A young woman falls asleep because her past has caused her trauma.

one book With a past that I can't remember

and

When she woke up from sleep

Will you continue or will you run away?

I don't like the question. -Because I'm anxious to answer. -Afraid of the results

So I ran away...

Keep running away...

I can't remember how many times I ran away...

but

I remember the day I stopped running away.

I found a blue-black hardcover book.

As soon as I touched it I can feel the many stories that have passed through me. Even if it's not clear, I can feel it. Holding my breath, I dusted off the cover of my notebook. Because I'm severely allergic to dust, if anyone doesn't know yet. I slowly sat down on the floor and opened the book, staring at the letters on the first page. - My handwriting is clear. It's quite clear.

Many years ago

I don't want to specify the time or date.

including content

During that time I was quite unwell, both physically and mentally. So I had to live in a small square bedroom. without going anywhere for a very long time I spent my time resting and healing. Write notes and more I'm looking forward to having friends. But there's never been any.

In this notebook I wrote it myself with a simple wooden pencil. I wrote the time and date - clearly every moment of the contents of the journal. In a day, I write about five to six times. It made me remember some things from that time. The content of the story during that time was only sad and lonely. But some of the stories I read-

I still can't remember or remember anything at all...

- It's been a very long time. I spent time reading this old notebook. I read every letter without overlooking the obvious deletions in some words. I tried myself and tested myself. When I read my old stories, it was like taking my mind back to the past, going for a walk, running around in old stories over and over again. What would I be like? Can you endure it? Will there be tears? How will you feel? I want to know about this myself.

- I closed the notebook and placed it in front of me. I turned to look at the shabby clock on the wall. -It took a long time, I thought, but now I have something else to think about. I sighed and got up to walk over and open the window. A cool wind blew into the face, gently but heavily. At the same time, the heavy things were removed from my head -

I closed my eyes and stood still. I can't be sure how long I stood there. The coolness of the wind that continues to blow in keeps me conscious... I raised my right hand - gently placed it on his left chest - and opened my eyes -

I'm still alive.

I haven't died, but I've been reborn.

I don't feel bad. I still have no tears. That old story I can't do anything.

You may be heartbroken and shaken. But I'm still here, living in the present.

Some things may need to be careful. Even though it's not completely cured, I'll make it through.

Just like now that I've gone through it in some cases.

When he graciously allowed me to be born again to start over. I must make it worthwhile.

with His mercy

-That evening

I'm going through things to find a book. Whether it's old or new, it's good. Small or large volumes are not a problem. But I still could not find one. Until I was hungry, I ate - ate and drank. When I was full, I continued searching. Until I came across an old cardboard box, light brown. There were dark spots indicating the humidity it had experienced.

I slowly opened it and managed to find a book inside the crate. Even though I don't have the book yet, I have many old books that I used to like to read in this box. which is considered good My bookshelf will have more books. And finally, at the bottom of the cardboard box, I found several unused notebooks.

Stacked on top of each other, both soft and hard covers. I slowly took it out and placed it outside the crate to look at the books I liked and liked. Until finally got one book A medium sized hard cover notebook with no pattern, just colours... the inside is still new but smells musty. Each sheet of paper still has clear lines. I like it.

-Before going to bed, I opened a new book. Put your finger on the sheet of paper and rub it down to the tip. and pick up your favorite pencil -That's what I use often- I sit and think about this first page. Should I write something about myself... To say that this book is owned by me. But when I think about it, I just write. "My notebook" is just that...

When turning the paper over to the next page I could only stare at it for a while and then sit back and sigh... Finally, I put the tip of my pencil on the paper and began to write the time and date. Then the next line I wrote that

In the end of my pain, I discovered that humans are capable of creating and destroying themselves and others at the same time. I have pain and wounds. But time can heal me too. I just open my heart to time. Don't resist it. And one day it will dilute. Even though it's not completely cured, it's enough to continue walking. In the past, I slept to escape the pain.

Escape every story that comes your way. Running aimlessly, I ran, ran, ran for my life. afraid of people And I'm afraid of the many questions I'm worried about the answers to. So I chose to sleep because no one would disturb me. But today I woke up and opened my eyes again. Because I've gotten better from the past. I can't remember much of my past, and I can't remember myself now either.

It's like I'm a newborn and uncertain about information. Now even the side effects from old wounds are many. You must accept the truth and continue to take care of the results you receive. I'm not that good at this time. But I would like to write to correct it. Give my life a new notebook. There were pages written on it with strength.

There is only the content of a new life, a fresh start. It may not be beautiful and many problems may arise again. I may be hurt that I am different again. But that is not as important as the fact that I once chose to get up again even though I was not strong. But my two legs chose to continue walking. And now in the present I'm still breathing... : Hello - My new notebook.

.good night.

©salinsiree