When we first met, you told me You will be with me forever

But I replied to you that forever doesn't exist.

And forever it will not be true like I said. Because you left me a long time ago

-Thank you theme-

O W E N TM.

What is the scariest thing for you?

For me, it's 'disappointment'.

It's not that I never had my hopes fulfilled. Because before I was disappointed, I was fulfilled.

My lazy life It might be boring for many people, but for me, I'm starting to get used to it. No, I've been used to it for a long time. Just because I'm alone doesn't mean I don't want someone in my life. I spend my life just thinking each day about how to get through the day without having to hurt others.

I live in darkness in my own thoughts. I became depressed when I returned to live alone in the big house. My life is like a waiting shadow. The sun came to shine So where is my sun?

As I sat waiting at the table for my dear friend D.O. In the flower arch behind the art building My friend came to see Jongin hyung who is his girlfriend. Jongin hyung is a good-natured, playful person. I'm quite close to him as well. and many of his friends that I know And one of them is senior Park Chanyeol.

The person who made my dark world brighter. The person who makes me not feel alone anymore. Because he is my sun

He and I know each other as friends of a friend's boyfriend. He always comes to talk to me when he sees me alone. I set up my walls so high that no one dared to come in, but Park Chanyeol was brave. He dared to tear down my walls without caring about my world. He finally brought light into my life.

I became bright again because of Park Chanyeol.

From the fact that I never had my heart beating back at anyone, he was the first person who made me like that. He made me smile and laugh with my phone like a crazy person. He made me look up to him when I couldn't find him at school. He makes my life more colorful. Liven up We become closer every day. So much so that his friends think we're already dating.

And I thought until that point. When I was uncomfortable, I vented to him and he was a great advisor to me. He has mature thoughts. And I like him the way he is.

We finally decided to date. He walked me to the bus stop every day and would sit and play with me until the bus came. My life is getting brighter and brighter. Chanyeol hyung never leaves me feeling alone. When school ended, I always called him every day and would sit and wait for him in front of the room because he was in Mathayom 5 and finished later than a Mathayom 3 student like me.

He always smiles when he sees me sitting and waiting like this. We are a couple that many people feel envious of. We've never argued since we've been together. If he has free time, Chanyeol will always come to see me. Or call me It's like this every day.

Chanyeol hyung doesn't like idiots and luckily I don't like idiots either, so we get along well because we have similar personalities. I love freedom, I don't like people bothering me too much. And Chanyeol is the same.

But it seems like my personality has changed. I became a crybaby. Because of Park Chanyeol alone I've never been stupid with anyone. Chanyeol is the first. If I don't meet him and talk to Ning Ning Senior Wendy, the school star who is his ex-girlfriend, wouldn't have become such an idiot. But it's strange that Chanyeol hyung agrees with someone like me.

That made me become more stupid and jealous day by day, but I never yelled at him. I was just disappointed with myself and in the end I recovered. Just being with him From never quarreling at all, we quarreled sometimes because of my own jealousy. But we always get back to each other. As I said, Park Chanyeol doesn't like idiots.

We lost contact for two full months. Because of the big semester break I tried to contact him every day until finally he turned off the phone. I'm like a crazy person. I kept thinking that he wouldn't like the change in my personality. I still don't like it. We talked again when he called and said that he had disappeared because he was working to help his father and had no free time.

That made me feel a bit more at ease. I thought about it again. I wasn't afraid that he would be with someone new. But I'm crazy like this because I miss him so much. But that probably doesn't outweigh the concern I have for him. We talked after not talking for a long time. Two more days until school started and I decided to continue studying at the same place just for the reason that I wanted to be with Chanyeol hyung.

At first, my mother wanted me to study at an international school. Because my head is more towards language than calculations. But I insist on staying here. A school that focuses primarily on science and mathematics. Everyone says I'm stupid.

On the first day of school, I dressed up in an unusual high school outfit. Chanyeol is in his last year of Mathayom 6 and I wanted to have as many memories of him in this place as possible even though I had time. Not much Chanyeol told me that I've become more mature since I was in high school, but the way I speak my thoughts is still the way I was in middle school.

I live my life with Chanyeol hyung beside me. I don't know when I stopped having this stupid habit. Maybe it was because I studied so hard that I didn't have time. How stupid? It seems like I'm close to all of Chanyeol's friends. And it turned out that I had no friends in class. But when I had free time to study, I would hide in the student council room.

which is a source of mingling among the student council It's not anyone far away, it's Chanyeol's group. Jongin hyung, who was once cheerful and cheerful, has clearly turned dull. When Kyungsoo caught him secretly talking to someone else, my friend decided to break up without hesitation. But what's even worse is that Kyungsoo went to study in Japan and hasn't contacted anyone, not even me, who is his best friend.

My relationship with Chanyeol hyung faded when Luhan hyung, Sehun hyung's girlfriend and another friend of Chanyeol's, came to befriend me. And I think he's a very good person. Until I trusted him to tell him the story of my life. Everyone is happy to have another group member. But there is one person who is not okay with me being close to Luhan and that is Chanyeol. He began to distance himself from me. starting to ignore me

But I calmed down and acted like I didn't feel this distance. I did everything as normal while knowing that he had changed. We talk each day and can count sentences. But I didn't care because I stopped expecting him to do what I wanted. I let him do whatever he wanted, but just being with each other was fine, I thought.

