Get used to that pain.. Because you still have to face a lot of it..

Love&Hurt

Every time I was hurt.. The person who reached out? It's the person I love with all my heart. The person named Wu Yifan or what I call Brother Kris.. But he didn't reach out to help me. He reached out and slapped me, punched me...

What's my feeling right now?

It hurts until I get used to it... It's not that it doesn't hurt. It just hurts until the feeling becomes numb to the pain. As if this pain was what I needed Because it's the only thing that makes Chris not look at me as just an air element. I will always smile to myself after being hurt by the person I love.

It's not a smile that shows because you're happy. It was a smile that showed encouragement. Encourage yourself that a new day will come soon. But sometimes...I don't want to see a new morning..

Yes, everyone probably already knows.

I want to die. Death is the only thing that will keep me from suffering. But I can't die... I don't want to be far from Chris, but I know very well that he doesn't want me..

That day.. the first time I had to suffer.

The day that Chris and I had been together for five months. ..Everything has changed. Yes! It has changed and so have my feelings.

That day I decided to make a surprise cake for Chris. I know Chris likes vanilla. I carried the cake and walked towards Chris in the room that smelled of vanilla cake. Made me smile without stopping. Just think How wide would the person in the room behind that big door smile if they ate their favorite food from someone they called their lover like Park Chanyeol?

But did I forget? That love is not always certain..

When I walked into the tall person's room I pushed the door in and called out Chris's name. But I was stopped when I saw that there was not only Chris in the room. But there was another woman beneath Chris' body. On Chris's bed... A bed that I hardly touched.

Brother Chris and that woman are doing hot love activities. So hot that no one can see me in here. I let the cake fall on the floor until it was all messy. My nose no longer smelled of that sweet vanilla scent. All I could smell was a bitter smell, a painful sight, so painful it hurt until what was like a drop of clear water flowed down my cheek.

I let everything off the floor. before running out of the room Let the two of you continue with those love activities.

Do you think I'm upset that Kris cheated on me? No, I'm hurt that he betrayed me. But when he does this to me I have the right to do the same as they did to me.

I grabbed the keys to my favorite car. Before getting in the car and driving away quickly, I like to drive. Drive fast and let the anger, hate, and sadness disappear with the speed.

I drove at a fast speed until I reached a place called a pub. A place to relax my every sense. I chose to let go of all my feelings and have fun traveling. There were many men looking at me with dazzling eyes. I choose to keep walking towards my goal. Until I met someone I liked.

The two of us decided to go to a hotel in the area. Yes, I cheated on Chris. No, I just cheated on Chris. I have a deep relationship with that man. and got to know that man, his name was Oh Sehun, and I also knew that All last night's stories Falling into the sight of the skilled detective that Chris ordered to trace me. But who cares?

When all I want is..

The irony of Chris...

I have always chosen to do that. Go into deep relationships with other people every time Brother Chris does that to me, and I know that Brother Chris is well aware of my every action. But I still keep doing it. Until things get worse Chris couldn't stand it..

That day, I went with the same partner named Oh Sehun. When we arrived at the hotel, Sehun and I went up to our room very intimately. But it was not yet time to walk to the room. Brother Kris intervened and stared at the two of us with angry eyes. Kris stared at my eyes alternating with Sehun's. And I chose to stare at the night without batting an eye.

We fought a war of nerves for a while before Chris violently pulled me away. before lunging and punching Sehun's face until he was seriously injured. Sehun also responded with violence. I stopped both of them but no one stopped.

I hate violence...

I fell hard, trembling, clutching my temples and screaming in pain. The two of them quickly stopped. And then Chris was the one who pulled me up. Then he dragged me to his car before stuffing me into the car and driving back quickly. I was afraid.. afraid of the speed that Chris was doing. Not afraid of any danger

But I'm afraid that if Chris drives fast like this My pain will probably start soon..

When we got home, Chris dragged me up to the bedroom. It was so intense, it hurt, but I couldn't tell. There's no point in telling Chris about this pain. Because Chris never cared about me anyway.. He grabbed my wrists and put the handcuffs on the table legs and my wrists.

before talking on the phone in front of me in a warm voice A sound I've never heard before.. Brother Chris arranged for that woman to come here. And I probably don't have to tell you what he's doing. Since everyone probably knows Some time has passed. The woman arrived. As soon as those two people met They ran into each other like magnets. They both hugged and kissed.

Caressing each other passionately I can't stand looking at that picture. I could only close my eyes tightly. Close your ears, close your eyes, close your perception of everything. It's too much... too hurtful to my heart..

When all the activities between Chris and that woman ended Brother Chris chased the woman back and removed the handcuffs and pulled me onto the big bed before molesting me and leaving me alone every time after finishing that activity..

It's always been like this. And the women that Chris arranged to have sex with all disappeared mysteriously.

It's my own work..hahahaha

Every time Brother Chris has sex with another woman, once In exchange for one wound on my wrist.. And the breathless body of that woman... Yes, I killed someone.. Those women deserved to die already... They steal villagers' husbands.

Brother Chris has been hurting me for many months...

It has hurt both body and mind until now. After Chris had molested me many times, it made me realize that...

I'm pregnant...

My son and Chris. Children who were not born of love...

I told Chris about the child. But what Chris replied was He doesn't accept our child. He said that this child was the son of an adulterer. He physically abused me, including hitting, punching, hitting. It hurt..but my child probably hurt more. I could only hold my hand tightly on my stomach before begging for Chris to stop. But he didn't stop..

He hurt me and my child. Repeatedly stomped on my stomach many times, until finally.. my child, the child inside that stomach couldn't stand it. And finally left me..

Huh..

You guys forget the last paragraph. Because in reality...

I committed suicide along with the child in my womb : )