Fate with our people We've never talked.

#theendCM

B E R L I N ?

last time

...If I had known...I wouldn't have done that to him.

People cannot know the future that is about to happen. I believe that and have always believed, so I have never regretted or regretted anything that has happened in the slightest because of just the word... “It's about the future.” But until now, I've always wanted to have special powers to be able to know what the future is about to happen, whether it's near or far.

“Will it be like this for a long time?”

I looked into the round eyes that were trembling and glistening with drops of oil that weren't flowing out but were clinging inside. It could be said that it was more pitiful than if it had just flowed out, but I didn't feel any pity or pity. It didn't hurt my heart, but I was even annoyed that I had to see those water drops in these eyes. Therefore, all I did after hearing the question was a sigh and one hand raised to scratch. He still held back his emotions as always, like every time we argued, he never let the tears stain his face.

He never sobbed to be heard because I assumed he was. Men, even though they are the men I love, have never shown me anything more than a brother.

But that doesn't mean I don't love him. I love him very much. He is the first person I feel special with and don't want him to disappear from my life. But he is a man who is strong and has never been weak for me. This wasn't him standing and looking at me with disappointed and repentant eyes. This was the first time he couldn't hold back a drop of water. It was ready to overflow at any time if I said something wrong.

“What do you mean?”

He averted his eyes from me before blinking rapidly to chase away the water droplets that were about to flow out and covered his mouth with the back of his hand and took a breath before everything returned to him as before. Come back to be a strong person and refuse to act weak.

"I mean, how long are we going to be like this? The way we are today...I feel like we're not like before. So, what's the matter with us?"

I looked at him silently before lowering my head and looking away for another second before looking back at him again, rubbing my palm against my neck and remaining silent like that. I love him even though I told him slowly in my heart. Because I believe he is a man who doesn't want anything exciting in his life all the time. He never demands anything from me. There are times when we hang out alone but it's nothing special, which for me is like that. That's the best because if we only know in our hearts, there will be more to show, but now he's doing this.

"I think we should calm down first and talk later. Especially since we've been fighting a lot lately, you still can't quite adjust your mood...Minseok hyung."

I lowered my palms into both jeans pockets and started walking from here, but he held me back with a pleading look in his eyes. I had to stand in the same place and let another person look at me like that.

“Right now we're not fighting. I just want clarity...please tell me, Jongdae. That there is something between us or that Jongdae no longer loves you and I just ask that Jongdae tell you... that's all."

"It's nothing. Stop thinking too much or you'll just get a headache. I'll go."

I walked away from there as soon as I finished speaking. Why does it have to be clear between us? We are not men and women who have to show it to others blatantly for him. If anyone asks, I'm happy to say that we What's the matter? I don't want to hide anything, I'm just too lazy to let everyone know. And because I'm a man, I think it's best not to do anything too dramatic, so why is it me who has to? I just had a headache over this matter. I looked down at my wristwatch that was showing the time of dusk before walking a little further towards the bar my close friend frequented. I pushed open the solid black glass door and walked in to stop. In front of the bar counter, I saw my best friend standing and chatting with other customers.

And he had already noticed me. I looked at the image of a tall man bending over to whisper to a group of young women who laughed a little and turned away from walking towards me behind the bar counter. He turned to order drinks and pour the bar. Ender took care of his things before planting his arms on the counter and raising his eyebrows at me.

“What are you looking at?”

“So, what are you stressed about? You fought with Minseok hyung again, what was it about this time?”

I looked up at his face at the same time as the drink was being served. I made the time to pick up the glass and drink it. My best friend, Chanyeol, was standing there looking at me with an annoyed look. I put the glass down and sighed and said, answer it

“No, this time it's a new story.”

“Oh, there's an upgrade to the story now. Well, it's just a small matter.”

He said as he lifted the glass in his hand and took a small sip, turning to look at the female customer passing in front of him. I squeezed the glass in my hand tightly and lifted it up to drink the amber colored water, setting it down. With my hand outstretched to call the bartender to serve me, for over a minute I didn't say anything, there was only music playing in the background and small chatter from other customers inside the shop. Looking at Chanyeol, he picked up the glass and held it in his hand. He turned his chair around so that his back rested against the edge of the bar counter and spoke softly, but it was loud enough for Chanyeol to stop his actions. momentarily

“He asked what was between me and him.”

I heard the sound of a glass hitting the bar counter followed by a sigh that made me turn my head to see Chanyeol staring at me unmoving and I did the same. For over a minute, no one said anything and it was only him who looked away before Chanyeol pulled away again, but this time, harder and longer.

“Jongdae, I have already told you about this, haven't I?”

"Tell me? Why don't I remember?"

Chanyeol raised his palm to rub his face before picking up his glass that was on the counter and drinking. He didn't answer me right away, instead he just went to pour the drink and came back to stand and stare at me with completely bored eyes and... N finally agreed to speak. "Because you never cared about anything."

“How do you know?” I said as I stared at it, but I started to feel my own eyebrows furrow automatically. But Chanyeol didn't relent and continued to stare at me with the same eyes. “I've been your friend for a long time. Why don't I know who we are? Jongdae needs at least some attention.

If you keep quiet like this, be careful, it might be the last time you'll see Minseok's face, remember that.”

“Be careful, it might be the last time you ever see Minseok hyung, remember that.”

Chanyeol's words still stuck in my head and they were true. Because ever since the day Minseok hyung asked me what we were up to, I've never seen him again since, or if I did, he purposely avoided me and pretended not to see me. It made me irritated and couldn't stand it any longer. It's okay, like this time.

