my story It started because of my ideology. Just because I want to be able to rely on myself. without having to rely on anyone's help'

'A lot has changed too!'

While I was driving out of town His eyes looked at the rice field where there was only dry, yellow grass. In the past, it used to display greenery as far as the eye could see. There was only a dirt road that cut through it. Until civilization comes The dirt road became concrete. Villagers turned to trading Investors come in and open cafes.

By relying on the remaining rice fields, the territory is becoming less and less. Decorated as a beckoning cat to attract city people.

'Don't get distracted just yet, little girl! Hurry and drive! Soon you'll have that doctor call you a turtle again!'

Even though I try to remind myself all the time. But I couldn't help but laugh. When I imagine his grumpy face having to wait until the intestines are dry.

When I turned the car into a deserted alley We came across a high mound with the shade of a large tree standing tall and alone. He parked his car secretly on the side of that dirt hill. Then he picked up two bags of chicken rice. I walked out of the car up the hill and into the shade of a tree. A young man was seen caressing two mango trees, which were hugging each other until they were almost one flesh.

“Yadida! Still as slow as a turtle as usual.” The young man looked back and teased. With a smile on your lips

“Wow! Libra! Well, your favorite guy has been waiting so long! Here it is! Hurry and eat it before I change my mind and keep it for myself!” I handed him a package of chicken rice. with a grunt

Libra smiled widely in response. We each took out a bag of rice. Then they sat down to unpack and eat under the base of the mango tree. during which I invite you to talk about miscellaneous matters. While pointing at Nun Cheini, he recalled the past and the surrounding scenery. Even though it appeared to be just an abandoned field and some dry shrubs, But we remember it well. That this place was once home to the village where we grew up together.

“It's unbelievable. that a large village like ours It can become a wasteland like this.” I opened the issue.

“Well, the village headman's son opened an illegal casino at the back of the village. causing many residents to become addicted to gambling and become in debt In the end, I had to sell the house to Sia Su, who bought land in this area.” Tul finished speaking and shoveled rice into his mouth in large bites.

“In the end, Sia Su was arrested for money laundering. Because he used money from the drug trade to buy The village headman's son also got caught in the tail."

“It's good that you didn't see the end of our village. Because it's so messed up that you can't look at it.” He looked at the desolate state with a neutral look. “But it's a pity. She didn't get ten thousand baht. Because at that time, the old man gave money to the people to give to the villagers as well.”

“I don't want dirty money,” I shrugged.

“I tease you that you left me to sleep and talk with Poona,” the other person countered.

“I chose to be the child of the house myself. Please help me~” I stuck out my tongue and blinked my eyes, making a teasing face.

“Wait a minute!” He reached out his hand and gently pushed my head, teasing me, but no one seemed to mind. Because we know that each person has their own mission. I had to go to Bangkok to look for opportunities, while he had to stay home to take care of family affairs.

“To be honest,” I said in a more serious tone. “I feel very guilty for going to the city to pursue my ideology.”

“Why?” the young man asked gently.

“Do you still remember...how poor my family was?”

“I remember,” he shook his head. “Your mother died when you were little. Her father is just a government employee. Not even a full-fledged civil servant at all The salary is very low.”

“Good memory,” I said.

“Already,” he raised his chest.

“And do you remember what score I got in the class?”

“Number one, quality homework I often ask to copy you.”

“That's right, you're lazy.” I teased you because I was annoyed. “And do you remember? What is the purpose of my studying?”

“She wants to be self-reliant. She wants to do a good job until she can save a lot of money and then come back to develop her hometown. She hid herself in the library. Read every self-improvement book. Especially those books that teach investing.”

"very good! I admit that you really have a good memory.” I complimented him again.

“Um,” he admitted, “so...why are you disappointed?”

“Because I read too many books!”

I sighed heavily.

“After I received a scholarship from a famous university in the city. I work part-time and save money diligently. The liquor store didn't work. He focused on studying until he graduated and became an engineer with good money. I started investing the money I had saved but…”

I silently sighed again.

“But it was not successful. Because I was busy solving small problems. Each book I read It focuses on different problem points. The more I read It's more like being pressured to solve every problem. Both my own behavior and the problems in the business I set up. Until everything doesn't move forward The money I had saved all my life was slowly running out. I was very stressed.

I was so stressed that everyone noticed, so my friends invited me into a liquor store. and because there is no immunity The first time, I drugged myself until I was drunk. and addicted to the taste of drunkenness causing a second and third time to follow until finally being completely exhausted.”

When I finished, I crumpled up the chicken rice wrapper that had only a few bites of rice left in it.

