to serve fans? You can tell Belle."

"No, it's not like that."

I hurriedly refused. At that time, I could only wonder what exactly happened to you.

"If not, what's wrong with P'Fon? Belle knows that this morning when her eyes were swollen, she cried.

Even though I said I had a little rest, Belle could tell."

"Belle knows..."

"Ah, now you can tell me what your problem is."

A question that stemmed from my concern and received only silence as an answer. The silence that comes with an atmosphere of discomfort.

"Belle is worried about P'Fon."

I have a thoughtful expression. A hint of hesitation appeared on his face.

"Belle, bro..."

You spoke and then fell silent again, along with the concern I could feel, so I gently held your hand to offer support.

“Belle, what do you have to tell Belle? It might shock Bell because it would be something Bell couldn't have thought of.”

I spoke slowly and clearly.

"Belle..."

He raised his head and looked at me with sweet and determined eyes.

"...I love Belle. Love like a lover, not love like a sister."

"P'Fon..."

After that we sat in silence for a long time. I was quiet because I was in shock. Phi Fon was probably quiet because he saw me silent.

“Belle, you don't have to think too much. There's no need to answer to you. I'm telling you because I want you to know."

I remained silent because I didn't know what to say.

"It's late. Let's go to bed, Bell. You've been tired all day today."

You must have seen my stunned state, so he ended the conversation and invited me to bed. I walked over and turned off the lights, leaving only the bedside lamp. We lay down and went to sleep, each with our backs to each other. The room fell into darkness and silence, we both knew that the other was not asleep yet. So I said one last sentence before closing my eyes and falling asleep.

“P'Fon, Belle is completely confused now. Belle, please give me some time."

"I understand. Sweet dreams, Belle."

"Sweet dreams, P'Fon."

After that day until tonight, I haven't talked to P'Fon again. Everyone is doing their own work. Even though P'Fon has messaged me via Line, I haven't responded. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid I'll make you sad. I'm sorry, P'Fon.

The Line application notification sounded and a message from the person I was thinking of was sent.

"I know Belle still doesn't want to talk to you or see you."

"Belle must be in trouble and doesn't know what to do about what you told Belle."

“But Bell, don't worry. There's no need to worry about anything. I understand that feelings can't be forced."

“I don't want Belle to think too much about you. But if it makes Belle think too much and be like this, I will stop it myself.”

"Don't worry about me."

"You're always Belle's older sister."

"I don't know if Belle is sleeping right now, but sweet dreams."

I read the message in its entirety and tears flowed from my eyes with guilt. As usual I didn't reply. Phi Fon, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't respond to your feelings. Even though you told me not to think too much Even if I say that it's okay. But does P'Fon know that your messages make me unable to sleep anymore?

The End