for

luhan and kim minseok

It’s not by chances

I still found you, safe and sound,

behind the noises.

With a feeling of honor to be involved in this project.

Although this time may be difficult for many to get through,

Let's try together. Please wait a bit :)

>>author's note<<

@deeerlings

#LMchbLove #kldscopic

Behind the Static

by fallspices

'hello... You have reached the autoresponder... Please hang up.'

The young man stood still, raising his eyebrows at the thin phone in his hand. This call came in a few minutes ago amidst people milling about and trying to get past the conveyor belt to pick up their luggage. Due to the chaos, he couldn't answer in time, but when he called back, he was met with a strange message like this.

After that, there was no normal notification sound for callers to leave a voice message. He shrugged and quickly stuffed it back into his pocket when he realized he was standing in the way of others.

“We meet again, Hankuk,” the young man muttered to himself, the smile still not fading from his face and breathing in the fresh summer air and the many memories that replayed behind his eyelids. A thin figure swept his eyes over the group of people standing in the arrivals hall. It didn't take him long to find the waving hands and the cries.

“Luhan!”

“Not too long until we meet again, Junmyeon.” He hurriedly dragged his bag towards his old high school friend, who pulled his arms into each other's shoulders affectionately.

If it weren't for the coincidence of meeting Junmyeon in Germany while he was collecting points for his world tour. Luhan probably wouldn't have been able to sit and reminisce with his old friends over a cup of hot, fragrant coffee like this, even though there was only the language and atmosphere around him that he was familiar with. Luhan felt as if he had just stepped foot on this land for the first time. Of course, the quiet suburbs of the past are nothing compared to the bustle of Seoul.

“I have already contacted the hospital and apartment. You can call again.” Junmyeon handed him a piece of paper with two numbers written on it. He took it and recorded it on his mobile phone. His fingers froze for a moment when he saw the strange caller number from earlier. Luhan swept his doubts aside. Then he prepared to head to his new home.

When Junmyeon invited him to come back to Korea. Luhan could only wait for this turning point in his life. The time in between was just a blur that couldn't be put together properly. Until he was standing in a small studio near his office. Many questions came in waves. How long will it take him to find stability in his new life?

It may take a year or many years. And what kind of people will come into your life? He doesn't know. But these thoughts made Luhan recall the words of someone—when we were young and free and dreamy—with sparkling and innocent eyes.

'What's the use of just assuming? Luhan is thinking too much. Now is the important thing'

And Luhan thought he might be right.

'Hello, you who called this number. This is an automated answering system. Please hang up.'

Maybe it's curiosity. Or because encountering something different from the norm caused Luhan's curiosity to skyrocket. He called that number two days later. It was late afternoon. On a large, inexpensive leather chair from an antique store. If this time the sound heard wasn't out of tune.

Of boys like in the first place Even though it was heard through the modification of the sound waves of the telephone line and the crackling tone—as if the speaker was trying very hard to squeeze out each word—the texture of the sound when first heard was pleasing to the ear and one couldn't help but think of the sound. What would this be like if you could hear it without the telephone waves blocking it?

The smooth synthetic sound disappointed him a bit. But the change in message made Luhan even more surprised. Having not expected this kind of interaction before. He smiled unconsciously and pressed the record number under the name '

Pretty Static’

'hello... No matter who you are... This is an automated answering system. Please hang up.'

The owner of the number was aware of Luhan's incoming call. What went from being a small mistake at first became intentional. Are you playing hide and seek or what? A knock at the door interrupted his train of thought, and the person on the other side of the door invited himself in without even giving his permission.

“Dr. Lu, stop staring at your phone and smiling all by yourself, it's creepy.” A young man appeared between the doorways with narrowed eyes and no nonsense. Luhan shrugged and turned around in his leather chair to face a tall, tan nurse named Jongin. He began to think that he shouldn't have walked in and asked for directions that day. If I had known beforehand that this guy would spiral.

"Did you get the number of the girl you like? Eh, or are you a nurse around here?” Jongin teased with small eyes.

“Never mind me, but it's break time. Is there something urgent?” Luhan said non-seriously and tapped the clock face for a while. To convey that his break time still had twenty minutes left.

"There's a little patient waiting."

Luhan nodded before picking up the gown that was laying on the chair and putting it on without saying another word. Because this isn't the first time he's been followed after hours. He just has a small job that goes beyond the scope of a normal psychiatrist's position (Luhan even admits that he likes working with children more than adults).

Both hands slowly Slowly changing shape and synchronizing with the movements of the mouth. In order to convey the message as clearly as possible to a small boy of about nine years old, his cheeks were round and red from a fever, but he tried to nod hesitantly to accept the advice while still sniffling from difficulty breathing.

Luhan raised his hand and gently caressed the child's head. before scooping him up from the bed He watched the tiny patient run around. Smiling, he entered his mother's arms before following the couple out of the examination room.

With the break time coming to an end Luhan also refused the help of a passing nurse and went straight to ordering coffee himself. He stood and waited patiently until he saw something out of the corner of his eye. A young boy in an oversized navy hooded sweatshirt walked through the sliding doors and stood still.

The hood that covered his head and his brown facial hair were so long that it fell over his face to obscure his expression. You can only see the lines of white teeth that are biting the thin lips, threatening to split. But after a while, the little figure turned on his heel and walked quickly out of the building. He could easily guess that this kid must have something to do here.

But what problems there are is difficult to predict. Luhan shrugged to himself before turning to get the hot coffee he had ordered, and it made him forget what he had experienced in no time.

(behind the static)

Leather shoes made a dull sound as they hit the sturdy, shiny wooden floor. The surroundings were so quiet that you could hear the ticking of the second hand on the clock that was hung high on the marble pillar of the second floor balcony. Luhan glanced at the large bookshelves that were lined up in long rows. Look for the category you want according to the white label on the side of the cabinet.

