Hello, it's me.

This story is our first story. You can call it a beginner. Normally, I'm a fan of other people's novels and itching to write one. Until it came out like this

Many people have probably been in love with each other at some point. Whether it's love like a lover Friends or something else? Sure, it's beautiful, but Sometimes love can bring sadness as well. It can be a double-edged sword as well...

This story tells the story of "Yong", an ordinary boy who falls in love with his classmate named "Tawan". But Tawan is a popular and difficult person, making Yong himself not dare to. Tell him you love him plus the fact that Tawan is also a man. And what will Yong's first love be like?

Will Yang be able to confess her love to Tawan?

We have to follow each other.

If you're ready then

 let's go!!!

First love

Have you ever secretly liked someone but didn't dare tell them?

Because I'm embarrassed because I'm not good enough or whatever.

For me, the main reason is

I like the same gender.......

Damn, it's a very cruel feeling. Loving someone but not loving them makes you want to love your friend again. It shows signs of heartbreak and love even before you've even started flirting. Your parents find out, what else will you do? I don't want to think about it.

Why is it that first love is so satisfying?

Heck!

love friends

Friend is a man

A man who likes women

Damn it!

A mother's life is terrible.

Hello, my name is Yong. I am an ordinary fourth grade student. Studying is average. Bad sports, average looks, terrible human relations, so nowadays I have very few friends at all. I've lived like this for a long time without feeling that it was that bad, but when I met someone, I felt like my life was so terrible that I couldn't be with him.

It started from that moment.

At that time, the school organized an orientation camp for Mathayom 4 students for three days and two nights. At that time I complained in my heart that just because I was going to study, why did I have to come to a camp and do any activities that were difficult? Besides, I was also an old kid. It's just a few buildings that don't require three days and two nights to get to know each other, so I wasted all my time watching anime.

So I came to the camp with the utmost boredom. I don't have any friends either. My old friends from middle school had all moved to vocational school, causing me to stand silently in the middle of the crowd without talking to anyone amidst the many chattering noises of the people around me, even though in my heart I secretly thought that I wanted to have friends to talk to. Some, but not good at talking

I'm not close and I don't know how to talk. It's better to just stand still.

The teacher had me line up according to the room, which I was in the third science and math room. I had to line up for room three and meet friends who used to be in the same room in middle school. I'm happy that even though we're not that close, at least I've got someone to join the group.

I don't want to describe too much about the time of lining up because it was a time that I didn't pay much attention to at all. Sitting and yawning several times, but unable to collapse onto the back of the person in front of me again, had to bow my head slightly to avoid the light. Don't blame me, the people next to me were talking and not listening to the teacher.

A long time passed for me (but not for the teacher). It was finally time to let go of the line after sitting cross-legged until I felt dizzy. The first activity was held in the auditorium. Have them sit and listen to some kind of lecture. I can't remember anymore. It was both fun. Funny and hilarious at times, but overall, I'm asleep.

I probably didn't notice who the person in front of me was, but their face didn't look familiar. Is it a new kid?

White face, Tee Tee Tee Tee Tee Tee Tee Tee Tee

Strange

I've never seen a face with this tone before.

I want to know what kind of person you are.

Then I greeted according to the rules (which I only realized later that I normally never greet strangers before).

We talked for a while, and then during the lunch break, I used my old-school personality to take him to the cafeteria, deciding that people must be my friends (heh). There were other new kids at the table as well. We know each other in the row.

During breaks or activities, I rely on my old youthfulness to lead him this way and that, doing many things side by side. stay together Lying next to each other, I forgot that in the beginning I was lonely because I had no friends.

On the second day, I parted ways with Tawan (his name) and went to wash our faces and brush our teeth in different places. Then we sat in a row listening to the teacher continuously complain. He was always in front of me. He seemed very sleepy so he turned his head like a person who had just woken up. I lie down and rub my eyes at me. There was dust in my eyes. At that moment, I felt that These people act like they're at home. With people you're not close to?

It really surprised me. One thing that stood out to me was that his face was really funny.

During the night, play games in groups of five or ten people. Tawan and I were always stuck together, never separated. When we changed groups, the other hand always held it together, falling apart, being snatched. It was a real man's hand, but it was soft and smooth like a woman's hand, and the arm was completely white and smooth (it was white all the time). one)

And the memorable moment came when he had us gather in several circles and hug each other. During this time, he would say something to make us feel bad and then start remembering the merit of our parents and something like that. This sound of sobbing began to come. Turn to look at others What the fuck are you crying about? I didn't see any point in it, so I just listened to it and was indifferent.

Turn around and look at the person next to you, both the picture and sound are clear.

It's crying.

Mom is so cute.

What kind of person cries and looks so good?

