It was close to noon on the day that the cloudless sky was raising my body temperature. I raised one hand to wipe away the sweat that was dripping down my hairline.

So hot...that I want to escape and find a cool place.

But because today is an important day for my precious brother, I am more than happy to stand in the sunshine and act as the necessary cameraman.

“When you smile, open your eyes, Mr. Bank,” I said teasingly to my fellow seniors with familiarity before deciding to press the shutter of my expensive camera.

“You talk like you have eyes when you smile, Chris.” He teased me back as soon as I lowered the camera to check the picture. I laughed a little at those words. before raising the camera again to record a picture of a close senior.

That's right...today is the graduation day for graduates of the Faculty of Agriculture, Kasetsart University.

"P'Sing, P'Sing, can I take a picture with P'Chris?" Someone shouted loudly. Made me slowly lower the camera. Another senior who was walking on the other side stepped forward and stopped near me.

Brother Singto......

"P'Singto, stand next to P'Chris." A small woman's high-pitched voice sounded. I guess it was probably one of the fans who had been following my photo since morning but I didn't turn around to look or pay attention to who the owner of the voice was....because right now I was focusing on the person who was smiling sweetly at me. That group of fans

Yes..... Brother Singto is smiling.

Smiling like always......smiling like he had forgotten that something had happened between me and him today, a week ago.

“Very cute”

"P'Chris, please move towards P'Sing a little more."

“Keep it close. Please stand closely together."

The sound of the fans' voices interspersed with the sound of the shutters of dozens of cameras...

"P'Chris, P'Sing, please stand a little closer together," someone asked again. I didn't know how to behave so I just stood there... As for Brother Singto He nodded lightly before moving in as requested.

He moved closer....until I felt the touch of our shoulders pressed together.

“The two older brothers smiled widely.”

I forced out a smile but I could only do it for a moment.....It wasn't easy to smile when the cause of the chaos in my heart was standing nearby like this.

But why does P'Singto still smile?....Why does P'Singto still look happy?

Why do you still act like the same elder lion?

Why are you still in such a good mood as if nothing had happened?

"Chris, I don't have feelings for Chris like an older brother and a younger brother."

"I've always liked Chris....I really like him too."

Even though he said it like that....but now he acts like nothing happened.

“I want the two of us to be more than brothers....to be your boyfriend and girlfriend. I really love Chris.”

In the end, it was probably just a lie.....Actually, you didn't think anything of me at all.

Actually, what you said that day wasn't true.....that's why you still acted normally towards me like this.

“Chris...what's wrong?” The familiar voice of Hia Bank sounded in my ears. I took my eyes off the smile at the hair of the person next to me and turned to look at the face of the owner of the voice in bewilderment.

“Your face isn't good at all. If you can't take it, tell me." Hia Bank spoke up again.....the way he looked straight at me showed that he was worried...worried or uncomfortable about something.

Is he worried about me?....Why are you worried about me? I'm not anything at all.

Yes....I don't have anything.

I am nothing

“I think that's enough, guys. Let Kris go rest for a moment.” Hia Bank turned to address the fans. His actions and words confused me even more.

What kind of face am I making here?

And what about P'Singto? Does he care about me?....He says he loves me, does he care about me like Brother Bank does?

"We're going, Bank....please give it to me." Brother Singto's voice sounded louder, so I turned my head to look.

Right now, his expression was neutral....not showing any concern.

It didn't indicate that he wanted to protect and take care of me like he always did... His expression now looked cold, not at all like the expression when he told me he loved me.

“I'm sorry you had to meet like this,” that's all he said to me before turning and walking the other way... Brother Singto was already walking away.

As for me....I can only stare at the people who are walking away....every time.

It's correct to be like this...but why does it hurt when he doesn't choose to stand next to me?

Why am I so uncomfortable that I feel like I can't breathe?

Should I hold him back? Should I reach out my hand and hold him back?

That's it....I shouldn't have let him go.

I should have reached out and held his hand.

And tell him.....don't leave me.

“Chris...what are you going to do?” Someone's voice rang out along with a strong pull on the upper arm....Hia Bank, in a black gown with orange stripes, was making a serious expression at me. He had an expression on his face as if he was dissatisfied with something.

Are you dissatisfied with me?... Dissatisfied with what?

"Chris....you need to be conscious now."

One of Hia Bank's hands squeezed my arm tightly....so tight that I felt pain.

"Do you know, Chris, what you're going to do just now?" he asked me in a deep voice... I nodded in response.

Why don't I know?.....I know very well.

I knew I was about to reach out to P'Singto. To beg him to come back and be here with me.

"But I think you didn't realize it....because when you ran after the possessed man, you were about to reach out and pull his hand."

"This is right....I want to hold him back."

“But you shouldn't have done that, Chris. That day, you were the one who rejected his love. So why are you holding it back....when it's doing what you want?”

“Chris, I don't have feelings for Chris like an older brother and a younger brother.”

"I've always liked Chris....I really like him too."

“I want the two of us to be more than brothers....to be your boyfriend and girlfriend. I really love Chris.”

"But I don't love you like that."

“I love you like a brother. You must be my brother.”

“You should forget that crazy feeling. And then we are brothers and sisters again.”

"If you can't do it...I don't want to see you again."

The conversations that happened that day still echo in my head....every word is still clear as if it happened yesterday.

