[no subject]
No Subject
If it were you, would you choose to do what I did?
info
markjin / romance / angst
PG-13
2,400 words
a/n
It is recommended to read the topic and date.
too so you won't be confused.
- Jackson, a figure as outstanding as the main character
But it's 2% related haha.
all cradit to author - whalechild talk
This fic is from Jinyoung's point of view.
Open old letters in
inbox
Something like this
That is, there is no need for any description. Just read the message.
From one side, it still makes you feel this much, which is good, seeing the word "OK" makes you feel moved. That is, you don't have to say much.
Okay, so touching ;__;
JIN (진) - 너만 없다 (Gone)
Heaven & Hell
Welcome,
Jinyoung! (
pepi_jr@xmail.com)
Inbox
Subject:
I finally got it.
From: mtuan93
Date: 10
April 2012
You finally signed up for the email address I suggested. This is the first letter you've received from a real person, not an automated message.
Oh, I have something to tell you. I took your favorite old shirt and put out the fire in the kitchen.
P.S. Believe me, your email is definitely not useless!!!
Subject: Re:
I finally got it.
From: mtuan93
Date: 10
April 2012
Hey, don't be angry. Is my shirt on fire or is it on me? Choose it!!!!! Your shirt saved my life.
Subject:
Hey you idiot!!
From: mtuan93
Date: 16
April 2012
(2 attachments)Ø
Hey, you idiot, please print for me. My roommate broke my printer. It says using food coloring instead of printer ink would be good. I'm cursing him until my ears turn off. I let him keep it and dream that I continued cursing him in there.
Anyway, thank you.
Even though you're just an idiot.
Subject:
When will you
From: mtuan93
Date: 20
April 2012
My Chris Brown album. When will it be returned? This CD shelf tells me that I miss you so much. Rihanna was sitting alone on the CD shelf.
Seriously, when are you going to give it back?
It's not mine It belongs to my cousin, and she threatened to kill me. If you catch me lending it to someone else, it will be very cruel.
Subject:
I will kill you!!!
From: mtuan93
Date: 29
April 2012
Wait, the guy pretended to send the wrong link? Press to meet a screaming ghost. Come to me, is this a good idea? I almost punched the screen, you know? I hate you. I'm confused.
Is this revenge for burning my favorite shirt? Haha.
That's all. You can do just this.
Subject:
Party
From: mtuan93
Date: 11
May 2012
Will you come?
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 12
May 2012
We need to talk. About the things you said last night.
You talk or the alcohol talks, please call me.
I think a lot.
Subject:
Hey!
From: mtuan93
Date: 14
May 2012
I'm very glad you came today. The appointment was made last night. I have to talk to you about this.
I'm glad you told me your feelings. Because if you don't tell me first I wouldn't say I like you too.
Subject: Re:
Mark Tuan is my boyfriend.
From: mtuan93
Date: 17
May 2012
Sounds good.
Subject: Re:
Mark Tuan is my boyfriend.
From: mtuan93
Date: 17
May 2012
Shut up, I won't let you hold my hand in front of so many people.
Subject: Re:
Mark Tuan is my boyfriend.
From: mtuan93
Date: 17
May 2012
Shit, I won't kiss you either.
In public
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 27
June 2012
Hey, I haven't emailed you in a long time.
Maybe it's because you keep practicing in my dorm.
And is sitting next to me, hehe.
P.S. Send the popcorn quickly.
Subject:
how
From: mtuan93
Date: 12
June 2012
How is your family? I really miss my family. Luckily, I got to go home for the holidays, but the weather was just as bad as before. I really miss the weather in Korea.
My mom wants to meet you too, haha. So I laughed at her for a bit. And do you want to meet her?
P.S. I think I miss you.
P.S. 2 I love you.
Subject: Re:
how
From: mtuan93
Date: 13
July 2012
Don't think too much. They're not as fierce as I am, haha. Now my mom is laughing too. She said you're too cute for me haha.
Please call me, I miss your voice.
