It's a Hollin fic, I've already posted it on Joy. But I remembered that I had never been to Dek Dee before. So I tried to post it. It's a fic from the days of making concessions on concert cards. Until now, I still haven't found the time to write a new story, haha.

Talk : 

Hello everyone This is our fic. I confess that this is my first Korean idol fic. We're not good at it at all. So it might be a bit lame, but we really love this couple. If I have the opportunity and time, I'd like to write again, haha.

Warning: The fic is dark, like the author who secretly spared time from work to write it. So you can scold but don't be harsh. It's good to eat glue before reading. Because the fic is really drunk haha.

The light from the digital numbers shows the time: 3:40 a.m. air compressor sound and the smell of cigarettes

These are the three things I perceive through my eyes, ears, and nose.

I'm sitting on my own bed. Stared at the clock for a long time. before deciding to go and open the balcony door to let out the lingering cigarette smell inside Although not sure how much it will help. Because it's like its smell is ingrained in every piece of furniture in the room.

But that's it. He always has a habit of doing things first. Even though sometimes I don't know if it will work or not...

The sky at around 3:00 AM was still completely black. The orange streetlight looked like a small round moon from the top floor of this medium sized dormitory.

Quiet... and stuffy. Summer was something he hated, silence and the smell of cigarettes. He hates it too.

Take only two long steps. He brought himself to stand next to the cement edge of his balcony. Staring aimlessly ahead He saw an empty road. The faint light from the convenience store under the building across the street. and the light-colored curtains that looked somber behind the closed glass door of the dormitory on the other side.

When will the summer end...

He thought boredly. Even though he used to like summer when he was a child... Or to put it another way, He likes that he doesn't have to go to school separately. A day off from school where you can sleep at home with the air conditioner, eat ice cream, or go out to play with friends. But those things were only a short period of childhood. When I grew up and there was no such thing as a summer break anymore. It's time to accept the fact that you hate summer.

Not including weather conditions The sun made his skin burn. There is also the matter of the sound of cicadas. A small insect that makes loud noises for its size. A ringing sound that rings in my ears. Plus, the heat often made him nervous, and Lai Kuanlin wouldn't be surprised when he saw news about people committing suicide during the summer. Since this high-pitched sound makes people who are already stressed out even more dizzy.

He let out a big sigh. A dry wind blows past. Makes the black hair fly a little. It's already very long. And he couldn't remember the last time he walked into a barber shop.

Three in the morning... It was a time when the sky was still dark. I don't know what to call it late. Or is it close to morning?

All I know is that it's still too early to get out of bed...

"Did you sleep well lately?" a familiar voice called out. It made him take his eyes off the letters on the paper. In order to smile at the other person instead of greeting

"Go to bed early, brother. It's a bright morning."

"That's why your eyes are black like this," the older man said in a stern voice. He sat down in the chair opposite. I turned to order coffee from the shop's young waitress. Then he turned his eyes back to the conversation partner again.

“How many times have you told me not to fight? Do you want to listen?"

"Listen... but it's almost time for the exam. Dongho hyung knows that my group is both taking exams. Too many quizzes and you'll die," a prospective scientist complained. But when he saw his fierce eyes, he still stared intently. So he put down the sheet he was reading. Then rubbed the back of the older man's hand in reconciliation.

“Oh, brother, don't be angry. When you're angry, you're not as cute as I am. Let's get better quickly."

Kang Dong Ho looked at his girlfriend, who was thirteen years younger than himself, and sighed. It cannot be denied that Lai Kuan Lingon was actually cuter than him. Including the reconciliation part.

"You can't be angry. But I'm worried about us. I'm really sleep-deprived. What should I do if I'm knocked out in the exam room?"

In fact, Dongho knew how hard science students studied. But when he saw that the other party was so sleep deprived that his whole body was pale except under his eyes, he couldn't help but want to wrap Kuanlin up in a blanket and force him to lie still for ten hours.

"It's good to study hard. But you have to take care of yourself. So, here in the dormitory alone, what do you eat? You want to go live with us, but we won't accept it."

"Stu, you're so far away you'll die. Plus, I don't like the smell of cigarettes. Just because you come to my room often, the smell will stick to all the clothes." Kuanlin complained breathlessly.