That's it....I was the one who told P'Singto to do that. I was the one who told him to forget his feelings for me and return to being the same old Singto brother.

And P'Singto can do what I want...but I'm the one who can't go back to the way I was before.

"Did you know that from the moment the Sing walked up to you, you kept staring at him and made a face like you were going to cry?" Banks said, both pulling and dragging me to follow him into the faculty building. before deciding to walk into the classroom at the end of the hallway

The entire room was empty...just the two of them.

“You sit here and wait. I'll go get Toph to take you home.” He pushed me to sit down on one of the chairs. Brother Bank raised one hand and squeezed my shoulder lightly.

"I'm going."

Just Brother Bank said he was going. Some feelings overflowed from my heart....I wanted him to stay with me.

I don't want to be here alone...

“Chris...what are you going to do?” Hia Bank asked in shock when I pulled him into a hug.

I didn't say anything... and he just stood where he was and let me bury my face in the dark gown.

Hia Bank rubbed his palm up and down my back like he was comforting me.

"You've cried enough, Chris....I'll be right here with you."

Just then.....I cried.

I never knew how important some people were to me until the day they walked away from me.

Even though I was the one who told him to forget his feelings for me...

Even though I was the one who told him to go back to acting the same way....go back to being brothers like before.

But just for him to actually go back and do that....my heart hurts.

Doesn't he really love me? Doesn't he want me like he said he did?

Why isn't he in pain?....why? So he smiled as if he didn't understand anything.

Shouldn't he be trying to pester me? He shouldn't give up so easily.

“I won't say that what you said to him at that time was wrong or right.” After only a moment, Hia Bank's voice rang out. I tried to stay calm and listen to what he was going to say.

"But I want you to know that I don't want to see you sad like this forever. So I want you to really think about it, Chris...how exactly do you feel about this thing right now."

“I don't know at all. I don't know how I feel right now.”

Hia Bank sighed heavily when he heard the answer. He pushed me away before looking at my face.

“Do you love me, Chris?”

I nodded immediately...Hia Bank is the older brother I'm closest to. I love him like a real older brother.

“So, do you love your lion brother?”

This time I didn't answer... so the person who asked raised one hand and ruffled my hair before revealing a small smile.

"If your answer is yes...then think about whether you love this creature the same way you love me."

Brother Bank walked out of the room. Leaving me to sit and find the answer to my question.

Do I love P'Singto?...I love you, I love you a lot too.

And do I love P'Singto the same way I love Hia Bank?....That's what I want to know.

If I had already said that Hia Bank is the older brother I'm closest to....I can talk to him about everything when I go anywhere with him. I will feel happier with someone else.

I like to be able to do this and that with Hia Bank.... because when I'm with him I feel like I have another brother.

As for Brother Singto....

P'Sing is another older brother that I love...when I'm with P'Sing. I always try to find things to annoy him because I like it when he pretends to be mad but laughs at my stupidity.

I love the smile he gives me...a smile that always makes my heart flutter.

I like it when he sits close to me....I like it when he holds my shoulder.

I like it when he holds hands...when he hugs or when he looks into my eyes with a strange expression that I don't understand.

I like being around him...I like being the only person he cares about.

I like who he is....and that's important.

I like myself the most when I'm with him....because he makes me happy like no one else in the world can.

Thinking at this point, I decided to run back to the university square again.... The sound of people was still noisy, no different from before, many people with many faces smiling and laughing happily at each other.

I turned left and right for a long time, looking for someone....but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find them.

“Where are you?” I mumbled softly to myself. And then walked out again. The fans' greetings rang out from time to time, but I didn't care... Right now, there was only one thing I wanted.

I have to apologize to Brother Singto. That I acted stupidly

I had to tell him that I had rejected him at that time... it was because of the short temper of someone who was afraid of losing a good brother.

Brother Singto will forgive me, right?....He hasn't really given up on me yet, has he?

“Who are you looking for?” someone asked. My legs immediately stopped. The girl couldn't have been more than fifteen years old. looking straight at me

“If you find Brother Singto I saw him go back a while ago.”

“Damn it,” I swore angrily when I heard those words but still decided to scan the area around me again, hoping that the words weren't true.

But I didn't even see his shadow.....Singto really wasn't there anymore.

In the end, I let him walk away from me without me having a chance to make amends.

"Try calling." The same small voice sounded again. I turned to look at her face before giving a slight nod of thanks.

That's why I'm such a fool.

I picked up my cell phone from my pants pocket. Scroll down to find P'Singto's phone number and quickly press call.

My legs moved in a hurry to get to a place where there was no noise.

My heart was pounding when the first tone rang...my brain was praying for the owner of the number to answer but no matter how much I waited, There was no response.

I'm so scared...scared that it will all be too late.

I'm afraid....I'm afraid that Brother Sing will really break up with me.

Finally, the signal was cut off. I lowered my phone and looked down and pressed call again.....The two long legs continued to walk like that until....

“Oh, I'm sorry.” I apologized when I realized that I had been careless and bumped into someone else. But when I looked up, my heart almost stopped.

Brother Singto.....

He was standing in front of me... those eyes were staring into mine.

And then my whole world stopped turning....I don't even know where I stand now.

I don't want to know anymore whether anyone is looking at the two of us or not.

Because right now, all I can feel is the warm touch of the man named Singto's embrace.

"I'm sorry I realized this late...Chris loves you too."