Cause I can't make you stay if you wanna go

But I will wait for you to say 'come home'

"Hi, Bae. . . can you come back?"

"Nah, come back and see me."

Inspiration by Song: My Favorite clothes - RINI 

“Bae, please give me some inhaler.” Tima felt dizzy when he smelled the scent of the next room's essential oils, which always drifted in through the window in the early hours like this. What can you do when the weather is this cold? Why would you let him turn on the air conditioner and waste electricity costs? Why do you think like this?

Abe heard this and reached out to get what his lover wanted. His little man was always like this when he smelled something that was too strong, whether it was bad or fragrant, but strangely, he was a fan of perfume. Various scents

Since we agreed to change our status from friends to lovers for 6 months, we decided to live together. Actually, our previous friend status could be called a fake friend because they intended to approach and flirt from the beginning, but for a reason. Sometimes we have to be friends first.

And having to be fake friends isn't necessarily good, but it isn't necessarily bad. Because the only thing he doesn't like the most about that status is that he can't be jealous of anything even though the person he likes is really fragrant, but the advantage of it is that it makes him a person who knows him well. end Accidentally better than himself.

And after a few months he decided to confess. And it was successful when Tima thought the same as him and we became lovers.

He became friends with Tima during the foundation adjustment period before the first year of school began. And they began to be lovers during the school term. Now, in Year 2, Semester 1, they have been together for over 1 year.

"What's wrong with you? Does it stink again?" He handed the inhaler to the person sitting on the sofa playing with an iPad. Decided to rest the report on the table and sat down next to his white man.

"Oh, it's so pungent that I'm dizzy. Are they putting it on for the fragrance or to repel mosquitoes?"

“Heh heh,” he smiled with the corner of his mouth.

“Eh, or really, he set out to chase us away?” Tima looked away from the iPad. and looked at me so seriously that I thought it was funny

“Haha, really great.” He pinched his nose tightly until the person was squeezed in front of him again and turned away.

You have a stubborn nose.

“Then close the balcony? The air isn't too hot, just a ceiling fan would be enough,” he offered. The person who was only focused on the iPad was silent for a fraction of a second before he nodded with a confused expression. Abel looked over and saw that his little guy was editing a picture of himself and himself. I'm here myself.

I remember that picture was from when we traveled to Hua Hin about a month ago.

The normal picture is already beautiful. I still don't know why I'm dressing up, but the little guy likes me and doesn't want to disobey me.

"Okay," he accepted, rubbing his lover's head and walking over to do as told.

Friends in the group have said that they believe that even if the little person on the sofa chases him to jump into a dirty mud pit for no reason, he still doesn't know if he's hit him or not, but he knows. That is, he loves Tima very much. I love like I've never been with anyone before. I'd say that from the first time I met I fell in love. To say that it was love at first sight would not be an exaggeration.

It was not until 11:00 p.m. when they went to bed and hugged each other like they used to be happy every day.

At midnight, he and Tima were already asleep, but he woke up sleepily because of a sudden I realized that I forgot to send the finished work files to my friends in the group for further collection, so I hurriedly got up to take care of it.

Uploading document files and sending them via email is simple and fast. He soon shut down the gray laptop on the table as soon as he finished using it. Abe walked over to the bed and scratched his belly, ready to sleep until the sun came out.

Crackling

But he couldn't close his eyes for a fraction of a second. Someone's cell phone notification sound suddenly rang. You must have picked it up and looked at it because both he and Tima had turned off the chat notification sound. In fact, he wouldn't have cared if he hadn't just sent his work to a friend. And he might have sent a message telling him to fix something, and if I remember correctly, he just sent the work file to a friend before bedtime as well.

He found an expensive phone that looked almost exactly the same, the only difference being the color of the phone casing. He started by unlocking his own locks first to see if there were any notifications to edit the work like he expected.

00.46 PM

Thursday, 22 Mar

It was empty, without any notifications.

He smiled, relieved that he didn't have to sit with his back rigid and fixing anything while he was sleepy like this.

He pressed the lock button on Tima's device.