"Isn't it good? Other people will know it's the owner."

"Are you a dog so you can use your scent to reserve a place?" He bared his teeth at the person who said the sentence just now, with a blank expression. And it certainly doesn't look scary at all.

The thirty-five year old pianist looked at the picture and could only smile. Although many people say that he is a difficult person to smile. But I don't know why when he's with Kuanlin he smiles so often that he's afraid that his crow's feet will grow someday.

Black hair contrasting with white skin, sweet smile with dimples on the cheeks. Kuanlin is such a good-looking person that sometimes he really can't help being both possessive and worried about his younger sibling. with different ages with free time that doesn't quite match It made him afraid that one day he would not have the right to look at this sweet smile again.

“Lin... If one day Lin gets bored with you, Please give me a signal and time to come to terms with it first.”

The sudden sentence that was spoken without the flute caused the owner of the name to freeze. Both of their eyebrows furrowed together in worry.

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, I'm more than ten years younger than you. And then I realized that I wasn't a good person. Both can't speak well. I'm not good at pleasing anymore," Dongho replied. He is old enough to understand many things in life. And of course, that includes love too. He knows how much harder it is to maintain a relationship than to start one. Especially between two men.

During school life filled with modern-minded teenagers It's not difficult to tell someone that you have a boyfriend. But in outside society, things are completely different. The issue of homosexuality remains sensitive in Asian society. He lived with it all his life. But I don't know what Kuanlin will think.

It's not that he doesn't trust his younger brother... But sometimes he is afraid that he is ruining the other person's life. She's still young. There is still a chance to meet someone who is much better than him...

"I've been thinking too much," the younger man said. “I don't like you because you're good at talking. Or a little good at pleasing I love you for being me. What kind of person is big but likes to think small? Plus he's complaining. But you're complaining because you're worried about me, right?"

The round eyes under the lenses of his glasses met the sharp eyes of the person in front of him. Firm and sincere

"I'm the one who's afraid that you'll get tired of taking care of me... Dongho hyung, I know that compared to you, I'm just a kid People can love each other and break up, right? But believe me, I love you enough to deal with any problems in the future.”

I don't know how long they held each other's eyes. Until Kuanlin felt the weight of a strong hand caressing his head.

"I believe you," said a deep voice. At this moment, Dongho felt warm throughout his heart. And if they aren't in public, He must have pulled the other person into a hug.

"I love you, Lin."

People whose faces are suddenly told they love them unexpectedly Dongho is normally a tight-lipped person. Therefore, Kuanlin was more accustomed to telling. This time, he couldn't help but feel so embarrassed that he had to lift the sheet up to cover his face.

"That's enough, I'm going to read the book!"

"But Lin is holding the sheet upside down."

"Uncle Dongho!!"

Again with numbers hitting three forty. The humming noise from the air conditioner and of course... the smell of cigarettes.

He opened the original balcony door. and walked outside again

Today was just like every other day: dark skies, sweltering heat, orange lights, empty streets, oh... not counting the stray dogs that came out of nowhere.

Lai Kuanlin tapped his fingers against the cement in a random rhythm. Could it be one of the melodies of the song Dongho hyung used to play in the car? He himself wasn't sure.

Eyelids closed When everything is dark It seems to make the perception of the sound better. He heard the faint sound of cicadas. It's not so loud that it's deafening like during the day. But he hated it anyway.

Damn, why is summer this year so long?

It was 3:00 a.m. and it was still too dark to wake up. But he woke up again...

He remembered the first time he met someone named Kang Dong Ho in the winter when he had just entered university. One of the performances at the welcoming ceremony for new students was the performance of an orchestra made up of alumni from various faculties of the university. But among the hundreds of people on the stage He couldn't take his eyes off the pianist.

Black hair cut neatly short Goes well with the same color suit. Even though the other party really isn't better looking than anyone else. But when playing the piano, it has an indescribable charm.

And when those fierce eyes looked At nineteen years old, Lai Kuanlin felt like he had forgotten how to breathe...

The story back then was like a waking dream. He never thought that he would soon meet Dongho hyung again at a coffee shop in a nook near the university where almost no one knew him. (Even though Dongho hyung later confessed that he intentionally came to wait for him...) We talked some more. Begin to dare to invite the other person to go shopping together.

