SF Sorry But I Love You [HUNBAEK]

“Brother Baek...I think we should go back to being brothers, right?”

“Hey...what did you say? It's not funny at all..."

"Hyung...I'm in enough pain. Please stop. In case it gets better than what we have today."

SF Sorry But I Love You [HUNBAEK]

“Brother Baek...I think we should go back to being brothers, right?”

“Hey...what did you say? It's not funny at all..."

"Hyung...I'm in enough pain. Please stop. In case it gets better than what we have today."

“Sehunna...”

“I have endured enough. I should be enough... let's be brothers. Let me go..."

“Brother...sorry, stop being angry at me. Tell me that this time you're just angry at me like last time. I won't do it again. Give me another chance. I didn't mean to. Sehun...please Please forgive me. Don't say things like this. It's not good. Don't say the word break up."

“I'm fine, but just say I'm sorry. Does your heart feel guilty too? I'm not kidding. I hurt...I endured, I cried, I was tired.”

"Huh...no...I'm sorry."

“That's enough, good person...”

"I've forgiven you, right?...We'll go back to the way things were before, right?"

“No...because I don't want to hear it from your mouth again. Go find someone better than me.”

Looking for someone better? Where can I find them?

If it wasn't you...Sehun

The loud chatter coming from the soju shop on the side of the road didn't bother Baekhyun in the slightest. The little man sat there in an unfocused state. Hold the soju bottle loosely and give it a spin. Slender eyes looked blankly at the liquor in the bottle. Bottle after bottle that had been ordered was piled up in front of him. Bottle after bottle of alcohol was poured into the mouth and through the parched throat.

The eyes were wet with clear water. My nose is irritated every time some feeling arises in my chest. If he was just a little careless...the thing that was floating around his eyes would probably fall down and make him suffer.

Today is our 1 year anniversary....that we broke up.

At that time, I really didn't know...that Sehun was telling the truth. I don't think that people who are willing to forgive him every time will decide firmly to leave him and never look back again. It was so sudden that my heart couldn't stand up a second time.

I still remember that picture well....

The other person's back was slipping away from him. The broad shoulders that were once resting on are disappearing....without being able to do anything about it.

There are only tears and the weakness of those who repent....in the days that are too late.

I know very well....why the morning sky It seems darker than every day that has passed.

I understand why tonight's moonlight is colder than I've ever felt.

No doubt, when I listen to love songs today, it's sadder than anything I've ever heard...

Not surprised by the feelings I'm facing right now.

But there is still one question. That I don't understand It's one question I still can't answer...

Pay for the soju before walking out of the store. Walking along the path aimlessly...Two slender hands tucked into the bag, searching for warmth. The weather is starting to get cold...In the past, there must have been someone's hand holding it to relieve the coldness.

“Sehunna...what are you doing right now?”

Full lips spoke unconsciously. Baekhyun was drunk...no, he wasn't drunk, he was still fully conscious. It's just that right now he doesn't want to hide his words or control his mind...let today be the day he wants to do everything according to his own feelings. Let the sadness, loneliness, nostalgia, and love be fully expressed.

Tired all year of hiding my tears behind a smile.

Try to act normally, don't care, don't stress, don't care, be hilarious, have fun, be the one who spreads smiles to make people around you happy.

If you've ever watched a comedy show...when the clown cries. You probably won't believe it. That he's really crying, that's it. Baekhyun is the person who creates smiles for everyone. When he's sad, no one will believe that he's sad.

It's a sadness that's sadder than anyone else's.

Baekhyun looked down at his left hand, which was hidden in his pocket. He glanced at the side of his body where there had been someone walking next to him before. He smiled at the slightly empty road beside him before lowering his eyes.

Now you're probably happy with someone new...someone better than he was then.

There is probably someone who can take better care of you...and not be good but make you sad again and again like this person.

How wide can you smile? Your laugh...is he able to make you happier than him?...is his embrace warm enough...when you're tired, he'll look at you and give you encouraging words like Baek. Has this Hyun ever done it for you... will he... be able to fulfill what you want?

