**TW: Depression, Suicidal, Bullying**

I'm learning to write a novel. I would like to get opinions and advice from everyone. Thank you.

It was written to reflect the problems of school-age children and depression.

Why? Why? A world that everyone says is a beautiful world. Why is it like this with me? Why does it hurt? Why is it so dark? Or is this the beauty that everyone means? Beauty born from hate Beauty that comes from lies Or even from the use of violence?

A normal girl who has done nothing wrong. She just comes to school like any other child. But every time she comes to school, She opened her locker and found a lot of trash. Whether it's a bag full of uneaten food scraps or a carton of spoiled milk. Shoes meant to be worn in the school building that were supposed to be there were left in the trash.

When we arrived in the classroom, we found only trash stuffed under tables and chairs with chewing gum on them. The girl had to clean her own table every time she arrived in the room before she could sit at her own table. And still have to do this every day.

“Look at that girl, she's not properly dressed. The clothes were all ruined.”

“Yes, plus there are marks on the arms and legs. You must definitely be punished.”

“Don't talk to me. We'll be out of luck."

Once again...that's enough. I'm tired of listening to those words every day. If you don't want to bother me then just go far away. Or...is it me who should go away?

The girl got up from the table and walked out of the room with gossip and laughter following behind her. Even after leaving the room, those sounds could still be heard coming from every direction.

“That's the person in the room.

C

this"

"Really, you'd better not bother."

Along the way, the girl was forced to squeeze chocolate milk from a box on her by another female student.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I just meant it."

“It has stains and suits you well.”

“This work must be done in pairs, students. I'll send it next week. Don't forget."

Are you thinking of ordering work every day? Do you think I only study one subject a day to have to do work all the time like this? This time, it's still a couple. It's completely crazy. Why do people trust us to work together? Everyone is wearing masks.

“Is this you, the pair work that the teacher ordered you to do together?”

Eh...who?

“Looking at it, you probably don't have a partner yet.”

What's wrong with these eyes? Why do you look different from everyone else? I've seen it for the first time since I was born. A sight that isn't going to hurt us. Friendly and warm eyes, why, why, why would you extend your pure, clean hand to my dirty one like this? I'm going to make your hands dirty.

'Hey, do you want to eat together at noon?'

'Hey, can I sit with you?'

'Hey, I bought a new book. Do you want to read it?'

Those words, why...why are they spoken to someone like me?

“You son of a bitch, no matter how many times you do it, your score will never improve.”

The father threw the answer sheet on which scores were written on the floor until the paper flew everywhere. Then he picked up the girl's drawing and tore it into pieces.

“How many times have I told you to stop drawing stupid pictures?”

“Well, I like this.”

“No need to argue! What can I do with just drawing a picture?”

"but-"

“You're still going to argue! Father told me that you need to get a higher education. Graduate and go to a good job.”

But I don't like this. Plus I'm not good at it.

Go ahead, Dad, hit me with that stick. Hit all over the mouse. Hit until father is satisfied. Hit until there were marks all over the body until there was nothing left. You'll be relieved that I'm focusing on frivolous things, even the things I like.

No matter what you do, you will not be satisfied with anyone. Everyone hates me. speak to me in harsh words This is what people do in this beautiful world, right? The world is beautiful but I have no right to do anything. You don't have the right to be yourself and do what you like. Where is the word freedom hidden? Or is it a lie that was created to trick people into wanting it?

Want to die...want to die

The young girl sat alone in the corner of a classroom with no people around. She gripped the cutter tightly and pressed it against her wrist, dragging the blade slowly. Bright red blood slowly flowing out through the cut

uncle...

The girl switched the cutter to another hand and pressed the cutter onto her other wrist, making a cut as well on the other hand. Bright red blood flowed from both her wrists down into the palms of her hands. Flows along the fingertips and lies on the floor. This pain couldn't compare to the pain from the deep wound in her heart, which was even more painful.

The girl's vision slowly faded. It blurred as blood continued to pour out onto the floor.

Just like this, it's over now...we'll probably be fine now. I probably won't hear those hateful words anymore.

"you!"

Who...

“Stay strong!”

Why...even though That just now really wanted to die But I'm glad he came to help.

