TRY (

try) love

Kim Taeyeon has a cute face and is a cheerful person. Get along easily with others

But there was something hidden beneath that cheerful face.

Jessica Jung, a beautiful girl with a cold face at first glance

I'm the only person who understands Kim Taeyeon. Always ready to be by your side

TRY (

try) love

“Look, Sika, thank you for still being my friend when I thought I had no one else. Thank you very much.”

I feel very grateful. Really grateful.

“Why do you say that, Tae? We're friends, so how can I leave Tae?”

Yes, we've been friends for a long time.

“I don't know, every time I have a problem. Every time I have something uncomfortable The only one who's with me, the one next to me

There's only Sika. Sometimes it makes me feel better.”

The only person who comforts me People who listen to every problem The person who stands by my side is you.

You're everything to me, maybe you don't know That you're more than that

You are more than a friend.

“Tae, is something bothering you? Can you tell me? If I am still someone you can trust.”

If I still have some meaning I hope you don't go back to the same way of thinking, Taeyeon. Stop thinking of yourself as no one. Stop thinking of yourself as no one understands. Most importantly, don't think like that again. Don't think of yourself as worthless.

You are the most precious to me.

“Sika, don't you know that Sica is the person I trust the most? Don't say that again.”

Sika, you know that you mean something to me, so why are you still saying this?

“Well, if that's the case, if I can still trust Tae. I'll wait for the day when Tae is ready to tell you. Then I'll go first. In case Tae wants to be alone.” Can I go first? Before anything you try to keep can't be kept anymore.

Yes, I am the person you trust, but why? Why did you choose not to tell me? I think I regret it now. I would have walked away if only there wasn't someone else's hand holding mine. Taeyeon looked at me with pleading eyes.

Then he pulled me to sit down in the same place.

“Sika, I'm sorry. Don't walk away from Tae again. Heck. If Sika goes another person, who will I have left? Heck. I won't have anyone left if I don't have Sika. Which I can't allow that to happen again. Don't leave Tae.” The words I called myself that I didn't say very often, I said at this time. I said through tears, I was really scared.

I'm afraid that Sika doesn't want to be with me. I'm afraid that Sica won't listen to me again. Am I too weak? Just the thought of Sica leaving, I couldn't bear it.

“Tae...why are you crying? I haven't gone anywhere. I'm right here.” This was another thing that shocked me. Taeyeon is always strong and I hardly ever see her cry unless it's something that really hits her hard. So what is this? Taeyeon is crying over me? Please don't cry.

I don't want to see your tears at all. Please don't cry. I don't know why I just want to comfort you. I just don't want this person to cry. So I pulled Taeyeon into a hug.

“Well Sica..I'm about to leave Tae. Sica, you can't stand seeing Tae like this, right?” Even though I was shocked, she suddenly pulled me into a hug, but it was only for a moment. It feels very warm. Is Sika hugging me? So isn't it wrong for me to hug you back? I just want to make sure it's true.

It's been a long time since I received a warm embrace like this.

“I didn't abandon Tae. But just thinking that maybe Taeyeon wants to be alone, maybe...." I didn't finish speaking and Taeyeon put a finger to my lips as if telling me to stop talking.

“I might have thought that before. In the past, I might have wanted to be alone. I'm afraid of getting to know and become attached to someone because in the end it won't last. In the end, I will still be alone. Just like it used to be I'm afraid of leaving. Afraid of separation, maybe I used to think like that.

But now I don't think so. Because I never thought I'd want to be alone again. Since Sika is there, it's already good. It's better than me being alone. Don't think like that again. I know that Sika was hurt that I didn't say anything to Sika. And I'm sorry for making Sica feel that way.

I just thought about how I would say it. Well, I'm a strong person, everyone says so but... Who will believe the story that I think? If only...." Yes, I told you, who will believe it? I told you, who would think of understanding someone like me?

“Tae, how long have we known each other? How is Tae like? Why don't I know? Tan is not a strong person at all. Instead, you're so sensitive you'll die. Tae, as everyone knows, always acts cheerful, fun, and doesn't think about anything. He can do whatever he wants. Which I really don't like. But the one I know under a cheerful expression That's fun.

