Title : Pretend To Don't Know

Author : Pii (Holywitch)

Pairing/Couple : Yoosu

Category : Romantic & Drama

Rating : PG-17(NC-17)

Author ’s note :  SF

Another matter posted on the board is closed. The board has reached the final episode.

P will gradually bring it down.

>> Holywitch Blog <<

The expression "stupid like a buffalo" makes animals that are important workers in rice production for us be used as a symbol of low intelligence, even though their origins are only legends that have been told since ancient times. People keep using it again. Without anyone even caring if it's true or not?

Or some people may say Ostriches are the stupidest animals. Because he thought he just stuck the head in the ground. will be able to escape the death that the hunter is bringing

But....in my opinion We humans are full of stupidity.

Stupid, knowing that he was making a choice that would cause himself severe pain, he still tried to ignore the warnings from his subconscious that were crying out for him to accept it. Or just give it up.

If you really look at it...every animal loves life, loves its own mind, and loves its own body. But we humans are still trying to jump in and hurt ourselves every day.

...Humans...never care...never think...that they will suffer later.

Humans are ignorant and ignorant. They like to hope that even if they do something wrong or bad, The person deciding the outcome may accidentally give an unexpected return, even though they know deep down. That there's no way it can be like that But humans.. still hope. Still having wet dreams

....I....are just a stupid human being. One person as well....

...I'm excited...

The image reflected through the dark sunglasses lenses was only the body of a young man with black hair. He was digging into his bag to find something. Of course, I wouldn't be thrilled with my own half-brother. But what is making me feel that Yuhwan's temporary stupidity right now is...

It's an eyesore like never before. It was because of the thing he was busy looking for. I must have walked through the bright cream-colored door and entered as soon as I arrived. If it weren't for the fact that his younger brother was born, he would just randomly throw the key. Put it in your bag until you can't find it like this. The time that stretched out made his heart grow hotter until he could hardly stand and wait.

I hid my immobile snoring behind large sunglasses. and two hands reaching into the pocket until they were covered with sweat In my heart I wanted to grab Jack Sparrow's bag full of treasures and pour everything out. Put it all on the floor. But does that seem like an invasion of personal rights too much? The social etiquette that parents have taught us since then has been a strong force. Hold back and just ask in a normal tone of voice.

“Still haven't found it? Did you forget to bring it?”

"Wait a minute, brother. Just a moment. I thought I'd put it here...ah...found it!!"

Yuhwan's joyful cries caused his already irregular heart rate to break. It became more and more frequent, like I was about to break through and do a hula hula dance outside my chest. Its rhythm was merciless. Bounced and bounced and slammed all over until everything hurt. Even more so when the silver metal was inserted into its place before twisting the wrench. A loud clinking sound made me have difficulty swallowing the sticky lump in my throat.

A figure smaller than Yuhwan's stepped through the door. But my legs, which had been supporting me for so long, were as heavy as expressway paving. No matter how buried it is, it still remains that way. Even though my heart had already taken me as far as the living room

“Hyung, come in.” Yuhwan turned around, confused to see me still standing pretentiously in front of the door. He was taking off his shoes before arranging them neatly, unlike at home, one was in Thailand, but the other was all the way to Korea.

I nodded and gathered my breath to help, so I could follow along and take off my leather shoes and line them up next to Yuhwan's favorite sneakers.

I walked quickly, following my younger brother who was almost on a bamboo copter, soaring through the living room following the scent of the scent. Today's breakfast for the two of us went into the kitchen inside.

I unbuckled the strap of my bag from my shoulder, took off my coat, and placed it on the living room sofa. It's not that I don't want to hurry and meet the owner of the room. But I need time to rest my body and prepare my mind before I have to go to battle. Because he was going to have to clash with an opponent who was no less frightening to the stability of his heart.

Taking a long, deep breath, I meditated to gain wisdom. For a while, my demanding heart urged me to follow him into the kitchen. The distance walking parallel to the pale orange wallpaper seemed so far away in my feelings Immediately after the edge of the room A large lacquered wooden table came into view.

No wait, no delay...I looked across the adjacent counter to find that person. It was as if the long time that had elapsed in preparing one's mind suddenly lost its value once inside the house. A petite figure in a chocolate striped apron turned away from her face to lift. A pot with smoke billowing out of a pair of white-and-brown polka-dotted heat-proof gloves was placed on the counter.

A sweet, nostalgic face dispelled the feeling of drowsiness and faint headaches. Because you have to wake up early after sleeping for only a few hours to let the clouds dissipate and disappear in The air was replaced with warmth that expanded until his heart bulged tightly in his chest. I looked blankly at the face that was decorated with a bright smile with happiness that I didn't know. Where did you lose so much?

His eyes shone brightly and he stared at the food in his hands with intense pride. His nose was as high and puckered as his thin lips that were curling up into a careless smile at his own work.

I want to take time to secretly gather up little things and collect opportunities. Keep this sweet one. At least it's enough to give you enough strength to work all day...but...that's what he said. Happiness doesn't last long. ...It appears to be true...

“Junsu!!”

“Hey!!” The little figure was hit by the force and leaned forward, but still tried to support the pot in his hand. To the best of my ability, the lump of happiness that I had carefully shaped and stored fell down to my ankles.

...My heart was torn away by the actions of the creditor who came to demand his wealth back...

“Yu Hwan!! What are you doing?!! Almost six, can you see that? I was so shocked that I threw a pot of porridge on your face. What should I do?” When I found that the item in my hand was still safe, Junsu then turned around to criticize the person who rushed in and hugged him from behind without realizing it.

“Welcome to accept it with all my heart!! After all, it's my breakfast, isn't it?” Junsu sighed in frustration. before turning around to check the neatness of the pot, letting Yuhwan embrace him. Snuggling his face against his shoulder, never leaving his side.

I don't care about the dirt. Containing the feeling of being left on the ground until it was crushed. I ignored the atmosphere that was created as if I wasn't standing there. I'm only interested in...

That hand... that was caressing my waist, something affectionate.

That embrace... that was sending warmth brought a smile from another person.

That touch...inhaling the scent of light-colored silk and soft, smooth skin.

Am I being deprived of even the air I can breathe? Why do I feel so uncomfortable that it rises up my throat? Unable to raise any protest sounds Even though my heart was screaming for the two people to separate each other. Before I collapse here The two of them didn't even notice the third person who was suffering so much on the scene. The sweet love of a movie that you intend to buy a ticket to see but don't want to see at all.

“It is, yes, but you will eat it while you eat it. That it was just bubbling over. Did you get off the stove?” Junsu echoed the screams in my heart by leaning his head and knocking against his lover. Have fun teasing each other

“Hmm, is it delicious?”

“You have to go ask at the store. Because I'm just warming it up with my hands. Where do you have the wisdom to do that?” Junsu pursed his lips, looking so cute that I accidentally smiled along with him...just for a moment....

“It's already delicious. Warmed by Kim Junsu like this? Pork porridge? It looks delicious, but first, I'd like to cheer up the person who made it an appetizer."

“Hey.. come on, let go first, I'm still holding the hot pot.” Junsu turned his head to avoid Yuhwan's mischievous touch on his cheek. while laughing

“Huh, Junsu-ah, always.” Every time I would laugh to see my younger brother's retarded face. and teased until he was angry But when I saw Junsu laughing with joy at Yuhwan's awkwardness...I felt... Feeling annoyed...

...Am I really that bad?...I really want to ask the person who just turned around and discovered my existence....

“Ah, Yoochun hyung, hello, Yoohwan, why didn't you tell me before that Yoochun hyung was coming too? I'll buy more of it,” Junsu greeted and bowed his head slightly. I'm glad Junsu finally turned his attention to me. But he chose to turn around and ask about it with his lover anyway.

“Well, he came home early this morning. And mother isn't here. So I invited you to stay in this house. A pot this big can't be eaten by ten people.”

Yoo Hwan is always worried about me. I rarely go home because work forces me. But when I come back His younger brother would be very kind and welcoming and take good care of him. Don't let your older brother suffer from starvation. Like inviting him to eat breakfast at his girlfriend's house today. Instead of spending time with each other But he still had the kindness to invite a brother like me to come along because he didn't want to default on his lover.

But I don't want to abandon the hair that comes back tired. Let's find rice and fish to eat by ourselves.

A person like me should be considerate, right? Probably like that..but I opened my eyes and got up to take a shower as soon as Yuhwan came to wake me up... I'm a really bad older brother, right?...

“It's gone, sir. Can you let it go yet? I'm a bit considerate of your older brother. Yoochun hyung comes in and sits first. I'll prepare a bowl for you.” Junsu turned and smiled at me before showing the good manners of the owner of the house and inviting me in. I accepted the generosity with a dry, stiff smile.

Amidst the feelings that are complicating each other inside. Both wanted to walk in and separate the two of them. I wanted to turn and walk away from there because I didn't want to see the horrible sight. But Yuhwan's words of encouragement made me decide to stay at the top of my game.

"It's okay, girlfriend. Yoochun hyung doesn't mind, right?"

I held my breath before smiling and waving my hand to signal that I didn't mind. But Junsu lowered his head in embarrassment at being so possessive in front of others. When Yoohwan saw that, He released one hand and gingerly pinched his reddened cheek.

Did you see that? I'm such a fool. Stupid for letting myself feel this way. Stupid for choosing to walk towards the edge of the knife and let it slash into your heart. Stupid to have to bear the pain just because I didn't want to leave the two of them alone. It's stupid to let yourself do something that you know only stupid people would do...why?

It's because I'm stupid...

“Yoo Hwan, don't be stubborn, I'm not good at scooping porridge,” Junsu snapped at the person who was still holding on to him and wouldn't let go. Even though the little man was now carefully ladling smoky porridge into three bowls.

“Ah..Alright, for the sake of someone's rumbling stomach.” Yuhwan let go of the soft person. before moving to stand beside him

“Huh, pretend you know.”

“I know, because I hugged you. See, hugging each other a little every day will kill you.” Yuhwan dropped the bomb, giving the Hammersmith a chance to roll his head and run away before walking around to leave. I sat down on the chair I was standing on because I was used to sitting regularly.

“Enough, then why sit on that side? Come sit on this side. Yoochun hyung has been waiting for a long time, haven't you seen him?”

Yuhwan turned to look at me with an expression before easily standing up and sitting on the other side.

“Yes, Bebe.”

“Ugh, you called it that again, it gives me goosebumps.” Junsu shivered before putting the pot back on the stove as usual. Then walked back and sat down next to Yoohwan. As a result, I had to walk in and sit in the vacant chair after delaying my time at the table. It took a long time because I didn't want to spit out blood and die first.

“Junsu is so mean. Yoochun hyung, look at this. Your sister-in-law is the meanest.” Yuhwan tapped his spoon hard. He fell to the bottom of the bowl like a child who was offended and asked for support from his older brother with the sentence "I I don't want to accept the situation that I just said.

“I think Junsu will be able to ride. Definitely your position as another mother.” I chose to reply like that. At least it relieves tension for myself. Consoling myself that I didn't want to accept the situation I saw in my eyes.

"Oh, hyung. We don't get along at all, sis."

Our breakfast was simple from the perspective of the two of them. But for me Time passes too slowly. Even though the two of them didn't have sweet scenes of feeding each other food and water, Because Yuhwan must have been embarrassed by his older brother. Junsu, on the other hand, was so quiet that I didn't know what he was thinking.

But I wonder if someone is stopping time to torture me?

“So? Did Yoochun hyung really go to Switzerland to film? So envious.”

“If you want to go. I can take you there.”

“If I wait, you will probably be able to go to the next life, Yuhwan. First of all, should I start by stopping by from staying in the room on the first floor?”

“Jun Su-ah, I want to come and eat breakfast with you.” Yuhwan wanted to come and eat breakfast here. Because the porridge in the two of them's bowls might be sweet, mellow, and delicious. But the taste that's touching my tongue right now It's bitter and astringent. Until I felt like I wanted to break into the store and go on a rampage. The penalty for cooking food is too bad for a consumer like me to swallow it down.

“Isn't it because you used all the money to decorate your car that you don't have money to eat?” Junsu laughed loudly as he teased Yu Hwan for being so angry.

Junsu's laugh was what I wanted. I want him to smile I want him to laugh. Now...I have a closer look. But why don't you feel happy? Even though I'm happy, I'm not fully happy. When I remember that it wasn't meant for me...am I narrow-minded?...

After that, the space in his stomach was filled to the brim. Couple volunteering to wash dishes So I had to disappear and sit in the living room waiting for Yoohwan. Because I don't want to see pictures of the couple splashing water with bubbles. Longer than the time it took to wash just a few dishes. Yuhwan walked out with the owner of the house smiling with a smile on his face.

The happiness that spread throughout made me hurriedly take myself to stand in front of the room and wait. Because of fear of choking on this highly toxic fumes and requiring treatment for a long time After saying goodbye for another eternity, it was time to take Yuhwan to the university before I got in the car and got out.

A luxury red convertible sports car drove into the parking lot. It was the same place it had retreated to less than an hour ago. I stepped out of the car, holding a piece of paper tightly in my hand, feeling very excited. Than when I stood in front of the cream-colored door for the first time this morning.

I came back because the paper from the porridge bowl was on the saucer at my seat. It probably wasn't written for Yuhwan to have so many opportunities to talk to...it was probably right. Written to tell me like every time in the past...which I can never deny...

Today we haven't had a chance to 'talk' yet. If you're not too busy, please come back and 'talk'.

Junsu

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

A trembling hand reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver object similar to Yoo Hwan's. The key to Kim Junsu's room was inserted as a ticket to a mysterious land that had sent a letter inviting humans. I let Long accept the invitation.

Of course, Yuhwan never knew. And there was no way to know that his brother also had something as precious as a small key. It's very ordinary, but it's worth keeping well just because it's someone's room key. That...I just want to be stupid about one thing and that should be enough...is that true?...

My symptoms were no different from the previous times. I took off my leather shoes and put them in the same place. Place your bag and coat on the sofa in their original positions. and remained silent and waited, not walking into the interior of the room because he wanted to prepare himself But what is different is probably the purpose of this visit. Not to eat breakfast with my brother in his girlfriend's room.

But what is waiting for me...I feel like I know...but on the other hand...I want. Pretending to be unable to guess Because if what Junsu intends to happen between the two of us remains the way it is Used to be...I don't know how to respond?...

The little piece of paper didn't tell me anything more. Junsu's desire to 'talk' I looked at the piece of paper in my hand. Then he began to read and understand the message on it over and over, as if he was afraid that he would make a mistake. Where did you fall? The content that I receive every time I read it still makes my heart twitch less.

I gripped it tightly before deciding to walk over and face the owner of the thrilling note. The long distance from when I walked in just to meet two people has strangely shortened, now that the destination ahead is waiting only for me and no one else.

When emerging into the kitchen area His body was light and seemed to float when he could see the scene in front of him.

Original lacquered wooden table The counter was empty, white and clean. And...Junsu in a chocolate striped apron.

I stopped in the same place. He looked at the little man busy with something on the stove. My heart pounded like a boy peeking at a girl through a window. I don't know, is he making lunch in advance? Maybe you're trying out a new chocolate recipe for sale in the store? I'm not interested, I want to know a lot of details.

Right now, I just want to take advantage of the opportunity this little person gave me. Keep images of Junsu's expressions in your memory. I am using the lens that nature has given me to preserve every image using my heart as a memory. Because at least..it is my property alone..and will never be erased...

Immediately, images from the rewinding film were superimposed and I had to pay attention. Gazing at the colorful picture The sight of Yoohwan rushing to embrace Junsu made my face feel numb like cold water. splashed into the whole tank A turbulent feeling tilted towards dissatisfaction came rushing back to stab me in pain for the second time that day.

I felt my face tighten. I don't know what I'm angry about? Angry that Junsu didn't resist? Or are you frustrated that you can't do anything even though you're standing within arm's reach?

I forced myself to cool down. Even though I'm willing to be stupid, I still have limits for myself. What's the point of letting the memories be recorded in the brain and keep coming back to hurt me every time, when right now there's only him and me in the same background as last time...I'll do it in What I want to do...

I walked around the wall of the room and went around the back. Don't let Junsu see. I'm playing according to the script Yohwan wrote. It's true that an older brother must be calm and know reason. But right now I want to be a jealous, spoiled older brother who wants to play with toys like you. Na Junsu should be teasing me like this. If I were a tease...

Will he have a different reaction from Yohwan?

I sneaked up behind Junsu. Just a few more steps and you would reach the small figure. I raised both my arms up and waited for him to rush in for an emphatic hug. Now I feel like I'm a wolf about to pounce on a lamb. But come on... let it be whatever it is...

Send force to accumulate in the joints. Feet preparing to rush in His eyes stared at the little victim who still didn't know anything. In the moment when he smiled happily at the victory The little sheep turned around and stared wide-eyed at the hungry wolf. Junsu didn't seem too shocked to see me in such a strange and insecure manner. He smiled slightly.

Give until my eyes are floating while still smiling. Junsu turned off the stove, where a pot of dark liquid was simmering. Before washing the sticks, wash your hands and wipe them with an apron. He walked in front of me and came out to the dining table. Mr. Wolf was so inexperienced that he let out a long sigh, regretting that he had been caught beforehand.

I followed Junsu out to the table. I think he would use it as a place to negotiate. But he had not yet had time to sit down. Instead, I was shocked until my face dropped when he turned around and shoved me onto the chair without letting me know.

And then our 'talk' began.

NC-17

Moved to

Block

Please.

I stubbornly hugged the small body. I want to comfort those who have been dismayed by the recent events. That was the first time Junsu acted on his own. He must have felt very unstable as his body and soul had been snatched away. But the person in the embrace didn't seem pleased with the intimate contact for so long.

Junsu resisted before getting up from my lap as if nothing had happened. He grabbed his pants on the floor and walked out of the kitchen, not even caring about the sticky stain. Milky white that flows down her slender legs.

“Junsu,” I called out to him. Junsu stopped at the edge of the room. He rolled his eyes and looked at me. Didn't show annoyance But I didn't care.

“Do you...do you love me?” I asked a person who had an indifferent expression even though they had just gone through a fierce love battle together. Hoping to get some kind of answer like every time I asked Junsu after our relationship. I want to know if the person who called me has gone this far from what is right. What did he do it for? I want Junsu to accept that it's because of love or reject it and give me another reason. I understand.

But as usual... Junsu smiled sadly. before saying the sentence he always used to ask me back

"What about you...do you love me?"

...It's been three days already...

Three days had passed since the day I went back to Junsu's room. Three days I haven't seen him. Haven't even heard any news. For three days, I thought about the answer to the question Junsu left behind.

But until now...I still don't know.

Normally, if Junsu called me, I would show up right away. Or if we don't meet up, I'll secretly look at him from afar. But now I feel so nervous that I have become ridiculously faint-hearted. I didn't dare go see Junsu just because I still couldn't think of an answer for him. Junsu's strange behavior that day made me think that he might want a serious answer from me this time.

I feel worried if I have to answer...what should I do?...since I don't even know if I don't love him or if I can't love him...

Junsu has become an important person to my only younger brother since the day Yoohwan introduced him in As a girlfriend a month ago I still remember that time well. His bright, sparkling eyes stared at me with delight and admiration. His bright smile when he introduces himself awkwardly attracts more eyes to search for his identity.

Under rosy cheeks Until I accidentally forgot for a moment that...Junsu was in front of me...with what status?

The first day I had an impression of him was the day I ended any hope of building a relationship. After that day, I was still stuck searching for candle flames in the dark. The reason why I can't take my mind off the cute face that I will never have. Will be waiting at the destination somewhere.

I intend to escape this endless loop by myself one day. But then this little man tricked me into stepping beyond the boundaries of those who came later. Go straight towards him without any resistance. The first time it was because I was drunk and he didn't resist, but the next time Junsu would give me a chance to say no. But I never thought of doing it.

Of course..I feel guilty towards Yuhwan. I know that one day it will end in my own pain. But I still choose to stubbornly continue the relationship...like a fool who doesn't know anything at all...

Even though we have a deep relationship But I never understood him. Junsu has a complicated mind. Sometimes it seems like he has feelings for me. But sometimes it's like they don't even care about each other at all. What use would it be if I could answer that? Do I love him? Junsu asked because what kind of answer did he really want? The fact that he loves Yoohwan very much and my younger sibling loves Junsu very much is evident. All the time they were together.

When the three of us are together Junsu will treat me as his girlfriend's older brother. Junsu concealed it smoothly. Meanwhile, I myself have emotions simmering in my heart all the time...never getting better than before. And it never gets worse...

Can people love two people at the same time? When emotions are above feelings...like at that time...people are unable to differentiate. Are they really separated? I really want to ask him.

But I can only think... Junsu and I had never met face to face except when we had sex, and when it ended, he never gave me a chance to say anything at length. If I could meet him at any other time, it would only be with Yuhwan.

If Junsu didn't invite me, I would never ask to see him alone, just the two of us. Maybe it was because I didn't have the courage to betray my younger brother. I love Yuhwan as much as an older brother can love a younger brother. Just secretly having sex with Junsu behind his back these days makes me feel so guilty that I want to slash her. The blood connected to Yuhwan left him completely.

...Thinking about it, I just sighed...I don't know what to do with this embarrassment...

Tid~!!

I lowered the hand that was massaging between my eyebrows to relieve the stress. before reaching out and pressing the button next to the bright orange light to chat with the secretary at the front of the room.

"What's up? Mr. Hwang.”

“Someone sent a gift to Boss. The security guard checked and found there was no danger so he sent him upstairs.”

gift? From whom?

"Did you write the sender's name?"

“There was no card attached but there was the store name on the box. It's a snack from the shop.

HEVEN

yes"

I looked at the golden rectangular box with the same colored bow, the size of half an A4, in front of me. various feelings Just heard the name of the shop. The face of someone who liked to frown and smile while in front of the stove flashed into his mind. Junsu really had no sense of cooking. But if it's dessert...

A small person was able to create it like using magic. A small coffee shop. He saved a little to invest in following his dream until it took shape. Determination is always seen in Junsu if it is something he loves to do.

I admit that I was very surprised. who received snacks delivered directly from Junsu's shop I once tasted some of his handmade snacks when Yoohwan brought some back for me and advertised their taste. Very delicious Have you ever tasted the taste of heaven when at a banquet you ordered desserts for your guests to taste? But this is the first time that Junsu personally sent it to me..what kind of snack will it be?...

I slowly opened the lid of the box with excitement. It's even more exciting than hoping for the last number with Yoohwan at home.

A light orange card, framed by a white center with small gold lines, sits in a slot at the base. White cellophane lined in a perfectly square shape. Next to it were three heart-shaped chocolates arranged side by side. On the gold foil paper used for wrapping, the shop's name is written on white wings that serve as Shop symbol

I didn't hesitate to pick up the sweet person's message card and read it first.

‘Whitechoc from Heaven’

It's a new type of dessert at the shop. I just tried making one to sell for Valentine's Day. I would like some 'feedback' from Yoochun hyung.

Junsu

Familiar handwriting from months ago, telling the purpose of sending the snacks for you to try. The content doesn't appear to be anything exciting, but my heart is racing. I feel like I'm starting to lust back. What kind of person...just seeing the handwriting..imagining soft, clear skin inviting to caress....but How can you blame me? Since every time I received a piece of paper with Junsu's handwriting on it, we always had to 'talk' in our own way.

I couldn't help but smile a little. I'm glad that Junsu saw the importance of wanting to taste the snacks he was experimenting with. I picked up a thumb-sized piece of chocolate and unwrapped it excitedly like a child. The golden paper candy was gently removed and spread out on the box before I had to examine it. Consider the shape of the chocolate which was thought to be heart-shaped at first..but enough I have come to see clearly. I think it looks strange...

I think it's like....um...would it be too obscene if I said it was...um....like a picture of...erm...buttocks....

As soon as you can find words to compare with the shape you try to imagine. My face suddenly became hot. So embarrassed by this snack, Park Yoochun is about to become psychotic. But those two curved bulges at one end are like Junsu's S-line, na...

Ah...so which side should I bite?

Persistence made me choose to bite into that part. The outer shell is cracked, giving a bitter taste but with the fragrant cocoa aroma of good chocolate. After chewing a few times, the contrasting sweetness and strong flavor flowed onto the tongue and mixed with the dar. Chocolate that waits until the bitterness disappears, leaving only the sweet, mellow aroma that invites Enjoy the gentleness.

I parted my lips to see. What is the stuffing inside? And must be shocked. It was a picture that no one would think of anywhere else. A cloudy white liquid flowed from the crevice of the arc I hadn't bit into. Some of it was smeared all over the rounded slit that ran all the way down to the base.

No need to let anyone guide you. No need for anyone to help interpret. A rush of dizziness rushed down to the bottom of his stomach until goosebumps rose all over his body. Alright then...so how do I deal with this thing that's getting stiffer? Of course, that's not the way to treat a bathroom as a living room. And who will be the one to help...must hold the cause responsible, right?

“Mr. Hwang, I have urgent business this afternoon and will not be attending the company. What should I leave behind? I won't answer the phone.”

Appreciate the efficiency of the engine of a car that costs hundreds of millions of won. because when its owner steps on it completely It did not disappoint, hurtling along the open road at a satisfying speed. It didn't take long for me to arrive at a bakery on the outskirts of town before pulling into my usual parking spot.

The two legs carried the figure of the bewildered man and walked all the way. The counter was full of people. When I got an answer from the employee who knew that Mr. Junsu was checking orders in his office, I immediately walked through the door that was reserved for the store's employees.

I didn't knock on the door. But the owner of the room was too engrossed in the pile of thick files to pay attention to who was coming in. This time, he didn't even stop to look because the discomfort in his lower body almost burst out inside. Just a few more minutes You just have to be patient in driving all the way here without dragging anyone into the hotel. He breathed, biting his lip until it almost drew blood.

I hurriedly walked towards him. Before placing the golden box down, the person's brow furrowed.

"I'm here to give you some advice and feedback." Ah...my voice was hoarse because my throat was dry. Is there anything sexier than this? Park Yoochun

Junsu looked up from the pile of documents. When he saw that it was me, he smiled and closed the file before getting up and walking to stand on the edge of the adjacent table.

“Is it delicious?” He looked at the box of chocolates before looking at me. A mischievous smile flashed across his face. Is it worth catching and biting your lip to stop being cheeky?

NC-17

move to

Block

Please.

After many battles beside the city walls, the warlords on both sides were succumbed to heavy floods and retreated to their bases. own stronghold

I surveyed my neatness in the corner of the room. Once the breathing rate and body condition return to normal I walked back to see the condition of the little person who was resting in the big work chair. Junsu leaned back on the chair, closing his eyes silently. He was probably restoring his strength back to normal. But when I heard the sound of me coming closer

He hurriedly turned his chair away from him, but it was too late. I was just in time to notice that the color of his cheeks had turned red from being haggard from being absorbed by the energy.

“Red Broker?” He is not color blind to the point of being unable to see. But I'm asking because I'm wondering if Junsu's feelings are slow or not. We had only just come to be embarrassed after a storm of emotions had swept us all over the place.

He didn't answer. Junsu hid behind the back of his high chair. So I had to sit and imagine what was causing him to have this embarrassing delay. Or is Junsu embarrassed for some other reason? I think back to before we started 'talking'...in the late afternoon. Where other people tend to nap Or drink tea and find a light snack to fill your stomach comfortably.

But instead, I dragged Park Yoochun, who was full of lust, to demand from people who were busy at work, forcing each other brazenly. Let's exercise indoors together. I don't care to ask about voluntariness. There was no consent given. And also dragged him away to snatch him. Next to the wall Oh my god...what will Junsu think?..but for sure..

He was probably reliving the scene.

“Embarrassed because you had sex next to the wall or embarrassed because you had quick sex in the afternoon?” I teased the person who was thinking about being cheeky and turned around.

And it worked. Junsu turned around in his chair, his face turning red. He locked eyes with Jung and pursed his lips tightly. Junsu was about to get up and swing his embarrassed punch at my handsome face if there wasn't a knock on the door to stop him. But the sentence that followed immediately extinguished my amusement.

“President Jun, Mr. Yuhwan called in.”

