Monday is a normal day for a fourth grade girl who has to go to school. But what I hate the most happened this morning: 'It's raining'.

I hate the rain. It makes me feel lonely and it makes sick people like me have a fever while sleeping in their room. Since when did I hate the rain when I was often sick? When I'm alone on a rainy day Or when the person I loved the most died on a rainy day. So, what is the reason? In the end, we had to stop this part of our thinking. Because I've arrived at school.

“The sky is gone.”

“Um, please study hard. Don't just play on the phone."

“Yes,” I turned to answer my mother sitting next to me. before walking out of the car

"Wow, that's boring." It's 8:30 a.m. It's good that there's a Chinese class in the morning today and I can get in late, plus it's raining. It probably doesn't matter, right? I can only keep walking. Until the school building, I met my junior high school counselor.

“Hello, Teacher Cat.”

“Hello, have you stopped being late again?”

"Ha, it's difficult." I didn't want to come here. So I could only give him a wry smile.

“Try to get in, or you'll get addicted to the mind. Teacher, go to the administrative room first."

"Yes, hello teacher." I said goodbye to Teacher Maew before walking up to the classroom.

It's strange. It's already eight-twenty-one. Why isn't there anyone there? Before I turned to the room of people who didn't have Chinese background studying in another room, I only saw two friends sitting there, so I went in to ask.

“Where have all your friends gone?”

“I don't know.”

“We don't know either. I wonder if it's raining."

“Oh, please stay in this room first.” I sat down in the vacant seat. Waiting for a friend who is in the same class to come, my life goes in circles like this. Coming to study and returning home has always been like this.

I studied third language arts at a provincial government school. Plus, it was all women in middle school, but there were some men in high school. (Just some people) My room is called a joke. that the room is devoid of people Because there are no men?

As for the language I study, Chinese, this group is divided into basic and non-basic. This does not mean that other friends are not good at it or that the class is good at the basics. But divided according to test scores.

HSK2

When entering school, if the score was more than half, I would stay in the basic room because some of my friends, including myself, had studied in elementary or middle school and would have some old knowledge base. There were only nine people in my class who were. Children who have studied before The rest are friends who just arrived.

I studied in elementary school, but I stopped studying during middle school and missed some time, so my basic skills were weaker than my friends in the class with basic skills. (Nowadays, I go back and read what I studied in elementary school, but I still can't quite read it.

t-t)

Ever since I read it, I've probably been confused about what it has to do with rain and the title. It's related because it rained all day that day, so the next day I had a fever and accidentally told my mother the story that I had been hiding all this time, leading to the fact that I was depressed.

Yes, I have depression. I always knew I had this disease. On the day I told his mother, he cried too haha. He cried because he didn't think it was me, even though I was still trying to fool myself. I asked to be taken to a psychiatrist because the thoughts of hurting myself became so intense that I couldn't control myself.

But today, all I could do was cry in the morning before dragging myself to take a test in one subject, because in this subject the teacher said that if one person was missing from that group, points would be deducted and they would have to take the test themselves. And I don't want to be any more of a hindrance than this.

On Saturday of that week, I went to the local clinic to confirm that I was sick. The result was as expected: I was really sick.

After the people in the house found out, they were very shocked (millions of them) because I acted like I didn't seem very worried, but everyone who has this disease is really good at hiding their feelings.

If asked what exactly did we want to say or what was the purpose of what we wrote all along? We have harmed ourselves, which we believe that everyone with this disease has done violently, to a greater or lesser extent. We just want to recover from this disease. And this is part of venting our feelings, hoping that it might make us heal ourselves a bit.

And I hope that it will tell people who are sick that they are not alone. Let's start over and let's try together, right?

P.S. Sky's name isn't our real name.