Tae is a person who always has something to hide. The Tae I know cries easily over anything that upsets him, even if it's not his own. Even so, have I ever said that instead? He is a stubborn and quiet person. It's very stubborn. Sometimes Tae is stubborn. Too stubborn No matter what But I like it.

Sometimes I want Tae to show what he really is. I always feel uncomfortable for Tae when I see him not being himself. How long will Tae keep doing this?”

This is the person who knows me best. You know me better than anyone, "Jessica Jung." Because of this, I want to be with you.

“But Sica, you know I can't do that. Look, look at everyone around me. Look at the look in their eyes. There are expectations and hopes. How can I destroy those things? Sika, what I am is what I want to express as well. But there won't be anyone who's ready to understand me.

There won't be anyone who is ready to understand people like me like "Sika" does. Sika understands, right? That there will never be a day when even the person I want to understand the most, I believe, is ready to not. understand me Maybe me being like this is a good thing. live for others

Do what he wants you to do. It's what he wants it to be, I think....”

“How can it go well, Tae? Well, now look at Tae. The Tae I see here is the Tae who is not happy at all. Aren't you tired of doing what other people want you to do? You have to be what other people want you to be. I know Tae is tired. Maybe Tae needs to take a break. For Tae, it could be anything. But now I want to see Tae be what Tae wants to be.

You can see that Tae is not happy. Be what we want to be It's best to do what we want to do. Well, life isn't very long. Moreover, life is real. You can choose for yourself, trust me.”

Yes, sometimes Tae has to follow his own desires. It hurts me every time I see you like this.

Are you tired? Sica asked me if I'm not tired at all. I'm tired. I'm very tired, Sica.

But can I really choose?

“Not at all, Sica. Even though Tae once thought that this is our life. Can't we choose anything ourselves?

But I can only think. Because maybe Tae hasn't been able to choose anything for a long time. Tae couldn't choose anything. Sometimes Tae wants to go left but someone forces him to go the other way. Live the life that you want Tae to have. I think it would be very happy. What did Tae ever do? Tae wants to do it, it's very happy.” Anything that allows me to get to know you makes me happy, Jessica.

“I want to see Tae smile like this every day. Whatever Tae ever did would make Tae very happy.

Look at Tae now.”

It must be something that makes her very happy, right? Look at her eyes, they're so sparkling.

Look at that smile, I really like it.

“Well, I'm very happy. Sika, do you want to know what it is about?” But even if Sika wanted to know, sometimes I wouldn't be able to tell her. How can I tell you?

“I think I know, Tae. I know it by feeling.” I'm just waiting for when you'll have the courage. Dare to say it out loud. Will there ever be that day?

“But Tae, maybe why don't you try telling me what you want to do? And I want to be Tae has a family that bakes....”

“Sika can't imagine how Tae grew up. It's so warm, so warm.” Yes, it used to be warm. It was just a soft voice that came out at the end of the sentence. But it probably isn't light enough. Jessica heard every sentence.

“Tae” I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have said it. I should have thought about it before saying it. I should have thought that this was the only thing that would make Taeyeon like this. Taeyeon is really sensitive about this one thing. So, is the story that Tae didn't tell me related to this? I probably can't do anything else. “Tae..I beg you.”

“Why would Sika come to apologize to Tae? It's really strange, what did you do wrong?" Smiling, smiling like that again. I know how you feel but you can still smile and show it. That's how I feel. How long will this be like this?

“Tae, don't act like it's nothing, okay? You know, every time I see Tae like this, I, I, I'm sad.

I feel hurt even though you act like nothing happened. But Tae knows, doesn't he that I know? And because of this That's why I don't like it when Tae acts like nothing happened. Can't you express it? It's your feelings.

How long will Tae be like this? Is Tae the only one who has to suffer? Is it only Tae who does what he wants?

I can't.” I can't take it anymore. When, when will Taeyeon stop doing this?

“Sika...Sika, don't do this, don't do this. Sica knows that Tae doesn't want it to be like this. And what will Sica want Tae to do? Tae can't do anything. we feel the same Why doesn't Tae know but Tae can't do that? Sica understands Tae, right? Why did Sika say she understands Tae? Sica, don't cry.

