With the words that we will meet again

Often do not meet again

See you again (

Yaoi,

Short story) Rainbow Sky

www.mebmarket.com

Let's part today so we can meet again tomorrow and then nothing will separate us again for eternity.

See you again

'See you later'

And when?

When will we meet again?

when?

His body was more fragile than that of a normal man, stretched out on a pure white bed with a blanket covering his chest, his left hand resting on his forehead, he sighed tiredly every time he thought of those words of the man he loved. He always had questions in his mind.

'Let's meet again....'

And when? ...

If you truly think that you will never see each other again

Why do you want to talk about hope?

Why?

Why don't you think of someone like me who can only wait, can only wait one day at a time, hoping that today you will come to me? I really hope to meet you today.

But in the end...

Well, not...

Day after day, I can only wait....

wait

wait

wait

And waited, in the end it didn't come. Why didn't you come? How many tears must I shed before I can be satisfied with you? You must be satisfied to see me like this, right? You are satisfied to see me crying because I miss you so much. You probably intend to torture me. To get revenge on me? Yes, I'm evil. I'm a bad lover, a lover who doesn't have anything good, a lover who gives only problems and embarrassment. I'm a lover who doesn't matter and is spoiled. I'm a lover who can't make you proud of me for once.

Still...

I've never loved anyone but you.

Never really

And then a big set of tears flowed down my cheeks again. Why did I have to love you? Even though I intend not to love anyone for the rest of my life. Intending to live alone, grow old alone and die alone If in the end it had to end in excruciating pain, why would you make me love you so much?

For what?

The love that made my heart hurt, if I had known that this was the case, I probably wouldn't have had it in the first place.

I believe that almost everyone who has ever been hurt by love has thought this way.

If I knew, I wouldn't love it.

But because I love you even though I don't know.

Starting to love, first starting to flirt, everything is fine. Taking care of delivering rice and water to my office and home every day, calling and texting without fail. Had a fever, had a headache, had a knife cut, stumbled and fell, was a little worried as if he was going to die, so he was going to take him to the doctor. Forcing me to take medicine here and there is all messy and annoying, but I admit that I feel good, but it's just 'feeling good', not 'feeling love'.

This kind of thing still wouldn't make me fascinated by my personality. My thoughts and reading skills aren't much like other people's. I've had people flirt with me many times. In a moment, they would all give up and he too would one day get bored and give up himself. I kept counting down the days until he would get bored of me. Keep an eye on every action to see when he will change.

A month has passed. Two months, three months...

Half a year has passed.

Finally, a year has passed.

I am the same me and him who still do everything the same way. Many times I act mean and spoiled. It's strange that he never gets bored with me.

Because he was like this, from what used to feel good, it developed into a feeling of 'like'.

January 1st of last year he proposed to me. I respect his efforts. That same day we celebrated together in my room. We had fun chatting about general things and suddenly I didn't know what I was thinking. Maybe it was because I started liking him? To bring up the matter that you once confessed...if you still confirm the original words..

I.... 'OK'

Can you believe that just those two short syllables made him, who was sitting cross-legged, leaning back and facing the TV? The other side downed a glass of sweetened water and froze while watching the news. His eyes looked at me slowly, not knowing what I was doing, but in just a split second the glass in his hand fell and spilled onto his pants, completely wetting it.

He looked at me blankly and didn't say a word. Seeing it like that made me feel so embarrassed that I panicked. I didn't know what to do, so I told him that I would go get a cloth to wipe it for him. At the end of his words, he prepared to get up but didn't get up before going anywhere. A strong hand grabbed my hand. and pulled himself into an embrace

His arms tightened tightly and he buried his face in his shoulder. He held me like that for more than ten minutes, but he didn't say anything like before. Still, I felt that he was very happy. The proof was the tears that were flowing continuously. There was no sobbing.

There was only warmth and wetness.

In the end, he fell asleep in my arms. When I saw that, I tried to push him away. But how much do you try? To no avail, his rather large body combined with his tight arms made him almost unable to move. Fortunately, the weather was not too cold that night, so we all slept in front of the TV until morning.

