If love is like a crayon Which color will we pick up and draw?

CRAYON: White

Bitter Honey 

Cage of lust

That night, the sky was very bright. From the stars that sparkle The cold night wind blew through, injecting coolness throughout my body. Mixed with the sweet sound of the trees swaying in the wind. and the familiar smell of wet soil Invite your mind to calm down like never before.

In the spring of the fifth year since birth

“Do it for Mom. You know that Mother has no one left.”

A sweet voice spoke with tears streaming down her face.

"My dear... Renichi, my dear child."

So sweet... so sweet that it makes me nauseous.

If love is like a crayon Which color will we pick up and draw?

CRAYON: White

Bitter Honey 

Cage of lust

That night, the sky was very bright. From the stars that sparkle The cold night wind blew through, injecting coolness throughout my body. Mixed with the sweet sound of the trees swaying in the wind. and the familiar smell of wet soil Invite your mind to calm down like never before.

In the spring of the fifth year since birth

“Do it for Mom. You know that Mother has no one left.”

A sweet voice spoke with tears streaming down her face.

"My dear... Renichi, my dear child."

So sweet... so sweet that it makes me nauseous.

The sound of a pair of feet walking along the wide terrace. The ends of the indigo kimono traced across the fine wood floor. Multi-colored obi tied tightly, tightening the knot on the side of the abdomen. His long, dark hair trailed down his back and moved slightly in the wind as he moved. Or maybe swaying along with the cool breeze that blows past.

The late afternoon sun is shining warmly. Woven on the ground, mixed with green grass Reflected into the water like a shimmering mirror. and helps add color to flowers that are blooming In the middle of spring of the year

The beautiful spring of the seventeenth year

However, this is not the time to stop and admire nature. Those feet continued walking towards their destination. before stopping in front of a large door Then he sank down and bowed.

“Sir, I apologize for being late.”

The door slowly slid open. The person who was still sitting with his head bowed raised his head.

A white, smooth face lifted up to face the picture in the room. Sharp eyes sparkling just a little, inviting to look. Even with just light makeup But just the slightest hint of a smile on those lips was full of charm. Make your face look sharper and more beautiful. Especially when surrounded by dark hair decorated with colorful flower barrettes, just like her.

“Come in, Ren.”

The deep voice of the man behind the curtain ordered the tall, slender figure to lift himself up from the ground and walk over.

The door slid shut, leaving only light from the window that let in the breeze in the room. If it were enough to see what was behind the partitions deep in the room.

A boy over ten years old was kneeling in the middle of the room. His dark hair was messy and frizzy, as if it had been through a heavy windstorm. The pale kimono he wore was soaked with sweat. mixed with fresh wounds that still had the color of blood And those two trembling little hands were tied tightly with rope until they were horribly red and scratched. The situation he saw was so humiliating that he had to frown and look at it.

“New product, but it's so powerful that it's annoying.”

Sharp eyes turned to look at the speaker who could only see a shadow behind the partition. before moving towards the two men standing behind him not far from the child. ...A fierce face and two hands stained with blood.

"....So what does it have to do with me?" He said getting to the point as he had been called. As he looked away from his small trembling body to the person who had to answer his question. before hearing soft laughter return.

“Do you still need me to tell you?”

The audience stood still, their eyes seeming to sparkle with dissatisfaction. Then he turned to look at that small figure again. The body trembled and was dirty and shabby. When I saw it, it didn't make me think about where it would be useful. But at this time, he couldn't do anything else except sigh and call his confidant who was waiting outside to come in.

“Practice well. As expected of you being my number one Oiran, Ren.”

A final command that must be accepted even if you don't really want to do it.

The house door slides open. Four pairs of feet walked into the room. Then the small, frail body was pushed down onto the mat.

Ren raised his head slightly. His eyes scanned the ragged body as he thought about where he should start.

"....What's your name?"

The question came back without an answer. Ren waved his hand, ordering his confidant to take action.

Rough hands tugged at my hair, forcing me to look up. Even though the whole face couldn't be clearly seen because of the messy, dirty hair. But I could see his lips pressed together in pain. His face was distorted and his eyes were closed and tears were brimming with his eyelashes.

“Answer now.”

“Huh!” A small voice cried out. He gritted his teeth as if he didn't want to say a word. But the pain from the torture before and now made me move to speak.

“Huh... Haruki..”

Ren raised his hand to tell him to stop. His two legs slowly walked towards him and he sat down close to him. A slender hand reached out to brush away the messy hair that was in his face. The child's face was clearly revealed.

His lips curled into a pleased smile when he saw the admirable sight.

Even with tears streaming down my face or dirty stains But it's still enough to show the white, smooth skin of a healthy person. Moreover, when those big round eyes opened and looked With a spark of fear mixed with revenge clearly shining in his heart, it made his heart tremble with turbulent emotions. A child with a sweet face suitable for his age and as fragile as glass that would shatter in his hand just by holding it. So charming It's so pure that it makes you want to defile it.

That must have been the reason he was chosen to take care of this child.

....But just the outside appearance is not enough.

“Turn your back to me,” ordered the two men to grab the thin body and turn it around. The small head is pressed against the mat. His hips were forced to kneel more steeply. The hem of the kimono was then swept open to clearly show the proportions. Just that, his big eyes widened in panic.

“Do.. do something! no!"

He tried to escape with all his might as the person behind him reached out and picked up a smooth wooden hairpin that was on the table not far away. Round eyes that were filled with tears, he stared in fear for his life. Especially when seeing that sweet, cold smile.

"no!! Ah...!!”

The tip of the wooden hairpin runs down the slope. before inserting slowly How deep the smooth wood had moved was unknown. Because at this time all you can do is close your eyes tightly. Grinding his teeth with pain and anger in his heart.