Tae doesn't want to see Sica like this. Sica, Tae is sorry.” So what can I do? I don't want to see you cry. So what should I do? And because I don't know what to do, I let my brain think first. But right now, she just wanted to do what her heart wanted. She pulled Jessica into a comforting hug. Because I don't want to see this person cry again.

I don't want it anymore, I don't want to see it anymore. Then I did something I never thought of before. I slowly moved my face towards Jessica's. Until you can feel the warm breath My lips slowly touched Jessica's same member, it was just a soft kiss. But it made my heart beat so fast. It was only a few seconds but to me it was like that moment was so long. I wanted time to stop here, to stop where I am. I can do what I want but I know it's impossible. And then I slowly

His lips came out but his face didn't leave Jessica's face. Jessica seemed shocked by what I had done just now, her face turning red. Then I realized that I should move away from Jessica. I want to say that I was shocked by what I did as well. But I didn't know what to do. I saw that Jessica was sad and there was a strange pain in the left side of my chest, so I, uh, did the same thing as before.

And because I didn't know what to say, I did.

“Sika...I'm, uh, sorry.” Will Sika forgive me? Look at her face, it doesn't show any emotion.

I'm afraid, Sica.

“I'm..happy,” Jessica finally replied.

“Huh, Sika, what did you say?” How can I not be startled? I'm scared to death. But if you heard it correctly, Sika said that she was happy.

What's the matter?

"I said I'm happy," Jessica repeated.

"Sika, I'm happy. What are you happy about? It's about me, uh.." I said it myself, blushing myself. Take it in.

“It's not Taeyeon, it's not like that.” Jessica also looked red. But it's cute. I really like it. I've never seen it before.

Sica is like this.

“When I say I'm happy, I'm happy. That Tae dared to follow his own wishes. Aren't you afraid of what Tae is? I'm not angry at Tae for what Tae did just now. Because I feel the same as Tae.”

“Sika, but Tae doesn't know what to do. What should I do?” I am very confused. Now I don't know anything.

I don't know what to do.

I would follow others and let the love I just opened up to slip away. Or will I hold on to this thing called love? Then just follow your heart. What should I do?

“Tae, you don't have to do anything. Tae doesn't have to do anything. This is good enough. For people who have never thought of opening their hearts to anyone. I know Tae is afraid. Tae is afraid of pain. Tae is afraid of love. So just let it be like this, Taeyeon. I understand.” I always understand you, Taeyeon.

“I know you always understand me. Thank you, Sika.” Hey, what can I expect from you, Taeyeon? I know that you must not fulfill your own desires. So how can I say that I understand? And because I never expected it, I didn't think that she would.....

“But I won't let it happen again. I would like to follow my heart for once. I want to live my life in my own way as well. So I will follow the voice of my heart.” Yes, this time I will follow my heart for once. She was right about what she had done. Being what we want is the happiest.

I'll give it a try. Even if other people look at me, I won't care anymore. Just this one time that I get to do what I want. Just this one time, no one will be able to force me. Just this one time, even if no one understands what I've decided, it's okay. You don't have to understand.

I don't need any more understanding. Just having someone who is ready to understand me. Being next to me like this would probably be better. I made this decision well, right? Will it really be good? It's really good, isn't it, Jessica?

"Tae" I can really say this. I don't think. Taeyeon will indulge herself. People like Taeyeon who always do things for others. I'm very happy. The two of us looked at each other. Then I hugged Taeyeon. I hope Taeyeon is as happy as I am.

We hugged each other for a long time, then I pulled away from Jessica. I turned my head to look at the river in front of where we were sitting. I was thinking about whether or not I should tell Jessica. But I'd say it probably doesn't matter. It would be nice to have some people know our story. Well, when I chose to open my heart This is another matter that I don't want to shut out Jessica.

“But before Tae does what he wants, Tae has a story to tell Sica. Sica, do you want to listen?” I had made up my mind since Sika was someone I trusted. And most trustworthy, this matter probably doesn't matter.

“A story, Tae? Tae wants to tell a story, Sika wants to hear it too.” I have a feeling that the “story” she is about to tell isn't just a story. What do you want to tell me? I'm always happy to listen to you, Taeyeon.

