MISSING YOU

DONGHAN x KENTA

Because you are my happiness

J

P.S. The content is motivated by song lyrics.

missingyou

of

BTOB

You should listen to the song along with reading the content.

Thank you.

'Kenta-hyung, I like you.' Even though his voice still had a tone of being truthful, I knew that he would definitely not lie to me.

After I fully graduated as a graduate, it was about 2 years ago. Many good things happened within the walls of this university. 'Kim Dong Han' is the person who made those good things happen to me.

I don't know when he started playing a role in my life.

I didn't know him even though he was a younger sibling from the same school.

But he knows me in many ways: my favorite colors, my favorite foods, my favorite songs, my favorite artists, he knows what I like. I don't like anything, he knows my life time.

Walking streets full of people is something I always avoid, but today that was not the case.

I return to this walking street again and again. The people around me are no longer a concern for me. My language is stronger than before because I had a good teacher.

Dong Han always found free time to teach me languages. His sacrifice made it possible for me to go about my daily life without much difficulty.

The music was pumped through the loudspeakers. The place was filled with many different groups of dancers who often came out to show off their skills to passersby. It was a place. that is our starting point

That day is a day where no matter where you look you will meet many people, 'Christmas, the season of celebration'. I can only hope that Santa will quickly send me the gift of tranquility.

I decided to take the route that was closest to my dorm.

‘Today is like every other day.’ This street was always full of people. So it made me choose to walk around a little further. To avoid these chaos on weekdays

The music that came out regularly and the familiar melody made me choose to walk towards the source of those sounds.

'That guy is so handsome'

The fingers pointed out from my side and shot straight towards the center. It's a sight that you can often see in this place. 'Cover dancing' is something that can get people screaming, 'Do you think the same as me?'

Before I knew it, I was in a place where I could clearly see the dancers.

“Kenta-san!” One of the dancers said his name and waved his hand at me. Did those friendly faces really give me that?

There is nothing behind or beside..

I didn't see anyone waving back at him. He must have greeted me.

I decided to wave back at him but with a look full of doubt. So he walked straight towards me, those two feet already stopping in front of me.

"Yes, that's what I'm calling you."

"Nice to see you here. Don't go anywhere yet."

"I'll take my bag first. Don't go anywhere."

After saying that, he hurriedly ran back to pick up his bag and said goodbye to the friends who had come with him from the beginning. 'Uh.. So why do I have to stand and wait for him?'

I turned around before those thoughts were finished. Each step I took was towards a destination not far from this place, the dormitory. I should hurry back.

“Brother Kenta, I told you to wait a moment.” My backpack was later carried back to the owner of the voice who was holding his knee.

'What is it that I don't know?' I could only think in my heart.

“I didn't expect that today I would meet my older brother who always agreed to walk around. Why did you walk back this way today?”

“I'm sorry I don't know who you are but right now... Are you alright?” I turned around and looked at the other person who was just taking in the oxygen from his lungs like he would never be able to breathe again. I slowly leaned down towards the other person.

“Are you worried about me?” His smile appeared after those words ended. The eyes that looked up Filled with sparkles, it looks very bright.

“I'm worried, that's true, but who are you and why did you run after me? Do we know each other?”

“You don't know me, but I know you. My name is Dong Han. First year, same group, same university.” He began to straighten up after breathing heavily… All I know is that if we talked for a long time, my neck would definitely get sore.

"Young member of the group"

“I'm also a freshman at your school, don't you remember?”

"Really? Really?"

“Um! I remember you clearly. Let's meet again.” People always like to talk with people who smile all the time, right? It makes us feel more comfortable and brave to talk to. With this kid, I like it.

“But I'm really sorry, I don't remember much. Besides, it's been almost two years since I graduated. I'm really sorry, Donghan."

“I don't think there's much need to think about it. We're just getting to know each other again, Brother Kenta. I, Dong Han, study in the same high school, same faculty, from the same school, by the way.”

“Another thing?”

"Actually, I don't know if I should tell you or not. I live in the same dormitory as you."

“Are you a stalker?” I carefully backed away from him. I've been walking and talking to someone for I don't know how many minutes now. Can I really trust this person?

"Actually, I just found out when I moved here. When I first saw it, I felt like it was so good to see you again."

