This short story was entered into the 2019 Phan Waen Fah Award competition, but was eliminated due to the content being too hilarious, haha.

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Mr. Jun and the precious water

Once upon a time, but not long enough to make the writer forget, there was a village that people called Baan Nonjoko There was a young boy named Jun. His full name was Mr. Chanisawarasat He was a young man born into a good family. Have a willingness to learn Some are hardworking, some are lazy. Has a lovely personality and a kind heart.

A lot of people have morals that lead society to peace. Okay, let's get to the next story.

Mr. Jun is a person who likes to think and do things that many people don't expect (unthinkable). Once, he caught a rice field mouse that was secretly eating seedlings in the rice field. He was very angry at it, so he locked it in a coop. (Barn) to punish him and make him feel guilty, but the result? Huh! That mouse happened to be a female, so it gave birth to a litter of offspring.

Mr. Jun saw this and became very angry. Turning left and right, my eyes fell on a very skinny cat. He managed to catch the lucky cat and go eat the rats in the coop. However, the cat still couldn't eat all the rats because a week later he died!

When he can't rely on the cat, our hero Jun grabs a fat dog and throws it into the coop to make it eat the rats. A week later, Mr. Jun came to open the coop and it turned out that the dog was completely dead!

'Alright, you bastard. If you're this good It seems that I will have to take a final measure.' With that, Mr. Jun walked all the way from his house into the city. to buy the most powerful poison to poison the rats His decision paid off in the end, and the enemy mouse died from eating poisoned food in the coop. After I died, Mr. Jun just realized that

'Now the rice in the barn is full of poison. We definitely won't be able to eat that rice.' Thinking this, Mr. Jun set fire to his own rice in the coop. Alas, the fire did not burn just the rice. But it also burned down his coop! Mr. Jun pondered that this year he would not have food to eat if he did not find some benefit from his behavior this time.

After the fire subsided, Mr. Jun collected the remaining charcoal from the remains of the coop and took it to exchange for rice in the district. Along the way, he met an old philosopher and poet named Uncle Chanda. Mr. Jun told the story of what had happened. Uncle Chanda listened in case he could apply his ideas to the next time. When he finished listening, Uncle Chanda laughed and said,

'Oh my gosh...if you let those field mice eat, they'll stay in the field like before. How much rice are you going to waste?' Mr. Jun thought about his words and said,

'In the beginning it was as loud as before. Wandering Musikawan uproots seedlings. which damaged many trees on the rice field So I punished him out of anger.' Uncle Chanda then explained the matter.

'How much waste is it that makes you afraid? And it was like that. You punished him with a whole pile of rice.' Mr. Jun thought about it.

'What a fool I am, what a shame I dared to waste my foolish coop. It was like it always was. And why do cats and dogs have to die?' Uncle Chanda then revealed that

'The cat and dog are dehydrated and have no meaning. Water must be nourished and nourished. Enough to nourish the body. It's a pity you forgot to give it to your dog and cat.' When I heard his words, Doubt disappears everywhere.

'This water is excellent. Is there any line of water that can be compared to it?' Returning from the home of Uncle Chanda, the wise man and poet of the district, Mr. Jun thought that even though the ordinary water in our country was just this good, what if the water in other cities far away would be even more excellent? How big is Sri? From then on, Mr. Jun came up with a plan to hunt down the wonderful magic water. He started by asking Uncle Joi, a drunken deacon, which water was the best. Uncle Joi replied:

'Siwa liquor water is the most wonderful.' When he went to see the monk who was pouring holy water on the kith and kin who were possessed by ghosts, he told Mr. Chun that

'This holy water is the best.' When I asked the mangy dog ​​in the temple, he said,

'My urine is the best. If I go anywhere, I pee on trees, grass, or things to prevent me from getting lost. It can also show its territory,' said the mangy dog. Mr. Jun was confused by the dog's answer. He walked to the back of the temple and found an undertaker preparing coconut water to wash the corpse's face. He asked the same question. The undertaker replied:

'The water that has good qualities will definitely only be coconut water.' Having received the answer, our Mr. Jun headed towards the northwest.