It took a full year to reach the stage of being called a boyfriend...

"If at that time I didn't ask you to date me, Have you thought about saying something?" Kuanlin asked. Maybe it was from looking at the wide back of someone who had just finished playing the piano. Made him think of old things.

Yes... He was the one who asked Dongho hyung to be his girlfriend.

"Difficult to answer." The owner of the residential studio turned around and looked at the questioner who was lying on the bed with his chin on his back.

“I've never liked someone this much younger than me before. So I'm afraid that if I tell Lin that I don't like you, what will I do?"

“Oh, Brother, you still can't see how you let me pick you up and drop you off like that? Why is someone's boyfriend so stupid?"

“If you're stupid and you get to date Lin, that's fine with you,” Dongho smiled. He looked at Kuanlin's puffy cheeks and couldn't help but walk over and kiss the other person's cheek.

"You don't have to go back to the dormitory today."

"How could you? You said you had an appointment, didn't you?" the younger man argued. He also squirmed when the tentacle mites rubbed all over his face until he felt ticklish.

Even though deep down he wanted to hang out with Dongho hyung in the studio instead of having to wander around in the late spring to return to the dorm. But dating someone older means he has to try his best not to disturb the other person so much that he loses his job.

But it seems like he doesn't think like that...

“It's just that your mother wants you to meet someone you know. It's not an important meeting," said the pianist who owned the room. He threw himself on the other side. Staring at a face that no matter how long you stare at it, you never get bored.

"Lin is much more important."

Finished speaking, he didn't wait for the other party to argue. Heavy kisses are used as a substitute for commitment. This isn't the first time they've kissed... And it's not the last time. At least tonight

One thing he's good at besides playing music? It is to make Kuanlin's attractive face and white skin turn red.

Three forty in the morning as usual... But the difference was that he could hear the sound of rain.

A tall figure rose from the bed. Then draw the curtains from the glass door.

It was really rain falling... first rain of summer To him it was as beautiful as the first snow of winter.

A white hand slid open the door. then walked outside Don't care if you get wet.

Maybe because the rain washed away the heat that was buried on the road surface. The air is still stuffy. But at least it's better than the dry wind that irritates the skin.

Kuanlin likes the rain... Maybe that's where his name comes from. Or just because he hates summer so much he wants it to pass quickly.

Stand and let the rain pour down for a long time. He decided to walk back into the room. Take off your rain-soaked shirt and throw it aside. He was in a good enough mood now and began to put things scattered around the room into boxes while humming a tune.

Clothes... textbooks... books... all that trash has to be thrown away. And what else?

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a paper envelope lying on the floor next to a trash can. He sighed at the messiness of the room. Then picked up the envelope. Throw it up on the table. Then began to organize things.

It's still four days away from the original schedule. But let it be. It wouldn't hurt to go a day or two earlier.

A pair of beautiful eyes looked at the calendar with a red circle drawn on it. before taking it out Then throw it into the box with the other items.

You probably don't need to use it...

He looked up at the empty balcony of the dormitory on the other side. I can't tell you when he started looking at that room every night.

It all probably started in the middle of the night in early summer. He is having a headache writing a research paper to push himself to finish his master's degree. I don't know what inspired me to suddenly look up and look at the dormitory across the street.

And that was the first time he had seen that child... People who don't even know their names All I knew was that the shadows that could be faintly seen in the darkness were thin. His hair was nearly touching his shoulders, which made him almost cry out at first because he thought he had seen a ghost. But when you look carefully Kang Daniel felt that if the other party was a ghost It's a really nice-looking ghost.

That was the first time... But it's not the last time. Because Daniel found that every night It was 3:00 a.m. when he had just finished work. The child would walk out and stare at the balcony. Just stood still for about ten minutes and then walked back into the room.

Did you study so hard that you went crazy?

He thought, because he didn't know what good the dry summer breeze had. That's why the other party was able to get out of bed every night like that, but let's just say, he was probably just as crazy as sitting with his head tilted up and staring every day.

But today is different. Suddenly rain fell in the middle of the night. At first, he thought that the owner of the strange room in the opposite dormitory might not be here. But it was unexpected to see a thin figure rushing out of the room to.... stand and let the rain pour down?