Clear tears flowed endlessly. While beginning to feel the movement of the thing inserted into the body And the straight end emphasizes the point where a strange feeling gradually begins to form.

“Ah.. don't...!”

His sharp eyes flickered with pleasure when he saw that the frail body in front of him was struggling to resist. The hand holding the wooden hairpin felt the tightness of his muscles. It's like resisting and inviting at the same time. Until he had to accidentally run the tip of his tongue along his lips in satisfaction. Then put pressure on the tip of the hairpin to move it deeper, accelerating the moans from the full red lips.

Until finally, not long ago... His exhausted moans were loud and the lustful juices were gushing out from his core.

Ren pulled out the wooden pin in one go.

“Very good, it's no wonder my lord was able to exert so much energy,” he said while looking at the figure who was exhausted and trembling. The sweet face that was only seen was red and admirable. "...Just need to take a shower and scrub your skin a bit so that it will be beautiful enough."

The two servants listened and knew their duties very well. Get up and prepare what you need. Only one person was left standing up and a little child was sobbing.

"......end"

The soft sound was barely audible as the door slid shut. But those with good ears are still sensitive enough to catch and listen. Those sharp eyes turned to look.

“Huh... the worst....”

Ren stared blankly, his body slowly pushing himself up. A face that was bathed in tears lifted up. His eyes shone brightly with hatred. Even the expression on his face was clear.

“People like you are the worst! I never have a day.. I will never sell myself like you!”

Phew!!

Was all he could say, his face turned as his slender hand hit with full force. The small figure dropped to the mat again. His eyes widened with shock and fear in his heart.

“Etiquette itself seems to need to be trained well. You will know what you should and shouldn't do."

Even though I couldn't see the expression, I could tell what it was like. From the voice that spoke coldly

“For your own sake, remember this. That you should leave all your past stories behind. From today... You are the courtesan who serves men. It is Kamuro of Yoshiwara. This house is your home and mine...”

Those eyes shone brightly as they stared at the trembling child without stopping.

“He is the one who is the master of life.”

Lights shine along the path and the guest houses in every direction. The sound of music mixed with the sounds of chatter and laughter. The aroma of intoxicants was almost the same as perfume and blooming wildflowers. In the never dark night of Yoshiwara area

This is the spring of the eighteenth year.

Amber-colored sake flows from the bottle into a beautifully patterned porcelain cup. Its aroma is sweet to anyone who has ever tasted it. If you're still not quite familiar with the thin body that slowly pours out

“Hahaha, look at that face. Really honest and cute.”

The voice laughed happily at the behavior of the little boy sitting not far away.

A delicate body in a sweet-colored kimono and an eye-catching obi, with a calm expression. Even though the big eyes sparkled with just the slightest hint of dissatisfaction. But it's still enough to make your sweet face look admirable.

"Don't be so teasing, Lord Hirotada. He's still quite young."

Those words of laughter drew the eyes of the owner of the name to look at him. along with people who are still children

The landscapes of the Yoshiwara area are still as beautiful and dignified as they are. Sharp eyes are both mysterious and always mesmerizing. Maybe it was because of the little smile that was drawn with full, sweet pink lips. that makes the face sharp and look even better The dark hair was also decorated with colorful flower barrettes that matched the beautiful pattern of the kimono. which contrasts perfectly with the soft white skin.

Her beauty was not comparable to that of a courtesan. If that is more than a man can have.

"It's because children want to tease you, Ren."

Elderly man laughing before lifting the sake to drink “Or are you jealous of me?”

A possessive person makes a slight expression on his face, looking cute. “Can I not be jealous? Or would you rather Haruki serve you than me?”

The person being mentioned was slightly startled, but no one saw him. When the person listening to the complaint is still paying attention to the speaker sitting next to them. Strong, rough hands wrapped around her waist and caressed her slender hips. Meanwhile he laughed loudly.

“This guy is very disingenuous. I have come to like it.”

The devious person just raised his hand to cover his mouth and his eyes sparkled.

...If Haruki turns even more sullen. Even if no one notices.

that he had to sit here Endure listening to the rumbling sound. Endure looking at pictures of teasing and snuggling. It was because it was an order from the master in charge of the courthouse that he had reached the age to seriously train to treat visitors. And the person in charge of teaching and training him was Ren.

His eyes widened and looked at the person he thought of in his heart. But he barely managed to dodge it when they collided with him.

Ren smiled slightly when he saw his cute and goofy expression. The person sitting next to him noticed and turned to look at the small figure.

Haruki's face was glowing red. Even though he tried to escape with all his life. And when he realized that he was being stared at, his big eyes shone intensely. That attitude was so adorable that I wanted to... Try tasting it once.

"You're old enough to make mizuage, right?"

The question from Hirotada's mouth caused Ren's eyes to turn around. Those slender eyes were staring at Haruki very cunningly. Especially when the young man picked up his sake and drank it and smiled mysteriously.

"...still need to practice a lot."

“So how do you train?”

“I teach as much as I can, sir. But Haruki is too young for some things.”

The audience listened with wide smiles. Then the words fell out of my mouth just as my heart was thinking. “Then would you like me to help teach you? Being young like this is interesting. Looking at it, it's like a cat learning to growl and grow its fur.”

Haruki turned to look at Hirotada. His large eyes widened in alarm when he saw the thirst that could not be concealed. Little by little, fear began to take hold in my heart. Especially when the strong hand puts down the sake cup and reaches out as if to hold his hand.

Move your body and move away. But I didn't get to do it in time. Suddenly, someone's slender hand grabbed that terrifying hand and stopped it.

Hirotada turned to look at the owner of the slender hand who had stopped his actions.

“Lord Hirotada You don't want to pay me a favor, do you?”

Those words brought him back to consciousness. Or maybe it was because of the power of sharp eyes that stared with a seductive sparkle. Hirotada turned his attention to this slender figure again.

