~~ My Letter

Faded gray memories With two men~~

first man

I am just an ordinary looking woman who is ugly. Shy, says little, naive, naive, has no self-confidence. It can be said that there is hardly anything that stands out at all when compared to other women. For me He wasn't the first man I secretly loved, but he was the first man I loved the most in my life. And I feel the most guilty in my life as well.

The story is that I was secretly in love with a man while I was studying English at a private school.

AUA

Chiang Mai The truth is, I'm not a wealthy person. I just got a scholarship to study for free (and it wasn't that I was good at studying so I got the scholarship). But I'm really interested in learning. At that time, the teachers were not yet full of people, so I gave him the opportunity to study.) At that time, I was in Mathayom 4. I had secretly loved him for 3 years. I used to send both love letters. Candy and key chains I've done it all before. But it was not successful.

I sent a friend request on Facebook as well, but he didn't accept it. I secretly cried as well during that time. Next, send a message to attack.

Messenger

and

Line

Hee, I read this but didn't answer. What is it?! Actually, when we first met... I don't know what my type of guy is. All I knew was that he was handsome, cute, tall, white, smart, and likely to be very popular among girls. When I realized it again, my eyes stopped on him. When we studied English together, I would feel like I was inferior in some way, in terms of intelligence, courage, and ability to express myself.

And his status looked a bit sad, haha, like he didn't want to go to school every day. I don't want to see him, but when he doesn't come to class on days I feel like I'm missing him, I'm anxious, like something is missing. He tends to miss class a lot. He's smart, not like us.

And because I had to go home to help my parents with gardening work during the school break, I had the opportunity to take only one extra course in this life ~~ It made me realize the value of "time". First, why during the time we... Having the opportunity to sit close to each other, I didn't try to invite him to talk. But at that time I really couldn't speak. I was both embarrassed and embarrassed and couldn't do anything.

Why didn't you secretly take a photo of him? If I know that we will never meet again, I'm secretly a psychopath. Anyway, at that time there was no phone anyway. End of news!!

I remember that time well. I really want to forget him. I'm angry, I hate, I feel hurt. I don't understand that if a man doesn't like any woman. Why don't you tell me directly? It's stuck in my mind after reading it and not answering?? I kicked him in the throat. Please take it easy.

There was a lot of crying and sorrow. I don't want to do anything, I just want to eat, sleep, and breathe!! Throw away your English textbooks, throw away the watch you wear to study, and it's all broken. The more I see it, the more I think about those times, both happy and sad at the same time. But I couldn't help but look.

Facebook

and

Line

He doesn't live well. I just want to know. How is he? Will you be fine? Do you have a boyfriend yet?

He has a girlfriend and uploads pictures of them together from events.

Status

Hee's girlfriend is very beautiful (Kor Kai 100 is still too few, let me tell you.) If compared to me, it's like They're on different levels and seem very suitable for each other. A true story that must be accepted. Many people may wonder. How can I have his line? I'm not sure about this one. I think my male friend who knows him secretly gave me his number.

Even if I have a number, I probably won't call. I'm afraid.

The matter came to be like this. From that day until today, it's been 5 years, we haven't seen each other again. Or even if we actually meet each other Probably won't remember his face. And he probably wouldn't dare say hello. I'm the type with a short memory. I often greet the wrong people. I often get lost. I change money in the wrong way often. I'm often blurred. Wait a minute. In summary, what's good about my life?ㄱㄱ

And what I encountered second man How did you get it?? The story is that

At that time, I was in my second year of study. The good feelings I had for the first man were still the same even though we hadn't met face to face. and never talked to each other I still feel love for him, anger and hate, wanting to forget, missing him, all mixed together. So crazy during that time What's even more crazy, I think. He never leaves me. Still beside me, taking care of me from afar.

I feel so warm in my heart that I can't tell you. It's haunting. I don't know why. You're not a psychopath, are you? I don't know either!! Woman, when you love someone I tend to side with myself. Are you thinking about it alone or not!?

