At the Edge of Insanity


Chapter III

M.

“Yukkyum Yuk.. did you hear that?” I heard Bambam say that for a long time. "Why did you lock the room..."

His voice was almost pleading.

Crack...

I stood and watched the door slowly open and Bam, he rushed in in the blink of an eye, as if this was his last chance to seize it.

Bang...

The sound of the door closing entered the auditory system.

I'm numb.

I walked slowly back to the room. I walked past Jinyoung who looked at me as if he wanted to say something. But in the end, he just stared at me until I was out of sight. I opened the door, fell down, buried my face in the pillow, sobbing until my throat ached. Praying for you in the morning I woke up. BamBam walks up to say good morning and smiles.

He would make me feel like everything that happened was just a dream.

The next morning, Bambam didn't do that...

“Is anyone volunteering to share a bedroom among themselves? The staff just wanted a room to store things from the fans," leader Jaebum said during breakfast. Everyone looked up from their plates to look at him. “Maybe only for a couple of months. As we all know, once the new dormitory is finished we will move into a new room."

“I'm okay,” BamBam volunteered almost immediately. "Me and Yugyeom"

I put down my spoon and chopsticks and stared at him intently. I feel so nauseous that I want to vomit up this morning's boiled pork bones and stir-fried kimchi.

BamBam didn't look at me.

“BamBam is okay, Yugyeom is okay, right?” I heard Jaebum ask again.

I glanced over at Yugyeom, who looked embarrassed. I cursed him in my heart until I couldn't speak.

Okay, if BamBam wants to do it like this...

“Hey Mark, what are you looking at?” Jackson, who was eating on the left side of me, shouted loudly. “This is on the dining room table. Even if you can't take it, why don't you finish eating first?"

Jackson teased me as he leaned over to look at the phone screen. A soft moan escaped him causing BamBam to stand up. There was a loud sound of a chair falling onto the kitchen floor. Bam was angry. I looked up and stared at him, who was clenching his fists until his hands were shaking.

"Hey Bam, you don't have to be in such a hurry. You can see everyone. Hey hey, look at this. The kid in the clip has such a cute voice."

I saw Yugyeom frown as he looked at BamBam, who grabbed me by the collar and threw his strongest punch. My face turned at the impact. My vision went blurry for an instant. Feeling numb on the left cheek My head ached and smelled of blood.

BamBam got on top of me and was ready to pound without stopping. I grabbed his skinny, almost breakable wrist. As everyone looked on in confusion and tried to intervene.

“You're crazy!!!” BamBam shouted at the top of his lungs. His face was red and his whole body was shaking.

Unfazed, a sneer played at the corner of my mouth.

“Who is really crazy? Who's really lost their mind?!" I yelled and squeezed his wrist tightly. "Are you embarrassed? You don't want anyone to know? Did you see other people's heads with him as well? Bam! Or are you afraid they will see each other? Answer me!?”

Bambam gritted his teeth.

“I want it to be known. I'll open it for you to see..." My whole body was so numb that I didn't know what I was doing or saying."

If only he knew how low you are, whoring yourself to me to get things”

Bambam screamed loudly.

SHUT IT! MARK!!!”

“Oh, you care? You little piece of...”

BamBam jerked his wrists free from their restraints before reaching out and squeezing my neck tightly. I can only laugh

Everyone rushed in to separate us.

“What the hell? Are you two insane!?”

Jackson shouted loudly as he dragged me away from Bambam by the neck. I watched the child I loved so dearly tremble and cry with anger in Yugyeom's arms. The child was rubbing his head while whispering Bambam in his ear, "What's going on? What's going on? Calm down."

I almost went crazy I watched the two people's mouths move closer, almost colliding in front of my eyes. I don't know what rotten things happened in that room last night. But this isn't it. Bambam can't do this.

"Yuk, don't pay attention to people like that. Trust me."

Yugyeom nodded slowly, holding both of BamBam's cheeks.

I tried to get up and punch, strangle, kill, curse, curse, anything that would distance the two people there from each other. Jackson held me back.

“Chill, man”

he whispered

“What are you two doing!?” I shouted, trying to twist myself out of Jackson's arms. Jaebum and others

BamBam turned and looked at me wide-eyed. He hissed, "Can't you still see?"