Still keeping memories that were once bright When she was still here

I just realized how lonely it is to be alone. When she disappeared...

“Where have Baekhyun and Sehun gone? I haven't seen you guys together lately.”

“Ah...we had a fight, Kyungsoo.”

"Again, why do we fight so often?"

“Nothing much. It's just that Sehun doesn't like the fact that we hang out with Chanyeol often.”

“Sehun is so jealous. Chanyeol isn't your crush at all, Baekhyun. Besides, Sehun is already your boyfriend. Still jealous of something that doesn't make sense."

Because of love...that's why I'm jealous.

Because I'm interested...so I'm jealous.

Because we belong to each other That's why I don't want to be close to anyone.

Why wouldn't he understand....but because events took him that way? What should I do?

Baekhyun likes to make Sehun jealous...it seems like he's important.

But today....no one is jealous.

"When people ask for you...do you know what you have to go through...heh..."

Speak softly to the wind Little feet walk slowly, not in a hurry. Seju is slightly tilted because Seju has started to feel a bit confused. Just one laugh before turning to look at the park next to the road that was empty of people. I thought about going in to sit and rest but I didn't...my slender legs kept walking without stopping. The tips of his arms and legs became so cold that they all ached...but why were the corners of his eyes so hot?

When someone asks where you went...I don't know what to answer.

When you're not by my side... whoever asks for you, will you tell anyone what you're doing?

And you...if it were you If anyone asks you How will you answer Sehun?...

Living life without you feels a lot more difficult...

Pok...

Pok...

“Hey...Sehun, what did you throw at my room mirror? What if it breaks?”

Baekhyun opened the window of his room and found that the cause of the sound was downstairs. It's midnight, why are you still at his house? Even though they had actually separated since the evening.

*Do you remember what day it is today?*

A large piece of paper was raised above Sehun's head with a message on it. Baekhyun furrowed his brow tightly before shaking his head in response. What day?

"It's day 1. Why?"

Sehun sighed heavily before writing a message on a new piece of paper. Long arms raised it above his head again. It was a message that Baekhyun read that brought tears to his eyes.

*It's our 5 month anniversary, Auntie. Even though my aunt likes to be a flirt Talk to this person everywhere. Fat, short, many-hearted, too nice-natured. Whoever is close to me will fall in love with him. But what is mine? It belongs to me anyway. Stay with me. Don't be afraid that anyone will hurt you. Hold my hand and stay behind me. I'm definitely not leaving you, Fatty*

“Huh....damn. Are you going to scold me? ....I love you too. Sorry I don't remember..."

*Love Aunt Baek”

“Love Uncle Hoon...Auntie Baek's Uncle Hoon. Let's stay together until we're old. Haha."

This Baekhyun has never had anything good....never done anything to make his fans proud.

I never remember the anniversary of our relationship.

I never knew what he liked to eat or what he didn't like.

Take care of the people around you too much. To the point that sometimes I forget the time I spend with Sehun.

Very good at making Sehun angry every other day.

This Baekhyun is just a person with a bad personality...he hurts the people he loves over and over again.

Not all people are good people, not all bad people, Baekhyun is the same. He himself, before meeting Sehun, lived his life indifferently day by day. If you meet someone you like, then continue. If not, it's just one night in bed. Hot relationship In a moment, it fizzles out, not caring about anyone, and waking up depends on whoever it is. But not with Sehun...we started off as older brothers.

Getting closer and closer Until it becomes a bond Baekhyun didn't realize when Sehun had taken up space in his heart. Sehun doesn't know... since when did he love Baekhyun?

Even though people feel good about each other But then Baekhyun caused trouble...

“Baekhyun. Are you dating Chanyeol? Congratulations, haha."

“S...Sehun, I mean...hyung, I'm sorry, hyung...oh!!!!”