That's how it should be.

If I don't wake up again and find myself lying on the bed in my own bedroom, when will I come in? I couldn't tell at what point I was taken to sleep. When I first realized I was here, the aroma of food wafted to my nose.

That's what woke me up..

I walked out of the bedroom, still sleepy, and stomped towards the kitchen. I saw a man who was happily cooking while humming the song I liked to listen to happily, picking up this and that. In the pan Seasoning this one and that, sometimes swaying back and forth to the rhythm of the song. I stood with my arms crossed and leaning against the door, unable to help but smile along, and he didn't know that he was coming and that one eye was staring.

Before I knew it, when I finished and set the table, he probably intended to wake me up. But he turned around and saw me standing at the door. He was embarrassed, his face turning red. While eating, he didn't ask anything. Regarding last night's matter, I didn't ask again whether it was true or not. Or say that we are already lovers or something like this if we look at our personalities. I think he's afraid...

I'm afraid that if I ask again..

I will change my mind..

So it turns out that we both know by atmosphere, know by my words and his attitude right now.

Our relationship has changed...

From the fact that he didn't dare to come in and touch his body when they were alone together. At first it was a little tense, but after many times it became normal. Sometimes I would suddenly come to hug and kiss. He likes to caress himself like a puppy or kitten. He also likes to have me rub his head when he lies on his lap. And I didn't say anything and still thought it was cute because when we were together these things didn't seem strange.

Four years passed quickly like a lie. I didn't think that we would be together for this long. It was beyond my expectations in many ways while I was the same as before. He still does everything the same. Even if I'm wrong, he'll be the one to reconcile.

Until the feeling of 'like' that I had turned into a feeling of 'love'

From when I never cared for him, I started to care for him more. From never being the one to call first I started calling first. From not having a present on my birthday or anniversary every month that we've been together, I started thinking about it, but in the end I didn't give it, I've never done it, and suddenly when I started to do it I felt embarrassed.

‘Sex’

Occasionally, once or twice a week. or once a month Because he didn't want to hurt me or be a burden on my body. He said that just being together makes him happy.

When I heard that So I arranged for...

Just being together, right?

Yes.. so I answered him....

So let's live together...

Just like the first day when I said yes, he shed tears of joy again. Said with a sobbing voice while hiding her face, saying that my words sounded like I was asking him to 'marry me'.

I laughed a little before answering.. 'If you really propose, you must have a 'ring'.'

'That's it,' he said, laughing out loud.

'Let go before today is your birthday, right? I have a present for you,' I said as I gently pushed him away. He immediately pulled away and slowly stretched out his arms.

We sat in front of the TV, just like that day. The strange thing was that in front of the TV I had a sofa. It was a gift from him last month and even though I was complaining non-seriously that I wanted a sofa to lounge on, he bought it for me on the first of the next month. He said if he gave it without reason he was afraid I wouldn't accept it so he bought it for our anniversary instead.

He has given me many things in the past five years before I realized it. If we count the first year that started with that flirtation as well.

What should I give him? If I'm telling the truth, it's still not as serious as every year before when I always forgot the birthday of someone who was known as my boyfriend. He would smile and say that it was okay because I had work. Busy, he understands.

The importance between me and him is obviously different..with him who always gives me surprises, whether it's our anniversary every year or our important day.

I raised my hand to caress him and let my thumb wipe away the tears on his face. His expression looked a little surprised when I mentioned it. I probably didn't think I'd remember, so to make him even more surprised, I told him to close his eyes first. He obediently complied. I withdrew my hand and turned to pull out a compact red velvet box from the black bag next to the sofa that I usually used to carry my things to work every day.

Opening the box, he took out what was inside, which was a simple gold and diamond ring with a heart shape in the middle between his and my names, with my name first followed by a heart shape and his name following. In an atmosphere where there was only the sound of some TV channel playing softly. I reached out and grabbed his left hand before moving it to touch the tips of all four fingers.