Finished the report from the other side of the door. Junsu suddenly showed signs that made me worried. His stubborn lips curled back into a tight pout. With the small body frozen in place before straightening itself and turning to face the other direction. Junsu's sparkling eyes softened to the point that I was afraid...I didn't want to relax when we spoke. We were chatting and teasing each other a moment ago and it disappeared.

“I'll be leaving soon,” Junsu said quietly. The people outside answered before silence enveloped both of us.

I looked at the side of Junsu's face, whose expression was so confused that his brows furrowed and furrowed. He was being hit with guilt just as intensely as I was. The name of my lover had so much influence on this little person that I didn't dare say anything. The two of us had just committed a grave mistake behind Yuhwan's back, when an innocent person like my younger brother came to show his right to seek honesty through a phone call.

After all, we just dug a hole to hide the case. Both Junsu and I...how are we supposed to feel?...We can't be happy in suffering. Yuhwan's 100 percent... at least the sin that was hit by a rocket... would be The extremely terrible feelings that were plaguing the two of us right now.

Junsu turned his head back and stared into my eyes. His eyes trembled and he asked the same question over and over until I had to look away. 'Do I love him?' was what Junsu wanted to know when he was shaken. When I saw that I couldn't give an answer like before. So he chose to walk past me and towards the door.

What should I do at this moment? Let him walk back to the person who can tell him he loves him every time he wants to listen. Or keep him with a selfish person who doesn't even have the word love for him? What should I do?

At a time when things are returning to their original state His body ordered him to restrain Junsu's wrist.

I don't know why I made that decision. Just fascinated by your brother's girlfriend's sex? Don't want Junsu to choose Yohwan over me? Or because I felt something for him?

Junsu looked at my hand. that held him tightly before moving up to look for the meaning of the action I felt myself giving him a pleading look. If Junsu chooses to remove my hand and walk away. I'm probably exhausted here.

And it was as I thought..Junsu pulled my hand away. But he didn't leave the room. Junsu reached behind me and picked up a box of chocolates and stuffed it into my hand for me to hold. Before a soft, warm touch from his small lips touched the skin of my cheek. seconds and then withdraw

“If you like it, I'll send it to you again.” The most beautiful smile I've ever seen when he gave it to Yohwan was fully visible on his face. Junsu was really smiling at me right now.

Once I realized that it wasn't a dream. I hurriedly answered, my voice shaking.

“Yes, I like it, I like it, I'll wait, Junsu.” I'm very happy, really glad that today Junsu walked away from me and not with a sad face like he always does.

I was happy with the positive reaction from the little person for a short time. I realized the fact that...I myself am a fool..

“I saw Junsu say that the other day you stopped by to pick up the snacks you ordered from his shop?”

Junsu actually paid more attention to me. But it was never on par with a true lover like Yoohwan. Even though Junsu didn't talk about the time they had a relationship, But he still told my brother every time I showed up to see him. He never hid it. This was after I started to dare to go see even though Junsu didn't invite me.

No matter how much he used to give me, he still gave that much...no more...no less...while... Yuhwan is still number one above me.

“Yes, it happens to be the director's birthday. And he really likes snacks from Junsu's shop. So the team worked together to buy and raise them.”

“You should have told me..” My younger brother made a confused sound, regretting the opportunity to stop by to see his lover. By using my brother's car. In the past, I would have been willing to drive around town to drop him off. So that he himself can claim that he met because he came to send Yuhwan off. But now...I have the courage to go face to face with him myself. The idea of ​​taking Yoo Hwan as his own didn't even cross my mind at all.

“You can find a reason to skip school to go see Junsu. And I went to get it myself because the manager had to join the company suddenly. How can I have time to call you?”

...I lied...

That day, I rescheduled all magazine interviews to volunteer people on set to go get snacks at Jun Su's shop, claiming to be people I knew. Everyone agreed, but the manager almost shook my head. It's good that I accepted the modeling job that my older brother recommended and I survived to sit and let my younger brother wonder. Playing like this

After the incident behind the store that day My reaction to Junsu's story seemed to be more intense. I don't know where the consideration I should have for my younger brother has gone. Recently Junsu has been more open with me. It made my heart swell and I wanted to ignore the guilt. I don't want to pay any more attention to it.

Different from before...now I started to feel envious. Want to own your whole body, time, feelings, thoughts, or even...love. But I had to suffer when I found out The time they spent together Every story that Yuhwan learned about Junsu was still an area that I couldn't touch.

...This time too...

“Oh, brother? It's strange, I'm coming home late.” Yuhwan walked down from the second floor humming a song in a good mood until he found me bending over to find something to eat in the kitchen.

...I was shocked... If it was normal to come home after work, I probably wouldn't have felt anything from his words. But today, I came back so late because I was too busy not getting up from his soft bed. Someone who has been hugging each other all night.

“Where are you going? Yuhwan, your face is so happy.” I greeted him to fix the situation because I saw that my good little brother was smiling and laughing all the time, like a crazy person. He was happy even though I was feeling cold and hot because of a punch in the back. It's not fair at all.

“I made an appointment with Junsu to go taste some snacks. I waited three days to wash my stomach for today.”

Yuhwan's answer made my world spin. He made an appointment in advance. Junsu plans to go on a date with Yoohwan. But he called me the night before?

I laughed, feeling sorry for myself inside. Mouth said goodbye to his brother. Joking that it would be difficult for Junsu not to faint and have to carry his wings. before taking himself to hide in his room to lick the fresh wound.

Do you see that? Where have I gotten smarter? I was touched by Junsu's kindness in sharing with his poor older brother. My heart has been attacked by the hope that comes with despair.

What should I do with this feeling? Now I am more aware of myself than before. Until I fear that someday If I could answer myself to the question Junsu asked, People want to know, will they still wait to hear it?

At this time...I only ask for strength. Just a little heart Enough for me to nourish my parched heart Holding him back until he danced, waiting for the day he would look at me and ask me a question. That...I will not hesitate...I will confidently say everything I record. Tight...everything I am about...can't be translated into anything other than words. That...love....

...I love Kim Junsu....

And suddenly my request seemed to come true.

“..Yochun hyung..” Yuhwan's chin call made me take my eyes off the newspaper and turn to look at the person who was sitting with his knees bent, hugging a pillow next to each other.

“Huh? What's wrong? His face was so tired that the whole area was wrinkled.”

The person being teased turned around and slammed. Day by day, my brother's irritating behavior will become more powerful.

“Whoa! I'm still cool, um...that's right, I'm not that old yet. Why are you so sluggish?” The first sentence turned to me angrily. Then he turned back and muttered to himself.

“What's wrong with you? Suddenly complaining about age It's almost menopause, so I can reminisce." I laughed before reaching for the coffee cup on the table and taking a sip.

“It's still a long time. But...Yuchun hyung...is it strange that people who have been together for half a year have never kissed?”

Wow!!!! Finished off with a hot cappuccino that I made myself. But let it be. There are other things that are more interesting.

“What are you so shocked about? I lost all my confidence.” He pursed his lips before picking up a tissue and handing it to him. I picked it up to protect my mouth, which was coughing until my ears and eyes were red.

“Just a little, you and Junsu?”

Yuhwan nodded, mouth open, eyes sad.

“You haven't kissed yet?”

He nodded again. Plus, I have a blush on my cheeks having to talk about things in secret with my own brother, but I don't care. If I haven't even kissed him yet, then....

"So you've never had anything to do with him yet?" He spoke so directly that the listeners' eyes widened. But Yoohwan probably knew that an acting career like mine would be considered normal. So I turned back to sitting and hugging my pillow as usual.

“Uncle...I want to preserve him. Junsu looks like a serious person. If I resist, I'm reckless and have hopes of being asked to break up."

That's true, but only half the time. Or because I still don't have anything to do with him, so I never have to worry about it?

“Well, don't be impatient. If you love him, you have to wait for him to be ready.” I told you that I would only choose to be stupid about certain things. However, Yuhwan gave me the opportunity to act as a good older brother and give him advice. If I don't accept it Then hurry to seize the opportunity to possess a charming body all to yourself. I would be so stupid about everything that I would be stuck in the mud and never open my eyes or ears.

“I already know. That's how it was intended. But I don't know how I feel depressed.”

I understand, little one. When I see you sad, my heart shrinks. But secretly whispered a little, Behind the mask, the older brother entered a corner. I'm really happy. I want to get up and do the rumba dance and show off the sunshine in the late morning. I'm not deaf, right? Junsu has never been deep with Yoohwan. Plus, the kiss that he had been so jealous of, my younger brother had never been able to get.

What good news will there be this year that makes me more excited than this? Wait a minute, I can hardly hold back my smile. What should I do?

“Alright, if there's something you need to talk to me about,” I told him and quickly pulled up the newspaper to hide a wide smile. But I couldn't be happier than that...

"Um, telling me that makes me feel relieved."

I hiccuped, but it only felt like I was being poked with a needle and itchy. Lately, I've gotten used to pretending to be clever and fooling my younger brother every day. Am I so evil that I encourage others to become friends with fools?

“...Yuchun hyung...” Yuhwan called me up after we were lost in our own thoughts for a while.

“What else?” He pretended to make a deep voice to cover up his nervousness and fear of being found out.

“Today I will go see Junsu at the store. I'll drive the car to you. I don't have any money to fill up with gas."

Oh...what did we think was the matter? Tricking me into feeling depressed again, you little brat.

“Okay, let's go.” I pretended to be unwilling to go, but in reality, my heart was so excited that I wanted to meet a cute person. Because now Yohwan and I's status is so close that I want to hold Junsu and hug him. Fight until you are satisfied.

Ah...so happy.

But then...that world-shattering truth expression like 'Happiness usually doesn't last long.' It came back to hurt me again.

"oh!! How did Yoochun get here? Both brothers and sisters come like this. You probably weren't secretly stalking me, right?”

“...Jaejoong...”

The name of the person I never expected to meet in Junsu's shop automatically slipped out of my mouth. The heart that was once swollen in the chest shrunk and was reduced to just a withered balloon. who had just been released from the air, immediately a white face turned to greet him with an expression of astonishment.

“Hello, beautiful Jaejoong,” Yu Huanqing greeted, overtaking me who was just standing there stunned. Before rushing in to rub his face against his older brother's upper arm, his eyes widening like he always did.

“Hey Yuhwan, you can play like a kid. When will I be able to find a girlfriend, huh?” Jaejoong pushed my little brother's head until he fell silent. before rubbing his thick, black hair until it looked unruly

“Don't look down on me. This is my girlfriend.” Yuhwan hurriedly touched his own hair before brushing it away. keep it in place and ran behind the counter when he saw Junsu coming out from inside.

“Ha!! Junsu is Yoohwan's boyfriend?!! If you're wrong, you can think again, friend.” Jaejoong looked at the possessive arm that was wrapped around Junsu's shoulder and asked loudly.

“Why do we have to think again? I'm a good person, sincere, and I love Junsu, who is number one in the world.” Yoohwan frowned. Before spreading her hands wide, she confessed the amount of love she loved in front of her boyfriend.

“Wow!! That much!! Where did you fall for it? Junsu,” Jaejoong laughed at Yoohwan's eccentricity. before turning to tease Junsu through the counter which he smiled shyly The friendly attitude was familiar to the point of teasing, causing my younger brother to volunteer as a mouthpiece. A voice asked instead of the doubt in both of our hearts.

“Does Jaejoong hyung know Junsu too?”

Jaejoong looked at the face of the person asking and smiled. before turning to smile so meaningfully at the little person that I felt suffocated.

“Ahem, Junsu and I have been close friends since we were at confectionery school in Japan.”

The answer was like a bolt of lightning that struck my brain and made me go awry. Can't find any reason Let's protest against the theory of 'the world is round' that repeatedly rushes in and hits us in the face.

"oh!! Best friends from different sides.” Yoohwan, who was clapping his hands in pleasure, was so overbearing that Jaejoong had to lean past the counter. He grabbed his cheek and stretched it out as punishment for daring to tease the elder.

“You have such a good mouth, Yu-ha-wan.” The white man said my brother's name syllable by syllable while squeezing his cheeks until they stretched out. With a small person standing and laughing.

Jaejoong and my younger brother's familiarity seemed to make him feel small. He also had doubts. If Jaejoong didn't know before that Yoohwan knew Junsu. It means that Junsu himself probably doesn't know how Jaejoong came to be close to my family.

“Oh..so how did Yuhwan know Jaejoong?” The little man's smile faded as he turned to ask the person next to him who was standing and caressing his own cheek.

“Well...oh brother...why are you just standing there? Recommend it!!” Yuhwan shrugged. Before throwing an important role that I didn't want to accept

I kept thinking, what should I say? Eyes searched from The expectant look in Jaejoong's eyes was given to the person who had always stood silently. Yohwan's teasing eyes and cheeky smile that appear when I'm with Jaejoong, but what cuts my heart the most are... those that show disappointment when I know.

What's wrong with the attitude of the people around you...

“Uh...Jaejoong is...my boyfriend...”

Since...that rabbit is reflecting what I am currently...not wrong at all...

No matter how much time I spent chasing after empty love Just like the rabbit, who put in all his energy from the start. In my mind I saw the finish line clearly in front of me. We are sure that in this competition we will win great prizes. But then...the turtle suddenly appeared...

Jaejoong, who was only consistent, won from the beginning...he ran past where I was standing all the way to the finish line without me being able to do anything..

But I'm probably a lot worse than that rabbit. Because I chose to stand up and stop standing there. I was shocked and the turtle and I were not enemies like in the story...but best friends...so I just stared at the beautiful turtle who took the trophy that belonged to him. It came from the beginning and came back from my thoughts.

Even though I was very tired after just running for a short time, But the distance that passed seemed to be very long. It occupied my heart for so long that I no longer expected the reward. I want to bid farewell to the competition that unfairly stole half of my life away.

Until the day I decided to harm the body and mind of the people waiting for me to run towards the finish line. Because I already know that the person he is there is waiting to receive love. It wasn't me from the beginning.

Kim Junsu....a fool....and then you have to suffer yourself...I just did something that I never thought I'd do with Yoochun hyung..I never thought there would be a day. That I'm willing to let this man out of my life...but please...I don't want to be sensitive to love in the wrong place like this again...I don't want to be hurt that Yoochun hyung doesn't. Have you ever seen the value...

Just one touch of it made me nearly unable to stand... I didn't want to experience the disappointment of nearly killing a stupid human being. Like I'm slowly dying....again....

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

“...Junsu...” A soft voice came through and a light touch touched his hair. Warmth penetrated the senses and sent straight to the tired brain. He responded with a command and let clear water droplets flow out of his eyes, heating up at the edges of his eyes.

I swallowed every feeling that was tight and disappeared with tears. Then he turned to face the eyes that caused the guilt inside to overflow. Yuhwan looked down at me with concern. The worried expression still conceals kindness that is only for me.

“These days you seem depressed. Is it a lot of work? Do you want to hire more people?” He said slowly, but the number of questions made me know that in his heart he probably wasn't asking questions like the weather.

...My stress must have clearly had an effect on my body, making Yuhwan feel anxious....

“It's okay, Yuhwan. Not enough sleep during this time It will be better if I rest.” I wasn't lying because Yoochun hyung's persistent behavior made me unable to sleep. And even more so after I kicked him out of my life. It made me lose my appetite as well.

I choose to say what I need to say and what I think is right. I've lied to him a lot in the past. I don't want to add to the burden that's been piling up in my heart.

“Then I'd better go back first. You will get some rest.”

Later, I had to stay at the store. Yoohwan also brought his belongings, books, and movies to keep him company. Because he didn't want me to be alone after the store closed. At about 10:00 p.m. he would return home and in the early morning he would bring Mrs. Park's cooking to say good morning.

He laughed when I asked him why he refused to stay the night. Before saying that...I'm afraid I won't be able to resist...but I believe it. That even though he stayed in the same room as me all night Yoohwan still remained a gentleman without fail. That made me feel more uncomfortable when I was alone with him in this office. Because this place was too dirty and shameful for a clean white person like Yuhwan to fool around.

“Yuhwan,” I wasn't going to hold him back. Just now I feel like I want him next to me. Just a little more...only...

Seems selfish, right? Worried about love with his brother But he came back to be comforted by his lover who is his younger brother. You can scold me, you can scold me. Right now I don't have the energy to argue with anyone.

Yuhwan turned around at the sound of his voice. He looked at my face for a moment before he smiled fondly as if he saw me as a little child seeking attention. He placed all his belongings next to the door. Before walking back, he sat down on the sofa opposite the desk I was sitting at. Yoohwan grabbed my favorite pillow that I used to sleep on every night and placed it on my lap before beckoning me to come over to him.

When I sat down next to him A good father patted me on the pillow in his lap, but when he saw me he still didn't understand. He bent my head down and let me lie down on the warm pillow. Yuhwan gently stroked along the hairline before speaking slowly

“You didn't tell me what you were stressed about, that's okay. I don't want you to suffer because you're worried about telling or not. I'll wait to hear what you have to say. I'll ignore you if you don't care about it. Whatever you are comfortable doing, I will help you with everything, do you understand?”

The content was as if he was unraveling the knot that held my heart tightly, one brittle at a time. It made me unable to hold back my tears. I admit that I was very stressed because I decided to do something for my dear friend by hurting my own heart. Another thing I'm still thinking about a lot is because I still have to hide Yohwan. I keep thinking about whether or not I should tell him if I intend to stay with him.

Should I be honest at the risk of damaging our relationship?

I only moaned loudly in my throat because I was only able to respond. How much will he make me feel good and bad at the same time until we're satisfied...this lover of mine...

“Right now you just feel the pressure and are tired of it. It can be very difficult to adjust to something you're not used to. But if you wait to find success one day When you look back, you will see the great value you gained from those times. And you won't forget that I'll always be by your side, right?"

I nodded, closing my eyes to the feel that spread along my hairline. Right now I feel so weak. I am just a fledgling bird who has yet to escape from the warm and safe nest to face the harsh real world. I'm probably still very lucky. When Somsan returned, there was still Yuhwan who spread his wings to protect and heal the heart that had been abused. And hope...it will get better...someday...

[b]

Bang~!!!!![/

b]

The sound of the door swinging against the wall made me jump up from Yuhwan's lap. Looking at the person who had just attacked the entrance to my office, I had to rush in to catch the frail figure that was about to fall to the ground.

“Jaejoong!!!”

“Hee hee hee Junsu.”

The arms that supported my limp body made me realize that My dear friend is in very bad condition. Her beautiful face was filled with tears streaming down both cheeks. The nose and lips are bright and swollen. Jaejoong kept calling my name and sobbing over and over. It's like someone is losing their mind. What happened to my friend who was indifferent to everything around him?

Who or what caused my friend who always had a smile that radiated happiness to be so sad?

“What's wrong, Jaejoong?” I asked anxiously when I saw how hard I was sobbing. But the more I heard the voice of concern, the more the arms that held me hugged me tightened as if they needed something to hold onto.

“Oh, Yoochun hyung...he...has someone else.” Jaejoong shook his head as he lamented a story that he seemed not yet ready to accept. As for me, I can hear it. He almost forgot and disappeared for a moment. A feeling of fear rushes up until it tingles.

...or does Jaejoong already know everything?....

I didn't dare to ask. I didn't even dare to look at my friend's face. Is he staring at me accusingly? I only looked at my hands that were holding my thin waist tightly, but I felt strangely weak. Until Yuhwan must have noticed that I was starting to feel unbearable. So he touched his shoulder to wake him up so they could help him to sit on the sofa.

Once he had a secure shelter, Jaejoong let out another big yelp, not paying attention to his surroundings. I just sat next to him. He rubbed his head and comforted himself without saying anything, allowing his friend to let his outburst of emotions subside first. Yoohwan stood with his arms crossed and looked at me and Jaejoong with a confused expression. Probably because the person at the beginning of the story is his own brother.

Yoohwan didn't know what to do. When the moaning sound began to fade So he walked over and stood next to me before rubbing my head and pressing my nose down.

“Then I'll go back. You stayed as Jaejoong's friend for now. As for Yoochun hyung, I'll go see for myself.” I nodded. before smiling until Yuhwan walked out the door.

When Jaejoong saw that his lover's younger brother was not in the area, he opened his mouth and spoke in a tense voice.

“He had someone else while I wasn't here.” My heart dropped as soon as I heard it. But I still made up my mind to continue asking in case Yoochun hyung had anyone else besides me.

“How do you know?”

“Since we met again Yoochun hyung wasn't paying attention to me like usual. He was always working or pressing send messages. I was curious so I opened it to see. If people are lovers, there's nothing to hide, right? But when he saw me, he shouted at me loudly. Scolded until my face went numb. I didn't think I'd hear words like that come out of his mouth.

I'm even more certain that he must really care about that person.”

“And have you read those messages?” I'm not sure if the person Jaejoong said was referring to me or not? But if so...the person who made Jaejoong have to be talked down to by mean people is me...

“I didn't have time to read it. Otherwise, I probably already know who it is. Why did he do this to me, Junsu? We've been together for almost seven years. How can he do this? Even though our relationship didn't begin because of love But in the past I felt very good about him. So why did you choose someone else over me?”

Jaejoong blurted out helplessly. But I felt relieved and felt good to hear that Yoochun hyung considers me important. But I have to hurry and pull myself back from this vain dream because actually....Yuchun hyung probably isn't the only one with me...

“So what are you going to do now?” I asked because I was worried about Jaejoong. I don't know how hard I've been through this and how much I can still maintain a steady heart? And whether Jaejoong chooses to continue or end the journey The cracks that formed would make my friend unable to escape the pain.

“I won't give in!! He can't do this to me!! Yoochun hyung is responsible for making me feel this bad. That person is the same. I will have him kneel at my feet and apologize. Just wait and see!!”

The path Jaejoong chose was as if my dear friend was ordering me to cut out my heart and end my life. Am I being driven away by my karma until I spit out blood? Is the friend I love the most going to point at me and call me a traitor? Why does my heart hurt like never before?

It was as if it had been squeezed and almost shattered. Is it because I didn't love Jaejoong enough that I accidentally hurt my best friend? Was it me that caused our friendship to fall apart because of just one man?

....It's all because of me...

The sound of the door opening rang out in my reverie, causing me, who was drowning in a puddle of sorrow, to raise my head to consider the state of the world. My body was shaking uncontrollably. If no one had interrupted him, Jaejoong would have known for sure that I was the person he wanted to strangle to death in front of him.

“Yuhwan?” I said in surprise when I saw the person who had just left ten minutes ago. Showing your face into the room

“I forgot my shirt. Anyway, will Jaejoong hyung come back with me? If you love each other, let's talk to find out. Even though I don't know what happened. But what do you do to sit and moan about it?” Yuhwan walked over and picked up another jacket that he had left on the sofa. Then he turned to complain and complain to his beautiful-faced brother.

“I came to give Junsu some comfort. Can you not bother me? You don't understand anything and just take sides with your own brother.” Jaejoong flicked his eyes and bit him. Before giving away the extras

“Can't be bothered. Junsu is my boyfriend and right now he's not doing well. Look at your friend's face first. You're so pale you'll probably be sick.” Yuhwan said with a serious expression, not playing around like usual. causing Jaejoong to turn and stare at me inquisitively. before being taken aback when he saw his friend's deteriorated condition

“It's okay, Yuhwan. Jaejoong is sad. Please leave us alone.” Even if I am hurt to death. But if a friend is in trouble or is in distress I'm willing to force my body to stay beside him, but it seems like Jaejoong's good friend is no less good than mine.

“It's okay, Junsu. I'll go back first. You look a lot worse than me.... You're not a good person. How do you take care of your classmates? Let's break up. Let Junsu go in a good way,” my friend confirmed. before turning to blame my lover for not taking good care of me

“Come here, you naughty brother. Let's make a fuss and stop. I'll feel it in a moment.” Yuhwan pouted. before coming over and pulling Jaejoong to follow him out. But it seemed like Yoohwan's words made Jaejoong immediately decide on the question I had left asking.

“Yay!! You dare to threaten me? I won't let go of Yoochun hyung, you know this!!”

His answer slammed into my heart and almost made me stagger. It is already Jaejoong's right to hold onto Yoochun hyung. No matter what he says But when it comes to relationships, it depends on both parties. If Jaejoong doesn't give up Many more problems will follow.

So why do I think about it?...I intend to break up with him....so why do I think about it in case they break up?

“Then I'll come and complain. Why are you bothering my Junsu?” Yuhwan must have been worried about me, who stood there staggering and watched the two of them argue with each other for a long time. He frowned at his senior. Before both agreed to a temporary truce because they were worried about Kim Junsu's health.

...which I really feel for you. Because right now just standing still is very difficult. The stories that I had known throughout the day were overflowing and piling up everywhere. I don't know which part to start dealing with first. Now my brain works so slowly and it's frustrating. The workings of the body and the mind are completely incompatible.

I must really be in a bad state like Jaejoong said...

“Shit, you dog-mouthed bastard. Let's go get some pedigree.” Jaejoong left his goodbyes to Yohwan and shook his head and walked out of the room.

“I will go back first, Junsu. Get some rest.” My lover gave me a small smile before following him out without forgetting to gently close the door.

As soon as the light from outside is blocked The darkness in the room made me relax from the tension I had to maintain my normal self in front of the two of them. When I started to release the awkwardness His legs were so weak that he had to collapse on the floor and rest his head on the sofa cushion. I let so many thoughts flow by without thinking about picking up any issues to ponder again...now let me rest for a moment...I'm tired...so tired....

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

After that day...I learned from Yuhwan that Jaejoong and Yoochun hyung still haven't come to an understanding. Because everyone is different. So no one agreed to give it to me first. There was only confusion between the two families when meeting face to face. Suspicions about the third-party ownership of the messages have not been proven. But I can be sure that it wouldn't be me. Because the Miss Call that is bombarding us every day is as if the house is the owner of the network instead of being a rising star. It has come back to disturb my daily life again after being away for a while after receiving a white envelope from me.

....Why haven't you stopped bothering me yet?

“What are you staring at, Yoohwan?” I turned to ask my lover who had been staring at me the entire time since we walked out of the store together.

Today, Yoohwan didn't have class, so he came with me to go out and contact the store that supplies ingredients. Because the destination is not far away So I chose to walk through the lightly falling snow instead of taking the bus as usual.

“Is this the scarf I bought you?”

I looked down at the chocolate scarf that Yoohwan had bought me for my recent birthday. I really like it so I wear it with me all the time. But recently I had to remove it from my neck to use as water to chase away a mad dog from the store. Which when the team came back again, it had disappeared. So I had to go shopping and buy a similar one instead...

The piece you are wearing is therefore a new piece...

“Oh, why are you suddenly asking?” Was I lucky that I bought a replacement just in time?

“It's Jaejoong. He came to talk to me about you.” My best friend's name caused me to frown.

“About class? What do you say?”

“Strange, right? He told me to be careful of you wearing horns.”

"Eh?!!"

“I think he was too jealous of Yoochun hyung and bullied him. He said you messed with Yoochun hyung. He said he found this scarf of yours in Yoochun hyung's room. You look like you're really serious, haha.” Yuhwan laughed as if he was telling a joke. But I couldn't help but laugh.

If it's true what Yoohwan said, then Jaejoong already knows the person Yoochun hyung is in contact with all the time. The person who ruined their love was me.

I get goosebumps thinking about every gesture Jaejoong made in reference to a third party. Jaejoong looked angry as if he was going to kill him. And what if he finds out that it's me?...What will happen?...

...And more than that...Yuhwan, do you believe it?....

“So...and what did you answer?”

“I told him that 'If Jaejoong hyung doesn't trust Yoochun hyung, it's your right. But I trust my Junsu. Because we love each other as much as the heavens.’ I didn't say that last thing to make you want me to take revenge on you, keke.”

I was stunned...Before, I knew that Yoohwan loved me very much...loved me to the point of agreeing to many things...whatever he did, he always relied on my comfort...never made me feel like... Loving him is a difficult thing at all...but after listening to the simple words he answered, From my heart without thinking too much...I remembered that the word 'much' would not be enough....Yohwan's love was even greater than that.

Yuhwan's stability is like the warm light of a small match lit in the midst of a blizzard raging over me now.

What makes him love and trust me this much? What makes him continue to pour out so much love for someone like me who is endlessly selfish? What's the point of being such a good person? How long will you allow me to betray you over and over again, Yuhwan?

......And if someday...you know the whole truth...will you still stick to your promise?...will you still be by my side?

