Hello everyone who (lost) came to read.

"Sait Sri" is probably my first parody novel that was published on the Dek Dee website. Much of the information presented in this story is a misrepresentation.

So, if there are names of characters, places, or events that correspond to the real world? Consider it a coincidence.

Finally, if readers have any opinions, you can comment and tell the author :)

May you all have a good sense of humor.

-double shotgun

At ten o'clock in the morning, a van pulled up in front of a place. The back of the car has a sticker on it.

'Fantastic World Documentary Team'

In this era, there is no one in the world who doesn't know 'Fantastic World', a documentary program.

Tyne nationality which is popular with viewers all over the world. Received the Outstanding World Documentary Award

up to four times in a row

Thai people have liked to watch documentaries since time immemorial. From statistics, it is found that Thai people have begun to watch them.

Educational programs on television have been up to 97% since the beginning of Siam.

The first television Currently, only 3% of Thai viewers still watch the program.

Variety, game shows, soap operas, Korean series dubbed in Thai, fake news

Panya Nim sitcoms, music videos, anime and cartoons As a result, the said item

In the country, losses were dire due to desertion of spectators and lack of sponsors, until the government

At one time it was even necessary to come out and encourage people to watch these light-hearted programs.

Some of this is because they fear that people will lack color in their lives.

However, the people ignored those persuasions. Most Thai people still like it.

Watch documentaries and programs that increase knowledge and wisdom until today.

Chuwit Thengruthai, a young MC, jumped out of the car. Documentary filming team gradually

Carry the filming equipment along.

"Here, bro? Where are we going to film?” Chuwit asked one of the crew.

"Yes, this is 'Dinosaur Park Tyneland'. Why does Mr. Chuwit ask?"

"When I first heard the name I thought it was a water park or an amusement park.”

"No, 'Dinosaur Park Thailand' is not a water park, but a dino farm.

Saturday"

"Huh? What did you just say? Dinosaur farm?”

"yes"

"You mean dinosaurs that have bones?"

"No, it's a walking dinosaur."

"A robot?"

“Not a robot. Really a dinosaur The same thing that existed in the Jurassic period."

At the end of the team's words, the young MC burst out laughing.

"Oh! elder sibling! Are you crazy?! Dinosaurs went extinct millions of years ago, speaking in a movie.

Cartoons can go!”

The other party wasn't amused and shook his head.

"Does Mr. Chuwit not follow the news at all?"

The host shrugged.

"You know, I don't like surfing the internet. Facebook hasn't been open in three years, Twitter hasn't.

I applied and there was nothing but nonsense. Playing is a waste of time to make a living."

"But this matter is not nonsense."

The team grabbed their phones. Open the news online for the young host to see.

"Ministry of Agriculture Preparing to open a dinosaur farm After finding a dinosaur

The last group has an unbearably small number, it is confirmed! Must be preserved!”

"Do you believe it yet?"

Chuwit burst out laughing once.

"Oh! elder sibling! Just read the headline and you'll know it's fake news. Nowadays our house has only news.

A lie, like the news about a minister going with his girlfriend to buy a refrigerator almost ten years ago, is fake news.

News about students being forced to undress during freshman year is fake news.

The news that a politician's son was arrested and pissed off at an entertainment venue is fake news.

Such things don't exist in Tyne..."

While the two were talking Immediately the earth shook. A loud roar

Kong, a flock of birds scurried up and fled.

The documentary crew and their filming equipment were tumbling to the ground. Chuwit staggered.

collided with a van

"what happened---"

before he finished speaking The roar sounded again.

"Garz----!!!!"

Chuwit was stunned by what he saw in front of him. T-rex dinosaur the size of a house

Running and stomping your feet in front of him.

When the giant lizard ran away Everything returned to normal.

The young MC turned to the same staff.

"D-Do you see what I see?"

"See...do you believe it now, Mr. Chuwit?"

Fantastic World Documentary - Tape 1

"Hello, all viewers," Chuwit raised his hand to greet the camera.