Gently leaning in, placing my lips on the back of his palm. He was startled a little. You probably didn't expect that people who never cared about him People like me who have never made the first move will do this for about four to five seconds. He slowly withdrew and let go of his three fingers, with only one remaining.

Holding the finger with one hand, the other hand slowly inserted the circular object all the way into the left ring finger while I was wearing it. He probably knew what I was doing. Tears flowed from his eyes silently.

Flowing even though his eyelids were still asleep, he wouldn't forget until I gave him permission.

Because I know that it is so.

So I told him to open his eyes after ten minutes and I was embarrassed. If I had told him to forget immediately, he would have definitely seen the condition of my face, which was completely red, so I would have secretly gone to wash my face. Taking out the cake that had been secretly stacked, lighting the candles before turning off all the lights in the one-story house in the heart of the city.

I sat back on the same sofa again and told him that he could open his eyes. I believe he wouldn't secretly open his eyes to look at the ring. His eyelids were once completely silent. Slowly opening up and forgetting with tears that still haven't stopped flowing.

When he opened his eyes to see the cake in front of him and me smiling and singing Happy Birthday, it made him cry so much that he had to raise both hands to hide it.

The first time I was surprised

He didn't think that he would be this happy when the song ended so he let go of his hand. Blow out the candles while your face is a mess and your nose is running. Saw it and couldn't help but laugh. Laughed even though I was crying too.

Glad and happy because of this feeling Tears flowed without realizing it.

He finished blowing, so I used my cell phone light to lead the way to turn on the light. When I walked back, I saw him turn his left hand. I turned and turned several times until I came back to my seat. He still does the same thing. Until I asked him, 'Do you like it?' He paused before answering with a quick nod.

I handed the velvet box to him and said..

'Put some on for me'

The other hand held out the box and the other hand lifted it up and it was ready to be worn.

There is no need for any formalities, no need to kneel or anything. You don't have to have hundreds of thousands of people come to congratulate you, you don't have to say that you love me, you love me as much as the sky, as much as life, you don't have to do anything. Because throughout the past time with consistency that That's enough. He didn't hesitate and put on a pair of rings that looked the same, just different names...swapping his name with mine.

Once he put it on, he didn't say many things tonight that might cause his chest to become speechless. The cake was still in the same place but he and I moved and ended up on the bed.

He did it..while saying he loved me over and over again how much he loved me. Calling my name over and over again, hugging me tightly as if I was afraid I would fade away.

Until we finally fell asleep

The smell of breakfast wakes me up again and is what wakes me up almost every day. As usual, I picked up just one of his shirts and put them on before walking to the kitchen. He was much taller than me, and his nightshirt turned into my calf-length nightgown. And the bottom part doesn't wear anything.

My body was clean. He probably wiped himself but didn't dare put on clothes for fear that I would wake him up. Last night was quite heavy so I wanted to get a full rest.

When we arrived, I secretly watched him cook again as usual.

But the thing that was different from before was that while he was picking up things, he was much more careful than before. The ring on his finger touched something a little. Lifted it up to look at the embroidery, blowing, wiping, turning it around. When he saw the name on the ring, he smiled wildly and was alone like a crazy person.

Making him laugh a little, he turned around at the sound. and immediately turned around with a face red from the neck.

I walked up and embraced him from behind, something I had never done before. So he stood completely frozen.

Seeing that made me laugh again...before pulling away and going to sit and wait at the dining table, he followed with warm milk mixed with Ovaltine and said to me without looking at me, "Wait a moment." Just a little more and it will be finished.

From that day, three days of his life came to stay in my house. Before, he used to come and stay at my house regularly, so he wasn't too excited. It was just a change from the way he used to come and go. It became permanent. We are in the new phase where he has gone from being good to being very good.

a lot

a lot

Until my feeling of 'love' turned into a feeling called 'love very much'.

Until I didn't spare my heart, I changed into a different person. From having called once in a long time He almost called every ten minutes. He went from never getting up early to cook to making food that tasted bad. No matter how bad it tasted, he still praised it as delicious.

really happy

I went from never seriously looking at him to being so deeply smitten that I couldn't withdraw.

