My First Love’s Present

First love is hard to forget. Do you think it's true?

For me, those stories

It really made me unforgettable.

The story began when I was in elementary school in a co-educational school in the provinces. I live my life no different from other girls. who come to school to study, play, and go home

I was quite as disciplined in my studies as the boy sitting next to me. His name is "Boy". Boy looks quiet compared to other boys. He often borrows erasers. and a pencil sharpener from me always We often work in the same group and seem to get along well. Because Boy is a good student and not mischievous. But that was only during class time.

Outside of school, Boy is like any other boy who likes to tease girls. It's strange that only one boy teased me. Boy found all sorts of ways to provoke me, including pulling my hair and kicking chair legs. When I have a suitable opportunity Boy will pull out a chair and run away. When I let myself sit Sometimes he would put chalk powder on the chair and stain my skirt.

I get angry every time, but I'm never really angry at Boy.

Until there were heavy rumors “Boys like sweet things.” The mischievous boys in the back of the room repeated these lines tirelessly over and over. I don't really get along with them. So I felt very angry and embarrassed. I don't know what to do to make them stop teasing me. So I tried to act as indifferent to Boy as possible.

Since that day, I haven't talked to Boy (nicely) again. I hurt Boy's feelings even though I feel good every time Boy is nice to me. Boy kept returning things I forgot at home, but I never came down to pick them up and thank him. In 5th grade, Boy secretly put a ribbon in my book bag on Valentine's Day. There was a piece of paper that said, “Boy gives sweetness.”

I took it back and wrote back: “Take it back. I don't want it!” Boy still put a Valentine's Day card in my bag like always.

I've been having a war of nerves with Boy ever since. Not knowing that I would never see Boy again. I studied Mathayom 1 at a provincial school. Meanwhile, Boy moved to study in Bangkok. I regret that I didn't speak nicely to him. and didn't say goodbye I never thought that my story with Boy would end this quickly.

There's nothing I can do other than wait patiently and hope that Boy will get back to his (old) friend like me sometime. And Boy didn't disappoint me. February 14th, when I was in Mathayom 2. Boy wrote a letter to me. Said he was fine and studying in Bangkok. I'm surprised and delighted. Intended to write a reply but Boy didn't fill in the sender's address??

And this was the last time I heard news from Boy.

From then on I think about Boy once a year, every Valentine's Day. I miss him but I never feel guilty. Until I received bad news that "P'Tae", a fellow student at the institute, died in a car accident because of an argument at home. P'Tae is another person who I treat like a boy.

This bad news makes me very sad. I don't know if it's because I'm sad about P'Tae's passing. Or do I feel guilty for being mean to P'Tae (maybe both). This incident made me miss and feel more guilty towards Boy.

I carried guilt for these two people for many years. For that one person, I could only ask for forgiveness. But for another person I really wish I could say I'm sorry to that person. So I tried to find Boy in every possible way. Both through acquaintances Telephone and Internet Even though I'm hopeless, I still haven't given up on searching. I do the same thing over and over again.

and ask nearby people to help

You probably want to know. In the end, did I find Boy? The answer is no. I couldn't find Boy. But I want you to open your birthday present with me.

There's something sweet about a 26th birthday.

When Boy is the one who finds me

We talked on MSN that day. There are many things going on in my head. Maybe because I'm afraid Boy will disappear again. So he hurriedly said what he had always wanted to say. Revealing the feelings in my heart this time was easier than ever. Maybe it was because I had to deal with guilt for a long time.

No matter how many times I ask Boy said there was nothing to forgive me for. It was an answer that took my heart into consideration. However, the first thing I said when I had the opportunity was “sorry”, sorry for staining Boy's childhood memories. I really couldn't help but ask. “Still a man, right?”

You don't hate women anymore, right?” (Maybe I'm thinking too much.) Boy still has the same polite thoughts towards me. Even though it came out and said “All the things I've done It's just making him confused and living his life for 14 years!”

Boy said that he has been looking for me all along as well. Even though Boy remembers my phone number and knows my house well. I assumed that Boy didn't dare call because he was afraid I wouldn't talk to him. And I didn't dare come to see me because I was afraid I wouldn't welcome him. Boy chose to add me to MSN because that gave him the courage to talk to me (a little).

Boy and I reminisced about the past (my girlfriend's days). We talked about the teachers we all missed. Position of study desks and classrooms Side dishes in the cafeteria Dessert shop in front of school Friends' nicknames Playing rubber jumps, picks and tops, including all the messes that have been made. I remember Boy being a curious person and always finding answers by experimenting.

When Boy wants to know how worms form So Boy didn't wait. Arrange to prepare boiled eggs from home. and put it in a closed box for one week. In fact, no one will criticize Boy at all. If Boy doesn't open that box while he's studying!!! The smell of Boy's rotten eggs caused the whole class to run in different directions. Chaos reigned in the room as the good scientist sat with a confused expression on his carton of rotten eggs.

Those stories made me and Boy smile nonstop. Even Boy felt that many things he did were stupid. And some of the things I did were cruel. But if I could turn back time Boy doesn't want to erase it from his life. Because it was a moment that made me and Boy smile together today. (Unlike me, if I could turn back time

I will treat Boy and P'Tae better.)

Boy said I was skinny and ugly when I was a kid. I just smiled and agreed. Even though I want to ask So what makes Boy do so many good things for a girl who doesn't look and behave like me? This is the only question I keep in my mind...

And then the wait is over. I have finally released the guilt that has been in my heart for a long time. The 26th birthday present was beyond my wildest dreams. Because I've found what I've been waiting for At the same time, I apologized to Boy and forgave myself. It was truly a wonderful start to the first year of adulthood.

At this point, I don't know what the next story will be. Just like in the past I can never predict what might happen. This might be the end of my wait. Or could it be the beginning of some story? I can't know

However, whatever This is my first love A story that no matter how many years pass I can never really forget it...

Completed (not) complete

(Maybe) there will be a next episode.

-one three one-

Big thanks to illustration from

 http://images.clipartof.com/small/27466-Clipart-Illustration-Of-A-White-Christmas-Present-Box-Wrapped-With-A-Red-Bow-And-Ribbon-Over-White.jpg

and

http://gotoknow.org/file/puisouyhansa/think.jpg