In the end, I decided to forget him by signing up on a dating website.

Asiadating,Badoo, SKOUT

If I'm not mistaken, it's probably something like this. At first I just applied. I saw a lot of foreigners playing. At least I have friends to talk to and practice English. I don't feel lonely and it makes me forget the first person. It's like escaping from a tiger and a crocodile. Until I met the second guy on the website.

Asiadating

We talked like friends. In my eyes, he was handsome and cool. It turned out that I was only interested in him. Send him messages often, inviting to talk, until one day he proposes.

Line

mine since that day We kept in touch via Line and I deleted all dating websites/apps. There's only one person.

I don't know what 'true love' is like?!!

I just know that I have to forget the first guy and never fall in love with him again. It's the feeling that we need someone's love. Longing for love, willing to do anything to get it. No matter how many mistakes you make We dated for a while. I knew then that the second man didn't really love me. I think one day He might be able to think of it. And have a little heart for me, I need his love

I don't know if it's love or infatuation! But it's the only reason that makes me think that no matter how much pain, crying, and sadness, I still love him. And we've been together for 1 year and 6 months on Valentine's Day. There were no sweet words that he would send via chat/speak to be heard.

That day, I waited for his chat all day. my birthday I didn't receive any message from him.

HappyBirthday To You

The words I wanted to hear from him the most. But on that day, it probably didn't exist. We had only met twice. It was me who had to be the one to find him. He never came to me.

The first time after we met The last day to return to the country. He asked me if my father could drink alcohol? How many siblings do I have? And does my family smoke? I want to meet your family, that's all. I hugged him very tightly. I was very happy. That day was mixed with happiness and sadness.

Because we have to be far away from each other and don't know when we'll see each other again. While at the airport While waiting for check-in time, he lay his head on my lap. He's not a very handsome guy, but he's cute. He also checked my phone without permission when it was time to check in. As we walked to stand in line

Tears streamed down my cheeks. I couldn't hold back and hugged him tightly. I said one sentence:

I don’t wanna leave you.

Just like that, we hugged each other tightly. This time he didn't come to my family like he had said before.

The second time I invited him, he said he would come to see me in October. I was very happy and excited, bought clothes and shoes, counted the days and hours of waiting, but in the end I didn't bother with work. I cried that day. I'm very sad, but I think he must be really busy. I still don't remember the pain.

The third time, I invited him again. A part of me was afraid that Does he not want to come to Thailand? So this time I invited him to travel to Vietnam (Hoi An) together. He said that I wanted to come visit your country. At that time, I cried tears of joy. I went to bed crying with happiness that night. Then fell asleep

In conclusion, we agreed that we would go to Pattaya together for a month already. I bought a swimsuit, a short dress, a strapless top, a nightgown, a turtleneck, jeans, shorts, shoes, an automatic hair curler. I was happy and excited. I thought I would do everything to make it the best I could, wanting to capture the good times. Keep those things in your memory as the day - time starts to get closer and closer. The dream was shattered as usual. He just said he was too busy and couldn't come.

There is no reason to explain. Almost every time there isn't even an apology or consolation.

'Maybe just because I'm blind to many things that I shouldn't know, we'll still love each other.

and can stay together as before, but think wrongly'

These things must be exchanged with tears. and pain

And the hardest part is that I don't know every day. Where can you find happiness? I don't know why I was born. I don't want to live anymore.

When my happiness depends on him alone. Without him, I can't live.

- Love is like a double-edged sword. If you don't love, it will come back to hurt you.

Let's support everyone who is heartbroken during this time. Even though we are still getting through it, you must be able to get through it!! Is it true??

Thank you to everyone who was patient and read until the end.

Thank you for the experience that has made me stronger.

Thank you for making me love myself even more.

Happiness revolves around us.

And one day it will pass.

 Have a good day na ka ^ ^

#Based on a true story #My love

Ps.

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