If that day really comes Well...how can I live without his love to fill my breath...

"Thank you." I really couldn't hold it back. All the tears that flowed I want to give in return for his love. There may not be equal value. But I want to thank him..I want to thank my lover...really...

“Hey!! Did Junsu cry at all? Did I really make you feel that much? Don't cry.” Yuhwan was startled, turning left and right. before pulling me in for a comforting hug The gentle touch that rubbed along my back made me unable to stop myself from breaking.

...Can't help it. Who let you do this when people are sensitive?...

“Ah...but you can sing. You're crying because you're happy, right? What should I do? I saw you cry and it made me happy. I have a bad personality, right?” I secretly saw that he could hardly hold back his smile. Come on...whatever it takes...

“No, no, no, you are a very good person, really very good.”

My answer made him smile even wider. Yuhwan tightened his embrace. Hands caressed and comforted without fail.

“At first, I didn't know whether to tell you or not. I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. You and I are very close. And why did Jaejoong become so crazy? But it's okay, Junsu. Whatever anyone says, whatever. You still have class. Brother Jaejoong, he ghosts in and ghosts out....”

Yoohwan kept complaining to Jaejoong. But I didn't listen. Because I was in shock over the truth that I feared the most... Jaejoong already knew about it...

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

I was very stressed after returning to the store. But when I think about it again...I shouldn't have made such a big fuss. Maybe Jaejoong isn't sure yet. Because he only had a scarf as proof. But if Jaejoong truly knew everything I should do something to make it clear. To erase every mistake I made So I decided to answer Yoochun hyung's call that afternoon.

[...Junsu....] A sorrowful voice came through the phone. It made my heart shiver, but only for a moment. Because the past pain has taught me to be stronger.

“I don't think you understand what I'm saying. Why don't you just stop messing with me!! We should retreat to our original places!!” He and I should stay in our own places. We should care about our own people very much. Yes...it should be like that to be correct.

[I won't give in...I won't give in, Junsu...why...why? We get along well, don't we? Why don't you sympathize with me?]

“You are the one who doesn't sympathize with me. Yoohwan is my lover. Jaejoong is my close friend. Don't you understand how difficult it is for me?!!” I felt uncomfortable. I was so tired of wearing a mask all the time that I almost suffocated. Why didn't he think of it?

[What about you? You've come to make me so lost. and then thought of simply striking away Is it like this? What do you do with your heart?..Kim Junsu...]

I sighed heavily... Yoochun hyung acted like he wouldn't listen to anything. It made me have no strength to continue talking.

“So you don't feel sorry for me? Why won't you let me go? I'm begging you, for the sake of letting you go so much. Please take pity on me. I can't take it anymore,” I said softly. I'm tired of talking to people who keep their ears closed. There's nothing better, so why waste more energy?

[no!! If you're going bad I'm about to die because of you too. Let it be known that you can cut me out of your life. If you have to lose, let it all be ruined!!]

I can't believe my ears.... Yoochun hyung has gone crazy.. he's been so consumed by his hot emotions that I won't return... but I won't let him ruin the life of the person I love!!

“You are a disgusting man!! I can't kick you out of my life because of Yoohwan. Please know this!! But I will never know your existence in my world again!!” I shouted at the phone before throwing it on the ground until it shattered into pieces. I admit that I can't stand this man any longer. Why is he so stubborn and stubborn?!!

Paste~!! Heavy rhythmic applause It made me, who was extremely angry, flinch.

“Your voice must be as sweet as your candy and your body. Other boyfriends have to call every day.”

“Jaejoong!!!” I called out the person's name, not believing what he had just said to me.

“What are you shocked about? I just came to visit a close friend I've been with for a long time out of nostalgia. Why do you act like you don't want to welcome me? Isn't that a bit rude?" Jaejoong stood with his arms crossed on his chest, leaning against the door frame, speaking in such a cold voice that I began to feel bad.

"floor..."

“Oh...maybe you don't know what customs you should follow?” I widened my eyes as if asking what he meant?

“Jaejoong...why do you say this?” I held back my courage to ask even though my heart was starting to catch on to him. That Jaejoong must have heard what I was talking to his lover just now. And my friend probably knows the past story...more or less...

Which I guessed correctly... because after finishing the question... the cold smile on the beautiful face changed into a smooth, tight mouth with big eyes that shone as if they were very angry at me.

“Do I still have to ask? Huh!! Kim Junsu, will you dare to take kind words? From someone who was betrayed by you again? How brazen can you be?!!” Jaejoong rushed over and pulled my arm towards me before shaking it harshly without mercy. The look in Jaejoong's eyes that stared deep into my eyes contained only a fire of destruction that almost burned away any glimmer of hope in my heart.

“Jaejoong!!” I called out to him. Because even if Jaejoong knew what But that was in the past. He shouldn't have scolded me so harshly.

"Why? Even though I said I didn't prepare a script, I'm sure there won't be any mistakes. Because it came from the mouth of a friend who has always been sincere to you!!” Jaejoong pushed me away. before throwing something at it until it hit the face hard.

“Ouch!!” I held onto my left eye socket because I felt the pain of being hit by something hard. Before using his other eye to look at the many things that had fallen at his feet.

“This torn scarf!! Snacks like this that I saw at your shop!! Ten sheets of your handwritten notes!! You probably don't have to read what it says!! Are you going to bring any more evidence? You stubborn villain!!”

I couldn't respond to my friend's angry words. I could only look at those things in turn and gulped. The scarf that I pulled until it fell off my neck Yoochun hyung really kept it. So...a glittering golden candy box with heart-shaped chocolate that only one person in the world has ever tasted....

A note with a message that the more you write and send to each other, the deeper the relationship becomes.... I have nothing else to explain to Jaejoong...

When I saw him, I couldn't argue. Jaejoong smiled as he looked at the defendant who had no excuse.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to ask some questions..."

“..." I looked up from those things. Look at the face of the officer who is setting up the table to interrogate me. When Jaejoong saw that I had nothing to object, he swallowed hard, suppressing his emotions before asking in a cold voice.

“How long have you been doing this? You and Yoochun hyung....have been secretly eating each other behind my back for how long?!!” His initially calm tone turned into a shout when he probably couldn't hold back his raging emotions.

I have nothing to answer. Or actually... I don't know if the things I hid from Yohwan and Jaejoong are hurting because of my actions. How long should it be hit?....Since I never knew anything...

"If you don't answer, I'll change the question."

“Why don't you quit? At first, you didn't know what I was talking about. But now that I know....why are you still in contact? Why do you still make Yoochun hyung..” Jaejoong asked as if I was the cause of the endless chaos. Even though I wanted to end everything since I knew Jaejoong's status. But it's because of who doesn't think of giving it up once and for all...

The people who are suffering because of this humiliating situation right now are not just Jaejoong's lovers...don't you know that?...

“Kim Junsu!! Answer me!!” When he saw me keeping quiet, he turned away. Jaejoong, who wouldn't let anyone ignore him, came straight up and grabbed my arm and shook it until we both threw up. His long nails dug into my arms without any effort.

“I'm hurt, Jaejoong!!”

“It hurts?...I feel hurt...it hurts so much..it hurts knowing that the lover I devoted my heart to for more than seven years has betrayed me. Now Yoochun hyung sees me as an air element. I saw that it was toxic smoke that he couldn't stay in the room with. Are you still not satisfied?!! But it hurts more than that, Junsu...you know that right?...because That person is a boss!!

The person who took Yoochun hyung away from me is the person I love and trust the most!! How can you pretend to be honest while listening to the class vent about Yoochun hyung? Huh!! Junsu, how did you do it?!!” Jaejoong raised his voice and asked impatiently. Tears flowed down her cheeks in a long way. I sobbed until I was shaking, making me feel sorry for him who had to be in this situation because I was the cause. I felt so bad that I let out a loud yelp.

“Heck Jaejoong, I'm sorry..sorry,” was all I could say to him. It really can't think of anything. Besides wanting him to forgive

"cry? Why are you crying? Do you feel guilty? Do you act like you do dramas every time?” The more you saw me, the more I sobbed as well. Jaejoong dug his nails into my arm even harder. His face looked hurt, disappointed, and completely devoid of trust in me.

“Jaejoong, I really haven't been in contact with Yoochun hyung anymore. Please believe me. He called just now..” He didn't let me explain. Jaejoong suddenly interrupted without any face.

"Oh..are you saying that my boyfriend acts stupid, pretends not to know, and pushes her to bully you? Heh, that's a good thing to say."

I shake my head nervously. I didn't want him to understand that I was trying to make a defense or anything. I just want him to know that I didn't intend to hurt Jaejoong at all...I never even thought about it...

“Yuchun hyung who was more honest with me than anyone else. He changed because of you. But I'll tell you something...I won't spit out the breast meat from my mouth. If you're still going to fight for the same piece of meat as me, Just keep pushing it until someone runs out of energy first. Otherwise, they will bite each other to death.”

“Jaejoong, no!!” Why did he say this? I never wanted us to be enemies. Why did he have to act against me? Why does he talk like all our years of friendship are worthless?

“It doesn't end with today, Junsu. But I'll give you time to prepare yourself. For Yuhwan's sake, he loves you so much. I will use the word friend between us today is the last day. Give you a chance to think.”

“Jaejoong, please, I love you.” I tried to beg him not to cut short our friendship. I couldn't stand it.

“Huh, I want to warn you, Junsu. If you still insist on wanting other people's things. Your life will be torn to pieces.” Jaejoong squeezed my arm to make sure I could hear every word he said clearly. Before releasing his hand, he turned and walked away.

“Jaejoong!! Huh, Jaejoong..." I watched the thin back of my face disappear from view without even having the strength to run after and hold my dear friend. I collapsed onto the cold floor of the room. His heart squeezed so tightly that it ached, as if someone had pressed it down so it couldn't pump blood like usual. It was stuffed in my chest to the point of being completely uncomfortable. Suffering but unable to do anything

The sorrow poured out without stopping. It's so much I let the tears bring out the pain for myself to know...I will never receive love from Kim Jaejoong again....

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

“Junsu!! Junsu!!” The first voice after I was branded a traitorous friend. Why does it have to be the voice of someone I really don't want to hear?

The person who was the cause of all this still had a face appear in this room. Why would he have to destroy the peace that I had worked so hard to create since yesterday evening?

Elder Yoochun ran with an alert expression and opened the door to enter a room without light. I guessed it from the shadows. That he was probably walking around the room trying to figure out where I was. I don't know how he got here? Or why did you come? But now I don't want to see him.

...The person who caused my friendship with Jaejoong to fall apart....

The smelly sigh of boredom probably made Yoochun hyung guess my location. The shadow moved and stopped in front of him. But before he could touch any part of me My tolerance was almost exhausted and I could no longer bear to breathe the air in the same room as him.

“Get out, get out!! Please stop ruining my life. Stop trampling on my feelings. I'm not your toy!!” I screamed and chased him away from here. I squirmed violently when he tried to hold me close. I punched him, unable to look as if I didn't want him to come closer. But Yoochun hyung still broke through the cordon and grabbed me firmly.

“You never saw us as toys, Junsu!!” His firm voice made me stop protesting for a moment. But thinking that this person was using words to convince me to become a victim every time made me not want to give in.

“Then why are you doing this to me?!! Why are you torturing me?!!” I still refused to stay silent easily. I twisted my body out of his grip every once in a while. But the other party seemed to hold onto it so tightly that it was helpless.

“Listen to me!! Do you think it doesn't hurt you to see me like this?!!” Yoochun hyung scolded me as if he wanted to teach a lesson to a naughty kid who always went on a hysterical rampage and didn't listen to anyone.

His words made me stop resisting. Tears that had dried up since yesterday came back up just hearing that he understood how sad I was because of the decision I had made. Both at the beginning with high spirits, not caring about anyone, putting your own needs first. Or even the final episode where you decide to end everything for something you think is more important. But in the end...I had nothing left..

I'm crying...at my shallow thoughts. of yourself that causes others pain

I'm sad...that I still feel good about this little gentleness from this person. The embrace that I have been yearning for with every breath since we met. The love that I wish to own even though it must come at the expense of many others' pain. I hate myself so much that my heart softens just because he holds me like this.

And I hate myself even more when my old habits It ordered me to say words that hurt my own heart.

“I slept with Yoohwan. I let him go. Our stories have nothing to do with each other. I chose him.”

The comforting hand on my back stopped. Before Yoochun unnie loosened his arms to look at me. His dark eyes flickered, as if pleading that what I said was just a joke. But I chose to keep a straight face. Refusing to show the trembling inside for him to see. When choosing to cut I will do it.

“You lied. You never…” His words were so confident that they made me smile. I know he doesn't like my defiance. But the more I don't like it. The more I wanted to provoke him into anger. I was hurt and wanted him to be hurt too. I've gone too deep to pull myself back.

“Why not?!! You're only with me when we have sex. What will you come to know? What did you know?!!”

The gestures, the words, whatever it was that made Yoochun hyung feel like I was looking down on him. I show it all I still force myself to run my hand over the rose stem even though the thorns are pricking until it's dripping...the satisfaction that comes in exchange for excruciating pain.

...We humans are stupid like this...

“Don't say that, Junsu, you're making me angry.” Yoochun hyung gently pushed me, who was sitting on my knees. Lie face up on the sofa. Eyes flashing with anger mixed with pain, they stared at the person who was speaking incoherently. before turning to his side to suppress his emotions I know Yoochun hyung doesn't want to fight. He probably intended to cool down as much as possible to talk things out. But so what? Do you think I'll stop? There's no way!!

“So what are you going to do?!! Can you resist me because you're angry? Take it!! Go ahead!! I will know that it really is just that between us.” I still stubbornly continued to challenge him fiercely.

Yoochun hyung turned his face back and stared at me as if he was going to eat my flesh and blood. But for a moment, his eyes softened until my heart fluttered. Yoochun hyung moved towards me, who was placing his arms behind him to support himself in his seat. The distance between us keeps shrinking. Until I had to close my eyes tightly I thought he would hurt me like he had dared. But the warm breath that accompanied the words in his ear shook Kim Junsu's entire world in a way he never dreamed he would one day hear.

“I love you, did you hear that I love you, Junsu?” softly but firmly. Is this the answer he wanted to tell me? Did Yoochun hyung really mean to answer me like this? I didn't misunderstand myself, right?

But when I think of bad things What he's always done to me This made me quickly create a shield to reflect his deception.

“I don't want to listen!!” The more he came to tell me now I really don't want to listen. Did he think that something would change?

Yoochun hyung saw that I was about to refuse. So he confirmed his words with a warm touch on his lips, this touch, this place. that he was the only one who possessed

I put pressure on the person's shoulder and touched him, but Yoochun hyung ignored his slight resistance. Yoochun hyung kept his weight down to let him know that he would not accept rejection. When he touched my face, I lifted it up to wait for a deeper touch. He gently tugged at the petals to ask for permission.

I tried to turn away from the touch because I didn't want to be forced into it like usual. But when his arms held my waist close, I opened my lips to answer easily.

Yoochun hyung conveyed love, sorrow, disappointment, and various worries through his sweet and gentle touch for me to know. He kissed and caressed my lips like a person who was so intoxicated that he forgot everything around him. After a moment, he removed his lips. Press kisses along the slender face. before ending with forceful bites on the thin skin in the crook of his neck

“Junsu...hyung...” His voice was hoarse and low, like someone who was delirious and wanted to vent some of his feelings, causing me to strain my ears and intend to listen, but....

“Junsu, why do you have to write a letter to make an appointment with me? You can get a message here. Or do you want to try out the class…” The new person's voice trailed off as soon as Yoochun hyung and I turned towards him.

“Yuhwan!!”

The image of my lover holding a piece of paper in his hand and smiling as he looked at the live movie set in front of him made me quickly pull away from Yoochun hyung like I was touching something hot. But it wasn't too late... His cheerful smiling face suddenly became tense as papers and bags were dropped to the ground beside him.

“Jaejoong...Mr....” Yoochun's voice drew my eyes to another guest walking in behind Yoohwan. and was looking at the picture in front of him with a winning smile.

“I just use the same method. Looks like it worked out fine, right?” Jaejoong folded his arms over his chest and stood with his legs crossed, leaning against the door edge comfortably, even though the tense atmosphere was spreading over us.

I looked at the pained and disappointed expression of my lover. Yoohwan was about to cry. he is sad I don't want him to shed tears over my mistakes. Every time he sheds tears it's because I have something sad and he's crying too. But this time...he was seeing it with his own eyes. It's very heavy.

I don't want to guess how...Yuhwan is feeling....

“Yuhwan, listen to me first. I..” I got up from the sofa and walked quickly towards him. I wanted to tell him that I didn't mean to.

Phew!!! The sound of the clatter and the numb feeling on my cheek made me dizzy. Without me knowing, the image of Yuhwan's face suddenly changed to that of his own desk.

“Junsu!!” Yoochun hyung's shocked cry made me turn my head back to look at my lover, unable to understand what had just happened. The arm that just moved back from the other side it had just flicked caused me to raise my hand to cup my cheek. A feeling of pain shot up into my brain as soon as my finger touched it.

....Did I get slapped in the face by Yuhwan?....

I couldn't believe the look on Yuhwan's neutral expression that didn't show any joy or pleasure. The slender-eyed unit that was looking at me had a cold look that I had never seen before. A single tear slipped down my cheek from pain or shock, I don't know. But the warmth of it flowing through the cheeks that were starting to swell only increased the ache in my heart.

My lover...did he just hurt me...like that? Yoohwan who never even let me feel sick. He never neglected my physical and mental health. Yuhwan never even allowed insects or anything to irritate my skin. He never even allowed my food to be too hot or too cold. That Yuhwan...he just slapped me in the face?....

The person who just lowered his hand to his side didn't answer any questions. that popped up in my mind even a little bit Yuhwan lowered himself down and picked up his bag before turning and walking out of the room without looking at me or saying a word.

It was the first time I had been turned away by Yoohwan since we'd known each other. There was never a time that Yoohwan would let me face a difficult situation alone. There was never a time when he wasn't there when I needed him. There was never a time that I turned around and didn't see him. My back has moved further away, making me unable to stand.

I want to call out to him to come back, but my throat doesn't have the voice to protest. Do I still dare to ask for anything from him?

The touch on my shoulder gave me goosebumps. before shaking himself as if disgusted by it This time, I don't want to be touched by Yoochun hyung from the depths of my heart. My whole body was shaking like a baby bird. My subconscious told me to reject everything from him as soon as Yuhwan's sight disappeared. I was so scared that I felt like I wanted to vomit just because he came close.

“You go out!! Don't touch me. Yoohwan!!...Huh....Huh..." I moaned. In my heart I begged for people who would never hear. I don't care what my condition is. It may seem worthless, miserable, or pathetic. I only know that I have nothing left....really...

“Jaejoong, we need to talk,” a deep voice floated from far away. Even though it wasn't spoken to me, it was enough to make me squirm away until I was stuck on the other side of the sofa.

The sound of approaching footsteps made me instinctively flee. I was startled when a cold, sweet voice sounded in my ear, reinforcing the truth that had just happened...a cruel event that had seriously hurt me to death....

“I said I warned you last time. This is the punishment you should receive...[

b]

friend[/

b]...”

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

No matter how much time I spent chasing after empty love Just like the rabbit, who put in all his energy from the start. In my mind I saw the finish line clearly in front of me. We are sure that in this competition we will win great prizes. But then...the turtle suddenly appeared...

Jaejoong, who was only consistent, won from the beginning...he ran past where I was standing all the way to the finish line without me being able to do anything..

But I'm probably a lot worse than that rabbit. Because I chose to stand up and stop standing there. I was shocked and the turtle and I were not enemies like in the story...but best friends...so I just looked at the beautiful turtle who took the trophy that belonged to him. It came from the beginning and came back from my thoughts.

Even though I was very tired after just running for a short time, But the distance that passed seemed to be very long. It occupied my heart for so long that I no longer expected the reward. I want to bid farewell to the competition that unfairly stole half of my life away.

Until the day I decided to harm the body and mind of the people waiting for me to run toward the finish line. Because I already know that the person he is there is waiting to receive love. It wasn't me from the beginning.

Kim Junsu....a fool....and then you have to suffer yourself...I just did something that I never thought I'd do with Yoochun hyung..I never thought there would be a day. That I'm willing to let this man out of my life...but please...I don't want to be sensitive to love in the wrong place like this again...I don't want to be hurt that Yoochun hyung doesn't. Have you ever seen the value...

Just one touch of it made me nearly unable to stand... I didn't want to experience the disappointment of nearly killing a stupid human being. Like I'm slowly dying....again....

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

“...Junsu...” A soft voice came through and a light touch touched his hair. Warmth penetrated the senses and sent straight to the tired brain. He responded with a command and let clear water droplets flow out of his eyes, heating up at the corners of his eyes.

I swallowed every feeling that was tight and disappeared with tears. Then he turned to face the eyes that caused the guilt inside to overflow. Yuhwan looked down at me with concern. The worried expression still conceals kindness that is only for me.

“These days you seem depressed. Is it a lot of work? Do you want to hire more people?” He spoke slowly, but the number of questions made me know that in his heart he probably wasn't asking questions like the weather.

...My stress must have clearly had an effect on my body, making Yuhwan feel anxious....

“It's okay, Yuhwan. Not enough sleep during this time It will be better if I rest.” I wasn't lying because Yoochun hyung's persistent behavior made me unable to sleep. And even more so after I kicked him out of my life. It made me lose my appetite as well.

I choose to say what I need to say and what I think is right. I've lied to him a lot in the past. I don't want to add to the burden that's been piling up in my heart.

“Then I'd better go back first. You will get some rest.”

Later, I had to stay at the store. Yoohwan also brought his belongings, books, and movies to keep him company. Because he didn't want me to be alone after the store closed. At about 10:00 p.m. he would return home and in the early morning he would bring Mrs. Park's cooking to say good morning.

He laughed when I asked him why he refused to stay the night. Before saying that...I'm afraid I won't be able to resist...but I believe it. That even though he stayed in the same room as me all night Yoohwan still remained a gentleman without fail. That made me feel more uncomfortable when I was alone with him in this office. Because this place was too dirty and shameful for a clean white person like Yuhwan to fool around.

“Yuhwan,” I wasn't going to hold him back. Just now I feel like I want him next to me. Just a little more...only...

Seems selfish, right? Worried about love with his brother But he came back to be comforted by his lover who is his younger brother. You can scold me, you can scold me. Right now I don't have the energy to argue with anyone.

Yuhwan turned around at the sound of his voice. He looked at my face for a moment before he smiled fondly as if he saw me as a little child seeking attention. He placed all his belongings next to the door. Before walking back, he sat down on the sofa opposite the desk I was sitting at. Yoohwan grabbed my favorite pillow that I used to sleep on every night and placed it on my lap before beckoning me to come over to him.

When I sat down next to him A good father patted me on the pillow in his lap, but when he saw me he still didn't understand. He bent my head down and let me lie down on the warm pillow. Yuhwan gently stroked along the hairline before speaking slowly

“You didn't tell me what you were stressed about, that's okay. I don't want you to suffer because you're worried about whether to tell or not. I'll wait to hear what you have to say. I'll ignore you if you don't care about it. Whatever you are comfortable doing, I will help you with everything, do you understand?”

The content was as if he was unraveling the knot that held my heart tightly, one brittle at a time. It made me unable to hold back my tears. I admit that I was very stressed because I decided to do something for my dear friend by hurting my own heart. Another thing I'm still thinking about a lot is because I still have to hide Yohwan. I keep thinking about whether or not I should tell him if I intend to stay with him.

Should I be honest at the risk of damaging our relationship?

I only moaned loudly in my throat because I was only able to respond. How much will he make me feel good and bad at the same time until we're satisfied...this lover of mine...

“Right now you just feel the pressure and are tired of it. It can be very difficult to adjust to something you're not used to. But if you wait to find success one day When you look back, you will see the great value you gained from those times. And you won't forget that I'll always be by your side, right?"

I nodded, closing my eyes to the feel that spread along my hairline. Right now I feel so weak. I am just a fledgling bird who has yet to escape from the warm and safe nest to face the harsh real world. I'm probably still very lucky. When Somsan returned, there was still Yuhwan who spread his wings to protect and heal the heart that had been abused. And hope...it will get better...someday...

[b]

Bang~!!!!![/

b]

The sound of the door swinging against the wall made me jump up from Yuhwan's lap. Looking at the person who had just attacked the entrance to my office, I had to rush in to catch the frail figure that was about to fall to the ground.

“Jaejoong!!!”

“Hee hee hee Junsu.”

The arms that supported my limp body made me realize that My dear friend is in very bad condition. His beautiful face was filled with tears streaming down both cheeks. The nose and lips are bright and swollen. Jaejoong kept calling my name and sobbing over and over. It's like someone is losing their mind. What happened to my friend who was indifferent to everything around him?

Who or what caused my friend who always had a smile that radiated happiness to be so sad?

“What's wrong, Jaejoong?” I asked anxiously when I saw how hard I was sobbing. But the more I heard the voice of concern, the more the arms that held me hugged me tightened as if they needed something to hold onto.

“Oh, Yoochun hyung...he...has someone else.” Jaejoong shook his head as he lamented a story that he seemed not yet ready to accept. As for me, I can hear it. He almost forgot and disappeared for a moment. A feeling of fear rushes up until it tingles.

...or does Jaejoong already know everything?....

I didn't dare to ask. I didn't even dare to look at my friend's face. Is he staring at me accusingly? I only looked at my hands that were holding my thin waist tightly, but I felt strangely weak. Until Yuhwan must have noticed that I was starting to feel unbearable. So he touched his shoulder to wake him up so they could help him to sit on the sofa.

Once he had a secure shelter, Jaejoong let out another big yelp, not paying attention to his surroundings. I just sat next to him. He rubbed his head and comforted himself without saying anything, allowing his friend to let his outburst of emotions subside first. Yoohwan stood with his arms crossed and looked at me and Jaejoong with a confused expression. Probably because the person at the beginning of the story is his own brother.

Yoohwan didn't know what to do. When the moaning sound began to fade So he walked over and stood next to me before rubbing my head and pressing my nose down.

“Then I'll go back. You stayed as Jaejoong's friend for now. As for Yoochun hyung, I'll go see for myself.” I nodded. before smiling until Yuhwan walked out the door.

When Jaejoong saw that his lover's younger brother was not in the area, he opened his mouth and spoke in a tense voice.

“He had someone else while I wasn't here.” My heart dropped as soon as I heard it. But I still made up my mind to continue asking in case Yoochun hyung had anyone else besides me.

“How do you know?”

“Since we met again Yoochun hyung wasn't paying attention to me like usual. He was always working or pressing send messages. I was curious so I opened it to see. If people are lovers, there's nothing to hide, right? But when he saw me, he shouted at me loudly. Scolded until my face went numb. I didn't think I'd hear words like that come out of his mouth.

I'm even more certain that he must really care about that person.”

“And have you read those messages?” I'm not sure if the person Jaejoong said was referring to me or not? But if so...the person who made Jaejoong have to be talked down to by mean people is me...

“I didn't have time to read it. Otherwise, I probably already know who it is. Why did he do this to me, Junsu? We've been together for almost seven years. How can he do this? Even though our relationship didn't begin because of love But in the past I felt very good about him. So why did you choose someone else over me?”

Jaejoong blurted out helplessly. But I felt relieved and felt good to hear that Yoochun hyung considers me important. But I have to hurry and pull myself back from this vain dream because actually....Yuchun hyung probably isn't the only one with me...

“So what are you going to do now?” I asked because I was worried about Jaejoong. I don't know how hard I've been through this and how much I can still maintain a steady heart? And whether Jaejoong chooses to continue or end the journey The cracks that formed would make my friend unable to escape the pain.

“I won't give in!! He can't do this to me!! Yoochun hyung is responsible for making me feel this bad. That person is the same. I will have him kneel at my feet and apologize. Just wait and see!!”

The path Jaejoong chose was as if my dear friend was ordering me to cut out my heart and end my life. Am I being driven away by my karma until I spit out blood? Is the friend I love the most going to point at me and call me a traitor? Why does my heart hurt like never before?

It was as if it had been squeezed and almost shattered. Is it because I didn't love Jaejoong enough that I accidentally hurt my best friend? Was it me that caused our friendship to fall apart because of just one man?