He wandered far and wide until he came upon a gloomy castle. The sign in front of the castle has an inscription that reads: Dracula's Castle There are no activities to disturb. Out of curiosity, Mr. Jun decided to knock on the door. No matter how he knocked, the door wouldn't open. He still didn't give up his effort and continued to knock. It took 3 years, 4 months, 5 days, 6 hours, 7 minutes, 8

The next moment, his eyes flickered and he saw a small button on the wall next to the castle gate. Of course it's the bell button! He didn't hesitate to press it. As soon as he pressed the button, a large Frankenstein walked up and opened the door for him.

Along the way, Mr. Jun saw a flower garden that was filled with various types of flowering plants, both Thai and international, on both sides of the road, sending out a fragrant scent everywhere. He stopped and asked the castle gardener:

'What water is the best?' the gardener said.

'Water that waters trees and makes them grow is the most precious,' Mr. Jun thanked him before leaving.

During the walk he covered a distance of 15 A few meters from the gate, he saw a handsome man standing and waving his wand, commanding his trusty broom to sweep up the dry leaves. No one would know his name if he spoke. Sure enough, he was a famous wizard who now took on a special job raking leaves in the garden during school break. Mr. Jun raised his hand in greeting and asked the same question.

'The famous wizard What water do you say is the best?' The young wizard moved his round glasses back and forth and a gentle breeze blew his scalloped bangs up, exposing a lightning-shaped scar.

'Water like that? It must come from the Holy Grail.' After receiving the answer, our hero from Ban Non Jogo left to continue walking towards the inner castle.

As soon as the grand castle doors opened, Frankenstein takes Mr. Jun up in the elevator to the 666th floor. As soon as the elevator door opened, he noticed a large wooden coffin standing tall. Frank walked over and kicked it 3 times while shouting:

'Dragon...someone's here' he said, and the closed coffin lid was lifted up like a hydraulic mechanism for Dracula to lift his body up from the red velvet covered coffin and decorated with it. Internal home theater system

'Hello,' Mr. Jun raised his hand in greeting.

'I would like to ask you: What is the best water?' Dracula grinned, showing only gaps in his teeth, he patted Mr. Jun's shoulder authoritatively.

'Young man? The most precious water is the blood of a virgin,' Mr. Jun thought as he glanced at the castle owner's pale white skin.

'Lord Drake, have you heard people from the east say that if you get exposed to the sun your skin will melt? Is it true?'

Dracula heard this and laughed.

'Haha. In the past, even the sun as hot as a flame wouldn't irritate my skin. A few years ago, I became allergic to mercury from the skin of the white girls whose blood I sucked. Some of these girls are extremely beautiful and very high class, but they use cheap cosmetics that are not produced up to standard, causing me who drank their blood to become allergic.

Since then, I haven't been able to go out in the sun.' Mr. Jun nodded in understanding, thinking back to when he came in and why there was such a large flower garden here. Mr. Drake snapped his finger once, Franken. Stein brought a viewing camera to view the castle's scenery. Mr. Jun frowned when he saw the beautiful young woman in a tall robe. He was surprised and asked the gardener.

'Who is this young woman? Why are you walking around the garden here?' Dracula smiled mischievously before answering.

'That's the beautiful princess from Daha. Named Phra Daughta Busaba Beside that, there is a procession wearing the Chada outfit. All the daughters of Thao Samala came to find flowers and prepare garlands for the ceremony of choosing a partner. This garden I ordered the gardener to build to trap girls from various literary works who come to see the garden, and then I will take the opportunity to suck their blood. Haha' Lord Drake laughed at Mr. Jun's cleverness. I would like to take leave to continue looking for the precious water.

Mr. Jun left the castle and walked all the way to the cashew nut forest. Here he encountered a fat, evil-looking hunter carrying a Remington 700.30-06 rifle. Springfield, his beloved, walks behind Mr. Chun's gray tiger, raising his hand in greeting and asking. 'Hunter, in this cashew forest, what water is the best, the most precious?' The hunter replied with a smile and introduced himself in a hint.

'Young man...the most precious water is water from the pond. Why? Huh! Before, I was just a simple hunter in the forest until one day I caught Manorah who was playing in the pond and brought it to the Lord Buddha. And then my life changed. I was able to turn my shabby little hut into a mansion and clear some of the forest to make it a resort for princes from various cities to relax and admire the Kinnaree ladies who came to play in the water. I remade my bow into an expensive rifle. I turned the lasso into an expensive wire and still had enough gold left over to lend to the people of Panchalanagar,' the hunter proudly recalled.