The atmosphere in the district library during the day is very calm and quiet because it is a weekday. There were only a handful of students and elderly people who came to pass the time in the cool air from the air conditioner and enjoy the atmosphere of the unique smell of the old paper gathered here.

Luhan tends to use this place as a place to relax rather than hang out. His preference for calm probably comes with age, as he begins to adjust to his new time and work environment. Although not as specialized as he used to be, he is helpful when encountering patients who are not normal or have communication problems.

If because of his uncertain schedule he still hasn't had a chance to contact Junmyeon about his other friends. which would have all dispersed and dispersed Luhan had to admit that he himself could not remember a few of them. But if we get to meet each other one day, it would be good.

He turned into the corridor between the tall bookshelves of the literature section to find something uplifting to read. Like a good classic novel, Luhan squatted down. and calmly used his index finger to look at the spine of the book. Just as he was about to pull out a book His elbow crashed into something solid and something fell down, hitting his back with a loud thud.

The young man groaned in his throat and raised his hand to lightly rub the aching part. At the end of his vision, he saw the damn book lying on the floor next to him. Staircase made of wood Followed by a pair of ragged white sneakers that hurriedly stepped down. He looked up when he felt the creature kneel beside him. The face that looked down made Luhan's mouth shut.

"excuse me"

Luhan blinked a few times. Meanwhile, the person's lips moved slowly into three words so that the viewer could clearly understand the meaning, and it was very easy for him who knew how to read lips well. He wouldn't have been so quiet if the other party wasn't wearing a navy blue hoodie like the sky on a dark night and had the same hair color as the person he saw at the hospital a week ago.

And maybe he wasn't as childish as he understood.) The hand that swept across his face pulled him out of his thoughts and sitting staring at other people's faces made him look unmannered. Luhan ruffled the hair on the back of his neck to relieve his embarrassment after reading the other person's lips again. Why don't you say it?

“Is something wrong?”

"Yes–er, no, I'm fine."

Luhan whispered and picked up the book that had fallen next to his feet and handed it to him. The other person stretched out his free hand with a smile, and Luhan tried to suppress the feeling of emptiness in his stomach before grabbing the soft (and surprisingly small enough to fit his hand) hand that helped him up. But not before the little figure could climb up the stairs again.

Luhan grabbed the end of the sleeve of the large hoodie first. Damn it, his body moved on its own.

"Uh… I was wondering if you could help me find a book–"

Luhan could only curse himself in his heart for speaking without even a little analysis. But the other person didn't seem to object to the request. A light smile appeared on his white face again and he raised his index finger to indicate to wait. He looked at the back quickly. Turning away from between the bookshelves, he wondered if he was the right person to ask for help.

If Luhan didn't misunderstand something. Looking at the situation, it should be possible to help him...

Not long after, the other party walked back with a middle-aged woman who immediately asked what book they were looking for. Once again, Luhan made a mistake and blurted out the name of the book that came to mind first. She nodded and then held out her hand, inviting him to follow. before slowly turning out of the alley between the bookshelves. The last thing he saw was the small of his back and slumped shoulders.

Luhan sat down on the table with a drowsy face. He rested one arm on the table and flipped through the pages of a thick textbook that he had read countless times. I don't have the slightest bit of interest in it. Luhan thought back to the other party's incident at the hospital that day. But the normal smile on his youthful face made the question swallow his throat.

With the boredom that came to cover So he pulled his cell phone out of his pants pocket. Even if it calls for some strange looks From people passing by However, the number he was about to call didn't require a response.

This time the message was unchanged. Luhan closed the textbook and raised his fingers to massage his temples. Since when did he start acting so obsessive about something? He glanced at the literature section again before taking the large book and putting it back away. I hope to try to approach it again to get a better idea.

He had to slow his pace because this time the little man was prowling the books downstairs. Luhan glanced left and right before slowly He stepped forward and squatted down on his side, his fingertips gently nudging the other person. But it even made him flinch and twist his body in shock. His thin lips fell open as his sudden movement caused him to lose his balance.

Luckily, Luhan was able to grab his upper arm and pull him out before he really fell backwards. and be able to balance so as not to cause both of them to fall.

“Ah, sorry… I just wanted to talk to you.”

Luhan could only apologize in a teasing voice. He became even more upset when the other person removed his hand and turned away. He suppressed a moan in his throat and raised his hand to caress his face vigorously. That was great. Where had all his skill at making an impression gone? If a twitch in your sleeve makes you lower your hand to look at the person next to you.

“I can't speak.”

A pair of beautiful eyes remained unblinking as they focused on the lips that were moving to form words—two small hands raised to cross each other in the middle of their chests as they shook their heads—followed by a small, almost imperceptible smile. The silence spread as it should. His thin lips pressed into a tight line before he stood up. Luhan hurriedly got up and blocked the way of the owner of the eyes narrowing in confusion.

He smiled and pointed his right thumb towards himself. before raising his hand to the side of his face, clenching it with the back of his hand facing away The tip of the index finger touches the thumb and snaps straight up.

“But I understand you.”

His eyes, which were already large, became even bigger. A surprised expression formed on his face, causing Luhan to laugh softly.

"My name is Luhan. I'm Chinese. And you?"

After Luhan took a moment to read the other person's lips and pronounce the words, He tilted his head slightly. When the person sitting on the wooden steps shook his head again, In the end, the other person had to spell it out for you to see: Xiu...Min?

“Do you have a Chinese name?”

Xiumin nodded dazedly. “Someone once set it up for me. Well, you are Chinese.”

“Okay, Xiumin.” Luhan smiled widely and made sign language back while moving his mouth to follow the sentence. “It looks like I saw you at the hospital last week. Can I help with anything?”

