Hello Backhoe Chipper people or anyone who wanders in and reads this.

I wrote this story out of a moment of emotion, haha.

Hope it doesn't disappoint everyone.

Night Night (has nothing to do with saying goodnight haha)

#Pannit (Bang-Gal)

Around 10:00 p.m. on a Friday night, I was wandering on the side of the road. His right hand held the briefcase he always used, and the other held the suit he had picked up earlier in the evening. The closer you get to graduation, the less interesting your previous activities become. Just like everyone has to grow up. In a few months, I will graduate with a bachelor's degree and start working as I dreamed of when I was a kid. I really need to be an adult...

I stopped walking when I thought about that and looked down at the toes of my nice leather shoes that were now a little dusty. Before, I only had normal sneakers to run around in. Whatever you want to do, do as you please. But now 'almost' everything within me has begun to change. Maybe because of age, I don't know. Actually, deep down inside I didn't want to grow up. And I don't want anything to change.

My name is Kang Dong Ho. Before telling me what I am or am not, I would like to say that I am just a young man with thoughts and feelings. I am not a fierce young man like I am on the outside. In fact, my personality is quite contradictory and this creates problems. I've been around forever...for the rest of my life.

I am a person who is successful in education. Success in making friends

...but have never been successful in love

Two weeks ago, after working up the courage for a long time, I confessed to a boy about my feelings for him. A child who is still in high school and not yet of legal age. He is a small child, looks rather thin, has small shoulders. His face is not handsome enough to look like a movie star, but I think he is very cute and charming. He has double eyelids on only one eye, but That doesn't make the elements on his face lack perfection. I confessed my feelings to him and yes! I was rejected, which made me feel more pain than before because I confessed to him a second time and the results were the same both times.

It started last year when I met my younger brother by chance at the school bus stop not far from my university, but actually it was right next door. I looked at him for a long time, looking at his brightness and his group of friends who were also bright, but for me then (or even now)

There's nothing brighter than him because I've been so immersed in my stressful studies for so many years that I've forgotten the last time I felt this kind of uplifting feeling. I can't forget his face. Can't forget his smile. Until finally I came to know that the young man was the younger brother of a senior in the faculty and I finally contacted and talked with him.

After talking for three or four months, I told him I liked him and he politely rejected me. Thinking back to myself at that time, it seemed very embarrassing. I must have been too agitated and made him uncomfortable. It deserves to be rejected. So I try to contact him less and talk to him once a month or two. Years passed until two weeks ago I revealed my feelings to him one more time when we ran into each other in a bookstore. He rejected me and we haven't talked since.

Sigh...

Sighing thinking of it all, I was still standing on the side of the road. There are far fewer cars driving around. Ten minutes later, a car passed by, lights illuminating the entire road. That's when I saw someone sitting under a pillar about fifty meters away.

...Is it Daehwi?...

The first thought that popped up in my mind was that I didn't know who he was, but he was very similar to the younger brother I liked. He didn't see me because he was sitting there looking lost. Maybe it wasn't Daehwi. I must miss him too much, but...

“How can I misremember you?” I said. Let me go over the details of his appearance one more time. As I said before, he's charming. He's too charming to make me forget what he looks like and what his distinctive features are. And if that's Daehwi The question that arises is why is he sitting alone at this late hour?

I hurriedly walked towards it but after stepping a few meters I stopped. Should I go in? I'm not sure. I must have been annoying enough in the past and he probably didn't want to share his problems with me (if he really had any). I hesitated for a moment, then turned around. But then after turning around and walking, I stopped again. I missed him too much to be stubborn like this. Besides, how could I leave that child alone in the dark like this?

I may not have won his heart, but I'm not such a loser that I have to walk away from people who reject me.

He turned around again and stared at his younger brother sitting not far away. Half running, half walking straight. The more I walked, the more I felt like I could go faster. I picked up my pace with every step. The organs pumping blood into my body were working extra hard right now. I don't know if it was because I was running or because I was excited. I'll definitely meet Daehwi.

“Hello young man,” I greeted the absent-minded person. He raised his head, his eyes widening from shock before turning left and right as if searching for someone. His eyes were slightly bruised, the bags under his eyes swollen, and his eyes looked sad. Who was it that made him look so hurt?

“Hyung, how did you get here?” He tried to sound normal but still couldn't hide his trembling. He must be really sad, but I don't dare ask why.

