The sun melted from the sea and stared at the glass of wine. Think about the drinker who may have fallen asleep by now.

Do you know what you left behind? Kongphop's emotions fluctuate like waves in the sea. It happened because of you.

"How can I escape it?"

Athit sat motionless on the beach and stared distraughtly out into the darkness. All activities completed Pee Deer has already given all the gear to the younger sibling. It was concluded that he had finished his duties just like this. If you can hear the sound of waves crashing on the beach and see the sea as black, like yourself, whose emotions rise and fall like a roller coaster because of "one person", what is it?

Athit's thoughts drifted away a few days ago...

He doesn't understand himself either. Why did you have to come here? I know, but I don't know. Today the regular "water shop" is closed. Therefore, having two legs come here is completely unreasonable. And what's even more unreasonable is not just the matter of coming here, but the matter of "standing and waiting", standing and waiting for people who usually stop by this way after school on a regular basis, from 5 minutes to 10 minutes, from 10 minutes.

It turned out to be almost half an hour, even though my brain told me to go. You have more things to do than just stand there waiting for someone and fooling yourself that you aren't waiting for someone like this... It hurts that your brain is giving orders but your legs won't move.

The war between reason and emotion suddenly ended when a familiar voice sounded in front of them.

"Hello, Brother Athit. Aren't you going to buy cold milk today?"

"The shop is closed."

"And does anyone know that P'Athit likes to drink cold milk?"

"Huh!"

"And does anyone know that P'Athit's nickname is Ai Oun?"

"no !"

"And does anyone know that P'Athit secretly cries behind the stand?"

"If you tell anyone, I guarantee you'll get it."

The barrage of questions left him speechless for a moment. Why? And how would you answer? "Oh, among the first years, only you know." Oh, that's wrong, really. Today he is standing here. Because the daytime story is different.

"What day do you take your calculus exam?"

"Wednesday."

"Teacher likes to talk about the area under the graph. Go look at it a lot."

At the tutoring table today...every time I turned to glance, I didn't see any reaction. I kept my head down. I didn't know if I understood or if I was worried or not. When I asked directly, I thought it was too personal. So I came to wait here. Let it be like this There's nothing. It's normal for someone to be an older person. I'm going to take the exam. How can there not be any clouds falling from the sky? It's implied that you "believe" that you can do it.

As I said, I glanced around and saw it was quiet. I was so anxious that I had to wait here.

do not have anything

There's really nothing.

Even when I finished speaking and walked out of there... I still reminded myself over and over like a broken record that it was normal.

Even though inside my heart... I'm shocked and I'm crazy about my own thoughts. Athit... Damn it, everything I felt and did from morning until evening.

"Not at all." It's not normal at all.

The unusualness was increased to an even greater degree when they "heard" the impulsive first-year group talk about wanting to go swimming in the sea and show off the girls. Even if they know they're talking "just for fun", it's definitely better if it's prevented than fixed. This activity was not brutal at all. But the important thing is to be able to control your little one's limits. To "warn" them verbally.

It shouldn't be as effective as doing a light "repair".

Even so, I have to admit that my "mood" faltered a bit when I saw that in the group that accidentally spoke out, there was one "problem" hidden in it, and that problem was becoming tense. Why are you stressed? Athit expected the reason in his mind or because it would be forbidden to play in the water and show women.... Definitely going full force. He intended it in his heart.

And when he reached the beach, he didn't wait.

"Go, sir... I heard you guys really want to play in the sea."

Go ahead and play to your heart's content. But showing men together, to be honest, he never thought for a moment that things would go too far. Kongphop's eyes like that startled him. Then change to anger...no matter how displeased you are Kongphop never gets angry. Every time he would reply with a reason and an annoyed look on his face that had to be screwed loose, but today... those kind of eyes, those kind of words, that kind of emotion. It's unbelievable that it's a person.

The same face that we've seen each other for months. Why? Why doesn't he understand what he's doing and what he's ordered?

If his dissatisfaction could radiate heat.... he would probably burn to the ground on the beach.

