Title

Two Lilies Bloom upon a Wordless Roof (言葉のない屋上には二輪の百合が咲いている)

Author's name

Kannazuki (かんなづき)

English version translated by: Two Lilies Bloom upon a Wordless Roof. By Kannazuki. | sakkamade

Japanese novel: https://kakuyomu.jp/works/1177354054917607095/episodes/1177354054917609531

Refusal to speak in certain situations

I started having this symptom when I was in elementary school.

I want to speak, but I can't. I can talk to my family normally. But at school Instead, I felt nervous and froze. There were words that I wanted to say but couldn't make out. My throat blocks those words.

Even though I want to meet many people Lots of talking and burst out laughing

But I can't do it.

People around me never understand me.

while studying I was scolded by my teacher because I couldn't read aloud.

I couldn't even eat lunch at school. Everyone looked at me strangely.

“Can you say “ah”?”

I couldn't do it, and I was teased for it.

But even then, I couldn't fight back. It's really frustrating.

I can't express my gratitude, "Thank you." I can't apologize, "I'm sorry."

I can't even speak "good morning"

I forgot how to smile a long time ago.

Until an angel came to find someone like me.

"Minami-chan, good morning!"

Hinamura-san who sat next to me when I was in middle school. 2 I used to call you by your real name, Kyoka-chan, but only in my heart...

She patted my shoulder gently. then smile at me The smile that sparkled beneath her walnut colored bob was so adorable.

Because I couldn't answer that. “Good morning,” I smiled awkwardly and bowed my head in response.

Even if this… is the best I can do…

Kyoka-chan is the hero who saved me from bullying.

You..are the only one who calls me a friend.

“Minami-chan, there's nothing strange. She is very cute anyway.”

I still clearly remember the time she spoke and hugged me tightly after dismissing the person who had teased me.

Her gentle voice resembled the texture of vanilla ice cream.

The scent of your flower shampoo that I inhale into my lungs

The warmth throbbed in the depths of her soft breasts. which I can feel through the uniform

When you're separated from me Fix my messy hair with your tiny hands and my slippery glasses with both of your hands. I can clearly see your smile reflected in the world.

"I want to be friends with you, Minami-chan."

she said so

That summer I spent most of my time together with her on the school roof.

Mornings when no one is around, lunch breaks, after school.

The moment we let loose with the summer breeze blowing through our white sailor uniforms. Sometimes accompanied by the scent of flower shampoo, at first glance it seems like a mysterious moment without words.

Just then I felt some happiness.

"Hey, Minami-chan."

'Huh?'

After the first semester when the exams are over. While waiting for the summer break As my eardrums vibrated with the cry of cicadas, she suddenly spoke up.

"I like you, Minami-chan."

'Eh...?'

She blushed slightly as she lowered her head to hide her lips. The wind blew her pristine white uniform, which reflected all the sunlight.

“Of course as a friend too, but... I like you... Like a lover..."

Her fingers wrapped around my right hand.

"I wonder if I say this, will you be angry, Minami-chan..."

I could feel the loneliness floating in the air as she giggled to hide her shyness.

loved one

Girlfriend, sometimes this might seem strange. Or maybe it's not strange. But it doesn't change the fact that I like you.

Your feelings and my feelings are...

“Me too..!”

"Eh?"

My throat was so tight it hurt. But I want to tell you...

My throat is as trembling as the cicadas.

“I r... ra love you too.”

I can speak

to speak to her My very first words

Not “Good morning” or “Thank you.”

Hehe, Kyoka-chan giggled as she understood.

“Then we feel the same.”

I slowly stared at her. It was then that she looked into my eyes.

directly

I intertwine my fingers with yours.

Slowly, he moved his face towards hers.

The person I love, my only friend, my first lover.

“Haha, I feel a little...embarrassed, haha...”

She smiled with a blush on her face. So...really cute.

“Let's be together forever, from now on, forever and ever…”

'um'

I touched her lips slowly enough to feel the sweat trickling down faster. I closed my eyes as I felt the warm, gentle bliss.

The cry of cicadas floats far away.

The next day, she left this world of ischemic heart disease.

That was sudden death.