“If you go out and do anything this late at night, you'll probably feel sick. Look, if you don't wear thick clothes, you'll die from the cold."

I think before sitting down next to each other, placing the briefcase on the floor, both hands hugging the suit from the tattoo shop. He didn't answer, I just laughed softly and rubbed my arm back and forth.

“Why are you dressed like this today? It looks strange.” He pointed at my neat white shirt and black leather jacket, pants, and polished leather shoes. Maybe he just didn't want to draw attention to my condition. He looked sad.

“Try it on and see with this.” I stopped and held up the suit in the plastic bag for him to see. "I'll wear it to work. Soon I'll be graduating."

He was silent again, this time staring at me. The corners of his mouth twitched slightly, but his eyes looked curious. He definitely had something on his mind, and I started to think that if I didn't know, I would probably be so uncomfortable that I wouldn't be able to close my eyes to sleep. Can I ask? Come on, I can't stop myself from worrying about him, and if I meet him and can't help ease his suffering, what the hell am I doing here?

“Is there a problem? You look sad,” I said. He stared at me. But we didn't make eye contact at all.

"You? Why do you keep calling me like I'm a girl?"

“Sorry,” I said, and the already quiet atmosphere became even quieter. I've made you uncomfortable.

I looked around and looked at the bushes. Looking at the buildings Music from the entertainment venue could be heard in the distance, colorful lights that were far away but bright enough to be seen from here. There hasn't been a moonrise in Seoul for a long time. It feels like as long as there hasn't been a single word between Daehwi and me. I turn to look at him.

He fell into a depressed state again. Looking down at his feet, his head dropped like a little puppy that had been abandoned by its mother. I don't like that he doesn't look bright. But what surprised me was that he still looked cute even in this gloomy time.

“Can I tell you?” he suddenly spoke up, breaking the silence. This time our eyes met, I couldn't answer but just nodded as if giving permission. “Today I met my ex-girlfriend by chance. He greeted me and started chatting. It was still as fun and happy as ever and he asked if it would be possible for the two of us to get back together again,” Daehwi recalled. He lowered his head again.

“So where is the problem?” I should have known that an A-grade student like Lee Dae Hwi wouldn't have any academic problems. How should I give advice? Because I know and he knows that I like him and am heartbroken from him. I'm not even sure how much longer I can stand hearing this.

"I still like him...but I don't want to go back again," he said lazily. “I didn't answer the question, he asked me to think about it first. That's why I'm sitting here." He said, smiling sadly.

"No, little brother...you..still like him and want to get back together with him."

I spoke softly, my words stabbing at my heart. It hurts more than I thought, but I'm trying to be a good 'older brother' and look at it from a more mature point of view (even though I don't feel like that).

"yes?"

“Daehwi, if you don't want to get back together with him, I mean 'don't want' at all, you won't just sit and think like this. You will firmly insist that you don't want to go back to that point again, but really, you are. You like him, is that right? Because you still have feelings and deep down you want to go back to your little brother. You're just afraid.

I guess it ended simply like he had to go study somewhere else.” I stopped when I saw him coughing. "Are you sick? Can't you see your shirt is too thin?" I took off my jacket and handed it to him.

"I don't..."

“Don't act like you're smart, kid. What are you up to? Even if you get hit by a little wind, you'll almost be blown away, let alone in weather like this.” He took my shirt and put it on without any further argument. That's when I realized how cold the air was. Luckily for me, I'm quite a thick guy with enough muscle and fat to keep me warm. I'm not worried about myself, I'm more worried about the child sitting next to me.

“Please continue talking,” Daehwi spoke up. Let me start reconsidering what I just said.

“I guess it ended simply, like he had to go study somewhere else or something like that. You're just afraid that if he comes back he'll leave again. You must be hurt again but... Daehwi, do you know how good it is when we feel good about someone and that person feels the same way about us?

Where else would you find someone like that if it weren't him? Actually, just because we end up with someone doesn't mean it will always end the same way. Don't be afraid.”

I couldn't completely understand his feelings just by saying the things I wish someone would have said to me when I was starting to feel afraid of my old relationship. But as everyone knows, I don't really have that kind of relationship. Not many people returned, some people did. I didn't feel anything anymore. That made me know that this little brother, deep inside, wanted to be with his ex-lover. He remained silent and didn't answer. I couldn't tell if he agreed with what I said or not, or maybe he had hate in his heart.

