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First time I saw you

The young boy tightened his grip on the backpack. His hands were covered with sweat from excitement. Today was his first day of starting school, so he was especially excited. He felt like he had returned to being a four-year-old boy. I was 12 years old again when I had to say goodbye to my parents who drove me to pick me up. When I walked into school, the noise was the first thing I heard. Everyone in this school looked so big that it made him look smaller. Immediately, the society here was completely different from the society he had lived in. He rubbed his hands as he walked to the front of the classroom. Before slowly walking boldly, everyone seemed to have entered the room. The homeroom teacher called him to stand in front of thirty classmates before telling him to introduce himself. He tried very hard to This keeps his voice from shaking and doesn't accidentally do anything crazy.

“Uh...my name is Harry Edworld Styles. I'm...uh, 16 years old.”

The entire room was silent and almost no one paid any attention to what he was saying, which was good enough to reduce his nervousness a lot, except for a pair of blue eyes that barely blinked at him. He turned to look at the teacher standing next to him before the teacher nodded, allowing him to walk over to find a seat.

'Damn, that guy is so boring.'

He heard someone speak, followed by laughter. He wanted to speed up the time to return home. He admitted that he was really boring. He had all the elements of a boring person since he was born. He had never thought of liking his own appearance, even his curly brown hair that no matter how he combed it, it always looked messy. Shoots erratically all the time, glasses are thick.

I never had friends because I was a quiet person. I don't like giving out timid opinions. And seems to be one of the most boring people, walking around with his head down and looking at the ground all the time. He didn't know where to sit when no one seemed to welcome him.

“Do you want to come sit with me?”

He looked up at that person, unable to believe his ears. His breath hitched as he looked at that person. From the brown hair brushed aside to the same pair of blue eyes that were always looking at him when he introduced himself. His nose was high and his lips were thin, light pink, revealing a bright smile with small white fangs. He didn't know that he hadn't looked at the face of the person in front of him for a long time.

Realizing that, the person tilted his head slightly, waiting for an answer. He nodded slightly before sitting down in the chair. Until soon it was time for lunch.

“Hey Harry, would you like to go to lunch with me?”

The person next to him he just knew was named Lewis but he preferred to be called Louis rather than inviting him. He nodded slightly in agreement. The two of them walked to the cafeteria together, listening to his new friends chatter and recommending almost every nook and cranny of the school along the way. Strangely, he usually doesn't like people who aren't close to him talking or asking too much about him, no matter who they are. Which is one of the drawbacks that makes him never have any close friends in his entire life, but that's not the case with Louie.

"Do you like this school, Harry?"

Louie asked after sitting down to eat for a while.

“Actually, I don't really like it that much. I feel like this place is not suitable for a boring person like me.”

He said as he looked around at the hundreds of students who were now gathered in the cafeteria. They all looked handsome in their clothing from various famous brands, while only he and Louie wore normal clothes.

“You're not boring at all. Well, if I were to become friends with you, would you like this place better? Would you like to stay here?”

He thought for a little before nodding. Louie smiled widely, revealing almost all of his white teeth in response.

“So we're friends now.”

After that day, a year had passed and he had Louie as his only friend. The two of them quickly became close as if they had known each other all their lives, so close that they were aware of each other's every abnormality, even though they tried to just conceal it. And today is the same. If one day Louie said that he had a magical power to read other people's thoughts like in the movies, he would believe it immediately because he could never hide anything in front of Louie.

“Hey Haz, what are you doing these days? You look like... like you're worried about something.”

He wants to lie, but that's it. He always tells Louie the truth without being forced by Louie because when he meets blue eyes that remind him of the sea, they look at him with care and sincerity every time. He didn't want to lie and dared to tell Louie everything, no matter how big or small it was. Or things that he never even told anyone, he dared to say them comfortably to Louie, and Louie always had a good way to solve problems for him.

“I...I like Zen. I know it might sound crazy that someone like me likes him. What should I do, Louie?”

The Zen he's talking about is the number one popular guy at school and is in the same class as him and Louie. Zen has a boyfriend. Zen's girlfriend can be called the most perfect woman. She has everything that every woman dreams of having. The reason he (thought) liked Zen was because they had worked in a group together and had made a slight impression. He wasn't sure if he really liked Zen or not.

“So what are you going to do next?”

Louie spoke in the same simple, casual voice.

“I don't know what to do, Lu.”

And he was about to say that he wasn't sure if he really liked Zen or not, but Louie spoke up first.

“Do whatever makes you feel comfortable, Hazza.”

