This is the first story written on this website. Most of it I wrote on

Read&Write

But I'll try to post it here as well. Please let me know what you think. Please feel free to read at your convenience.

My family consists of a mother who is a market owner and a younger brother who is only a year apart. My father has been a mystery since childhood until he disappeared. But not having a father does not mean that I will grow up without a support pole. I have a mother who is a woman who I think is stronger than men. My mother took care of me and my younger sibling until we grew up on our own without any problems.

“Raising you guys is just a small matter,” Mom said with a smile.

My sister and I were very close when we were children. She always follows me wherever I go. The younger one will always walk slowly and follow. When I was in elementary school, my younger sibling and I used to go play in the village garden. His body was weak, so he couldn't run for long before he was out of breath. At that time, I would let him ride on my back. His body pressed against my back was a warmth that I will never forget.

During high school, he was often sick, causing him to have to go in and out of the hospital on a weekly basis. I always visited at the end of school and always had something in hand for him, from snacks, toys, and pajamas.

“Why did you buy me pajamas?” he asked while lying on the bed while giving the entire bag of saline.

“It's a blessing.”

“How do you wish?” He tilted his head suspiciously, which made me smile.

“So we don't have to wear hospital gowns often.”

"You're strange."

“That's right,” we both laughed, causing the cold walls of the hospital to warm up.

I am a child from the provinces. My childhood was not very exciting, going to school, going home and playing with my younger siblings. I am a person who is not very good at socializing. What should I say? It's like I saw another child and felt awkward to go talk to him. From elementary school until high school, I only had my younger siblings with whom I was comfortable talking.

The only friend I have in my life is my younger brother. The only thing that I often do together with my younger brother is watch movies. We watch every kind of movie that is shown. Comedy movies, ghost movies, action movies. We watch them all. He likes Uncle Hayao's movies. Miyazaki is very Miyazaki, you could even call it crazy. His room was filled with Studio Ghibli posters and various character figures displayed in cabinets.

He could talk at length about it for hours. Personally, I don't have any favorite films or any favorite directors. I don't feel fulfilled when I watch movies alone. I know it's better if I watch movies with my younger sibling.

Soon I had to go to university and my mother would send me to study in Bangkok. At first I didn't agree, but the mother still insisted that I go. I don't want to be separated from my sister. If I separate from him, what will happen to me? During that time, I argued with my mother every day. The smiles that used to be there in the house began to fade away little by little. Mom rarely smiles, neither do I.

At that time I made a firm decision that no matter what I would not go. I don't want to go to a land where I don't know any friends and be alone there. He must have sensed the tension between me and his mother, so he knocked on my room the night before my final exams. I opened the door and saw my little brother wearing the cartoon pajamas I had bought him. He hugged his rotting pillow.

“Can I sleep with you today?” he said, looking into my eyes. I have never refused a visit from him. I let him sleep on the bed and I laid a mattress on the floor. We lay down to sleep. I turned off the light and closed my eyes.

“Brother,” came a voice from above the bed.

“What?” I replied, still closing my eyes.

"Are you really not going to Bangkok?"

“Hmm.” I turned to look at the edge of the bed.

“But his mother wants you to go.”

"I know, but I don't want to leave you. I don't know if I'll ever find friends."

She was quiet for a moment. I thought he had nothing more to say and got ready to go to bed.

“I remember the story.

Spirited Away

can"

"um"

“You're like Chihiro, going to a land you don't know. It might be scary at first, but you'll definitely meet someone who will be your Haku. It will be okay.”

Our conversation ended that night.

The next morning before I went to study, I told my mother that I agreed to go to study in Bangkok. I saw my mother's smile again and behind it was my brother's favorite smile.

In the village garden I sat on the swing. I was swinging around aimlessly. Can I do it? Can I really go to the land of loneliness, far away from the smiles of these two? My whole life I have never been away from them. I've lived here all my life and never even stepped foot out of here. I was always afraid of the change. Every time it happened I would feel a lump in my stomach like my intestines were twisting out of shape.

Right now, too, my stomach is churning. I didn't tell anyone about this, I kept it to myself. I can't let it ruin their smiles.

At the end of July it was time for me to travel to the city. I hugged my mother and brother goodbye at the bus station. I carried a backpack on my back. Beside me were two suitcases. One note was bought by my mother, and the other note was given to me and my younger sibling each with half.

