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Emotions in writing and inspiration from songs

It Hurt And Hurt

"Today, Mi So, you don't have to stay and help Auntie close the shop." The shop owner walked in and spoke beside her. I'm putting the glass in place.

“Why?” I asked curiously because I normally stay here to help close the shop. If you don't let me stay today, will your aunt be able to close the shop alone?

“Today, Auntie will open the shop until late at night. Auntie's son will bring his friends. Come party at the shop. Therefore, you can go back immediately. You don't have to stay until the shop closes. It's a waste of time for me to come home late."

“Then I'll help you until Auntie's son comes.”

“Thank you very much.”

I didn't answer anything but smiled at your aunt. Auntie Jung opened a small coffee shop. Your son is studying at university for a long time. I'll come back and visit my aunt sometime. Auntie is very nice to me as a part-time employee. It is very rare that I have met such a kind boss compared to the manager of the bookstore that I have to work on Saturdays.

That week was as different as the sky and the abyss. It was more cruel than cruel. But what could I do? A person like me couldn't choose a job. Why? Because I'm not Korean. My father is Thai. Mother is Korean I was born in Thailand and moved away from Korea since childhood. But then my father and mother passed away in a car accident 4 years ago.

Nowadays, I have to work to send myself to school. Wherever they accepted me to work, I did it all. My life was very difficult, but I had to do it in order to survive.

My name is Tamisa, but everyone calls me Meeso. I have to work part-time to support myself and send myself to school. Especially during school term like now, I'm especially tired because of studying and work. Every Monday - Friday In the morning I have to go to study. In the evening, I come to work at Aunt Jong Sao-Athit's shop.

I have to go to work at the bookstore. At night I work at a restaurant. Let me tell you, this life of struggling to survive is very tiring and difficult. I have no relatives anywhere in Korea. I feel like I have to be alone, but...

“I haven't seen him right now,” Auntie Jung said, causing me to flinch.

“Where is he?” I replied even though I knew who his aunt was talking about.

"Oh, so it's my boyfriend. What's his name?"

“Tae Sung, Park Tae Sung.”

"Ah, that's it. Where did he go?"

“He's busy. It's almost time to finish so there's especially a lot of work. I'm going to another province because of work before graduating."

lie!!! It's all a lie. What I told Auntie Jung was a lie. Where is he these days? What to do, I don't know. But I believe that he will probably come back soon. He is not that cruel.

“So, when will he come back to me? Auntie will buy you coffee. My aunt's daughter is studying at university. There's a lot of work, too. I understand."

“Yes, thank you very much on behalf of Taesung hyung.” I bowed in gratitude.

Then, not long after that, Auntie Jung's son brought a friend to the shop, so I excused myself to leave. It's been a while since I ended up early, so I chose to stop by there at the same time that day. The last day I saw him.

I'm standing in a corner of the park looking at the water. This corner is a corner where there aren't many people. It's my favorite corner with Tae Sung. In the past, he and I used to meet here. And that day, now that I'm here with him, I still remember his last images and feelings. Tae Sung's hand that was slowly slipping away from mine. His back slowly disappeared.

I took a deep breath, trying to chase away the tears that were welling up, but still, I couldn't help but look to my side and around me. Even though it hurts every time I look and can't even see anyone's shadow, I'm really hoping. that he will come to me I was going to see him here again, but then I realized that he wasn't coming. not standing next to

And then the tears that I had been holding back came flowing out. My consciousness lost and I shouted Tae Sung's name like crazy.

“Brother Tae Sung, Brother Tae Sung, are you around here? Come out, come out to me right now, cheers.” I shouted and sobbed, “Brother Tae Sung, you are cruel. You can't bear to see me like this, Brother Tae Sung, huh!”

I arrived in the room feeling exhausted. It had only been three months since this incident. But there's no way I can accept it.

'Park Tae Sung' is a senior at the university. I met him at a university sports event when I was in year 1. He was in year 2 at the time. He was very kind. After that, Tae Sung hyung and I kept in touch. We talked all the time. Until we agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend, Tae Sung hyung always helped me. both giving encouragement Both standing by my side and giving advice.

If he can help with anything, he will help immediately. He openly dated me and never thought of being ashamed of having someone like me as his girlfriend. Tae Sung hyung is really such a good person that I can't help but think that if I don't meet good people in this life. Like what will Tae Sung be like and don't dare to think about the day when he no longer has him? On a day without Taesung hyung, how will I survive?

“Do you like it?” Tae Sung asked as he handed him the magazine. In it, there was a picture of a woman wearing a clean white dress posing in the middle of a white sandy beach, contrasting with the background of the sea reflecting the sparkling sunlight. It was truly a beautiful picture.

“I like it,” I turned around.

“Then let's have our wedding like this.” I turned to look at Tae Sung before looking away because I couldn't resist this embarrassment.

“Tae Sung, what are you joking about?” I replied in a low voice.

“I'm not joking, I'm serious. our wedding I will do everything you want for Mi So and I will make Mi So the luckiest bride in the world.”

I'm quiet, not that I'm dissatisfied. It's not that I don't like it, but...

“Will you marry me?”

"certain"

Tick, tick, tick.

The sound of the alarm clock pulled me out of my memories of the past. I got up and turned off the clock before sitting back and thinking about the event. I still remember my wide smile that day. And today I smiled again, but this smile was the bitterest. 'I'll wait for you to come back and fulfill your promise, Tae Sung hyung, come back quickly.'