The elder must be more conscious than the younger. But what is this delay in my chest? When he ordered it to go into the sea

It was much more complicated than anger at this point... The feeling of wanting to sing a joyful song by the sea disappeared at some point. If he just does it and hides behind the scenes like he's taking a break. If you can't help it It's not the same as it has been in the months since we met. Just for a moment, his eyes… looked after someone.

Why is it delayed like the legs are weighed down like that? Each step into the sea....was so strange that he began to worry. Then while turning to the second row, go and drag it up. A glimpse that takes your eyes away Turn around again.

Not here ... not anymore

Where are you going ????

At that time, the images in Athit's head slowed down like a slow motion picture.

The blue sky, white sand, bright sunlight and clear green sea..... turned grey. He heard nothing more. Whether it's the frightened cry of a friend or the frightened look of a younger sibling on the beach. where Athit was seen running into the sea and dragging someone up He heard nothing more. Aside from the sound of your heart beating rhythmically in your eardrums

"What is wrong with you"

Why don't you answer?

Don't be. Don't be anything.

The sound of choking and coughing made his hands tremble in fear.

"No, I don't have anything."

His eyes were probably filled with questions. The person sitting in the water answered honestly.

"You told me to keep my head cool... so I did."

Hands that were cold and shaking with fear It became a numbness that flashed from the toes to the face. How can it do this? How can it do it!!!! No, how can we feel like this? Why?!!!!! In that moment, a great deal of anger combined with shame.... shame that he had beaten himself before the fever, shame .... that his instincts were confessing to himself.

It was his own actions that peeled off the thick layer of hard work. Until outsiders saw the "specialness" he had towards this child. Will anyone notice?

It's already too dangerous. You can't stay like this.

"If I tell you to go die So you have to die?!!!!! Grow up and think about it!!!!"

"Quit base"

Not just because of anger but because he was unable to concentrate and continue his activities. It's too dangerous, not to the body, but to the mind.

That night....instead of falling asleep because of exhaustion But instead I have to worry about my own feelings. He went out for a walk to try and get some sleep. But found some problems....many bottles of "alcohol" too...they disappeared.

The muffled cheers coming from the junior room made him suspicious.

If it were a normal time, he would have cursed and ordered repairs that night.

But when I saw people joining the group in that room The scolding sound stuck in my throat, the eloquent words, the sharp words. It didn't come out of my mouth, "Disappointed," the feeling that was stuck in my heart was this word. Since the middle of the day Where had that boy who stood up for principles and reason gone? What Athit actually did was just look on silently.

Close the door and walk out without looking back. It seems close, but it's further away.

He's tired. I don't want to say anything else. It's too much for one day, even though it's not a stimulating activity, even though it's supposed to be fun. But what happened today has created chaos and confusion in my heart like never before. He's in trouble and he knows it. He shouldn't have felt anything about the actions of just one first year.

But he knows that everything that happened today cannot be stopped or controlled. He is not himself like he used to be.

That kid made his emotions fluctuate like a rollercoaster. Today he is angry, he is sad, he is afraid, he is confused because of "it" alone, not anyone else, because of "it" who had to wade into the water. You have to come for a walk. that can't say anything The influence of Kongphop's actions on him was already this great.

And even after playing the drama.... when I think of the pale face and the absent-mindedness when my friends acted in a drama that imitated the freshman event. Athit's heart twitched. When seeing the suffering and desire for forgiveness on Kongphop's face Can't help it like usual. Besides making him angry, afraid, sad, and confused.

This one also makes him "soft".

"If you know that if you do it I will be angry... then why do you do it?"

The silver gear in Sun's hand shone brightly... This also made my heart flutter again. What is the "meaning of gear"?

His eyes glittered in the dark shadows before he excused himself back into the room, leaving him alone on the beach with the glass of wine he had brought for him.

The sun melted from the sea and stared at the glass of wine. Think about the drinker who may have fallen asleep by now.

Do you know what you left behind? Kongphop's emotions fluctuate like waves in the sea. It happened because of you.

"How can I escape it?"

Athit didn't dare to think further about what the "reason" was for himself like this.

yin ni er qi fu de gan shou zen me zheng tuo

How do I break free from these feelings that rise and fall because of you