“Why are you apologizing to me? I didn't do anything wrong. It was me who was wrong...wrong for loving you. But I'm probably just a younger sibling. I'm dating Chanyeol now."

“At that time, I didn't know what I was thinking. I love you, but Chanyeol asked me to be his girlfriend. I myself agreed to play, not thinking it would be this big. Don't misunderstand me."

“It's not wrong. I'm just going to hang out with Chanyeol. I am on my own.”

"No, I love you. I'm going to break up with Chanyeol...and tomorrow we'll be together, Sehun."

Well, that's bad, Baekhyun.

Baekhyun and Sehun's story began after that. He broke up with Chanyeol even though they had only been dating for less than 24 hours. It's Baekhyun's fault. He wanted to apologize to Chanyeol for agreeing so thoughtlessly. He knew how Chanyeol felt about him. And he already loved Sehun. Only the damned mouth answered Chanyeol's request....

Chanyeol isn't wrong, neither is Sehun.

Whoever is wrong probably doesn't have to repeat himself.

It was probably because of his own insatiable love that caused everything to fall apart.

He himself is a person who needs love...attention from the people around him. Greed is never enough.

Maybe it wasn't time yet... so his punishment hadn't come yet.

Slender legs walking and kicking stones along the roadside....My head is empty and there is nothing. Picked up a pair of headphones and stuck them in one ear and opened a playlist to listen to music...the other earphone let it fall to the side.

Baekhyun used to hate it when he wore both headphones and a skilled person pulled them out and listened to one side.

But today I'm not used to wearing headphones on both sides.

Because of the other earphone...Sehun likes to always listen to music together.

Baekhyun is just getting used to... having his headphones plugged in in one ear and the other in a tall figure.

“You've spoiled my brother's behavior...terribly. Because you indulged me until I really became accustomed to it, Sehun.”

Sehun used to....

"Brother Baek, is it hot? I'll blow it for you."

"Brother Baek, are you hungry for ice cream? I'll go buy it for you."

"Brother Baek, give me your bag. I'll carry it for you."

"Brother Baek, it's raining. I have an umbrella. I'll take you home."

"Oh, enter."

“Would you like to ride on my back? I'm so sleepy that my eyes are closed."

"You can always call me if you have anything. Call me."

“Can you come back and take care of me again, you idiot!! Who told you how to take care of each other? Why did you say we'd be together forever? Where have you gone now? Why did you let me walk around alone? Why...why? Why did you leave me? You can't do this to me. Hey...I'm sorry. Can you come back to me?...I want to make amends again. I know that I'm not a good person. I know you're bad, but...

A bad person like you loves you..."

End of patience A clear voice shouted loudly until he was gasping for air. I don't care who walks by. I don't care where I am right now. Who is doing what? No strength at all...is this weak? Baekhyun who never cried for anyone before. Today, I even shouted like a crazy person to a person who didn't even know where he was.

Tears fell from her pretty eyes, rolling down her clear cheeks slowly, until finally... they dropped onto the floor as Baekhyun dropped to his knees, not having the strength to stand.

I want you to know that I really love you, Sehun. To this day, I still feel the same and has never faded away.

I don't care how dirty the clothes are. I don't care how expensive it is. I want to punish myself over and over for the mistakes I've made. With many things that make another person regret over and over again about their own inadequacy. Thinking about it, this punishment isn't even enough. Just because Sehun left him...it didn't even hurt half as much as he tortured Sehun.

“Baekhyun, who are you talking to on Line right now? Answer me honestly.”

"There's Kris, Chanyeol, Xiumin, Kyungsoo, Lay, etc."

"Oh...that's a lot."

“It's nothing. Don't think too much.”

“Then bring me the line so I can look at it.”

“It's going to be too much. I won't let you look at it."

“Brother Baek, where are you now?”

"We're studying together. Why?"

"With whom?"

“With Chanyeol.”

“Where are you?”

“At Chanyeol's house.”

“Why are you tutoring at Chanyeol's house? I also have one at my house. Why aren't you at home? I'm jealous."

