Genre:            Semi-POV, Drama

Characters:    Jaejin, Seunghyun, Minhwan

Rating:           PG-13

In this matter, the writer has no mercy on anyone, not even himself. ಠ⌣ಠ

“We have been together for almost ten years. I only realized that I fell in love with you today, Seunghyun."

“We have been together for almost ten years. I want Minhwan to know what I think of him.”

SeungJae?

No, this is SeungMin fanfic. 

IT’SBEEN OVER 10 YEARS, BUT I MET YOU 8 YEARS AGO.

At first, I thought it was just feelings between an older brother and younger brother.

With Seunghyun...

I've been worried about him since the first day he became the 5th member, replacing Won Bin.

Until today, I still want Seunghyun to know that This hyung will always be by his side.

As...

'Hyung, I think I deserve to be one of the five.

Treasures

Really'

'Why do you say that?'

'I'm under pressure. The fans don't even know where I'm from. What's good about me? Many people still find fault with me. Many people still don't accept me.'

'I believe you can prove to them your abilities.'

'Hyung, do you think so?'

'If I see your talent Other people must see it too. But it's up to you to do your best. Will you improve yourself, train hard, and then erase those insults?'

Song Seunghyun is the new maknae of the group. At the time, he was only 16 years old. Seunghyun was very sensitive. I don't know how many times when he first joined the group he secretly cried in the bathroom in the middle of the night, but we all witnessed his actions. Jonghyun hyung assigned me the responsibility of supporting Seunghyun (more than anyone else). As his roommate, I was okay with that because that's what a good older brother must do.

In normal times, Seunghyun is the cheerful maknae who makes everyone laugh, from the stylists to the producers of the reality shows he works with. But during rehearsals or when we perform on stage, He would become a different person from Seunghyun at another time in the early evening. He would quickly eat dinner and then hide in his room to practice his guitar.

Seunghyun was more determined than anyone in the group, I dare to admit. We all know this truth. And it would be great if our fans knew too...he might have more proud memories of his debut.

“Hyung, have you seen Seunghyun?” Minhwan, who was walking around the entire floor, asked Jaejin.

“Huh, no.”

“Where has he gone? Let's make an appointment for this time.” Minari started to get annoyed.

“Have you checked in the cabinet over there yet?”

“Huh?”

“In case he hides in there. Just like always,” Jaejin said with a smile.

It wasn't unusual for Minhwan to follow Jaejin's advice because if there was a closet or a small room, There will always be Lord Songsari hiding.

Creak...

“Annyeong”

“Haha, really.” Minari laughed at the sight before him.

Seunghyun had been hiding here for several minutes. He was extremely upset when his own victim, Minhwan, found out... Because of Jaejin

“Jaejin hyung, how could you do this to me?”

“Oh, I'm just guessing. that you might be in there.”

"You made me stop teasing Minal."

Jaejin felt an odd tone of complaint in that sentence.

“Look, Seunghyun, you're wasting a lot of time doing this, you know? Look, how many minutes has it been?” Minhwan scolded his friend.

“Oh, I want to fight.” Seunghyun reassured the little man by rubbing his head on Minari's shoulder.

One person in the practice room began to feel like he was too much...

The other two people who seemed to be meeting to do something together went to another corner of the room and Seunghyun reached out and picked up two acoustic guitars.

An hour passed... All this time Jaejin had to practice his bass while witnessing the maknae line's guitar discussion.

'I don't see the need to be interested. It's just Seunghyun and Minal playing with each other...intimately.'

'This is normal for them.'

'Ah, but why do I feel delayed?'

“Hyung, where has Minari gone?” a familiar voice asked Jaejin.

“Minhwan isn't feeling well. I saw that he had diarrhea."

“What? Really! And how many days has this been here?”

“Well, since yesterday. I don't know what I ate.”

"So, has he taken any medicine yet? Is there enough mineral salt or carbon left in the house?"

Seunghyun bombarded Jaejin with questions as if he were sick himself.

"Uh, I think you'd better call and ask him yourself, wouldn't you?"

“Oh, that's true.”

Then this tall junior walked out of the room and picked up the phone.

'Why with me? You don't see me showing any concern like this.'

One evening, I overheard Seunghyun and Minhwan arguing over something that was definitely about guitar because their voices sounded very tense. Minhwan shouted a harsh word out loud. I had never seen him this angry before. And it was because they were now alone in the music practice room together with the soundproof walls that prevented this quarrel from being heard by anyone else.

But coincidentally, I was just about to open the door into that room...

“Who do you think you are, huh?”

“We have been friends since forever. Why can't I warn you?”

“This is my life. What I will do and who I will love is my business. I can handle it myself.”

“Are you sure? that in the end it will not be the same as before.”