The screen light immediately flashed on.

B E E N

I miss you. See you tomorrow, lovely person. 00.45

AM

building building

It's not a knocking sound. But instead, it was the sound of his own heart. The last time he remembered it beating this loud was when he was waiting to surprise the person sleeping next to him on his anniversary.

Another story that friends He used to say that he is a quick-witted person, has good sense, can learn and make connections. He quickly felt that it was true today.

In his head, he immediately searched for this name as well as various suspicious events. It was like the story was arranged in his head, pieced together into a sequence, until finally his trembling eyes focused on the notification on Tima's lock screen, even though she wasn't a person who liked to mess around with personal things, even those she loved. He respected his privacy now that he was fully awake.

More than awake, he decided to unlock the cell phone of the person next to him in order to find out the truth.

but

Tima changed the code.

This phone code is not his birthday. Or our anniversary anymore?

He had never felt so dizzy before, but he wasn't so distraught that he couldn't think of this Mr. Bean. Should be my senior year. 3 which is the month of the supervisory team of Tima

Many times he went to eat at Tima's group and had to wait for Tima until the time to rest with friends was over. He told me that Tim had gone to discuss business with a senior. It's been like this for months. I once asked about this. Tima also said that he had a project for some subjects that he studied together with last year. 3 and must work together I understand because my group has something like this too.

But it's come this second. I could only think that the reason he made me wait half an hour every day to discuss business with the seniors was.

What kind of business is this?

I closed my eyes. Surprisingly, from the corner of my eyes, a drop of warm, wet water flowed out. I turned on my side and grabbed the body that was sleeping comfortably under the blanket and hugged it to my chest.

If a person who is sleeping wakes up It was probably normal for him to grab the smaller person and hug him, but for me it was a hug. . . strange, I tried to chase things away. that arranges events into one's head

I don't want to think about anything crazy.

At least tonight, can I hug him with the same feelings as I did a year ago.. .

Or maybe he's uncomfortable with this embrace. .

“Bae, coffee and bread are on the table. Ti hurries to talk about work. Let's go first.” The little person who looked rushed this morning approached him in the bedroom, not forgetting to wake him up, spoke quickly, and then left.

It would be like this every day if someone had to rush out to study first.

We'll kiss each other's foreheads But I only noticed last night that I don't know how long ago it wasn't like that. Abe just thought that Tima still did everything the same as before, so normal that he didn't notice the change.

Abel got out of bed. He walked over to the balcony of the room where he could see the road in front of the apartment. He didn't know what it was that wanted to bully him because the moment he stood, he saw a strange car pick up his lover and drive away.

He didn't dare cry. or even regret because the truth is not yet clear He may have misunderstood.

He walked over and sat at the dining table, where there was fragrant black coffee, still warm, and slightly toasted bread that his lover had actually prepared for him. Abe would have eaten it more happily. If you haven't seen the crazy notifications That was last night and the incident where the lover just got into the car, who doesn't know just now.

The sound of the wall clock syncs with the long and continuous sound of the keyboard. Since that day it has passed. 2 weeks and two very uncomfortable weeks.

At first, everything was the same, but it seemed like I had discovered something that the other person was intending to conceal. So I was able to observe many things, for example, he rarely let me pick him up after school. True, it had been like this for a few months before, but I understood that he probably had work. But lately it's become too clear that on Saturdays and Sundays he's not as free as before, and that's probably because he probably wants to spend time with someone else. Strange atmosphere

What happened and what was most noticeable was that he Stuck with a cell phone

I may be a coward for not daring to ask honestly, but how can I do this when I myself know that I probably cannot accept the truth?

Please give me a little more time. Please let me calm down.

"Uh...Bae, today I'm going out to drink with the Chinese guys." Friends He's the gang. This group loves each other very much. Everyone in the group has always helped each other in various matters. Even though I myself have spoken to me about how much I love this group of friends, when I think of the happy faces of my little ones, Can't help but smile.

“Can you hear us?” Tima asked again. We didn't look at each other. Because I'm busy working.