The person in front of him looked a little disconcerted but shook his head gently. It's a simple signal. that I didn't want to talk about it Luhan knew the cue from the other party's expression and decided not to bother any further.

"If there's anything I can help with, just tell me. Is it a good idea to come by often? You'll have friends to talk to."

Xiumin laughed soundlessly before holding up a thin book that was on the steps to look at. “I'm not very good at books. But I am going to read this.”

Nicholas Sparks Luhan narrowed his eyes at the author's name and raised his eyebrows. before looking at the other person with a bright smile “Do you like romantic love?”

A timid smile appeared on his younger-looking face and Luhan found it difficult to look away.

“Why does it seem like everyone reads Nicholas Sparks novels?” Luhan muttered to himself as he took the book out of his small hand and flipped it over. (And he couldn't help but bark at it.)

‘The Notebook’

It is probably a story that should be familiar to people halfway around the world. Whether it's as a book or a movie. The story of young people from different classes meeting and falling in love with each other. Following the old and repetitive story lines. The couple were separated that summer. The cruel mother confiscated all the letters that the young man had painstakingly sent to her, causing the young woman to believe that he had forgotten her.

But a coincidence happened on the front page of the newspaper. As a result, she finds the young man and tries to make up for lost memories.

Luhan handed the book back to the other party and then focused on finding the book he was interested in. A place that needs quiet, like the library itself, seems like it. Just by using sign language along with moving your mouth to speak, you can understand each other without much difficulty. His new friends seemed quite surprised that Luhan knew so much sign language.

He became interested and studied since his university days in Germany. Practice using it as much as you can because he likes the feeling it brings. It's a good feeling. that can communicate in silence There were no loud noises, no cheering, just the slightest bit of smiling at each other to show goodwill.

After Luhan picked a few books and held them in his arms. So he looked up at the person sitting on the stairs. His hand moved slowly. As if to drag out this moment for as long as possible.

“See you later...?”

The other party just smiled and Luhan answered.

(behind the static)

His forehead rested against the bookshelf until it made a soft sound. The tips of his nails dug into the thick fabric of his chest to control his racing heart and heavy breathing. Just seen from a distance He could already guess who that man was. In addition to the additional height and glasses That person has not changed to the point of being unrecognizable.

His facial structure may look sharper than before because of his age, but he still has a 'Luhan' quality that he can't tell. Frantically, he suddenly decided to climb up the stairs that were located right here. and hit the jackpot when the other party turned into the same alley. Plus he came and sat nearby. His hand was shaking so much that he could knock the book out of his hand.

Eyelids blinked rapidly, removing moisture from eyes that were coated with a thin layer of water. He picked up his cell phone and typed a message with trembling fingers.

'I met Luhan'

'Is that Luhan? Oh, that's right. Junmyeon said that he hasn't changed at all.'

'I don't know... He wears glasses...'

'So… what did he say about you?'

'Minseok?'

The message from the other end stunned him. Minseok just laughed before leaving only a smile that disappeared in the blink of an eye. Because I didn't hear a sound, I didn't think it was him... Or that you don't remember at all?

The music was loud and loud in the bright square room, alternating with the sound of the soles of sneakers crunching and shaking on the wooden floor. Several seconds behind the last beat. Minseok lays down, sprawled out on the cool surface. and breathing in and out heavily His eyes narrowed, almost closed from the direct light.

If there was one thing that would make him forget everything and get lost in it, it was music and dancing. The feeling afterward was like being thrown into an empty space because of the adrenaline and heartbeat that was so heavy that the ears were deafening.

He swallowed the saliva through his dry, powdery throat. pull yourself up to sit His image was reflected in the mirror in all directions, and Minseok saw a glimpse of his former self. With a slimmer figure and appearance that has been refined according to the trends of today's society. Can't blame Luhan. He understood that it was because of the distance and time that had passed over the years.

To him, what had happened in between had passed like a blur. Loss of focus because he doesn't want to go back and think about it. But what Minseok couldn't erase were the insults about why he didn't have useful dreams and pride like everyone else. that his voice was a bit unstable Somewhat difficult to control

Or sometimes it twists and turns erratically even in speaking. And that friend was the only one who saw the importance—

("Minseok's voice... I like it, it's cute.”)

—But that one thing was taken away and never recovered, even though he shouldn't have held back on those words too much. When he woke up in a white room filled with the nose-piercing smell of the hospital, He couldn't pronounce anything anymore. The dream shattered and left only ruins that still linger to this day.

Just thinking about the feeling of his heart plummeting into the abyss at that time, the corners of his eyes became hot. Minseok took a deep breath and blinked rapidly. He may have to rebuild everything including leaving his old feelings behind, just smile and be whatever fate wants him to be. It would be better than being the forgotten Minseok. ...Will it be good or not?

After that day Luhan also stopped by the library to be a friend to talk with, just like he said. (Luhan's appearance hasn't changed like Chanyeol heard from Junmyeon.)

“The other day I was in charge of a young patient and three aunts and uncles.” Luhan made hand signals with one hand while sorting through books spread out on the table. “So I wanted to find something interesting for them to read to pass the time.”

“What about the TV?” Minseok asked, sitting with his chin on his back and looking at the young doctor who was intently flipping through every book he picked up.

“They don't like loud noises. Your aunt's hearing is too sensitive. The voices in his head alone would disturb him too much.”

Luhan's sign language is so fluent that Minseok can't even keep up with him at times. This was another side of this friend that he had never seen before—mature and responsible for his own work, even if it wasn't necessary. He felt his heart pounding when he thought that Luhan was no longer just that football-crazed Chinese boy.