"Today I'm with Chuwit Terngruthai on the program Fantastic.

World! Recognized as the number one documentary program in the Tyne country.

from viewers around the world Today we will take the audience on a tour at 'Dinosaur Park.

Tyneland, the world's first and only dinosaur conservation farm.

It's introduced like this. I guess viewers can't wait to go see the inside.

In order not to waste time Let's go see it together."

The host led the cameraman into the area of ​​a building. After walking for a short time, he found

A figure stood not far from the spot.

"oh! Looks like we've found a farm official for you! We went in to talk to

He's better."

Chuwit shot straight at that person.

"hello!"

The figure flinched. before turning to look at the host and team

"ponderous! Hello,” she greeted.

She was a young woman of no more than thirty, with a beautiful face and short, dyed brown hair.

"Who are you all?"

"Well...we're from a documentary program.'

Fantastic World' contacted me about coming to film a documentary here. We want to---"

"Really dead! Documentary Fantastic World! So you are... Mr. Chuwit?"

"yes"

At the end of his words, he shouted with joy.

"Scream!!! I never dreamed that in this life I would meet him in person! Please ask to take a photo.

Please."

Chuwit smiled, showing off his white teeth, "Alright."

She used her phone to take at least thirty-six photos with the famous host.

"On TV it's said that he's handsome. The real one is even more handsome!” she said, still looking excited.

It's not cured.

"Thank you for watching."

Chuwit cleared his throat.

"What's your name?"

The girl's cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

"ponderous! You're also asked for your name! I'm embarrassed! My name is Oil. I'll take the phone number and name.

Do you have Facebook as well?"

"It's better not. I don't use the internet."

"Wow! That's terrible."

"Does Mr. Oil work here?"

"yes"

“Great. So please disturb Mr. Oil.

Please do an interview with the program."

“Sure!” she smiled.

Chuwit turned sharply to the camera.

"Alright, viewers! Looks like we need to put the commercial brakes on for a moment.

But don't just change the channel. There are still many interesting stories, because this is

The number one documentary program in Tyne country, Fantastic World!"

Fantastic World Documentary - Tape 2

"Hello viewers again. With me, Chuwit Terngruthai on the program.

Fantastic World! Now we are with you. The officers are stationed here."

The master of ceremonies turned to pay respects to the female official. Oil smiled and accepted the greeting. She seemed to have calmed down.

"Does Mr. Oil specialize in dinosaurs?"

"Dinosaurs? Um...don't call me an expert.

It's better if you know a bit."

"Then let me ask Mr. Oil a question."

"Alright."

"Are there any dinosaurs left now?"

"Yes, there is some left, but now it's starting to get a bit small."

"I think they went extinct 65 million years ago."

“It is true that 65 million years ago, many dinosaurs died out.

But there are some dinosaurs that have survived. A phenomenon like this

In biology, it is called

bottleneck effect "

"Help expand the word

bottleneck effect

too."

     "bottleneck effect

It is a term used to refer to a phenomenon in which a large population

with a rapidly decreasing population

Simply put, most dinosaurs died from natural disasters.

But some still survive.”

This is a

bottleneck effect

"Is this a natural disaster like a giant meteorite hitting the earth?"

“In the past, scientists believed that the reason why most dinosaurs

Death came from a meteorite, but the newest research says Dinosaurs didn't die.

Because of the meteorite."

"oh? If it wasn't a meteorite, then what did they die from?

Volcanic eruption or earthquake?

“Not both. Dinosaurs died because of the financial crisis.”

"Financial crisis?"

“Yes, it may sound strange. But recent research confirms that Dinosaurs are social animals.

Since time immemorial They live in communities, have a language, and trade using money.

According to a stone inscription from the Triassic period that said: '...Who wants to trade in elephants?

Anyone who wants to trade horses... ...Stegosaurus with a clear face, don't take Jang Gob', that's all it says.

that the economy in that era was free capitalism"

Stone inscriptions from the Triassic period

Conditions of liberal society in the Triassic period (

liberalism of Triassic)

"Yes, so what made them almost extinct?"