Louie smiled at him. That smile always gave him courage. It made him believe in himself even more. This evening, he went to see Zen at the football field, where he usually saw him playing football with his friends every day after school. He waited for Zen until he parted ways with his friends, so he walked over to him just as Zen was about to go. walk out

“Uh, Zen, can I talk to you for a moment?”

Zen looked a little confused by his sudden appearance but nodded. He didn't know how to begin. He was hesitant about whether he really liked Zen or not, but he didn't want to waste the courage he had gathered, so he spoke up.

“I like you.”

Zen, who was already confused, looked even more confused, his thick eyebrows furrowed together into a knot.

“But I don't like you. I'm sorry. You have nothing more to say, right?”

Zen walked away but he was still standing in the same place. Why didn't he feel anything like he thought he would? Today, he walked home with a million questions in his mind that he still couldn't find an answer to. He didn't hear the sound of a car horn and a car hurtling towards him at high speed without even bothering to brake. His body had only gone a little, and if no one had come to save him, he would have been lying in a heap on the road. He turned to look at the person who saved him, but he never thought that the person who saved him was Zen.

“Whoever let you walk across the road without paying attention like this, you almost got hit by a car. Damn it, you really are so dishonest.”

Zen held his hand and led him safely across to the other side of the road before he hurriedly crossed back to the same side to catch the bus he took home every day.

For the next few days, ever since he spoke to Zen that day, he hadn't seen Louie at all. Being at school alone without Louie was boring, but more than that, he was worried about Louie to the point. As crazy as he is, Louie never goes anywhere without telling him. It made him think even more about what was wrong with Louie. He looked out the window, his head was full of things about Louie, but his thoughts were cut short when he saw Louie walking into the room while he was in class. The first episode had only just begun. The teacher who was teaching gave Louie a spine-tingling look before continuing to teach. He wanted to ask Louie right now why he didn't come to school, but he had to wait until lunchtime because the teacher still sent His eyes were in Louie's direction all the time.

Normally, when it was time for lunch, he and Louie would walk to the cafeteria together, but today, as soon as it was time for lunch, Louie walked out in such a hurry that he didn't even have time to ask what he wanted to ask when he got there. In the cafeteria he looked for Louie but couldn't find him. Today was another day where he had to eat alone. He thought Louie might be angry at him, but he didn't know what Louie was angry about. When he finished eating, he hurriedly went out to look for Louie, but he didn't find him until he left. Found Louie lying on a tree. Louie closed his eyes as if he were asleep, but he knew that Louie wasn't really asleep.

“Louie, can you come down and talk?”

Louie didn't answer him. He knew that Louie had heard but he remained silent. He regrets everything. He didn't know what had happened between him and Louie.

“What are you doing, Louie? Why don't you talk to me?"

“Okay, if you don't come down. Then I will go up to you.”

He tried to climb up the tree. He had never even planned to do something like this and he swore that this would be the only time in his life that he would ever do something like this. Louie didn't know how much he cared for Louie because Louie was his only friend. He and no one had ever cared and cared for him like Louie had before. He had almost reached Louie but he fell. He thought that no bones would be broken, just pain all over his body, but the pain was almost nothing compared to the sorrow he felt now. He saw Louie approaching him, and there was only concern in those blue eyes. Louie helped him up and hurriedly asked in an impatient voice.

“What's wrong with you, Haz? Where are your bones broken?”

He didn't answer that question. Instead, he said what was on his mind.

“What's wrong with you? Why didn't you tell me? You know I'm crazy about you. You have no idea how much I think about you. You're the only person I care about the most. I've never been as close to anyone as you are before, and I probably never will. To be as close to anyone as you are again, now I'm wondering if I'm the only one who thinks we're close.”

His voice at the end was soft and trembling, as if he hadn't spoken. He was afraid of Louie's answer. He wanted Louie to deny that it wasn't what he thought it was, but Louie walked away from him. I don't know how long I sat there. The thoughts in his brain were all racing together. In the end, this must be Louie's answer, right?

He wanted to curse himself for trusting that Louie would actually want to be friends with him. He's the biggest idiot. He should have known that no one would want to be friends with a boring person like him.

From that day on, Louie and him were like living in different worlds. His own soul was like his soul had been sucked out of his body. The matters I studied did not enter into the second day and I did not talk to anyone all day. There was nothing that made him smile right now. He felt like he was a robot just going about his day. He misses Louie so much that he can hardly do anything.

Even though we meet every day Sitting next to each other every day, Louie never said a single word to him.

Today is the day the exam results are announced. The teacher speaks loudly in a way that the whole room can hear, or maybe even the next room as well.