'Well! Has this young man come all the way here to pay respects to the city governor yet? If he hasn't gone yet, may I also leave an offering to His Majesty the King? And don't be afraid of the palace soldiers. If they attack you, tell them that you are a merit hunter and those soldiers will provide convenience.' Mr. Jun nodded in agreement before asking.

‘What is the gift I want to present?’ Phran Boon took out some things from a small white bag in the shape of a semi-circle which consisted of: A mammoth head with 4.5 meter long tusks, a bison head measuring 17 inches at the base, a large white rhinoceros head and the remains of a gray tiger.

'Oh...Pranbun. How can you fit this much stuff into a small bag?' Phran Bun smiled.

'Oh my gosh, this bag I got from the forest of Mount Fuji in Japan. At that time, I was joining a trip to see the work with Phra Suthon, so I accidentally came across this creature with a face that looked like a slow loris. Eyes as big as a fist. Its body is fat and round, looking like both a pig and a bear, but it has a marsupial on its belly.

Its body is a bit blue. People there call it "dumbly or something". So I hunted down its belly skin and made a bag. I didn't want to think that this tiny bag would be able to hold so much stuff,' Phran Boon proudly recalled. Then Mr. Chun said goodbye to Phrapan Sin! Phran Boon walked into the palace and took the things away. Leave Phra Suthon as promised to the hunter.

Mr. Jun gave the things to Phra Suthon and completely forgot to ask about the precious water. On the way back, he met with palace soldiers. When he told them that he was a merit-making hunter, the soldiers gave him good hospitality as the hunter had boasted. really

'If the soldier hadn't told me, I wouldn't have known that this was the Department of Corrections.' Mr. Jun looked around at the strange place the palace soldiers had brought to admire. Mr. Jun looked left and right and immediately caught the eye of a hermit. locked up in prison

'This hermit has been in prison for over a hundred years. Charged with forging official documents, he has been in prison since the era of King Meri.' Mr. Jun listened and his eyes widened.

'Oh..Young man, have you never watched the morning drama on Channel Mak Si called Nang Sib Dok? The hero of the story is Phra Rod Sen or in his current life Phra Suthon?' Mr. Jun to Bang Or

'Has this hermit been stuck for that long?' The palace soldier nodded.

'Of course, he was seriously punished. It is said that before he was ordained, he was a government official who liked to forge documents for private companies to evade taxes. When he was caught, he fled the case and went to become a monk in the forest. You are a master forger of documents. Even after being ordained, he still hasn't left his signature and is still working hard to translate a message for His Majesty, but young man, don't get carried away,' the palace soldier said, whispering loudly so that only the two of them could hear.

'If in his previous life Phra Sen had not requested refuge in a foreign country in time, he would have been imprisoned by now and would not have been reborn like this. What's the point of getting a girl drunk and stealing his property?' So Mr. Jun wasn't surprised why Phra Suthon and Phran Bun got along so well. In the next room was an old foreigner reminiscing about some kind of bean. Before he could ask, Brother Wang first spoke.

'That's Uncle Jack. You're in prison for killing and stealing the giant who owned the chicken that laid golden eggs and also stole his harp.' Mr. Jun shook his head slightly, feeling sorry for him before turning to look at his older sister, whose hair was bobbed black and whose skin was white like a banana. Singing opera songs clinging to the bars of her cell.

'Is that Miss Snow White, what is her full name?' Her white beauty and aura were so mesmerizing that Master Jun couldn't take his eyes off.

‘Is there any way I can help this older sister out?’ The palace soldier listened and shook his head.

'It's difficult. She was charged with making cosmetics that were not up to standard. She also mixed mercury into the cream. And the other charge is the charge of child labor. I suspect that the young man's house might be so deserted that he will never hear of her again. Well, the 7 dwarfs were actually children who she forced to stir up skin cream in the factory. When soldiers went to inspect, she lied about the 7 dwarfs.

What kind of dwarf is he who hasn't even lost one of his baby teeth yet?' The palace soldier finished speaking and asked to go his separate ways to work. Mr. Jun then asked to go on his way as well.

Mr. Jun walked all the way to a port city. The smell of Aunt Orn's noodle soup wafted into his nostrils until Jun couldn't help but go in and try it. He sat at a table with a goldsmith, a knife smith, and a petroleum surveyor. While waiting for the noodles, Mr. Jun asked a popular question.

'What do you think is the best water?' the goldsmith replied.