And then the atmosphere became calm again. The thin person under my leather jacket touched his small stomach. I couldn't hear his stomach rumbling, but I guessed it was definitely upset. I reached out and picked up my briefcase. There was a sandwich inside and banana flavored milk that I bought from a convenience store before I met him. He picked up both and handed them to his younger brother.

“You know I'm hungry, and there's food in that bag. Really scary,” Daehwi joked.

“Hahaha, there's something scarier in this bag than I thought. Besides, you're easy to look at and would die with such a clear expression. Eat your stomach first. Let's order food to eat. Okay?” He pretended to refuse again. "I'll take the babysitter. What do you want? Jajangmyeon, fried chicken, pizza."

“I'll take the pizza.” The child who looked sad suddenly brightened up. Or maybe I misunderstood in the past, maybe he was just hungry but forgot to take his wallet out.

I called to order a pizza, there was nothing that couldn't be delivered in South Korea, some even delivered 24 hours a day. At 10:00 p.m., which seems late in any country, it's not too late to order food to eat here. While waiting, I just sat and chatted. In both learning about elections, he asked me what it was like because he was not yet old enough to vote.

He was starting to cheer up. This is where I want to see the fact that people who look very cheerful appear most pitiful when they are sad and it is a shocking fact that most bright people are emotionally sensitive to the point of being fragile. Daehwi is like that. He is like a person who is always confident like there is nothing in this world that Lee Dae Hwi cannot conquer.

But it's wrong, he just keeps worrying that people will feel bad about what he does every time we talk. He was afraid that I would blame him. He is still very young and very nurturing. I want to take care of him. I still feel that way now.

“Tell me about it. When we talked, he said that he would tell me his love story. But I haven't told you yet,” Daehwi said. His mouth munched on a small sandwich.

“Do you want to listen? It's not fun.” Daehwi nodded, “Actually, I haven't had a boyfriend since high school.”

“Really?” he asked, looking shocked.

“Of course. In fact, I used to have a girlfriend who really meant it in person. It must have been my senior year of high school. You're still young, just entering high school, and full of confidence. Flirt with everyone who seems hopeful and then stick with one person, but it doesn't end well. I wouldn't stop because that person didn't feel for me the way people who love each other would feel. In the end, our relationship fell apart.

And I've been single since then."

“Didn't you say that you liked a junior in your third year?”

“Do you remember? Haha, well...after breaking up with my girlfriend in the first year, I liked someone else. But I just secretly like it. I feel scared about love. I don't know. At that time, I was afraid too. But in the third year I met a person as a second-year junior that I had never paid attention to before. One day, next to the school building, the boy suddenly had some sort of aura coming out of him.

I felt really good looking at him and talking to him. Confessing my love in a way that I never dared to do when I was in my second year of study and getting rejected, that's all.”

I have never felt for anyone the way I felt for that junior. I have forgotten what love feels like. What is falling in love? But after many years I met Daehwi. He made me feel once again exactly what my heart was pounding. But until I confessed my feelings, It came out the same as before. But I'm too old to blame fate or destiny. I may not be suitable for true love.

We were quiet for a while and finally the pizza we ordered was delivered. I finished paying and took the pizza box and handed it to my brother. The large white box, unlike any other famous pizza brand, belongs to a newly opened pizza shop nearby. It looks more American than Italian. I don't care

My younger brother also opened the box and immediately popped a piece of pizza into his mouth.

“Are you that hungry?” I asked.

“Hunger than you think I am,” he said, scrunching up the pepperoni on top of the pizza.

"I understand. The sauce is messy, so be careful."

“You're right,” Daehwi said, turning to look at me before handing me a pizza box to eat.

“What is it?” I asked as I was about to put one piece into my mouth.

"I still want...to get back together with my ex."

He said honestly that a little pizza stuck in my throat just now before he forced himself to swallow it. I turned around to look at him, just looking. He looked back and munched on the pizza. His eyes didn't look sad anymore. Maybe when my brother's duties ended he looked a lot happier. My role as temporary advisor was a success, I think.

“Good, it's good that you can accept your feelings,” I said and then looked away, not knowing why I suddenly wanted to see the moon in the sky even though I knew I would never see it. I swept my eyes here and there and admitted to myself that Actually, I have too much feelings for him to sit back and act like nothing happened. It became me who was saddened but tried my hardest not to show it.

“But I can't do this...it's about accepting my feelings. I can see that you're hurt by my situation but act like it's nothing.”