....It's all because of me...

The sound of the door opening rang out in my reverie, causing me, who was drowning in a puddle of sorrow, to raise my head to consider the state of the world. My body was shaking uncontrollably. If no one had interrupted him, Jaejoong would have known for sure that I was the person he wanted to strangle to death in front of him.

“Yuhwan?” I said in surprise when I saw the person who had just left ten minutes ago. Showing your face into the room

“I forgot my shirt. Anyway, will Jaejoong hyung come back with me? If you love each other, let's talk to find out. Even though I don't know what happened. But what do you do to sit and moan about it?” Yuhwan walked over and picked up another jacket that he had left on the sofa. Then he turned to complain and complain to his beautiful-faced brother.

“I came to give Junsu some comfort. Can you not bother me? You don't understand anything and just take sides with your own brother.” Jaejoong flicked his eyes and bit him. Before giving away the extras

“Can't be bothered. Junsu is my boyfriend and right now he's not doing well. Look at your friend's face first. You're so pale you'll probably be sick.” Yuhwan said with a serious expression, not playing around like usual. causing Jaejoong to turn and stare at me inquisitively. before being taken aback when he saw his friend's deteriorated condition

“It's okay, Yuhwan. Jaejoong is sad. Please leave us alone.” Even if I am hurt to death. But if a friend is in trouble or is in distress I'm willing to force my body to stay beside him, but it seems like Jaejoong's good friend is no less good than mine.

“It's okay, Junsu. I'll go back first. You look a lot worse than me.... You're not a good person. How do you take care of your classmates? Let's break up. Let Junsu go in a good way,” my friend confirmed. before turning to blame my lover for not taking good care of me

“Come here, you naughty brother. Let's make a fuss and stop. I'll feel it in a moment.” Yuhwan pouted. before coming over and pulling Jaejoong to follow him out. But it seemed like Yoohwan's words made Jaejoong immediately decide on the question I had left asking.

“Yay!! You dare to threaten me? I won't let go of Yoochun hyung, you know this!!”

His answer slammed into my heart and almost made me stagger. It is already Jaejoong's right to hold onto Yoochun hyung. No matter what he says But when it comes to relationships, it depends on both parties. If Jaejoong doesn't give up Many more problems will follow.

So why do I think about it?...I intend to break up with him....so why do I think about it in case they break up?

“Then I'll come and complain. Why are you bothering my Junsu?” Yuhwan must have been worried about me, who stood there staggering and watched the two of them argue with each other for a long time. He frowned at his senior. Before both agreed to a temporary truce because they were worried about Kim Junsu's health.

...which I really feel for you. Because right now just standing still is very difficult. The stories that I had known throughout the day were overflowing and piling up everywhere. I don't know which part to start dealing with first. Now my brain works so slowly and it's frustrating. The workings of the body and the mind are completely incompatible.

I must really be in a bad state like Jaejoong said...

“Shit, you dog-mouthed bastard. Let's go get some pedigree.” Jaejoong left his goodbyes to Yohwan and shook his head and walked out of the room.

“I will go back first, Junsu. Get some rest.” My lover gave me a small smile before following him out without forgetting to gently close the door.

As soon as the light from outside is blocked The darkness in the room made me relax from the tension I had to maintain my normal self in front of the two of them. When I started to release the awkwardness His legs were so weak that he had to collapse on the floor and rest his head on the sofa cushion. I let so many thoughts flow by without thinking about picking up any issues to think about again...Now let me rest for a moment...I'm tired...so tired....

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

After that day...I learned from Yuhwan that Jaejoong and Yoochun hyung still haven't come to an understanding. Because everyone is different. So no one agreed to give it to me first. There was only confusion between the two families when meeting face to face. Suspicions about the third-party ownership of the messages have not been proven. But I can be sure that it wouldn't be me. Because the Miss Call that is bombarding us every day is as if the house is the owner of the network instead of being a rising star. It has come back to disturb my daily life again after being away for a while after receiving a white envelope from me.

....Why haven't you stopped bothering me yet?

“What are you staring at, Yoohwan?” I turned to ask my lover who had been staring at me the entire time since we walked out of the store together.

Today, Yoohwan didn't have class, so he came with me to go out and contact the store that supplies ingredients. Because the destination is not far away So I chose to walk through the lightly falling snow instead of taking the bus as usual.

“Is this the scarf I bought you?”

I looked down at the chocolate scarf that Yoohwan had bought me for my recent birthday. I really like it so I wear it with me all the time. But recently I had to remove it from my neck to use as water to chase away a mad dog from the store. Which when the team came back again, it had disappeared. So I had to go shopping and buy a similar one instead...

The piece you are wearing is therefore a new piece...

“Oh, why are you suddenly asking?” Was I lucky that I bought a replacement just in time?

“It's Jaejoong. He came to talk to me about you.” My best friend's name caused me to frown.

“About class? What do you say?”

“Strange, right? He told me to be careful of you wearing horns.”

"Eh?!!"

“I think he was too jealous of Yoochun hyung and bullied him. He said that you messed with Yoochun hyung. He said he found this scarf of yours in Yoochun hyung's room. You look like you're really serious, haha.” Yuhwan laughed as if he was telling a joke. But I couldn't help but laugh.

If it's true what Yoohwan said, then Jaejoong already knows the person Yoochun hyung is in contact with all the time. The person who ruined their love was me.

I get goosebumps thinking about every gesture Jaejoong made in reference to a third party. Jaejoong looked angry as if he was going to kill him. And what if he finds out that it's me?...What will happen?...

...And more than that...Yuhwan, do you believe it?....

“So...and what did you answer?”

“I told him that 'If Jaejoong hyung doesn't trust Yoochun hyung, it's your right. But I trust my Junsu. Because we love each other as much as the heavens.’ I didn't say that last thing to make you want me to take revenge on you, keke.”

I was stunned...Before, I knew that Yuhwan loved me very much...loved me to the point of agreeing to many things...whatever he did, he always relied on my comfort...never made me feel like... Loving him is a difficult thing at all...but after listening to the simple words he answered, From my heart without thinking too much...I remembered that the word 'a lot' would probably not be enough....Yohwan's love was even greater than that.

Yuhwan's stability is like the warm light of a tiny match lit in the midst of a blizzard raging over me now.

What makes him love and trust me this much? What makes him continue to pour out so much love for someone like me who is endlessly selfish? What's the point of being such a good person? How long will you allow me to betray you over and over again, Yuhwan?

......And if someday...you know the whole truth...will you still stick to your promise?...will you still be by my side?

If that day really comes Well...how can I live without his love to fill my breath...

"Thank you." I really couldn't hold it back. All the tears that flowed I want to give in return for his love. There may not be equal value. But I want to thank him..I want to thank my lover...really...

“Hey!! Did Junsu cry at all? Did I really make you feel that much? Don't cry.” Yuhwan was startled, turning left and right. before pulling me in for a comforting hug The gentle touch that rubbed along my back made me unable to stop myself from breaking.

...Can't help it. Who let you do this when people are sensitive?...

“Ah...but you can sing. You're crying because you're happy, right? What should I do? I saw you cry and it made me happy. I have a bad personality, right?” I secretly saw that he could hardly hold back his smile. Come on...whatever it takes...

“No, no, no, you are a very good person, really very good.”

My answer made him smile even wider. Yuhwan tightened his embrace. Hands caressed and comforted without fail.

“At first, I didn't know whether to tell you or not. I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. You and I are very close. And why did Jaejoong become so crazy? But it's okay, Junsu. Whatever anyone says, whatever. You still have class. Brother Jaejoong, he ghosts in and ghosts out....”

Yoohwan kept complaining to Jaejoong. But I didn't listen. Because I was in shock over the truth that I feared the most... Jaejoong already knew about it...

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

I was very stressed after returning to the store. But when I think about it again...I shouldn't have made such a big fuss. Maybe Jaejoong isn't sure yet. Because he only had a scarf as proof. But if Jaejoong truly knew everything I should do something to make it clear. To erase every mistake I made So I decided to answer Yoochun hyung's call that afternoon.

[...Junsu....] A sorrowful voice came through the phone. It made my heart shiver, but only for a moment. Because the past pain has taught me to be stronger.

“I don't think you understand what I'm saying. Why don't you just stop messing with me!! We should retreat to our original places!!” He and I should stay in our own places. We should care about our own people very much. Yes...it should be like that to be correct.

[I won't give in...I won't give in, Junsu...why...why? We get along well, don't we? Why don't you sympathize with me?]

“You are the one who doesn't sympathize with me. Yoohwan is my lover. Jaejoong is my close friend. Don't you understand how difficult it is for me?!!” I felt uncomfortable. I was so tired of wearing a mask all the time that I almost suffocated. Why didn't he think of it?

[What about you? You've come to make me so lost. and then thought of simply striking away Is it like this? What do you do with your heart?..Kim Junsu...]

I sighed heavily... Yoochun hyung acted like he wouldn't listen to anything. It made me have no strength to continue talking.

“So you don't feel sorry for me? Why don't you just let me go? I'm begging you, for the sake of letting you go so much. Please take pity on me. I can't take it anymore,” I said softly. I'm tired of talking to people who keep their ears closed. There's nothing better, so why waste more energy?

[no!! If you're going bad I'm about to die because of you too. Let it be known that you can cut me out of your life. If you have to lose, let it all be ruined!!]

I can't believe my ears.... Yoochun hyung has gone crazy.. he's been so consumed by his hot emotions that I won't return... but I won't let him ruin the life of the person I love!!

“You are a disgusting man!! I can't kick you out of my life because of Yuhwan. Please know this!! But I will never know your presence in my world again!!” I yelled at the phone before throwing it on the ground until it shattered into pieces. I admit that I can't stand this man any longer. Why is he so stubborn and stubborn?!!

Paste~!! Heavy rhythmic applause It made me, who was extremely angry, flinch.

“Your voice must be as sweet as your candy and your body. Other boyfriends have to call every day.”

“Jaejoong!!!” I called out the person's name, not believing what he had just said to me.

“What are you shocked about? I just came to visit a close friend I've been with for a long time out of nostalgia. Why do you act like you don't want to welcome me? Isn't that a bit rude?" Jaejoong stood with his arms crossed on his chest, leaning against the door frame, speaking in such a cold voice that I began to feel bad.

"floor..."

“Oh...maybe you don't know what customs you should follow?” I widened my eyes as if asking what he meant?

“Jaejoong...why do you say this?” I held back my courage to ask even though my heart was starting to catch on to him. That Jaejoong must have heard what I was talking to his lover just now. And my friend probably knows the past story...more or less...

Which I guessed correctly... because after finishing the question... the cold smile on the beautiful face changed into a smooth, tight mouth with big eyes that shone as if they were very angry at me.

“Do I still have to ask? Huh!! Kim Junsu, will you dare to take kind words? From someone who was betrayed by you again? How brazen can you be?!!” Jaejoong rushed over and pulled my arm towards me before shaking it harshly without mercy. The look in Jaejoong's eyes that stared deep into my eyes contained only a fire of destruction that almost burned away any glimmer of hope in my heart.

“Jaejoong!!” I called out to him. Because even if Jaejoong knew what But that was in the past. He shouldn't have scolded me so harshly.

"Why? Even though I said I didn't prepare a script, I'm sure there won't be any mistakes. Because it came from the mouth of a friend who has always been sincere to you!!” Jaejoong pushed me away. before throwing something at it until it hit the face hard.

“Ouch!!” I held onto my left eye socket because I felt the pain of being hit by something hard. Before using his other eye to look at the many things that had fallen at his feet.

“This torn scarf!! Snacks like this that I saw at your shop!! Ten sheets of your handwritten notes!! You probably don't have to read what it says!! Are you going to bring any more evidence? You stubborn villain!!”

I couldn't respond to my friend's angry words. I could only look at those things in turn, swallowing. The scarf that I pulled until it fell off my neck Yoochun hyung really kept it. So...a glittering golden candy box with heart-shaped chocolate that only one person in the world has ever tasted....

A note with a message that the more you write and send to each other, the deeper the relationship becomes.... I have nothing else to explain to Jaejoong...

When I saw him, I couldn't argue. Jaejoong smiled as he looked at the defendant who had no excuse.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to ask some questions..."

“..." I looked up from those things. Look at the face of the officer who is setting up the table to interrogate me. When Jaejoong saw that I had nothing to object, he swallowed hard, suppressing his emotions before asking in a cold voice.

“How long have you been doing this? You and Yoochun hyung....have been secretly eating each other behind my back for how long?!!” His initially calm tone turned into a shout when he probably couldn't hold back his raging emotions.

I have nothing to answer. Or actually... I don't know if the things I hid from Yohwan and Jaejoong are hurting because of my actions. How long should it be hit?....Since I never knew anything...

"If you don't answer, I'll change the question."

“Why don't you quit? At first, you didn't know what I was talking about. But now that I know....why are you still in contact? Why do you still make Yoochun hyung..” Jaejoong asked as if I was the cause of the endless chaos. Even though I wanted to end everything since I knew Jaejoong's status. But it's because of who doesn't think of giving it up once and for all...

The people who are suffering because of this humiliating situation right now are not just Jaejoong's lovers...don't you know that?...

“Kim Junsu!! Answer me!!” When he saw me keeping quiet, he turned away. Jaejoong, who wouldn't let anyone ignore him, came straight up and grabbed my arm and shook it until we both threw up. His long nails dug into my arms without any effort.

“I'm hurt, Jaejoong!!”

“It hurts?...I feel hurt...it hurts so much..it hurts knowing that the lover I devoted my heart to for more than seven years has betrayed me. Now Yoochun hyung sees me as an air element. I saw that it was toxic smoke that he couldn't stay in the room with. Are you still not satisfied?!! But it hurts more than that, Junsu...you know that right?...because That person is a boss!!

The person who took Yoochun hyung away from me is the person I love and trust the most!! How can you pretend to be honest while listening to the class vent about Yoochun hyung? Huh!! Junsu, how did you do it?!!” Jaejoong raised his voice and asked impatiently. Tears flowed down her cheeks in a long way. I sobbed until I was shaking, making me feel sorry for him who had to be in this situation because I was the cause. I felt so bad that I let out a loud yelp.

“Heck Jaejoong, I'm sorry..sorry,” was all I could say to him. It really can't think of anything. Besides wanting him to forgive

"cry? Why are you crying? Do you feel guilty? Do you act like you do dramas every time?” The more you saw me, the more I sobbed as well. Jaejoong dug his nails into my arm even harder. His face looked hurt, disappointed, and completely devoid of trust in me.

“Jaejoong, I really haven't been in contact with Yoochun hyung anymore. Please believe me. He called just now..” He didn't let me explain. Jaejoong suddenly interrupted without any face.

"Oh..are you saying that my boyfriend acts stupid, pretends not to know, and pushes her to bully you? Heh, that's a good thing to say."

I shake my head nervously. I didn't want him to understand that I was trying to make a defense or anything. I just want him to know that I didn't intend to hurt Jaejoong at all...I never even thought about it...

“Yuchun hyung who was more honest with me than anyone else. He changed because of you. But I'll tell you something...I won't spit out the breast meat from my mouth. If you're still going to fight for the same piece of meat as me, Just keep pushing it until someone runs out of energy first. Otherwise, they will bite each other to death.”

“Jaejoong, no!!” Why did he say this? I never wanted us to be enemies. Why did he have to act against me? Why does he talk like all our years of friendship are worthless?

“It doesn't end with today, Junsu. But I'll give you time to prepare yourself. For Yuhwan's sake, he loves you so much. I will use the word friend between us today is the last day. Give you a chance to think.”

“Jaejoong, please, I love you.” I tried to beg him not to cut short our friendship. I couldn't stand it.

“Huh, I want to warn you, Junsu. If you still insist on wanting other people's things. Your life will be torn to pieces.” Jaejoong squeezed my arm to make sure I could hear every word he said clearly. Before releasing his hand, he turned and walked away.

“Jaejoong!! Huh, Jaejoong..." I watched the thin back of my face disappear from view without even having the strength to run after and hold my dear friend. I collapsed onto the cold floor of the room. His heart squeezed so tightly that it ached, as if someone had pressed it down so it couldn't pump blood like usual. It was stuffed in my chest to the point of being completely uncomfortable. Suffering but unable to do anything

The sorrow poured out without stopping. It's so much I let the tears bring out the pain for myself to know...I will never receive love from Kim Jaejoong again....

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

“Junsu!! Junsu!!” The first voice after I was branded a traitorous friend. Why does it have to be the voice of someone I really don't want to hear?

The person who was the cause of all this still had a face appear in this room. Why would he have to destroy the peace that I had worked so hard to create since yesterday evening?

Elder Yoochun ran with an alert expression and opened the door to enter a room without light. I guessed it from the shadows. That he was probably walking around the room trying to figure out where I was. I don't know how he got here? Or why did you come? But now I don't want to see him.

...The person who caused my friendship with Jaejoong to fall apart....

The smelly sigh of boredom probably made Yoochun hyung guess my location. The shadow moved and stopped in front of him. But before he could touch any part of me My tolerance was almost exhausted and I could no longer bear to breathe the air in the same room as him.

“Get out, get out!! Please stop ruining my life. Stop trampling on my feelings. I'm not your toy!!” I screamed and chased him away from here. I squirmed violently when he tried to hold me close. I punched him, unable to look as if I didn't want him to come closer. But Yoochun hyung still broke through the cordon and grabbed me firmly.

“You never saw us as toys, Junsu!!” His firm voice made me stop protesting for a moment. But thinking that this person was using words to convince me to become a victim every time made me not want to give in.

“Then why are you doing this to me?!! Why are you torturing me?!!” I still refused to stay silent easily. I twisted my body out of his grip every once in a while. But the other party seemed to hold onto it so tightly that it was helpless.

“Listen to me!! Do you think it doesn't hurt you to see me like this?!!” Yoochun hyung scolded me as if he wanted to teach a lesson to a naughty kid who always went on a hysterical rampage and didn't listen to anyone.

His words made me stop resisting. Tears that had dried up since yesterday came back up just hearing that he understood how sad I was because of the decision I had made. Both at the beginning with high spirits, not caring about anyone, putting your own needs first. Or even the final episode where you decide to end everything for something you think is more important. But in the end...I had nothing left..

I'm crying...at my shallow thoughts. of yourself that causes others pain

I'm sad...that I still feel good about this little gentleness from this person. The embrace that I have been yearning for with every breath since we met. The love that I wish to own even though it must come at the expense of many others' pain. I hate myself so much that my heart softens just because he holds me like this.

And I hate myself even more when my old habits It ordered me to say words that hurt my own heart.

“I slept with Yoohwan. I let him go. Our stories have nothing to do with each other. I chose him.”

The comforting hand on my back stopped. Before Yoochun unnie loosened his arms to look at me. His dark eyes flickered, as if pleading that what I said was just a joke. But I chose to keep a straight face. Refusing to show the trembling inside for him to see. When choosing to cut I will do it.

“You lied. You never…” His words were so confident that they made me smile. I know he doesn't like my defiance. But the more I don't like it. The more I wanted to provoke him into anger. I was hurt and wanted him to be hurt too. I've gone too deep to pull myself back.

“Why not?!! You're only with me when we have sex. What will you come to know? What did you know?!!”

The gestures, the words, whatever it was that made Yoochun hyung feel like I was looking down on him. I show it all I still force myself to run my hand over the rose stem even though the thorns are pricking until it's dripping...the satisfaction that comes in exchange for excruciating pain.

...We humans are stupid like this...

“Don't say that, Junsu, you're making me angry.” Yoochun hyung gently pushed me, who was sitting on my knees. Lie face up on the sofa. Eyes flashing with anger mixed with pain, they stared at the person who was speaking incoherently. before turning to his side to suppress his emotions I know Yoochun hyung doesn't want to fight. He probably intended to cool down as much as possible to talk things out. But so what? Do you think I'll stop? There's no way!!

“So what are you going to do?!! Can you resist me because you're angry? Take it!! Go ahead!! I will know that it really is just that between us.” I still stubbornly continued to challenge him fiercely.

Yoochun hyung turned his face back and stared at me as if he was going to eat my flesh and blood. But for a moment, his eyes softened until my heart fluttered. Yoochun hyung moved towards me, who was placing his arms behind him to support himself in his seat. The distance between us keeps shrinking. Until I had to close my eyes tightly I thought he would hurt me like he had dared. But the warm breath that accompanied the words in his ear shook Kim Junsu's entire world in a way he never dreamed of hearing one day.

“I love you, did you hear that I love you, Junsu?” softly but firmly. Is this the answer he wanted to tell me? Did Yoochun hyung really mean to answer me like this? I didn't misunderstand myself, right?

But when I think of bad things What he's always done to me This made me quickly create a shield to reflect his deception.

“I don't want to listen!!” The more he came to tell me now I really don't want to listen. Did he think that something would change?

Yoochun hyung saw that I was about to refuse. So he confirmed his words with a warm touch on his lips, this touch, this place. that he was the only one who possessed

I put pressure on the person's shoulder and touched him, but Yoochun hyung ignored his slight resistance. Yoochun hyung kept his weight down to let him know that he would not accept rejection. When he touched my face, I lifted it up to wait for a deeper touch. He gently tugged at the petals to ask for permission.

I tried to turn away from the touch because I didn't want to be forced into it like usual. But when his arms held my waist close, I opened my lips to answer easily.

Yoochun hyung conveyed love, sorrow, disappointment, and various worries through his sweet and gentle touch for me to know. He kissed and caressed my lips like a person who was so intoxicated that he forgot everything around him. After a moment, he removed his lips. Press kisses along the slender face. before ending with forceful bites on the thin skin in the crook of his neck

“Junsu...hyung...” His voice was hoarse and low, like someone who was delirious and wanted to vent some of his feelings, causing me to strain my ears and intend to listen, but....

“Junsu, why do you have to write a letter to make an appointment with me? You can get a message here. Or do you want to try out the class…” The new person's voice trailed off as soon as Yoochun hyung and I turned towards him.

“Yuhwan!!”

The image of my lover holding a piece of paper in his hand and smiling as he looked at the live movie set in front of him made me quickly pull away from Yoochun hyung like I was touching something hot. But it wasn't too late... His cheerful smiling face suddenly became tense as papers and bags were dropped to the ground beside him.

“Jaejoong...Mr....” Yoochun's voice drew my eyes to another guest walking in behind Yoohwan. and was looking at the picture in front of him with a winning smile.

“I just use the same method. Looks like it worked out fine, right?” Jaejoong folded his arms over his chest and stood with his legs crossed, leaning against the door edge comfortably, even though the tense atmosphere was spreading over us.

I looked at the pained and disappointed expression of my lover. Yoohwan was about to cry. he is sad I don't want him to shed tears over my mistakes. Every time he sheds tears it's because I have something sad and he's crying too. But this time...he was seeing it with his own eyes. It's very heavy.

I don't want to guess how...Yuhwan is feeling....

“Yuhwan, listen to me first. I..” I got up from the sofa and walked quickly towards him. I wanted to tell him that I didn't mean to.

Phew!!! The sound of the clatter and the numb feeling on my cheek made me dizzy. Without me knowing, the image of Yuhwan's face suddenly changed to that of his own desk.

“Junsu!!” Yoochun hyung's shocked cry made me turn my head back to look at my lover, unable to understand what had just happened. The arm that just moved back from the other side it had just flicked caused me to raise my hand to cup my cheek. A feeling of pain shot up into my brain as soon as my finger touched it.

....Did I get slapped in the face by Yuhwan?....

I couldn't believe the look on Yuhwan's neutral expression that didn't show any joy or pleasure. The slender-eyed unit that was looking at me had a cold look that I had never seen before. A single tear slipped down my cheek from pain or shock, I don't know. But the warmth of it flowing through the cheeks that were starting to swell only increased the ache in my heart.

My lover...did he just hurt me...like that? Yoohwan who never even let me feel sick. He never neglected my physical and mental health. Yuhwan never even allowed insects or anything to irritate my skin. He never even allowed my food to be too hot or too cold. That Yuhwan...he just slapped me in the face?....

The person who just lowered his hand to his side didn't answer any questions. that popped up in my mind even a little bit Yuhwan lowered himself down and picked up his bag before turning and walking out of the room without looking at me or saying a word.

It was the first time I had been turned away by Yoohwan since we'd known each other. There was never a time that Yoohwan would let me face a difficult situation alone. There was never a time when he wasn't there when I needed him. There was never a time that I turned around and didn't see him. My back has moved further away, making me unable to stand.

I want to call out to him to come back, but my throat doesn't have the voice to protest. Do I still dare to ask for anything from him?

The touch on my shoulder gave me goosebumps. before shaking himself as if disgusted by it This time, I don't want to be touched by Yoochun hyung from the depths of my heart. My whole body was shaking like a baby bird. My subconscious told me to reject everything from him as soon as Yuhwan's sight disappeared. I was so scared that I felt like I wanted to vomit just because he came close.

“You go out!! Don't touch me. Yoohwan!!...Huh....Huh..." I moaned. In my heart I begged for people who would never hear. I don't care what my condition is. It may seem worthless, miserable, or pathetic. I only know that I have nothing left....really...

“Jaejoong, we need to talk,” a deep voice floated from far away. Even though it wasn't spoken to me, it was enough to make me squirm away until I was stuck on the other side of the sofa.

The sound of approaching footsteps made me instinctively flee. I was startled when a cold, sweet voice sounded in my ear, reinforcing the truth that had just happened...a cruel event that had seriously hurt me to death....

“I said I warned you last time. This is the punishment you should receive...[

b]

friend[/

b]...”

No matter how much time I spent chasing after empty love Just like the rabbit, who put in all his energy from the start. In my mind I saw the finish line clearly in front of me. We are sure that in this competition we will win great prizes. But then...the turtle suddenly appeared...

Jaejoong, who was only consistent, won from the beginning...he ran past where I was standing all the way to the finish line without me being able to do anything..

But I'm probably a lot worse than that rabbit. Because I chose to stand up and stop standing there. I was shocked and the turtle and I were not enemies like in the story...but best friends...so I just stared at the beautiful turtle who took the trophy that belonged to him. It came from the beginning and came back from my thoughts.

Even though I was very tired after just running for a short time, But the distance that passed seemed to be very long. It occupied my heart for so long that I no longer expected the reward. I want to bid farewell to the competition that unfairly stole half of my life away.

Until the day I decided to harm the body and mind of the people waiting for me to run towards the finish line. Because I already know that the person he is there is waiting to receive love. It wasn't me from the beginning.

Kim Junsu....a fool....and then you have to suffer yourself...I just did something that I never thought I'd do with Yoochun hyung..I never thought there would be a day. That I'm willing to let this man out of my life...but please...I don't want to be sensitive to love in the wrong place like this again...I don't want to be hurt that Yoochun hyung doesn't. Have you ever seen the value...

Just one touch of it made me nearly unable to stand... I didn't want to experience the disappointment of nearly killing a stupid human being. Like I'm slowly dying....again....

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

“...Junsu...” A soft voice came through and a light touch touched his hair. Warmth penetrated the senses and sent straight to the tired brain. He responded with a command and let clear water droplets flow out of his eyes, heating up at the edges of his eyes.

I swallowed every feeling that was tight and disappeared with tears. Then he turned to face the eyes that caused the guilt inside to overflow. Yuhwan looked down at me with concern. The worried expression still conceals kindness that is only for me.

“These days you seem depressed. Is it a lot of work? Do you want to hire more people?” He said slowly, but the number of questions made me know that in his heart he probably wasn't asking questions like the weather.

...My stress must have clearly had an effect on my body, making Yuhwan feel anxious....

“It's okay, Yuhwan. Not enough sleep during this time It will be better if I rest.” I wasn't lying because Yoochun hyung's persistent behavior made me unable to sleep. And even more so after I kicked him out of my life. It made me lose my appetite as well.

I choose to say what I need to say and what I think is right. I've lied to him a lot in the past. I don't want to add to the burden that's been piling up in my heart.

“Then I'd better go back first. You will get some rest.”

Later, I had to stay at the store. Yoohwan also brought his belongings, books, and movies to keep him company. Because he didn't want me to be alone after the store closed. At about 10:00 p.m. he would return home and in the early morning he would bring Mrs. Park's cooking to say good morning.