“Mr. Stiles, your exam results are as bad as I have ever seen them before. I will send this report to your parents and will also add some extra homework for you.”

After that, the teachers continued to complain about his grades while many laughed at him. He wasn't interested in listening much. It was true that he wasn't a good student, but he had never done so poorly on a test before, especially in the subject he was good at and liked the most, like English, which he had always done well in. He needed Louie's hand. He would hold his hand and cheerfully tell him that he would be fine. After the bell rang to announce the end of class, he hurriedly put his things in his bag and left the classroom. He walked to the bus stop as usual, but today there were rowdy kids many times bigger than him blocking the path he had to walk through. There was no other way but to walk past them, and of course they didn't. Letting him go easily, he continued to try to walk but was held back by them.

" What's up "

He tried to sound like he wasn't afraid of them, although it didn't help at all.

“Where are you going in such a hurry? Is your friend not around today? What is it called?”

“Louie or something, my son. A person who acts stupid and likes to do things that displease other people's ears.”

“You have no right to say that to Louie. And what do you guys do every day besides standing around and picking trouble for others?”

This was probably the first time in several days that he had spoken at length about how he didn't like people who never knew Louie as well as him calling him Louie. He spoke like that knowing full well that it would cause him to get slammed in the face until he lay on the ground and stomped again. They stomped on him until they were satisfied and left him lying there. He tried to push his body. Traumatized but very difficult

“Hey Harry, is that you?”

He looked at the person standing in front of him, secretly hoping it was Louie who was with him in this situation, but that person was not Zen.

“Why are you like this? Your condition looks very bad.”

Zen came to help him up. He frowned in pain. It seemed like he had been hit harder than he had originally thought.

“Can you go home by yourself?”

He nodded, he wanted to be able to rely on himself even without Louie helping him with everything like before.

“So where did your boyfriend go?”

" sweetheart? ”

“It's the person who used to go everywhere with you. Someone named Louie."

“Louie is not my boyfriend. We're just friends.”

“Really? But I don't think he thinks of you just as a friend.”

“Why do you think like that?”

“I can see from the way he's looking at you that it's the same as when I look at my boyfriend. You haven't even noticed. You really are such a jerk. Even though they're so close, why can't you tell? Everyone else can tell, and the attitude is so obvious.”

He couldn't believe it. What does Louie think of him beyond the fact that his friend Zen walked him all the way to the bus stop before saying goodbye?

“Hey Zen, let me ask you, when you're with Gigi, how do you feel?”

Zen turned around and looked at him in confusion before smiling as she thought of her own girlfriend.

“ Ji makes me want to take the best care of her and do anything for her, I will never let go of her hand. Think carefully, Harry, about you and Louie. I'm sure he loves you as much as I love you."

And that evening, Zen's words stuck in his head. Could the idea that Louie loved him more than just a friend really be possible? He lay on the bed, took off his glasses, and closed his eyes, trying to drive. Get these stupid things out of his head.

'Knock knock'

He heard someone knocking at his window and hurriedly opened it to see Louie wearing a striped nightshirt standing on the balcony of his room.

“May I come in please?”

He nodded slightly before moving to let Louie into the room. Louie had slept in his room many times, so he was very familiar with it. Having not talked for several days, he didn't know what to say. good He could only silently look down at his feet before he remembered that he was only wearing boxers. His face suddenly heated up. Why did he have to be ashamed of Louie for wearing boxers? Only one sleeper. In the past, whenever Louie came to sleep with him, he always wore pajamas. But today, he didn't know that Louie was coming, so he just wore this.

“What happened to you, Hazza?”

Louie started to speak before coming to look at him carefully and lifting his chin to look at his face. He didn't realize how much he missed Louie's gentle voice, the way no one could replace Louie.

“It looks really bad, doesn't it Lu?”

Louie stared at his face for a long time. Louie's eyes flickered. He could see it, no matter how hard he tried to conceal it, just like when Louie could always see him.

“I should probably stay and help you then.”

“It's okay, Lu. It's fine if you just come back to me and I don't know what you were angry at me for. But I am very glad you came.”

Louie sat down on his bed before turning away.

“How are you and Zen doing?”

“I...I don't really like Zen, Louie. I think I'm just imagining it.”

He sat down next to Louie before Louie held his hand and turned to look at him with a serious expression.

“Hash, if I say something, Do you still want to be my friend? Will you be angry at me, Harry?”

Louie's eyes were filled with tears and his eyes flickered, unlike the Louie he knew who was always cheerful. His heart was pounding, Zen's words echoed in his head. Will what Louie has to say be like Zen said?