“It is said that once, hundreds of millions of years ago, A large meteorite crashed into the surface.

world, but dinosaurs are strong animals So there is no impact.

Days passed until one of the local dinosaurs noticed that there was a strange flower.

It depends on the area of ​​the crater."

"flower? What flower is it?”

“Tulip, this flower is very beautiful.

When the story of the flowers at the crater spread everywhere Dinosaurs from every direction

On the land of Pangea, everyone wanted to dominate. So he came to trade with

Local dinosaurs, tulips soon became popular all over the world. At first,

Trading is possible. Until the clever dinosaurs came up with the idea to

Tulips are grown and sold for a profit. Therefore people flock to buy tillip bulbs to breed.

At first they traded by exchanging money for real tulip bulbs. But after a while

I started having problems.

Trading is only available at certain times because tulips bloom only during certain seasons.

So the dinosaurs agreed to a future contract to buy tulips.

From the time I used to exchange money for tulips It became a matter of exchanging money for rights.

Own tulips when they are in bloom instead."

"So what next?"

“When there is a contract, there is speculation.

With the concept 'buy it, you must sell it for more expensive'.

The tulip bulb price index thus skyrocketed. From what used to be sold for only 1

Dinosaur baht per capita to 6000 dinosaur baht per capita Traders who started at

When you first make a profit, you take all the profits and profits to invest in new trading. As time passes.

and so on until the Cretaceous period. Contract sales were halted.

When the price of tulips was so high that no dinosaur could afford them. Soap bubbles that accumulate with

The tulips have burst.

Everyone thought that the price had reached its highest level. So they rushed to sell the contract in large numbers.

But there were no dinosaurs that anyone wanted to buy. Causing the price to drop into the abyss from

200,000,000 baht of dinosaurs returned to 2 salung of dinosaurs.

Within one month This event results in deflation. The economy shrinks

unemployed dinosaur Not having a lot of wealth to eat Eventually they all starved to death.

Leading to a state of near extinction.

paleontologist Call this event

'Tulip bubble crisis (

The Dinosaur Tuplip Mania Bubble )' 

This is the world's first financial bubble crisis."

Dinosaur fossils that died from the tulip bubble crisis Next to the fossil are the remains of a tulip.

And there are also dinosaur banknotes.

(Image from the Dutch Republic or present-day Netherlands)

"Oh...my head hurts." The host shook his forehead.

"ponderous! I'm sorry, is this a too long story?"

"I'm afraid so... Come on! We've heard a lot about brain tension. Let's ask about it.

Today's dinosaurs are better."

"okay"

The host cleared his throat.

"How many species of dinosaurs are there today?"

"Wow...that's difficult to answer. There are a lot of dinosaurs here.”

"So, basically, how many types of dinosaurs can we divide them into?"

“As far as I know, if dinosaurs were divided according to their eating habits, they would be divided into two types.

is they

Carnivorous dinosaurs

with

Herbivorous dinosaurs"

"How are these two things different?"

     "Carnivorous

They are dinosaurs that have sharp teeth for eating meat.

For in the country of Tyne They have a fierce, hot-tempered personality and cling to old traditions.

hate change Afraid of technology These dinosaurs discourage new things.

Seriously, the bright new generation is their prey.

I've seen these guys bite young politicians during parliamentary meetings. It's very scary."

These

Carnivorous dinosaurs

Before entering the council meeting

“Hmm...that sounds pretty creepy. And what about other types of dinosaurs?”

“Oh, guys.

Herbivorous

It's a plant-eating dinosaur. These are good, a little tame.

Not fierce

Their natural behavior is peace-loving and conservative. and also like to walk together

groups as well."

"Um! Just like this!” The host nodded.

"oh! Having said that, if we were to classify herbivorous dinosaurs according to their physical characteristics,

We can still divide the picture into 2 types."

"What are the two types?"

"Long-necked dinosaurs and neckless dinosaurs"

“Excuse me, I can imagine a long-necked dinosaur.