“So what did you bring to be confident? That it will end the same way, Seunghyun.”

Then the voice was silent for a moment... followed by a thump. At one point I thought it was the sound of a fist hitting a certain point on the face. But it wasn't long before I learned the true answer to that voice.

Seunghyun opened the door so quickly that I didn't have time to hide. His face had a faint bruise on the right corner of his mouth. There was blood on the lips. His eyes widened when he saw me standing in front of the door.

“What are you two arguing about?” I observed Seunghyun's expression. You could see that he didn't want to answer this question.

“Hyung, don't tell anyone about what happened just now, I beg you.”

Then he hurriedly walked away...

Personally, I don't think it would be good to even think about going into that room again.

Two days later, I received a message from one of the band members.

'Hyung, let's go out for drinks today.'

Yes, Seunghyun sent me this message.

At the liquor store

At first, we each ordered a bottle of soju and each person drank it. Talk about general things I knew that when Seunghyun invited me, he must have something to discuss. Which I can guess what it is.

The clock said 11:30 p.m. and the two of us sat still. Drifting, his eyes stared at the four empty soju bottles on the table. And so far the main topic of the day still hasn't come out of the mouths of the people who invited them to drink.

Maybe...Seunghyun might just want to drink today. But no friends came. So he invited me

And if it wasn't me, it would probably be Minhwan sitting here.

“Hyung, why are the people we are worried about? He never saw our concern.”

And finally, he began to open up about the issue.

'I also want to ask you this question, Seunghyun.' This was the only answer that came to mind.

“And how important do you think you are to him? He must come and see.”

I think I'm insulting myself...

Seunghyun was quiet. At this time neither he nor I were fully conscious as the two bottles of soju were slowly being absorbed into the bloodstream. Soon we should be completely drunk.

“The other day, when I got punched in the face by Minhwan...”

I accidentally stared at Seunghyun as if urging him to continue.

"...I spoke badly of him."

Anyone who was at the events of that day and believed your words today would be very stupid. Minhwan is a kind-hearted person. And very calm, he would never punch anyone in the face just because of a word.

“Hyung, let's go for a walk.”

The air this night was not warm at all, but it was good that the alcohol made us less frightened by the cold wind that kept blowing at our bodies. Seunghyun walked two steps ahead of me. Head towards the park not too far from here.

We stopped to rest on a bench in the park. There was no one there. The darkness in front of us made me feel a bit frightened, but the lamppost and public telephone booth next to it were enough to provide some light. live

I turned to look at Seunghyun's face. His cheeks were quite rosy. His lips were slightly dry and flaky from the cold weather and he always forgot to apply lip balm all the time, his eyes still floating because of his symptoms. Drunk, staring aimlessly ahead, I could tell he was very uncomfortable because the look in his eyes now was the same as Song Seunghyun's eyes from eight years ago.

Of course I remember it.

I remember everything about this man.

“I don't know what you're worried about, Seunghyun.”

As he turned to me, the image of a 16-year-old Seunghyun who needed encouragement to fight off various scandals appeared in front of me like a double image.

I know for one thing that the problem in Seunghyun's heart has now gone to another level. It's the suffering of people who grow up... It's the suffering of people who are in love.

“Hyung”

“I have something I would like to ask.”

“If there's anything I can help you with, just tell me.”

“Kiss me please.”

My face immediately heated up when I first heard that sentence. I wanted to rush in and give him what I had always wanted, but a side of me suddenly snapped to myself. Seunghyun said that because he had so little awareness that he couldn't control his thoughts and words.

He probably didn't think it was me.

He probably thought that the person sitting next to him was Choi Minhwan.

Seunghyun continued to stare at me, the pain shown on his face, the gloomy look in his eyes from before was changed to a pleading look.

“Can you kiss me, Jaejin hyung?”

Did he really say my name? Does he even know? That the person sitting here is me

"okay"

Too much to think about whether what I had done was selfish or not, I moved closer to the figure sitting next to me. Giving the kiss he thought he might desire to Seunghyun

My heart beats faster when another person wraps his arms around me.

We are very close now. More than any time in the past eight years...

'I'm sorry, Seunghyun. for not refusing your request'

'I'm sorry, I did this even though I knew you had someone else in mind.'

We slowly separated our lips from each other and Seunghyun looked at me with the warmest eyes he had ever seen.

"Hyung, are you cold? Let's go inside."

After speaking, one of my hands was taken and led to that public telephone booth...

“Wow, it's gotten a lot warmer.”

As it was a nearly closed room, the heat from the dimly lit incandescent bulbs and the warmth from the bodies of two people standing so close to each other that they could feel each other's breath, I felt like it was... All this happened was a dream.

“Hyung, I don't know until the morning...”