“It's nothing. Just really tutoring.”

“Can you believe it? These eyes are going to eat each other happily.”

“Sehun, don't you trust me?”

“You can believe it.”

“Baekhyun hyung, why did you let Kris hug you?”

“It's just siblings hugging each other. Don't think too much, will you get it?”

“You are my boyfriend! Can you not think too much? No one wants their partner to be hugged by someone else.”

"I'm sorry, I won't do it again tomorrow."

“Uncle Baek, why did you kiss Suho unnie on the cheek? Do you still know that P is my girlfriend?”

"I'm sorry, but I didn't think anything of it."

“Sorry again. I didn't intend to anymore. I don't think of anything anymore. But my actions are not at all.”

“I really didn't think anything of it. I'm just friendly.”

“Can you please stop with this friendly personality? Can't you just talk like this to me? Is it very difficult?”

“You can't, Sehun. I already have a boyfriend. Are you going to make me change because of you? What will other people think?”

“Then do as you please.”

"I'm sorry. Let's reconcile. I'll try not to act like this again if you don't like it."

“Heh....”

“Brother Baek...the word "love" is yours. Are you using it excessively? Why did you tell everyone..."

“I love you all. But I don't love you like you. Don't misunderstand...."

“I don't like it when you tell people you love them. You've never felt my heart before. When will I stop? You already have me, are you still not satisfied?"

“It's not like that. I love him like a brother. Please help me understand.”

“Brothers? Have you ever asked them if they want to be brothers with you?”

“Sehun...come on. We've been arguing a lot. Let's not quarrel again.”

“Because of who? Go find someone else every other day.”

“Sehun!!! This world doesn't have just you. I have my own society. You have your own society.”

"Then just stay with your society. I don't care."

“Baekhyun hyung.”

“I'm sorry, I know. I went to sleep with Chanyeol. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

“Huh..”

“But I didn't think anything of him. Trust me."

Trust me.....

I have told him these words over and over again. And Sehun will forgive you every time. and trust him every time Baekhyun himself is trying to adapt and change himself for the better. He had never hugged another person before. Baekhyun never gave anyone sweet glances. Just bend according to habit. But Sehun.... probably didn't have any trust left in him that day. Choose not to trust Baekhyun anymore.

With people who have almost died trying to change their own habits...and people who close their hearts and refuse to listen to anything at all.

If anyone were to define loving each other between two people, it would be like two straight lines meeting in the middle.

After that...he asked for further definitions. A little longer and the two lines will pass past each other... never to meet again.

It's better to fight in parallel lines from the beginning...even if they never meet. But the two parallel lines continue to stretch side by side without disappearing anywhere.

Baekhyun raised his left arm and looked at the clock...

0.0 hrs.

Is it midnight already?...

Happy anniversary to the day we broke up, Sehun...

If you compare love to a novel...do you think it will end with the hero and heroine just loving each other?...

Real life isn't at all. It's more than that. That life after that is the real thing... can two people make it last or not? Will it be possible to make it not less or too much?

That's it.... Baekhyun's life is not as perfect as a novel. In the end, he and Sehun had to break up.

With a weary heart, I forced myself to get up and walk to sit on a nearby park bench.

Tears after tears fell from his eyes that were starting to turn red. How many months, how many days, how many seconds had passed that had not made him forget the person named Oh Sehun for once? Still missing him like crazy ever since he left. I understood that I had lost the most important thing at that time. If only he had changed himself sooner.

Don't try to cheat on the person who loves you the most at that time. Today, he might still have Sehun by his side... Sehun holding his hand.

I don't want anyone to see my weakness. Damn it.

It was a long time ago. Forget about it, Baekhyun. There are so many good people passing by, why don't you pay attention to them?

A small figure sat hugging his knees, burying his sweet face and tear marks on his knees. Hug yourself and sob until you are pitiful. I've always blamed myself. Since we broke up, I've always blamed myself. I understand that I am not good. I know it's very bad....but what should I do? Some habits he can't solve as he wishes. It takes time...