Actually, I want to thank the teacher. Even though before I had always cursed him about the amount of work that was overwhelming, now I want to thank him. I want to respect you for keeping me busy with my studies.

“Oh, uh. I heard. . .Take care of yourself and don't come back late,” Abe said all the time. The other person groaned, and after walking to change clothes, he left the room in less than 10 minutes.

2 weeks ago He acted very strangely, as if he knew I already knew. I stopped working with my hand at 6 p.m. and my strength seemed to disappear. My brain couldn't think of any words to describe the long report.

It's 3:30 a.m. and I'm sitting on the sofa in the living room playing with my iPad because I'm waiting for someone else who went out to hang out and hasn't actually returned until now. After two weeks, I was finally able to knock the idea into my head. Because really, I might be misunderstanding and making Tima uncomfortable.

As soon as he started to think about it a little, it felt like he was starting to feel comfortable. His stomach immediately groaned in protest. Because in the past few days I haven't eaten much, probably because I'm stressed about work and this.

Abe decided to go down to the convenience store below his apartment and take the elevator down. Keep walking and soon you'll arrive. Buy a lot of things to eat. Due to his large stature, he ate quite a lot.

He carried a large convenience store bag with one hand and walked into the apartment late at night until almost morning. The other hand was scrolling through his Facebook timeline, watching his little girlfriend's movements, making sure that he probably wasn't drunk. Where did he press the elevator button? After waiting for a while, I looked up from my mobile phone screen again when the elevator opened and I had to walk in.

When I reached my room, I walked out into the corridor, but what I saw made my hands tremble. The convenience store bag in his hand would never pass because he gripped it tightly.

When the picture in front It was his little girlfriend who was kissing passionately and snuggling with that bean while his hands were caressing his girlfriend's body all over. His small legs under his black jeans were propped up on one side of his body, while Bean's hands supported his small arms around his neck. The whole scene wouldn't have hurt him this much if his little man hadn't. There was an attitude of consent like that.

His patience seemed to be running thin without him having to investigate any further.

Your sense is really good, Abe.

“Why don't you guys just go fuck in the room?!” he shouted so loudly that the two people who were hugging each other before were thrown away from each other like they were hit by hot objects.

He placed the plastic bag in his hand in the corridor and the last image was the blank face of his lover, who didn't even bother to rush in to explain that he might have misunderstood.

His tongue pressed against his cheek, holding back his anger. Abe decided to walk out.

Luckily, the car keys were in his pants in the first place and his wallet was in the other pocket. The apartment elevator was so slow that he wanted to get out and run down the stairs. before cursing under his breath and kicking the elevator loudly once.

Why is there nothing like what I want?

Crackling

An expensive communication device vibrates rapidly, causing the owner of the device to get up and press the button to see it.

Light and soft sunlight It's a picture from the balcony area.

Tima rubbed her eyes to get rid of the eye blemishes and blurry symptoms. After waking up, she went out to grab an expensive mobile phone and opened it to see why it was vibrating like this.

Beanie

Incoming call and the name displayed Making him smile slightly, he swiped the screen without hesitation. A pleading voice mixed with sleepiness filled the line. Not even five minutes later he hung up as he was about to walk into the kitchen to get coffee in the kitchen. He suddenly thought of something.

Last night, it seemed that something he had been hiding for months had finally been revealed, causing Tima to stop and take her beautiful hand down from the black coffee mug that had been placed on the device. The events in front of the room's door and the hallway were clearly showing. In his head, Abe's disappointed expression was something he had never seen before. But I could interpret it without asking.

He can think of everything, but it's strange...that he doesn't feel sorry or cry.

He must be a very bad person.

And yes, he double-talks.

Just chatting, but what happened last night was probably because he was somewhat intoxicated and didn't think carefully. P'Bean just wanted to kiss goodbye, but it turned out that the lights were on and that's what Abe saw.

He knows he's doing something bad, but what can he do when he feels better about Pee Bean than Abe, who's with him most of the time? He was thinking about whether or not we should just be friends like before. And somehow this matter must be revealed.

