morning blue sky The peaceful atmosphere is filled with fresh scents and the sounds of birdsong. It is something that everyone wishes they had time to indulge in.

Except me...

The frustration had been in my mind for weeks. Even though people around me encourage me and sent many words of comfort But it didn't help me feel any better.

Tears flowed from his bloodshot eyes again. Even though it's been weeks since that incident, I still miss that man. who once owned my heart I used to be the happiest person in my life. Used to make each other laugh and smile. The happiness was so overwhelming that I dreamed of the day we both started a family together. have a cute child And they had each other until the last day of their lives.

But then one day he walked up and said to me, Things between us couldn't have been any better. He left me, shattered all my dreams. Trampling the mind without reason Carelessly taking away my hope

He created suffering within me. For the past several days, I have sat with my knees hugged and staring aimlessly out the window. I am willing to let darkness take over my mind. Spent every second with regret, but deep inside I still hoped he would agree to come back. Bring me happiness and laughter again.

I locked myself in the bedroom, leaving everything behind. Forget the happiness you once had Forget your own smile and laughter. Let the tears flow down your beautiful eyes, not caring how much the picture in front of you has faded. In my heart I still wait for the day he will come back. Praying that these stories are just dreams.

“Bae,” a voice called out along with a knock on the door. I recognized the voice but I chose to ignore it. Not long after, there was the sound of a key being turned. “Have you slept yet?” Thitarin asked, hugging me from behind.

I shook my head slowly in response.

My answer made the embrace stronger.

“Don't hurt yourself like this. It's all worn out, you know?" Thitarin said.

My condition was probably so weary that I was close to death. I could barely eat, couldn't sleep, of course it all started the day he left.

Now I feel like I'm invisible all the time. Keep asking about your own shortcomings. I don't know what I did wrong or not. Why did he cut ties so easily? Were the seven years I devoted to him worthless to him?

“He is gone from my life. Bae, please leave him,” the person who embraced me said.

Thitarin has always been a warm friend to me. Even though sometimes I pay more attention to my lover. Or sometimes I behaved so badly with this friend that it was unforgivable. But this embrace is always warm. Have complete sincerity in every word and action. Even though this made me miss that person's embrace that was just as warm. But I want Thitarin's embrace more.

"If you leave him And where will Bae have to go?” I said while the tears still flowed. “In the past, Bae always had him to take me along. Now that I don't have him, will Bae be able to go?" The sobbing voice made Thitarin hug me tighter than before.

“Before I met him, Bae was able to walk forward alone,” a sweet, soft voice said. “Dear, I understand. But Dear wants Belon to walk away from him. It's not just him who has the right to leave Bae. But Bae has the right to abandon him as well.”

I know the people around me are trying to comfort me. Everyone kept telling me that he wasn't good enough to walk beside me. A person who is complete and has all-round abilities like me.

“Deer may not be as good as him. But Dear and Bae slowly got up and slowly moved forward together. If Bae wants to walk.”

As Thitarin spoke Personally, I can't stop thinking. If those perfections really existed within me, why did he leave me alone?

And the tears fell again...

“Dear, go first. Bae, please stay here,” I said out of the few thoughts I had at the moment.

“How can we go first? As friends, let's go together." Thitarin relaxed the embrace for a moment and walked back with a bag of snacks that I immediately recognized as being from my favorite shop. which is very far from the accommodation “Deer bought some fresh milk spring rolls for you. What's the shop that Bae likes?" Thitarin smiled sweetly at him.

I wiped my tears with my hand, "Bae, I'm not hungry."

“How can you not be hungry? How many days have you not eaten before you're so skinny you'll die?" The person in front of me unwrapped a box of snacks and handed me one. “Take a bite.”

I turn away There was a moment's hesitation before Thitarin held the snack to my mouth. A little confusion began to arise in my mind. All the time I kept thinking that there was no one left in this life. Thitarin's good wishes made me start to have some ideas. The tears that had been flowing a moment ago suddenly stopped. With the sadness fading a little

Yet, many questions still surfaced and tugged at the sadness that gnawed at my heart once again.