“You say it, no matter what it is, I will never leave you.”

“Harry, do you know? Why have I been missing for the past few days? Do you know why I have to avoid you? It's because I love you. I've loved you for a long time too. I've loved you since the day I first met you. I don't know if there was anything that made me love you this much, but after that day The day you said you liked Zen I know that I don't have any hope anymore because you like someone else, so I tried to get over you. But do you know how I can't forget you? I still care and love you all the time."

He was silent for several seconds with an indescribable feeling. Louie used his hand to wipe away his tears before standing up. But he held Louie's hand.

“Lou”

Tears streamed down his cheeks. He didn't want Louie to be sad because of him. Because that hurt him too. Louie raised his chin to wipe away his tears like usual. Those warm eyes that looked at him made tears flow even more. He saw that Louie's tears were flowing as well as his. Louie leaned down and kissed his tears.

“I'm sorry, Hazza. I'm sorry I love you, but I really can't stop myself.”

Louie's voice whispered in his ear. He hugged Louie tightly.

“Lou, can you give me some time? I can't love you like that right now, but can you wait for me? I know it's selfish of me to keep you waiting for something that I can't tell if that day will ever come, but I can't lose you. I can't lose you, Louie.”

Louie sat down next to him as usual before resting her head on his shoulder.

“I've been waiting for you for a year. Why can't I wait for you again, Harry? Thank you for at least giving me some hope. I love you, my Hazza."

After that day, time passed until they were in their last year of school and intended to enter the same university. Since that day, Louie had returned to his old Louie. And it never made him feel uncomfortable. He held his hand sometimes, but not so often that it made him feel uncomfortable. Today Louie came to read a book at his house.

But Louie had been asleep with a pile of books for an hour and he looked at Louie's face as he slept. Eyelids closed over those beautiful blue eyes, he placed his hand on Louie's cheek but was slightly startled when Louie woke up and held his hand.

“You did this again. Give me hope like this again.”

Louie finished speaking and smiled at him before getting up and lying on the bed. He walked over to the bed and lay down next to Louie. He turned off the light at the head of the bed, leaving the entire room in darkness. Louie turned to hug him. He could hear Louie's heart beating as fast as his. He liked it when Louie held him like this because it always made him feel warm and safe. He thought about something before speaking. go

“I love you.”

He muttered in the silence. He had made a good decision to say that he loved Louie and wanted Louie to be here beside him forever.

“What did you say?”

Louie stared at him. Even though the whole room was dark, he could clearly see Louie's face. He pressed his face against Louie's chest to escape his gaze.

“I love you, let me be your boyfriend.”

“Are you telling the truth, Harry? You really said that, didn't you?”

“I love you, Louie. I love you the most. Are you a lover?”

“Why do you ask when you already know the answer? I love you too, my Hazza.”

Louie kissed his forehead before dragging his lips to his cheek, stopping on his lips, Louie inserting his tongue into his mouth. It made him feel like he couldn't breathe, but it felt good. Louie slowly withdrew his lips and lingered. He didn't dare to look at Louie again because he was afraid of the way Louie looked at him, which made his heart beat so fast. He buried his face in Louie's arms before disappearing.

He and Louie walked hand in hand into the school. After he was kissed by Louie, he didn't dare look at Louie again. He and Louie sat holding hands until lunchtime.

“Tonight, I want to sleep at your house again.”

“Aren't you thinking of going to sleep at your own house?”

“There's no one at my house to cuddle with...and if you won't let me sleep at your house, then you'll come sleep at my house instead.”

He walked with his head bowed. I don't want to argue with Louie again.

“Look, you pay attention, Louis. Just keep looking at my face.”

“I'm looking because your face is nice to look at, Haz.”

“So will I be able to read this book? If you keep staring at me like this.”

“Then you don't have to read it. Let's do something else.”

After saying that, Louie picked him up and put him on the bed, looking at him gently when the phone rang. On the screen was a message that Zen had written to him. He looked at the message before writing a reply.

“Harry, you didn't tell me that you and Louie were already lovers.”

"I just happened. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

“I saw it at lunchtime. You guys are so sweet that all the ants are gone.”

He couldn't help but smile at that statement before he began to feel that something was wrong with Louie.

“Did Zen send you a message?”

“Yes, are you jealous?”

“That's right, you said you liked him. How can you not make me think too much?”

“Then, from now on, should I talk to Zen every day? You will often get jealous of me.”

“I will bind you to me, Hazza.”

Harry and Louie laughed together before Louie kissed him again and again.