hello

This short story is a short story that aims to find the meaning of love. and immortality

I cannot give an answer to any matter.

But I hope that the reader When I read this short story. You will be able to give yourself the answer.

And if this short story can help readers express their opinions.

I would be extremely happy.

Lonely Heart Club

You can follow my movements on Facebook -

https://www.facebook.com/Lonely-Heart-Club-105130907836072

The morning sunlight hits the pupils of the eyes. I squinted my eyes slowly. Everything seemed blurry when the eyes were exposed to light. I used my right hand to rub my eyes hard a few times before using my other hand to push myself up from the soft bed. Look towards the window on the left. Beyond the window was a view of the city that was familiar to the eyes.

I sat there staring at it for a while without thinking anything. This is my number two entertainment in the day. Not thinking about anything is the best kind of thinking. Because in the presence of time, the thoughts of living things seem to be worthless. thoughtlessness Letting everything happen is infinity.

I got up and washed my face and eyes then went downstairs to greet my father and mother. Our house is a two-story detached house on the outskirts of town. My father works for a company so it is convenient to go to work. Mother is a housewife so she can go buy things from the nearby market. This place has been the base of our family since I can remember.

Even though the condition is a bit old, it is still considered strong. I saw that before my family moved here, there was a family that used to live here. But all of them had accidents and died.

When I finished eating breakfast, I left for school as usual. Ten minutes by bus from the entrance of the alley. Walk for another five minutes. My school is not very big, but there are many class appointments that travel into the school. I walked into the crowd as usual.

When I got to class, I sat down at my usual desk. In fact, my room has study desks in pairs. But my room has 39 people. So I voluntarily volunteered to be the only person sitting there. I hung my bag on the corner of the chair and sat down. He turned to open his bag and pulled out a notebook.

It was an old note with a girl's name written on the cover in neat, clean, and beautiful handwriting. I smiled when I saw the handwriting. I like her handwriting. It's handwriting that makes me feel comfortable when I see it.

“Today I went to class later than every day. Because I woke up late. I ran until I was out of breath and threw myself down a familiar hallway. While getting on the bus, I ran into a friend in my room. Let's talk a little. They say it's strange that I woke up late. What does everyone see me like? I am one person. It's not unusual to make a mistake, right?

The afternoon session is physical education. Why do they think it's a good thing to take outdoor subjects in broad daylight? I was panting as I finished my warm-up lap. I'm sweating a lot. What should I do here?”

All of them are written in a clean line. I read it and smiled. I like her point of view. She is a perfectionist but at the same time a normal person. She doesn't talk about her own achievements. But it would be more of a mistake. But even so, her goodness is reflected in these orderly letters.

Another thing is that she is a person who truly loves to read. She always left a small review at the end of her diary. Today is the next episode of Tolstoy's "Confession" that she had left over from yesterday She seems to really like this book. She loves reading and she wants others to do the same. She once wrote that she had recommended several friends to read books she liked.

Of course, most of them refused.

“Is this free?”

A greeting sounded from the side. My seat is on the last row. She was standing on the right hand side. I quickly closed the diary and turned towards the voice. She was a classmate sitting at the front of the room. Wear a school uniform consisting of a white shirt and a mid-length skirt.

Her natural brown hair was pulled into a ponytail and tied with a blue ribbon. The face shape is slender and oval. The face is as beautiful as an adult's, but there is still a stubbornness of a child in the eyes.

"I'm free. What's wrong?"

I answered the girl. It was only seven in the morning. There is still half an hour before lining up. I answered honestly. She didn't change her expression, grabbed my right arm and spoke.

“Come along, please.”

I frantically put the diary under the table and trotted after her. Although still confused about what happened But until then, I followed her lead all the way to the back of the school building. There was no one there except the two of us. One might be because it's still early. The second is that there aren't many people traveling around here. She let go of my hand and stood with her back to me.

“Is there something wrong?”

I asked

“I...Mr...”

she whispered So I put my face close to her ear. She winced and backed away again.

“...(smiles) Is something wrong?”

“Huh?... Er... Um...”

“The truth is, I think I've already prepared myself. But as soon as he dragged him, his preparations all fell to the ground. Please give me some time.”

She spoke quickly, breathing in and out slowly. I stood and waited.

"I.."

She seemed to have prepared herself.

“...I like you.”

Said in a full voice and raised his face, which was bowed down. On the glass, there was clearly a bright red stain. There were small water droplets scattered around the corners of his eyes.

“So..”

I smiled, lowering my head.

"Sorry, I already have someone I like."

Immediately refused Giving up a chance is the worst thing in a situation like this. It will only give you pain. I don't believe in saying that we tried dating before then. Love must be serious and steadfast. That's my idea.

She was stunned for a moment. Tears slowly flowed from those big eyes. I felt sorry for her. But pity is a sharp knife. Just getting close to it can hurt people. I stood there silently, smiling at her, hoping she would get over me.

“Do you... love the owner of that book?”

She said after a while. Maybe she noticed me while reading it.

“Are you exchanging diaries? Who is he? Is it someone in the room?”

Questions poured out of that little mouth.

“No, he used to be a student here. But now I'm not here anymore.”

Answer truthfully

“??? Are you transferring to study somewhere else?”

“Whatever you say, it's not true.”

He sighed and turned to look at her again. A breeze flows through the space between the buildings.

“She's already dead.”

"look for?"

“She is dead. Many years ago by accident"

“What do you mean?”

She made a puzzled expression.

“I like that girl. The person who lived in my house many years before me is now dead.”

I said each word clearly.

“Then how can you love him? Has he already died?”

She said, unable to believe her own ears.