But what is this dinosaur without a neck?

“They really didn't have a neck in the beginning. It used to be a short-necked dinosaur. But these guys work hard to eat.

They are so plump and bloated that they appear to have no necks. That's why we call them that."

Dinosaurs have no necks.

"Excuse me, I remember when I was in Mathayom 4, the teacher taught biology.

Ever talked about 'Lamarck's Theory' (

Lamarkism)

This theory says Which organ is used a lot in life?

It will be bigger and stronger. while organs that are rarely used become weak

It decreases in size and eventually deteriorates.

The question is, if dinosaurs didn't have natural necks to feed on,

They probably have to stretch their necks to eat tall leaves.

And why are their necks still so short?”

"That's a very good question. The answer is that shortnecks do not need to feed themselves.

They entered the industry using connections from large dinosaurs that existed before.

Really, these dinosaurs don't have necks. They don't know what to do.

If released into the wild, they will only become extinct through natural selection.

(Natural selection)

Because they don't know how to find food on their own, they rely only on their father.

never rely on the forest

If you look closely, you will find that the legs of this type of dinosaur are very short. Because of these

I've never walked on my own two feet!"

"Oh...this is new knowledge. Having said that, let's talk about characteristics.

There's a lot of dinosaur stuff. So I would like to ask about food.

Let's have some of them."

"okay"

"What do these dinosaurs eat?"

“This one is difficult to answer. It probably depends on

feeding behavior

of each species

Maybe"

     "feeding behavior

What is it?”

"Eating behavior is classified as

Inherited behavior

or behavior by

Origin: There is research that has come out that Each species of animal chooses to eat different foods.

According to the needs of the body, for example, general living things may want to consume.

Food that contains trace elements

H(

hydrogen)

C(

carbon)

O(

oxygen)

or

Fe(

iron)"

"Oh, so what do dinosaurs primarily eat?"

“Dinosaurs here like to eat transition metal. All valuable things

For example,

Ag (

money) some,

Au(

gold) some,

Tax

some..."

"Pardon me, please. I graduated from science stream. Didn't always know that there were elements.

Tax

too"

"It's not strange that you don't know. This element is not in the periodic table.

Tax

It is an invisible element. This type of element can be extracted from people with income.

Everyone, after the extraction is complete, the element

Tax

One hundred percent will be sent to the dinosaurs.

Eat until you're full first. If there's anything left, you'll use it to develop the country further."

In 1928, chemists attempted to add elements.

Tax

into

Periodic table (atomic number given as 30.5) but was also corrected by economists

came out to object because

Tax

is an ideal element, cannot

Can be touched, and this element does not have a constant value. Can change continuously

according to the economic conditions and consumption needs of the ruling class

"oh! This is how our country can still develop!”

“Yes, although large dinosaurs ate so much of this element that we had to scrape it off.

Let's use this element at the bottom of the rice bowl to help the nation."

"All of the above elements can be found in what types of food?"

"There's a lot of them. Most of them are banknotes, rebar, school milk.

Money from pledging rice Children's lunch budget

Road cutting project budget Budget for the electric train project

Oh! There's a lot of everything! "

"um! No wonder the dinosaurs here are so fat and plump.”

"Yes."

Dinosaur food, "T-Rex on two wheels" brand (

Cycling T-Rex)

Dinosaurs eating food (color picture)

The presenter turned to look at the camera.

“We've talked a lot. I can't wait to see the farm.

Would you mind helping Mr. Oil take us on a tour of the farm?"

"farm? What kind of farm is this?"

"oh? Well here at 'Dinosaur Park Tyne Laird', a custom-made dinosaur farm.

Of the world, right?"

Oil laughed.

“You guys must have come to the wrong place. This is parliament.”

"parliament? Excuse me, aren't you a farm official?"

"No, I'm the minister's personal secretary."

"minister?"

Young woman glances at her wristwatch

"ponderous! It's almost time for the meeting! I guess I'll have to call you to prepare."