“There isn't much to this story, Sica. Don't expect too much from it. It's the story of one girl's life. That girl was very enviable when she was young. She had a warm family. Really very warm Now that I'm telling you, I'm jealous of you." Taeyeon, are you really jealous of that kid? But looking at her eyes, it doesn't look like someone who's envious. It's more like she's happy like that kid."

That girl received a lot of love and every day was very happy. Every day before going to bed, the girl kissed her mother on the cheek and told her she loved her. Her mother kissed her on the cheek and said goodnight to her and hugged her. She felt very warm at that time, I think. If only her happy days weren't always happy.

That child keeps growing up. The warmth you received seems to be slowly decreasing.” Taeyeon was sad, I could feel it. “That child must have seen things he didn't want to see. I don't think that kid could accept it. She saw things that no child or adult would want to see. Her happiness had decreased since seeing her father and mother fighting.

It wouldn't have been so severe if alcohol hadn't been the trigger. That girl cries while her parents argue. Physically harm each other She went in to stop her father from hurting her mother. But she is the one who gets hurt every time. Every time she would see her mother crying. Then she would cry along with her mother. “Taeyeon, I really can't believe it, that's all about you, right?”

Just seeing it for the first time caused a wound in my heart. But that child saw it very often and every time she had to go in and stop it, it was the same thing. She was hurt, hurt, and could only cry as usual. No one cared about that child's feelings, how it would feel to watch his father and mother fight and beat each other.

Until it seemed like it was normal. As the days went by, the child grew accustomed to it. She didn't go in and stop her like before. She chose to just sit and watch. Then he walked into his own room. But that child has another idea. She hates violence, and most importantly, she hates "men." I think this matter must have been deeply imprinted on that child.

Sika, have you ever heard that some things are ingrained in our hearts and have a long-term influence on us? But this girl never blames anyone for making her like this. She blamed herself. It was herself who made herself like this. “Taeyeon was hurt, right? Is Taeyeon sad? “That child doesn't act the same way again. She doesn't show her love for her mother and father like she used to.

She doesn't kiss and say goodnight before bed as usual. She began to show no love to anyone. She keeps growing up Things around us easily distract us. But she didn't do that. Her reason probably is that she doesn't want the people she loves to be sad, so she never does anything out of the ordinary.

Even though I think that if she did it, she would have a reason to claim it. For example, she is a problem child. something like that But if you don't do it, it's fine. She didn't want herself to regret what she had done later. And I don't want anyone to be disappointed in her either. A family that other people consider warm isn't warm at all.

I'm thinking about how that kid made it through that time. What do you say, Sika?”

“Taeyeon” was just a very soft voice calling her name. Taeyeon continues to tell “her” stories.

“That child keeps growing. It's your turn to choose your own path. You have to choose what you want to do, what you want to be, but Sika, do you think that child is worthy of sympathy? She can't choose for herself. Because only you choose She can see who will regret her choice. The reason for the adults is that they are afraid that the child will not succeed. So what? That child?

You have to choose things that you don't like at all. But she had to do as the adults chose for her because she thought that she couldn't make other people sad, she couldn't let them be disappointed with her. I don't think that kid is happy. Think about it, every path you want to take has been marked out. Even though it wasn't warm, it wouldn't be any worse than this, the child thought.

But that kid was wrong and it could still be worse. From the fact that every time I come home I get to see my parents. She didn't meet. They always come back after she goes to bed. You're home alone. You're lonely. You have no one. Sika, think about how a child who used to live with a family and one day finds himself alone, how will that child feel? "Lonely.

Are you lonely? Is Taeyeon lonely? I understand Taeyeon more than before. “That's why the boy started to lose interest in his surroundings. She continues to do her part in something she didn't choose. But she is still proud of how well she did it. You don't need anyone to admire you. You don't hope anymore. Sica, do you believe it?

As time went on, the child began to block out her feelings. Before, the child would attach herself to everyone she knew. She will be both worried and happy when she meets those people. But right now the child thought only that It's okay, I can be alone. I have to do it. Connecting my heart with someone else's hurts that child.

I think it was done to protect myself. In the end, that child seemed like an indifferent person. I'm not interested in anyone else. But she still acts as cheerful as before. No one noticed the change. Or is it because no one is interested? But for some unknown reason, that child must feel pressure all the time.