His blurted words made my heart almost stop. He could see that he was looking at me. It's so true. It's so true. I'm pretending to be normal even though I'm hurting. But what about it?

“So what is the importance of that?” I said.

"yes?"

“It doesn't matter how you feel because we didn't talk about you. We're talking about you, don't care how you feel. Just being interested in how you feel is enough.”

I wiped my hands clean before raising my right hand to caress his head. His hair color changed from blonde to grey. It made him look a little bigger when I looked closely. He stared at me again. How many times has he stared at me today? We were silent for another moment. The pizza boxes were passed around and picked up one piece at a time until there was only the last piece left. I gave it to him even though the younger brother acted like he was full and couldn't eat any more.

“When he came back and asked me to date him, I thought I had to do the same as you. Just pretend.” He said honestly but very softly. Probably afraid that it would sound bad and make me feel bad.

“How can we go together? You don't like me. And I'm just making up my mind. But Daehwi likes him, doesn't he? He likes you too, so why pretend he doesn't feel it?”

Once again, my words pierced my heart. Did he still not understand that for me what he wanted was the most important thing? I lowered my head and looked down at my dusty leather shoes, the dust clinging to them even more than before because Sitting on the side of the road for a long time, looking for a place to rest my eyes so as not to look at him. I'm beginning to think that I should go back, I should get out of here. If I stay longer, I might shed tears in front of my younger sibling.

My brother was handling the last slice of pizza, making a mess on the edge of his mouth. I bent over to pick up my briefcase again. Inside, he picked up two tissues and carefully wiped up the messy sauce. Before he could take the two tissues and wipe them himself, I gently rubbed his head again. He smiled back. He's really adorable. Sometimes I think about how much I could take care of him if he were mine. Maybe I couldn't do it at all.

The sky darkened...there was no more music from the entertainment venue. This strange atmosphere makes me confused. What should I tell him? Or should I not say anything? I feel like I want to be someone in his life, an older brother, an acquaintance, an old friend. But after a while, I feel like I don't want to be anything at all. I don't want to be in His life It's probably because of me.

I still looked at his face and felt shaken.

I really want to say what I think of him. I want to confess for the third time...

Unfortunately, I suddenly realized why I was doing that. He had someone in mind, and if I had just a chance, Daehwi wouldn't have rejected me twice. This stupid idea was dismissed.

“Okay, now that you've finished eating, you can go home,” I said, then stood up and bent down to pick up my briefcase and arrange the suitcase I was carrying in my normal position.

"Your jacket, I'll take it off..."

"Put it on, or you'll freeze to death. The next day, when we meet, you can bring it back."

I just said that and actually I meant to give it to him. There was something that made me feel like I would never see Daehwi again. Maybe it was the feeling that I didn't want to have anything to do with this little brother again. It can be.

He nodded and got up as well. We both said goodbye Daehwi turned and prepared to take a step, but I stopped him by the arm. Pulled in until close to the body And then he hugged his younger brother forcefully, yes. I'm the one who just said that I don't want anything to do with Lee Dae Hwi anymore and I just said that I won't confess my feelings to him for the third time but I'm hugging him. hugging him

I hugged him tightly like I didn't want him to let me go. I was really surprised that Daehwi pulled me away. He hugged and comforted me and rubbed my back. It's true that he knew, he knew my feelings very well.

“Take care of yourself,” I said in a soft whisper. It was me who looked sadder than before from my first intention to comfort him. give him advice Turns out I'm the one with the problem. Lee Dae Hwi is fine. He was as bright as usual. As for Kang Dong Ho?

I pulled away and we waved goodbye once more before I bent down to pick up the things that had fallen on the floor as I pulled Daehwi into a hug as he walked up the hill. I saw his thin back getting farther and farther away until finally it was out of sight.

The wind blew cold air into my body once again. I almost forgot how cold it was outside. Looking up at the dark sky, he saw nothing as he had always done. I moved my eyes elsewhere. If I don't get to see the moon tonight or any night in the future, I'll look at these trailing lights instead.

I remember the feeling of meeting Daehwi under the lamppost this time. I remember the wind that only blew the coldness towards me. But it doesn't bring any romance to remember the leather shoes you wore and the pizza.

Ah...I sighed loudly to myself. I don't like him at all.

I love him...

Please give love to

One-Shot

This is ours 55555

I suddenly got up at almost 2:00 a.m. last night. I really wanted to get dressed. I don't know why.

So it turned out like this. Please enjoy Night Night.

#pannit #pannioa