Pee Bean is a good person. Take good care of him and take care of him. Sometimes he looks a lot like Abe. The difference is only in appearance. and a few more habits It makes him like this person. He shouldn't be ashamed, he knows that, but he's always liked to do what he wanted. So what's wrong with him if he feels good about Pee Bean? Open up and talk to each other and maybe even date each other. The next day

Crack!

The sound of the room door being opened A chill chilled his spine. This room could only accommodate three people: the apartment owner, him, and... “Abe.”

“. . .” Abe didn't look at him and headed towards our bedroom. He was still in the same clothes from last night and it made that crazy scene replay in his head.

". . ." Tima didn't know what to say, just stood still and watched as a tall, honey-skinned person walked out of the room carrying a large suitcase. He put it against the wall of the room and walked to take a shower. Every action is made as if Tima is not in the room. This was until Abe finished taking a shower and getting dressed. He looked around as if he was forgetting something else and finally stopped looking at him. Empty eyes So do your eyesight.

Even though they had been together for a year now, he still couldn't guess the feelings or even the emotions of the person in front of him.

A tall figure walked towards him in Bae's kitchen area, dressed in a black t-shirt and his favorite faded jeans with ripped knees.

“. . .” Abe walked and stood in front of him for a moment. His eyes flashed with regret and longing, and soon they returned to being as empty as before, making Tima realize that he never knew that Abe He was so good at suppressing his feelings, it was him who felt the trembling.

“Is there something you want to say?” Abe asked quietly, his voice tinging slightly with weakness if you listened carefully.

“. . .” Tima pursed her lips tightly, unintentionally clenching her fists nervously. Her previous confidence seemed to be completely dispelled when she heard the voice and saw the cold expression of the person in front of her and her pronouns had changed.

“I will ask again. Do you have something to say to us?”

It's changed like when we were just friends.

“Okay.” Abe seemed impatient, even though he was a calm person and usually waited patiently for things. He made his decision with a straight face and prepared himself as he walked out.

"Wait..." It was Tima who grabbed the tall figure's strong arm.

". . ." Abe didn't say anything, just turned and looked.

"Ti. . . Ti doesn't love Bae anymore." It was strange again now that tears were flowing down his cheeks without even himself realizing it, even though he hadn't really felt sorry before.

“. . . Tim has already told us. "Last night." The viscous liquid was swallowed with difficulty for the umpteenth time. In the heads of both of them, images of the events of the same period were replayed over and over, only different perspectives.

"Ah. . . say we. . break up." His voice trailed off. When he realized that the tears were crazy This flowed down his cheeks and sobs flowed down his back, making him tremble. Even though he really wasn't that sad, even though he only thought about Pee Bean in the previous episode.

“. . .” Abe didn't say anything, but an unexpected act occurred. Bath's fingers wiped away the tears that had flowed down his cheeks once again as those gentle eyes returned.

His heart said this would be the last time he saw it.

“Don't cry often. Tima has a headache after crying so hard every time.. . ” Apart from the gentle tone everywhere. His eyes were red, as if they were filled with water.

“Bae. . .don't you criticize me a bit? Huh?” he asked curiously.

"no. . "

"Why. ."

“Bena will love you too. And it's probably because Abe prepared himself well enough.” Even though he said that, Abe's voice was trembling until he could feel it.

". . excuse me"

“Good luck. . .May Ti be happy.” The last kiss on Tim's rounded forehead came after he hadn't done it in a long time.

“Phi Bean, which one is better, this one or this one?” Tima asked in a clear voice. Along with handing out an iPad that had been edited with pictures of him and the other person to scroll back and forth so he could make a clearer comparison.

“This one.” Bean scrolled to the second picture and smiled. I edited it a little more and uploaded it to Instagram.

Bean looked at his girlfriend and smiled widely, looking at the pictures where he was setting up the lights. They were pictures of him and Bean going to Dream World together two months ago. The little guy had just finished working on a project. I'll just have free time to decorate it.