"You can do it, you're already good at it," he said as he hugged me.

“Yes, your stepmother brought me with you. Why don't you know how good you are?”

I walked up to the car and waved goodbye to them. I didn't take my eyes off them as the car took off. I watched them keep looking as far as my eyes could see.

I arrived in the city at 11:00 p.m. The first step that I took to enter the countryside The first thing I encountered was the light of the city even though it was already very dark. I walked out of the station onto a sidewalk full of potholes and bright streetlights. I waved my hand and hailed the taxi on the right, pink. I opened the door, told my destination, and then got into the back seat.

The driver pressed the meter, the number increased and the car took off. The cityscape at night is different from my home. It's bright and alive. People walking on the sidewalk Cars still filling the road Tall building filled with lights It was then that I realized that the city's nightlife was longer than my home.

My dormitory is not very big. If I have to live with another person, who he is, I still don't know. I chose the room closest to the entrance. Inside the room was only a bed, a desk, and a wardrobe. I left my suitcase like that. Then he threw himself onto the bed. I sighed and removed my backpack from myself and placed it on the side of the bed.

I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling at an unturned light bulb. I looked at it and imagined the sky. I saw a completely dark sky without stars. It was dark and rusty, unlike at home. My stomach knotted again. I curled up on my back, the sound of a motorbike passing by the window. I want to cry so much Can I sing? Crying in this darkness

In this dark place alone Silence embraces me Darkness kisses my eyelids Then I fell into a deep slumber.

The next morning I found a pink note posted in front of my room. It was a greeting from a classmate.

“Hello roommate,” was all he wrote. I noticed a change in the room. The basket on the dining table that had fruit on it was empty yesterday. The refrigerator was full of fresh produce and drinking water. I took the initiative to drink his water. I poured water into a glass, lifted it up and drank it to quench my thirst. After I finished drinking, I washed the glass.

I went into the bathroom to take a shower. I smelled bad from last night. During the shower my stomach still felt butterflies. My thoughts were restless as they flowed like water flowing through my body. I don't know how to introduce myself to him. What kind of person is he? Will he like kids from other provinces like me? I didn't have the courage to knock on the door and greet him.

I decided to go out and explore around my dorm. I may have made the wrong decision. The afternoon sun in the city is merciless and shade is rarer than anything. If I were as skinny as a lamppost, it would be nice to be able to escape the sun in its shade. I sweated all over my wet t-shirt, clinging to my body. I stopped by a restaurant with air conditioning.

I wasn't used to his hospitality and it made me feel guilty that I thought it was too formal. He led me to the table and set down the menu. I entered the store without knowing what it was. The only thing I thought about was wanting to cool off. I looked at the menu and the prices. There were some names that I didn't know. There were some that I was familiar with but the prices were more expensive than normal.

I looked for the cheapest thing on the menu and it was probably a twenty baht bottle of water. Sitting at their counter and ordering only water would be too ugly from the eyes of the pressured employees. So I looked at the names that I thought were the most delicious and priced no more than two hundred. I kept my eyes on the chicken breast Caesar salad. Caesar is a name I'm familiar with. It's the name of a monkey in a movie I used to watch with Nong.

I called the waiter and pointed out the menu to him without saying a word. As he walked away, a question popped into my head. What do monkeys have to do with salad?

At five o'clock I walked back to the dormitory. The sun began to subside after some time had passed. Along the way, we encountered many convenience stores, stray dogs, and motorcycle taxis. Walking on city sidewalks requires awareness at all times or you will fall prey to bumps and bumps. My dorm looked lonely at six o'clock. Its green color contrasts with the color of the melting sky.

It stood alone in a deep alley. Below the entrance, a brown dog lay guard. He acts like the guardian of this place. I walked past it. Tap the keycard and take the elevator to the fourth floor.

In the room I could feel my roommate's movements. He left his mark everywhere. On the table was a blank note and a plastic bag.

“This restaurant is delicious.” I opened it and saw it was a bag of chicken rice. My stomach was still full from the salad, so I put the bag of chicken and rice in the refrigerator. I saw a blank notepad with a magic pen. My heart hesitated a bit before I picked up a pen and wrote on a note and stuck it on his door. I hurriedly walked into my room after sticking the note, fearing that someone would see me. My heart was pounding, I didn't like this feeling.