‘Good mercury water makes good work,’ said the knife smith.

'The right amount of water to moisten a knife can make it as hard as water,' said a petroleum technician.

'Oil is the best. It makes machines move,' said Aunt On, a noodle seller.

'Auntie's soup, made for dozens of generations, must be the best.'

'The tone is the best.' The skilled music teacher roughly moved the loincloth around his neck and replied with a smile.

'Nam Aoi Nam Jai,' the ragged beggar replied, holding out an old coconut shell in front of Mr. Jun. He smiled, showing off his blackened teeth before continuing.

'A generous person is a noble person. Do you have a baht or two?'

Mr. Jun got up from the noodle shack on the side of the ferry.

'Brother, what water do you say is the best?' Just finished the question. The round-faced rower moved the brim of his wide woven hat just a little, revealing a sharp face with sword eyebrows running diagonally over his dark hawk eyes, making his sun-bleached face look resolute and bold-mouthed. Smiling, his eyes looked at the distant valley.

'The tears of my father and mother are the most precious. You ungrateful father and mother, I will not let your tears pour on the earth go to waste. I will take revenge on the mean person who dared you to shed tears.' Mr Jun's mouth widened.

'Brother, meeting you is a blessing. I can't lead you to the shore of your dreams. You have to rely on yourself.' With that said, the young rower tightened his grip on the sword at his waist and leapt onto the surface of the water and floated as far as the eye could see.

'Don't go yet,' Mr. Jun shouted at the top of his voice.

'Don't hold back on me, this grudge must be settled' Tails shouted loudly from far away. I really want to tell you that you forgot to leave the paddle for me.

When there are no rowers, there are no oars. Mr. Jun then used both hands to shake the little boat and float it slowly down the river flowing into the sea. At the mouth of the bay, he met an elderly man who stood comfortably playing his flute on the waterfront, his long, flower-colored hair flowing smoothly over his neck, his deep eyes showing knowledge like that of a royal philosopher. Mr. Jun shouted and asked.

'Uncle, what kind of water is the best?' The old man slowly put down his flute. With a mouth that looked as firm as a mountain, he replied,

'Wariduriyang[1]' suddenly an unexpected event occurred. Nai Jun's boat capsized at the mouth of the bay and he was adrift far from shore. It was so far away that Jun himself couldn't even figure out where this place was.

As Mr. Jun was about to sink, he swallowed a gulp of water. With the extreme salinity of the water He said to himself, 'Oh, are we floating here in the middle of a salt marsh?' He choked on the water, gulp after gulp, until he 99 Immediately his ears heard a loud noise coming from a distance.

Mr. Jun was startled and looked around but didn't see him. He calmly turned around. That moment The water splashed and a tiger's skin could be seen floating above the surface of the water in the distance. Before he could say a word, his consciousness faded.

'Oh, where is this? How did we get here? What happened to us?' Mr. Jun mused as he turned to look at the sandy beach littered with glass bottles. His hand clutched his temple, which began to throb with pain.

'This is a strange bottle island. I brought you here myself. I saw you floating in the middle of the sea. I passed by on a jet ski. I rang the bell many times to ask for directions, but you did not give way. It's a good thing you didn't hit too hard, otherwise you would have been fish food in the middle of the sea,' said the yogi clad in a tiger's skin. Mr. Jun looked around the beach where there were people with strange complexions walking around.

'Young man, you are not fully recovered yet. Please stay here for treatment. Slowly depart with the merchants.' Mr. Jun accepted the blessing. The yogi then took his chubby disciple with bloodshot eyes and fangs protruding from his mouth to find a place to stay. Mr. Jun then asked the child with fangs, 'Who are you and why are you here?' The child replied:

'Originally, I or the name of the loan It is the fleshy shoot of the king's son. who ran away following his mistress, slowly taking a shortcut So I was separated from my mother when I was young. My mother is a giant named Suit Ghost. She is a fairy who is greater than anyone else. Lost in the sound of my father's voice, causing me to become intoxicated. So I stole it and made my husband lose it myself.'

Said the little boy named Lohan. Mr. Jun understood and sympathized after hearing the story of the loan boy. His tears fell as he handed the loaner a crumpled piece of paper. The little boy received it gratefully. with a warning that 'If you can leave this island Go to the address on this piece of paper. They will help you.'