He laughed when I asked him why he refused to stay the night. Before saying that...I'm afraid I won't be able to resist...but I believe it. That even though he stayed in the same room as me all night Yoohwan still remained a gentleman without fail. That made me feel more uncomfortable when I was alone with him in this office. Because this place was too dirty and shameful for a clean white person like Yuhwan to fool around.

“Yuhwan,” I wasn't going to hold him back. Just now I feel like I want him next to me. Just a little more...only...

Seems selfish, right? Worried about love with his brother But he came back to be comforted by his lover who is his younger brother. You can scold me, you can scold me. Right now I don't have the energy to argue with anyone.

Yuhwan turned around at the sound of his voice. He looked at my face for a moment before he smiled fondly as if he saw me as a little child seeking attention. He placed all his belongings next to the door. Before walking back, he sat down on the sofa opposite the desk I was sitting at. Yoohwan grabbed my favorite pillow that I used to sleep on every night and placed it on my lap before beckoning me to come over to him.

When I sat down next to him A good father patted me on the pillow in his lap, but when he saw me he still didn't understand. He bent my head down and let me lie down on the warm pillow. Yuhwan gently stroked along the hairline before speaking slowly

“You didn't tell me what you were stressed about, that's okay. I don't want you to suffer because you're worried about telling or not. I'll wait to hear what you have to say. I'll ignore you if you don't care about it. Whatever you are comfortable doing, I will help you with everything, do you understand?”

The content was as if he was unraveling the knot that held my heart tightly, one brittle at a time. It made me unable to hold back my tears. I admit that I was very stressed because I decided to do something for my dear friend by hurting my own heart. Another thing that I'm still thinking about a lot is because I still have to hide Yohwan. I keep thinking about whether or not I should tell him if I intend to stay with him.

Should I be honest at the risk of damaging our relationship?

I only moaned loudly in my throat because I was only able to respond. How much will he make me feel good and bad at the same time until we're satisfied...this lover of mine...

“Right now you just feel the pressure and are tired of it. It can be very difficult to adjust to something you're not used to. But if you wait to find success one day When you look back, you will see the great value you gained from those times. And you won't forget that I'll always be by your side, right?"

I nodded, closing my eyes to the feel that spread along my hairline. Right now I feel so weak. I am just a fledgling bird who has yet to escape from the warm and safe nest to face the harsh real world. I'm probably still very lucky. When Somsan returned, there was still Yuhwan who spread his wings to protect and heal the heart that had been abused. And hope...it will get better...someday...

[b]

Bang~!!!!![/

b]

The sound of the door swinging against the wall made me jump up from Yuhwan's lap. Looking at the person who had just attacked the entrance to my office, I had to rush in to catch the frail figure that was about to fall to the ground.

“Jaejoong!!!”

“Hee hee hee Junsu.”

The arms that supported my limp body made me realize that My dear friend is in very bad condition. His beautiful face was filled with tears streaming down both cheeks. The nose and lips are bright and swollen. Jaejoong kept calling my name and sobbing over and over. It's like someone is losing their mind. What happened to my friend who was indifferent to everything around him?

Who or what caused my friend who always had a smile that radiated happiness to be so sad?

“What's wrong, Jaejoong?” I asked anxiously when I saw how hard I was sobbing. But the more I heard the voice of concern, the more the arms that held me hugged me tightened as if they needed something to hold onto.

“Oh, Yoochun hyung...he...has someone else.” Jaejoong shook his head as he lamented a story that he seemed not yet ready to accept. As for me, I can hear it. He almost forgot and disappeared for a moment. A feeling of fear rushes up until it tingles.

...or does Jaejoong already know everything?....

I didn't dare to ask. I didn't even dare to look at my friend's face. Is he staring at me accusingly? I only looked at my hands that were holding my thin waist tightly, but I felt strangely weak. Until Yuhwan must have noticed that I was starting to feel unbearable. So he touched his shoulder to wake him up so they could help him sit on the sofa.

Once he had a secure shelter, Jaejoong let out another big yelp, not paying attention to his surroundings. I just sat next to him. He rubbed his head and comforted himself without saying anything, allowing his friend to let his outburst of emotions subside first. Yoohwan stood with his arms crossed and looked at me and Jaejoong with a confused expression. Probably because the person at the beginning of the story is his own brother.

Yoohwan didn't know what to do. When the moaning sound began to fade So he walked over and stood next to me before rubbing my head and pressing my nose down.

“Then I'll go back. You stayed as Jaejoong's friend for now. As for Yoochun hyung, I'll go see for myself.” I nodded. before smiling until Yuhwan walked out the door.

When Jaejoong saw that his lover's younger brother was not in the area, he opened his mouth and spoke in a tense voice.

“He had someone else while I wasn't here.” My heart dropped as soon as I heard it. But I still made up my mind to continue asking in case Yoochun hyung had anyone else besides me.

“How do you know?”

“Since we met again Yoochun hyung wasn't paying attention to me like usual. He was always working or pressing send messages. I was curious so I opened it to see. If people are lovers, there's nothing to hide, right? But when he saw me, he shouted at me loudly. Scolded until my face went numb. I didn't think I'd hear words like that come out of his mouth.

I'm even more certain that he must really care about that person.”

“And have you read those messages?” I'm not sure if the person Jaejoong said was referring to me or not? But if so...the person who made Jaejoong have to be talked down to by mean people is me...

“I didn't have time to read it. Otherwise, I probably already know who it is. Why did he do this to me, Junsu? We've been together for almost seven years. How can he do this? Even though our relationship didn't begin because of love But in the past I felt very good about him. So why did you choose someone else over me?”

Jaejoong blurted out helplessly. But I felt relieved and felt good to hear that Yoochun hyung considers me important. But I have to hurry and pull myself back from this vain dream because actually....Yuchun hyung probably isn't the only one with me...

“So what are you going to do now?” I asked because I was worried about Jaejoong. I don't know how hard I've been through this and how much I can still maintain a steady heart? And whether Jaejoong chooses to continue or end the journey The cracks that formed would make my friend unable to escape the pain.

“I won't give in!! He can't do this to me!! Yoochun hyung is responsible for making me feel this bad. That person is the same. I will have him kneel at my feet and apologize. Just wait and see!!”

The path Jaejoong chose was as if my dear friend was ordering me to cut out my heart and end my life. Am I being driven away by my karma until I spit out blood? Is the friend I love the most going to point at me and call me a traitor? Why does my heart hurt like never before?

It was as if it had been squeezed and almost shattered. Is it because I didn't love Jaejoong enough that I accidentally hurt my best friend? Was it me that caused our friendship to fall apart because of just one man?

....It's all because of me...

The sound of the door opening rang out in my reverie, causing me, who was drowning in a puddle of sorrow, to raise my head to consider the state of the world. My body was shaking uncontrollably. If no one had interrupted him, Jaejoong would have known for sure that I was the person he wanted to strangle to death in front of him.

“Yuhwan?” I said in surprise when I saw the person who had just left ten minutes ago. Showing your face into the room

“I forgot my shirt. Anyway, will Jaejoong hyung come back with me? If you love each other, let's talk to find out. Even though I don't know what happened. But what do you do to sit and moan about it?” Yuhwan walked over and picked up another jacket that he had left on the sofa. Then he turned to complain and complain to his beautiful-faced brother.

“I came to give Junsu some comfort. Can you not bother me? You don't understand anything and just take sides with your own brother.” Before giving away the extras

“Can't be bothered. Junsu is my boyfriend and right now he's not doing well. Look at your friend's face first. You're so pale you'll probably be sick.” Yuhwan said with a serious expression, not playing around like usual. causing Jaejoong to turn and stare at me inquisitively. before being taken aback when he saw his friend's deteriorated condition

“It's okay, Yuhwan. Jaejoong is sad. Please leave us alone.” Even if I am hurt to death. But if a friend is in trouble or is in distress I'm willing to force my body to stay beside him, but it seems like Jaejoong's good friend is no less good than mine.

“It's okay, Junsu. I'll go back first. You look a lot worse than me.... You're not a good person. How do you take care of your classmates? Let's break up. Let Junsu go in a good way,” my friend confirmed. before turning to blame my lover for not taking good care of me

“Come here, you naughty brother. Let's make a fuss and stop. I'll feel it in a moment.” Yuhwan pouted. before coming over and pulling Jaejoong to follow him out. But it seemed like Yoohwan's words made Jaejoong immediately decide on the question I had left asking.

“Yay!! You dare to threaten me? I won't let go of Yoochun hyung, you know this!!”

His answer slammed into my heart and almost made me stagger. It is already Jaejoong's right to hold onto Yoochun hyung. No matter what he says But when it comes to relationships, it depends on both parties. If Jaejoong doesn't give up Many more problems will follow.

So why do I think about it?...I intend to break up with him....so why do I think about it in case they break up?

“Then I'll come and complain. Why are you bothering my Junsu?” Yuhwan must have been worried about me, who stood there staggering and watched the two of them argue with each other for a long time. He frowned at his senior. Before both agreed to a temporary truce because they were worried about Kim Junsu's health.

...which I really feel for you. Because right now just standing still is very difficult. The stories that I had known throughout the day were overflowing and piling up everywhere. I don't know which part to start dealing with first. Now my brain works so slowly and it's frustrating. The workings of the body and the mind are completely incompatible.

I must really be in a bad state like Jaejoong said...

“Shit, you dog-mouthed bastard. Let's go get some pedigree.” Jaejoong left his goodbyes to Yohwan and shook his head and walked out of the room.

“I will go back first, Junsu. Get some rest.” My lover gave me a small smile before following him out without forgetting to gently close the door.

As soon as the light from outside is blocked The darkness in the room made me relax from the tension I had to maintain my normal self in front of the two of them. When I started to release the awkwardness His legs were so weak that he had to collapse on the floor and rest his head on the sofa cushion. I let so many thoughts flow by without thinking about picking up any issues to think about again...Now let me rest for a moment...I'm tired...so tired....

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

After that day...I learned from Yuhwan that Jaejoong and Yoochun hyung still haven't come to an understanding. Because everyone is different. So no one agreed to give it to me first. There was only confusion between the two families when meeting face to face. Suspicions about the third-party ownership of the messages have not been proven. But I can be sure that it wouldn't be me. Because the Miss Call that is bombarding us every day is as if the house is the owner of the network instead of being a rising star. It has come back to disturb my daily life again after being away for a while after receiving a white envelope from me.

....Why haven't you stopped bothering me yet?

“What are you staring at, Yoohwan?” I turned to ask my lover who had been staring at me the entire time since we walked out of the store together.

Today, Yoohwan didn't have class, so he came with me to go out and contact the store that supplies ingredients. Because the destination is not far away So I chose to walk through the lightly falling snow instead of taking the bus as usual.

“Is this the scarf I bought you?”

I looked down at the chocolate scarf that Yoohwan had bought me for my recent birthday. I really like it so I wear it with me all the time. But recently I had to remove it from my neck to use as water to chase away a mad dog from the store. Which when the team came back again, it had disappeared. So I had to go shopping and buy a similar one instead...

The piece you are wearing is therefore a new piece...

“Oh, why are you suddenly asking?” Was I lucky that I bought a replacement just in time?

“It's Jaejoong. He came to talk to me about you.” My best friend's name caused me to frown.

“About class? What do you say?”

“Strange, right? He told me to be careful of you wearing horns.”

"Eh?!!"

“I think he was too jealous of Yoochun hyung and bullied him. He said that you messed with Yoochun hyung. He said he found this scarf of yours in Yoochun hyung's room. You look like you're really serious, haha.” Yuhwan laughed as if he was telling a joke. But I couldn't help but laugh.

If it's true what Yoohwan said, then Jaejoong already knows the person Yoochun hyung is in contact with all the time. The person who ruined their love was me.

I get goosebumps thinking about every gesture Jaejoong made in reference to a third party. Jaejoong looked angry as if he was going to kill him. And what if he finds out that it's me?...What will happen?...

...And more than that...Yuhwan, do you believe it?....

“So...and what did you answer?”

“I told him that 'If Jaejoong hyung doesn't trust Yoochun hyung, it's your right. But I trust my Junsu. Because we love each other as much as the heavens.’ I didn't say that last thing to make you want me to take revenge on you, keke.”

I was stunned...Before, I knew that Yuhwan loved me very much...loved me to the point of agreeing to many things...whatever he did, he always relied on my comfort...never made me feel like... Loving him is a difficult thing at all...but after listening to the simple words he answered, From my heart without thinking too much...I remembered that the word 'a lot' would probably not be enough....Yohwan's love was even greater than that.

Yuhwan's stability is like the warm light of a small match lit in the midst of a blizzard raging over me now.

What makes him love and trust me this much? What makes him continue to pour out so much love for someone like me who is endlessly selfish? What's the point of being such a good person? How long will you allow me to betray you over and over again, Yuhwan?

......And if someday...you know the whole truth...will you still stick to your promise?...will you still be by my side?

If that day really comes Well...how can I live without his love to fill my breath...

"Thank you." I really couldn't hold it back. All the tears that flowed I want to give in return for his love. There may not be equal value. But I want to thank him..I want to thank my lover...really...

“Hey!! Did Junsu cry at all? Did I really make you feel that much? Don't cry.” Yuhwan was startled, turning left and right. before pulling me in for a comforting hug The gentle touch that rubbed along my back made me unable to stop myself from breaking.

...Can't help it. Who let you do this when people are sensitive?...

“Ah...but you can sing. You're crying because you're happy, right? What should I do? I saw you cry and it made me happy. I have a bad personality, right?” I secretly saw that he could hardly hold back his smile. Come on...whatever it takes...

“No, no, no, you are a very good person, really very good.”

My answer made him smile even wider. Yuhwan tightened his embrace. Hands caressed and comforted without fail.

“At first, I didn't know whether to tell you or not. I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. You and I are very close. And why did Jaejoong become so crazy? But it's okay, Junsu. Whatever anyone says, whatever. You still have class. Brother Jaejoong, he ghosts in and ghosts out....”

Yoohwan kept complaining to Jaejoong. But I didn't listen. Because I was in shock over the truth that I feared the most... Jaejoong already knew about it...

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

I was very stressed after returning to the store. But when I think about it again...I shouldn't have made such a big fuss. Maybe Jaejoong isn't sure yet. Because he only had a scarf as proof. But if Jaejoong truly knew everything I should do something to make it clear. To erase every mistake I made So I decided to answer Yoochun hyung's call that afternoon.

[...Junsu....] A sorrowful voice came through the phone. It made my heart shiver, but only for a moment. Because the past pain has taught me to be stronger.

“I don't think you understand what I'm saying. Why don't you just stop messing with me!! We should retreat to our original places!!” He and I should stay in our own places. We should care about our own people very much. Yes...it should be like that to be correct.

[I won't give in...I won't give in, Junsu...why...why? We get along well, don't we? Why don't you sympathize with me?]

“You are the one who doesn't sympathize with me. Yoohwan is my lover. Jaejoong is my close friend. Don't you understand how difficult it is for me?!!” I felt uncomfortable. I was so tired of wearing a mask all the time that I almost suffocated. Why didn't he think of it?

[What about you? You've come to make me so lost. and then thought of simply striking away Is it like this? What do you do with your heart?..Kim Junsu...]

I sighed heavily... Yoochun hyung acted like he wouldn't listen to anything. It made me have no strength to continue talking.

“So you don't feel sorry for me? Why won't you let me go? I'm begging you, for the sake of letting you go so much. Please take pity on me. I can't take it anymore,” I said softly. I'm tired of talking to people who keep their ears closed. There's nothing better, so why waste more energy?

[no!! If you're going bad I'm about to die because of you too. Let it be known that you can cut me out of your life. If you have to lose, let it all be ruined!!]

I can't believe my ears.... Yoochun hyung has gone crazy.. he's been so consumed by his hot emotions that I won't return... but I won't let him ruin the life of the person I love!!

“You are a disgusting man!! I can't kick you out of my life because of Yoohwan. Please know this!! But I will never know your existence in my world again!!” I shouted at the phone before throwing it on the ground until it shattered into pieces. I admit that I can't stand this man any longer. Why is he so stubborn and stubborn?!!

Paste~!! Heavy rhythmic applause It made me, who was extremely angry, flinch.

“Your voice must be as sweet as your candy and your body. Other boyfriends have to call every day.”

“Jaejoong!!!” I called out the person's name, not believing what he had just said to me.

“What are you shocked about? I just came to visit a close friend I've been with for a long time out of nostalgia. Why do you act like you don't want to welcome me? Isn't that a bit rude?" Jaejoong stood with his arms crossed on his chest, leaning against the door frame, speaking in such a cold voice that I began to feel bad.

"floor..."

“Oh...maybe you don't know what customs you should follow?” I widened my eyes as if asking what he meant?

“Jaejoong...why do you say this?” I held back my courage to ask even though my heart was beginning to catch on to him. I think Jaejoong must have heard what I was talking to his lover just now. And my friend probably knows the past story...more or less...

Which I guessed correctly... because after finishing the question... the cold smile on the beautiful face changed into a smooth, tight mouth with big eyes that shone as if they were very angry at me.

“Do I still have to ask? Huh!! Kim Junsu, will you dare to take kind words? From someone who was betrayed by you again? How brazen can you be?!!” Jaejoong rushed over and pulled my arm towards me before shaking it harshly without mercy. The look in Jaejoong's eyes that stared deep into my eyes contained only a fire of destruction that almost burned away any glimmer of hope in my heart.

“Jaejoong!!” I called out to him. Because even if Jaejoong knew what But that was in the past. He shouldn't have scolded me so harshly.

"Why? Even though I said I didn't prepare a script, I'm sure there won't be any mistakes. Because it came from the mouth of a friend who has always been sincere to you!!” Jaejoong pushed me away. before throwing something at it until it hit the face hard.

“Ouch!!” I held onto my left eye socket because I felt the pain of being hit by something hard. Before using his other eye to look at the many things that had fallen at his feet.

“This torn scarf!! Snacks like this that I saw at your shop!! Ten sheets of your handwritten notes!! You probably don't have to read what it says!! Are you going to bring any more evidence? You stubborn villain!!”

I couldn't respond to my friend's angry words. I could only look at those things in turn and gulped. The scarf that I pulled until it fell off my neck Yoochun hyung really kept it. So...a glittering golden candy box with heart-shaped chocolate that only one person in the world has ever tasted....

A note with a message that the more you write and send to each other, the deeper the relationship becomes.... I have nothing else to explain to Jaejoong...

When I saw him, I couldn't argue. Jaejoong smiled as he looked at the defendant who had no excuse.

“In that case, I would like to ask some questions…”

“..." I looked up from those things. Look at the face of the officer who is setting up the table to interrogate me. When Jaejoong saw that I had nothing to object, he swallowed hard, suppressing his emotions before asking in a cold voice.

“How long have you been doing this? You and Yoochun hyung....have been secretly eating each other behind my back for how long?!!” His initially calm tone turned into a shout when he probably couldn't hold back his raging emotions.

I have nothing to answer. Or actually... I don't know if the things I hid from Yohwan and Jaejoong are hurting because of my actions. How long should it be hit?....Since I never knew anything...

"If you don't answer, I'll change the question."

“Why don't you quit? At first, you didn't know what I was talking about. But now that I know....why are you still in contact? Why do you still make Yoochun hyung..” Jaejoong asked as if I was the cause of the endless chaos. Even though I wanted to end everything since I knew Jaejoong's status. But it's because of who doesn't think of giving it up once and for all...

The people who are suffering because of this humiliating situation right now are not just Jaejoong's lovers...don't you know that?...

“Kim Junsu!! Answer me!!” When he saw me keeping quiet, he turned away. Jaejoong, who wouldn't let anyone ignore him, came straight up and grabbed my arm and shook it until we both threw up. His long nails dug into my arms without any effort.

“I'm hurt, Jaejoong!!”

“It hurts?...I feel hurt...it hurts so much..it hurts knowing that the lover I devoted my heart to for more than seven years has betrayed me. Now Yoochun hyung sees me as an air element. I saw that it was toxic smoke that he couldn't stay in the room with. Are you still not satisfied?!! But it hurts more than that, Junsu...you know that right?...because That person is a boss!!

The person who took Yoochun hyung away from me is the person I love and trust the most!! How can you pretend to be honest while listening to the class vent about Yoochun hyung? Huh!! Junsu, how did you do it?!!” Jaejoong raised his voice and asked impatiently. Tears flowed down her cheeks in a long way. I sobbed until I was shaking, making me feel sorry for him who had to be in this situation because I was the cause. I felt so bad that I let out a loud yelp.

“Heck Jaejoong, I'm sorry..sorry,” was all I could say to him. It really can't think of anything. Besides wanting him to forgive

"cry? Why are you crying? Do you feel guilty? Do you act like you do dramas every time?” The more you saw me, I was sobbing as well. Jaejoong used more force to dig his nails into my arm. His face looked hurt, disappointed, and completely devoid of trust in me.

“Jaejoong, I really haven't been in contact with Yoochun hyung anymore. Please believe me. He called just now..” He didn't let me explain. Jaejoong suddenly interrupted without any face.

"Oh..are you saying that my boyfriend acts stupid, pretends not to know, and pushes her to bully you? Heh, that's a good thing to say."

I shake my head nervously. I didn't want him to understand that I was trying to make a defense or anything. I just want him to know that I didn't intend to hurt Jaejoong at all...I never even thought about it...

“Yuchun hyung who was more honest with me than anyone else. He changed because of you. But I'll tell you something...I won't spit out the breast meat from my mouth. If you're still going to fight for the same piece of meat as me, Just keep pushing it until someone runs out of energy first. Otherwise, they will bite each other to death.”

“Jaejoong, no!!” Why did he say this? I never wanted us to be enemies. Why did he have to act against me? Why does he talk like all our years of friendship are worthless?

“It doesn't end with today, Junsu. But I'll give you time to prepare yourself. For Yuhwan's sake, he loves you so much. I will use the word friend between us today is the last day. Give you a chance to think.”

“Jaejoong, please, I love you.” I tried to beg him not to cut short our friendship. I couldn't stand it.

“Huh, I want to warn you, Junsu. If you still insist on wanting other people's things. Your life will be torn to pieces.” Jaejoong squeezed my arm to make sure I could hear every word he said clearly. Before releasing his hand, he turned and walked away.

“Jaejoong!! Huh, Jaejoong..." I watched the thin back of my face disappear from view without even having the strength to run after and hold my dear friend. I collapsed onto the cold floor of the room. His heart squeezed so tightly that it ached, as if someone had pressed it down so it couldn't pump blood like usual. It was stuffed in my chest to the point of being completely uncomfortable. Suffering but unable to do anything

The sorrow poured out without stopping. It's so much I let the tears bring out the pain for myself to know...I will never receive love from Kim Jaejoong again....

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

“Junsu!! Junsu!!” The first voice after I was branded a traitorous friend. Why does it have to be the voice of someone I really don't want to hear?

The person who was the cause of all this still had a face appear in this room. Why would he have to destroy the peace that I had worked so hard to create since yesterday evening?

Elder Yoochun ran with an alert expression and opened the door to enter a room without light. I guessed it from the shadows. That he was probably walking around the room trying to figure out where I was. I don't know how he got here? Or why did you come? But now I don't want to see him.

...The person who caused my friendship with Jaejoong to fall apart....

The smelly sigh of boredom probably made Yoochun hyung guess my location. The shadow moved and stopped in front of him. But before he could touch any part of me My tolerance was so exhausted that I couldn't bear to breathe the air in the same room with him any longer.

“Get out, get out!! Please stop ruining my life. Stop trampling on my feelings. I'm not your toy!!” I screamed and chased him away from here. I squirmed violently when he tried to hold me in his embrace. I punched him, unable to look as if I didn't want him to come closer. But Yoochun hyung still broke through the cordon and grabbed me firmly.

“You never saw us as toys, Junsu!!” His firm voice made me stop protesting for a moment. But thinking that this person was using words to convince me to become a victim every time made me not want to give in.

“Then why are you doing this to me?!! Why are you torturing me?!!” I still refused to stay silent easily. I twisted my body out of his grip every once in a while. But the other party seemed to hold onto it so tightly that it was helpless.

“Listen to me!! Do you think it doesn't hurt you to see me like this?!!” Yoochun hyung scolded me as if he wanted to teach a lesson to a naughty kid who always went on a hysterical rampage and didn't listen to anyone.

His words made me stop resisting. Tears that had dried up since yesterday came back up just hearing that he understood how sad I was because of the decision I had made. Both at the beginning with high spirits, not caring about anyone, putting your own needs first. Or even the final episode where you decide to end everything for something you think is more important. But in the end...I had nothing left..

I'm crying...at my shallow thoughts. of yourself that causes others pain

I'm sad...that I still feel good about this little gentleness from this person. The embrace that I have been yearning for with every breath since we met. The love that I wish to own even though it must come at the expense of many others' pain. I hate myself so much that my heart softens just because he holds me like this.

And I hate myself even more when my old habits It ordered me to say words that hurt my own heart.

“I slept with Yoohwan. I let him go. Our stories have nothing to do with each other. I chose him.”

The comforting hand on my back stopped. Before Yoochun unnie loosened his arms to look at me. His dark eyes flickered, as if pleading that what I said was just a joke. But I chose to keep a straight face. Refusing to show the trembling inside for him to see. When choosing to cut I will do it.

“You lied. You never…” His words were so confident that they made me smile. I know he doesn't like my defiance. But the more I don't like it. The more I wanted to provoke him into anger. I was hurt and wanted him to be hurt too. I've gone too deep to pull myself back.

“Why not?!! You're only with me when we have sex. What will you come to know? What did you know?!!”

The gestures, the words, whatever it was that made Yoochun hyung feel like I was looking down on him. I show it all I still force myself to run my hand over the rose stem even though the thorns are pricking until it's dripping...the satisfaction that comes in exchange for excruciating pain.

...We humans are stupid like this...

“Don't say that, Junsu, you're making me angry.” Yoochun hyung gently pushed me, who was sitting on my knees. Lie face up on the sofa. Eyes flashing with anger mixed with pain, they stared at the person who was speaking incoherently. before turning to his side to suppress his emotions I know Yoochun hyung doesn't want to fight. He probably intended to cool down as much as possible to talk things out. But so what? Do you think I'll stop? There's no way!!

“So what are you going to do?!! Can you resist me because you're angry? Take it!! Go ahead!! I will know that it really is just that between us.” I still stubbornly continued to challenge him fiercely.

Yoochun hyung turned his face back and stared at me as if he was going to eat my flesh and blood. But for a moment, his eyes softened until my heart fluttered. Yoochun hyung moved towards me, who was placing his arms behind him to support himself in his seat. The distance between us keeps shrinking. Until I had to close my eyes tightly I thought he would hurt me like he had dared. But the warm breath that accompanied the words in his ear shook Kim Junsu's entire world in a way he never dreamed of hearing one day.

“I love you, did you hear that I love you, Junsu?” softly but firmly. Is this the answer he wanted to tell me? Did Yoochun hyung really mean to answer me like this? I didn't misunderstand myself, right?

But when I think of bad things What he's always done to me This made me quickly create a shield to reflect his deception.

“I don't want to listen!!” The more he came to tell me now I really don't want to listen. Did he think that something would change?

Yoochun hyung saw that I was about to refuse. So he confirmed his words with a warm touch on his lips, this touch, this place. that he was the only one who possessed

I put pressure on the person's shoulder and touched him, but Yoochun hyung ignored his slight resistance. Yoochun hyung kept his weight down to let him know that he would not accept rejection. When he touched my face, I lifted it up to wait for a deeper touch. He gently tugged at the petals to ask for permission.

I tried to turn away from the touch because I didn't want to be forced into it like usual. But when his arms held my waist close, I opened my lips to answer easily.

Yoochun hyung conveyed love, sorrow, disappointment, and various worries through his sweet and gentle touch for me to know. He kissed and caressed my lips like a person who was so intoxicated that he forgot everything around him. After a moment, he removed his lips. Press kisses along the slender face. before ending with forceful bites on the thin skin in the crook of his neck

“Junsu...hyung...” His voice was hoarse and low, like someone who was delirious and wanted to vent some of his feelings, causing me to strain my ears and intend to listen, but....

“Junsu, why do you have to write a letter to make an appointment with me? You can get a message here. Or do you want to try out the class…” The new person's voice trailed off as soon as Yoochun hyung and I turned towards him.

“Yuhwan!!”