I can't believe it. I don't want to believe

I definitely won't go to the funeral. Because of the condition of not being able to speak in some situations. But above all I feel afraid

Afraid to see that your smile isn't in my blurry vision. But it's in a black photo frame.

she won't come back and won't be by my side

Even though they say we should be together forever...

I don't know why, a feeling of regret creeps into my heart.

If I can speak fully

If we exchange feelings more

If I could say without fear that I like to hug...

"Kyoka-chan..."

The summer nights are too short for me to regain the stillness.

I wonder how the sun can rise brightly every day.

I shut myself up in my room, I cried, and I cried alone for a long time many times.

silent moment

That time when we held each other tightly in a corner of a world that spins dizzyingly.

Her lifespan was coming to an end without anyone knowing.

I'd like to talk to her more.

I want to say I love you

I want you to come by my side...

I don't want to say "Goodbye..."

That day was August 13th, almost halfway through the summer break. When Kyoka-chan's mother came to visit me

That day is my birthday.

For people who are unable to speak in certain situations I was extremely nervous about her mother. My symptoms would affect everyone except my family. Even though I'm at home

“I would like to express my deepest condolences for your loss…”

My mother served tea at the table. She held the tray in front of her and bowed her head low. I bowed in imitation

Kyoka-chan's mother also silently lowered her head, then looked into my eyes. It's like it's right in front of me. I can't look at her directly.

“Shirahama Minami-san.”

Her mother called my name. My whole body tensed.

“I came here today because I have something to offer.”

...there's something Did you come to give it to me...?

A letter and a white box were handed to me.

This is...

“Kyoka left this behind. The boy prepared it by saying: ‘I will give it to Minami-chan on her birthday.'”

"Eh..."

“Today is Minami-san's birthday, right? Even if that child wanted to give it to you in front of you. But I can't do that anymore. So I want you to accept it.”

There is no way...

With trembling hands, I reached for the letter and the white box:

happy birthday

Minami-chan!

white box as gift I tried really hard to find something that matched Minami-chan's name. So I hope you like it.

I feel so happy when I'm with Minami-chan. It's strange, right? Even if we don't talk or do anything. But just being next to you is enough.

I'm glad I met you. I'm really glad we're friends.

I love you. I hope we can continue to be good friends.

Kyoka

Inside the white box was a ring made from beautiful seashells from the beach. This shell is more beautiful than any precious stone.

A ring that bears my name, Minami Shirahama.

I noticed a drop of water on the lens of my eyeglasses.

Just being next to you That's it, I'm happy now.

you think so

No, I can't hold back the tears...

“That girl really loves you, Minami-chan. When you came home, you kept talking about Minami-chan. She looks really happy."

So...

“She bought two rings. There was another circle in her room. She wants to wear a couple rings. Just like a married couple."

Her mother smiled gently.

I took out the ring and put it on my left ring finger. small white shells Shining like your smile

"We will be together forever"

It seemed as if she were speaking these words to me.

And now it's the fifth summer.

Even though my symptoms are still the same as before But it's not as severe compared to elementary school and high school. I can exchange a few words with people. and not afraid to leave the house again

"Kyoka-chan, we haven't seen each other in a long time."

I still diligently visited her on the anniversary of her death.

“This year is hot too. I'm going to get sunburned."

Light incense and pay respects with flowers.

How are you?

“As for me, I am currently studying law. It's very difficult..."

There were no words from her in response.

In contrast to the past when I couldn't reply to her.

I miss you so much...

Ring on the left ring finger I heard that another ring was kept in an urn along with the ashes. Rest here with her.

"Kyoka-chan..."

I want to see you I want to hug you I want to kiss you

I raised my head to cool the hot inner corners of my eyes. I closed my eyes, blocking out the bright sunlight.

Ah no, no doubt you miss me too.

be together forever

Even though you are far away, you are closer than anyone else.

nevermind

Let us keep fighting, don't be ashamed.

Someday when I meet you I'll talk to you a lot.

"I'll come again."

I clenched my left hand tightly as I left the cemetery.

Minami (美波) - Mi (美) means beautiful/beautiful. Nami (波) means waves, combining to form beautiful/beautiful waves.

Shirahama (白濱) - Shira (白) means white, hama (濱) means beach, together they form White Beach.