Let's face it, he knew that trying to understand someone who could come out every night was a fool's errand. But I don't know why I can't take my eyes off it.

Is that him smiling? Daniel thought, trying to focus his eyes through the darkness.

Although it was not clear whether the child was smiling or not, But what is certain is that right now he himself is smiling. But for what reason, he didn't know.

Ah... this kind of irregular heartbeat. Or because of too much sleep deprivation? There's actually morning class tomorrow.

His eyes glanced at the three-forty-five-minute mark on the clock and he sighed.

It's past 3 a.m. Too early to wake up But it's too late to sleep as well...

By the time he was able to bring himself back to his room, it was already very late. Is it one o'clock? Kuanlin didn't care. He removed the uncomfortable tie. Throw the suit in one corner of the bed. then lay down

A room that used to be full of things Now only several large cardboard boxes remain. A clear indication that the owner is moving out. The room is open, unlike the brain that is chaotic with thoughts, memories, and feelings that are all mixed together because of the influence of alcohol.

The faint smell of cigarettes on the pillow he was lying on made him unable to stop thinking about the person who left it behind.

I miss you... even though I just met you. want to hear the sound I want to look at the fingertips pressing along the piano keys. I want to hug... I want to kiss...

To love someone very much Maybe it's similar to drug addiction.

He closed his eyes, the song he had just listened to earlier in the evening still playing like a playlist on repeat. And he could lie and listen to it for hours. Until the sound of rain hitting the ground in the real world was heard. He was able to lift himself up from the bed. Eyes bloodshot from the alcohol he immodestly consumed, he looked out onto the balcony. His lips curved up into a slight smile.

Kuanlin likes the rainy season... because it's like his name Because he hates summer And because if you stand in the rain, no matter how sad you cry or how sad you are, no one will see you...

He pulled out a paper packet of fine perfume from his pocket. It was completely crushed. It was also the same envelope he had picked up from next to the trash can. But now it's really time to leave.

In the end, he was weaker than he thought. How about Kuanlin, a smart-mouthed person? In the end, I had to rely on alcohol. Even though I used to always be the one telling other people not to eat.

He put it on the bedside table. Stretch to relieve slight fatigue. before deciding to walk outside

Today the rain was heavy enough that it splashed onto the inside of the balcony. The cool mist of rain seemed to make consciousness a little clearer. He spread his hands out, closed his eyes and imagined himself in a movie that had scenes like this.

The white shirt was so soaked that it clung to the flesh. Like the black hair that hadn't been cut in so long that it almost touched the shoulders. After he was satisfied with the rain, he opened his eyes, looked down and looked towards the dormitory across the street. Then he smiled a little.

Hmm... It seems like someone saw his crazy behavior just now. I'm starting to feel embarrassed...

He nodded softly to the other person whose face he couldn't see. All I saw was pink hair that hurt my eyes. which was enough to make him confident that it was not his own acquaintance.

Kuanlin walked back into the room to change clothes. and picked up the suit that had been thrown away and hung it up neatly After finishing everything He found that it was already three forty in the morning.

The hot air, the sound of cicadas, the smell of cigarettes, and maybe the time 3:40 a.m. and the crumpled paper envelope on the table added to the list of things he hates.

Lai Kuanlin picked up the medicine on the counter and took it. Even after drinking the water, a bitter and astringent taste remains on the tongue. Slender brows furrowed together. But I was forced to swallow it down.

The tall, skinny figure walked back to the bed with his legs closed. He closed his eyes and hoped that he would sleep well in order to prepare for the long journey.

3:00 a.m. is too early to wake up. And it's too late to sleep for some people. But Guanlin found that it was not a bad time to travel…

The sound of rain falling makes the hands typing on the keyboard stop. He twisted around until he heard the creaking sound of his joints. I feel sore all over from sitting and typing for a long time.

Hmm... It's almost three in the morning.

A twenty-six-year-old graduate student who was busy with research looked out the window. Under the gloomy curtain of rain, the scenery looked somewhat blurred. Still, the sight of a skinny figure with its arms outstretched in the rain still made him laugh until he almost choked on his own saliva.

What else do you do with it?

Kang Daniel looked at the person whose name he didn't even know. Having said that, it's been almost a month now. But he still doesn't get tired of secretly looking at each other.

Um... thinner... or not?