“Why did you have to leave Bae?” My voice was sobbing. The small piece of candy suddenly became like a stone stuck in my throat. “What's not good about Bae?”

Thitarin hugged me and put me on his shoulder. “No,” a sweet voice spoke up. “Bae is a good person who accidentally met a bad person, that's all.”

I don't know how many times I've heard these words, but Thitarin keeps repeating them, making me believe it's true. I'm not a bad person. I'm a good person who just happened to meet bad people. I had true love for him for seven years but he never even thought of loving me.

“Bae gave everything to him for seven years. Why did he do this to Bae?” I asked repeatedly.

Thitarin has not replied back. But he still sat beside me, watching me cry and complain all alone until my tears began to dry up. Thitarin's sweet voice then spoke up. “If you want to cry, do it with Dear alone.” The woman paused for a moment before continuing. “Cry and compose yourself.

Cry it all out and get on with your life.”

Today it's like my world has collapsed until there's nothing left. I don't even want to look at my face through the mirror. When I sleep, in my dreams there is only his image. His warm touch made this time filled with happiness. But when I suddenly woke up, I found that he was no longer there. and sadness bubbled up in my heart again.

This feeling makes me never want to wake up again. I want to live in a dream of happiness like that forever.

I don't know what I did wrong. Or is it not good? He left without saying a word of goodbye. Cutting off everything as if the past had never happened before. Ignoring the sorrow that consumes my life It was as if my feelings were worthless in his eyes.

If I'm worthless to him then I don't know why I stay. Even though I don't want to die right now, I don't want to live without him.

my happiness The brightness that used to be there was taken away by him carelessly. I have nothing left in the real world. There is only happiness waiting in the dream world. I decided to take sleeping pills and take them one at a time until I finished about two packs. After that, my brain spun and I finally drifted off to sleep.

“Why are you doing this?” a sweet, familiar voice called out. But for the first time I heard Thitarin's sobbing voice. And that made me try to open my eyes. I saw a saline bottle hanging on the bedside post. The blood pressure monitor began to squeeze my arm tightly. and Thitarin sat and cried beside him. I began to ask myself new questions.

'What have I done?'

Painful memories come back to the time when I decided to use sleeping pills to put myself into a sweet slumber. But that's not eating to die. I just want to stay in my dreams for as long as possible.

“Bae just doesn't want to wake up,” I replied, still unable to open my eyes.

"Why do you promise to be friends forever?" Thitarin bent down and hugged me tightly.

I remember that was a promise I made when I was in elementary school. On the day Thitarin was teased by the whole class. I am a protective person and promise to be friends by your side forever. But today I am going to be the one who breaks that promise.

“Look who's coming!” Thitarin's voice was still sobbing.

I can't quite imagine the condition of my close friend. But I tried very hard to open my heavy eyelids to see what Thitarin said. Even though the picture was very blurry, it was clear enough to know that this man was Father. “Hey, are you studying too hard?” Father said, running his hand through my hair.

I don't know what my condition is now. But my father and mother's smiles warmed me so much that tears flowed down my face again.

“Mom made a lot of delicious food for you,” Mom said before placing the food next to the bed and hugging me tightly. “Since when have you been a crybaby? Mom's smart person."

“I missed you,” I said while still sobbing.

“People at home miss me terribly.” Mother released her embrace and wiped the tears from my cheek with her hand. “No one has made beautiful desserts for my mother to take to the temple for a long time, you know? The villagers are all asking for it.”

“Bae, I'll hurry back and do it for you.” My voice broke into sobs. The tears still flowed continuously.

“Let it get better first. I'll definitely drag you back to do it,” Mom said jokingly as usual and pulled me into a hug.

“Please invite your parents this way,” a nurse's voice called out. Both father and mother walked out together. When I saw them walking through the door, I hurriedly grabbed Thitarin's hand and approached him.

“Dear,” my voice was soft and filled with worry in my heart.

Thitarin smiled as if he already knew. “My father and mother only knew that my heart was broken and I was so stressed that I fainted. Dear asked the doctor not to tell him. But Bae must promise not to do it again.”

I averted my gaze and considered it for a moment. It's probably because of the effects of the medicine that I'm not brave enough to answer right now.

