「In the past life Does my identity mean anything to anyone?」

A young woman's final thoughts arise when she learns that she will die in less than an hour. Her physical condition now lying on the hospital bed had reached its limit. She was fully aware and could only wait for death.

death in front There's no escape. No one can help. This is the last 1 hour you will have on this earth.

“Oh, Iya! What philosophy are you coming from?!! Your life already has meaning to us. So please don't say anything more sad than this.”

Yarin, a 40-year-old working woman with terminal colon cancer, was scolded by her female friend.

“Miss Som, even if you say so, I will be able to rest forever soon. My physical condition can't handle it anymore. You yourself should know better. So before I fall asleep, please stay with me and talk for a bit.”

“It's definitely there! Whatever you say, I'll listen to you myself."

"thank"

Yarin was very happy that at least she had good friends in his life. Maybe this was just luck during his last breath.

“My past life has been since childhood. I have always studied hard to get good grades in order to get into a famous university as my parents expected. And I really succeeded. I feel very proud of myself.”

“But what you traded for was the time of youth that was lost because of studies, right? Even when a man comes to flirt with you, you're still not interested at all. You have told me this story many times. If this were a classic tape, the tape would have been stretched several times.”

“These days, no one talks about cassette tapes anymore. You really use words that are appropriate for your age, Miss Som. Haha.”

“Never mind me!”

“But just like you said. I wasted my teenage years. Plus now I don't have a girlfriend with him because he's always a workaholic. Have worked hard for many years. All of which are for a higher job position and salary…”

“Finally, I suddenly had pain in my stomach while working. And when I went for a checkup, I found out that I had stage 4 cancer... right?"

“Yes, the second I found out the test results, my world shattered. The money you spent so many years earning ended up being just the cost of your medical care. The position he had gained had become worthless. Previously, when I took a leave of absence from work to get treatment, it was fine in the beginning. But when the leave became more frequent, the company called me to talk to request cancellation of the employment contract because it was considered that people like this were unlikely to bring any benefit to the organization in the long run any longer.

Looks disgusting, right? I have always tried to maintain the important things in life, whether it be work or money. In the end, when cancer appeared, everything in life was ruined. When you say it, it looks funny. Are you free now, Miss Som?”

“….I think we'd better change the subject and talk?”

“No, I don't have time left. If I don't say it now, when will I say it again? Is that true?"

Both of them were silent for a moment. But then Yarin began to speak.

“Today, I'm glad you came to look at my heart. My father and mother passed away a long time ago. Other people are so busy with their regular jobs that they don't have time to visit. Only friends from high school like you can come visit me because they're freelancers. Looking at the money, it's not a lot, but it looks happy. I really envy you.

Now I understand that in the end, people just want someone who understands us. If you don't have any money, you can still find it again. But friends like you really can't be found again. Thank you, dear friend.”

“You don't have to say anything touching.”

“Really, if I could go back in time I also want to do…… eh? Little Orange, are you crying?”

What Yarin saw in front of him were tears flowing down Som's cheeks at that moment. And it seems that Som also shed tears without realizing it.

“Eh, am I crying?”

"Yes, but it's understandable."

“Honestly, don't you feel anything at all? You're about to die! It must be so stressful that it's unbearable. Why do you still seem so calm?! I really don't understand you at all.”

As soon as Som finished speaking Yarin was silent for a while and then replied:

“Probably because…even if I'm sad, I can't go back in time and change the past. I'm tired after thinking about it. So all I can do here and now is focus on talking to you.”

“In the past, I have lived up to other people's expectations. both parents' expectations of co-workers It's like I've always been dedicated to other people's needs. When it comes to the last moment like this, I also want to ask why I did it. Why didn't I act for my own needs in the past?

Too busy serving the dreams of others that you don't even think about yourself. It's completely crazy.”

“And if you could go back in time, what would you like to do for yourself? Miss Yarin?”

Som secretly spoke a little to annoy Yarin.

“That must be a rice and curry vendor, haha.”

“You're telling the truth. It's like you can't believe it. For someone like you who graduated with first class honors from a number one university, when you talk like this, it sounds strange. Even though I am a childhood friend, I have never heard you talk about this before.”

“How can I speak? If I told you in high school, everyone would laugh and laugh. A kid from the King's room like me just said that, it seems strange, right? So I chose not to speak. But now I can say it because there is nothing to hide anymore.”

“Oh, so why are you interested in becoming a rice and curry vendor?”

"Probably because I like tying curry bags so they puff up. It's fun, haha."

“No, really.”

“True, in the past I liked a local curry shop. Whatever my aunt makes, everything is delicious. Everyone who came to eat looked happy. I saw that and wanted to become a rice and curry vendor like that aunt. At that time, I practiced tying curry bags every day. Isn't it funny that my dreams as a kid were so wild?"

“No, maybe it suits you.”

"I'll open a rice and curry shop in heaven and I'll pager you and tell you."

“Heh, who uses pagers these days? You use the same old term, don't you?”

“………Iya.”

Yarin has now passed away peacefully.

“Eiyaaa, wake up!!”

「Death always comes sooner than you think.」

“Someone, please come here!!!”

「And death often comes without realizing it.」

“Anyone can!!!”

Death gives equality to all things.

and death is the truth

Stay in the present moment.

And don't be sad. with things that have passed

But do what you can still do now.

- All that for yourself -

THE END