I have nothing to do, so I'm completely empty and have no hobbies. When I look back, I realize that my life has revolved around my family, and I'm not going anywhere. Now that I don't have them by my side, it makes me empty, with nothing to fill me, a vessel without anything to fill it. I don't know when it will begin to crack. In the future, I don't know what it will be like.

The night was long and the fact that this wasn't sharing the same sky as my family kept me from sleeping. My eyes widened and I stared at the white ceiling and the light bulbs reflecting the moonlight. I sighed, my head was dizzy with sleep but every time I closed my eyes I couldn't fall asleep. I got out of bed and opened the door to my room.

The living room was dark, with only the light from the TV lit along with the sound. I looked at the sofa and saw the back of a person's head. I think he's my roommate. My heart beats faster. I saw his jet black hair. The TV was showing the soap operas my mother liked to watch. My hands were trembling. I adjusted my breathing and gathered it together.

and decided to go greet him I walked around to the side of the sofa and saw half of his face. He looked handsome, with sharp eyes, a high nose, a well-shaped mouth, and a balanced facial structure that didn't have any excess. I swallowed.

“Hi,” I said in a trembling voice. But he still didn't turn to look at me. He also looked at the drama after the news that was being shown. I gathered up courage again and decided to sit next to him (but keeping some distance) and greeted him again.

This time, he turned around and looked straight at his face, which was even more handsome than what he saw from the side.

“What?” His voice was soft.

“What?” Silence enveloped both of us. No one said anything. He turned to look at the TV. I turned around and looked at the TV. We sat and watched the drama after the news attentively. Every scene that was shown we watched it with our own eyes without saying a word to each other.

After the news drama ended, it was a variety show. It came on instead of me still looking at the TV. He stopped looking and turned to look at me.

“What's your name?” He broke the silence.

“Dome,” I turned to meet his eyes.

“As for us, Bank,” he said, holding out his hand for me to shake. At first I hesitated. I don't like touching other people's bodies. But out of our courtesy and friendship, I shook his hand. His hands were as warm as Ovanti's in the morning. I smiled, even though I wondered if it was a strange smile. He looked and smiled back, then we turned to watch the variety show that was playing on TV.

Let time flow with its melody I moved closer to him until we were sitting next to each other. I yawned, he yawned, and we fell asleep on the sofa. And the night continues

I woke up to the morning news program. A feeling of back pain and heavy eyes I got up from the sofa and stretched and twisted, hoping that the pain in my back would go away, but to no avail. My stomach rumbles. My world was spinning so distorted that I had to shake my head to regain consciousness. I remember there was chicken rice in the refrigerator. The trip from the sofa to the refrigerator took a long time due to back pain and lethargy. I opened the refrigerator and there was no sign of chicken rice. There was only a pink note on it.

"Please eat." That's all it took to replace my chicken rice. I raised my head and sighed, looking for something to eat in the refrigerator but didn't find anything, only fresh food, which I don't know how to cook. I closed the refrigerator door, walked to the sink and washed my face, dissolving the gunk that was clinging to my face.

Late that night, I met Bank again. He was still watching TV as usual. I went to get a bottle of water from the refrigerator and sat down next to him.

We sat and watched TV until he lost interest. I wasn't asleep yet, but Bank was already asleep. I looked at the bank's face. He is a very charming person. I thought he was a star or a model but probably not, he was asleep on the arm of the sofa. His sleeping face was the same as my younger sibling's. It was so similar that it put me at ease. I walked back to my room, threw myself on the bed, closed my eyes and thought about the pitch black sky. Close your eyes and go to sleep.

The next evening the bank invited me to go to the market. At first I was a little hesitant to agree. We had just met recently and I was still not familiar with this big city. I was going to reject him, but looking at his face, I had enough courage to say yes. I sat on the back of his orange PC Ace motorcycle. His back was wide and warm.

It was a big market, about the width of two football fields. There were so many people walking past each other that it made me dizzy.

“What province are you from?” Bank turned to ask me as he walked in front of me.

“Phitsanulok,” I answered. I began to feel comfortable talking to him, like a stone had been lifted from my chest. Bank stopped by to look at various stalls and I just followed him like a child.

“So where do you come from?” The first question I asked was about him. Banks turned and smiled at me and pointed his finger at the ground.

We returned with Bank's kitchenware and some snacks. I quickly walked over and turned on the fan to relieve the heat that had accumulated within me. Bank placed his things on the table and then walked up behind me. At first I was a little shocked that he did this, my body was afraid to move.