'Stupid bastard'

Even if you don't speak aloud I read Bambam's lips.

That night I sat in the corner of my dark bedroom.

...Where did I go wrong? BamBam used to love me so much, so much, so much that I can't imagine the state he's in now. All of those things back then were real and I wasn't dreaming. I miss the image of that little child. I picked up the phone Enter Bambam's birth date to unlock.

I scrolled through to find a video file that I watched morning, noon, evening, and before bed.'

I love you the best'

I looked at BamBam at ten years old, three months and seven days old, drawing pictures. He smiles at the camera.

“What are you doing BamBam?” my voice asked.

“Bam is doing his homework.” Two little hands were busy with chalk. "The teacher asked me to draw the person the students loved the most."

“Wow, that's so good. And who is BamBam drawing? Huh?”

“Bam drew Mark. Because Bam wants Brother Mark to keep it." BamBam lowered his head, engrossed in the drawing again. "Bam wants to draw mom and dad. But mom and dad are far away. Now Bam is closest to Mark. So Bam, I'll let Mark keep it."

“Haha, you're so cute.” I saw my hand reach out and rub little Bambam's head until his hair was messy.

“Well, Bam, I love Mark. Bam wanted Mark to smile and was very happy. BamBam, I love Mark very much." That BamBam smiled until his eyes narrowed. I remember myself almost melting onto the floor.

“You love me the best right?”

“I love you, love you, love you”

BamBam said, leaning forward. He kissed the front of the camera lens.

“I love you the best, Mark Hyung, forever and ever”

I heard myself laughing happily.

At that time, I seriously thought about that ten year old boy's words about his forever. It means forever and ever and there is no way to change.

The video clip turned off and the entire room fell into complete darkness once again. I pressed replay over and over. In his other hand he held a piece of paper with a chalk drawing of two boys holding hands on a trip to the mountains. There were distorted letters that said Bam ♥ Mark.

I smile widely...

o0o

B.

“Yugyeom!! BamBam!!" The sound of Jaebeom's brother pounding on the door loudly said, "Yuk Bam, hey, you two wake up quickly!"

I raised my arms and looked at Yugyeom who was sleepily opening the door. before glancing at the clock Seven minutes past two

As soon as the door pin unlocked, Jaebeom hyung almost yanked it open.

“Hey, hurry up, wake up now. Mark had to be rushed to the hospital. That guy slashed his wrist and was unconscious.”

“What!?” I opened my eyes wide.

“I don't know what it is. Blood covered the entire room. There's no need to ask now. Jackson and the manager were carrying him to the car to the hospital."

“You two, Youngjae and the others, change your clothes and hurry up later. Okay, I'll go first.”

I stood and processed the events and words before running after Jaebeom hyung, not paying attention to the clothes he had told me earlier. "I'll go too!"

I ran without my shoes on.

I sat and listened to the heart rate monitor sound in a steady rhythm. Looking at the IV line and Brother Mark who was lying motionless on the white bed. After giving blood and trying his best to save his life, Brother Mark was still able to live and breathe on this narrow bed.

“What are you doing?” I whispered to myself. "Do you plan to blame each other?"

I'm bored.. I hate him for being clingy and not going anywhere. And what a stupid thing this is. I endured so much love that Brother Mark gave me until it made me suffocate. I really don't know where to put it. While I'm so fed up with him But besides Mark Besides him, who else is there in this world? To love me so much

Will there be another person who is willing to give me everything? And by everything he means, I know it really means everything. The evidence was in my eyes and as everyone had just seen.

I stood up and walked over to pick up Mark's cell phone that was placed next to the bed. Enter the unlock code with the same number as Yugyeom or my birthday number. I roll my eyes, thinking about the conversation I had with Yugyeom last night. When Yugyeom almost... Must be called Shade, my head left the room. Acting like I didn't exist until I exploded with emotion.

Throwing things in his room The hair at that time clearly looked like Mark's avatar.

“It's not embarrassing, right? Where did you come from to think that I should care about what you're going to do to Mark or anyone else in secret? Please leave my room. You're wasting time sleeping. BamBam."