I saw him and he saw me. I would say it was a coincidence that we met in the university cafeteria and the reason came from the fact that I was too lazy to go out and find something to eat due to my habit of not wanting to wait for anything. For a long time I was staring at him and he couldn't look away as our eyes met. I slowly stepped through the crowd towards him.

After a few moments, I stopped in front of him. We still looked at each other, but the way he looked at me changed. It looks empty

Minseok hyung probably stopped thinking about it and I bet it's a good sign between the two of us. No one said anything, only a faint smile from him that was seen as forced. But that could be because he was tired from studying or it could be from his part-time job. At this moment, I admit that I really don't know what to say to him. It was after we hadn't seen each other for a long time, so stupid words came out of my mouth without thinking.

“Hello.” Minseok hyung was silent for a while before answering softly. He seemed distant and his actions now were like he was uncomfortable and wanted to get away from here. “Are you fine?”

"Fine...excuse me, it's time to study."

“Um,” I responded to his words. Minseok hyung immediately turned around and walked away without looking back. Not long after, his figure disappeared into the crowd. The image of his back was still etched in my mind as if he had just left a moment ago. In fact, it had been several minutes since he had walked away from here, but in my heart it still spoke. that he just left It was just gone before I could say these words back to him.

I miss you and want to say it.

What's wrong with you? I want to ask until my heart breaks.

Disappearing like this makes me feel bad and want to say something and...

I love you so much and I want to tell you so much.

People cannot perceive the future that is about to happen. That is a word that I have always held dear. I never thought that people needed to know the future. If we did, we would change it for the better or worse. How would we choose if we knew the results of our fighting actions? It's better to just let it happen on its own, but...now I don't think like that anymore. That's because

“Sorry, the summons you summoned cannot be reached at this time...”

Again, this is the hundredth time I've heard this sentence from my cell phone. Minseok hyung doesn't answer my calls. I don't know what the reason is that he chose to do this. But now I'm starting to feel very restless. It's been three days and I haven't been able to contact him. I went to look for him at his dorm and never found him, so I went and waited to see him at work, but I found out from Minseok's co-worker that he had resigned three days ago and that That was the day I met him for the first time in the many days we had been apart. The day I couldn't say much other than hello.

“Where have you been, Minseok-hyung?”

I still picked up the phone and dialed the same number I had been trying to contact for the past three days, but the result was the same: I couldn't contact him. I threw my cell phone on the bed in my dormitory before laying down on the bed, exhausted, staring at the white ceiling, letting various thoughts flow through my mind.

“Be careful, it might be the last time you ever see Minseok hyung, remember that.”

Chanyeol's words from several days ago suddenly surfaced for the last time, or if that's really the case, what should I do?

                                Rrrrrrrrrr

I sat up and quickly grabbed the phone that was ringing and picked up the phone immediately. In my mind, I only wished that it was that person who would contact me back and tell me the reason why he had gone and why I was here. I can't contact him. I want to hear a soft voice pleading with me, but it's just hope. Because when I answered the phone, Chanyeol's low voice came over the phone.

“Hello Jongdae.”

I felt that my eyes were starting to feel heavy. I don't know what it was, but right now I didn't have the strength to reply. Knowing that the other person wasn't that person, I called out briefly enough to let you know that I Waiting to hear it speak.

"I'm totally devastated. Happy birthday. I took the time to call you. Are you happy? Plus, will you give me a party to celebrate?"

happy birthday

I pulled out my phone like that before opening it to look at the date on the phone's application. It's actually my birthday today, but I'm not in the mood to congratulate myself on my birthday anymore and I still hear. Chanyeol's voice softly followed the line before he lifted the phone to his ear again.

"thank"

“Wow, you're more than welcome, my friend. Oh Jongdae, do you know why Minseok hyung dropped out like this today? Since I was in school with him, I overheard other people talking about him. I was so confused that I asked you. make sure I think my ears are going to explode. Hello Jongdae, are you listening to me? Hey, hello..."

I unknowingly hung up the phone. My consciousness had disappeared since Chanyeol said that Minseok hyung had dropped out of university. I couldn't control myself back to normal. His eyes were hot. It wasn't long before the picture in front of me became blurry. What was it? Why couldn't I see things as clearly as before? And why did I feel like the area around my eyes and cheeks were all wet? Am I... crying? Why are the tears flowing out? There aren't even any sounds, no sobs, no movement. Only water drops flow from the eyes without stopping and increasing more than before.

If I had known that it would be the last time I would see him, I should have told him what I was thinking, I would have held him and embraced him before he walked away. No, I...should have told him from the beginning. Tell him words that I don't know if he's been waiting to hear or not, but I should tell him, let him hear clearly and let others know. Tell him that I...

How much do you love him, but it's just the word "Probably" Why don't I do it? Why don't I make it more clear?

“Jongdae”

A soft voice sounded at the door of the room. It was a sound that was very familiar to my ears. I immediately got up and headed towards the door of the room. Before I could think of anything, my hand reached out and grabbed the doorknob and opened it. leave immediately Suddenly, my surroundings turned completely white before darkness descended on me. I couldn't see anything, not even my body or something as simple as my palm, but I couldn't see. In the darkness, there was only the same voice calling my name without stopping. The only thing I should have paid more attention to than myself was following that voice. I felt the voice grow louder and clearer, and in the next minute all around me. Mine lit up again.

“Jongdae!!”

“Recover Jongdae!”

“Don't leave me, Jongdae!!!”

We're here briefly because today is Mr. Jongdaemen's birthday.

I want to dress brightly but with a bit of drama, right?

I want you to know that something is uncertain. By the time we knew it, it was already too late.

It doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything, haha, but let's just say I composed it because of my birthday.

#happychenday

#theendCM