“Are you bored with me now that you're only interested in Haruki? Or because I'm already old?"

“Where did you go, Ren?” he said while laughing. “Still as beautiful as the first time I saw it.”

“Then just look at me, sir. I'm so lonely because I haven't been able to see you. I thought you were bored with this body.”

Move in, pressing your body closer to the taller one. The tips of his fingers caressed the broad, strong chest. His soft face was tightly pressed together. Slowly ran his nose along his neck. Let the sweet scent of your body float up to your nose. Urging you to want to bend down and sniff and snuggle like usual.

“Can I get bored with you?”

“But if you are bored I guarantee that today..." He whispered in a rumbling voice. “...You will definitely taste something you have never tasted before.”

A sweet smile adorns a beautiful, eloquent face. Those eyes were extremely mesmerizing. And when the lips move up and down, just gently touching the tip of the chin before the moist tip of his tongue licked along the ridge of the picture My consciousness was scattered by the aroma that invited me to take possession.

The young man threw his body in his arms onto the ground. Strong hands wasted no time in untying the tightly bound obi. Instead, he flicked the hem of the kimono up just a little and inserted his hand to caress it with lust. Then he violently crushed those soft lips. Calling out a wet sound as they pressed against each other.

Haruki sat still and stared at the two bodies that were intertwined. The beautiful kimono of the person below began to fray. The hair that was once styled was now spread out on the fine mat.

before his slender hand slowly lifted up Then waved his hand as if to chase him out of the room.

The little boy regained consciousness and immediately got up and ran outside.

The door slid shut with a loud noise and his heart suddenly became heavy. A small hand lifted to cover his gasping lips. Big eyes filled with tears and fear. And while standing alone amidst the music and laughter from the room next to him,

It was still enough to hear a faint moaning sound. mixed with the sound of panting and shaking that could be heard

Grind your teeth until your entire jaw is tight. The light-colored eyes began to change from fear to hatred. Then the two legs rushed away. Run away from what you don't want to hear.

...people like you How disgusting And it's very pitiful...

The music had quietened down by the time the courthouse closed. Still, it was a time when it was almost a new day. Although there was only a few hours of rest before the sky cleared. However, it was enough to finish everything and get ready for bed.

Ren sat humming a tune in front of the round mirror. His eyes scanned his face, which had removed makeup but still looked just as good. Behind him was Haruki who was slowly fading. He carefully combed his hair.

The complete silence was no different from every day we spent together. And in that silence, you could still feel the irritation hidden in his eyes. Which is known because they have been together for a full year.

“Is there something you want to say to me, Haruki?”

The little boy froze before frowning.

“No, Lord Ren.” His voice was full of sarcasm. Older people smiled widely.

“Are you angry that I stole your customers?”

His teasing words and expression caused anger to bubble up in his heart.

"If you want to steal it, just take it. I don't want it.."

“Oh, I know. You're afraid,” he said, cutting himself off so that he could only leave his mouth open like that. And when he was about to speak again, he still wasn't able to respond to the quick-talking person. “Is it bad manners? I don't know how to use manners. Hairstyle never makes it look good. I never remember anything I teach. It's no wonder you're afraid... that he himself could not serve himself easily.”

He was accused of being so angry that he forgot his original purpose. Maybe it was those eyes and the mocking smile that made him completely lose consciousness. Especially the sentence that follows.

“I'll probably just be an infant for the rest of my life.”

That laugh was like a sword that cut through the nerves of consciousness.

“I'm not a child, I can do it! Even though I'm not good at hairdressing, when it comes to service, I'm definitely better than you!”

“Oh, so?” He let out a high-pitched voice and the child's mood of being slightly influenced followed. His fluffy hair seemed to become even more fluffy. Like a cat that is ruffling its fur. And then he laughed softly. It was like hearing a snarling sound coming from the small mouth. Which, of course, is your own imagination. But they fit together so cutely.

“I can do it! Don't laugh!”

“Today I saw you sitting and trembling. You little child.”

Anger began to explode like water boiling in a pot. Big, round eyes stared in displeasure. When he was accused of being an infant twice.

The small hand dropped the comb and pulled the long, flowing hair with full force, forcing the taller figure to turn towards him.

"Oh, it's you--!"

Before he could open his mouth to leave, he was suddenly straddled on his lap. Your sweet face is just a little closer. Those eyes sparkled earnestly.

“I don't know what I'm thinking of doing.”

"provoking!"

The short answer makes your eyes widen and you will be stunned for a moment... provoking? Thinking about it, I can only laugh at the stubbornness of a child who doesn't know how to grow up. But he agreed to follow the water by waving his hand saying as he wished.

The small figure sitting on his lap began to move closer, pressing his hips along the tall figure's upper legs. The face leans closer. Even though those eyes sparkled with a fervor that was ridiculous, it was no less adorable. Because some sweet lips trembled with boldness and fear. And when his small hand lifted up and caressed the placket of his shirt to the broad shoulders

Attaching body heat to the skin of an experienced person Ready to coordinate eyes with sharp, slender eyes.... The little heart suddenly became more shaken than usual.

Seizing the opportunity for the people waiting for teasing to spread their smiles, they turned and straddled themselves. Push your body down onto the mat to replace the attacker.

His big eyes widened in alarm.

“Is this your temptation?”

“I.... I....” He stammered, his face turning red. My heart is pounding hard. His body suddenly tensed up as the young man lowered his head and traced the tip of his nose along his neck. As the slender hand touched down on her knee and trailed up her thigh.

"...No..... No.."

He closed his eyes and hid his face away while his hands tried to push his broad chest away. But the warm breath that hit the skin of his neck caused his entire body to tremble. And when that strong hand grabbed the sensitive part that was starting to wake up Every thought disappeared from his head.

“I guess I'll have to start teaching you again. What must be done to provoke?”