Day by day we are becoming more and more distant. From the fact that I'm the closest to Chanyeol in that group. Now I'm back to being closest to Luhan hyung. I chose to go with Luhan hyung over Chanyeol hyung. Until we are brothers and sisters But one day, my distance from Chanyeol hyung caused him to come in and shout back,

Can you stop messing with Luhan? But I won't promise because Chanyeol doesn't like Luhan. It's his business, which has nothing to do with me. But I can't help but be fascinated by Luhan and Chanyeol's relationship. It's like there's a sharp wind inside something. Until finally I decided to ask Jongin. And I know things that I never knew

Luhan hyung secretly liked Chanyeol hyung when they were in middle school. They were all in the same class. But Chanyeol has never been interested in Luhan because Chanyeol already has a girlfriend, Wendy. Luhan chatted with Chanyeol every day, causing Wendy and Chanyeol's relationship to crack. But I came into Chanyeol hyung's life at that moment and ultimately caused their relationship to break up.

I just realized that I was the reason they broke up. And what I'm thinking in my head is Chanyeol hyung is dating me to spite Wendy hyung?

Day by day my relationship with Chanyeol hyung is getting worse. But it wouldn't be worse than if I kept doing the same thing. I make everything normal

I'm tired. Even though Chanyeol hyung's feelings for me have disappeared since the day we opened up to each other. But I made him stay. He said he wouldn't break up with me because he didn't want to. If I'm uncomfortable living like this, he makes every decision himself. And I chose to stay and try to fix the broken glass and ended up cutting my hand.

Chanyeol hyung started paying attention to me again when I broke up with Luhan hyung. I admit that I feel good. And it made me realize that my efforts were not in vain. Fulfillment didn't last long with me. I caught Chanyeol hyung secretly talking to my roommate Junhong, but I wasn't very close to him. Because we were too far apart, causing everyone to think that we had broken up. I know but I don't say.

I was so uncomfortable that I couldn't keep these crazy feelings in. I greeted Luhan. I believe that Luhan can be trusted. What's worse than Chanyeol talking to my friend? He went back to talk with Wendy. Old flames rekindle again when Jisoo enters the room.

B

Jongin hyung's new girlfriend came to tell me that he saw Wendy hyung and Chanyeol hugging each other. At that time I was very shocked. So much so that he couldn't control himself. I told Kris, a friend of Chanyeol's group, about what I heard because Chris was flirting with Wendy and it seemed like Wendy had feelings for Kris. I also began to distance myself from Chanyeol hyung when I became close to Luhan hyung and Jisoo.

I'm not sure if Chanyeol and I can still be called lovers or not. I cry every time I'm alone. We see each other every day but we just smile at each other like we're not lovers like that. Chanyeol has more and more people talking to him. Are there any appointments to meet? He acts like I'm not his girlfriend. Everyone in the group said I was stupid.

I should break up with Chanyeol. But he didn't follow the advice of his elders. I insist on staying here.

"Let's break up" were my words to Chanyeol that day. I cried in front of him. I love him very much. But Chanyeol hyung doesn't love me and I have to go. The feelings I had were so strong that day I cried a lot. Chanyeol hyung pulled me into a tight hug. But it made me cry even harder. It's like he's trying to make me stay.

I pulled away from that embrace that I longed for. I looked at his face and tears that I had never seen before Chanyeol fell in streams. That makes me think that he still loves me. He gently wiped my tears. It's the feeling I've been longing for since we started being apart. I don't want the wound in my heart to continue.

Now it's inflamed and getting worse.

After that day when I broke up with Chanyeol hyung, I never went to the student council room again. We didn't talk, we weren't close with the elders, but we talked when we saw each other, but with Chanyeol, we hardly looked at each other. It continued like this until Mathayom 6's graduation day. I decided to walk in and congratulate him. We took pictures together.

I felt good in my feelings that day.

After I decided to break up with him that day. It made me understand life more. Now I'm in Mathayom 6 and my older siblings are studying at university.

Chanyeol, Kris, and Wendy study at the same university. Jongin hyung flew to study in England according to his father's wishes. Luhan goes back to study in China. After breaking up with Sehun, I don't know why. Sehun hyung has become a star and is famous now. I'm not close to Jisoo anymore, we don't talk like we used to.

But they smiled at each other as they walked past. As for D.O., we haven't contacted him since we graduated from middle school, and I also found out that Chanyeol hyung didn't get back together with Wendy hyung like I thought. Sister Wendy has been with Kris until now. As for Chanyeol, he stopped talking to everyone he used to talk to. As for me, I'm still here.

A place with many memories that are hard to forget. As everyone left the place where it all started, I don't know if they still remember me or not. I don't know if they still miss this place. But I'm still here, I'm thinking about it. Stories from the past and smiling at the memory

-END-