He thought, looking at the wet white shirt clinging to his body. Faintly revealing the inner skin. I swear I didn't want to think of anything like this at all. But damn, she looks so damn sexy...

But while looking happily The eyes of the person being spied on suddenly turned this way. And there's that little smile as well. Everything made the hand that was resting on his chin slip with fright. Then Kang Daniel's tall figure fell from his chair completely. The handsome girl screamed.

Broken! Will he think I'm a psychopath?!

The man who fell from his chair thought as he stood up. But when I turned to look at the balcony of the problem room. He couldn't find the other party anymore.

Let out a big sigh. It's almost a relief if something doesn't happen to me first.

No... not a white figure in a thin shirt. Or that cute smile? But it was something that was almost obscured by the raindrops.

Is that child... crying?

It is true that separating tears from rain is almost impossible. The more he looked at it from the other side like this Kang Daniel didn't dare say that he saw the child cry.

But I don't know why he "felt" that the other person was crying.

A pair of slender eyes glanced at the clock in the right corner of the computer screen. And it was showing 3:00 a.m. and ten minutes to go.

If no one says... The story probably won't end.

Dark brown eyes looked at the stars in the sky. His back was so close to the ground that he could smell the scent of grass. Mixed with the smell of your own perfume and the smell of cigarettes from people sleeping next to each other

“Are you cold?” a deep voice asked. But he shook his head lightly, even though he didn't know if the other person was watching or not.

“It's almost summer. It's not cold anymore." He replied.

stars strewn across the sky The white speck shimmered in the darkness, the gentle breeze, and the hands held together. Guanlin couldn't answer how many times they had gone out to look at the stars together like this. But the answer is He knew which night would be the last…

“I think… will I be happy as a star in the sky?” the young man asked. Still not taking my eyes off the sky in front of me.

"do not know"

The short and curt answer as expected caused Kuanlin to let out a sigh. His white face turned and looked at the person beside him. and found that the other party was already looking at him

“Not romantic at all, Dongho hyung.”

“Well, I'm not Dowie,” the older man replied. In fact, even though he was a pianist and composer, But no matter how many love songs you write, It doesn't change the fact that he is a man of few words and not a bit romantic.

“I can imagine this.”

“So what do you think, Lin? If I were a star, would I be happy?” Dongho asked in return. In fact, this is a very familiar form of conversation. between them Kuanlin usually does more of the talking. And he was happy to listen to that soft voice.

So happy that I don't want time to go on….

“Probably not.” The person who was asked his own question asked and answered. Dark pink lips curved into a wide smile, showing dimples on the cheeks. “Because Dao doesn't have feelings. Plus there is no Kang Dong Ho in the sky.”

The listeners' hearts trembled when they heard that sentence. He increased his strength in holding the other hand. It cannot be explained how much influence the person named Lai Kuanlin had on him… How important is it to him?

“But…” The younger man began to speak. The smile gradually faded. Until only a faint curve remains at the corner of the mouth. “Because stars have no feelings. How can I be jealous? Even though I'm not happy But you don't have to be sad, lonely, or in pain…”

“Lin…”

Dongho looked at the other person's face. That youthful face still looked handsome, soft, and inviting like light rain falling on flowers and grass. However, he knew that this time it was not just light rain. But it is the gray water curtain of the storm that obscures everything and makes it cloudy…

“I hurt… it hurts a lot. Just thinking about it makes it hard to breathe. But I don't know what to do.” Kuanlin tried to keep his voice from shaking. Try not to cry Because he knew that if he accidentally cried out, Everything that needs to be said Everything that needs to be done It would all collapse. Including his own heart...

"No need to do anything... I'll stay with Lin myself."

"I know that's impossible."

Where did it go wrong?

“Let's leave this country today and go anywhere. Whether it's Taiwan, England or France... Lin had said that he wanted to go. I'll take you there myself."

It was wrong that he overheard Dongho hyung's conversation with his mother...

"Are you crazy, brother? Tickets, accommodations, nothing at all."

It was wrong that the other party had let time pass until now…

“Otherwise we can drive somewhere far away. Buy a house Plant the trees that Lin likes.”

That's wrong, even though I said I was ready to face obstacles. But in the end, he was not stable enough to get through this problem together….