A deep voice whispered softly near his ear. If it reverberates throughout my heart

“Kiss me, Haruki.”

You can only consent. Put your hands on your broad shoulders and tilt your face. Opening his lips, he gave a kiss to the person who was offending him.

...How despicable. and don't want to be near But why can't I resist even just once...

The morning began with clear weather. The sun was warm enough to blend with the cool breeze that brought comfort. along with the sweet scent of colorful flowers that were in full bloom all around the house and mixed with the sound of little birds chirping. However, Haruki didn't feel good at all.

Well, last night.... He allowed that guy to be the aggressor again.

Thinking about it, I was only annoyed in my heart. while his hand violently rubbed the cloth

"Brother Haruki, what are you upset about this morning?"

A loud voice called out and the owner appeared next to him. Haruki looked away and turned his attention to the laundry he was washing. Which belongs to none other than that guy!

“No, Futa.” The smaller, younger figure tilted his head in curiosity, causing some of him to smile. “Nothing really. I was just hot so I just closed my eyes.”

Choose the answer that comes to mind at that moment and continue with the laundry. people sitting next to He also came to help.

Futa is a Kamuro like him. He was a few years younger and was under the care of the third-ranked Oiran here, Hayate.

"Yesterday, Brother Haruki went to practice serving with Tayuu," he said, not knowing that the owner of the name was startled when he heard the name of the person being mentioned. “So how is it?”

“Why do you ask, Futa?” ...I don't even want to think about it...

“Eh~ Well, I want to know this. Soon I will have to start training for real service. But Hayate-sama hasn't said when to start.”

Haruki let out a deep sigh. “It's a good thing Hayate-sama didn't call you to practice receiving guests. I really want to know what you-- Tayuu is thinking.” Completely annoyed by the image of the cultivator's face that appeared in his mind, Fuuta turned to look.

“What happened last night? I saw other people say that you came out of the room early.”

“...Customers want me to serve them. But Tayu snatched it away first.”

“Take it or take it?”

“That's it, Futa. What will you think about? When the customer wanted me, he sent me out.”

Futa sat thinking, his eyebrows furrowed. Leaving Haruki to sit and wrestle with the laundry as if he saw him as his sworn enemy.

"I think..... Tayu might be protecting Haruki-sama."

Those words caused the hand to stop. His sweet face slowly turned to look at Futa, giving him a small smile with his innocent eyes.

“Well, I heard that my lord wants Haruki-sama to enter the Mizuage Ceremony. But Thayu asked that it was not yet time. And Lord Hayate himself has also said that Tayuu is very fond of Haruki. Until it was as if he wanted to keep it to himself.”

Haruki sat still. “...What are you talking about, Futa? Such lies.”

“I'm not lying, sir. Well, Lord Hayate and Lord Isamu used to talk like this. I remember it well,” he said in a bright, cheerful voice with honesty. “One more thing, I say. Tayu is very kind and warm. Brother Haruki is lucky to be in your care.”

Words that had never been heard before slowly faded. Slowly absorbed into the heart Even though I really want to think that this isn't true. But with honesty conveyed through the eyes of the speaker Instead, it brings back the images from last night's events... Every time something like this happens…. Ren.... will be the one holding the terrifying hand. He's the one who stops.

Don't let anyone touch him....

Is it someone who protects him?

His heart suddenly trembled with a strange feeling that he had never experienced before.

Ren protects him... always

“Um, but Hayate-sama once said, Tayu is a person who does not agree with his heart. If there's something going on, I like to keep it to myself. If you don't try being honest with yourself, There will probably never be a happy day.... Ah, Haruki-sama!”

I couldn't finish my sentence until the person sitting next to me spoke. and suddenly got up Big eyes widened and looked at the older man in shock.

“Uh, I... I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be right back.” After saying that, he rushed out quickly. Leaving the little child to just sit and blink. As I thought about it, what was the pain that caused me to hurry like that?

Haruki ran down the path to the main house. which was the house of the master who looked after and ruled the house of courtesans Even though he, who was only a trainee, couldn't enter that house, today, he had to go in... because....

There was someone he wanted to meet there.

His large eyes scanned carefully as he hid in the corner of a house. Some figures managed to sneak into the main house safely. But finding the person he wants is not easy at all. When all around there were only unknown houses lined up. Moreover, the fierce-faced guards passing by were frightening. If he gets caught He would definitely be beaten severely.

And what the hell was he thinking that caused him to come here so recklessly?

Thinking about it, he suddenly became annoyed with himself. Because of not knowing how to control oneself well, one has to be in a dangerous situation like this. Just because I heard a story that I don't know how true it is.

Then while he was busy with himself, the voice of the guard sounded not far away, causing him to hurry and get up and scramble to find a way to escape. Some people decided to run towards the house ahead where they saw an empty road. But as soon as he was halfway through his run, his eyes widened as two other guards walked chattering towards him. The little boy turned left and right, looking for a way until finally he dove under the terrace of the house.

The sound of four pairs of feet walking past each other, greeting each other, then slowly disappearing...

Haruki breathed a sigh of relief. Even though I wanted to poke my head out, I didn't have the courage. Some bodies gradually Crawling along the dirt, he thought that he should return to his house.

...but this kind of stained shirt... Definitely got scolded again...

I looked down at my shirt, which was blackened in the dirt and groaned. before hearing a familiar sound not far away

“I refuse, sir.”

Those serious words immediately caused his face to become more solemn. Even though the speaker was dressed with the beauty that a number one Oiran should dress.

“Other things I can allow, but this is the only thing I must say firmly.”

“It is your master's orders,” a voice interrupted. But Ren raised his voice.

"Then you'll have to tell your master that I don't agree, Goro."

The owner of the name made a worried face. “My duty is to manage the matters of who the customers book. and take care of the neatness of the house But I have no right to reject your master's orders or accept your refusal. The needs of your customers cannot be resisted.”