I began to understand Mark's feelings when I heard Yugyeom say those words. My heart ached to the point where I wanted to rip his flesh to shreds while I couldn't because, okay... I should have fallen head over heels in love with that guy without realizing it.

“Oh, Kim Yugyeom, swear to death, let me ask. Who would use their bandmate's birthday number to set their phone unlock number? Swear loudly. If you didn't think anything of it."

I laughed when I thought of that giant kid's face after I finished speaking. After that, I asked to date him. I said, 'Would you like to try it? Go eat, watch a movie, hold hands. Or more than that, it's up to you if you want to do it. How do you get it over with? Just skip the flirting part, okay?' After he reluctantly agreed. We both laughed. But it swelled so much. I can't tell you the feeling.

It's only one day that I'll be able to be happy like this with Yuk. I thought before smiling sadly.

But these people really are...

I stood looking at the phone that I wiped off Mark's blood stains until it looked like new. I stared at it for a while longer before walking towards Yugyeom. I scrolled through and clicked on the video that Mark played in the middle of the dining room table this morning. I handed it to Yugyeom who took it from his hand without thinking. He sat and watched silently for fifteen seconds before handing it back to me even though it wasn't finished yet.

"Please stop, I'm going to vomit."

“Oh, um,” I pursed my lips, “Probably like that. I'm sorry you had to show this."

“How old were you then?”

"Probably ten, twelve, thirteen. I don't know. I can't remember."

“Do you do that often?”

I bit my cheek and didn't answer.

“No answer means yes.” Yugyeom looked at the nails hanging a picture that was probably much more interesting than my face right now.

“How do I take it?”

“How about what? Is it about the thing I wrestled with you the other night? I told you that I would take responsibility for my whole life, haha."

I loudly punched Yugyeom's shoulder as my face turned red. "Will play again"

Yugyeom's laughter echoed loudly in the room.

“Do you love him?” Yugyeom asked softly.

"I love you"

"Please continue talking like a brother to cheer me up."

"Benefactor type Probably about that. But if it were to be like that, it would probably be with you.”

"Uh, I'm embarrassed," Yugyeom cleared his throat, "What did you do?"

Yugyeom raised his eyebrows. When I don't answer right away

"It doesn't have to be a lot of detail, just a model, approximately what level?"

"Aside from putting your tongue in your mouth, There's nothing more than that."

“Oh, you can say it.” Yugyeom pretends to vomit, mocking me. "I told you not to go into details."

I let out a smile. Honestly, I like Yugyeom. I like being with him. I want to get on my knees and propose to him right here, but..

“If I do it too, Bam…” Yugyeom slowly turned to look at me leaning against the wall.

“Huh? meaning"

“If I do it, do it like Brother Mark did.” My hands started to feel cold. "Act like a cornered dog. That leaves no choice Demanding attention from Mr. What will Bam do?

“Stop it, stop talking now. Don't even think about it."

“Do you think Brother Mark is stupid or smart for daring to do something like this? The result is that you were able to break up with me after just one day of dating. That's awesome."

“Kim Yugyeom, I don't like to talk about this.”

“You're crazy. Make others go crazy Being close to anyone makes that person go insane." Yugyeom squeezed his hand. "No, I'm not angry that I'll be left behind like this. But what can I do? Some people have already used the suicide joke. Who will be next? Do you remember the day you went to record the radio show? Did you see Youngjae's face when he answered his question? Haha.

I bet I dream of your face at night.”

“Yuk, stop talking.”

“Why?!” Yugyeom slammed himself up. "Let's go back to the country. If you stay there, there will only be problems."

I gasped, “What? Why would you say that?!" I almost burst into tears.

“Of all the people left, I care about you the most. Why don't you understand? Are you going to let me keep going forward with you and not see what Brother Mark has done? I came to Korea and I want to be a singer, Yuk, not a murderer."

“If you want to say something, say it. You've never done anything wrong before."

“Then what did I do wrong?!” I raged, both saddened and angry. But this regret is really the greatest.

“I have reached my limit. Everyone must have reached their limit. What else do you think about the band when it's about to collapse? Tomorrow the news will come out about Brother Mark. Whatever you say, try to imagine for yourself. I didn't do anything wrong. It's just that we're unlucky. We shouldn't have met in the first place."