His personality is as cute as a pastel flower in the morning. He is not a man with a pretty face or a very handsome man, but has both sides of him. But for him, he is more cute than a smart dresser who doesn't dress well. It doesn't mean being sensual or sexy, but it means matching clothes perfectly. Matches with your own style

"P'Bean, I'm hungry. Let's go eat." Tima suddenly cried out, hungry. He immediately got up, not needing to be called again because he was hungry as well. He just sat in the other person's room and forgot that there was nothing in their stomachs yet.

"Let's go," Bean said, pulling out the car keys from his pocket and holding it up. For a moment he realized that today was an important day.

It's his and his sibling's 2 year anniversary.

After the crazy event That day, the secret of both him and his younger sibling was revealed. It wasn't long before he asked his younger sibling to be with him. In fact, only God knows. that he intentionally let it happen

The reason is because he likes him too much to the point where the final answer to this feeling is to possess him, and he realizes how similar he is to his former lover, so he just uses it to his advantage. And of course everything went according to plan. and got every result

It got good results too.

But recently, his fiery energy felt like it had been washed away by rainwater until it had burned away, leaving not even a speck of ashes to remember him. Why? Because... you never forgot your old lover. So?

Now he was no different from that person's representative.

The younger one also looked as if he had been deceived by hallucinations all along, only changing his name.

But everything the younger siblings did with him had the word Abe overlaid all over it.

A period of two years ago Later he began to realize It had made him very discouraged and discouraged for a while, and because only God knew how big he had been last time, he had to learn the lesson in silence by himself, thus looking for the right moment to stop. I saw my own selfishness just like this.

But even so, he really hoped that there wouldn't be any crazy moments. There is nothing to reassure him that he has not forgotten his old love.

But I want you to know that one thing that will never change from his heart is that he loves his younger sibling, Raktima loves him very much.

But this matter or the story of the younger sibling and other people That shouldn't have had him in the first place.

“Is it delicious?” Bean asked as we both sat in a famous dessert shop in the area after eating dinner.

“Oh, it's delicious.” The little man nodded. Those juicy lips really caught his eye. It was messy but before he wiped it away like in the drama scene, Nong seemed to realize. And wiped it off with his favorite faded jeans.

“It's all messed up.”

“It's okay, just wash it,” he said, smiling, looking at the slight stain of honey on the sleeve of this jeans jacket. He wore it so often that he remembered it. that it was the shirt that the younger brother wore And I always wear it everywhere. It must be very expensive and I love it this much.

“Do you love this shirt so much?” Nong nodded, wide-eyed. She passed by until she was in Year 4 and he was working, and she still looked young and cute.

"I love you, you're so beautiful." She moved her shirt to show off her proud breasts. He was instigated and continued to ask.

“Who bought it for you?”

“Of. . . Abe.” At first it seemed like he didn't think anything of it, but the last two syllables at the end of his soft voice It caused silence.

It seems stupid to me to ask this question.

God messed with me and I, being careful, made the mistake of creating an opportunity to end this relationship for myself.

". . ." Tima pursed his lips tightly. He always had this expression when he was nervous. or in a situation that is not good

“Please collect the money,” was the sound of a bean that broke the silence. By calling a dessert shop employee to come and collect money even though the whole store is crowded with people. But suddenly an uncomfortable atmosphere formed.

In the past, when talking about Tim's ex-lovers, we usually ended up arguing. Or they are upset with each other. It's strange that after 2 years old things for them are still new and fresh for some people.

She doesn't talk about Abe and lives happily with him like she never had a girlfriend before. And Abe never showed his face to them even once. Tima never showed any signs of missing his old lover. It made him think that he might have forgotten about him. But today, it made him... He thinks that you haven't forgotten more, but that you just feel like you have a new Abe.

What is not ours It will never be ours.

It's over, he's really tired.

The car was completely silent. The sensitive issue from earlier at the dessert shop kept replaying in the couple's heads until a luxury car was parked in front of Tima's apartment, but the little man didn't step out of the car. That's because he held that small hand. The atmosphere was uncomfortable before, like clouds that had formed and thickened.

