"Happy New Year"

Each year I remember it differently...

The warm embrace made Seonghwa under the white blanket unable to move away. It had been a while since he had woken up, but it was because Hongjoong was still fast asleep and he felt good being hugged like this, so he chose to sleep for a long time. Outside the window, the green leaves were fluttering and it looked a little dark because the sunlight was still shining a little. White mist floats lightly. He shivered from the cold early morning air.

Seonghwa spun around to face Hongjoong, who still had his eyes closed. His lips were slightly parted, making him seem angry, causing Seonghwa to smile. before pressing the tip of his nose onto the soft cheek of the person in front of him Hongjoong was unconscious. Seonghwa chuckled. before slowly moving towards him Put your lips close to your ear.

He laughed again in a deep voice but with a hint of mischief. This time, Hongjoong moved. Seonghwa doesn't give up.

“Hongjoong-ah, I'm hungry.”

Seonghwa knows Hongjoong is awake but ignores him. Hongjoong was sleepy, but he couldn't help it because he was really hungry.

The soft black hair brushed against the side of Hongjoong's shoulder as Seonghwa spoke in a pleading tone.

“Hongjoong, please wake up, I'm hungry.”

A loud sigh came out. Seonghwa wasn't afraid that the other party would be annoyed, he turned his head and smiled widely.

Hongjoong will never be angry at me.

"Alright, what do you want to eat?"

“Easy, um, sausage and toast and hot milk, okay?”

“You have to have it.”

“Okay,” Seonghwa said, smiling. Hongjoong couldn't help it. As he got up from the bed, he sat down again and leaned over to gently kiss Seonghwa's forehead.

Seonghwa's eyes widened. It wasn't the first time Hongjoong had done this, but he knew that it would be a long time before Hongjoong would get up and make him something to eat because he would keep pretending to hug Seonghwa like this.

“Hongjoong is hungry. Hurry up and get up.”

“Stop acting cute first.”

“I didn't do it,” he said, shaking his head, causing Seonghwa's hair to tremble as well. Hongjoong kissed his cheek.

“This is cute again.”

“But I haven't done anything yet.” He frowned.

This is cute again. Hongjoong pressed the tip of his nose to the other cheek.

Seonghwa furrowed his brow tensely and began to mumble in a voice too soft to be heard. Hongjoong put his ear closer to his lips, wanting to know what the cutie was saying. Without listening, Hongjoong moved his face up and stopped the soft sound coming from Seonghwa with his lips. Seonghwa was silent.

20 minutes later, Seonghwa ate breakfast to his heart's content. Then the two of them prepared to go to school. Hongjoong rode his bike to drop Seonghwa off at a university that was only 5 minutes away.

"Come and join us in the evening to celebrate the New Year together."

“Um.”

“And don't beg other people too much, Huang.”

"What? I've never really begged anyone."

“Just saying this is like you're begging me again.”

“But I speak normally.”

"I don't know. I don't want you to be cute with anyone."

“When a girl screams at you I still don't mind anything.”

"Well, she doesn't hate me."

“Very jealous, too.”

Hongjoong smiled satisfied. Seonghwa knew he had been tricked. Always being forced to say words like that. And he always believed in what he said.

"That's all I want to hear. Go ahead and study hard."

“Tell yourself.” Seonghwa scowled as Hongjoong cycled away.

That night, the two celebrated New Year's together quietly in the bedroom, and after Seonghwa reached out and touched the scar on Hongjoong's forehead from an accident long ago, Hongjoong looked at the other's face and kissed Seonghwa's hand. Then everything blurred, leaving only the whispers of the two of them. Gently but clearly

“Happy New Year”

A thick file was lifted off the table. Seonghwa rearranges his desk space after his old one leaves. He just got a job here. Famous radio station in Korea After 3 months of graduation, it was considered a good job. He was determined to do well even though things were rough right now.

At the apartment I've lived in since one year. Seonghwa sat and waited with bated breath, watching the clock hand start to approach 12. He wanted Hongjoong to come in time.

But it seemed that what he had hoped for was too much. By the time Hongjoong used his arm to scoop Seonghwa off the sofa, it was already 1:00 a.m. As soon as Seonghwa felt it, he jerked away and stood up. Looking at Hongjoong with eyes that wanted an answer

“Can you not look at me with those eyes?”

“But it's happening again.”

"I'm sorry I didn't make it in time to celebrate, but it was all work."

“But I have work to do and I'm trying to finish everything so I can sit here and wait for you like this.”

“You calm down first.”

"You promised, but you couldn't keep it."

“Do you think I want it to be like this?”