She took out a whistle from her pocket. screech

Soon, a loud roar was heard. The earth trembled again.

Chuwit and the group were staggered by the shaking.

Soon a giant figure came running towards them - a T. rex.

"This is the Minister of ICT, Dr. Theera Trirannosornsakul."

Also known as 'Big Rex'."

"Garz----!!!" '

Big Rex' greets the documentary team Making everyone's face turn as pale as boiled chicken.

“You may seem a bit solemn. But deep down, you're a lovely person."

The minister's secretary smiled.

Chutrawit Thengrutai looked up at the five meter tall minister and blinked his eyes open.

Suddenly, the young host turned around and looked at one of the documentary crew.

"What's wrong, brother? We're in the wrong place."

“Can't help it, I've already made two tapes. There isn't enough time to take another photo.

Khun Chuwit continues to end the program."

"So? Are you crazy? If you want me to do something like that

I'd rather put my face in the toilet."

"Come on, Mr. Chuwit. Everyone wants to do the same thing.

Look at party leaders and MPs near the election.

Declare party policy for everyone. I didn't see any of them burying their faces in the toilet."

"So, are you going to let me tell you right away?"

"Um, that's what world-quality programs do, too,

'The Show Must Go On!'"

Fantastic World Documentary - Tape 3

"Hello viewers again. With me, Chuwit Thengruthai on the program.

Fantastic World! We are now in front of the Parliament Building.

Tyne country

First of all, I would like to truly apologize. We mistook this place for a farm.

'Dinosaur Park Tyneland' probably because our driver's brain was blurry.

Because he went to help with volunteer work at a nursing home for the elderly until late at night.

But let's do it! The matter has passed.

We are now with the Minister, Dr. Teera Trirannosorsakul or 'Big Rex'.

who is about to attend a council meeting and Khun Oil, the private secretary of

Minister."

Photograph of Dr. Teera Trirannosauruskul From the Ministry's website

(Note: Dr. R. is not an abbreviation for "Doctor" but is an abbreviation for

"dinosaur")

The master of ceremonies turned to the five and a half meter tall minister.

"Before entering the meeting You have time to give.

Will you interview us for a moment?"

"Grasszz---!!!" The minister replied in non-human language.

"Uh, you said you were pleased," the secretary translated.

"Okay, then let me start asking."

Chuwit cleared his throat.

"How many years have you been a dinosaur?"

At the end of his sentence, the minister let out a roar. He slammed his foot on the ground until the earth shook again.

Swinging its tail back and forth violently

“Sir! Please take it easy! The host didn't come to disrespect you.

No party paid him to speak like that.”

Minister Teera ignores the secretary's words. Suddenly ran towards Chuwit and the documentary filming group.

quickly

“Run!” someone shouted. And the quality team is scattered.

The housewife's card circle met with the police. Everyone ran in different directions.

Many people threw filming equipment and ran away without thinking for their lives.

"Wow!!!"

Chuwit shuffles his steps with all his might, accompanied by the Minister of Digital Economy.

And society, which weighs about 12,000 kilograms, runs close behind.

“Sir! Come back here first! Sir! It's a tough job..."

Oil picked up the radio.

"W.1 is called W.2 emergency situation The minister went on a rampage in front of the House of Representatives first.

At meeting time, prepare forces to calm you urgently! Repeat again! Emergency situation!

The minister went on a rampage in front of the council!”

The van left what they thought was a dinosaur farm.

Everyone was sitting in the van, panting. They won't go back there again.

The same team members looked at Chuwit Thengruthai with wide eyes.

"Great, Mr. Chuwit! What the hell is wrong with you, you ask? Do you know?

You made the whole country...no. The whole world must be disappointed, viewers all over the world.

Looking forward to watching Fantastic World, the new tape with your handsome face.

Came all week And this week there won't be any Fantastic World releases.

Because that damn minister stepped on our camera and made a mess of it."

Chuwit scratched his head.

"I'm sorry, I was just wondering."