I've noticed recently that when we go anywhere together we always get stares.

Irritated when he talks to others, irritated when people call him. When we're together whether from partners or friends in the company

I've never been like this.

At first we said he was cute, but as time went on I started to notice that he was annoyed.

I never thought that I would become jealous.

He is busy and works hard. I know that he must have some social life. I know that. Promotion to a new position made the work harder than before. I know that some days we hardly saw each other at all. He saved money for me. In order for me to eat and live comfortably, he quit his job so that he didn't want me to be tired. It turned out that he had to be tired on his own.

After another two years, he was still good, which made me start to love him even more.

Even though I don't have much time, I take care of me as usual, making me feel like I'm still important.

And the thing that's different is me...

I'm jealous of everything about him. Just complimenting a celebrity makes me angry. with him who got to go out and meet people For me, where I didn't go out and used to call every ten minutes, it turned out that if I called and didn't answer, I got angry. If I answered, don't hang up or I'd get angry. Coming home more than a minute late, I was angry. I would come back late without asking and tell the reason why I was angry. If you go anywhere without me, you have to report by sending pictures every five minutes or I'll get angry.

Even though I'm like this, he still does it to make me feel comfortable that he really doesn't think of having anyone else besides me.

It's wrong for me to get bored with myself in this situation...so I try to go out and meet people to stop thinking about them. Go sit at a coffee shop or walk around the mall alone. I walk around without buying anything, but sometimes I find something I like and I buy it. But most of it is for him.

Going from sitting at a coffee shop some days has become sitting every day. And the ring that I used to wear every day but that day I forgot to wear it...

Until it became the beginning of a break.

With a story similar to what is called...cheating..

And that's what he thought of himself...

alone...

Everything turned out to be perfect timing. He came home because he forgot an important document. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands and saw a ring left on the edge of the sink and I wasn't in the house. I had said that I liked to sit at the coffee shop in front of the mall. If I came back and couldn't find it, I could go look for it there. Out of curiosity, he followed me as if finding something wrong. He saw me sitting and talking with a woman.

I saw her regularly for a long time until it became close. She had many similarities with me and we became chatting while we were having fun talking about last night's drama. I was sitting facing the door, so I could definitely see people coming in and out. I saw him walk in with a tense expression. I smiled and waved at him, but he didn't smile back.

He walked up to the table and pulled me up by the wrist, shouting loudly that I should go home. He had never done anything violent. It made me shocked quite a bit. Both she and I were confused and I tried to shake my hand away. But it was ineffective because his strength was much greater.

In the end, he was led out of the store by his own strength, in full view of the people.

My wrist hurt and I was embarrassed about what he was angry about. What did I do wrong? At first I couldn't figure it out. When I got home, he stopped me in front of the TV. He took out a ring from the pocket of his pants and showed it to me. He asked, 'Why did you take it off?' with a look of anger in his voice.

I arrived at Bang O.

Ah...is this really the case? So I answered with the truth that I took it off because I was washing my face. Before leaving the house, I forgot to put it in a calm tone. Personally, I thought it wouldn't be a big deal and I think he would definitely believe me.

'lie'

But when these words came out of his mouth, he realized that he was wrong. He was so stunned that he couldn't say anything.

Have we been together this long and still don't know what kind of person I am? Do you think I'm a liar or have I always thought this way?

'Are you taking off your ring because you want to be single? Do you go out to the coffee shop every day to see that girl? Is it because of that girl who isn't as interested in me as before?'

When I remained silent, he came out with a barrage of questions. He who was once polite had almost no politeness left. This argument where he was angry was the first time. So I didn't know what to answer because I had told the truth from the beginning. He is my first love so I have never faced a situation like this.

So I don't know what I should do.

Seeing me still, he gripped the ring in his hand before raising both hands to hold my upper arm. Don't call it grabbing, 'squeezing' is probably cheaper, squeezing forcefully. It hurts me but keeps it quiet and doesn't show that I am hurting. It hurts both physically and mentally.