Loan nodded firmly. He slowly unfolded the paper and read 'Dental Braces Clinic'. The little boy immediately burst into tears. His life finally found light. The loan then takes the benefactor to a place to stay.

It took several days and then the ship was finished. Mr. Junhanrihankwang Now, the strange Bottle Island, which is full of large trees, has been cut bare in order to get wood for building ships. Loan takes Mr. Jun to pay farewell to Yogi. The yogi gave advice (complaint) and then they boarded the boat. On the boat, Mr. Jun did not have a reserved seat, so he was banished to sit on the deck.

He met a very romantic couple named Jack and Rose stood on the prow of the boat with their arms stretched out in the sea breeze. Not far away, a handsome man, Khan's father, sits playing a cane, adding to the romantic atmosphere. Loan once said that 'My father's cane is wonderful. Whenever you sound, everyone passing by must give a coin.'

Mr. Jun went to sit next to Father Khannhan and asked the popular question 'Phra Aphai, which water do you think is the best?' Phra Aphai put down his can and proudly answered, 'The water from the little well is the best because it can resist the power of the sound of my can.' Not yet. Whoever asked and who answered any more than this, the junk collided with a floating house in the middle of the sea. The owner of the house had declared independence since when it was impossible to know.

A loud rumble reverberated throughout the ship. A large brig broke in two. Mr. Jun was startled and shouted for people to jump off the boat, but Jack and Rose stood still. With good hope, Jun walked closer to tell. Jack and Rose then said 'Help, my arms are cramping.' But in time, the boat sank almost completely into the sea.

Mr. Jun was hit by a wave and fell off the boat and floated aimlessly. until reaching an island

The island was deserted. There was no living thing except for the leaves and grass from the exhaustion of traveling in search of the precious water for 7 years, 6 months, 5 days, 4 hours, 3 minutes, 2 seconds. Thirst and hunger attacked him, so Mr. Jun took out sea water and poured it on him. He did not know when the plate [2] had floated onto the island. He slowly lifted the plate to his parched lips and drank it in several gulps. The saltiness of the sea water made him feel even more hungry and thirsty. He then remembered that... when he was a young man

He had performed a good deed by helping the Turtle family escape from a fire. Mr. Jun thought of the turtle and asked the turtle to help him. Suddenly, the surface of the water rippled with the appearance of a huge turtle. He gave Mr. Jun a ride on his back and took him to the shore. Mr. Jun was grateful that even though this giant turtle had never helped him, he still had kindness towards some turtle families.

As he neared Jun's shore, he saw a familiar shadow from the Turtle family waiting to welcome Mr. Jun on the shore.

'You guys are very lacking in kindness. Knowing that I was stranded on an island, I never thought of going to waste my energy and risking my life to rescue you guys from the fire.' As soon as his feet touched the ground, Mr. Jun immediately scolded him.

'We are freshwater turtles. Where would you like me to appear in the middle of the sea? Isn't that a matter of merit? Stop asking for it because the fire that caused us all the trouble was yours, right? You set yourself on fire, right?' Tao shook his head and walked away, leaving Mr. Jun alone.

Mr. Jun walked back to Nonjoko's house, which has now become a big city, unable to find him. He sat down and scooped up water from the mine ditch to eat, like he used to do when he was a child. It tasted a bit strange, but it was better than the salty water that filled the sea, but he couldn't drink it. Because of his thirst, he scooped it in. Mouth after mouth, he felt so dizzy that he vomited. His eyes widened and he struggled and finally died.

The Tao family walked up to Mr. Jun's corpse and felt sorry for him. They saw Mr. Jun sitting and drinking water, so they hurried to warn them, hoping that this was toxic water left over from his poisoning of rats many years ago. But alas, they Walking too slowly, Mr. Jun has already passed away. Leaving only a legend Mr. Jun and the precious water are for the author to tell the story to the readers.

The story has ended. Is the reader sleepy yet? Or are you still laughing until your jaw drops? Many of you who have read this may say, what kind of crazy story is this? What kind of crazy person would walk around the world just looking for the best water? Even though ordinary water at Mr. Jun's house was good enough to keep him alive. If Mr. Jun's actions in searching for water were crazy, I believe there are still many crazy people who ask for the best but forget to ask for what is right for them.

[1] Varee Music composed by Naowarat Phongpaiboon.

[2] Waktalay written by Angkarn Kalayanapong