“You took away all the fans,” he said, resting his face on my back.

"I'll just move it for you." I was about to get up. He held my shoulder.

“It's okay, just stay like this.” Does he know that my heart is beating faster than it used to? We stayed in that position until the heat began to escape from my body.

“Here, I bought you something.” He got off my back, but the sweat on his face was still on my shirt. He walked over and picked up something in a plastic bag. I remember seeing him coming out of the jewelry store when I was going to buy grilled meat. He threw it to me but I couldn't catch it in time.

The thing that fell to the ground was a silver ring with the shape of a snake eating its own tail. I picked it up and looked at it.

“Ring?” I turned to him and asked.

“Um, I bought it as a present for our meeting.”

I tried it on on my white ring finger.

“Why is it a snake?” I turned to him and asked.

Banks tilted his head and rubbed his chin.

“The snake is cute.”

“Is this a snake?”

"Yes"

“Snakes, if we look at them carefully, they aren't that bad. Just because some are poisonous doesn't mean that all are poisonous.”

I put the ring on my bedside table every night and look at it before I go to sleep. Every time I look at it, I feel like I am filled with something. It allows me to sleep comfortably without stomach upset.

“Why do you think there aren't any stars in the city?” Bank asked me while we were watching TV.

"I don't know. Every time I look up, the sky is completely dark."

“I think it's because the city stole the light from the stars,” he said.

“We stole the light of the sky and brought it to the ground.” I turned to look at him.

“It's a strange idea.”

“I think so. But if you think about it, the light we're turning on right now is shining out into space like a star,” he said with a smile that will be one of those smiles that I will keep in my memory along with Roy. Mother and younger sister's smile What is this comfort? My moments of suffering have all disappeared.

I smiled at him, hoping that my smile would remain in his memory. He still smiled in response. I wish it would be like this forever.

A call came to me in the middle of the night while we were watching TV. Banks fell asleep and he slept against the backrest as usual. I picked up my phone. His brother's name appeared on the screen. He never called me at a time like this. What's wrong with him? I pressed accept.

"Hello, what's up?" I greeted him first.

“Hello, bro.” His voice sounded through the phone and made his body smaller.

“What?” He was silent for a while, not saying anything, only the sound of the soft wind blowing at him.

“There's nothing. I just want to hear your voice."

“It's already late, why aren't you asleep yet?” I said to him, looking at the time on my phone, it showed one hour.

“I can't sleep,” he said in a soft whisper. “And where are you now?”

“My room.”

“Then why is there a sound of wind?”

“I opened the window.” The sound of the wind continued to blow.

“You'll feel sick soon. Close the window and go to sleep, don't you have school tomorrow?" I said with concern. She replied in a low and small voice that I couldn't hear.

“What?”

"Nothing, I'm going to bed first."

"Oh, okay. Good night."

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

The call cut off and the sound of the wind stopped and I returned to my dormitory again. I looked around at the lights that weren't on. Sink full of dishes sleeping bank After I heard the sound of the wind, I wanted to give my body some wind. I walked over and opened the balcony door and stepped out. A gentle breeze brushed against his body. I looked at the sky and it was still the same color as before, completely dark.

There was only the bright moon. The building was as bright as a lamppost. The red car taillights still move in bright light. LED signs that still project advertising images I think the city didn't just steal the starlight. Stole something from me. I turned to look at the sleeping bank. Yes, the city stole something from me, something very important to me. A fraction of my life

On the opening day of school, I was a little excited. The worry that I would get lost gnawed at me. The only time I went to the university was to report for duty, and then I never went again. Banks walked out of his room in a t-shirt and shorts. He looked good even in this outfit. He walked over and patted both of my shoulders and then massaged them.

“It's okay, friend. It will go well.” I turned to thank him. He offered to drop me off but I wanted him to sleep so I declined. He yawned. I refused and asked him to brush his teeth. He furrowed his eyebrows and told me that his mouth didn't smell bad and opened his mouth to spit bad breath in my face. His hand was pressed against his face and he told him to go brush his teeth.

He backed up and smiled and laughed. Then he went to sleep in his room. I walked out.

The road is chaotic Cars whiz by in a hurry, contrasting with the rows of motorways where people wait for roots to grow. I decided to walk the six kilometers to the university from my dormitory. It's not too far for people like me who don't like being crowded with anyone on the bus.