“Can I have a pool too?” Kuanlin asked, a smile starting to appear on the corner of his mouth.

"can"

“A wide lawn to lie down and look at the stars.”

Our hands held together tightly... As if holding hands like this would prevent us from being separated forever.

"can"

“And there is a wide sofa for me to lie on and watch you play the piano every day.”

"can"

No… actually…

“You have spoiled me too much.”

It was a mistake because he loved someone named Kang Dong Ho too much…

Kuanlin locked eyes with sharp eyes. This might be the first time he saw tears within. The tears of the man he once believed to be the strongest in the world…

“I love you.”

A white hand reached out and touched the other's face. Sweeping through the rough beard of a person who didn't take care of himself, he smiled the widest smile possible. As sincere as the heart of a person named Lai Qualin can give.

“Because of that, I will say it myself.”

There must be someone who said it... Just like when it all started Just like when it was all over. When the other party refuses to speak He will do it again... In the sense that it is the opposite of what the heart desires most.

“Let's break up.”

Guanlin couldn't answer how many times they had gone out to look at the stars together like this. But the answer is He knew which night would be the last…

…this evening…

Whether it's a wide house A garden full of plants, a pond, a piano, a sofa, or just a room with nothing but them. All of them are non-existent. It's just a drop of water that can be seen. But I couldn't get it.

And maybe that drop of water was the same thing that had flowed down his cheek a moment ago…

Dong Ho hyung came to drop him off at the dorm like always. The car was filled with silence. And when he reached his destination, he got out of the car, thanked him and told the other person to go home safely. I tried to ignore the hand that was trying to reach for me. He hurriedly closed the car door, not caring about etiquette any longer. The two legs carried the completely numb figure up to his room as quickly as possible.

I can't take it anymore...

Kuanlin just found out. How about the saying that even breathing is painful? It's hard to say… It's hard to say goodbye It's hard to decide to run up without waiting for any words. Because if you stay there a little longer Even his own heart probably couldn't take it anymore.

Kuanlin always thought that he was not a weak person… He got through the time of losing his family. and moved to live alone in an unfamiliar country But this time, he was no longer confident that he was strong. Or are you just trying to escape the pain?

Dongho hyung is getting married...

That's what he knows. It wasn't that the other party had deceived him. Kuanlin knew that Dongho hyung was trying to deny this. But my family has given me an ultimatum that I must marry. It is not unusual to be born into a strict Asian family. But that wasn't as painful as hearing how much Dongho hyung's mother hated him.

Not just because he's a man. But because he wasn't even Korean…

Of course Kuanlin knew. that there is still high nationalism in Korea But he just didn't think that he would have to face something as bad as a bad soap opera with himself like this.

No… if this were a drama The main characters must escape together without paying attention to the obstacles...

But because it's real life. So he couldn't do that. He himself had no family to worry about. But not with Dongho. And he knows how much Dongho hyung loves his family.

Because of that, the other party couldn't make a decision. Until finally he had to be the one to end it… He saw Dongho's tears for the first time. But Dongho hyung didn't hold him back seriously. It's okay... He understands how difficult it is. One way is parents. On the other hand, the person you love understands...it's just difficult to accept.

Sometimes loving someone is too much. It makes us not want to see him suffer distress or pain because we are the cause...

The things in the room that were once orderly were swept away until they were scattered. Doing this is of no benefit. But he knew that if he didn't vent at all He must be crazy.

Tears fell from his bloodshot eyes. A tall figure collapsed to the ground. I don't know how long I sat there. But when you cry until there isn't even a single tear left He glanced at the clock that showed exactly three forty in the morning.

He walked towards the balcony door. The smell of cigarettes lingering in the room made him think of the person who had left it, almost unbearable. Guanlin opened the door. The wind from outside touching the skin was a dry wind mixed with a light heat vapor.

Summer is almost here...

Wearing sandals and running up eight flights of stairs was an experience Kang Daniel thought he would never have again in his life.

Because he is a person who trusts his own instincts more than what his eyes see. This made him decide to come out of his dorm and go to the dorm next door. But the unfortunate discovery was that the only elevator was broken. causing him to run up the stairs even though he was wearing sandals.

If nothing really happened here In addition to being accused of being mentally ill. You also have to hurt your feet for free...

