Hateful words or messages in the internet world, whether the perpetrator does it intentionally or unintentionally, in the end, it is like a knife that cuts straight into the heart of the victim. “Vivian” is a 17 year old girl who loves to dance.

Vivian's hobby is recording dance clips and posting them on social media.

certain

In the world of social media, if you make your posts public, anyone with a social media account can access your posts. And one thing that is inevitable is expressing opinions or

Comments  (

unless you have disabled the ability to comment on your posts), both from people you know and those you don't. If those words or messages come out well, they are considered good encouragement. But what if they come out in the opposite direction?

**Content has an impact on the mind. People who are feeling sad or depressed should not read.

**Content has an impact on the mind. People who are feeling sad or depressed should not read.

Inside a small square room, the only source of light came from a laptop screen. I sat still and looked at what was inside that square screen. For how long it has been, I cannot know. On the square screen was a clip I showed off my dancing skills and uploaded to my social media account two months ago.

but

What I'm really interested in is not me in the clip, but

Comments

separate

Those violent and hateful messages were printed beneath my clip. Surprisingly, it came from both people I knew and people I didn't know.

“That's funny.”

"horrible"

“What are you doing to her?”

“Will I go blind?”

“It's disgusting.”

and many more

Why?

Is it so wrong for me to do what I like?

I know that people have the right to express their opinions, but don't they think that some messages might hurt the feelings of the person receiving them?

Not only in social media but in the real world, I also received harsh words from my friends at school. From one person to another until it became many people, as if anyone who didn't do this to me would be condemned by my friends.

“Hey idol mom, show me your dance.”

“Seeing it quiet like this. Rhinos are the same as us."

I understand that humans are social creatures who need friends and don't want to act out of the ordinary and get kicked out of the group.

but

Will you follow everything society tells you to do?

If it was wrong, would you do it too?

Why don't you think about it a little before you act?

But it's not all bad because at least I still have one close friend who always protects and encourages me. I usually smile and say it's okay so as not to worry her, but on the inside it's the opposite.

I told my parents what had happened. But he saw what I was doing as nonsense and told me to stop doing it. He always said the same sentence when I told him about any problems: “Don't think too much about this” or “When you grow up, you'll have to face harder things.” I understood what Mom and Dad were trying to say. He considered my matter to be a small matter because he was once my age and had experienced a lot in his life.

But have you forgotten that I was never as old as you are now? So, would it be wrong if I said that it was a big deal to me right now? And your neglect is tantamount to hurting me.

Why do people ignore hurting each other and think it's normal?

After that, I chose to keep quiet because I knew that even if I spoke, it would be of no use.

The time each day passed was very slow. This accumulated and unrelieved pressure gradually changed me from a bright person to a person who had no idea what happiness was and always thought, Why do I have to go through something like this?

Did I really do something wrong? and

If it's true, am I really that wrong?

Why is everyone ignoring my pain?

Why have you abandoned me?

Comments

Those things still stuck in my head like a knife cutting into my heart and leaving a scar. I stopped practicing dance. Can't eat anything and can't sleep. It was so painful that the thought of living eventually faded.

People often say “No matter what, life must go on.” But for me, “The absence of life It would be better.”

And today I've made up my mind.

I opened my social media profile page before typing something in.

“I'm sorry, but I don't think I want to deal with this anymore.” I then turned to look at the medicine jar that sat next to the laptop and a glass of water.

I hope that the path I choose will free me from this suffering.

I picked up the jar of medicine and poured it into my little hand and carefully put it into my mouth one by one with tears flowing non-stop. Then he drank some water and climbed onto the bed, covering himself with a blanket.

Hopefully I can really sleep tonight.

Good night and goodbye, myself.

- finish -