“But it seems like you didn't try hard enough, or else it would turn out like this?”

“So, you don't know what I'm going through. The work I do is not as comfortable as hers. Sitting in an air-conditioned room, clearing documents and giving orders to others. No need to think, no pressure. So don't say I didn't try hard enough. I've tried so hard in this crazy relationship.”

“Even though you tried, you still defaulted on me many times. Make a lunch date with your parents. Make a lunch date with friends. New Year2 years ago Not including the regular dinner and movie nights that you couldn't give to each other. Every time it ends with me having to make excuses for you all the time. Sitting and watching movies alone over and over until people looked at me like I was crazy for trying to be on my own.

Until I felt that if I didn't have you at all it would be no different.”

Hongjoong ruffles his hair and circles the room. He couldn't do anything and this was beyond repair.

“If you will be quiet like this, Hongjoong. Please just be alone.”

Hongjoong grabbed Seonghwa's arm. For a moment, Seonghwa had hope that Hongjoong would hold back and start again after hundreds of times he had tried and failed miserably.

"You're here. I'll go myself."

Tears fell on the floor But Hongjoong didn't see him and just walked past. The sound of the door closing left only Seonghwa in silence and a soft but unbearably painful cry.

After 2 years of trying Hongjoong pushed himself to be where he wanted to be. He plays the keyboard according to the sketched musical notes. If I finish composing this song, I will close another job. He wanted to finish writing the song by tonight but it seemed too much. And tonight was New Year's night, so he packed his bags and walked out of the company. His steps were as fast as if someone was waiting, but when he opened the door to the room, everything was empty.

On the bed, Hongjoong closed his eyes to sleep but his brain wouldn't let him. Instead, the image replayed over and over was an image he wanted to forget. Hongjoong turned over to make him more relaxed. If he still isn't asleep in the next 10 minutes, he'll get up and drink the soju he bought. I couldn't sleep well and had to drug myself.

For a moment he felt that everything was so light that he could actually close his eyes. He relaxed as he saw the dreamy image of white clouds. Ah, he was finally going to sleep.

“The clouds are so beautiful. Just like a cat.”

Hongjoong heard a voice from far away. The person speaking is wearing a high school uniform. Sitting and eating rainbow ice cream

“Like a cat, like you.” This voice was very familiar. It was his own voice. It took him a moment to understand. The memories that had been kept away now inevitably flashed brightly.

“Why do you always have to treat me like a cat?” Seonghwa said stubbornly.

“Why do you want it to be the same?”

“If I say you look like a dog, will you like it?”

“The cat I mean is a cute and naughty cat. It's not an insult at all. And the dog you think is cute?”

Seonghwa shook his head, Hongjoong wasn't pleased, and Seonghwa laughed even more than before until his male friend sitting on the other side turned to look at him. When Hongjoong felt strange, he invited Seonghwa home.

“Happy New Year”

Auntie Han said, handing over a gift. Hongjoong accepted it but inside he was nervous. It's now 5:30 p.m. Seonghwa's house is only 20 minutes away. If you ride a bike, it's only 10 minutes. So Hongjoong gathered up his courage and went to tell his mother that he had to run an errand with a friend. His mother was displeased and trained him for a while and then allowed him to come out.

The sound of shoes rubbing against the paved road caused scratches because Hongjoong's bicycle didn't have brakes. He dragged the scrap metal next to the bushes and picked up a few appropriately sized rocks. Send it with just the right amount of force. The lump hit the window pane, making a sound. Seonghwa appeared.

“Come downstairs,” Hongjoong whispered. Seonghwa smiled and nodded. Hongjoong was a little surprised that Seonghwa wasn't stubborn this time.

Or was Seonghwa waiting for him as well? Probably not.

The back door opened and Seonghwa walked out in dark blue pajamas.

“Why are you sleeping so early, aren't you celebrating?” Hongjoong greeted.

“Celebrating already with mom and dad. I had no friends anywhere so I went to bed.”

“Then I was right in coming to you. You mean stopping by to see you on the way to buy soju and snacks. Buy at that store that you often go to. I didn't intend to come see her, I just stopped by. It's not the same.”

“I know, but I'm glad you stopped by. And what is that in your hand?”

Hongjoong looked down at the item in his hand.

It was true that he had intended to give this to Seonghwa.

“It's a gift.”

Hongjoong handed it to the other party. Seonghwa was surprised that the box had already been opened. But he took out the contents of the box. It was a gray scarf that Auntie Han had just given Hongjoong. But when he saw that it might be more suitable for Seonghwa, he brought it to her.