'Don't be silent and want to break up with me. I want to go with that woman, just say so.' This time without saying anything, he used his strength to shake my body, rocking me back and forth.

Until I couldn't stand it, so I shouted out, 'Who really wants to break up?' Everything stopped. My words made him freeze in an instant.

'Why...why do you think like that?' before answering in a hoarse voice. Eyebrows wrinkled and almost stuck together.

'Well, I just forgot the ring and told the truth..so why are you still angry at me? You must have thought that it was a burden, right? that only takes your money Stupid, spoiled. Jealous, bad habits, lazy, likes to make a mess of the house until you have to clean it up. Clothes were never washed until you had to wash them yourself. Why is the dish not delicious?

There's nothing good about it. You're the one who wants to break up and meet at a better place, right? Ugh.'

I cried until I went crazy.

'Why...why do you think like that?' he asked again, his voice stuck in his throat as his hand began to spit out.

'Have you thought about how long I've dreamed of you? How long did I love you before I decided to flirt with you? How long did I secretly love you? How long did it take to gather up the courage? Have you ever thought about it? No, it's definitely because you never cared. Never paid attention to me, never saw me in my eyes.

You've never told me you love me once, and to this day it's still only me who loves you.'

The third time I saw him cry but this time it wasn't from happiness. But it is a matter of repression. which he had suppressed for a long time

“I never thought of you as a burden, never thought of it. I'm even more delighted. That you gave up the job you loved for my selfishness. If you don't know how to do anything, it's okay. I do it, so I will do everything. As long as I have you by my side, that's all I want for the rest of my life.'

I just stood there, didn't say anything, and let him vent all the time. He must have been in so much pain because of me. Without me knowing I don't mind if he thinks like that, it must be as correct as he said. But I'm calling and being jealous about everything like this. Isn't that called not caring? I'm not interested? And what kind of thing can be called caring that you're interested for him? He moved closer and buried his head in my chest.

'Please, if I don't go with you. Could you please don't go anywhere? Please, every time you go out, I'm so worried that I can't control myself. Anyone who sees me must love you. So much so that I'm afraid that someone will steal you away. I'm afraid that you'll like someone other than me. I don't want you to look at anyone except me. I'm afraid you see a woman better than me. I'm afraid that when we're together like this, you'll see that it's wrong...I'm afraid.'

His body was trembling. Don't tell me you let me quit my job because of these reasons too. If that's the case, I can't help it.

'Sure.' If doing it would make you feel comfortable, it would. I raised my hand and gently rubbed his head before correcting something that he misunderstood.

'That woman you see has a husband and is just a friend. We met and just chatted. She's good at cooking and housework. I just want her to teach me. It's nothing like you think. If one day you doubt my feelings. Look at what's engraved on the ring finger of my left hand since I wore it. My heart has given to you since that day and from now on and forever you will be my only and last love, no matter what happens. Please remember this.'

Hearing this, he let out a cry and apologized a hundred times.

A while has passed.

I still rubbed his head like that. He slowly He pulled away before taking the important item he held in his hand and carefully putting it on me with a word that sounded like a threat.

'Don't forget again if you forget again. Next time, I don't know what I'll do.'

At the end of his words, he kissed me gently on the tip of the nail. After a few seconds, he held my hand and placed it on my cheek, rubbing it, rubbing it like a cat that likes to walk around with its legs tangled. His eyelids began to droop until he fell asleep. He acted as if he wanted to absorb the warmth. As long as possible with a comfortable expression on the face of the house, it was quiet as if there was only the two of us in the world. If that were really the case, it would be great, there wouldn't be any jealousy to worry about.

Not long after, the phone rang causing us to stop our actions. He answered the phone with the speaker on and talked for about five minutes. I could hear the noise because I wasn't paying attention. But I understand that The meeting is approaching, hurry and come to the company.

After hanging up the phone, he didn't seem like he wanted to go at all. I stood and dropped him off at the front of the house. He said he would come back as soon as he finished his work. Do you want something to buy for me? So I said no. I hope you come back soon. I'm embarrassed to say this too, but it's a good thing I'm not the only one embarrassed. To relieve his embarrassment, he hurriedly said that he had already gone.