“Regardless of anyone's wishes. I will never be able to accept it.”

“Then what else are you claiming, Ren? Because you're too young? Or because I haven't attended the ceremony yet? Don't forget that Master wanted Haruki to enter the ceremony a long time ago, but you were the one who asked to postpone it.” Another calm voice rang out. Sharp eyes flickered to look at the person who spoke with a hint of displeasure.

“Haruki is still really young. Or did you blindly see that it wasn't Isamu?"

A thin figure in a black kimono tied to an eye-popping red obi sat motionless on the ground. His hair was long and smooth over his thin hips, shiny and shiny black. Contrasting with the delicate white skin, it looks admirable like an antique doll. However, the beauty was hidden with fear as those eyebrows drew together in annoyance. Before his dark eyes flickered up to meet and his lips moved, he answered.

"I'll speak to you carefully, Ren. Don't provoke me into anger, okay?"

“Did I provoke you? Don't talk like it's my fault. You're annoyed because Akihiro-sama didn't come to see you last night, right?"

“There you are!!”

It was getting so overwhelming that a bigger, stronger person like Goro had to get up and stop the troops. “Wait! Wait, let's not argue. This is even more chaotic!” Two arms spread out, closing the distance between the two of them. But those two pairs of eyes continued to radiate and interact with each other without stopping. Let the other person sitting with you in the room become impatient and have to speak up.

“Sister Ren, what Brother Isamu wants to tell you is that you think.. How much more effective will claiming to be 'young' be?

The speaker still looked younger than the other three people in the room. His body was more fragile. The face was sweet and beautiful with youthfulness. Moreover, the charm of light colored eyes is mesmerizing. His raven black hair framed his fair white skin, cascading down to his waist. And full, sweet pink lips make you look good. Like a cloth doll in a beautifully patterned kimono.

“You are still young now, yes, I won't argue, but in the future you will have to grow up.” The audience stood still, not turning to meet their eyes. Even though the person who spoke was staring intently with seriousness. “And when that day comes, what will you do? If you continue like this, that child will suffer even more.”

Isamu let out a heavy sigh and turned his head away. “This is not a care home. The child's relatives sold him to pay off a debt to the master. His duty was to pay off his debt like everyone else here. Like me, like Hayate, like you.”

His figure was taller and slimmer than anyone else. His friend remained silent and didn't say anything. There was still a trace of worry and dissatisfaction in those eyes. So much so that another person standing in the middle of the room had to warn him when he knew that the story was going in an inappropriate direction.

“I know you're kind. But don't give more than that, Ren.”

A beautiful face turned to look. “...What exactly do you want to say, Goro?”

“You know what I mean. And if it happens, it is not you who will be punished. But the person who has to bear all the karma is that child... It's Haruki."

Three pairs of eyes of three people stared into one stare. It indicates a warning that everyone has the same opinion. and don't want it to happen

Something that Ren knows very well... And even though I know But I can't control my mind.

Finally, when you can't make excuses for that sight So he chose to answer while keeping his head high in a way that maintained his self-will. which, as the number one Oiran, is absolute.

“I know. I'll think about entering the Mizuage ceremony again. But tonight's special guest, I'll go instead of Haruki."

“Where can I do it-”

“Are you saying that over there you don't value a number one Oiran like me?”

Goro wanted to tell him how valuable Ren was. But disobeying the master's orders or continue to do as you please like this Holding back will only result in negative consequences.

“Don't think that just because you are a money maker, the master will be merciful.”

"I never asked for mercy."

After saying that, he turned around and walked out of the house. Leaving the three people in the room to sigh in frustration. And Goro was the first to speak in the awkward silence.

“Stubborn and unwavering. I didn't know that it was me who was scolded. Sigh, it's not over yet." Shaking his head, he shook his eyes with despondency. “You all go back and rest.”

The door of the house slid open again, allowing a large figure to walk out. And when the door slid closed The two people in the room turned to look at each other.

“....'Knew' then? I really want to know if that's true or not.”

“I want to protect you, but I don't know that I'm only causing him more trouble. Really pitiful.”

“Some things can't be said much, Brother Isamu. I, if I were to be in this situation Whether I can choose to do something that requires me to sacrifice as much as him or not, I still don't know.”

“That guy, even though he's already paid off all his debts. You can redeem yourself and be free. But still chose to stay here. At first I thought it was because I had nowhere to go. But probably not.”

“Yes, I thought the same. that the money that was there... For someone.”

A conversation between just two people But it reaches the heart of someone who is hiding outside the house. Under the cool, damp porch from the shade little child with his head down Biting your lip to hold back a sob. and let the tears fall to the ground

Night came again and the sounds of people filling the corridors. The male courthouse is open to welcome customers continuously. However, today there was no body of the Number One Oiran.

Today's Ren is dressed in the most beautiful and expensive kimono. But even if it's just an inferior outfit with an ordinary cloth pattern, Elegance and beauty are still clearly displayed without anyone suppressing it.

At least in the eyes of Haruki who could only watch from inside the house.

Watching people who become important in your heart, you can't know when. Walking away with followers

Last night, Haruki wasn't called to the front of the house to receive guests. Some people were in the kitchen preparing food and sake. Although it is nice not to have to do such a disgusting job. But my heart was not at all cheerful when I thought of those far away. It was in a place he didn't know where it was.

The work ended and he sat back alone in the room. The room now seemed very spacious, even though he had always complained that it was too narrow to share with someone. The little child sat with his knees hugged in the middle of the large bedsheet that had been used to sleep next to that person. His pale eyes stared at the door. Waiting for it to open wide and see the person he was worried about walk in.

...Please, open it up...

I don't know how much time has passed. He only knew that his eyes, which were about to close with exhaustion, saw a picture of a door opening wide open. Then my ears heard some noises.... The sound of someone smiling as usual

“Are you waiting for me, Haruki?”