Minseok reaches out and pulls out one of the all-time classic novel series, ‘

Macbeth’

From inside the pile, I went up to investigate and had to wrinkle my nose. I wonder if it will be too difficult to read. He raised his head to comment when Luhan took off his thin, square-rimmed glasses and placed them on the table. Slender fingertips casually comb through the darker hair on his face. without being distracted by what you are doing Minseok held the book in mid-air and stared at the person in front of him without blinking.

He recognized these eyes when he saw them clearly. one more time How did the deep brown colored eyes shine in the sunlight? Under the comfortable cream-colored lights on the high ceiling. It still looked as beautiful as ever.

“Probably not beyond my abilities…” Luhan muttered to himself, but Minseok heard it with both ears. His voice came out softly and he probably used it with his patients until he got used to it. For a second, Minseok wanted the other person to speak to him instead of using sign language. Even though I know that Luhan did it because I wanted him to feel comfortable.

He wanted to feel the same feeling when they used to talk about everything non-stop and exchange laughs no matter the time. Just like in the past, Minseok remembered everything.

Luhan lost interest when he felt that the little friend in front of him was motionless. causing Minseok to be seen sitting and staring distraught Luhan smiled secretly before letting go of his book and crossing his arms and legs on the table and leaning closer. The dark shadows that lay across the vision would bring a distracted person to his senses.

“Am I that attractive?”

Luhan whispered and raised his eyes to take a closer look. The proximity of their noses almost touching made Minseok flinch. Back and forth until the legs of the chair scrape against the floor and make a loud noise. He opened his eyes and quickly turned his head to look around in panic. Minseok stood up and bowed in apology to the woman sitting at the next table reading a book, then quickly sat down again.

He slammed his face down on the table in embarrassment. As for the perpetrator, the corners of his mouth twitched as he stood and looked on with amusement. Minseok raised his head slightly and gave him an irritated look. Go give it while still holding the book halfway to your face. Luhan snickered and then moved his lips to form a word that caused the onlookers to furrow their eyebrows because they didn't understand. He raised his hand to cover his mouth before whispering in a low voice.

“Ke Ai, cute.”

After approximately three seconds of processing time Minseok frowned. Shrinking your neck and burying yourself in your arms again. When I glanced at Luhan, who was floating in the distance, it was as if he hadn't just called a man cute just now. The heat spread even more to his neck and ears. Luhan is like this... Never once did I take responsibility for saying anything.

Luhan continued to smile as he picked up a pile of books. Before Minseok could volunteer to help carry The other party picked him up and walked away. He clamped down on his open lips. The tips of your nails dug into your forearms until it hurt, even though you thought you were used to and accepting your situation. This time made me realize once again that when I couldn't speak, everything seemed difficult. Minseok sighed before standing up, intending to put the book that Luhan had picked out and put it back in its original place.

The young man went back in again but couldn't find Minseok at the table so he had to wander around looking for him. Finally, he came across a small person who was on tiptoe trying to pick up a book that was a little higher up. Luhan remembered his bemused face before and shook his head with a smile. It's really cute. What did he say wrong?

He walked over and grabbed his waist (which was shockingly smaller than he thought because it was hidden under thick clothes). (Always) of those who seem troubled, step back and snatch the book from your hand so that you can tiptoe to pick it up instead. Fortunately, he was taller, although not by much. When lowering the soles of your feet to touch the floor Luhan had to freeze. He only realized what he had done when the tip of his nose touched soft, fine hair and he breathed in a faint apple scent that filled his lungs.

His back was almost pressed against his chest, making him feel his own heartbeat as it reflected back. Luhan glanced at the person in his arms who closed his eyes and bit his lower lip until his fangs sunk in. Moreover, his white skin had turned red, glowing red all the way to his ears. Because of a little struggle This made Luhan quickly release his hand as if touching something hot.

“I-I'm sorry…” I didn't even know why I was apologizing, but at least it made Minseok seem able to breathe easier. The small figure raised his hand and waved. I'll say it's okay and then I'll look away. Luhan swallowed hard, staring at the tiny fingertips. that clings to the edge of the bookshelf in front of you He reached out and touched it and prepared for an unexpected reaction.

But when Minseok didn't remove his hand Luhan had the courage to close his fingers and hold them loosely.

Minseok turned his head with wide eyes. It happened in a way that Luhan himself didn't understand. But at least he was confident in his feelings of wanting to do something for this little person since he realized that the other party couldn't communicate normally with ordinary people. It wasn't out of shallow pity. Even this friend can't speak.

But he saw that natural smiles and cuteness were more important. Meanwhile, one person could only smile and rub his cheek, which had a red streak running across it. The other person tried to hold back his smile until his eyes curled shut. However, they had different reasons.

“You talk to me. No need to use sign language…” Minseok said with a dry smile. Before gently placing his hand on the dining table, he couldn't help but feel sensitive to the few pairs of eyes looking at the reflection on the clear glass. Although there is no way of knowing what they are thinking. Luhan frowned before looking around the shop from the corner of his eye.

“Are you worried about other people's eyes?”

The honest question and penetrating stare caused Minseok to lower his eyes to stare at the blue plaid tablecloth. The tip of the index finger circled the rough cloth in small circles. Why doesn't Luhan know what this reaction means? He had encountered countless cases like this. Training and patching up gaps so that patients can return to normal life is not as difficult as strengthening their mental state to stand proudly in society.

When the influence from outside is still very influential and beyond his control. There are still many boundaries and limitations to this type of communication.

“Xiumin…” Luhan called out but there was no reaction from the other person. The young man let out a long breath before holding out his hand and gently supporting the rounded tip of his chin.

“No one has the right to judge you. They don't even know what you've been through.” Luhan smiled softly. Release your hand when you're sure the other person won't look away again and return to using sign language. “I never asked why you couldn't talk. If you wanted me to know, I would have told you myself.”