I don't want to hear anything about the future from now on. I just want to absorb every feeling in the present. Every second that the two of us are together

“Let's not even talk about it.”

After we looked at each other for a while He leaned down and kissed me again.

I don't know. None of us know the cause of what we're doing and we don't know what the consequences will be.

“Jaejin, will it be okay if I…”

His two hands moved lower and lower, I backed up a little. Now everything was about to go too far...

As soon as he nodded Seunghyun then started making memories that I will never forget.

IT’SBEEN OVER 10 YEARS, BUT YOU STILL NEVER KNOW WHAT I FEEL INSIDE.

In the morning of the next day...

I entered the building almost half an hour late and Seunghyun arrived here on time. Luckily today we don't have any queues to go anywhere.

The other members didn't know what had happened between me and Seunghyun but Today, all day, he and I hardly looked at each other.

“The weather is nice today, Jaejin hyung.”

Is this how people who have had sex greet each other for the first time in three days?

“Ah, y--”

“Oh, Seunghyun, are you here?”

Should I be happy or saddened by the interruption of a third person into our conversation?

"Minal, I'm sorry, I just stopped by to get something here."

"It's okay. Let's go. The shop will be full."

Minhwan turned to greet me with a few words, at which time my ears were ringing until I couldn't hear anything. Seunghyun looked at me in his eyes as if he was saying he was sorry. But I don't see it clearly.

Because of the tears in my eyes...it helped me not have to endure the harrowing sight in front of me. And it was like a wall that prevented me from having to make direct eye contact with him.

'Why are we this stupid, Lee Jae Jin?'

“Seunghyun, you haven't really talked to Jaejin hyung lately.”

“Hm, did you just think about it? Makee, I also greet him.”

"I don't know. I think hyung seems sad lately."

Seunghyun knew in his heart what he had done. He didn't think that last night was anything to remember.

Actions that are not based on love

“He probably isn't sad because I didn't talk to him.”

“Oh, that's right, really.”

Minhwan then knew that Seunghyun was purposely avoiding Jaejin but he didn't ask why.

“I said you did this. Hyung, he's really upset. Do you know how much he cares for you?”

“How much?”

“Since you joined the group, Jae Jin hyung has been the one who was worried about everything regarding you, from anti-fans to your health, and when you had surgery. Even had wisdom teeth removed. Hyung, he searched all over for information on side effects. He once told me that you were stressed. You're really afraid that you'll be the weak point of the group. I know this because I'm your friend.

But Jaejin hyung really cares for you, Seunghyun. Letting me explain all day won't do it all.”

Is it that much? And why didn't Seunghyun ever know?

'Hyung, why are the people we are worried about? He never saw our concern.'

'And how important do you think you are to him that he has to see this?'

“Minal, do you know how much I care about you?”

The person in question stared blankly at him.

“Seunghyun, I think I told you many times. That it's impossible between you and me.”

“Is it because I told you too late?”

“Be it slow or fast, it doesn't matter. I've known you since high school. You're my best friend. Always and forever.”

“Min Hwan”

“Hmm”

“Thank you for being honest.”

Seunghyun and Minhwan were very close and they were too mature to be silly with each other. Even Seunghyun knew that he had to come to terms with this love that didn't turn out as expected.

“You should love someone who truly loves you.”

“Go apologize to him.”

I know it's stupid. But until now, I still can't tell myself to stop crying.

In spite of everything that happened I can choose to do the opposite.

But I didn't do it...

I'm selfish.

'If that day we say just one word "no"

The Seunghyun who has now changed like a different person will no longer exist.'

“Jaejin... hyung.”

I can hardly believe my ears. The person walking towards me right now is him...

I couldn't turn around and look him in the eye. I didn't want him to see how bad I looked right now.

Whether both outside and inside...

“Hyung, I just came to apologize.”

“What are you apologizing to me for?”

"That I ignore I don't know how to act after we…”

“It's okay.” I tried to sound as normal as possible. Hold back every sob from escaping for others to hear.

“Jaejin hyung, can you please turn around and talk?”

Seunghyun grabbed the back of my shoulders and turned me around to face him.

I thought that as soon as he saw me he would show a pitiful expression.

But no, Seunghyun reached out both his hands to gently cup my face...

The touch of his hand now felt the same as it did last night.

When we kiss

“Can I ask you something?”

“What?” I couldn't stop a single tear from falling from the corner of my right eye. Seunghyun's thumb gently wiped it away.

“Hyung, what do you think of me?”

Up until this point, there probably wasn't anything more for me to lose than this...

My body, he's got it.

My heart...I gave it all to Seunghyun from the first time we knew each other.

Is there anything left?

It's just that he doesn't know yet.

“I love you, Seunghyun.”

- finish -

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