So I held back and asked if he had forgotten something. He looked puzzled. Seeing this, I pulled his tie to make him lean down...

and pressed her own lips against his for a few seconds before pulling away. His eyes widened in shock, so I took the opportunity to say that he could go. Good and good and immediately push him out of the house and close the door.

I wanted to be crazy. How could I do this? I was so embarrassed that my face almost burned as I walked back into the house. Meanwhile, I heard the sound of the car starting to accelerate and driving away. But why did the more I walked in? The more I felt that the ground was tilted. Ready to feel strangely dizzy because you were too embarrassed? His body lurched back and forth and he began to lose his balance more and more.

Ah...that's bad, I'm sure to fall.

In a split second, a loud bang sounded throughout the house. Everything seemed fine, but it wasn't. When we are of the same mind, we can truly communicate our feelings to each other. There are obstacles interfering. Why must the symptoms worsen now? I want to get up, but I can't get up. Until finally becoming unconscious, even though I thought that from now on I would be happier than before.

Why did it become like this? The number I called the last time to ask for help before I lost consciousness was instead of him being my lover, but I chose to call the girl I met at the coffee shop. '

I woke up and the place was definitely a hospital. I looked around the room but couldn't find the woman I wanted to thank.

The only living thing that could be seen was him, who sat with his head down and his hands clasped next to the bed, with an expression of extreme distress. He must have known something that I was trying to hide and thought that someday this would have to happen. All this time I had considered many times whether to tell him or not.

But when I thought of our dream, I swallowed the secret by default.

'How long have you been hiding it?'

he asked calmly, his hands clasped together tightly as if controlling his emotions, which were about to explode. He didn't ask me if I knew about this. But asking how long it has been hidden makes me more confident that the secret has really been revealed.

'long'

I answered only briefly. Take your eyes off looking at him. Look at the white ceiling with about three or four lights.

'Oh...darling..a long time ago? What's your word for a long time? How long has it been like this?'

His voice started to sound a little sarcastic.

'Middle of last year,' I replied.

'For almost a year, I was a fool who didn't know anything for almost a year, tricking me into trying hard like a crazy person...for what?'

Hands clasped together, nails digging into the flesh starting to bleed, it was clear how much pain he was in.

'For our dreams,' I replied, a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

'Our dream? Huh! So what's the use? If you weren't with me that day, you were a mean person, manipulating me, tricking me into being happy. Tricking me into happiness, tricking me into having sweet dreams without knowing that it was fake happiness'

and immediately closed when he heard the words that had just come out of his mouth. It wouldn't be strange for him to think like this, because part of it was my fault. Even though I want to be angry, I don't even have the right to be angry at anything.

'I'm sorry' is the only word I feel right now...everything is my fault and only me.

'Ugh.....why didn't you tell me sooner..' I made him cry again. The happiness at that time was like a lie. I couldn't believe it happened on the same day.

'Telling it fast or slow doesn't make any difference, the results will be the same.'

He was silent.

'How can I take better care of you? Spend more time with you, pay more attention to this.'

before uttering words that seemed to have been carefully thought out and might be as true as the words But it will cause both of us to suffer, and the past was already good. I don't want any better than this.

'Let's not count down together'

I said with a sigh of relief.

'But I wanted to count down with you, so why didn't you call me? Why did you call that woman if she didn't call as you planned to hide it until...uh...until there?'

It's right that I called you because I wanted to hide it until I died. But it collapsed first, but there is another equally important reason.

'Yes...also because you have a meeting.'

‘Just like this?’ I nodded in response.

'Do you think that meeting is important to you?' he repeated. I nodded again, confirming the same answer, but this time I added reason.

'If you have a successful meeting and presentation, it can buy our dreams into reality. That's why I...'

'But you are more important than anything.'

I hadn't even finished speaking before he suddenly spoke up. I tried to sit up as I saw more and more of his blood flowing out. But how could it be so easy to get up? But I doubt my attempt will make too much noise. He looked up, finally making eye contact. Because of all the talking since I recovered, he refused to meet my eyes once.