A warm palm reached out and gently placed it on his forehead as if to console him. Minseok pursed his lips tightly. The bright lights in the store must have completely reflected his watery eyes. Something in Luhan's eyes seemed to make him unable to look away.

Minseok spent years battling depression and self-loathing before he was able to get back on his feet. When the hardest time has passed He didn't want anyone to show pity or sympathy. He never asked his family or friends to learn sign language to understand him.

And to meet Luhan again Minseok didn't expect anything from the beginning. If this friend was happy to be able to understand him Minseok had just noticed the difference between having to keep his head down and write or type into his phone to communicate something simple. With the fact that he was able to look up at Luhan who had a smile on his face right now.

"thank you"

But Minseok isn't ready—nor brave—to tell the truth.

“Why are you still reading this book? Isn't Pooh having fun?”

The finger that nudged my shoulder This caused Minseok to look away from the original book. He raised an eyebrow at the person who had just walked in instead of answering. Luhan was silent as if he was thinking about something before reaching out and forcing the book to close and placing his hand over it. Even if those small eyes flicked up to look at the hammer.

“What is your problem with this?”

Luhan chuckled and shook his head, which caused Minseok to furrow his brows. But the fingertips are cold. It immediately made it loosen.

“It doesn't matter. You just read on. It's raining outside, so why don't you give me a ride?”

The question blocked every escape route, causing Minseok to reluctantly nod. Even though Minseok tried to focus on the letters on the page, he suddenly seemed unable to read a single word. Luhan often spares time for stopping by to be with friends because he said he doesn't carry a cell phone (and Luhan said it's nice to have an email).

Otherwise, he must be the weirdest human being in Seoul.) Minseok may not be able to refuse a confrontation, but he has always insisted on not being dropped off at home. He could only beg in his heart not to allow the coincidence to exist. Just don't let Luhan meet Chanyeol.

A second-hand sedan stopped in front of the entrance to an average-sized apartment when the sky was completely dark. Because it was raining, Minseok was relieved that no one would be walking out at this time. before getting out of the car and running through the rain Luhan stuffed something into his hand first. Minseok looked at what he was holding and saw that it was a red folding umbrella.

(It must have been a free gift from a car dealer—he wanted to laugh.)

“Keep it and use it. It's going to be rainy season here. Why don't you carry some?”

Minseo couldn't help but smile at the sudden murmurs from the person in such high form. He opened his umbrella and jogged. to the awning in front of the building's door When he turned around, he still found a silver car parked in the same place. Minseok felt like a sob was stuck in his chest. Chaos created without thought Soon he would have to end it himself.

How long can I lie to Luhan? Will you be very disappointed in him?

(behind the static)

'Hello, you on the other end of the line... This is an autoresponder. You must have made the wrong call. Please hang up.'

Luhan continued to listen to the slightly buzzing sound of electricity coming through the phone even after the message ended. This number remains a mystery. He wondered what the person on the other end of the phone was like and what their reasons were for doing this. Previously, Luhan had been pulled closer with every exchange of messages.

It's like there's a gravitational pull to be more curious every time, but because the message hasn't changed many times. Maybe it's time to stop attaching yourself to it.

“Recently I haven't been too busy with my cell phone. But I stayed in the library instead.”

Luhan almost wanted to sigh into Jongin's face, who was sitting across the street from mashed potatoes and cold hospital food. No matter how much he said, this kid still harassed him about his personal matters.

“What is this about you?”

"Oh, I really don't know. Or are you pretending to be stupid?” when Luhan pretended to throw the Styrofoam glass in his hand at him. Jongin quickly raised his hands in defense. "The news about Dr. Lu is very popular among young nurses."

"Nonsense."

“I see they are betting on whether they are married or not. Looks like it's still there..."

Luhan could only breathe out heavily. The rest of Jongin's words didn't even enter his ears. Luhan tapped on his phone screen a few times while thinking. He tried to organize the things that were bothering him one at a time. Since the strange number old memories that he didn't even visit There are many people who have just walked into our lives.

It's true, Xiumin... looks calm and somewhat lonely in his eyes. Many things about this person reminded him of someone who didn't know where to begin talking about it. His first Korean friend had dreamed of entering the industry since childhood. Even though it was accused of being a ridiculous goal.

He was a foreigner who still spoke the local language like a snake. Fish and quiet boy One person turns out to be a pair of best friends who are strangely compatible. That friend has dreams, but he's not very ambitious. It was wrong for him to see his own future and be determined to get it. Luhan felt that he had to keep pushing.

Supporting and helping build confidence as much as the other person needs it. He's there to protect you to the point of being a habit. Until now, Luhan hasn't heard anything about this friend. Even though they used to be very close when they were in school, the limitations on communication channels made them unable to help falling out of each other's orbit.

What happened to Kim Minseok? And the fact that he was putting new and old friends next to each other like this. What is he doing?

Luhan tried to find various excuses to refute the feelings he tried to deny. But it was clear that part of him was using his new friend to completely replace his old friend—a relationship he had been trying to build with his own two hands. As everyone looked at him with eyes full of admiration.

He is a detailed doctor who always gives more than a simple diagnosis. Luhan was used to paying attention to people's actions and seeing each person as he had been trained. But in the end, he found that he didn't like himself that much.

“Hey, Dr. Lu, are you in your thirties already?”

“I dare you–Kim Jongin. Try saying one more word.”

“Aren't you looking for someone? If you don't start, how will you succeed?"

Luhan circled the tip of his index finger around. A cup of coffee before letting out a long sigh. He pressed his hand against his forehead and muttered to himself. “There are only numbers that I don't know how to find using synthetic voices. How do I start–”

“I mean the people at the library.”

“Huh?” He raised his head slightly and looked at the person opposite under his lashes. Jongin raised his eyebrows superiorly.