Subject:
Haha
From: mtuan93
Date: 15
July 2012
My parents love you already, haha. Maybe more than I do (just kidding). I'm sorry Mom keeps messing with your hair. (Even if we meet via video call) Mom is like that.
Are you excited about the new school semester? 555 I don't at all.
Subject: Re:
Haha
From: mtuan93
Date: 21
July 2012
Damn, why are you replying so late?
I'm not waiting at all....
Never mind, I'm going back to Korea next week. Be a good boyfriend Come pick me up at the airport, okay?
I love you.
Subject: Re:
Haha
From: mtuan93
Date: 22
July 2012
You didn't continue.
Wifi
How long has it been?
Korea was cut off
Wifi
Since when?
Anyway, I don't care how late you answer.
Please tell JB that he won't get a hat.
obey
I returned it because my brother had given it to the dogs to eat.
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 25
July 2012
See you tomorrow, asshole.
Subject:
verse
From: mtuan93
Date: 30
July 2012
I write on tissues when I'm on a plane. I never let you see. But now you can look at it.
If you laugh, we'll break up.
I call it Jinyoung's stupid smile.
I’ll always love the crinkles by your eyes
And the way they’re meant for me
I’ll never understand the reason why
But with you I don’t have to
I think I might be sick to my stomach
Whenever you’re not with me
But lately I’ve been thinking about you
And your smile that gets me through
I know these words don’t really seem like much
A thousand words can’t describe
The feeling I get whenever you smile
I don’t know what else to say
I could be a poet. This guy is really lucky. that has me as a lover
Subject: Re:
verse
From: mtuan93
Date: 31
July 2012
Don't even think about showing it to others.
I swear to you, if you do, I'll end your life.
Subject:
I'm sorry.
From: mtuan93
Date: 9
August 2012
I lost my phone. I'm so bored.
So how can I make haunting noises for you at night?
Please buy me a new phone.
My birthday is less than a month away. You should keep your money!!
Subject: 3
Already a month??? Is it true??
From: mtuan93
Date: 17
August 2012
I know I just called you on Youngjae's phone. But I don't have the courage to talk to you face to face. I'm sorry.
Happy three month anniversary
Wow, that's amazing.
Honestly, I don't think we've even been together for a month haha.
But you should know this. I've never been with someone for this long before. You must be really special.
...but why don't we do something special? In three months
You say so, but, uh, never mind, that sounds stupid.
Subject: Re: 3
It's been a month??? Is it true??
From: mtuan93
Date: 17
August 2012
I understand you're busy. Yes, I am too.
I'm fine, don't think too much.
And how is Thesis?
Subject:
Yo
From: mtuan93
Date: 21
August 2012
You didn't reply to the email I sent. And you still don't answer my phone? Actually, it's Youngjae's name. because I don't have a phone But are you really that busy?
For many days, I haven't seen you at all. You disappeared while I was in your dorm, fuck.
I miss you.
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 23
August 2012
I spent a lot of time with Jackson. He is much worse than you. I really don't know how to handle it.
Please come back to me. Is your research more important than mine?
Please answer my phone. I'm tired of talking to automatic answers.
At least call me back.
Subject: Re:(No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 25
August 2012
My heart felt like it would jump out of my chest and dance on the floor when I saw you replied to my email!!!!!!
Okay, it's not that big, but uh, really bad. Your research partner. It's very bad. But you'd be worse off for not paying any attention to your hot girlfriend. How long has it been since you contacted me?
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 30
August 2012
Please, I'm really thinking about it right now. JB said you didn't go to class yesterday. Including the day before
Where have you gone?
Please answer the phone. Damn it.
Subject: Re:(No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 1
September 2012
Holy shit, you suddenly disappeared from my life for two weeks. And then came back and said let's break up.
Plus tell via email? Wow, I thought you were even cooler. We wasted four months for what? Are you fooling each other? Fuck, at least I'm honest. I really loved you then, and of course still do now. We have known each other for three years. And I loved you for two and a half years.