"If in doubt, learn to filter before speaking! You are a minister!

Until now, news websites across the country have probably made headlines. 'People with bad intentions hire a famous documentary program.

The council stirs up anger with 'Big Rex' Got called a 'dinosaur' by a young MC in front of a meeting."

"What the hell? I don't use the internet."

"You don't play, but people all over the world play!"

The team sighed.

"Who is not ashamed? I am ashamed..."

"Whoever is embarrassed, I'm not embarrassed."

"shut your mouth!"

"oh? Why do you have to be ashamed? We make documentaries If you don't know, you have to ask.

Actually, at first I have another question to ask the Minister. But that question is there.

Inserted into the head So I haven't asked the first question yet."

The interlocutor looks at the host.

"First of all, what are you going to ask?"

Chuwit Thengrutai said with determination in his eyes.

"I would like to ask the Minister: He became a minister.

How can ICT Because as far as I listened to the information from the secretary species

Shouldn't a conservative-species like yours be using modern technology?

Share files in Google Drive as"

The team chuckled in their throats.

"It's a good thing you didn't ask about this sentence first. Otherwise, you'll get 'Big Rex'.

It will definitely become a fossil if you step on it."

ฺ

Condition of the ICT Ministry of Tyne

Note - The following events are based on a true story:

Tulip bubble crisis (

The Dutch Tuplip Mania Bubble )

It is a true event that happened during the Golden Age of the Netherlands. When the price is set

Trade contracts for new tulip bulbs were unusually high, peaking before prices

will fall down suddenly In February 1637, during which

Tulip Mania 

is at its peak The contract price for tulips per capita was more than ten times the asking price.

The annual income of craftsmen during the same period This event is considered to be an event.

The first of the speculative bubbles (according to Wikipedia)

Incidentally, truly proud of the voice. The Thai Wikipedia is the only website in the world that

Translate words

Tulip Mania

"Tulip craze"

Lamarck's theory (

Lamarkism, Lamarckian inheritance)

It is a theory that Thai children will learn in Biology class, Mathayom 4, Term 2, named after the student.

french biology

Jean-Baptiste Lamarck (

Please don't confuse it with

Jeanne d'arc

in the game

Fate Grand Order)

The main idea is which part of the body?

of living things that are very active in life will be large

become stronger, while organs that are rarely used become weaker and shrink in size

and eventually deteriorates (reference)

Incidentally, this theory contradicts the currently accepted theory of evolution.

But it's strange that children in many countries are still studying (reference).

natural selection (

natural selection)

*Illustrations may hurt the feelings of members of the Giraffe Enthusiasts Association of Tyne (S.W.T.).

Said by Charles Darwin, it is believed to be the basic mechanism of birth.

Evolution: Natural selection produces populations with appropriate characteristics.

with the environment can continue to live and reproduce

Meanwhile, populations that are not suitable for the environment will be discarded.

and reduce the number

Simply put, the main idea of ​​this concept is "If you're weak, you'll lose."

(refer)

Furthermore, natural selection can also be used in other ways, such as

Capitalist society, capitalist regime and examinations

GAT PAT 

Bottleneck Effect

In Thai textbooks, the word "Bottleneck phenomenon"

(very direct translation and 'bottle head') is a biological phenomenon caused by

A large population whose population is rapidly decreasing due to

Natural disasters such as earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, food shortages

and an epidemic occurred causing the population that survived such events to have

The size decreases, resulting in the frequency of alleles in the gene pool of the living population.

Survival and reproductive success have changed from the original.

greatly, with some alleles increasing Some alleles are reduced.

Or some alleles may be missing from the population's gene pool.

If you don't understand, read. It is recommended that you click on the link to look at (references).

However, the existence of the country of Tyne, the documentary program Fantastic World,

News about ministers buying refrigerators, headstones and capitalist society in the Triassic period,

Dinosaur fossils with banknotes, behavior, diet and classification.

dinosaurs, existence of elements

Tax  

and dinosaurs at Parliament

They are all lies.