“From today on, can we walk back to the dorm together?”

"What? We just got to know each other. All we know is names."

“I am in room 406. I live alone.”

"Then why did you tell me?"

"Well, I said I only knew the name, so I told you the room number."

Even though I don't really understand this kind of action, it probably doesn't have any harm. It's just an ordinary first-year student.

As I walked near him, I had no doubt that wherever I saw him, there were always people surrounding him. He was tall. Including his appearance is not ordinary at all, his smile helps to make him look even more charming.

I began to analyze the shape. Looks until it was concluded that what he was The definition that suits him is 'handsome', I think it's this word.

We kept walking together and finally reached my destination. The person next to me started searching for something in his bag. Finally, a cell phone was taken out.

He began to scan his fingerprint to unlock the screen. Pressing the phone icon, those actions stopped in front of me.

“Can I please have your number?” How can people ask for the number of someone they've just met for a few minutes so quickly?

“I want to talk to you and see you often. I think you can give it to the younger members of the faculty to use as advice.”

"Why don't we go and ask other seniors in the group? Why does it have to be seniors?"

"The person I like to talk to is an older brother. How are other people similar?"

“..." My phone number was quickly typed into the phone of the child in front of me. Seriously, I didn't act right. No one has ever asked for my number in such a simple way. In order to exchange numbers, there must be a business or something important. So I chose to let him go. It wouldn't do any harm, right? Is that right? Yes or no? Sigh..

Let's just say let's go. There's probably nothing.

"Line, you use this number, right? I can add you right away, right?" Even though his mouth was tense all the time, his hands never stopped doing their job.

He saved my number using an icon instead of the name that looked like a celebration. I don't know what that means, but his expression right now shows the utmost joy. This gesture probably doesn't mean anything bad to you, right kid?

My phone rang with a strange number. I hung up immediately when I didn't see that this number had ever been saved on the device, but the expression of the person next to me made me know what he was going to say.

'That's my number'

“That's my number.”

“I called you because you would know that this is my number so that in the future you wouldn't disconnect my call again. Don't forget to record it."

"Oh, I'll record it."

“As for LINE, I've already added you. If I say hello to you, will you reply?” The pleading look in your eyes indicates that I probably can't refuse it.

"If you don't answer, it's not right."

"Just kidding, I'll reply."

After the conversation ended, both of our feet stopped. Right in front of me was the door to my room. It seems like he probably already knew.

“Please go into your room, I'm just going to walk you. If you enter the room immediately, I will go back to the room immediately.”

"Then let's go into the room first."

"Okay, see you later."

The last picture before the door closed, Dong Han was still standing and waving at me. He tried to lean his way through the narrower and narrower doorway, and it finally closed.

I saw his smile from the first time we entered until the moment our barrier closed.

That night, I couldn't think of anything else. The thing that remained in my head was 'Kim Dong Han'. The image that remained in my mind's eye was 'Kim Dong Han' as if I had let him. It has influenced me since the first day we met.

'Dong Han: Sweet dreams, Kenta-hyung.'

My long day was ended with just a few words from 'Kim Dong Han'.

current

That is the story of the first time I met him.

The place of memories always takes me back to the times when the two of us were happy together.

Every place is filled with memories. No matter which direction my eyes sweep, images of events in those places always appear endlessly. Every emotion and feeling makes me miss him.

People who were sleeping beneath this peaceful ground. 'Dong Han, I miss you so much'

From the first day we met, every day after that, Dong Han was always in my sight.

Time slowly passed from him being in Year 1 until he was in Year 2, from me being in Year 2. 3 Until this is my last year Even if a year passes He is he all day long.

The feelings he expressed to me never diminished. It kept increasing. Back then, we both knew what our status was: 'brothers'. We were never anything more than that.

Even though the action had moved to another state for a long time, we never clearly talked about what we were doing. Both of us let time pass by. We don't care about the state we are in. Dong Han moved into the same room as me during our 4th year. Our happiness increased with time. It increased.. 'Every second'

10:30 p.m.

My time at university was over, I had graduated and was waiting to receive my degree. During that time it was time for me to come home and visit.

I didn't know that things were going to change forever after this story.