Eyes wide open, clearly showing the scene ahead. The smile on the face of the person you are thinking of in your heart. Those sharp eyes that met directly

“...Lord Ren.”

The owner of the name smiled widely and accepted that word.... If something turns out to be different from before....

Beads of sweat were drenched on his face. His mouth opened and he let out a heavy, trembling gasp. His entire body seemed to tremble, as if his bones were about to be shattered. And that expression It was very pale like paper.

“Lord Ren? ..... Ah!” A startled voice came out as the tall figure leaned down on him.

“Lord Ren! Lord Ren!”

“Is your body dehydrated because you work too hard?”

The doctor's words were repeated again by Goro's. His eyes flickered to look at the sick man lying motionless on the bed and he shook his head in exhaustion.

“As you can see, Lord Goro. There's nothing really worrisome, but I don't want to be complacent. I gave her some medicinal herbs and after eating all of it, she recovered well.” The kind doctor smiled at the sick person as if encouraging him. He smiled back cheerfully. But Goro secretly sighed.

“Yes, doctor. I must thank you very much for coming so late at night…”

Saying this, he stood up and invited the older doctor to walk with him. Leaving the patient's room, the patient smiled happily.

How could he not smile when his master knew that Number One Oiran was sick? I was told to take a break from work for only three days.

Ren let out a laugh that was unbecoming of a sick person. And while he was laughing His eyes glanced over and saw some figures sitting not far from each other.

A little child sitting with his head down and giving off a depressing atmosphere. His eyes stared at that fluffy head for a long time. before smiling and smiling

“What is the matter, Haruki? Aren't you glad I'm sick?”

Teasing like you usually do, hoping to get an argument back. But there was only silence. This time, the tall, slender figure raised his eyebrows in bewilderment and slowly lifted himself up and sat on the bed.

“What do you want to say to me?”

The words asked as if he knew the idea well. This caused some of them to press their lips together little by little, both hands clenching tightly before slowly raising their heads. His clear eyes were filled with trembling and worry in his heart like never before. So much so that the person who made eye contact suddenly stopped as well.

“I…” The little boy lowered his eyes and raised his spoon again. “Why do you have to do this for me?”

Ren frowned at that statement.

“Why do you have to protect me like that? Even though we have nothing to do with each other and I have never behaved well with you.”

Some of the people's questions made the hearts of the listeners flutter. He just sat and stared at the pleading eyes that he had never received before. For a moment he thought with apprehension. that what he does not want to happen It's happening right now.

Why did Haruki know?

However, he didn't show any expression. Besides the calm face

“...What did you say?”

“I know, sir. that he would not allow me to enter the ceremony And then you announced that you would go in my place today. Why do we have to do that?”

“Nonsense, what are you talking about?” The audience still argued, even though they knew that the little boy already understood the answer he wanted. But he still didn't want it to happen. I still don't want everything to fall apart today.

"Lord Ren, please don't lie to me," he raised his voice impatiently. Those eyes were filled with pleading. “I am not talking nonsense. You know it's true.. Don't hide from me. Please, sir.”

...Underneath the expression of not being interested That he saw that he was only a child in his possession... In that action...

“Tell me the truth.”

...What feelings are hidden inside?

Ren turned his head away when he couldn't meet those eyes. The situation was becoming beyond his control any longer. For a full year he hid it all to himself. Keep your needs in mind. Because I don't want Haruki to suffer... But now....

...You're forcing me to do something terrible to you...

Contemplating, face tense with anguish in the heart Before deciding to speak out... Even if you don't want to.

“The truth... is that I hate you.”

His slender eyes flashed with coldness. While flicking my eyes

“I don't want you to accept customers. that I went in place of the one who was imprisoned I did everything because I didn't want you to outshine me, Tayu.”

He sat still and listened as if he couldn't believe his ears. Those words were like cold water splashing onto my face. Eyes that used to shine brightly when looking at you At this time, it was like the tip of a sword stabbing into my heart. Haruki choked back the feeling that rose in her throat. The corners of his eyes began to feel hot and incomprehensible.

“A child like you It doesn't fit here at all, Haruki.”

Just then, his two legs suddenly rose up and he ran out of the room. The sound of loud feet echoed along the path. It makes the hearts of those still sitting in the same place feel heavy as if they were in chains.

“Are you satisfied yet, Goro?”

said to the man he knew who had been standing outside for a long time. Painful eyes flickered to the shadow of the person who didn't even utter a word of identification. His gaze changed to one of hatred before he lay down on the cold cloth.

So cold and lonely

Goro let out a soft sigh.

...I hope one day you will know. That this is the right thing for both of you...

When I regained consciousness, it was already evening of the next day. The sky outside was getting darker and darker, but there was still enough light from the lanterns to light up the road. Ren slowly lifted himself up from the bed. I don't even know when I fell asleep. I only knew that he was thinking about something extremely painful and troubling.

Sharp eyes looked around. Of course, you probably won't see the person you want to meet around you.

The tall man sighed softly. Raising his hand, he brushed the hair that fell from his face and out of his eyes. Then I decided to get up and get dressed.

Today he doesn't actually have to work in front of the house. But I'll let you stay still. I didn't get used to it. At least go to the kitchen and do some things to get your body moving. Your brain won't think about anything else.

Ren walked towards the back kitchen, not too far from the guest house. Even though the body is still tired from the illness that has not improved much. But he still refused to walk straight ahead. Then when the kid in the kitchen saw him, he ran quickly and woke up to find him.

“Lord Ren!”

"It's okay, I can walk." He interrupted, knowing full well that he would have to be told something like this. However, the answer that I heard was very different..

“Eh, ah, you're sick... Oh, but Haruki! Haruki has been taken into custody!”