“Dear promised to stay beside Bae. But Bae must not try to escape Deer like this.” My hand was held tightly. The eyes of the person in front of him were clearly filled with worry. “Besides, it's almost time for me to go on stage. I don't have any special abilities yet.”

“I'll teach you,” I replied.

Thitarin chuckled softly before saying, "Will you be able to get up and teach?"

Dancing used to make me the happiest. More than having that man come into your life. But I don't know why that happiness disappeared with him. I try to smile and laugh. Even though it was quite forced laughter. “Let's dance in time.”

Yet, the people sitting together smiled widely with sparkling eyes. “I'm very happy that Bae is still with Deer like this.”

Tears fell once more. This time I quickly wiped it off and took a deep breath. Before answering the reason for having to be here at this time. "Bae just doesn't want to be a burden to anyone."

Thitarin shook his head, "No, it's not a burden." The sweet smile sent from the interlocutor made me confused with my feelings and thoughts. “Bae is Dear's friend.” I feel guilty for overlooking Thitarin's true love. I feel guilty for causing everyone such a mess. And I feel guilty for hurting myself because of a bad person.

“Friends that Dear must take to get through this suffering. Even Dear can't replace him. But Dear is ready to take Bae out to leave her suffering. Believe me, Dear. And it will pass,” the person in front continued.

It was clear that everything happened because I overlooked the love of the people around me. If that day I had been more conscious and turned around and hugged Thitarin, hugged my father, and hugged my mother tightly. I wouldn't do something crazy like this.

“Thank you very much,” I pulled my friend into a hug. “Thank you, Dear.”

It is as Thitarin said. I am a good person who accidentally encountered bad people in my life. It might be a test to see how I can overcome this. If you can make it through, there may be better things waiting in front of you. Maybe it's not love, but it's the success I dreamed of.

“The best.” Thitarin's voice became cheerful. “But change from saying thank you to hurrying up and teaching. I'm worried it's going to get worse.”

“Yes, Bae can always teach Dear,” I replied while my brain was still empty.

After leaving the hospital, I immediately began teaching Thitarin. Even though I was protested because I wanted to rest first. But I insisted on teaching.

When the loud music comes on My heart was awakened again. Especially when drawing dance patterns to the rhythm of the music. The power in my heart increased even more. And I discovered that the entire time my body moved to the rhythm of the song, there was no image of him in my mind for even a second.

Even today the sadness has not disappeared from my heart. Even though his thoughts sometimes come into his mind. and still unable to open up and welcome anyone in But at least I know I still have to save my life. Because there are still many things to be done. And a big goal is still waiting for me to walk towards it. Even though walking is slow in some parts, it is still better than stopping.

Even though I had told Thitarin that I didn't want to go out. But in the end, I decided to get up, dress up, put on makeup and do my hair and go to university. To give encouragement around Thitarin's special talent show.

I saw Thitarin's bright smile as she danced brightly on stage. A glow that many people would never imagine Thitarin himself has been through a lot of bad things. I'm sure I can get through it too. The more you have Thitarin waiting by your side. I'm even more confident that I can overcome this.

This friend is a true love that I must preserve and learn from. As for that man, it was a false love that came through for me to learn as well.

“I thought I wouldn't come. I'm so happy.” Thitarin hugged me as soon as I walked off the stage.

“Deer is a very good dancer.”

The person being complimented smiled until their cheeks watered. “How good are people at teaching?”

"If there is no Deer Bae probably couldn't get up.”

“Be patient, bae. And it will slowly get better.” Consolation was also sent with care. “If you can't move forward alone, Please know that Bae always has Dear by your side.”

Finished speaking, Thitarin invited me to get something to eat, not caring about how others would react. along with saying that the contest was for fun only If you win, it's a prize. If you lose, it's just an experience.

It wouldn't be any different from love. People walk towards each other to learn. If we get along and move forward together, that is the reward of life. But if you have to break up, that's just an experience.

There's still a lot I need to learn. No one knows what kind of love they will encounter in the future. Today, all I can do is consciously love myself a lot. If in the future I have to face such disappointment again, I will not forget that I still have to love myself and preserve my life for the future.

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