And after trying to find the right room for a long time, He stopped in front of a door that had a sign next to it with the name of the student who owned the room.

Lai... Kuanlin?

At least now he knows that the crazy kid who likes to stand around late at night isn't Korean.

As for the reason that made him have to punt all the way here? It's pure feeling. He must have gone crazy because he felt that the other party seemed strange tonight. He also seemed to cry again. Even though I tried to erase this feeling and go back to work. But until then, I felt so anxious that I couldn't bear it. Finally, I realized that I was running up the stairs.

Anyway, here we are, how are you doing?

He knocked on the door softly to try. But there was no response.

“Sir… Mr. Lai Kuanlin.”

This time try browsing. But after knocking and calling, there was still no response. Make the eyebrows on the face slightly furrowed together. Immediately felt an abnormality Because if you think about it, Not even an hour had passed since he had seen the other party in the rain on the balcony. It was impossible for the people inside to be in such a deep sleep that they couldn't hear anything like this.

And before being scolded by the next room Daniel tried turning the doorknob. and was surprised to find that the door was unlocked.

It's not normal like this...

He immediately felt uncomfortable. So the matter of etiquette was put aside for now. The room door was opened. Revealing a faint glow from an orange dim light that had been left on. He walked into the room. It was found that besides a few pieces of furniture, There were only crates that were neatly sealed. It was as if the room owner was preparing to move out soon.

Just sweep your eyes quickly once. Kang Daniel then noticed the shadow of a strange child lying on the bed. He walked in slowly and quietly. Although doing this is no different from thieves or psychopaths. But he really couldn't stop his own legs. His heart was pounding like it hadn't in a long time. It was mixed with excitement and fear out of nowhere.

Finally, he stopped two nines away from the bed. And after swallowing hard, He decided to call out.

“You…”

He doesn't know what to call sending a wedding card to his ex-girlfriend who just broke up with him. Can it be called cruel?

But the truth is Kuanlin knew that Dongho hyung only wanted to see him. Because after we broke up He changed his mobile phone. Lock yourself in a room Ignoring Dongho hyung who tried to wait for him in front of the dorm or university. He even skipped school. I just don't have to see your face. Don't have to hear the sound.

He was able to fool himself into thinking that even without Dongho hyung, he could survive.

Even though in reality he just wanted to escape…

After trying to hide away for a month Dongho hyung disappeared. And I just received news again when I opened the mailbox and found a wedding invitation card.

Ah… I guess I disappeared because I was busy preparing for this event…

He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. But in the end, I didn't do both. His eyes glanced at the calendar on the wall. The sound of cicadas filtered into the room. The bright sunlight piercing through the curtains made him feel even worse.

He hates summer... I really hate it. And he wasn't surprised when he saw news of people committing suicide over the summer. Since both the weather and the high-pitched sound made people who were already stressed out feel dizzy even more.

But one of them wasn't him... Guanlin didn't see that committing suicide in the summer was a good thing. Even though the last memory should be truly beautiful or memorable.

Yes… like the rainy season….

He picked up a suit from the closet and put it on. Finally decided to come to work. He thought that he would at least be able to stand and watch from some angle. But he was wrong. Because just by hearing the sound of a piano Seeing Dongho from afar made my heart hurt until I couldn't bear it.

The song Dongho hyung used to play for him to listen to alone. The song that the other party composed for him... Guanlin knew that the other party was playing it tonight because he hoped he would come. But Brother Dongho probably couldn't have imagined how cowardly Lai Kuanlin's identity really was. He turned around, tightly gripping the invitation card he held. before deciding to walk away from work Walk as far as you can. and ended up with a bottle of liquor

Too painful… Too much love... Thinking too much... And hurt yourself too much...

He returned to his room. Looking at the open room It's no different than the memories between him and Dongho that are fading day by day. He doesn't want to be a burden to others. Therefore, various belongings were neatly arranged in crates. Waiting to be forwarded to someone who may need it.

He likes the rain… In the rain, even if he cries, no one will see. He thought it would be his last cry… No, he would “make” it his last cry.

Lai Kuanlin smiled at the person who happened to see him while he was out in the rain. This person would also be the last person he saw. A person whose name he didn't even know or what he looked like, all he could see was pink hair.