He walked out of the room just like that.

Yugyeom is probably angry. He was probably just upset that I broke up with him. Hopefully tomorrow he will calm down and talk to me nicely like normal.

But will I get it? That one was seen as a bright kid but stubborn and used to play.

Ah... I'm actually shedding tears. I'm so sad. My chest hurts.

I sobbed.

Yugyeom is so mean. Say anything without thinking about the feelings of the person listening. I'm starting to understand Mark a little bit now.

Hmm... I remember there was sleeping pills in my bag that I asked the doctor for before coming to Korea. For when you can't sleep and miss home.

Let's eat a little.

I searched for the medicine bottle in the backpack that the manager who carried the luggage brought me later.

I'm afraid I can't sleep because I feel so uncomfortable with Yugyeom's words.

I took three handfuls of medicine and put them into my mouth. Probably about thirty tablets. Like this, you should be able to sleep comfortably.

I feel like it's not enough and maybe I'm not sleeping well enough. So I ate the rest of the whole bottle.

I drank some water and then went to rest on the chair next to Mark. I lay on my arm and breathe slowly. His shirt was all wet because he still couldn't stop crying.

I shook Mark's hand and gently apologized.

That's all I remember and I never woke up again.

But without me, Yugyeom would be satisfied.

I don't know if I need to change the band's name to

GOT6

Or not...

END

TALK:

Bend over and let me flog you. Haha. It's been too long, almost two weeks.

T T

I've just had free time, sitting here typing since this evening. But in the end, it's all over (heh). I really want to write another story. Playing around in your head It's like the emotional level of the people in the story is a little more normal, haha.

I'd like to reply to your comments. I like to talk and I'm impressed with everyone.

hebaraki –

After reading up to this point, you probably already know what everyone does next. Hey, we don't dare say who's the best in this matter. Thank you.

hebaraki

I like and read until the end.

natty –

It's finished, the burden is gone. I really like Yukbam in reality too. I like it when you caress. It's so fun. Haha.

ShyShin –

Everyone ended beautifully. Equally / got slapped

SunRune –

Thank you for following. It's finished.

OK GO – 5555

We really like you

OK GO

Said I'm more afraid of BamBam than Mark. Seriously < haha ​​I like it.

littlepenz –

Scream. Thank you for liking it. In conclusion, now that I know, I still agree with Bam. Haha. I read the comments and it was really fun. Thank you for following until the end. If we end up like this, we might get scolded by you. Haha. How do you agree with me? (I want to change it to a long story as well. But made the wrong choice in the first place. And I don't know where to change it.

T T )

Shabu - Thank you for liking it. Continue until the end. I want to make it long as well. If I had more time You'll be able to come down quite often. And everyone in the story would probably be a treated version of Mark Bam Yuk, softer than this. Haha.

KissmeMoncher –

The real Mark is handsome. In the fic I wanted to tease you haha.

Not random fantasies, just thorough fantasies - I'm finished. I'm confused, what do you think?

YBM –

I've come and it's finished. Thank you for reading ^^

AmorousTK –

Again, I read my own comments and I can't sleep anymore. I thought I was falling in love with a guy. No. Sitting and reading the comments, my heart was pounding. I felt like I was like a diamond cylinder like Brother Mark. I myself made a really good comment. He was like he was delirious and excited. I read and laughed and couldn't sleep. Wow, it was long too. It was fun to read. I felt guilty that Deng had to go to the trouble of turning on the computer.

Thank you for reading until now. He's finished. He wants to go home and kiss. He's serious.

KATOL_039 –

Give it to me because there's no one left. Haha.

HoneyJ –

Thank you for following. In summary, it's difficult for everyone to understand. Let me tell you.

GiNg – 5555

That's right. The marker is strong.

Fungus - Scream, I'm sorry. Last week it didn't seem like the full content was posted (because I was stupid), so I posted again in the morning. Thank you for reading all the way here.

Soull –

Come on now yourself. I read it and got in. It's fun to read. I read it and felt guilty. I read it and I was like, oh bam, that's bad. How did I dress it? Haha. Thank you for liking it. If there is a problem BamBam will be cuter, he promises.

Thank you everyone, every comment that read until the end again ♥