'Are you okay?'

As he spoke, he automatically spat out his hand, even though he couldn't sit, but his effort paid off. I nodded and let out a smile. He wiped away his tears and stared at me before deciding to get up from his chair. and came up and sat on the bed instead, looking resolute as if saying something important

A hand reached out and gently stroked the tip of his hair.

'Don't worry, you'll get better. The doctor said the infection isn't too much.'

He smiled softly. Is it gone? You know exactly what disease I have. How much distance? You only know how high the percentage survives.

'It's useless' my words made him pause for a moment.

'No!!!! No matter what you have to exchange. No matter how much you've lost, I must be able to heal you.'

At the end of his words, he withdrew his hand and stood up before walking out of the room without listening to another word from me. Really stubborn, no matter what, you'll be able to save me, right?

Not long after, about a few days later, I was released from the hospital. She came to visit me sometimes. But he comes to watch me sleep every day and every time he has free time from work or lunch, he comes to see me. When I returned home, I went back and forth to the hospital, pretending to be a gamble, and the money I had was wasted on treatment, even though less than a certain percentage survived.

The side effects of chemotherapy caused my hair to fall out, causing me to have to wear a wig. My body became thinner because I didn't want to eat anything, and my face looked shabby like a different person. But he is a great supporter. Makes him more courageous to fight until later he will be at the hospital rather than at home. Because the surgery for the fungus was delayed.

Until finally..

What I had tried for over a year to heal me had the opposite effect. My condition worsened So I had to go to sleep in the hospital as if it was my second home. I had almost no savings left. Unfortunately, it wasn't long before he was fired from the company because he was so worried about me that he couldn't do his job fully. A job that was once good disappeared before my eyes.

Finding a new job is not easy. Education His experiences are all good. He always passed in the first round of applications, but when it came to the interview, he no doubt failed for some reason. We all know that it must be because of me.

I ran out of savings.

Now he doesn't care what kind of work it is, everything that makes him money is everything except prostitution.

There were twenty-four hours in a day but he only slept for two hours. and have done this continuously. One full year sleeping at home Sleeping in the hospital back and forth like this, I told him that he didn't have to try to do anything anymore. Let everything go naturally.

He is bullish.

and confirms his previous words that he will never lose his hair. His body is getting thinner every day. Things I want to eat What I want Never buy new clothes, never buy used skin care products. Save as much as you can. to use all the money to treat me

I was deteriorating more than before, and a bad infection had appeared in important parts. I had to watch my symptoms closely. The doctor told me to accept it many times. But he wouldn't give in. While he wasn't breathing yet, he wouldn't give up hope. Will he ever think about how much suffering I have caused him to be like this? From sleeping two hours a day to just one hour. And it turned out that he hardly slept at all.

I was born the happiest in my life when I was with him. From never being happy that I was born, he made me know my worth.

He is the person who makes me the happiest in the world.

And it's the person who caused me this much pain.

With the words that say 'See you later'

Then he didn't come to see me again. Normally before going to work he would leave saying "I'll be back soon." Can I be alone for just a moment or something like this? I should have been worried from the beginning because of his change in words. I cried every day. I don't know why. I don't understand why I keep trying to think positively about him being busy. Today he couldn't come see me.

The next day was also busy.

And the next day as well.

He's doing it for me.

After a month passed, I tried to suppress my doubts and thought in the same way that I had to live until that day.

The day he will come to me

At the end of the second month, I couldn't begin to think the same way. I started thinking only about things that were debilitating to me. Her body became worse and worse. During that time she still came to visit me from time to time and I asked her about him. But she said she didn't know. I haven't seen him at all.

I'll have to come to terms with it.

But another heart still hopes that he will come to stay.

I spent the days counting the days as I sat and watched the window from morning until evening in case I saw him coming towards me.

Almost the third month has passed.

I must accept that he has left me.

'Let's meet again....' I thought of these words again.

And when? ...

If you truly think that you will never see each other again

Why do you want to talk about hope?

Why?