Everyone always pinned their hopes on that child and said, “You can do it, I believe you.” “You can do it.” Damn, it's nice to have expectations, right? But this is too much. That child had always thought of not believing in herself at all, since she had never believed in herself that she could do it.

She gets uncomfortable every time someone has expectations of her. Because if you can't do it, others will be disappointed. Sica, remember that if we love someone We hope for him. Just hope is enough, but don't expect too much from him. It will make him uncomfortable.” Taeyeon turned to smile at me, but I really couldn't smile.

The things I just learned were too heavy. How did Taeyeon get through it? I felt so guilty for saying that Taeyeon wasn't the only one who couldn't do what she wanted. But this is already too much. She couldn't help but smile at Taeyeon. Can't really do like Taeyeon.

“But that kid was lucky to meet another woman. From the fact that she didn't think of opening up to anyone because she was afraid of commitment. Afraid of commitment afraid of being hurt But when we're near and talking, she and I feel good. feel happy That woman, although her face was stern and cold at first glance,

But she's very charming. Once we really got to know each other Those things are just masks, after all. I think that boy would be very sad if he didn't get to know this cold woman that day.” Did I, Taeyeon, mean me? If so, it's only been 2-3 years. This is the past. I feel tight in my face again. I don't know why.

Taeyeon went through something like that for 19 years? “That woman makes girls stop blaming themselves. Stop thinking that no one understands because somehow there is still this cold woman who will understand you. Stop thinking that you have no one because you still have this woman beside you all the time.

And then stop thinking yourself....worthless. Because that woman always said she was the most valuable. The child gradually opened his heart to accept this cold woman into his heart. But because she knows that no one will accept her like this, no one will understand the way she has chosen. That girl never thought of saying anything.

You still have to follow other people all the time, acting like you're a ball, letting this person kick you this way and this person kick you that way, it hurts too, even though she really wants to tell everyone that Can I please let you be yourself for once? Finally, she thought that since this would be the only thing that would make her happy, could I please?

I want you to do your own thing for once. May you be able to seize this love? The only happiness that you will have Then she decided that she should accept this love because it wasn't often that love came to her. She will spend all her time making others understand her. Accepting who she is, she will get through it with that cold woman.

Just give her one chance. The story of that girl is over, it's over just like this, Sica. You see, there's nothing interesting. Hey, Sica, what's the matter?" Jessica suddenly hugged me so tightly that I could hardly breathe. Ka is crying. Jessica is crying.

“Why are you crying? It's just a story. It's not that sad.” Yes, it's just a story. But that story is your life, Taeyeon. I made the wrong decision that I love you. It was just a moment of silence and it was Taeyeon who spoke first.

“Osika, that girl, asked me to tell you “I love you.” What do you say?” Taeyeon finally said.

“Then I'll ask Tae to tell that kid. This cold woman "Love" you too. It's not shameful for us to express our feelings. Well, when we love each other

“Sika, Tae won't promise that Tae will love Sika forever because Tae doesn't believe that there can be anything that is forever. But Tae can say that just every day, Tae will love Sika the best he can, and will love him like Sica loves Tae.”

"Um, me too. I'll do the same. I'll do the same as Tae."

I don't know what I'll be going through again, but I only know that Every day I have Sica next to me. No matter what problems you encounter, I believe "We" will get through this together. No matter if there is anyone who can think of a reason for this form of love between me and Sika. I probably couldn't explain it to him because love is a matter of the heart.

It's a matter of feeling. The reason is probably not necessary. But let me beg you to understand. Please understand my love. I probably won't be able to do it again. But all I can do is prove that my choice It's not any different from the type of love you guys have. If you guys are in love, I hope you guys can open up and understand the feelings that Jessica and I have for each other.

Finally, I want to tell you all, try, try to love, don't be afraid that you will regret it, don't be afraid of something that hasn't come yet, you may not be as lucky as me. But at least even if you're sad, you'll still get to know love. If you're afraid you'll regret it, you might miss the chance to find your love. I warned you

It's over, everyone. This is the first story we wrote. And it's probably the only thing I wrote.

I don't know what to wear. Thank you to everyone who came to read.