“It's beautiful, thank you.”

“Well, it's cold right now, you can use it now.”

Seonghwa followed along with Hongjoong's help. The scarf was finally more beautiful than before because it was on Seonghwa's body.

Hongjoong stood still, thinking about what to say next. Or should I go back? He hadn't been this awkward in a long time.

“Then let's go back.”

“Oh,” Seonghwa replied so timidly that he himself felt hurt. But all he could do was turn around and walk away. The fact that he had brought himself all the way here to meet the cat made him realize something.

This isn't normal.

Do I feel something about that cat?

Is that right?

before the back door of Seonghwa's house closed. Hongjoong rode his bicycle up the grass towards that gate and shouted loudly.

“Seonghwa, wait.”

“Well, I think it's strange. It's very unusual. Now what I'm going to say is, it's us. 2 people have already gone to university to continue their studies. Do you mind if I tell you to get together?”

“I got an apartment at a good price.”

“Actually, I want to be with you. And now I didn't intend to come to you to buy anything. What do you say?"

When Seonghwa heard what the person in front of him said He complied even though he was surprised at first. But it's true what Hongjoong said. This isn't normal.

“Sure, Hongjoong, why not?

Happy New Year

na.”

Hongjoong rode his bicycle home. Overjoyed, he forgot that his bicycle had no brakes and crashed into the garage. His head exploded and that New Year's night he ended up in the hospital.

After Hongjoong let the memories flow without trying to stop them. He himself perceived the details so clearly that he could not resist sleeping, so he got up and went into the kitchen.

On the other hand, Seonghwa was trying to fall asleep as well, but old memories came to the fore. He got up from the bed and decided not to sleep. He poured soju into a glass and drank it, confused but empty at the same time.

28-year-old Seonghwa walked along the banks of the Han River on New Year's night, everything looking beautiful, almost perfect. Both hands were tucked into the pockets of his coat, searching for warmth. Seonghwa's heart was still busy searching for something.

Because now he has been promoted to another level, there is no need to go to the office every day. Later, I had time to think about many things. He got most of what he wanted. But some things still remain unresolved even after many years have passed. Some things are still there even though we ignore them and ignore them, but then they come back to us all the time to hurt us.

It wasn't like Seonghwa had lived in the past for all these years. He has a good job. I have friends who hang out with me and even have boyfriends. He tried to live his life but in the end things didn't get better. Because of that, he canceled his appointment with a colleague and chose to come here quietly by himself.

Amidst the happiness that surrounded him, Seonghwa couldn't feel any of it. He looked far away at the river reflecting the light of the fireworks ahead.

“Happy New Year

Na Hongjoong.”

Once again, he spoke alone, hoping it would reach the person he named. He could only hope because there was nothing he could do.

Hongjoong walks along the bridge with a bottle of soju in his hand. He probably used it to clear his past memories like usual. But it refused to go away. He moved his eyes to observe the water in front of him and the place next to the large tree. A familiar figure, although his vision was blurred a bit, he remembered it well. Hongjoong ran towards him similar to the day he ran towards Seonghwa behind the house.

The sound of footsteps behind made Seonghwa startled. He looked back and thought that maybe the words he just said really reached Hongjoong.

Their eyes shone like the water in front of them. It was both sad but filled with happiness. Seonghwa wanted to walk in so badly but he couldn't tell if Hongjoong wanted him to do that. Is the rift from the past still within Hongjoong? But to Seonghwa, it disappeared into the distance. Before Seonghwa could answer, Hongjoong said something that finally brought tears to his eyes.

“The scarf is still as beautiful as ever on her.”

“I'm glad you still see it the way it was before.”

“I can't believe you kept it.”

“I don't believe it myself either. In fact, I hid it in the closet. But I had to pick it up and wear it anyway. Well, you kindly brought me a bicycle in the middle of the night.”

“Yes, I broke my head that night too.”

Seonghwa smiled through tears. He walked towards Hongjoong hugged Seonghwa for sure. It had been a long time since I had touched him closely. The memories that had flowed past had now stopped, leaving only the moment in front of him that he wanted to know. Seonghwa's heart was filled.

Too much time wasted between the two of them not spending together like they should have. But he doesn't regret it because in the past, what happened just had to happen. Time is running out to find the wrong person. At that time, everyone was trying to live their best life. And now the two have met. at the correct time

This is more meaningful than anything. From now on, sweet memories will not be able to hurt them again. Or even some bad memories as well. They left it here and started over. Living every day with Hongjoong holding Seonghwa in his arms and teasing each other before breakfast like always.

“Happy New year”