It felt like someone was sitting next to me.

But Baekhyun refused to look up and see who it was. I don't want anyone to see my weak tears.

“Why are you still here, Baekhyun hyung? Do you remember this bench that we used to sit on together often?”

A deep voice rang out, causing Baekhyun to sit still, not daring to even breathe. Slender eyes widened in shock and couldn't believe it. This voice is...that person. Yes, that person...

“...Se...Sehun”

Slowly raise your head to look at the person beside you. with bloodshot eyes A sharp, handsome face that I miss Now I'm not far from myself. Sehun looked at him with calm eyes...no trace of pity or emotion left in his eyes.

Sehun's eyes no longer reflected his image...

There was no Baekhyun in Sehun's black eyes anymore.

"Have you not forgotten yet?...It happened a long time ago."

The big man's deep voice spoke in a normal manner. Sehun acted like he was greeting and talking about the weather in general. It was different from another person whose heart was now pounding like a drum set in his chest.

I had never prepared myself before...never thought that I would meet again.

A year ago, Baekhyun had never seen Sehun since the day they broke up. Baekhyun tried to find Sehun but couldn't find him. Baekhyun tries to apologize to Sehun. But there was no response. Until Baekhyun finally admitted to himself that they really broke up. Sehun really broke up with Baekhyun that day...

“With someone I love...how can I forget it, Sehun?”

“I haven't forgotten about you. But I just don't love you anymore."

It hurts...hearing this hurts. It was as if someone had taken a knife and cut repeatedly all over my body...Is it only him who still feels love for the other person right now? Sehun doesn't love him anymore.

"return...."

“I think it's best to break up like this. I'm okay. I think you'll be better. You can now open your heart to accept new people...I'm really sorry that I can't be that person for you anymore. I probably don't have enough patience.”

“But I will try to improve myself. You know that I don't have anyone. I'm only serious about you."

“Seriously....but I never stop. So what value will it have? I came here today not to argue with you. But I came because...I still miss you. Even though I don't love you anymore. There are always good things about us. Not all bad.”

And with your feelings... how do you deal with them?

“Forget it, brother...you'll get better soon. Finding someone to take care of your heart isn't too difficult.”

“Please find me quickly. I have to go...take care of yourself, Baekhyun hyung.”

A hand came up and gently stroked Baekhyun's soft hair like God's goodbye. Baekhyun could only close his eyes and absorb as much of that touch as possible before it disappeared. Before the owner of this hand leaves again Baekhyun grabbed Sehun's arm tightly.

It's like some part of my heart still wants....

“Look...take care of yourself too, Sehun. I can only say this.”

Finishing his sentence, the small hand set Sehun's arm free. A forced smile was used again. This time, Sehun didn't smile back. He walked silently away from Baekhyun.

I want you to know that even people with bad habits feel quite a bit of pain on the day they hurt you. It was an attack that he couldn't control himself too. Didn't stab with a knife I didn't take the sword. But it was mental abuse....he himself knew it all along. But I can't stop myself. Can't help but act cute towards other people in order to receive love and affection.

He knew that Sehun would not be happy about this. But Sehun had always been patient...maybe Baekhyun had forgotten. That our patience has its limits.

And that day, Sehun's limits expired.

Today, Sehun walked away easily without a trace...

You must really make up your mind at some point....

I don't know if today or any day I will be able to accept it. One day, he will definitely be able to smile at Sehun again.

Love has many forms.....

Secretly in love, falling in love, loving each other, understanding each other, arguing in the end... breaking up.

To all forms of love...to all couples who are in love...

Thank you everyone for coming to read this short fiction.

That is, Wright wants to say that This fic is also Wright's true story.

I want to tell one person how much we are devastated by what happened.

Sorry for being a bad person Sorry for making you cry.

I want you to know that these people are equally sad....

This fic might be a little too long.

Enjoy Reading.