The tall man managed to change out of his soaked clothes. and looked at the medicine bottle His long journey was set from the day he decided to walk away from the person he loved most. He has no family There's no one to take care of. He came to Korea by himself. and will leave alone as well

That's right… That person named Lai Kuanlin was such a coward, he kept running away again and again. But no matter how far you run Never once ran beyond the pain

So… that's enough, this really is the last time…

He lay down on the bed. Looking at the ceiling of the room But what he saw was not white cement. But it's a star in the sky somewhere.

It's past three in the morning. It was too early to wake up. But it was too late to fall asleep. It was a time when he could reflect on many things. A time when it was so quiet that loneliness slowly ate away at my heart little by little…

The sound of the falling rain was like a soft whisper in my ear. How sweeter than the sound of cicadas in summer?

Sometimes, no matter how hurry we come, It's always one step too late...

Kang Daniel looked at the face of the sleeping person. The curves of the eyebrows and lips look soft. Looking at the other side up close for the first time It made him discover that the strange kid who liked to stand out in the rain was even better looking than he had thought.

His long black hair almost touched his shoulders. Pale white skin wearing an equally white shirt. Lai Kuanlin looked as beautiful as a painting. But no matter how loudly he called out This person will never wake up again.

If only he had come a little earlier…

He pursed his lips tightly. prepared letter with a room that is well cleaned It indicates that this person has probably been preparing for a while. He came too late… Even though I should have been complacent sooner. Angry at myself for always looking and not noticing how much pain the other person was going through.

A tall figure knelt beside the bed. Hold the other person's hand. It's still warm The faint smell of rain mixed with the smell of cigarettes in the room.

“Hello Kuanlin. You probably don't know me," he began to say. In fact, it's more like talking to yourself. The eye sockets are starting to get hot. Daniel now felt like he was going crazy. Yet he was unable to stop his own actions.

“I don't know you either.”

Just watching every day little by little But he soon realized that he had made a huge mistake.

“But I already like you.”

I missed the first time I accidentally liked it, I don't know when. And another mistake is that everything is too late.

Sometimes, no matter how hurry we come, But we couldn't keep up with what is called destiny...

'Hello, my name is Lai Kuanlin. I'm the owner of this room.

Don't worry, I wasn't drunk... in fact I had a little. But in this matter, I have made a thorough decision. and prepared for it several months ago I did everything while still being fully conscious and willing, so there was no need for troublesome investigation.

I don't have a family. If you don't count distant relatives who have hardly ever met. But there are people who are worried. If you ever meet someone named Kang Dong Ho, please tell him that I'm sorry. And it's not your fault. I want you to continue living your life well. I know I did this. I probably feel guilty. And I definitely have myself to blame. That's why I have to apologize.

Everything I did must have been very selfish, right? That's why I told you not to spoil me too much because you were kind, so I lost someone like this. So you can be angry at me. But I'm sorry I wasn't there for you to complain again. I love you. You already know, right? That's why I want you to have a good life.

A life without me, I can live. As for me, I will be a star in the sky. Do you remember? The stars in the sky without Kang Dong Ho are not happy, but they don't have to be sad either... When I write like this People probably used it to make scandalous headlines like students crazy about love. Or something like that for sure. But I don't care. Because until then, I didn't know anything anymore... Sorry, thank you, and goodbye, these are three words for me. When talking to me

Every word means "I love you" as well. So in the end I won't act like a drama that asks you to forget me. Because even if you want to forget, you can't forget, right? Because of that, remember me. Because I, too, missed you until the last second.

I apologize to the first person who saw this letter. It must be creepy, right? But I'm done talking. In my room there are a few valuable things, clothes and study sheets. If you see that they can be of some use, you can give them away. Or you can throw it away. I've arranged it.

You probably think I'm stupid and short-sighted. It really is like that. But I think it's what I want. So please respect the decision.

Time 3:48 and the rainy season has finally arrived.

Lai Kuanlin'

Kang Dong Ho's tears fell silently onto the page at the letter of the word love...

= End =

Talk:

What did I write?

orz'

I apologize to everyone who came to read. It's writing fiction with a lot of numbness. Personally, I'm a person who likes muted tones. [Really, a vow fic should be a happy story, right!?] I apologize here for any mistakes. I haven't written a fic in a really long time.