‘My life is incomplete

It's missingyou’

The first part of my phone's ringtone rang. This song was the song I chose to use just for him alone.

“What do you say? Is Dong Han lonely? Haha.”

'I'm lonely. I'm not lonely. I miss you more. When will you come back?'

“I just arrived, how can I go back for another couple of days?”

'Can I go see you? I really want to go on a trip.'

"Come or not? You can come. I already have a car to drive. What are you afraid of?"

'Then you answer one question for me first. Once you've answered it, I'll go look for it.'

“What is it, you ask?”

'Kenta-hyung, I really like you. It's been a long time since I've liked you.'

'I'm your girlfriend. I don't want to continue having the status of being just siblings. Can you be mine in both status and actions?' I just realized that I want to be an owner or something. Doesn't he know how long I've been waiting for this word?

“Do you have to agree? Its actions should already be clear.”

'I want to hear this. You're my girlfriend.'

"Yes, we are lovers now."

'Wait for me there, I'll come find you right away. I want to hug my boyfriend so bad, please wait for me'

"Thank you for coming to see me. I just want to thank the people who made my life experience only good things."

'I love you...'

The voice cut off as soon as he finished speaking. His tone made me excited as well. ‘Have you ever been able to imagine his expression just from his voice?’ The image of him being happy was the first thing I thought of after listening to his voice.

Unfortunately, I never got to see those pictures once.

The next morning, I received a call from the foundation office that the car that Donghan was driving towards my house had had a serious accident causing him to leave us immediately at the scene.

It wasn't until I could clearly see the face of the person who was my boyfriend, not at all... I haven't called him my boyfriend yet.

My eyes overflowed with clear water in them, a feeling that couldn't be explained. Everything was mixed up and all I could feel was emptiness. My everything is with him, but now he's not here. The person who is everything to me He's not there anymore...

current

The moment of coming to terms with it was the longest. I often remember his smile when I closed my eyes. His voice still echoes in my ears.

'Do you like this restaurant? Let's go next time.

Please smile a little.

I like it when you smile.

No, don't cry.'

Not only the still warm voice, those warm touches, those atmospheres made me choose to deceive myself that he was always with me.

But then I started to think, 'Dong Han, you probably don't want me to be like this, right?'

The days revolve without stopping.

Right now I have a job in a position that isn't very big. At the end of the month I survive on instant noodles, no different from when I was still studying. The work that comes at me every day makes me think. I think I can forget the story of that time and I no longer mourn his passing.

'It's just something I keep fooling myself about'

The pressure from work and the boss's complaints and scoldings occur every day. I could only smile against those criticisms.

'Dong Han, do you know that you smile a lot more often now than before?

Why don't you come back to me? Isn't it the smile you like?

If it's something you like, why don't you come back to it?

It's been 2 years. I miss you. You probably do too, right?...'

Kenta's eyes looked more vacant than ever before, no matter how much the noise of the people around him had affected his mind these past two years, they didn't even drown out Kim Dongha's voice. that it could echo in his mind

He misses Dong Han. No matter how hard he tried not to dwell on that moment, Those feelings turned into a wall that was built up..

It locked him inside. He couldn't leave that wall at all. He could never do it…

Every place is etched with many memories of a young boy's smile, voice, and touch. Those things never fade away.

When he is tired from work The chat room between him and Dong Han was always open.

The green message box is one of two things you can find in this chat room. It's a 'daily diary' that is written in the hope that the person you're chatting with will be able to read the pictures on certain days. They all come and go together. 'I passed this shop again'

A picture full of smiles It still smiles at him no matter how much time has passed. Kenta's feelings are the same…

The sound of branches rustling together and leaves falling to the ground, one after another, the sun that is about to set on the horizon. The shady atmosphere, the breeze blowing across his skin and the cool breeze hitting his body will always help you feel relaxed. The sound of all kinds of birds flying back to their nests.

Kenta was surrounded by the sounds and atmosphere of nature. He slowly closed his eyes little by little. The sounds around us became progressively clearer. It slowly got louder and louder. Until the end..

'Dong Han, I miss you so much'

I spent the whole day thinking about you.

Even though it's been a year, I still miss you.

I just live life through it.

I miss you so much. I miss you..”

To 아직도 내 마음속엔 너

The person who is still in my heart