“People at the library. It wasn't because I liked it that I went looking for it? It's such a simple thing, why are you so naive?"

Luhan can accept that maybe keeping Jongin would be beneficial too.

“You feel like someone I know.”

Luhan was already sipping his second coffee of the day as the sun began to sink. His youthful face only wrinkled his nose in response. But Luhan continued to talk even though Minseok didn't show much reaction (after Minseok asked that he would like to talk to him several times, Luhan finally gave in.)

“Have we met before?”

And it was so successful that listeners choked on their tea. His small hand brushed aside and grabbed a tissue to cover his mouth. More than three seconds passed before Minseok found his sanity and his eyes widened in fright. Acting like I'm getting goosebumps.

“What kind of old-fashioned joke is this?”

Luhan let out a chuckle before raising his hands to his sides in surrender. Then he stepped back and leaned on the back of the chair. Tea-colored eyes looked at the book on the round table that the other party took with him everywhere. Just seeing it made him feel uncomfortable. It was as if the letters on the cover had glared back at him.

“At that time, I didn't answer your question. Actually, I have a history with this movie.”

Minseok's breath suddenly hitched. Luhan also brought up this matter. He glanced at Luhan, who still had a casual expression. Then try to convince yourself to calm down first.

movie

The Notebook

It came out during my last year of high school. Minseok still remembers that it was the last showing at 11:00 p.m. at the old movie theater. Not too far from the school. The last time the two friends sat together and watched a movie was a romantic movie (and Minseok would never tell Luhan that it was true).

And then he falls asleep towards the end of the story. (That's why he's reading it right now.) They both walked out of the theater with darker eyelids than usual, but no one thought of picking up the joke. Neither side said anything as if they knew that the next day Their paths will split in different directions and there's no guarantee they'll find their way back together until...

“Allie and Noah are 14 years apart,” Luhan casually said. It was as if he didn't intend to speak to anyone in particular. As he turned his head to look at the busy road with speeding cars, a smile lit up the corner of his mouth. “But we still managed to meet each other.”

Is there anyone you would like to meet? Minseok wanted so badly to ask, but no matter how much he moved his mouth, no sound came out. He wasn't even sure that he still knew Luhan as well as before. This man may not remember the people from his past who have walked into his life at all. Since the person Luhan was talking to right now was Xiumin. Not Kim Minseok

"I'm not the type to believe in coincidences. Thinking about it, I really hate that movie," Luhan said laughing before turning around.

“Do you remember the strange voicemail? Can I tell you about it?”

His handsome face tilted down, trying to find the onyx eyes that were hidden. But he had to give up because Minseok just nodded and lowered his eyes to look at his fingertips entangled on the table. It's just this close. Just a little more push would have made Minseok confess the whole truth—before all Luhan could do was send him back to the past—before anything Luhan planned to say would make matters worse. It's more difficult than this.

“The message hasn't changed since I met you. Whether it was a coincidence or not, I don't know... But it made me see you more clearly.”

Minseok took a deep breath. To relieve the discomfort in the middle of the chest He mustered up his courage and looked up into the eyes of the pair who were staring at him unmoving. Why? He was terrified and it was probably reflected in his fluttering eyes. But Luhan had a gentle smile on his face.

“What do you intend to say?” The sign language came out hurried and careless according to Minseok's current mood. But it seemed that Luhan didn't care at all about the question. When he regained consciousness, Minseok was pulled up. The surface of the half-full tea rippled with the touch of a knee brushing across the edge of the table.

“Let's get out of here.”

The smile on Luhan's face was like something from yesterday. It was the most mischievous and bright that he had seen in a while. The two took the train out to the outskirts of town where the scenery was familiar. Minseok could only allow himself to be led down the quiet street before stopping in front of an empty alcove.

As Minseok walked in step by step. His watch seemed to go back as well. The now open grass area was once a playground. to other players It will be completely demolished, but the swing will still be left in its original place. The rust was so stubborn that it probably couldn't be moved. Minseok opened his mouth to shout a warning when Luhan fearlessly lowered himself into his seat. The steel frame made an ear-piercing creak from the slight movement.

“You remind me of someone. He is an important friend,” Luhan said, breaking the silence. His voice was clear and resonant, as if he had never carried anything heavy in his heart. “He wasn't very enthusiastic but I was willing to rely on him. I like protecting him.”

Minseok lowered his eyes to look at the warm palm still wrapped around his wrist. No matter how quickly you jerk it off, it won't make you run far. If only Luhan would realize that he was talking about him as if he were a different person with a smile he barely forced. But that same smile is hurting the listener.

Drilling into deep wounds that are difficult to repair. And Minseok had never hated his inability to speak as much as he did now.

“I'm not saying this to compare. I brought you here to tell you that I won't keep him locked up. I'll let him go…” The end of his sentence was dragged out until there was only a murmur as Minseok's palm was pulled closer to his warm, soft lips. The temperature rose from his fingertips to his heart and he didn't know when he had held his breath.

“Because you are here. I want to protect you.”

Minseok turned away from the orange sunlight in a futile attempt to hide his watery eyes. Hearing these words didn't make him happy at all.

His arrival in Seoul to find Luhan, according to Chanyeol, started with a simple reason. I just want to meet and see you again. But it was all wrong since Luhan didn't recognize him. He also created a character named Xiumin (whom a tall model friend gave him as a joke) without thinking about the consequences. Minseok didn't intend for it to be like this at all.

“I can't help but think that the ringing sound might be a sign of some kind – ah, it's going to rain again.” Luhan looked up at the somber orange sky. Looks threatening with the sound of thunder not far away.

“If we run now, we should be able to hide next to the building in time.”

Luhan stood up and brushed his pants down slightly and jerked the hand that held him to follow. But found that the other party was digging their toes into the ground and not moving.