Different in a very bad way

The surrounding walls were covered with moss. On one side is a door with rusted bars but still durable in confinement. The floor of the room was soaked with water. In the middle of the room, there was a small, frail body of someone with their hands bound and pinned to the ceiling. His two feet barely touched the ground to help support himself. Its small head hangs down, causing the messy hair to fall around and cover it.

The regular kimono clung to the skin because it was wet and torn. The skin of his body was covered with red wounds from whips that slashed until blood flowed out. and dripped down and mixed with the water on the ground.

This is the punishment for those who want to escape from Yoshiwara.

The front door opened slowly. But it did not restore some of his consciousness in the slightest. Until the chains on his hands were released There was no strength to command the body to stand on its own. He could only throw himself into the embrace of someone nearby.

An embrace that is so warm

“You can't do this, sir!”

“I will talk to the master later.”

The words that were only faintly heard felt like they were very far away. Before consciousness fades away, leaving only darkness.

The softness that supports the body is very comfortable and warm. The light touch that was caressed along the arm was so gentle and made me feel good. Even though I felt uncomfortable in my chest and my whole body was hot from the fever. Still able to feel the support and care with love... Until it makes you think of an important person

But even if I want to open my eyes and look at the scene in front of me The eyelids became so heavy that they couldn't resist.

And finally... The body gradually Force it to open. Let the light shine through into the darkness. And in the middle of that light is a picture of someone's face

Someone who the more you see, the more you suffer.

Haruki quickly sat up. His small hand brushed aside the slender hand that was rubbing the wet cloth along his arm.

Sharp eyes turned to look at the cloth that had fallen from his hand. Before turning to look at some figures sitting panting and shaking with fever.

“...Are you awake? You were unconscious for two days. I thought I might never recover.” Sending teasing words as usual. Smiling widely like he always does.

Some people stared intently at the person in front of them. Both hands raised to hold his chest as if to stop the pain that spread in his heart. The more I saw that the tall, slender figure was smiling. Heard the words spoken and laughed brightly. It made me think back to what I had heard back then. Cold words that were like a sharp sword Deeply cut and hammered into one's heart That this person...

Seeing him as just a worthless toy.. Not serious I don't care.

And because of that...

“Why help me…”

said a soft, trembling voice The anguish in the heart is excruciating. Some closed their eyes. I don't want to meet those beautiful, sharp eyes. In those eyes He had seen it valued. But at this time, it was coated with a coldness that it never wanted. Those two hands He had felt the warmth when they touched each other. But at this time, it turned out to be very detestable.

So detestable.

...Tears flowed down her cheeks. His soft face was full of heartbreak.

It hurts in my chest. and still hurts from wounds all over the body It was as if the feeling of being slashed by a whip was still engraved. Cold like the ice of a leather whip The coldness of the splashing water affects The evening air is cold. Piercing deep into the wound

Their screams were just party music. His tears were just pitiful. The blood that was shed was just the color that graced the body. Torment that seems like it will never end. And the person who made it like this is this person.

People who cause suffering Suffering even though you don't want it.

“I.... hate you.....”

...Yes... I hate..... I have always hated you since the first day we met. I hate you for forcing me to live in this filthy world. I hate you for trading your body for something called money. I hate you for indulging in lust. I hate you... I really hate you....

I hate that you made me feel like this.... A feeling that I don't understand Never understand

“I don't want to be here.... Huh... I don't want to see your face again..."

The little heart is twisted and broken. Bitterness rose in my throat. The hot edges of his eyes still let warm tears flow. overflowing over the face Her lips trembled as she spoke the words that had been stuck inside for so long.

"...even though I....huh.. I don't want to be here.... Even though I... really want to run away....”

He sobbed and cried as if he would die in a split second.

“Even like that.... Huh~ Why are you helping me come back?!”

A small hand grabbed a nearby pillow. Use your strength to hurl it into the person in front of you.

“Why don't you just let me die!! Save me from this crazy world. Let's go here!! I don't want to live anymore. Don't you understand?!”

The tall figure sat still, not avoiding that pillow. Don't even hide from things. The little boy grabbed it and threw it to me...

“If you don't want me! If you hate me so much! And what are you trying to persuade me for?!”

...Because the tears streaming down his face cursed him to stop looking.

“Stop playing with me!!”

Shout loudly The little boy picked up a small wooden basin. Throw it at your side with all your strength. The wooden basin slammed into the young man's head. The water in the tub splashed down and wet his whole body. However, the person who was attacked still did not move. Even though blood was starting to trickle down from his head.

Big eyes filled with resentment as they looked at the face whose hair was wet and covered. But in the moment of careful observation I saw something in those sharp eyes that met...

...pain...

Some bodies lay down fully on the mattress. The two hands that had been held up suddenly let down due to gravity. Little by little, his sweet face relaxed from his anger. before it changed into panic in my heart And eyes that were mixed with clear water then returned to show the anguished cracks

...My eyes are blurry..... Do you see the pain in your eyes?

Questions popped up in my head and the answers appeared clearly in front of me.

“...I want to be with you, Haruki.”

A sweet, if bitter answer

The little boy raised himself to his knees. Two arms wrapped around him and he buried his face in his face. Let the tears overflow and flow. Then he let out a loud cry and sobbed.

Ren moved closer, slowly reaching out to hug the frail body. Tighten it close to your chest. before burying his face in soft, fluffy hair

“Huh.. lie.... you lied to me...”

“Yes, I lied to you.”

Lied all the time... Since the first day we met

Two small hands wrapped around the kimono of a person whose whole body was soaked. Loud sobs muffled against his wide chest.

“Lying that I don't want you… when I've always wanted you.”

A secret he thought he would hide forever. but had to reveal it in the end A need that he still doesn't understand. Just knowing that he couldn't leave this child out of his life. And when you realize that What he did was the opposite of what he had in mind.