It's funny, I thought you were the last one. I think we will love each other forever.
Do you know what's the worst part of your breakup letter? What's your reason?
“We are growing apart.”
I'm sorry, but I don't remember ever ignoring your phone. I don't remember ever calling you back when you were really worried. I'm not the one who disappeared from you. I'm not involved in any of this separation. And you dare to say that we're growing apart? No, you guys are far away. You disappeared before you even sent me that email.
“It's not your fault.”
This sentence is a lie. 'Cause it's my fault I'm not good enough for you. I'm not important enough for you.
My head is all messed up. My heart is breaking I can't even see what I'm typing. Everything is a blur.
Haha, why am I crying?
I can't take it anymore.
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 4
September 2012
I told myself I would never email you again. But today is my birthday. And you should know how fucked I am
All of this should be thanked to you.
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 4
September 2012
I told myself I would never email you again. But today is my birthday. And you should know how fucked I am
The second time.
All of this should be thanked to you.
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 9
September 2012
I still love you
Please come back.
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 10
September 2012
I miss you so much. It hurts so much.
Holy fuck, that's so bad.
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 12
September 2012
Why am I still here?
Please tell me, everything hurts now.
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 15
September 2012
I dreamed that everything that happened was just a dream.
I don't want to wake up at all.
Why do I have to wake up?
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 16
September 2012
Youngjae told me to forget you. If it were that easy, that would be great.
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 18
September 2012
So Youngjae took me to meet new people.
But I keep looking for you
You played me so hard, haha.
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 22
September 2012
I need to forget you.
But what should I do? Everywhere I look, I see only stupid faces. Your stuff is all over the place.
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 28
September 2012
Jackson kissed me last night. I don't know how to feel.
Please tell me, Jinyoung. What should I do?
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 30
September 2012
I decided to start over with Jackson. He said he liked me for a long time.
I might like him back. If I try hard enough
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 2
October 2012
Jackson is good. He makes me smile so often. He's more stupid than you.
I should stop liking stupid men.
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 12
September 2012
JB told me you disappeared?
I really thought it was me who disappeared before you.
Subject: (No Subject)
From: mtuan93
Date: 17
September 2012
I've decided This is the last time I'll email you. Because it seems like you probably won't reply to any of my emails.
It's been five months since today, but you chose to throw everything away.
Goodbye Jinyoung
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Yo
✓Subject: Re:3
Already a month??? Is it true??
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Already a month??? Is it true??
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I'm sorry.
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verse
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verse
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Haha
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Haha
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Haha
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how
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how
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✓Subject: Re:
Mark Tuan is my boyfriend.
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Mark Tuan is my boyfriend.
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Hey!
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Party
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I will kill you!!!
✓Subject:
When will you
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Hey you idiot!!
✓Subject: Re:
I finally got it.
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I finally got it.
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Subject: (No Subject)
To: mtuan93
Date: 1
September 2012
When hyung is here
LA
I discovered that I was suffering from a rare disease. They said it was incurable or something. He told me I was going to die. He can't even tell me how long I can live. Haha. I don't know. Mark hyung. I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. I love Mark. I love you so much.
But I don't want to leave Hyung like this. I don't want Hyung to have a dead boyfriend.
I can't tell hyung to my face. Because I'm afraid I won't be able to stand it. I'm afraid I'll fall down. standing in front of hyung I don't want my hyung to think I'm weak. But I'm really weak. I told my hyung via email.
I don't know. I can't even talk on the phone. I can't speak anymore. Hyung probably only heard the silence. Or the sound of sobbing
I'm not as strong as people think. I'm sorry for making you suffer the past two weeks, hyung. My parents insisted on sending me to the hospital. I really want to be with hyung very much...
I hid it because I thought it would be good for Mark hyung. But I don't know how to get through it without hyung by my side. How can you really do it?
Don't leave me. I know it's unfair that I'm not by his side and keep demanding he stay by my side. I really need a hyung. Hyung is the only thing that's best for me in life. I love hyung.
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