Why don't you think of someone like me who can only wait, can only wait one day at a time, hoping that today you will come to me? Hope to see you today.

But in the end...

Well, not...

Day after day, I can only wait....

wait

wait

wait

And waited, in the end it didn't come. Why didn't you come? How many tears must I shed before I can be satisfied with you? You must be satisfied to see me like this, right? It's satisfying to see me crying because I miss you so much. You must have intended to torture me. To get revenge on me? Yes, I'm evil. I'm bad. I'm a lover who doesn't have anything good. I'm a lover who gives only problems and embarrassment. I'm a lover who doesn't matter and is spoiled. I'm a lover who can't make you proud of me for once.

Still...

I've never loved anyone but you.

Never really

Ah....that's why I didn't think from the beginning that...he must be tired of taking care of me. He must be tired of having to take care of a sick person who can barely help himself like me. He must be tired of having to give up his own happiness for someone like me.

But it's good.

If he could go on to a better life and make him happy then that would be great.

I took my eyes off the window and turned to look at the chair next to the bed where he usually sat. The chair was still in the same place. Everything about him is still in the same place. My heart belongs to him as before, but what's different is that he's not by my side anymore, not anymore.

do not have...

Without just one encouragement by my side, I don't know...

“It's time to eat.”

There was a knock at the door, along with the sound of the door opening and the sound of a nurse pushing a cart with trays of food for water-glass patients. The medicine was placed next to me. I looked towards her and smiled with deep gratitude that she had taken such good care of me all this time. She smiled back in bewilderment as I felt the rhythm of my heart begin to slow down.

My breathing became labored.

Eyelids slowly droop.

The image in front of me was blurry and the nurse was trying to call out my name.

Without the person I love by my side, I don't want to live anymore...

Breath softens.....

Finally, my eyelids closed tightly at the same time. With a heart that is still as well...

“Doctor.....patient in room 444. My pulse stopped and I stopped breathing.”

I stood and looked at the nurse who had a panicked expression on her face while talking to the doctor who had just ran out after me. With their exhaustion, they must have rushed over. The doctor examined every part of my body as necessary and tried to give me four or five CPRs. before shaking his head lightly

Originally I was a person who had no hope of survival.

Being able to stay this long is considered good.

The doctor and nurse called this and that into the room until there was a big commotion. old work friend The old boss said the coffee shop lady was also there along with her husband. Plus, I cried a lot because I had no relatives anywhere, probably following the people who had come to visit instead to take the body to follow the customs. I stood and watched the various events, alternating with my own lifeless body, the clean white blanket being raised until it was completely covered. face

I turned to look at the chair he used to sit in again....

To bid farewell.. for the last time

"how...."

It's not true...

Ugh...huh

I can't believe it.

I let out a gasp when I saw the person I had been waiting for all this time sitting in the same chair, greeting me with a wide smile.

“I am always beside you, still sitting in the same place. Only you can't see me.. I never thought of leaving you, never. Sorry to make you sad I tried to tell you But you didn't hear me once, I'm really sorry.”

Hearing that made me sit on the floor and cry...

Before he could hear the doctor and nurse talking loudly.

“It's a shame, doctor. I have been able to live this long even though I am in my final stages.”

“Yes...partly it must be thanks to the support of his girlfriend who lost due to shock from the heavy workload three months ago.”

Three months ago...so he disappeared...it must have been because....

And because of me, he had to...

"There's no need to blame myself for everything I've done. I'm happy to do it.. You don't have to regret anything. It's even better because this time, no matter what, nothing can separate us from each other. Let's go and stay in place. That allows us to be together forever.”

He said as if reading my mind. I looked up at the sound of the voice and saw a very gentle smile and a palm reaching closer.

I smile..

Before holding his hand, she steadied herself and stood up, turning to meet his familiar face. Everything about his body is the same person. He and I are in the same condition as on the first day we were together. Even though I didn't feel the warmth of my body, my heart felt the warmth of our hands. Definitely love each other.

"Um...let's go to a place where we can be together......."

We will never be separated...

...forever...

-END-