No matter how much I want to say No matter how much I want to hold it and keep it Instead, he could only protect himself from afar. Taking care of him without being seen by anyone, acting close to him, satisfying his own overflowing needs. But it couldn't be enough. When the heart still desires more than the body

“I want you to be side by side.”

It's just that I can't say it out loud....

"therefore.. Please, don't run away from me.”

Torment in the heart of the tall body It's as if it's transmitted to the little heart. To feel the pain that has been suppressed for a long time

“...I... want to run away from here...” he said only softly with sobs. “But... I don't want to be away from you..”

If it were just ordinary people meeting each other, it wouldn't be difficult.

But these are two people who cannot fulfill what their hearts desire. Just because it's Oiran

“Lord Ren.. I want to be with you..... I want to be by your side..."

His sweet face slowly lifted up. Big eyes that were filled with tears intersected with sharp eyes. And a little, sad smile

“I need you.”

The tall figure bent down and pressed his forehead close. Let the little child cry and sob A slender hand slowly lifted up, gently cradling his soft cheek. Before pressing his lips gently against those soft lips.

In my heart I know well.. that this is an inappropriate thing to do As Oiran together, loving one another and making love together is a forbidden matter. is the lowest action And if anyone knows The punishment would be like hell on earth.

Only in this time... He couldn't restrain himself any longer. Because the taste of some body that I have been yearning for for a long time is so sweet. Until I want to take a chance and see. to do as one desires

“Both you and I might be in trouble if anyone finds out about this, but Haruki...”

Whispering against those lips Eyes fixed with tenderness

“Are you ready to walk with me?”

The little boy locked eyes and didn't turn away. and clearly saw the stability and dependability in those eyes A sweet smile slowly spread out. To answer that he is ready to be by your side. Move forward together No matter how bad the future is

Some people's answers brought joy until they overflowed with happiness. The tall figure hugged him tightly as if he didn't intend to let him go away from him.

“I will protect you.”

Said while giving another kiss Start softly Before rushing in a little at a time, take it easy. This lesson has been taught I don't know how many times before, but at this time it was sweeter than any time before. Because now two hearts have joined together as one.

The young man helped the little boy to lie down on a soft blanket. while those lips had not left Two hands opened the white yukata. Push your small legs apart and hold your body close. Before pulling my lips away Then lowered his body down and caressed gently along the neck.

His warm breath hit the skin of his body and it started to feel hot. The touch of a hand caressing your thigh makes your heart flutter. His little body was trembling with emotions that were starting to bubble up in his heart. The more he felt this closeness, the more his whole body felt limp.

The lips that hovered on the surface of the neck moved downwards along the breast. Before slender hands opened the placket of his shirt and kissed her down. The tip of his tongue slowly licked and tasted the soft skin. Then he took possession of the small, erect breast.

“Ah!”

I was startled by a sudden shock. In the past, the young man had never given himself a touch like this before.

...A very strange touch...

His sweet face lifted up to look at the actions of the young man straddling his body. Little by little, some apprehension began to build up. However, something sparkling in his eyes made him follow him. It was as if he had been drawn into some illusory mist that he had never encountered before.

Haruki slowly closed her eyes, letting her body and mind follow Ren's lead. Because in the end He knew that the destination was the happiness he had been waiting for for so long.

The night sky was filled with bright stars. and the soft moon that shone with its full afterglow It is decorated with fluffy clouds that are almost the same color as the sky. And when the cool breeze blows gently I heard the rustling of the leaves. It's like the sound of heaven on earth.

Especially when next to you is the person you love most in your heart.

Sharp eyes stared at the small figure's tired face. The fingertips gently caressed the cheek. Gently touching it as if touching something precious and delicate. that do not want to be broken and lost

Definitely don't want to disappear again. Never..

Smiling at the sight before him. before moving in to place a kiss on full red lips Taste just a little. Lingering and wasting time with sweetness as if it was never enough.

But still... It's so sweet. So bitter

When you know what you've done It's a stigma that doesn't deserve to happen. But when I can't stop my mind anymore He could only accept it and move on with his life. With hearts bound together It is a bond that no one can ever understand.

It will remain a secret in the illusory mist of Yoshiwara.

like drops of honey in a medicine cup Like flowers in a glass frame Like freedom in the cage of lust

Cruel happiness

That's what will continue. From the spring of the eighteenth year Until eternity

END

*Cheese Talk*

Hello ^^ Cheese, pen name ~

CHEESEZUNA~

Stop by and say hello a bit. And I would like to talk about this short story.

CRAYON

It is a piece of writing where Cheese re-wrote the original work that he wrote when he was a child. (At that time, pen name ~

Chizuna~)

By the main theme of

CRAYON

It will be a story that focuses on childish love. With the thought that We've all been through childish love.

Whether it's the desire to possess, delusion, or the mouth that doesn't match the heart. Dedicate everything to just one person. It's a love that isn't yet known.

It is the origin of the use of crayons (

crayon)

Let's talk about being a child.

The cheese is intended to be decorated.

CRAYON

It's a short story with a few episodes. Each episode has a color theme. There are different times. (Not all periods)

And most of the relationships between the characters usually have different ages. I like kids. Haha.

for

CRAYON: White, Bitter Honey

Cage of lust

This white theme can be said to be easy or difficult, haha. Personally, I'm a person who likes the period and culture (not everything) of Japan. So I brought up Oiran's forbidden love and wrote it. The language and feelings of the characters are a bit ancient. Because it was an era where it was very difficult to express your feelings directly, especially when you were an oiran.

This love theme Cheese presents is a feeling of wanting to protect. not expecting anything in return You can call it pure love in the impurity of the characters, and that is the white color that Cheese presents.

All readers, if you have any opinions, you can leave comments ^^ or just say hello. Please introduce yourself.

~Cheesezuna~