A young girl wakes up in a white hospital room with the student who helped her sitting next to her. The girl's wrists were wrapped in a white cloth.

"So you've recovered?"

"Why-"

“Please, don't do that again!”

The boy shouted at the girl as tears streamed down his cheekbones.

“At least I still have me to regret the day I don't have you.”

He cried...because he didn't want us to die?

"Hey, I heard the news that the other day that girl committed suicide."

“Really?”

“True, but that guy helped me.”

"What? It's better to just die."

Again, those words again. No matter what, the fact that we are worthless and shouldn't be in this world will not change.

"Hey, you, don't mess with our friends, okay?"

"That's right. You make our friends look bad."

In the evening when the girl returned home She went into her bedroom and lay down on the bed. The girl's hopeless eyes stared straight up at the ceiling as she held a knife pointed at her own throat.

Who will we live for? When we die, no one cares.

Want to die...want to die...

The boy who had helped her when she was trying to commit suicide was crying because he didn't want her to do that again. Images of those events floated into the girl's head. The image of that boy crying She couldn't bury the knife in her hand into her throat. The girl threw the knife aside.

I don't want to die anymore...

The next day, the girl still came to school and went to class as usual. On her desk, there were various smudges of paint scribbled on it.

'Go and die!' 'Worthless person' 'Go away!'

The girl looked around the room to find the boy. The person who had helped her The person you don't want to see cry. But no matter where I looked, I couldn't find him.

Not anymore...

A week passed without the boy returning. The next day, the girl decided to skip class in the afternoon and ran up to the roof of the school building. She walked over to the rooftop balcony and climbed over the fence.

In the end we are alone. It's the same for everyone, even the people I think I trust the most. People who always help me In the end, he left me alone and disappeared. I really shouldn't have existed. Even when I look in the mirror and see my reflection, I hate it. It would be better if this world didn't have me.

Want to die...want to die

The girl standing outside the fence turned towards the fence and held it with both hands. She leaned down and looked up at the sky, still holding onto the fence tightly with her hand. At least before she dies, she wants to look at the sky, which is the only thing that she thinks is the most beautiful in this world.

She slowly released both hands that were holding onto the fence. Her mind was so empty that there was nothing left, not even the people who had helped her. After this, she wouldn't have to suffer from anything anymore.

"you!"

The call was the call the girl had heard before. A call from someone you don't want will bring tears to your eyes. The boy ran towards the fence with great speed.

Both of the girl's hands had fallen off the fence. The girl tried to reach out her hand to the boy's hand that was reaching out to her. No matter how hard she tried to reach, it couldn't reach the boy's hand.

Why do you have to show up now? Don't... I don't want to see you cry.

Ah...don't want to die...don't want to die anymore.

No matter how hard she tried to reach, it couldn't reach the boy's hand. The girl's body slowly disappeared. Falling off the rooftop with her and that boy's tears falling.

The girl's body slammed to the ground. She has left this world. Leaving only a broken body along with her soul.

The content of this short story can often be found in movies, series, songs, or anime. You don't even know if it's something that can really happen.

A child that many people love People saw him as pure white because he was a 'child'.

Even though we cannot know what was carried inside that child's heart.

Stress and sadness can happen to people of all ages. But for children, many adults still view them as just being children.

For children, depression should not be joked about. Because that will make people start to think of it as just a 'trend'.

When that kind of perspective is created, it makes children who actually have the condition They don't dare to express their feelings like that when they have a problem.

Children will keep those feelings that they do not dare to tell anyone, causing depression and ultimately leading to the end of their lives.

Many times people feel like they want to die and disappear from this world. But I can't because there are still people who don't want to make him sad.

The boy in that story was an example of a person who made the girl feel like he should continue living.

In fact, for us That person could be anyone, a parent, a friend, someone we love, or someone who loves us.

Therefore, being able to make yourself important to a person is considered to be of help to him.

But not only that Because when people don't dare to tell anyone their inner feelings.

So you have to be the one who reaches out to them. Don't wait for him to reach out to you himself.

Because when waiting for the day he reaches out to you You may not be able to reach him anymore.

And the person you love may meet the same end as that girl.