The image of my lover holding a piece of paper in his hand and smiling as he looked at the live movie set in front of him made me quickly pull away from Yoochun hyung like I was touching something hot. But it wasn't too late... His cheerful smiling face suddenly became tense as papers and bags were dropped to the ground beside him.

“Jaejoong...Mr....” Yoochun's voice drew my eyes to another guest walking in behind Yoohwan. and was looking at the picture in front of him with a winning smile.

“I just use the same method. Looks like it worked out fine, right?” Jaejoong folded his arms over his chest and stood with his legs crossed, leaning against the door edge comfortably, even though the tense atmosphere was spreading over us.

I looked at the pained and disappointed expression of my lover. Yoohwan was about to cry. he is sad I don't want him to shed tears over my mistakes. Every time he sheds tears it's because I have something sad and he's crying too. But this time...he was seeing it with his own eyes. It's very heavy.

I don't want to guess how...Yuhwan is feeling....

“Yuhwan, listen to me first. I..” I got up from the sofa and walked quickly towards him. I wanted to tell him that I didn't mean to.

Phew!!! The sound of the clatter and the numb feeling on my cheek made me dizzy. Without me knowing, the image of Yuhwan's face suddenly changed to that of his own desk.

“Junsu!!” Yoochun hyung's shocked cry made me turn my head back to look at my lover, unable to understand what had just happened. The arm that just moved back from the other side it had just flicked caused me to raise my hand to cup my cheek. A feeling of pain shot up into my brain as soon as my finger touched it.

....Did I get slapped in the face by Yuhwan?....

I couldn't believe the look on Yuhwan's neutral expression that didn't show any joy or pleasure. The slender-eyed unit that was looking at me had a cold look that I had never seen before. A single tear slipped down my cheek from pain or shock, I don't know. But the warmth of it flowing through the cheeks that were starting to swell only increased the ache in my heart.

My lover...did he just hurt me...like that? Yoohwan who never even let me feel sick. He never neglected my physical and mental health. Yuhwan never even allowed insects or anything to irritate my skin. He never even allowed my food to be too hot or too cold. That Yuhwan...he just slapped me in the face?....

The person who just lowered his hand to his side didn't answer any questions. that popped up in my mind even a little bit Yuhwan lowered himself down and picked up his bag before turning and walking out of the room without looking at me or saying a word.

It was the first time I had been turned away by Yoohwan since we'd known each other. There was never a time that Yoohwan would let me face a difficult situation alone. There was never a time when he wasn't there when I needed him. There was never a time that I turned around and didn't see him. My back has moved further away, making me unable to stand.

I want to call out to him to come back, but my throat doesn't have the voice to protest. Do I still dare to ask for anything from him?

The touch on my shoulder gave me goosebumps. before shaking himself as if disgusted by it This time, I don't want to be touched by Yoochun hyung from the depths of my heart. My whole body was shaking like a baby bird. My subconscious told me to reject everything from him as soon as Yuhwan's sight disappeared. I was so scared that I felt like I wanted to vomit just because he came close.

“You go out!! Don't touch me. Yoohwan!!...Huh....Huh..." I moaned. In my heart I begged for people who would never hear. I don't care what my condition is. It may seem worthless, miserable, or pathetic. I only know that I have nothing left....really...

“Jaejoong, we need to talk,” a deep voice floated from far away. Even though it wasn't spoken to me, it was enough to make me crawl away until I was stuck on the other side of the sofa.

The sound of approaching footsteps made me instinctively flee. I was startled when a cold, sweet voice sounded in my ear, reinforcing the truth that had just happened...a cruel event that had seriously hurt me to the point of death....

“I said I warned you last time. This is the punishment you should receive...[

b]

friend[/

b]...”

TBC-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

What should I do?

Original content question Floating over and over in my head. No matter how you want to brush it off, you can only force it to fade away periodically.

A question that we often face when we are in a difficult situation and cannot find a solution to our own problems. It often makes people want to repeat their thoughts. And this is another miracle of the creature that is called 'human' because it has solved the limitations of the body and challenged nature over and over. But when I came across the problem that I myself created.

The brain that was once fluid and had nothing to surround it with was suddenly thrown away. Wherever he is, he cannot know.

'Jaejoong is...your boyfriend...' The truthful sentence shook my little bright world. Kim Junsu still reverberated in my reverie even though the person who uttered it had disappeared for a long time. already

There's no need to tell me how I felt after taking it into my senses. Glad...probably not Sorry...not again. Disappointed...for sure But what I clearly feel is... fear....

I'm afraid to realize that what I've done is expanding beyond what I thought.

If I were to tell you the story of the secret story between my boyfriend's older brother and his younger brother's girlfriend. It would probably take a long time for one book to record it all. Even though it's only been around for less than three months, it's already changing people's lives. Many people I led into this love game on purpose. Maybe not all

But it was well thought out. Some people may think that Kim Junsu is a shameless person who dares to have sex with his lover's older brother. I accept that criticism. But if I say that the sincerity that I showed to Yoohwan when we agreed to meet up... is the real thing... Will anyone find it funny? But please believe me...I really love Yoohwan...

And what about Yoochun?

That man...I love him too.

Listen, see many hearts if one person loves many people at the same time. What they say is that humans are complex creatures is probably true for me. Only the love I have for both of them is different.

Yoo Hwan...is like the water that keeps my heart moist and lively. He's cute, gentle, and a good person like an angel. He takes care of me, pampers me sometimes, waits for me when I act like I'm misbehaving. Stay by my side when I'm tired from chasing my dreams. We've only been dating for a few months. But the length of time he kept giving me love started when I didn't know. But now...he has made me unable to live without it.

I don't love the goodness or the many things he does. But I love that he is Yoohwan. I love....because he is a part of me.

Yoo Hwan understands me best. He knows almost everything about me. Even though some things...I never knew I was like that. But the painful truth stemmed from me alone and caused me to seek. Find complements from somewhere other than him. Something Yuhwan had never experienced or known existed. Another side of...Kim Junsu...

People generally look at me as a little angel. That's who I am when I have Yuhwan beside me. My lover created that image for me. Hair that never had a clear mold of its own, so I lived my life following an elongated framework without ever thinking about what I wanted to be like? Until one day The day when a small crack appeared

The walls, which looked strong but were fragile, expanded until the shields that concealed them enlarged. My true self was shattered into pieces. Can't find the original shape

That day...the day I met a man named..Park Yoochun...

When Yoohwan officially asked to date me. I agreed because I thought nothing would change between us. He was so happy that he wanted to take his new 'lover' to show off to the brother he respected. Yoohwan loves Yoochun hyung very much. He always told me stories about his blood brother. Until I felt familiar, as if I had known him for a long time, even though I had never met him.

And the day I got to experience the real person of that person It also caused the status of Yuhwan that had always existed in my heart to be shaken.

Glittering, completely black eyes swept across my face and body until the blood in my body surged. He might just be considering Noi Chai's girlfriend as a guardian. But those sharp eyes cut away the peace that I had been so happy about. Life continues like this. until torn apart in pieces He revealed the identity that I had hidden all this time until that moment. I knew that

I'm going to have to get this guy. Either way

I may be really crazy or stupid like a careless person. So he agreed to follow Yuhwan out to drink at his brother's invitation. Of course, Yuhwan was surprised that I suddenly wanted to try something intoxicating even though I had always refused. I was trembling. Feeling excited myself as I walked across the ruins. The past was Yuhwan's territory. He came out to face the temptations ahead.

Glass after glass was poured down his throat until Yuhwan had to stop him. But because of Yoochun's urging, his younger brother didn't dare protest much.

Maybe it was fate or someone's intention...Yohwan was suddenly summoned to the university, so he entrusted me to his brother. Like depositing meat into a tiger's mouth. That night...secret relationship Our journey begins...with atmosphere...with satisfaction...or with excitement. A surge of raw emotion within us made us both indulge in a famous night. A symbol of freedom for me

Whatever the reason, for me, after that night I realized that Just Yoochun hyung's body that I have isn't enough...but I want it all...

That night...maybe Yoochun hyung did it because he was drunk or not, I don't know...but there was something. One thing I'm sure of...that night...Kim Junsu was completely conscious...

“.....Su..” A soft sound like wind blowing past a swaying tree penetrated into the thought system that was flowing with its flow.

“..Su.....Jun.....” The clarity of the voice comes with volume, emphasizing the heavy rhythm of the speaker.

"...." Ah...it's so familiar. Keep talking. I really like listening to this kind of tone. A voice that makes you know that you're talking to someone important just by listening.

“.....Junsu...." The connotation of my name in succession did not make the person processing the information in his brain think. I'll turn my attention to the fact that the voice that warms my heart probably wants to drag me away to find me.

"...." But what is the matter?...Can I just understand the tone but not interpret the meaning? And when you sit and listen to the accompaniment like this, it's really enjoyable.

“Kiss!!” A soft, flexible touch pressed down gently. On the side of the cheek, the white space filled with thoughts was doing its job, and the background was suddenly torn away and turned into a dark office door.

“Ah!!....Yuhwan!!” I slapped my hand on my cheek. Followed by his eyes flicking to the person who was holding up his hands to protect himself.

“Don't!! Don't punch Junsu.” His words made me look at my automatic reaction.

I just stood up. With an emphatic fist I'm raising my head and preparing to use it....Is this how I normally respond to him?....

“What are you playing?!!” I shook my fist. before sitting down in the office chair as usual I don't want to be a violent person. But who is using it? What was Yuhwan thinking about stealing a kiss on the cheek that he had never done before?

"Oh, I'm sorry...well...I called and you didn't pay attention." He said and came to stand behind him. Squeezing and massaging the acupressure points was enough to make me drowsy. But that's it. It's an outrageous case. Ten years of investigation is still not too late. And the more I get upset like this Don't expect to let it pass.

“You know I don't like it!!” I raised my voice at him without looking at him. I knew he felt bad because there were a few times I would throw myself at Yuhwan. Even though he likes to tease and tease But I never felt annoyed. But this time he really went too far. I don't like that Yohwan acts like an opportunist like this.

“Well, I know....but we're lovers...it should be..” The touch on the shoulder left with a tone of hurt that he didn't try to hide. Yuhwan was trying to argue. He is elevating our status by claiming things that we all already understand. Why don't I like him showing his love like this?

“Your mouth says I'm important...you're just like everyone else...”

I must have been born unlucky. The only people who come in are those hoping for a profound touch from the body. Those people make me afraid to believe in love. They make me disgusted with the crude relationships that greedy people claim is beautiful for. What do you hope to get from me? I hate people who only look at me like that. But with Yoohwan....

He never made me feel like I was around people with evil hearts. Maybe because we've known each other for a long time. He knows what I've been through and he knows I trust him when I'm with him. Yuhwan had never touched me in a way that made me feel the feelings that were naturally buried. The embrace he gave was only tender love. Always makes me feel calm and comfortable when we're near each other.

But...even when he said he understood me Even though I believe that he will never make me feel bad about these things. Thinking that the good Yuhwan was about to become someone I didn't know, my eyes grew hot. I was so disappointed. Enough to make the water droplet overflow, dragging the warm air touching the skin of your cheek and dripping onto your lap.

I stifled sobs with the back of the chair between us. I heard Yoohwan sigh. followed by silence

"Sorry...it was my fault...sorry...Junsu, don't be angry..." My lover's voice trembled a little. Yoohwan is sad...I know. He cherishes me very much. Both physically and mentally Even the embrace that holds me now is as soft as cotton that is ready to Bury your face in and convey the various feelings rushing around in your heart.

I didn't say anything in response to him. I rested my head on his stomach. The tears disappeared and only a feeling of self-pity remained. I feel bad that my current self cannot respond to Yohwan like I did to his older brother.

I don't like Yoohwan's touch just now...but if it was the same touch from Yoochun hyung....I wouldn't reject it...

I am never confused about what I want from anyone. But I'm not sure if it's appropriate to let it go like this.

“Man, what are you upset about, Junsu? I don't understand. I'm sorry if something about me made you feel bad. Please tell me. I don't want you to understand that I don't care for you like those men, please.”

Yuhwan sensed that I must have had some other discomfort. Mixed with frustration from the things he did. Yuhwan never ignores every feeling. Every single move of mine

I used to think that I was unlucky...but if fate would console me by sending Yoohwan...it would be more than enough..

“Never mind it, I'm a bully. Don't think too much.” I tapped my forehead repeatedly. I left in the same place to say that I was better.

“Sir, are you okay?” He never asked for a reason that made me difficult to answer. He stroked the crown of his head, gently combing his hair to release the tension. I closed my eyes and received that care with my whole heart.

"um"

We hugged each other, smiled at each other, made eye contact and gave love. Enough to let the warmth spread throughout the small work room. The laughter from the heart returned loudly to be heard. Until when I released my embrace, Yuhwan let me return to his meditation. Work that I have been neglecting and neglecting for a long time.

“Ah!! Is that a new snack? Please give me a taste...oh!!..” I unconsciously jumped in and grabbed Yuhwan's wrist when I saw him pretending to unwrap the chocolate. Heart-shaped chocolates wrapped in gold paper are placed in a tray on the table.

“Can't you eat? Is it for the customer?” Yuhwan lightly touched the tip of his other finger on my wrist. Let me calm down. he asked Ta Sue, feeling guilty after seeing me say something to stop him, much to the shock of both sides.

Yoohwan was probably shocked that he almost ruined mine...but I was...shocked that Yoohwan was reaching out and plucking out my secrets...

“No...not...” I loosened my hand, secretly apologizing in my heart when I saw the red mark on my thin, white wrist. I must have pressed hard.

“Did you make it for someone? I'm sorry.” Yuhwan moved to hold my hand and squeezed it gently. To tell my eyes that it's okay.

The sight of familiar hands clasping my sweaty palms made me think back to the image of two people walking hand in hand out of the store a few hours ago.

....Hyung, Yoochun and my old friend Jaejoong are lovers...a fact that I just found out. A truth that stopped every nerve from feeling tense for several minutes. If that's the case...the snacks I sent to Yoochun hyung until he came to the shop. ?...Should it be reserved for him alone?...Since Yoochun hyung doesn't? I have only me...

“Yuhwan...you should eat it.” I originally created this dessert recipe to have fun with Yoochun hyung, and the more it turned out better than expected, the more I wanted to keep it as a secret recipe. I never thought of putting it up for sale like I had told him before. But now...it probably isn't important anymore..

“I don't want it anymore. You don't seem to want me to taste it. It's probably still incomplete, right? I can wait for your approval first.” Yuhwan smiled teasingly as he turned his attention to other snacks. He knew that I didn't want anyone to taste a dessert that I wasn't happy with.

I bent my head down and continued to focus on my work, leaving Yuhwan to smell the pastries that had just come out of the oven on the other side of the room. After a moment I realized that he still hadn't told me the reason for coming.

“Then why did you come today? There's a seminar, right?"

“The seniors brought a team to go to the beach with the teacher, so they canceled it. I was going to invite you to dinner.”

“Dinner? You're inviting me to dinner?!!” This dinner is actually eating dinner at a fancy restaurant. Is it by candlelight like in the movies? A hundred days and a thousand years, we used to eat it at a roadside restaurant or fast food because it was so crispy. But today, did you win any prizes or what?

“I wasn't the one who paid for it. I don't have wisdom. People with money volunteer to care for me.” Yuhwan must have seen my surprised expression, like a dolphin giving birth to eggs, so he replied with a wry smile.

“People with money?”

“It's Yoochun hyung. He wanted to raise a party to celebrate Jaejoong's move back to work in Seoul. So he invited us too. I don't understand why the two of us don't go have a sweet time together. I wonder if you want to celebrate the fact that the daughters-in-law of Ban Park are close?...Wow....”

The first name followed by the second made me ignore the teasing sentence from my lover who was raising his arms. Protect yourself as usual. When I sent my eyes to ask Yuhwan looked confused and a little disappointed. That my own jokes don't work like usual.

"....Oh...you didn't hit me?"

“Mazo or what? Do you like violence?” I looked at him with a blank expression. of him and asked simply. Because right now my heart is pounding.

“No, not at all. It's normal for me to say something like this. You'd have to be scolded. You must be really sick, Junsu. Do you want to go see a doctor?” Yuhwan was truly worried, not just teasing. He came to cling to my arm, resting my forehead, looking around for any marks on my body until I laughed out loud from the excitement beyond measure. Then I came to confirm to myself...I am the one who likes (uses) violence. It's not Yuhwan....

“Too much, Yuhwan. I'm just thinking about whether I have free time or not?” I gently pushed his forehead away. before returning to flashback mode again

After Yoochun hyung's confession, I went into silent mode, like being unplugged. Until the teasing voice of Yhwan standing next to him Pulled back to see Jaejoong, his eyes curled and he was shyly holding his lover's arm. When I saw it, I wanted to close the shop and chase everyone out. To let myself be alone But when it can't be done, that's it.

I didn't know what he was talking about. The story of inviting each other to celebrate is even bigger. I didn't want to get involved in the uncomfortable atmosphere there, so I didn't bother to listen.

Yoochun hyung, what was he thinking or what was he thinking in the past that he responded to me even though he had a girlfriend? Already embodied I don't want to find reasons that I can never guess right for myself. I'm not ready to think about anything. The only thing that flashed through my mind was that I had to stop...end everything I set out to do. Happened all this time

It wasn't because I was born feeling guilty for Yuhwan now or ashamed for getting involved with someone who had a boyfriend. Moreover, those latter reasons never existed in my brain. I myself already have a boyfriend and still dare to start everything. And let alone the other party's girlfriend. Even knowing Yoochun hyung's status, I still don't plan on breaking up. But that was a condition other than that the person who was accidentally pulled in was not....Kim Jaejoong.... My 'close friend'

“I don't want to go...so I came to ask first. In case you don't go, I'll take the opportunity to fight.” Yuhwan's moaning sound made me realize that I wasn't alone.

“Why don't you want to go?”

“Well, Jaejoong hyung likes to tease me. Every time I encounter something, I always get it.”

Yoohwan's answer showed that Jaejoong seemed quite close to the Park family. The more they teased each other in the store, the more it made me want to be reminded that I had done something wrong. How many friends have gone?

“Have they been together for a long time?”

“Um... since I was in high school, maybe six or seven years ago.” When I heard the length of time I was shocked.

Yoo Hwan said that Jaejoong's parents had matched the two of them since Yoochun's debut. It must have been before I met Jaejoong. At that time, Jaejoong was tricked by a man who wanted money. Jaejoong was very sad, his condition was very bad, just in time for the fathers of the two sides who used to be old friends to meet again. When I saw Yoochun taking good care of Jaejoong

And Jaejoong seemed to open up to Yoochun so they started dating. Yoochun didn't deny it because he didn't have anyone at that time. So we continued dating.

The more I found out, the more I shouldn't have shown up. I feel bad that Yoochun hyung didn't tell anything. I thought he was different from those men. Even though Yoochun hyung is the only one I feel like touching. Want to get to know each other more deeply than when we were with Yoohwan. But when it became like this Can't think of anything other than...

Yoochun hyung really only hopes for my body. And another reason I didn't want to go was because I didn't know what to do when I met Jaejoong. Even if I'm bad, how bad will I be? But he held firm in his heart that he would never betray his friend, but suddenly his intention was destroyed without realizing it like this, it also lost a lot of focus.

...One person doesn't want to look at me....the other doesn't dare make eye contact...isn't that enough for me to avoid this meeting?

“If you don't want to go, then just refuse. Today I feel sluggish.”

Not even a minute into telling what he had decided, the sound of an incoming message shattered his resolve.

[Junsu, my dear friend, you already knew from Yoohwan, right? Come along, Kim Jaejoong doesn't take no for an answer, you know that? [Keke]

Because of a threatening message that I could never disobey from a close friend who I just thought was dishonest, stabbed me in the back, or hit me in the face, whatever it was that made Yoohwan and I have to stand in front of the store. Amazing Japanese food according to the policy of saving money (yourself) but eating without holding back. Jaejoong's

“Hello bro, hello sis!!” Yuhwan called out to his older brother who looked very interested and looked this way. before turning to greet my friend irritably

“Come, je je!! Wait a minute!!” Jaejoong slammed the table, pretending to get up and attack him. So Yuhwan ran and hid after using me as a shield.

“Wow!! Junsu, your friend is going to bite my head off again.”

Yoochun pulled his lover's arm and sat down as usual. before nodding and motioning for us to sit on the opposite side. And because of Yohwan's good nature He pushed me to walk in and sit first. It was the exact opposite position of Yoochun's hyung, with no opportunity to object. So I just sat down and tried to keep my irritation hidden.

“Jun Su, break up with it. And then I'll introduce you to a handsome, rich, handsome Japanese man with a handsome attitude instead.” Jaejoong pointed at me with the chopsticks that he had just stuffed the salmon sashimi into his mouth with. After we started to taste the food that our host had ordered.

“Yay!! Stop it, Kim Jaejoong, until you start flirting with Junsu. It's more difficult than climbing Mount Everest. You're still trying to stir things up between people.” Yuhwan used his own chopsticks to flick the other person's weapon in another direction before grabbing a California Roll. Put it on my plate and smile sweetly. When Jaejoong saw our sweet scene, Wasabi pretended to shove it into the naughty little guy's mouth. Yuhwan could only turn his head away, pursed his lips tightly.

“If you don't want Junsu to break up with you, then learn how to approach friends like me. We will be able to encourage each other to love each other for a long time.”

“Please help encourage Junsu to cheat on me, no matter what.”

I startled a little. Because words are like knowing the truth But when he saw Yuhwan laughing normally, he felt relieved, flicking his eyes to look at the person who was just sitting. Quiet, just put the food in your mouth. It's as if he knows the moment to strike. Yoochun looked up and stared into my eyes. Before turning around and smiling at his younger brother who was starting to look for help.

“Yuchun hyung, take care of your girlfriend. Biting people all over the place!!”

“Yuchun doesn't see his younger brother as better than his girlfriend, right? darling"

Jaejoong's words along with his hugging his arms on his shoulders and rubbing his face annoyed me just as much as the touch that crawled on my leg right now.

The table we sat at was a long Japanese table that had to be inserted under the cloth, similar to a kotatsu. Because we came to build a shop in Korea, we were able to please our customers by drilling holes in the floor for us. Lower your legs into a normal chair position. So it allowed this thick-faced guy to harass me nonstop.

No, there was a secret letter inserted like I used to do. Yoochun reached out his feet and spread them from the tip of his toes up along his calves to his knees. When he tried to come in too deep, I shook his legs off. But the brazen person who reinforced concrete did not flinch. Still clinging to my legs, touching each other under the table. In the midst of a war of saliva between the two sides..

I admit that I felt many things.

Angry....that he did something he didn't know how to think about. Even in front of his girlfriend and younger brother, he still dares.

I'm irritated...that he treats me like I'm someone that he can tease and molest in any way. He treats me like I'm worthless. Don't care about how I feel. When I knew that Yoohwan was my boyfriend. With Jaejoong who is my friend.

I feel terrible....that feels good. with this person is gone

But, another thing that I'm ashamed of feeling is... Emotions like that are rising up to the bottom of my stomach. Lately, when we met and talked in a normal way, none of that matter came into play. The needs are accumulated. I tried to keep my composure but when I saw the teasing look in his eyes, it made me lose my patience.

“Ouch!!” A loud cry echoed throughout the room, causing the two sharp-tongued opponents to freeze as their feet were thrown by me and slammed against the edge of the table.

“What's wrong Yoochun?!!” Jaejoong swooped up and rubbed him. Yoochun hyung asked in shock.

“No, he swung his leg and hit the table,” the injured man defended. I secretly smiled with satisfaction. My posture probably exerted a bit too much force. People who were hit by him were hurt to the point of tears. But people with bad behavior With me first, shouldn't I have been punished?

After the meal that day, I intentionally cut off all contact with Yoochun hyung. Rejecting an invitation to go to Yuhwan's house instead of going every week to meeting outside instead. I told the person at the store that if Yoochun hyung came to tell them that I wasn't there. Then he kept himself quiet in his office. Fortunately, work at the shop has been very busy lately, so I hardly have been able to go back to my room.

The part that bothered me the most was the phone number that couldn't be changed. You could just change it and claim it with Yohwan. But if Yoochun hyung asks to have sex with his younger sibling, I have no reason to stop him from telling me. It's still the same number that I use to answer customer calls, so I don't want to change it to make it a hassle. There are still messages from people. The dizzy, annoying face never ceases to exist like this.

[Junsu, please answer my phone.]

...When he doesn't answer the phone, he really diligently sends a message...

[Junsu, you're waiting for a message from us.]

....Wait until your mouth stops hanging, father...

[Junsu is angry?]

...Are you happy? Even after being slapped in the face, Cha still asked....

[I want to explain. Junsu answered your phone first.]

...It's quite clear, eye-catching, emotional, like watching a movie 4.

D

It probably doesn't have to be like this...

[Junsu, I'm begging you, I don't want us to end up like this.]

....I don't want to say dirty words to hurt myself. But the two of us are finished before we even started....

[Junsu, please feel sorry for me. I'm going crazy]

...Every day there are hundreds of miss calls and messages. I'm the one who can't do my job and almost go crazy...

And the last message that was sent made me almost want to throw my phone away and let it be shattered like my heart right now.

[Junsu, I want to answer our questions. Don't you want to listen anymore?]

It doesn't matter if you told me then...or now...when the truth is clear... Jung is your boyfriend and that hasn't changed. The fact that you saw me as nothing more than an outlet for your libido makes me hard to believe. What comes out of you anymore? You destroyed it and there were no good pieces left...my faith...it was crushed in your hands.

Are you still expecting something from me? Yoochun hyung is enjoying messing with me, right? Why do you have to come and disturb me while hiding in my place? I'm holding on to the part of my heart that I left with Yohwan....why don't you just let me go...

I keep asking myself that if it hurts this much, why do I still open and read about it to hurt myself? I probably want my body to experience pain to the utmost and then go away on its own...or not.... I still secretly feel good about those messages...

“Junsu!!” A bright white face with a happy smile ran towards the desolate person at full speed until I had to squint my eyes and smile.

"oh!! Jaejoong, did you come to order a cake?”

“No, I just dropped by today. I keep feeding you your cake. There's hope that a fat employee will die. Sigh...studying at the same place. Why don't I have any talent?” Jaejoong put his finger on the cream cake that I had cut up for customers to taste and put it into his mouth. Close your eyes and absorb its taste.

The story of me not returning home Because work at the shop was busy, it probably got into Jaejoong's ears and made him worried. So I followed to see with my own eyes that my friend was alive and well, not bedridden and had to be dragged to the hospital.

“Come on..you have inherited the business at home. It's that big. I should be envious of you.” Jaejoong is now the heir to Korea's number one rice cake company. So I always have time to go out and try out products on the market. But the desserts at my shop must be my personal preference, which is why I was diligent in ordering them to serve at the restaurant.

The company itself is delicious. Is it close to alkaline salt or is he just trying to find an excuse to stop by to visit a friend?

“Um...I'm probably more suited to be a foodie. Ah!! What kind of candy is this? I've never seen it before. It's beautiful.” As if déjà vu, I leapt to hold my white hand before it touched the heart-shaped chocolate wrapped in gold paper. placed on the counter

“Ah! Don't unpack it yet!!”

"Why? Or is it something that hasn't been passed yet?

QC

From President Jun?”

“Just...about that.” I planned to make some to eat myself. For whatever reason, I don't know, mourning? Or would you just regret the recipe if you were to leave it alone? If that's all, then why would I be jealous of Jaejoong?

“You are still strict. It hasn't changed at all. Do you remember that time when you said that to the teacher to help me hide the sample snack I broke? I laughed so much at the teacher's face, 'Junsu-san, you're such a professional, it's admirable'.”

I let go of Jaejoong's hand and laughed at the thought. Going to the naughty heroic deeds they did while studying together in Japan. At that time the two of us were really close. Jaejoong is a friend that I love so much that I would do anything for this friend. I will never let anything destroy our friendship...even my own love.

“Junsu...is Yoochun here having other people hanging out?” Jaejoong asked. The two of us moved to sit and sip tea in a corner of the shop.

“Why do you ask me?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. His hand fed the snack into the round mouth of the person sitting across from him....or did Jaejoong know anything?