“Xiu–”

It was an act that Minseok considered the bravest in his life. He jerked his hand away before grabbing the collar of his light blue shirt to pull him closer and pressing his lips to his in a very artless manner. The teeth hit so hard from within that he could smell the smell of blood that filled his mouth. But still forcing a little pressure

Two hands holding the shoulder He pulled away only to take a deep breath.

“Xiumin–”

And Minseok threw both his arms up and wrapped them around the taller man's neck again. He pressed his hand against the back of his sweaty neck as he tilted his head, but this time Luhan's faces met halfway. The rain that had begun to fall couldn't quench the feeling of Minseok nipping at the other's lower lip. Drag your senses down into the depths—

Dark but shimmering—supposedly beautiful and filled with longing. If the warm water flowing from his eyes came from pure feelings like love that Minseok had kept under lock and key for so many years, The rain washed it down to the ground in a way that Luhan would never know.

Their legs tangled as they tried to bring each other into the empty square of a nearby hotel room. There was nothing but a few pieces of furniture. A bed stood in the middle, which soon became as empty as the room itself and not as neat as before.

“This is the last chance I have for you to reject…” Luhan said with a long sigh. Minseok raised his hand tremblingly. Cupping his handsome face, he moved his lips to form two words, which was enough to allow Luhan to swoop down and press a deep kiss on his soft lips again and again.

The sound of damp clothes hitting the floor echoed in his ears as he was pressed down onto the sun-scented mattress. His pupils widened as he watched the body move up and block the dim orange light from the bulb. Try to remember everything Whatever is happening, let it be deeply embedded in your memory. Warm palms leave contact—both caressing.

They pressed and squeezed until there were scratches—almost every part. Luhan's breath was as heavy as his ears as the burning sensation slowly spread. Buried deep until my heart beats loudly. A pair of beautiful eyes narrowed and looked over his face, which was still red. Dazzling with sweat and raindrops, it was unsightly. Luhan pressed their foreheads together and whispered in a shaky voice.

“Hold on to my shoulder, if you can't take it then squeeze hard - or pinch... Hug me, I can scratch you.”

In the end, Minseok did it all. Luhan let out a low moan in his throat that made his heart skip a beat, echoing off every wall, and Minseok could almost hear his own voice screaming for help deep inside his skull. Everything that was Luhan surrounded him until only white images could be seen scattered in his vision.

Just this one time... He would pretend that Kim Minseok didn't exist at all.

The rain that had begun to fall softly hit the window. In the silence after the storm that just passed The light from outside casts shadows on the lashes of the soft skin as the tired eyelids blink. The young man listened to the steady breathing of the person in his arms and prevented a lazy smile. that cannot appear

With a whisper as light as a feather floating out into the air

“Minseok…”

(behind the static)

It was early morning in the spacious suite. A tall young man sprawled across the length of the sofa. Large headphones covering his head swayed to the melody and the sounds of birds chirping from outside on the balcony. Onyx eyes flickered slightly when the sound of the door opening and closing was heard. But he didn't immediately pay attention to it.

A hip-hop song was about to play when the tall figure decided to get up. Listen to the sound of the shower that has just quieted down. He got up and stretched, then waddled into his bedroom.

“Where did you go last night, Minseok–” But what appeared in front of him made your jaw drop. The deep voice disappeared as the small figure pulled down a clean t-shirt to hide his bare skin just moments before. His eyes followed his strange steps. of a small friend and had to grab the upper arm of someone who was about to pass.

“Where are you going?”

Minseok pulled his phone out of his pocket with a straight face. His fingertips stayed on the screen for a while, then he handed it to the tall man to read.

"go home? Why? Junmyeon already arranged to meet up, right?” Chanyeol asked impatiently, seeing the backpack that he probably already packed. “Luhan knows about this.”

Just hearing that name His eyes felt burning from dried tears. Minseok took a deep breath before pulling down the collar of his shirt to reveal the red bruises scattered beneath his collarbone. His lips trembled as Luhan and Chanyeol understood everything. He stood still and looked at Minseok who was typing something with his nose scrunched up.

'Luhan doesn't love Minseok. Never. He left Minseok in that playground. One day things will turn red and I won't be able to wait until it happens. If he hates me, that's fine... I'm fine, just give me some time. I can't look at his face...'

Chanyeol sighed when he finished reading. His friends had already been through too much. As much as he wanted to help find a solution, he could only accept what Minseok chose. He pulled the small body into a loose embrace and rocked it back and forth, “But Luhan will never forget you…”

Minseok took a step back and tried to smile as much as he could, despite his tired eyes.

'I don't have the courage to think any further than right now. Thank you for everything. Do you want to drop me off?'

Chanyeol yawned because he had to sit and wait for the next bus with Minseok for several hours. When I got off the bus at the stop closest to the apartment, it started to rain. Chanyeol cursed himself before running to make it to the lobby before the sky poured down. He narrowed his eyes at the silver car parked in his way and shook his head in disgust.

When I walked in, I saw a man who looked like he was arguing with the caretaker. Chanyeol looked away for a bit before going straight to press the elevator button. But as he stood there waiting, something fell out of the man's mouth and caught his ear.

The elevator door opened with a ding, just as Chanyeol turned on his heel, took a long step forward and snatched the young man's shoulder, turning him around and it was as expected. There was no one else who knew Xiumin.

“Lu…Han.”

“Mr. Chanyeol... Park Chanyeol?”

When sweeping your eyes, you look at the person in front of you from head to toe. You can be sure that it's not the wrong person. Chanyeol could only moan angrily because what was wrong with these two people? He raised his head to stare at the face of the person who had been known as his closest friend before, then threw his arms around his neck and dragged them up together.

"What's up, friend? We haven't seen each other for a long time... It looks like we have a lot to talk about.”