It's about to rain heavily.

“I said...” Bean said in a quiet voice, his eyes still staring at the rain clouds through the windshield with his eyes vacant and hurt.

“What are you going to say?” The younger brother's voice was trembling, not being stupid. You know what is about to happen.

“I will tell you. .Let's break up.”

“We're better off like this. Trust me." He squeezed his hand a little harder. The younger sister squeezed the answer firmly.

“Why... Ti is a bad person?” He turned to look at Ti's other side, tightly gripping the hem of his jeans jacket. Actually, this shirt was too big to really belong to Ti.

"Because I don't love you." Tears streamed down both cheeks.

“But I don't love Bae anymore. . P'Bean doesn't believe it or criticizes it. If so, criticize it. .”

Before the little man could finish his trembling voice, He pressed a finger to his lips. The little boy pursed his lips tightly. And let the tears flow without stopping, “I don't love you. .Or I don't know if I love you."

“But Ti never forgot Bae. . Believe me."

“But. .”

“Let's just have enough of this. .”

Tima is probably so sad that she doesn't want to bear the burden. He shook Bean's hand, grabbed the things he had put there, and got out of the car. He quickly ran up to his apartment.

It's over.

It's finished. .God, I paid it all off.

“Huh!” The sound of sobbing echoed in the darkness and silence of the room. The owner buried his face in the pillow on the bed.

What is this?

Tima thought in his heart, he was crying and sobbing, partly because he had been dumped by the girlfriend he loved so much. But later, when he ran with tears streaming down his cheeks up to his room, it made him think of that sentence from Phi Bean.

'I don't love you. .Or I don't know if I love you'

'But Ti never forgot Bae. .Believe me'

It's like the images of many actions we have had together over the past 2 years are flowing back into my head like a leaking faucet. More than 70% of them are things he used to do when he was with Abe and the rest is not much. It's what he remembers right and wrong about small details. A little between P'Bean and Abe

He had misunderstood himself all along, understanding that he didn't love him. and forgot about Abe, but every time it was raised as an issue between him and Pee Bean, there was always a problem because he refused. He accidentally says the wrong thing or accidentally doesn't always treat P'Bean kindly because sometimes he always thinks P'Bean is Abe.

I think so. Tima got up. He wiped away his tears and looked around the dark room. with only light from the moon shining

Everything is still the same.

Just like when Abe was still here.

"Huh, I'm really bad."

Not only did he have no one left, but he also hurt two people.

The smoke from the nicotine stick wafted through the air as the thin, now pale lips puffed out. Red Marbolo cigarettes 3In the past half hour of Tima He didn't think that crying until he lost all his strength would make him not know the taste of cigarettes. It was Abe's cigarette that was placed on the balcony.

How long has Brother Bean had to endure something like this? It really doesn't matter to him.

The sleeves of his jean jacket were frayed from being folded up until the little man's hand was clenched in annoyance. He raised it up to wipe away his tears. When that happens, it makes me think of looking at this shirt even though the things in the room haven't changed or moved at all. But Abe had so little that he took it all away that day.

The only thing was this jacket, which was so clingy that the owner must have forgotten it was his own. Tim took it off and hugged it tightly to his chest. Hiding his face, missing the face of someone who had disappeared for 2 years, he crushed the end of the cigarette in his hand into the ashtray. And changed to sniffing this jacket instead, even though he had washed it so many times that it no longer had the owner's smell, but anyway... it was Abe's.

Just one item. .of someone he has never forgotten in the slightest.

Crackling

Some notification sound from his phone rang. It was kept in the pocket of this jacket. When I pulled it out, I found that it was a notification from Facebook that today was Abe's birthday.

"Abe. . . Very excited. I'm sorry." He unlocked the screen and went to look at another person's Facebook page and rambled on apologizing like that. But I didn't even dare to greet him.

But that heart wants so much

want to hear the sound

Hands are faster than the brain I pressed all the way to the address book and scrolled to a number that hadn't been called in over 2 years.

and

Cabinet . . Cabinet . .

[Hello, hello. ]