I arrived at university later than everyone else, that's for sure, but what made my heart race more than anyone else was that I was worried about the school building. I don't know where it is. Everywhere I looked, there were only buildings everywhere. What would the faculty name signs at the entrance help if it wasn't my faculty? I saw students passing by and it made me want to vomit, my head ached.

I kept walking, looking at the map on my phone, alternating with looking ahead and surveying the buildings. I didn't know where I was walking and every step made my legs feel more numb. I didn't dare to ask anyone for directions. Every time I went in to ask, I would feel anxious.

Being late to class on the first day is embarrassing. I walked with my head down the whole way through the classroom. There aren't many seating options, just the front or the very back. I chose the second option. A projector screen projects slides of the instructor. He wore steel-rimmed glasses. The face is full of crow's feet.

His voice stretched out like a fading tape. He always adjusts the position of his glasses to look at the projector screen. I yawn. It's not an interesting subject, he's just telling us to get to know each other. My eyes scanned the room and found that all the students were already clustered together, with only a few people sitting alone like me.

I felt like I didn't fit in, like I wasn't part of the fold. I didn't listen to the teacher's voice, but looked around to see if I could find anyone as a friend.

The bed in the dormitory was extraordinarily soft. Today I slept naked with only a pair of underwear on, with my school shirt and pants scattered all over the floor. I buried my face in the bed. The fatigue I carried was still on my shoulders. Walking among people consumed a lot of my energy. My breath hit my face.

There was a knock at the door. I didn't move but turned my eyes around. Banks stood at my door in the same clothes as he had this morning. He looked at me with a smile.

"How are you"

“Tired.” My voice was muffled by my face still on the bed.

“Let's go get something to eat.”

“I don't want to be lazy.”

He walked over and sat next to me. "I'm not hungry." I shook my head in denial. Bank threw his shirt over me.

“Let's go get something to eat.” Bank smacked my back. The tiredness in my shoulders eased. I decided to get up and put on my shirt and go outside with him.

We came home again at 5 p.m. I was covered in sweat and I had no energy left so I threw myself on the sofa. Bank yawned and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. We gathered around the sofa again and watched the TV showing the evening news. I yawned at the sound of the news anchor's orderly report.

Bank still doesn't take his eyes off the TV as usual. It was like this almost every evening. We would sit and watch TV until late at night. It wasn't good for my health, I know, but it made me feel at ease, like all my worries melted away with the sound of the TV in the dark room. Bank usually falls asleep before me. As for me, when I see him sleeping, I go into the room and when I sleep, I stare at the ring he gave me and stare at it until I fall asleep.

I still can't make friends in college even though I'm about to finish my first semester. In the classroom, the students were all gathered together, and there was only me sitting alone at the edge of the room. Every time there is group work, I wait for the time. Waiting for someone to announce the search for the missing person and I will plug in. I will do my part to the best of my ability.

Besides that, I won't do anything beyond that. Even if the work turns out to be bad because my friend refuses to do it, I don't blame him and I don't blame anyone for letting it continue like that. I don't know why university feels so far away from me. I don't feel connected. It was like a place where I had to come and leave without any connections. But the place that I feel most connected to is a narrow dormitory where a banknote is waiting.

I never asked him where he went to school or how old he was. I felt like that would cross a line in our relationship or that it might be territory that I didn't dare cross. It could be me who is thinking too much or it could be something that will actually happen. So I chose to keep quiet and not ask anything to keep our relationship like this.

Bank and I don't have many activities to do together when we're in the room. But it means a lot to me. That time helped me keep my footing in this city.

We share shifts: Bank cooks and I wash the dishes. We make it a part of us. I think this part will never leave me, especially his face when he eats.

“How many more years do you think this city will last?” he asked while we were watching TV.

"I don't know."

“I think in a few years this city will disappear,” he said in a calm voice, eyes still on the TV.

"Why?"

“A city that does not move is a city that is dying.”

I was silent for a while. “But the city still has life, people still live in it.”

“Right now, but soon it will disappear from the world, leaving only a name in the history books.”

“Just because it doesn't move?” He nodded.

“Anything that does not move cannot withstand the rotation of the earth. Those things will die in the end.”

Is something still moving? I looked at his face, the bridge of his nose was perfectly shaped. If stopping this moment and not moving anywhere makes me disappear, I am willing to disappear as long as I can be with him for my comfort.