Luhan let out a long breath as the caffeine entered his bloodstream after he told him the full story about Xiumin. The only thing that came back was Chanyeol's hard stare and Luhan's body felt like he had shrunk to just one inch.

“You know... that it's Minseok.” Chanyeol's voice was so low he could hardly be heard. His large palm slammed onto the table before his voice suddenly rose in anger.

“So what the hell are you going to do next?!”

Luhan closed his eyes and squeezed his hands tightly. “At first I wasn't sure. But everything started to fall into place, I–”

“Minseok completely believes that you…” Chanyeol raised his hand to his forehead and sighed heavily, “Luhan, you tricked him.”

The young man took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes hard. It was as if he accepted the accusations well. Why can't Luhan remember Kim Min Seok? Even though he couldn't hear him, he kept an eye on his various demeanor. His eyes were wide like a child's and his small lips were slightly raised. That book is even more unlikely to be a coincidence. But what made Luhan complete the final jigsaw puzzle was Minseok's expression on the playground.

His eyes flickered as if he saw the past flashing in stages. The feeling of his lips that he might have touched before when the other party wasn't aware in his confused years.

“I want to be able to walk up and give Minseok a hug and call out Minseok's name. It's just that everything I said would be of no use if Minseok weren't a stranger to me.”

Luhan's every word and action has always been meaningful. He didn't care what Minseok lost along the way because the only thing he wanted to convey was that he saw—accepted and understood—the other person right now. But what Luhan forgot to think about was filling the wide gap called honesty.

“But you drove him to the edge of the abyss... That's not smart, Luhan.” Chanyeol didn't count how many times he sighed today. The matter of these two people gave him a headache.

“I knew and I had to bring him back in. When it becomes like this You can't keep me still, right?”

Luhan stared at the series of numbers on the phone screen before getting up.

“Minseok looked for me with this number. I must be the one to pursue.”

“Please don't take too long.” Chanyeol squeezed his friend's shoulder hard. “But are you sure you don't want to hear about Minseok first?”

Luhan shook his head and smiled. He used sign language even though Chanyeol couldn't understand it.

“If he wants you to know. He will tell me.”

Luhan took the risk of calling the number one more time before he was ready to find Minseok. The hoarse voice that came out made him flinch. His eyes fluttered because of its roughness. It was so painful that I almost couldn't stand listening to it.

‘Aisle Lit-N 38’

And Luhan almost pressed the gas pedal all the way to the library. He found many sheets of paper torn from notebooks that were interspersed among the pages of '

The Notebook’

On the yellowed surface of the paper were all Minseok's handwriting. Luhan took the book with him after making sure he had collected every single piece of paper.

After clearing all the work, you can request free time. He decided to read it on the bus—the destination was Minseok's hometown, according to the address he'd gotten from the yearbook. Fortunately, Junmyeon still kept it—the contents included little events that happened during their school days. Even the first impression of Luhan Until writing to vent feelings everywhere.

Luhan said he liked my voice. Delightful, don't you think? I feel a lot better, no matter how many other people think the opposite, I don't care, what does Luhan's look mean? Just holding my shoulder makes my heart flutter, I like it more and more. Why are you so kind? Must make dreams come true

If he succeeds, will Luhan be able to proudly tell people that he is Kim Min Suk's friend?

I'm sick, why does it have to be like this?

Can't speak... anymore, Luhan...

And Luhan couldn't stop the water droplets from rolling down his cheeks. Leave the stain on a small piece of note paper. A bit of melted ink was still fresh because it was what Minseok had written not long ago.

When Luhan said he understood...

It's like falling in love all over again. Crazy.

Finding an important person is not an easy task. Especially having to wander around in different places. I just came here for the first time. Luhan asked about the little man. whose name is Kim Minseok He asked for directions, hoping it would bring him a little closer.

It was raining again, and Luhan had to take shelter in a coffee shop after moving nonstop since morning until the sky was completely dark. But his hopes are raised when a store employee recognizes Minseok and tells him that he used to be a regular customer. But I have to drink less coffee because my throat isn't good. Luhan felt a little relieved as he looked outside through the glass that was beginning to become cloudy from the steam.

If he still couldn't find Minseok, he would probably have to find a place to stay instead. The novel was on the table along with the papers which he picked up and read several times.

But immediately he saw a red color move from the corner of his eye. A pair of beautiful eyes widened and she stood up. The thin figure left his things like that and ran through the rain to get a closer look at the umbrella. Even though it was difficult because there were only light poles along the road at intervals.

Red umbrella... printed in white letters with the name of a used car shop... Height... shoes... that tone of brown hair...

Luhan wiped away the rain that was blocking his vision and ran after him without thinking. He stopped in his tracks and panted heavily in front of the umbrella bearer before slowly raising his head, his heart pounding rapidly as if it would explode. Trembling lips curved into a smile. He stepped closer and used his cold fingers to smooth away the teardrops that Minseok had let fall. Wet palms cupped soft cheeks to make eye contact.

“I came to apologize to Kim Minseok... but I meant everything I said. I hate that movie because it's similar to us. Even though there's no sound? I still want to protect you.”

The small figure released the umbrella from his hand and reached out to brush away the damp hair that obscured her beautiful eyes. That same hand forcefully pushed the chest of the person in front of him. Minseok swallowed back a sob with trembling lips. But then he couldn't hold back his smile.

“I won't forgive you.”

Luhan doesn't believe in coincidences because this is how it should be. He pulled the small, wet bodies into a tight embrace and reminded himself that he would never let go again.

“Minseok… I am proud of you.”

The red umbrella was forgotten on the sidewalk. It was like Luhan had lost track of how long he had held Minseok. But it didn't matter because the arms around him were just as tight.

It’s not by chances

I still found you, safe and sound,

behind the noises.

- Behind the Static

The End.