But then I have to think again. Shouldn't we feel good when we see people crying?

Oh, I feel sorry for you.

After the camp ended, there was nothing to worry about, so I spent my life in front of the computer watching anime as usual until school started.

I debuted alone again, without friends. It's a good thing he still hangs around with me because of orientation. Oh, I forgot one more thing. Friends from the same class began to form groups into groups (I was in them too). Many of my friends felt really fascinated by it and wanted to invite them to join the group.

Which I think is good too. I myself would probably not be able to speak so little. Who wants to talk to me?

But it seems like he wants to be in The Neck group more. That group is full of new kids and old kids who might be destined for it. Well, if you want to stay, stay. It's just a pity that I met him first. Why didn't you come and be my friend? Missing the opportunity to be next to you, maybe I can secretly look at you from a distance?

Tawan is a cheerful person who is easy to get along with. It already has a lot of friends. Because of its sense of humor, many friends in the class like it. Moreover, it is good at studying. It can be said that it is almost perfect except for sports that it is not good at. It can be said that it makes many people near it happy, including me. A dark person like me has the sun to shine like this.

It gave me more encouragement to do more than I was aimless, so I secretly continued to love it. I didn't dare tell him because I was embarrassed about many things.

I don't feel that good all the time. Do you understand the feeling that I want to be with you but she doesn't want to? Just looking at it from afar is not enough, it's really not enough. Every time I feel disappointed that I'm not good enough or that I don't want to stay. Every time I'm with other people, they seem to smile and laugh more than with me.

I still chose to secretly look at it until one day it looked like I was in love with a woman. I was even more disappointed than before. I really hate that woman. I hate the fact that I was greeted and still didn't want to have a conversation even though she never did anything for me. Just the sun was paying attention, but I never hated it one bit.

The feeling became stronger when he decided to go out with that woman when he went out with his girlfriend. It hurt a lot. Why can't that person be me? How bad am I? I want to be able to take it for myself. But I think about it and wonder why I'm so dissatisfied. But I also think that I'm jealous of my friends or not, because I'm quite attached to friends. If I have friends, then when giving advice If it's important to other people, it's normal to feel hurt.

It took me a long time to think about it and I thought that it wasn't like my closest friend had never felt this much before. Is it a little unusual for us to hate each other on one side?

I don't like people I like as friends. Friends are not enough to be men anymore.

Am I gay? I was confused for many days. Trying to say that it's not and that this love will never work.

When he likes women...

I don't dare confess my love to him.

I'm afraid he'll say no.

I'm afraid he won't like me more than he already does.

I'm afraid it won't be the same.

Afraid of the eyes of those around you

So I chose to continue loving him quietly without letting him know or daring to show it because I was afraid he would find out that I secretly liked him.

You can't let go when you're happier than you used to be.

I'm happy to secretly like it.

Even though it's painful because you don't own it.

One Sunday afternoon, a month later, I was walking up to the school building. At that time, he and his girlfriend walked past. The smile that my boyfriend greeted me hit a feeling of jealousy in my heart that made me feel guilty.

Even though this person doesn't feel bad for me.

I hate him again. Want to steal, want to destroy love and take his girlfriend.

I'm such a bad mother for thinking like this.

Shouldn't we be happy that he's with the person he likes?

Thinking like that, several days later I decided to ignore everything about it anymore, whether it was Facebook, Line, or whatever. Don't even look at your face if it's not necessary. My seat was in science class. When I sat, I saw it at the table directly across from each other. I tried to turn in another direction, no matter how much I wanted to look.

At first it was painful.

But one day you'll have to give up.

When it's not fulfilled

It took several months to recover. I was glad to be able to look at him and my boyfriend without the same feelings remaining. Back then I felt like it was just the person I used to like.

Living life continuously until the end of Mathayom 6, I didn't feel anything special. That day, he traveled to another province without knowing that he was going. Today, I opened my Facebook page and found him already checked in. My heart is strangely empty.

It's like losing something that I haven't felt in a long time.

Do I still like him?

Going back to that time, I would probably say that I liked it.

No matter how much it hurts, today I know very well that telling my feelings makes me not have anything stuck in my heart anymore. When I heard that it was good and happy, I was happy about it too, as now I see that my career has gone. Beautiful I'm happy too.

No matter what gender We can all have love, whether it's the opposite gender or the same sex. I don't see it as abnormal anymore than I used to hate it before. Some yellow lines Various parodies When I met myself, it was not easy to be like him. If I could choose, many people would want to be the gender that society accepted. I remember that time and I would cry when I realized that I was the one I could be, but I thought about why. He's not a woman, but since it's already happened, it's better to not be able to change anything than to accept it than to lie and lie to yourself.