Hello, my name is Ner. I'm a person who likes to make himself perfect all the time. Is a person who is extremely anxious and careless whenever in front of a large number of people. I rarely have friends. There is no one to love and like. But he is a person who has love and preferences like other people.

When I was in elementary school, I was very strict about my studies. There was quite a lot of pressure at home, but that's not a sad thing. I think they were worried about my future. I understand that.

But even though I was very strict about my studies, I was not good at anything. Not the top of the class, not as outstanding as the teacher's favorite class leader. So I put more pressure on myself to stand out and win, which I succeeded in doing. Other than studying, I didn't care about anything else. Let's not talk about sports. I really don't like it.

My first love formed at this age. I was secretly in love with a girl. She was my roommate. She was very cute and beautiful. She was good at studying. Her mother was a teacher and had a good position. She was perfect in everything. It made me want to possess her very much. So I started flirting with her without her knowing for about three years. can

But one day she found out and it made her distance herself from me. I feel disappointed and heartbroken at the same time. She is the one who makes me want to be more perfect.

My middle school years were extremely difficult. I tried very hard to enter the science and math class. I read books, studied for exams, I overworked myself and put a lot of pressure on myself. At home, they have high hopes for me because in the future they want me to be a doctor, so at this age I should have a good start. But I missed the exam and didn't get into the science room.

Math, but with a computer room at the end I was very disappointed. At home I was disappointed. There were people who scolded me and called me stupid. Not like this person compared me to other people. At that time, I fell very hard and kept myself in my room. I don't want to see you, I don't want to see anyone's face.

After some time, I began to enjoy studying. I joined a team with my friends to compete with grades 1-3 in taking the science and information technology exam, winning first place and receiving a certificate. My friends in the class were congratulating me. I was very proud, but at home I wasn't too excited. With me, but that's okay.

Up until this point, I had a crush on a girl. She was at a different school than me. She is a friend of my friend. She is a very beautiful person. So beautiful that I can't see anyone else being beautiful.

I was sitting in front of her house repairing a car and a friend was about to pass me in a car. That's when I turned to see her looking at me. That's what sparked it. Another day, she greeted me and we talked and liked each other until we finally agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm not perfect but she chose me. Well, I won. I won over all the guys who were flirting with her.

My love story with her was not very smooth, we continued on and off until several months had passed. But even though we often argue, we love each other very much. No one really lets anyone go. Most of the time, I'm the one who breaks up and asks for reconciliation. Does that sound good? But she always comes back to me, even though I Cheated on her ten times. When I was like this, it was her. She was the one who did it first. But love is not revenge. Don't have to set an example.

She is the first woman I have loved this much. She supports me in everything and is the brightness of my life. If I don't have her in this life, I won't be happy because she is the only reason that makes me want to live. And live life together with her now and in the future, I want to have her. Keep living like this.

I have planned a future with her that in eight years we will get married. Right now I am studying hard and making money at the same time. For my future with her, I love her so much that I thought about marriage, children, and names. I made preparations so early that I forgot to think that we were still very young.

This age is the age that has changed almost everything in my life. Now I have graduated from Mathayom 3 and am about to continue my studies at the vocational certificate level. At first, I didn't even think about studying this line. I want to be a psychologist I want to study general science-mathematics. But because of past mistakes that I was disappointed in, I didn't dare to take the exam again because I didn't want to make a mistake and be disrespected by others.

I have to be perfect in the eyes of everyone and my boyfriend. I got a place to study in the city. It's a private school that isn't very strict about student dress. Hairstyle rules are also freestyle.

Then came the lowest point in my life. Yes, I broke up with her and we fought a lot and no one would relent. They're strong towards each other, but it's not cheating. It's the same problem that we've been arguing with since the beginning because I can't stand her being too stupid. She let me go easily

Not holding back like last time, probably because we've been tired a lot and we should have had enough.

I was immersed in the past, thinking about her all the time and not doing anything. But I still try to be perfect because I think that if we get better, she will come back. I take care of myself and make myself look good. There were people who liked me and flirted with me, but no one ever became my girlfriend. I kept talking without commitment. Everything was to make her jealous of me, but there were times when we talked but didn't go back to each other because I thought I wasn't good enough for her.

I started playing sports even though sports were something I really didn't like since time immemorial. I played futsal. When I started playing, I was constantly uploading stories on Facebook and she would always message me and ask about my stories. She was very surprised because she also knew that I don't like any kind of sports.

It's been almost a year since we broke up. The two of us never got back together but continued to be in each other's lives, but she already had a new boyfriend. There's only me who still longs for her. My life is getting worse and worse. I don't care about studying anymore. My futsal team has come out. Without her, I have no fire to do anything.

I have given up on all my dreams and am now just living my life day by day until I am starting to feel discouraged from living with this pain. But I'm still here because I still have hope. I hope that one day she'll come back. Come back and fulfill your promise. Coming back to getting married, I can only pray every day, hoping that he will come back in time before I leave this world.

“Finished. Thank you for reading to the end. I think it's completely boring.”