That night, there was another phone call from my younger sibling. For the second time, I heard the sound of wind coming from his line.

"How is it going"

"I can't sleep." His voice was so soft that I stared at it intently.

“What's wrong with you not being able to sleep?” Nong was silent and didn't answer me. The sound of the wind was still blowing through his microphone.

“I miss you,” I said, hoping it would reach him without being taken away by the wind.

“I miss you too.” His voice shook, so did my heart.

“Can you tell me something?” He remained quiet as usual. We stayed like this for a while.

"I'd better go to bed," he said, quickly ending the call.

I couldn't sleep. Something about that conversation was stuck in my chest. I looked at the ring that Bank gave me and it shone brightly in the moonlight. The sound of trees blowing in the wind I was on the bed, but my mind was elsewhere. I returned to the house to my sister's room, only to find an empty bed, a neat bed, a desk with letters on it, an open window and blown curtains. go with the wind

The next morning I called my younger sister but there was no answer. I tried again, this time I called my mother instead. Mom picks up the phone

"What's the matter?"

“Are you there, Mom?”

"How can it survive? It has to be at its school."

I'm relieved

“Is there anything you want to talk about with him?”

"No, I just miss my little brother."

“And how do you not miss your mother?”

"Think about it. I'll go back when the midterms are over."

"Oh, let's bring good grades to Mom as well."

I couldn't say anything to get the grade my mother expected. It wouldn't be as good as I thought.

As the midterms closed, my work piled up over my head and I tried to deal with it as quickly as possible. I gave up my time watching TV with the bank to finish the job. I lived in my bedroom and went back to university. I was so focused on work that I forgot to shower and cook in the evening. After finishing work, my body stank, my room was a mess, and my stomach was crying out for me. food

I went into the shower to wash myself and change clothes from my student uniform to pajamas. On the dining table was fried rice that Bank had made. He was watching TV, not paying attention to me. I sat and ate alone. The taste of Bank's rice was quite salty, but I could accept it. After eating, I washed the dishes and went to sit down on the sofa next to him.

“Is the work finished?” Bank asked me.

“Um,” I nodded. Silence enveloped both of us. It was a calm, calm silence. Bank turned off the TV and walked out. I followed him until the door to his room closed. I don't know if he's angry at me or if I've done something wrong over the past week. Falling into darkness, I walked through it and returned to my room.

I swept away all the trash on the bed before laying down on the bed. I looked at the ring he gave me one more time before the darkness of the night took me into dreamland.

In that dream, I was in my younger sister's room. My body was completely naked, with no clothes covering me. I was lying on my sister's bed. The bed was neat and tidy. I lay there until I felt someone else hugging me from behind. I turned to look and saw Bank. He was naked. Our bodies. Almost close to each other, our genitals crashed into each other.

I felt like I was completely filled with something from him. His body filled me. I hope I can add something to him.

I woke up in the morning, my body covered with sweat and my throat parched. I walked out to get some water and found a note taped to the front of the refrigerator.

“I'm going home, goodbye,” was all he wrote. The door to his room was open. I decided to walk into that room and take a look. It was like no one had ever lived in an empty closet. A bed without sheets The book table is still the same.

In the evening I went home to the provinces by bus. As the car was driving out of the suburbs, the sun was setting. The sky is melting and turning black. I hope that tonight at my house I will meet familiar stars I arrived home at 11:00 p.m. Everything was dark except the bus station. I called the motorcycle taxi driver and told him my destination and set off.

The house was pitch dark with no lights. I opened the door to the house and it wasn't locked. There aren't many changes inside the house, it's still the same. I walked to my sister's room. I opened the door slowly so as not to make a sound. I met the shadow of my younger brother who was lying on the bed. I walked back to my room and opened the door to enter the room.

I lay down on the bed My breath came in and out rhythmically as I turned my head to look at the ceiling, imagining the sky above it. Found a black canvas full of stars I came back and returned to my house. Before I fell asleep, I felt another knot in my stomach.

My younger sibling looked strange. He spoke less and looked thinner. T-shirts that used to fit loosely like someone else's shirt. I don't know if Mom has noticed the change in her younger sibling, but he has changed. After I haven't seen you for many months. At first, I was shocked to see his condition like that. When I asked my mother, she replied that he was fine.