“Well, you get to see him often, right? When I go to Yuhwan's house. I know that there will be a lot of people who like him.”

"Well....maybe I'm a star." He secretly sighed, no matter what, he just did it now.

“It's not them. Yoochun never thought too much of his co-workers or fans. I mean other people.”

From what Yoohwan told During the years after graduating, Jaejoong had to travel and expand branches to other provinces. I rarely live in Seoul. But Yoochun hyung is very honest with Jaejoong. There has never been any bad news about anyone (except me), but I don't know about other things. never bothered to ask I only care about the person in front of me when we're together.

“No, I don't know. I've never met him with anyone. Yuhwan didn't see anything.” I answered truthfully. I thought I was just lying. Jaejoong is better at detecting lies than anyone else. The more people who have known each other for a long time like me have or will escape their sight.

“Shit, brothers and sisters have to help each other hide it.”

“So, if you find out that your older brother is with someone else, what will you do?” I asked for the unlucky people in the future or maybe for myself. The answer made me swallow hard.

“If I catch you, I'll kill you both.”

If that's the case...my life will probably be executed soon. If I hadn't rushed Jaejoong back after seeing the message he just sent.

[Answer your phone, or else I'll break in and arrest you in front of everyone in the store. I really did it. If you don't believe me, try it.]

I feel disgusted by the person standing there staring intently at me right now.

after answering the phone Yoochun hyung came into the shop after I chased Jaejoong and the staff home, claiming to have come up with a top-secret recipe for a new dessert.

I looked down at the ground because at least it spared me from having to look at the part of my face that I used to love. Fingertips run along the skin causing it to hurt. Now just having to breathe the air in the same room makes me suffer until I can't breathe. Tears of hurt, regret, and disappointment welled up at the corners of my eyes to the point of frustration.

The uncomfortable silence made me hear loud footsteps approaching. I don't intend to retreat. I don't need to be afraid. I also want to know where else he will come. How else can he hurt me?

Until the shoes Dark brown varnished leather came into view. My chin was lifted up by a slender finger. But I chose to shake my head away because I didn't want to make eye contact. But Yoochun didn't relent. He also forcibly grabbed my face and turned me to look at his face. When I pretended to walk away, he still came to hold my arm.

“Junsu, listen to me first.”

“I don't want to hear anything right now. No, I don't want to hear anything from you anymore.” I even wanted to put my hands up over my ears. If you hadn't been caught like this

“Junsu, don't be like this.” I saw Yoochun hyung take a breath to suppress his emotions. He must have started to get upset that I kept denying him.

“Your words are not worth listening to anymore. Please go back.” He stood still. That made me even more irritated.

“I won't return until I understand the matter. You can't sleep at all, do you know that?"

I sneered in an expression that I thought was the most irritating. I don't want to add fuel to the fire, but right now I really can't take it anymore. How dare he speak like I was wrong? The past period has made me choose to ignore my seniority. If it can get me out of my current situation. I'm happy to be rude.

“Jae Jung? Where are you going? Why don't you let him take care of you? I can't help you. I have someone I need to take care of.” And if I had known that it would end like this, I wouldn't have betrayed Yuhwan in the first place. Exchange patchouli for salt. Take love and sincerity in exchange Only the pain of death came back. Where is it worth it?

“Junsu, why do you say this? You know that we don't love Yoohwan, right? Otherwise, we wouldn't..”

“If you want confirmation that our story is just sex. I will tell you clearly. I...love...Yuhwan..” I didn't let him look down on my love. I couldn't bear to listen when Yoohwan didn't do anything wrong. He shouldn't have come behind his own brother's back for the mistakes I committed. With these words, I beg for his forgiveness.

“I don't believe you, Junsu, tell me that you love me. Tell me!!” Yoochun hyung glared at him. His handsome face was distorted with anger until veins bulged at his temples. He pulled my arm towards me. But I pushed him away with all my might before shouting in his face.

“You go back!!”

“Hyung, I won't let you chase me away like this. Haven't you suffered enough in the past? Are you still going to..” His words immediately caused my patience to break as he rambled on about his suffering. No matter how I look at myself, it cannot be compared to what I received.

“Yuchun hyung, learn to listen to what other people say!! I told you to come back because I didn't want to see your face again. This...for life!! The reason I cut off and didn't answer your phone was because I didn't want to have anything to do with you anymore....Let's take things easy. Get out of my life...Park Yoochun!!”

I screamed as loud as I could until the whole store was loud. His hand grabbed the scarf that was wrapped around him, the only weapon easily accessible at the time. Throwing it at his face before grabbing his bag and hitting the shoulder of the person who had been scolded, he rushed out of the store.

Those harsh words are enough for a hypocritical person. Not sincere like him But you know...I said it myself, but I ended up regretting it myself.

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

The sound of the gears of the hundred-year-old clock above the office door still drives its mechanism along the flow of time without stopping. The sound of the hand flicking faster than the warning sound several times tells the other hand to prepare to move itself to another channel. Sometimes I wonder why the short needle tends to linger, waiting for him to pass one lap before realizing that he should drag his body to reach another number.

Why didn't it run and wait nearby? When it's time for you to move around just a little, you don't have to wait for someone else to dictate your life. It's like the rabbit in the childhood story who had to wait until the tortoise was ahead until he was close to the finish line before he knew he should speed up. I don't know if the tortoise is too smart to understand its rivals or the rabbit is stupid and indulges in false comfort.

I think the author of this story probably took his experience and used two animals to tell the story of human stupidity to warn others not to follow in their footsteps. And sometimes I think that he might have been in a time machine to collect the plot. From my life

Since...that rabbit is reflecting what I am right now...it's not wrong at all...

No matter how much time I spent chasing after empty love Just like the rabbit, who put in all his energy from the start. In my mind I saw the finish line clearly in front of me. We are sure that in this competition we will win great prizes. But then...the turtle suddenly appeared...

Jaejoong, who was only consistent, won from the beginning...he ran past where I was standing all the way to the finish line without me being able to do anything..

But I'm probably a lot worse than that rabbit. Because I chose to stand up and stop standing there. I was shocked and the turtle and I were not enemies like in the story...but best friends...so I just stared at the beautiful turtle who took the trophy that belonged to him. It came from the beginning and came back from my thoughts.

Even though I was very tired after just running for a short time, But the distance that passed seemed to be very long. It occupied my heart for so long that I no longer expected the reward. I want to bid farewell to the competition that unfairly stole half of my life away.

Until the day I decided to harm the body and mind of the people waiting for me to run toward the finish line. Because I already know that the person he is there is waiting to receive love. It wasn't me from the beginning.

Kim Junsu....a fool....and then you have to suffer yourself...I just did something that I never thought I'd do with Yoochun hyung..I never thought there would be a day. That I'm willing to let this man out of my life...but please...I don't want to be sensitive to love in the wrong place like this again...I don't want to be hurt that Yoochun hyung doesn't. Have you ever seen the value...

Just one touch of it made me nearly unable to stand... I didn't want to experience the disappointment of nearly killing a stupid human being. Like I'm slowly dying....again....

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

“...Junsu...” A soft voice came through and a light touch touched his hair. Warmth penetrated the senses and sent straight to the tired brain. He responded with a command and let clear water droplets flow out of his eyes, heating up at the edges of his eyes.

I swallowed every feeling that was tight and disappeared with tears. Then he turned to face the eyes that caused the guilt inside to overflow. Yuhwan looked down at me with concern. The worried expression still conceals kindness that is only for me.

“These days you seem depressed. Is it a lot of work? Do you want to hire more people?” He said slowly, but the number of questions made me know that in his heart he probably wasn't asking questions like the weather.

...My stress must have clearly had an effect on my body, making Yuhwan feel anxious....

“It's okay, Yuhwan. Not enough sleep during this time It will be better if I rest.” I wasn't lying because Yoochun hyung's persistent behavior made me unable to sleep. And even more so after I kicked him out of my life. It made me lose my appetite as well.

I choose to say what I need to say and what I think is right. I've lied to him a lot in the past. I don't want to add to the burden that's been piling up in my heart.

“Then I'd better go back first. You will get some rest.”

Later, I had to stay at the store. Yoohwan also brought his belongings, books, and movies to keep him company. Because he didn't want me to be alone after the store closed. At about 10:00 p.m. he would return home and in the early morning he would bring Mrs. Park's cooking to say good morning.

He laughed when I asked him why he refused to stay the night. Before saying that...I'm afraid I won't be able to resist...but I believe it. That even though he stayed in the same room as me all night Yoohwan still remained a gentleman without fail. That made me feel more uncomfortable when I was alone with him in this office. Because this place was too dirty and shameful for a clean white person like Yuhwan to fool around.

“Yuhwan,” I wasn't going to hold him back. Just now I feel like I want him next to me. Just a little more...only...

Seems selfish, right? Worried about love with his brother But he came back to be comforted by his lover who is his younger brother. You can scold me, you can scold me. Right now I don't have the energy to argue with anyone.

Yuhwan turned around at the sound of his voice. He looked at my face for a moment before he smiled fondly as if he saw me as a little child seeking attention. He placed all his belongings next to the door. Before walking back, he sat down on the sofa opposite the desk I was sitting at. Yoohwan grabbed my favorite pillow that I used to sleep on every night and placed it on my lap before beckoning me to come over to him.

When I sat down next to him A good father patted me on the pillow in his lap, but when he saw me he still didn't understand. He bent my head down and let me lie down on the warm pillow. Yuhwan gently stroked along the hairline before speaking slowly

“You didn't tell me what you were stressed about, that's okay. I don't want you to suffer because you're worried about telling or not. I'll wait to hear what you have to say. I'll ignore you if you don't care about it. Whatever you are comfortable doing, I will help you with everything, do you understand?”

The content was as if he was unraveling the knot that held my heart tightly, one brittle at a time. It made me unable to hold back my tears. I admit that I was very stressed because I decided to do something for my dear friend by hurting my own heart. Another thing that I'm still thinking about a lot is because I still have to hide Yohwan. I keep thinking about whether or not I should tell him if I intend to stay with him.

Should I be honest at the risk of damaging our relationship?

I only moaned loudly in my throat because I was only able to respond. How much will he make me feel good and bad at the same time until we're satisfied...this lover of mine...

“Right now you just feel the pressure and are tired of it. It can be very difficult to adjust to something you're not used to. But if you wait to find success one day When you look back, you will see the great value you gained from those times. And you won't forget that I'll always be by your side, right?"

I nodded, closing my eyes to the feel that spread along my hairline. Right now I feel so weak. I am just a fledgling bird who has yet to escape from the warm and safe nest to face the harsh real world. I'm probably still very lucky. When Somsan returned, there was still Yuhwan who spread his wings to protect and heal the heart that had been abused. And hope...it will get better...someday...

[b]

Bang~!!!!![/

b]

The sound of the door swinging against the wall made me jump up from Yuhwan's lap. Looking at the person who had just attacked the entrance to my office, I had to rush in to catch the frail figure that was about to fall to the ground.

“Jaejoong!!!”

“Hee hee hee Junsu.”

The arms that supported my limp body made me realize that My dear friend is in very bad condition. Her beautiful face was filled with tears streaming down both cheeks. The nose and lips are bright and swollen. Jaejoong kept calling my name and sobbing over and over. It's like someone is losing their mind. What happened to my friend who was indifferent to everything around him?

Who or what caused my friend who always had a smile that radiated happiness to be so sad?

“What's wrong, Jaejoong?” I asked anxiously when I saw how hard I was sobbing. But the more I heard the voice of concern, the more the arms that held me hugged me tightened as if they needed something to hold onto.

“Oh, Yoochun hyung...he...has someone else.” Jaejoong shook his head as he lamented a story that he seemed not yet ready to accept. As for me, I can hear it. He almost forgot and disappeared for a moment. A feeling of fear rushes up until it tingles.

...or does Jaejoong already know everything?....

I didn't dare to ask. I didn't even dare to look at my friend's face. Is he staring at me accusingly? I only looked at my hands that were holding my thin waist tightly, but I felt strangely weak. Until Yuhwan must have noticed that I was starting to feel unbearable. So he touched his shoulder to wake him up so they could help him sit on the sofa.

Once he had a secure shelter, Jaejoong let out another big yelp, not paying attention to his surroundings. I just sat next to him. He rubbed his head and comforted himself without saying anything, allowing his friend to let his outburst of emotions subside first. Yoohwan stood with his arms crossed and looked at me and Jaejoong with a confused expression. Probably because the person at the beginning of the story is his own brother.

Yoohwan didn't know what to do. When the moaning sound began to fade So he walked over and stood next to me before rubbing my head and pressing my nose down.

“Then I'll go back. You stayed as Jaejoong's friend for now. As for Yoochun hyung, I'll go see for myself.” I nodded. before smiling until Yuhwan walked out the door.

When Jaejoong saw that his lover's younger brother was not in the area, he opened his mouth and spoke in a tense voice.

“He had someone else while I wasn't here.” My heart dropped as soon as I heard it. But I still made up my mind to continue asking in case Yoochun hyung had anyone else besides me.

“How do you know?”

“Since we met again Yoochun hyung wasn't paying attention to me like usual. He was always working or pressing send messages. I was curious so I opened it to see. If people are lovers, there's nothing to hide, right? But when he saw me, he shouted at me loudly. Scolded until my face went numb. I didn't think I'd hear words like that come out of his mouth.

I'm even more certain that he must really care about that person.”

“And have you read those messages?” I'm not sure if the person Jaejoong said was referring to me or not? But if so...the person who made Jaejoong have to be talked down to by mean people is me...

“I didn't have time to read it. Otherwise, I probably already know who it is. Why did he do this to me, Junsu? We've been together for almost seven years. How can he do this? Even though our relationship didn't begin because of love But in the past I felt very good about him. So why did you choose someone else over me?”

Jaejoong blurted out helplessly. But I felt relieved and felt good to hear that Yoochun hyung considers me important. But I have to hurry and pull myself back from this vain dream because actually....Yuchun hyung probably isn't the only one with me...

“So what are you going to do now?” I asked because I was worried about Jaejoong. I don't know how hard I've been through this and how much I can still maintain a steady heart? And whether Jaejoong chooses to continue or end the journey The cracks that formed would make my friend unable to escape the pain.

“I won't give in!! He can't do this to me!! Yoochun hyung is responsible for making me feel this bad. That person is the same. I will have him kneel at my feet and apologize. Just wait and see!!”

The path Jaejoong chose was as if my dear friend was ordering me to cut out my heart and end my life. Am I being driven away by my karma until I spit out blood? Is the friend I love the most going to point at me and call me a traitor? Why does my heart hurt like never before?

It was as if it had been squeezed and almost shattered. Is it because I didn't love Jaejoong enough that I accidentally hurt my best friend? Was it me that caused our friendship to fall apart because of just one man?

....It's all because of me...

The sound of the door opening rang out in my reverie, causing me, who was drowning in a puddle of sorrow, to raise my head to consider the state of the world. My body was shaking uncontrollably. If no one had interrupted him, Jaejoong would have known for sure that I was the person he wanted to strangle to death in front of him.

“Yuhwan?” I said in surprise when I saw the person who had just left ten minutes ago. Showing your face into the room

“I forgot my shirt. Anyway, will Jaejoong hyung come back with me? If you love each other, let's talk to find out. Even though I don't know what happened. But what do you do to sit and moan about it?” Yuhwan walked over and picked up another jacket that he had left on the sofa. Then he turned to complain and complain to his beautiful-faced brother.

“I came to give Junsu some comfort. Can you not bother me? You don't understand anything and just take sides with your own brother.” Jaejoong flicked his eyes and bit him. Before giving away the extras

“Can't be bothered. Junsu is my boyfriend and right now he's not doing well. Look at your friend's face first. You're so pale you'll probably be sick.” Yuhwan said with a serious expression, not playing around like usual. causing Jaejoong to turn and stare at me inquisitively. before being taken aback when he saw his friend's deteriorated condition

“It's okay, Yuhwan. Jaejoong is sad. Please leave us alone.” Even if I am hurt to death. But if a friend is in trouble or is in distress I'm willing to force my body to stay beside him, but it seems like Jaejoong's good friend is no less good than mine.

“It's okay, Junsu. I'll go back first. You look a lot worse than me.... You're not a good person. How do you take care of your classmates? Let's break up. Let Junsu go in a good way,” my friend confirmed. before turning to blame my lover for not taking good care of me

“Come here, you naughty brother. Let's make a fuss and stop. I'll feel it in a moment.” Yuhwan pouted. before coming over and pulling Jaejoong to follow him out. But it seemed like Yoohwan's words made Jaejoong immediately decide on the question I had left asking.

“Yay!! You dare to threaten me? I won't let go of Yoochun hyung, you know this!!”

His answer slammed into my heart and almost made me stagger. It is already Jaejoong's right to hold onto Yoochun hyung. No matter what he says But when it comes to relationships, it depends on both parties. If Jaejoong doesn't give up Many more problems will follow.

So why do I think about it?...I intend to break up with him....so why do I think about it in case they break up?

“Then I'll come and complain. Why are you bothering my Junsu?” Yuhwan must have been worried about me, who stood there staggering and watched the two of them argue with each other for a long time. He frowned at his senior. Before both agreed to a temporary truce because they were worried about Kim Junsu's health.

...which I really feel for you. Because right now just standing still is very difficult. The stories that I had known throughout the day were overflowing and piling up everywhere. I don't know which part to start dealing with first. Now my brain works so slowly and it's frustrating. The workings of the body and the mind are completely incompatible.

I must really be in a bad state like Jaejoong said...

“Shit, you dog-mouthed bastard. Let's go get some pedigree.” Jaejoong left his goodbyes to Yohwan and shook his head and walked out of the room.

“I will go back first, Junsu. Get some rest.” My lover gave me a small smile before following him out without forgetting to gently close the door.

As soon as the light from outside is blocked The darkness in the room made me relax from the tension I had to maintain my normal self in front of the two of them. When I started to release the awkwardness His legs were so weak that he had to collapse on the floor and rest his head on the sofa cushion. I let so many thoughts flow by without thinking about picking up any issues to think about again...Now let me rest for a moment...I'm tired...so tired....

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

After that day...I learned from Yuhwan that Jaejoong and Yoochun hyung still haven't come to an understanding. Because everyone is different. So no one agreed to give it to me first. There was only confusion between the two families when meeting face to face. Suspicions about the third-party ownership of the messages have not been proven. But I can be sure that it wouldn't be me. Because the Miss Call that is bombarding us every day is like the house owning the network instead of being a rising star, it has come back to disturb my daily life again after being away for a while after receiving a white envelope from me.

....Why haven't you stopped bothering me yet?

“What are you staring at, Yoohwan?” I turned to ask my lover who had been staring at me the entire time since we walked out of the store together.

Today, Yoohwan didn't have class, so he came with me to go out and contact the store that supplies ingredients. Because the destination is not far away So I chose to walk through the lightly falling snow instead of taking the bus as usual.

“Is this the scarf I bought you?”

I looked down at the chocolate scarf that Yoohwan had bought me for my recent birthday. I really like it so I wear it with me all the time. But recently I had to remove it from my neck to use as water to chase away a mad dog from the store. Which when the team came back again, it had disappeared. So I had to go shopping and buy a similar one instead...

The piece you are wearing is therefore a new piece...

“Oh, why are you suddenly asking?” Was I lucky that I bought a replacement just in time?

“It's Jaejoong. He came to talk to me about you.” My best friend's name caused me to frown.

“About class? What do you say?”

“Strange, right? He told me to be careful of you wearing horns.”

"Eh?!!"

“I think he was too jealous of Yoochun hyung and bullied him. He said that you messed with Yoochun hyung. He said he found this scarf of yours in Yoochun hyung's room. You look like you're really serious, haha.” Yuhwan laughed as if he was telling a joke. But I couldn't help but laugh.

If it's true what Yoohwan said, then Jaejoong already knows the person Yoochun hyung is in contact with all the time. The person who ruined their love was me.

I get goosebumps thinking about every gesture Jaejoong made in reference to a third party. Jaejoong looked angry as if he was going to kill him. And what if he finds out that it's me?...What will happen?...

...And more than that...Yuhwan, do you believe it?....

“So...and what did you answer?”

“I told him that 'If Jaejoong hyung doesn't trust Yoochun hyung, it's your right. But I trust my Junsu. Because we love each other as much as the heavens.’ I didn't say that last thing to make you want me to take revenge on you, keke.”

I was stunned...Before, I knew that Yoohwan loved me very much...loved me to the point of agreeing to many things...whatever he did, he always relied on my comfort...never made me feel like... Loving him is a difficult thing at all...but after listening to the simple words he answered, From my heart without thinking too much...I remembered that the word 'much' would not be enough....Yohwan's love was even greater than that.

Yuhwan's stability is like the warm light of a tiny match lit in the midst of a blizzard raging over me now.

What makes him love and trust me this much? What makes him continue to pour out so much love for someone like me who is endlessly selfish? What's the point of being such a good person? How long will you allow me to betray you over and over again, Yuhwan?

......And if someday...you know the whole truth...will you still stick to your promise?...will you still be by my side?

If that day really comes Well...how can I live without his love to fill my breath...

"Thank you." I really couldn't hold it back. All the tears that flowed I want to give in return for his love. There may not be equal value. But I want to thank him..I want to thank my lover...really...

“Hey!! Did Junsu cry at all? Did I really make you feel that much? Don't cry.” Yuhwan was startled, turning left and right. before pulling me in for a comforting hug The gentle touch that rubbed along my back made me unable to stop myself from breaking.

...Can't help it. Who let you do this when people are sensitive?...

“Ah...but you can sing. You're crying because you're happy, right? What should I do? I saw you cry and it made me happy. I have a bad personality, right?” I secretly saw that he could hardly hold back his smile. Come on...whatever it takes...

“No, no, not at all, you are a very good person, really very good.”

My answer made him smile even wider. Yuhwan tightened his embrace. Hands caressed and comforted without fail.

“At first, I didn't know whether to tell you or not. I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. You and I are very close. And why did Jaejoong become so crazy? But it's okay, Junsu. Whatever anyone says, whatever. You still have class. Brother Jaejoong, he ghosts in and ghosts out....”

Yoohwan kept complaining to Jaejoong. But I didn't listen. Because I was in shock over the truth that I feared the most... Jaejoong already knew about it...

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

I was very stressed after returning to the store. But when I think about it again...I shouldn't have made such a big fuss. Maybe Jaejoong isn't sure yet. Because he only had a scarf as proof. But if Jaejoong truly knew everything I should do something to make it clear. To erase every mistake I made So I decided to answer Yoochun hyung's call that afternoon.

[...Junsu....] A sorrowful voice came through the phone. It made my heart shiver, but only for a moment. Because the past pain has taught me to be stronger.

“I don't think you understand what I'm saying. Why don't you just stop messing with me!! We should retreat to our original places!!” He and I should stay in our own places. We should care about our own people very much. Yes...it should be like that to be correct.

[I won't give in...I won't give in, Junsu...why...why? We get along well, don't we? Why don't you sympathize with me?]

“You are the one who doesn't sympathize with me. Yoohwan is my lover. Jaejoong is my close friend. Don't you understand how difficult it is for me?!!” I felt uncomfortable. I was so tired of wearing a mask all the time that I almost suffocated. Why didn't he think of it?

[What about you? You've come to make me so lost. and then thought of simply striking away Is it like this? What do you do with your heart?..Kim Junsu...]

I sighed heavily... Yoochun hyung acted like he wouldn't listen to anything. It made me have no strength to continue talking.

“So you don't feel sorry for me? Why don't you just let me go? I'm begging you, for the sake of letting you go so much. Please take pity on me. I can't take it anymore,” I said softly. I'm tired of talking to people who keep their ears closed. There's nothing better, so why waste more energy?

[no!! If you're going bad I'm about to die because of you too. Let it be known that you can cut me out of your life. If you have to lose, let it all be ruined!!]

I can't believe my ears.... Yoochun hyung has gone crazy.. he's been so consumed by his hot emotions that I won't return... but I won't let him ruin the life of the person I love!!

“You are a disgusting man!! I can't kick you out of my life because of Yoohwan. Please know this!! But I will never know your existence in my world again!!” I shouted at the phone before throwing it on the ground until it shattered into pieces. I admit that I can't stand this man any longer. Why is he so stubborn and stubborn?!!

Paste~!! Heavy rhythmic applause It made me, who was extremely angry, flinch.

“Your voice must be as sweet as your candy and your body. Other boyfriends have to call every day.”

“Jaejoong!!!” I called out the person's name, not believing what he had just said to me.

“What are you shocked about? I just came to visit a close friend I've been with for a long time out of nostalgia. Why do you act like you don't want to welcome me? Isn't that a bit rude?" Jaejoong stood with his arms crossed on his chest, leaning against the door frame, speaking in such a cold voice that I began to feel bad.

"floor..."

“Oh...maybe you don't know what customs you should follow?” I widened my eyes as if asking what he meant?

“Jaejoong...why do you say this?” I held back my courage to ask even though my heart was beginning to catch on to him. I think Jaejoong must have heard what I was talking to his lover just now. And my friend probably knows the past story...more or less...

Which I guessed correctly... because after finishing the question... the cold smile on the beautiful face changed into a smooth, tight mouth with big eyes that shone as if they were very angry at me.

“Do I still have to ask? Huh!! Kim Junsu, will you dare to take kind words? From someone who was betrayed by you again? How brazen can you be?!!” Jaejoong rushed over and pulled my arm towards me before shaking it harshly without mercy. The look in Jaejoong's eyes that stared deep into my eyes contained only a fire of destruction that almost burned away any glimmer of hope in my heart.

“Jaejoong!!” I called out to him. Because even if Jaejoong knew what But that was in the past. He shouldn't have scolded me so harshly.

"Why? Even though I said I didn't prepare a script, I'm sure there won't be any mistakes. Because it came from the mouth of a friend who has always been sincere to you!!” Jaejoong pushed me away. before throwing something at it until it hit the face hard.

“Ouch!!” I held onto my left eye socket because I felt the pain of being hit by something hard. Before using his other eye to look at the many things that had fallen at his feet.

“This torn scarf!! Snacks like this that I saw at your shop!! Ten sheets of your handwritten notes!! You probably don't have to read what it says!! Are you going to bring any more evidence? You stubborn villain!!”

I couldn't respond to my friend's angry words. I could only look at those things in turn and gulped. The scarf that I pulled until it fell off my neck Yoochun hyung really kept it. So...a glittering golden candy box with heart-shaped chocolate that only one person in the world has ever tasted....

A note with a message that the more you write and send to each other, the deeper the relationship becomes.... I have nothing else to explain to Jaejoong...

When I saw him, I couldn't argue. Jaejoong smiled as he looked at the defendant who had no excuse.

“In that case, I would like to ask some questions…”

“..." I looked up from those things. Look at the face of the officer who is setting up the table to interrogate me. When Jaejoong saw that I had nothing to object, he swallowed hard, suppressing his emotions before asking in a cold voice.

“How long have you been doing this? You and Yoochun hyung....have been secretly eating each other behind my back for how long?!!” His initially calm tone turned into a shout when he probably couldn't hold back his raging emotions.

I have nothing to answer. Or actually... I don't know if the things I hid from Yohwan and Jaejoong are hurting because of my actions. How long should it be hit?....Since I never knew anything...

"If you don't answer, I'll change the question."

“Why don't you quit? At first, you didn't know what I was talking about. But now that I know....why are you still in contact? Why do you still make Yoochun hyung..” Jaejoong asked as if I was the cause of the endless chaos. Even though I wanted to end everything since I knew Jaejoong's status. But it's because of who doesn't think of giving it up once and for all...

The people who are suffering because of this humiliating situation right now are not just Jaejoong's lovers...don't you know that?...

“Kim Junsu!! Answer me!!” When he saw me keeping quiet, he turned away. Jaejoong, who wouldn't let anyone ignore him, came straight up and grabbed my arm and shook it until we both threw up. His long nails dug into my arms without any effort.

“I'm hurt, Jaejoong!!”

“It hurts?...I feel hurt...it hurts so much..it hurts knowing that the lover I devoted my heart to for more than seven years has betrayed me. Now Yoochun hyung sees me as an air element. I saw that it was toxic smoke that he couldn't stay in the room with. Are you still not satisfied?!! But it hurts more than that, Junsu...you know that right?...because That person is a boss!!