“You are too much of a perfectionist! It's great that she reads books to motivate herself to become a successful person. But she didn't analyze it after reading. Which one is necessary or not? Some things may not apply to you. Because there are different limitations. Plus the people who write these self-improvement books. Some people are freelancers. Sitting with a candle and writing.” Libra answered curtly but inevitably was accurate.

“Really…” I replied softly. “My ideology is only 'I want to be able to rely on myself. without having to rely on anyone's help.' But over and over, social conditions have adjusted for me to be rich. and give money to others So my ideology became 'You have to be rich' to be successful. Until finally, it wasn't to the point I had hoped for.

The ideals I had cultivated betrayed me instead of helping me succeed. I became a mess all day, doing nothing but messing around.”

I look at Libra's face. Smiling with tears that couldn't be suppressed

“Until I came back to see you. I just thought of it.”

But his face I saw just now It no longer exists. There, all that was left was a package of chicken rice lit with incense spread under a mango tree. On the trunk there is a word engraved:

'Thida and Libra'

As a child, Libra was a person who had few friends. And most of my friends are women. It's not because he's LGBT. But because he is more gentle than other men. All of which were influenced by mother. His childhood was spent with his mother. His father had to work abroad. So he wasn't very close to his father.

Unlike me, my mother died when I was young. My father works for hire and doesn't earn much money. It makes me often have to help him earn a living, but for this very reason. From you I inherited courage, strength, and perseverance.

Probably because of this difference. That sparked the connection between us from the first time we met. To the point where they used to joke that they would probably get married when they grew up. Libra then took two mango seedlings. Let's plant it on the mound where we play together regularly. But one tree looked tall and strong, but it was leaning and almost falling. Another tree looked soft and could not lift itself.

So he tangled the young plant with the hard one. Make them grow up to be what you see.

It is probably a sign of our relationship. We must rely on each other to grow like a beautiful tree. which I confess that I'm really a strong person. But sometimes I do things so impulsively that I hurt myself physically and mentally. And there is Libra who is there to help and support.

until I graduated from university in the city Libra also came to the graduation ceremony and invited me to come home and work in his family's business together. But I insisted on going to the city to find work. Along with another challenge to drive a supercar like a queen. He laughed and wished me good luck. If we have free time, let's keep in touch.

I promised, but when it was time to actually enter I was so engrossed in all sorts of things that I completely forgot about him. Until he called to inform me that my father had passed away. So I went home to arrange the funeral. At first I didn't dare face him. Because her face was in disarray, no outline of the old daughter was left.

“Didda...you must have been through a lot. Is there anything we can help with?” It turned out that at that time I let it out in the middle of the event. I now know exactly what the value I am looking for is.

I have always wanted to take care of my beloved family.

Money is just one of many factors.

But I hold on to it as omniscient beyond all things. Until it became an ideology that was like a rice field for others to take advantage of, even though it was something I had yearned for all my life. It's right there at my fingertips.

At this point I had a new ideology. Use what you have to create mental happiness. Not clinging to names and images like before came to help with his business Using past experiences of failure as a guide. until the family business made huge profits From a small business, it grew into a big business, and finally, Libra asked me to marry him.

I accepted his ring and wore it without conditions. We smile at each other. It's the happiest smile in my life. But the good times never last long. Because after we had been married for a few months Libra's body has abnormal symptoms. He always feels bloated after eating. and vomited frequently until his body was thin When taken to the doctor, it was discovered that

He has late-stage stomach cancer.

I try every way I can to prolong the life of my heart. including taking them to a well-known private hospital, receiving chemotherapy, or even paying more than seven figures to be taken abroad for treatment. But Libra still fell heavily. There's no sign of it getting better. Until I knelt and moaned in his lap. Seeing him sitting on a hospital bed, bone-thin, all of his hair fell out.

“I don't want you to go! My life was released from hell. It's because of Mr. True. Wow!…If you go…who will I be with!”

But Libra smiled a little.

"It's okay. If it's time to go, then we have to go. Everything is temporary." He rubbed my head to warmly comfort me, as it did every time I shed tears. “But if it's possible...can I ask for one thing before I die?”

“Come on,” I locked eyes with him. Trying to hold back a sob

“Can I go look at that mango tree…for the last time?…”

You don't have to say too much. I smacked my words. and immediately took him on a plane ticket back to Thailand

Libra is too skinny, making it difficult for her to walk up the hill by herself. So I helped support him until he reached under the shade of a tree. The last picture seen was of her beloved husband caressing both mango trees in mourning. So I took a sharp stone and wrote our names on each side of the tree trunk that was close together.

“Time has never been on our side,” I mused, tears suppressed since I got out of the car. Water flowed down both cheeks and could not be stopped any longer.

“Yes...time is never on anyone's side,” he replied softly. then embrace me Before dying a few months later