Today I only have morning class. After class I intend to go eat and do a report at the library. It's better to finish your homework early. Because I don't have as much time as other people. I picked up my cell phone and pressed into the chat application and tapped Tae Sung's name out of habit before stopping because he hadn't responded to my chat for 3 months and there was only me. Talking alone like a crazy person

I hurriedly shook the bad feeling out of my head before rushing to eat and head to the library. But who would have thought that I would meet Taesung hyung's friends? I saw them and then they saw me too. I immediately turned around and walked away in another direction. I...don't dare face them.

My life continues as normal, working, studying, and waiting...waiting for Tae Sung to come back and tell me where he's been. However, I believe that he will definitely never leave me. I believe in the love that we have. Believing in the words that Tae Sung hyung said, it was another day that I missed Tae Sung hyung so much that I had to send him a message again.

I opened the message box and still saw the old message that was read but not replied to. Then I typed the message with the same content again.

'Where are you? I miss you, do you know?'

'Where are you going? Why didn't you tell me first?'

'Why don't you answer my messages?'

'Crying stickers'

'You really left me like my friend said, right? You don't love me anymore, right? Why, why, why!'

I feel sorry for myself. I should accept the truth, right? It's already been 3 months since I've come this far. I'm sitting still. Staring at the motionless screen and letting the water flow out without even needing to cry or sob, just sitting and staring at Tae Sung's pro picture, tears flowed continuously. Drop after drop tells of the pain in my heart. He doesn't go online, doesn't read, doesn't reply. What the hell are you waiting for, Sony?

I opened my eyes and woke up with a feeling of pain at the corners of my eyes. When I looked in the mirror, I wasn't surprised because my eyes were swollen from crying yesterday. I didn't care much and hurriedly got dressed to go to class. But on the way into the group, I ran into my close friend, Tae Sung, who looked at me strangely. But he didn't say anything and just walked past. But I felt something was wrong.

When I got to class, I quickly opened my phone and saw that Tae Sung hyung had read my chats. But he still didn't answer. But I saw one thing I hadn't seen in 3 months: status.

“I will go back and find it.”

I'm so excited, my heart is pounding. Brother Tae Sung's status update He said he would come back. Does that mean he would come back to me? From that moment my mind kept waiting for Tae Sung hyung to come all day but then... he didn't come. I walked back to my room with hope. that he would meet his brother in front of the dormitory But along the way I felt strange, like someone was following me.

I'm always looking back. But when I turned around, I didn't see anyone like this the entire way I walked, whether it was going back to the dorm or going to work, or whether it was Tae Sung's hyung! I hurriedly pressed the phone to call Tae Sung, hoping that I could hear the phone ringing nearby. But where was it?

“The number you called cannot be reached at this time.”

Disappointed. I'm the most disappointed. But it's okay. I've been waiting for 3 months. Wait a little longer. What will happen? It won't be long before I get to meet Tae Sung hyung.

This morning, I really didn't expect to meet Park Jae Won. Tae Sung's younger sister Waiting in front of the dormitory

"Hello, Miss Mi So. I haven't seen you in a long time."

“Jaewon, is there something wrong with you?” I asked as soon as Jaewon greeted me.

“It's nothing. I just want to come visit you. Let's see if you're okay or not.” At this, Jaewon made a strange expression. before continuing to say “Then I will come and say that the day is almost here. I hope Mi So will come.”

Speaking of this, I froze as if I'd been electrocuted. I understood exactly what day Jaewon meant, but...

“Uh Jaewon, is there something urgent? I have to go to work right away. If you're late, you'll get scolded and your wages can be cut off.”

"No"

"Then I'll excuse you." I hurriedly separated myself. Part of it was work, but the important part was that I didn't want to talk.

I...Should I go? I feel extremely bitter right now. He was almost coughing up blood.

Then the day came and I decided to go with a black dress. A bouquet of white flowers I take a deep breath and begin my journey. Each step was extremely difficult. I'm so confused right now but I know there's one thing I need to do. For Tae Sung, who I love...with all my heart.

I arrived at a place that was quiet but filled with sadness. The room was filled with square shelves, with pictures and names, and in one corner, a porcelain jar with Tae Sung hyung's picture and name tag. is writing Seeing this, tears flowed from my eyes. Without ordering, I placed the flower in front of the picture. Before you sob yourself, yes..

Today is the anniversary of his death. 100 days of Tae Sung

Pictures of various events The events of the first day I met you flowed into my head. The day I agreed to date you The day we were happy, the day we separated You left with a smile. I still remember the last feeling of our hands slowly falling apart. They separated well. A few hours later, I received news that Tae Sung hyung had died in an accident on the spot.

You didn't even say goodbye to me. Who would accept that? I keep sending you messages. And because I have your ID code I'm the one who opened it and read it. I'm the one who updated that status. I do that regularly. In the morning I forgot I did it but when I saw your bone jar Everything that I 'deceived' flowed into my head.

make me remember again Tae Sung hyung is cruel. I never thought he would do this to me.

I fell to my knees, sobbing. I don't know how much time passed before I got up. Then I turned and walked out. I walked past Tae Sung's family in front of the door. I bowed with tears in my eyes. Before walking away, walking down the street with an empty heart Looking at the road, wandering without looking behind me, I walked and thought about whether I could accept the truth or not. Tae Sung's brother had died and was no longer in this world, or he just wanted to be away from me for a while and then there was a feeling. Happiness lies somewhere in this world. Thinking while smiling at the choice that you have decided to continue to believe.

finish