So I kept this in mind. I stopped at home doing nothing but watching TV and went out to help my mother collect the bills. When I looked back at my mother's market, it looked small compared to the market in the city. We sometimes go out to watch movies on Saturdays and Sundays with my younger sibling. I'll ride Mom's old Wave 100 and my younger sibling rides in the back.

Today I decided to watch a romantic movie and she agreed. We entered the theater on time. One of his hobbies is that he likes watching commercials in movie theaters. His eyes always showed a glint of happiness when watching movies, but this time, there was no such glint in his eyes. After the movie ended, he usually talked at length about the movie, but this time he stayed quiet and didn't say anything. He just followed me.

He was really strange. I didn't imagine it myself, but no matter what I told my mother, she kept insisting that he was fine. When I asked him if something was wrong, he replied that it was normal. There was nothing. The only thing I can do is notice him and tell him that I will always be by his side. She nodded and gave me a smile that was not the smile I knew.

There wasn't much time for the midterm break so I had to go back to the city. I waved goodbye to my mother, but the younger one didn't come to send me off. He said he was sick. I feel a little lost with this goodbye. Mother reminded me about the grades I needed to improve. I nodded and walked to the car.

I returned to the same dormitory, the same room, only to find the bank empty. The bank still hadn't returned. I entered the same room, opened my bag and put the clothes in the closet. Looking around the room, everything was still the same, only traces of the banknote missing. My stomach growled, I hadn't eaten anything the entire way. I opened the refrigerator and found only an empty water bottle.

At 1:00 a.m., I walked down to the convenience store in front of the alley. Ready-made rice and basil are served with steamed eggs. I stood waiting for my wave next to the freezer. The cold made me rub my arm. As we walked back, I was accompanied by the sound of dry leaves every step of the way. The brown dog looked up at me at the entrance to the dormitory. I patted its head and walked up to the elevator.

I returned to the room and turned on the TV, sat down on the floor against the sofa and started eating. I don't feel fulfilled anymore when I sit and watch TV. It's like something is missing. I turned to look at the bank's room, which was now empty. He stole something from me and I waited for him to give it back to me. But there's probably no way. I fell asleep on that sofa.

In the second semester, I started to get used to the university. I began to know more about the university path and became familiar with the study system. But I still can't find friends. I'm still alone in the back of the room as usual. The teacher's voice when speaking still lingers as long as ever. Everything went on like the first semester except that when I returned to the room I didn't see the bank.

“How are you?” I stood on the balcony talking on the phone.

“Just so and so.” His voice was not bright.

“Okay, right?”

“Yes, I'm fine.” We were even more silent for a moment, leaving the line hanging like that.

“Is there anything you can tell me? I'm your younger sibling. No matter what, I can do it.” He didn't reply.

"That's all for now. I'm going to do my homework first," he said, ending the call. You left me alone in this city that stole something from me. I'm already used to being alone.

Two months later, I had to abruptly leave class with a phone call from my mother. My world is distorted and not straight. My legs were so numb I could hardly move. The picture in front of me was completely blurred and unclear. It took a long time for me to return to my room. I opened my suitcase and stuffed the shirts in without looking to see which ones had been washed and which ones hadn't.

I set out for the bus station and picked the fastest possible bus time. In the car, I was still processing the news I had received. My mother's words, my mother's voice, still echoed in my head. The scenery in the window is meaningless. Carbonated water is tasteless. Everything was as if it were still and not moving anywhere. Am I moving?

I arrived at the temple just in time for the event. I looked at the brick pagoda and the golden church with a strange feeling. I rarely go to temple and I especially dislike it in the evening. The sky is melting, I keep walking I arrived at the venue and there were many people dressed in pitch black, contrasting with the color of the monks' robes. Mother is serving water. I walked towards her.

“Mom,” my voice was quieter than usual. “What does it mean?” She shook her head and asked me to help serve water, but I refused.

“Why did you just tell me?” She didn't answer and walked out to continue serving water.

I walked to the coffin. Kneeling down, the image beside him clearly showed his face. He was smiling, a smile that I remember.

For three whole days during the event, I didn't talk to my mother at all. We felt like we were cut off from each other. Not a single word came out of my mother's mouth either.

Before the coffin lid was opened, I saw that face again.

It wasn't my younger sibling's face. It was someone else's face. It wasn't the face of the person I knew who he was. When I looked again, I saw another face superimposed on it. It's the face of the bank.

Everyone leaves me.

The city stole a piece of me

I have nothing left.