“Why can't I love? She's in that book. In that book there was her. You are still alive.”

"No, it's not. She's dead. That's just her memory, isn't it?"

“Maybe that's true. But, I fell in love with you. Everything about her, her handwriting, her thoughts, her actions. her daily life Every action that the diary records is about you that I love.”

“Are you crazy? She's dead, you said it yourself."

“Yes, she is dead. But your soul is still in that book. My love will still be there as long as I'm breathing.”

I said every word firmly. Love must be serious and steadfast. It is a mountain that will never fall. It is the wind that blows and the sun that warms the soul. When I read that diary, I felt like a warm steam was clinging to my heart. It's like being healed. When reading her story

Imagine her expression. to her face Those things make me happy.

“I love you in that diary, and that will never change.”

“But you…”

She was quiet halfway through. she is smart Probably knew that it would be useless to speak further, so he kept quiet, lowered his head, as if he was thinking about something. before raising his head again

"Aren't you... in pain?"

“What do you mean, pain? Is love a beautiful thing? I just miss that girl. Just reading that book makes me happy. Where will I have pain?”

“She is dead. You can't see her anymore. can't talk We can't touch each other anymore."

“Can't hang out together. Let's go see a movie together. Sitting holding hands He looked at the people passing by and laughed happily. You will sit alone, smile alone, talk alone, hold your own hands, look at people and smile bitterly because there is no one beside you. This is your pain, isn't it?”

“Dammit, what you said is just nonsense that people do to heal their weak hearts. It is the life of people who live in this moment. It is infinity.”

“But that is our life. We are born, we die. Life is short. Therefore, we must at least have someone to console us from the sorrows of life. move on But you don't have that. That notebook won't help you. You will have to live alone.”

“She talks nonsense. That is the limit of life. But my love is not My love is infinite, never ending, no matter where I am in time, I will still love you. You don't understand this. She's just a bully. I'll go, I'll get in line soon."

She doesn't know what to talk about. I'm sick of standing and continuing to speak. I turned away and headed towards the classroom. Grab the book from under the table and run up to the rooftop. This place is my only secret. Because I accidentally found the key to the deck door on the walkway. And I didn't even think about taking it back. Because the view of the city from this rooftop is so beautiful. The line-up bell rang and I lied to her.

I didn't plan on getting in line in the first place, so I took out the headphones connected to my phone and listened to music.

“Today was a bright morning as usual. I come straight to school like every time. But this time I also met a kitten, all white and fluffy, so cute. I bent down to play with it in front of the alley of my house. It's small and cute. It looks like it's still a kitten. While playing, I heard a hissing sound from behind. When I turned around, I saw a big cat that was about to scratch me. Calm down.

I cried out before pulling away. Oh, I wasn't going to hurt the kitten. I suspect that cat might be his mother.

Today's math class is very difficult. I fell behind at many points. But that's not a problem. The problem is when I ask the smart people in the room. They kept saying that I was already talented and didn't need them to teach me. Oh, why did I have the image of a prodigy like that? Last semester I only got a 1.5 in math.

In the afternoon, I was a little distracted. I don't know what's wrong with it, but I drop things so often that my friends say hello. Sometimes while walking, we stumble and fall in a place where there is nothing. What's wrong with me? Is your brain damaged from this morning's math? Go there, ha ha ha.

Ah, but I forgot that I have to leave tomorrow. Tomorrow is a long holiday! I get home and then prepare my clothes and things. I don't have a lot of stuff. Most of the time it's more of a book. Haha. Once I'm done preparing, I sit down and write a diary. Forget that tomorrow you have to go on a trip with your parents. Knowing this, I should probably borrow it.”

Crime and Punishment" But it's okay. You can come back and read more.”

In the end, she did not continue reading the book. Because her car had an accident and fell from a height of hundreds of meters. Everyone there died, including herself.

I'm sitting on the rooftop I thought about the words of the girl who came to tell me she loved me. She said my love was wrong. Loving someone who is dead is impossible. But how can it be impossible when you're still here? In this notebook I held it in my arms.

At that time I felt it. That it's so cold That notebook that I saw only as an illusion. It was all just a representation of her thoughts of the dead girl. She would never get to play with that kitten again. Never again will I have to study the math that she hates so much.

Will never read the book you left off again. She stopped completely. The feelings I had been repressing began to surge again. It's a feeling that I've always blocked out.

“Longing” Yes, what the girl said was right.

I'm in pain

It hurts that she's dead.

It hurts that I can't see her.

It hurts that I can't talk to her.

The pain of not being able to travel together

It hurts that we can't go see a movie together.

The pain of not being able to hold hands

It hurts to sit alone.

It hurts to smile alone.

I used to think that this was just a hoax. It is the honey of life. But it's very attractive to me. I can't resist those feelings. I tried my best to resist it. But those words are what breaks the dam. A feeling of longing invaded my heart.

Those pains burn me The warm light that once covered my heart became hotter. The force of attraction seemed stronger than ever. It drags me down into darkness. I want to play that kitten with you. I want to teach mathematics. I want to be the one to watch your way. I want to sit and read books next to each other in the library. Recommend books to each other

Laugh together while talking about small things.

But her life was over. A person's life is not eternal, when the time comes it will end. Her time has come. She's dead, but I'm still here. I hate that fact. I want to touch you I want to know you. I want you to be eternal. But her body, which had fallen to death, could never be recovered. She would still die no matter how much pain I felt.

So I thought about becoming eternal. It is the true truth of life. You are eternity Sleeping in the eternal, peaceful realm of death, I will go to you. I held the notebook in my chest and gently pushed myself off the edge of the deck.

and fell upon her