The person who took Yoochun hyung away from me is the person I love and trust the most!! How can you pretend to be honest while listening to the class vent about Yoochun hyung? Huh!! Junsu, how did you do it?!!” Jaejoong raised his voice and asked impatiently. Tears flowed down her cheeks in a long way. I sobbed until I was shaking, making me feel sorry for him who had to be in this situation because I was the cause. I felt so bad that I let out a loud yelp.

“Heck Jaejoong, I'm sorry..sorry,” was all I could say to him. It really can't think of anything. Besides wanting him to forgive

"cry? Why are you crying? Do you feel guilty? Do you act like you do dramas every time?” The more you saw me, the more I sobbed as well. Jaejoong dug his nails into my arm even harder. His face looked hurt, disappointed, and completely devoid of trust in me.

“Jaejoong, I really haven't been in contact with Yoochun hyung anymore. Please believe me. He called just now..” He didn't let me explain. Jaejoong suddenly interrupted without any face.

"Oh..are you saying that my boyfriend acts stupid, pretends not to know, and pushes her to bully you? Heh, that's a good thing to say."

I shake my head nervously. I didn't want him to understand that I was trying to make a defense or anything. I just want him to know that I didn't intend to hurt Jaejoong at all...I never even thought about it...

“Yuchun hyung who was more honest with me than anyone else. He changed because of you. But I'll tell you something...I won't spit out the breast meat from my mouth. If you're still going to fight for the same piece of meat as me, Just keep pushing it until someone runs out of energy first. Otherwise, they will bite each other to death.”

“Jaejoong, no!!” Why did he say this? I never wanted us to be enemies. Why did he have to act against me? Why does he talk like all our years of friendship are worthless?

“It doesn't end with today, Junsu. But I'll give you time to prepare yourself. For Yuhwan's sake, he loves you so much. I will use the word friend between us today is the last day. Give you a chance to think.”

“Jaejoong, please, I love you.” I tried to beg him not to cut short our friendship. I couldn't stand it.

“Huh, I want to warn you, Junsu. If you still insist on wanting other people's things. Your life will be torn to pieces.” Jaejoong squeezed my arm to make sure I could hear every word he said clearly. Before releasing his hand, he turned and walked away.

“Jaejoong!! Huh, Jaejoong..." I watched the thin back of my face disappear from view without even having the strength to run after and hold my dear friend. I collapsed onto the cold floor of the room. His heart squeezed so tightly that it hurt, as if someone was pressing it down so it couldn't pump blood like usual. It was stuffed in my chest to the point of being completely uncomfortable. Suffering but unable to do anything

The sorrow poured out without stopping. It's so much I let the tears bring out the pain for myself to know...I will never receive love from Kim Jaejoong again....

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

“Junsu!! Junsu!!” The first voice after I was labeled a traitorous friend. Why does it have to be the voice of someone I really don't want to hear?

The person who was the cause of all this still had a face appear in this room. Why would he have to destroy the peace that I had worked so hard to create since yesterday evening?

Elder Yoochun ran with an alert expression and opened the door to enter a room without light. I guessed it from the shadows. That he was probably walking around the room trying to figure out where I was. I don't know how he got here? Or why did you come? But now I don't want to see him.

...The person who caused my friendship with Jaejoong to fall apart....

The smelly sigh of boredom probably made Yoochun hyung guess my location. The shadow moved and stopped in front of him. But before he could touch any part of me My tolerance was so exhausted that I couldn't bear to breathe the air in the same room with him any longer.

“Get out, get out!! Please stop ruining my life. Stop trampling on my feelings. I'm not your toy!!” I screamed and chased him away from here. I squirmed violently when he tried to hold me in his embrace. I punched him, unable to look as if I didn't want him to come closer. But Yoochun hyung still broke through the cordon and grabbed me firmly.

“You never saw us as toys, Junsu!!” His firm voice made me stop protesting for a moment. But thinking that this person was using words to convince me to become a victim every time made me not want to give in.

“Then why are you doing this to me?!! Why are you torturing me?!!” I still refused to stay silent easily. I twisted my body out of his grip every once in a while. But the other party seemed to hold onto it so tightly that it was helpless.

“Listen to me!! Do you think it doesn't hurt you to see me like this?!!” Yoochun hyung scolded me as if he wanted to teach a lesson to a naughty kid who always goes on a hysterical rampage and doesn't listen to anyone.

His words made me stop resisting. Tears that had dried up since yesterday came back up just hearing that he understood how sad I was because of the decision I had made. Both at the beginning with high spirits, not caring about anyone, putting your own needs first. Or even the final episode where you decide to end everything for something you think is more important. But in the end...I had nothing left..

I'm crying...at my shallow thoughts. of yourself that causes others pain

I'm sad...that I still feel good about this little gentleness from this person. The embrace that I have been yearning for with every breath since we met. The love that I wish to own even though it must come at the expense of many others' pain. I hate myself so much that my heart softens just because he holds me like this.

And I hate myself even more when my old habits It ordered me to say words that hurt my own heart.

“I slept with Yoohwan. I let him go. Our stories have nothing to do with each other. I chose him.”

The comforting hand on my back stopped. Before Yoochun unnie loosened his arms to look at me. His dark eyes flickered, as if pleading that what I said was just a joke. But I chose to keep a straight face. Refusing to show the trembling inside for him to see. When choosing to cut I will do it.

“You lied. You never…” His words were so confident that they made me smile. I know he doesn't like my defiance. But the more I don't like it. The more I wanted to provoke him into anger. I was hurt and wanted him to be hurt too. I've gone too deep to pull myself back.

“Why not?!! You're only with me when we have sex. What will you come to know? What did you know?!!”

The gestures, the words, whatever it was that made Yoochun hyung feel like I was looking down on him. I show it all I still force myself to run my hand over the rose stem even though the thorns are pricking until it's dripping...the satisfaction that comes in exchange for excruciating pain.

...We humans are stupid like this...

“Don't say that, Junsu, you're making me angry.” Yoochun hyung gently pushed me, who was sitting on my knees. Lie face up on the sofa. Eyes flashing with anger mixed with pain, they stared at the person who was speaking incoherently. before turning to his side to suppress his emotions I know Yoochun hyung doesn't want to fight. He probably intended to cool down as much as possible to talk things out. But so what? Do you think I'll stop? There's no way!!

“So what are you going to do?!! Can you resist me because you're angry? Take it!! Go ahead!! I will know that it really is just that between us.” I still stubbornly continued to challenge him fiercely.

Yoochun hyung turned his face back and stared at me as if he was going to eat my flesh and blood. But for a moment, his eyes softened until my heart fluttered. Yoochun hyung moved towards me, who was placing his arms behind him to support himself in his seat. The distance between us keeps shrinking. Until I had to close my eyes tightly I thought he would hurt me like he had dared. But the warm breath that accompanied the words in his ear shook Kim Junsu's entire world in a way he never dreamed he would one day hear.

“I love you, did you hear that I love you, Junsu?” softly but firmly. Is this the answer he wanted to tell me? Did Yoochun hyung really mean to answer me like this? I didn't misunderstand myself, right?

But when I think of bad things What he's always done to me This made me quickly create a shield to reflect his deception.

“I don't want to listen!!” The more he came to tell me now I really don't want to listen. Did he think that something would change?

Yoochun hyung saw that I was about to refuse. So he confirmed his words with a warm touch on his lips, this touch, this place. that he was the only one who possessed

I put pressure on the person's shoulder and touched him, but Yoochun hyung ignored his slight resistance. Yoochun hyung kept his weight down to let him know that he would not accept rejection. When he touched my face, I lifted it up to wait for a deeper touch. He gently tugged at the petals to ask for permission.

I tried to turn away from the touch because I didn't want to be forced into it like usual. But when his arms held my waist close, I opened my lips to answer easily.

Yoochun hyung conveyed love, sorrow, disappointment, and various worries through his sweet and gentle touch for me to know. He kissed and caressed my lips like a person who was so intoxicated that he forgot everything around him. After a moment, he removed his lips. Press kisses along the slender face. before ending with forceful bites on the thin skin in the crook of his neck

“Junsu...hyung...” His voice was hoarse and low, like someone who was delirious and wanted to vent some of his feelings, causing me to strain my ears and intend to listen, but....

“Junsu, why do you have to write a letter to make an appointment with me? You can get a message here. Or do you want to try out the class…” The new person's voice trailed off as soon as Yoochun hyung and I turned towards him.

“Yuhwan!!”

The image of my lover holding a piece of paper in his hand and smiling as he looked at the live movie set in front of him made me quickly pull away from Yoochun hyung like I was touching something hot. But it wasn't too late... His cheerful smiling face suddenly became tense as papers and bags were dropped to the ground beside him.

“Jaejoong...Mr....” Yoochun's voice drew my eyes to another guest walking in behind Yoohwan. and was looking at the picture in front of him with a winning smile.

“I just use the same method. Looks like it worked out fine, right?” Jaejoong folded his arms over his chest and stood with his legs crossed, leaning against the door edge comfortably, even though the tense atmosphere was spreading over us.

I looked at the pained and disappointed expression of my lover. Yoohwan was about to cry. he is sad I don't want him to shed tears over my mistakes. Every time he sheds tears it's because I have something sad and he's crying too. But this time...he was seeing it with his own eyes. It's very heavy.

I don't want to guess how...Yuhwan is feeling....

“Yuhwan, listen to me first. I..” I got up from the sofa and walked quickly towards him. I wanted to tell him that I didn't mean to.

Phew!!! The sound of the clatter and the numb feeling on my cheek made me dizzy. Without me knowing, the image of Yuhwan's face suddenly changed to that of his own desk.

“Junsu!!” Yoochun hyung's shocked cry made me turn my head back to look at my lover, unable to understand what had just happened. The arm that just moved back from the other side it had just flicked caused me to raise my hand to cup my cheek. A feeling of pain shot up into my brain as soon as my finger touched it.

....Did I get slapped in the face by Yuhwan?....

I couldn't believe the look on Yuhwan's neutral expression that didn't show any joy or pleasure. The slender-eyed unit that was looking at me had a cold look that I had never seen before. A single tear slipped down my cheek from pain or shock, I don't know. But the warmth of it flowing through the cheeks that were starting to swell only increased the ache in my heart.

My lover...did he just hurt me...like that? Yoohwan who never even let me feel sick. He never neglected my physical and mental health. Yuhwan never even allowed insects or anything to irritate my skin. He never even allowed my food to be too hot or too cold. That Yuhwan...he just slapped me in the face?....

The person who just lowered his hand to his side didn't answer any questions. that popped up in my mind even a little bit Yuhwan lowered himself down and picked up his bag before turning and walking out of the room without looking at me or saying a word.

It was the first time I had been turned away by Yoohwan since we'd known each other. There was never a time that Yoohwan would let me face a difficult situation alone. There was never a time when he wasn't there when I needed him. There was never a time that I turned around and didn't see him. My back has moved further away, making me unable to stand.

I want to call out to him to come back, but my throat doesn't have the voice to protest. Do I still dare to ask for anything from him?

The touch on my shoulder gave me goosebumps. before shaking himself as if disgusted by it This time, I don't want to be touched by Yoochun hyung from the depths of my heart. My whole body was shaking like a baby bird. My subconscious told me to reject everything from him as soon as Yuhwan's sight disappeared. I was so scared that I felt like vomiting just because he came close.

“You go out!! Don't touch me. Yoohwan!!...Huh....Huh..." I moaned. In my heart I begged for people who would never hear. I don't care what my condition is. It may seem worthless, miserable, or pathetic. I only know that I have nothing left....really...

“Jaejoong, we need to talk,” a deep voice floated from far away. Even though it wasn't spoken to me, it was enough to make me squirm away until I was stuck on the other side of the sofa.

The sound of approaching footsteps made me instinctively flee. I was startled when a cold, sweet voice sounded in my ear, reinforcing the truth that had just happened...a cruel event that had seriously hurt me to the point of death....

“I said I warned you last time. This is the punishment you deserve...friend...”

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

What do I still have left...?

I don't mean houses, land, cars, or other foreign assets that you can buy if you have a lot of money to spare. But I'm sitting here counting the returns I've received after deciding to invest in a business that no one is willing to take a risk on. Even though there is no stability or destination in sight You cannot know which day your investment will be taken away.

Or even profits may not be there to appreciate. Even so...everyone is still willing to give their all in the end. I just want it to come back equal to the value I invested in it. no more than no matter Just don't suffer a crushing loss..because of what you're doing right now. No one is prepared to accept disappointment. Everyone was confident that they would be the winners.

No one is willing to accept something beyond expectations. Therefore, there is no such thing as falling on the mattress. They were only thrown from a high place onto the hard ground until they were broken both physically and mentally. How terrifying and pitiful this thing called...love...

...if you want to love You have to prepare to regret it....

“President Jun, that's fresh milk, not condensed milk!!!” A shrill light shot through the air, causing the hand that was holding a large milk carton to freeze above the mixer that was churning like crazy. But still... his voice still couldn't penetrate the thoughts of the bright-faced chef whose heart was distraught.

Junsu processed the warning and moved his eyes to his hand until he saw a white liquid that was dripping. Put it in a big mixing bowl and it's not really as sticky as it should be. But because I didn't want to admit that I was adding the wrong ingredients even though I'm usually strict about every step, I kept finding reasons to justify it.

“Ah...well, I'm going to try a new recipe. Don't you guys like to tell me that eating chocolate makes you fat? It's better to use plain milk instead. Hey, hey, ah!!" Junsu turned his gaze to meet fierce eyes. who is blaming the little man for causing damage to the delicious chocolate that must be put out for sale today

“That's enough, Junsu, go rest. I'll take care of it this way,” the shop's accounting senior said with a sigh.

It wasn't that the store employees didn't know the cute boss's unusual behavior. Lately, the face that was once bright has become so dull that it has made the atmosphere in the shop depressed as well. Especially after the day when the Park brothers and Mr. Jaejoong came to the shop. Chairman Jun of the underlings was even more absent-minded and sighed into the snacks until he accidentally burned some. Some flavors are crazy.

From never having had to taste it before selling it to customers. Instead, we had to sit and inspect every tray. Even so, the person doing the work has no sign of admitting how bad the condition is.

“But Jiho hyung...that's fine.” Junsu started to protest. But when faced with the deadly sight, he had to swallow his stubbornness.

The small figure walked absentmindedly into his own office. Hoping to come in and use the silence to recuperate and heal the symptoms of mental disarray to the point where the mind is not connected to one's body. But when my eyes hit the furniture and the dark walls of the room, Pictures of various events Everything that had happened in this room suddenly flashed back into my head as if to reinforce my memory so that I wouldn't forget what I had done and how much of an impact it had on everyone.

The image of Yoohwan walking into this room. When he opened new shops Shining clearly in front

“Hey Junsu...are you free today? Let's go eat dinner at my house." When the small figure nodded, he answered and started packing up his things. He walked over to help. before taking the bag that was too big for him to carry When the two of them were about to walk away Yuhwan stopped and walked back again.

“What are you looking for, Yuhwan?” Junsu looked after him and saw a tall figure bending over on the sofa.

“It was really windy outside. You're wearing another layer of clothing. You'll get sick soon.” The small figure smiled and received the warmth that fell onto his shoulder, along with the concern Yuhwan had always had for him since we'd known each other.

“Yes, I...I like you, Junsu. Can you help me make dessert for me alone? No, Mr. Yangta has to open a shop here. What should I say..uh..” His nervous expression to the point where he couldn't put his hands on the stick was cute in Junsu's eyes. Yoohwan was telling him he loved him and wanted to date him.

It made my heart race quite a bit and I felt a warm sensation on my cheeks.

“Did you come home safely last night? Yoochun hyung hasn't come home to me yet, so I don't know if he sent you home yet. I called and the phone was turned off. I'm worried, do you know Junsu?" Yuhwan walked in to ask after yesterday he left his lover to his older brother to take him home. Junsu's irritated voice made him unable to express his expression.

As usual, he would smile and accept it willingly. But today there was only a weak smile and a lump of discomfort stuck in his throat. It's difficult to swallow, it's difficult to spit.. Something that shouldn't have happened between him and his lover's brother last night. It's coming back to create gloom in a relationship that never had anything to disturb.

....Just once...it causes it to happen again and again...every place. Whenever I have time Not even mother...in this room.

“What if it's like this? Do bakers think of being responsible towards consumers?” Yoochun hyung's evil smile aroused excitement in his body, causing his blood to pump violently. Some emotions bubbled up and pushed the idea that he had a lover completely away.

"It depends on how he can prove that it's because of my snacks." Those seductive words that ended in a hot love chapter. Overflowing with happiness...but instead..empty...

"kiss!!"

“What are you playing at?!!”

"Oh, I'm sorry...well...I called and you didn't pay attention."

“You know I don't like it!!”

He refused the gentle touch of his lover. But responding to someone else's deeper touch...how bad is it? Kim Junsu...

“What's wrong, Jaejoong?”

“Oh, Yoochun hyung...he...has someone else.”

...The cries and wailing of a dear friend resounded...Kim Junsu There will probably never be a day that you can escape from the word...traitor....

“You go back!!”

“I won't allow you to chase me away like this. Haven't you suffered enough in the past? Will you still..”

“Yuchun hyung, learn to listen to what other people say!! I told you to come back because I don't want to see your face again from now on...for the rest of my life!! The reason I stopped answering your phone calls is because I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore....Let's understand something simple. Get out of my life...Park Yoochun!!”

...Because I didn't want to be the wrong person, I quickly pushed it away. Hoping that things will end without any damage...then I realized that..thinking things is too easy...love is never a secret...

“How long have you been doing this? You and Yoochun hyung....have been secretly eating each other behind my back for how long?!!”

“Why don't you quit? At first, you didn't know what I was talking about. But now that I know....why are you still in contact? Why did you make Yoochun unnie..”

“I'm hurt, Jaejoong!!”

“It hurts?...I feel hurt...it hurts so much..it hurts knowing that the lover I devoted my heart to for more than seven years has betrayed me. Now Yoochun hyung sees me as an air element. I saw that it was toxic smoke that he couldn't stay in the room with. Are you still not satisfied?!! But it hurts more than that, Junsu...you know that right?...because That person is a boss!!

The person who took Yoochun hyung away from me is the person I love and trust the most!! How can you pretend to be honest while listening to the class vent about Yoochun hyung? Huh!! Junsu, how did you do it?!!”

“I'm sorry...Jaejoong...I'm sorry...I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” Your body trembled with the force of the sobs you tried to hold back with all your might. He doesn't want to cry. Junsu has no right to cry. Everything that had happened couldn't make up for it no matter how many tears he shed. Even if I feel guilty, I want my dear friend to forgive me. But even if the request

Junsu still couldn't say it. He was ashamed, he felt guilty, he was too worthless to ask Jaejoong for forgiveness after being rejected by his dearest friend...

“Are you mourning for Yoochun hyung?” The sweet, curt voice of the person in his mind made Junsu quickly look up from his own forearm that he was using to wipe away his tears.

“Jaejoong!!” When I was sure it was really my thin friend. His slender legs carried his weak body and he rushed towards him. Without noticing that His sweet face still had a hint of resentment on it. As the small figure approached within arm's reach,

Phew!!! A slender hand flicked onto his round cheek, causing his face to turn.

“Ah!” Junsu cried out in shock. The fort's hand raised to touch. Trying to resist the urge to stagger too much, he slowly turned his head back to look.

“..How about I get it back..” Bright lips smiled slyly. The tone was challenging, as if waiting for the other person to respond. Junsu just hung his head and accepted the punishment. In my heart, everything hurts.

“Jaejoong..sorry...” the small figure said in a soft voice. What Jaejoong did was not too much at all. He didn't ask for the reason why Jaejoong hurt him. When it becomes clear why

Jaejoong looked sad and accepted everything he had done with a calm face. He let out a deep, unemotional sigh. before lifting his chin and smacking it again on the other cheek.

Phew!!

His round face turned violently until the hand that was on the other cheek fell off. This time, the small figure was unable to prepare and lost control and fell to the ground. Junsu used his palms to steady himself on the ground, keeping himself from being hit until the pain spread to his entire arm. Before looking up...how much does Jaejoong resent him?...

“This calls for consciousness.” Jaejoong twitched the corners of his mouth mischievously. The murderous look from the beginning disappeared completely, causing Junsu to look at his friend in bewilderment.

“...What?....” Junsu looked at the figure of his best friend who was squatting down and sitting cross-legged in front of him.

The confusion in his sudden change in expression was evident on his round face, causing Jaejoong to chuckle. He looked away, stifling a laugh before finally easing the knot in Junsu's heart and his own.

“I broke up with Yoochun hyung,” Jaejoong said in a normal tone. His face was sweet and indifferent even though he should have been sad, tears falling from his ears. His friend's indifference caused Kim Junsu to feel so guilty that he had to lower his head and let the tears flow for his friend's pain.

...Jaejoong will definitely bear it and keep it...

When the person in charge saw Junsu's 'my friend is hurt, I'm crying for him' expression, he became annoyed.

...Why do you like to suffer and think about this and that instead of other people?...

“It's not because of you. Don't think of yourself as a heroine just yet.” His voice was irritated and biting, causing people with tears streaming down their faces to look up and stare straight in the eyes because they hadn't thought of it in time.

Jaejoong sighed for the millionth time. I suspect that by the end of the story, he would have developed an irregular breathing disorder because of Junsu.

“Oh,” Jaejoong searched through his wallet and handed him a four-color printed piece of paper from a magazine that was beginning to deteriorate. Junsu took it and looked at it confusedly.

“This is it?” Slender eyes looked at his friend asking for an explanation. But when Jaejoong didn't say anything, he had to bend down and read it himself. A large, full-page picture shows two men hugging each other on a long bench in a public park. The soft light from the lamp post above the chair Enough that the couple's faces could be faintly seen.

But what felt familiar was the glowing white skin competing with the bright lights. Junsu shifted his gaze to the description above to clear up his doubts...

[b]‘

The heir to the Kim Corp group flirts with an unknown young man in the middle of the night'[/

b]

The cerebellum processes the headline and combines it with the images it sees before its eyes widen as it pieces together what it is.

“Or what Yuhwan said that you were tricked....?”

“Huh, you really have a big mouth, that brat.” Jaejoong opened his mouth, looking annoyed. Before starting to recall the events before he knew Junsu..the origin of the chains that bound his feelings...spread to Yoochun's freedom....

“...I met him at a school event in my last year of high school. Floor room opens a fancy coffee shop. As for him, he is a freelance photographer who comes to help with the photography club's work. We know each other because he came to help me when I was being harassed, huh. But even if he didn't help me, he would have already thrown that perverted customer into the pile.” Jaejoong blew air out of his nose as he thought of the person who had punched that perverted pervert. Destroyed his shop...

Some people spoke and Junsu sat and listened calmly. But when I keep telling the story Jaejoong's expression became serious.

“We became close very quickly. At that time, I dreamed of traveling around the world to taste food, so I enjoyed the experience of traveling and taking photos in different places. which he brought to listen to He never knew that I was the heir to the rice cake company because I didn't want to tell him. I want us to love each other like any other normal couple. While our relationship was going well

My father found out about it. Of course you must intervene. But the thing that makes me feel like the world is collapsing is..” His sweet voice trailed off. It was as if he was fighting past pain.

“Jaejoong…” Junsu held his thin hand and gave it a supportive squeeze. He knew that Jaejoong was forcing himself to revive it. Because some friends probably saw that it was important for the gloomy situation between the two of them right now.

"...He called to extort money from my father in exchange for concealing his intention to befriend me."

“!!” Junsu widened his eyes in shock. Even though I knew before But I didn't think it would spread to Jaejoong's family.

“At first, Dad didn't tell me because he was afraid I would regret it, so he paid for it. Actually, Dad knew about us from the beginning. Because I've had people look after me since time immemorial. Dad knows that I love him very much, so I thought of exchanging a little bit of money for your happiness. But after many times, my father began to feel that it was not good, so he forced me to quit.

But because I'm very serious about my first love. So I insisted that I would not give up. In my heart I thought that my father was unreasonable. I never understood it. Even though the person who has always been beside me and taken care of me since my mother died is you. I argued with my father so violently that....his heart disease worsened and he had to be hospitalized.."

The voice that spoke slightly trembled. Some parts are missing because I try to be patient and accept the pain. But when the story comes to the end Jaejoong stopped because he couldn't hold back his tears. A slender hand came up to cover his mouth to hold back a sob. His thin shoulders trembled until Junsu had to pull his best friend's body and hug him tightly.

"...It's okay, Jaejoong..it's okay..."

Jaejoong tried to control himself so that his feelings of regret would not cause him to lose his job. from the symptoms expressed He must have been very shaken by what happened. But when you've made it through this and become stronger, whoever you are must grit your teeth and carry on until the end. Jaejoong breathed in and out, releasing the tension. before speaking, alternating with sobs

“..Ugh...I'm afraid that if you leave, I'll be attacked by that man again. So I agreed to tell the truth. At first I still didn't believe it. But when I look at my father's face as he breathes heavily, So I want to try to prove the truth. Just in time, he called to ask for money from his father again... I was the one answering the phone... Huh... He was speechless when I asked why he called my father... After that

I haven't contacted him any more..."

“..." Junsu was stunned. What Jaejoong told made him understand his best friend's anger and disrespect. When listening to Yoohwan He didn't think that the real story would be this bad. Just being deceived by someone you love and using your trust is bad. But Jaejoong still has to face the guilt of being the one who hurt his own father. How did his friend get through that ordeal?

It's like you know your friend's feelings. Jaejoong answered the question immediately.

“My grades were very bad at that time. Just sit there all day. The fish refuses to eat and can't sleep. I don't want to hurt myself. But it was so shocking that I couldn't think of anything. Just in time when Yoochun hyung graduated and came back. So Dad dragged me out to meet the Park family and wanted to change the atmosphere.”

Jaejoong paused before turning to look at the other person who had a shocked expression on his face. Junsu didn't think that he would suddenly Jaejoong will bring up Yoochun hyung. Even though I had prepared myself that I would definitely have to clash with Jaejoong over this matter. But he still couldn't keep up in time.

“I have been close to Yoochun hyung since childhood. Because our families have known each other for a long time. He is still very good and has never changed. Take good care of the technicians. When my parents asked me to date him, they were kind and didn't refuse. Yoochun hyung does his duty as a lover without fail. He never made me regret it. There's never been anyone else.

Even when I went to study in Japan, he still cared and never failed to ask questions. Later on, I had to go out and inspect the provinces for a long time. He never complained to me. Of course, he didn't love me..." Jaejoong explained the reason why Yoochun had to take the position of his girlfriend. Junsu felt a pang of pain when he heard that the two of them had a strong bond.

And the more it reinforces the truth of how capable he is...the more he hears it tells me that it was him who destroyed it.

"...and me, not..." Jaejoong interrupted because he knew that his little body was starting to enter the mode of thinking on his own and making his own guesses.

“Junsu, do you know? At first I thought Yoochun hyung was the right person. I...think...I love him very much. At that time it was like I was hitchhiking in the desert. When he came across the oasis, he pounced on it. Yoochun hyung's care restores moisture to a heart that was so parched that it almost shattered into dust. I was so caught up in that warmth that I forgot what I really wanted. What is it..."

Jaejoong wiped away tears. before staring out the window His clear eyes trembled as he thought of his own stupidity.

“They say that people live together for a long time. will love each other But it probably won't work in my case. When I found out about Yoochun hyung and you. I didn't go on a rampage against Yoochun hyung. Just asking for the truth But he yelled at me harshly. At that moment, I knew that he had never loved me in the past. He did it because he felt he should.

But because I'm still jealous of my oasis. I still refuse to let him go. It's like when people are stranded on an island..if you don't see there's a boat or something to cling to. No one would be crazy to jump into the water and swim towards the shore that no matter how far you looked, right?” His beautiful face turned to meet the eyes of the person staring at him.

“But you love Yoochun hyung…” Junsu's conclusion made the listeners shake their heads in opposition. His face was brittle with tears and he looked calm when he could understand his own heart. Jaejoong slightly smiled as he looked at Junsu's self-deprecating expression before confirming his true feelings to the other person.

“I don't love Yoochun hyung. But the person I love is you. Do you know?” Jaejoong confirmed firmly. He rubbed the light-colored silk diligently when he saw his slender eyebrows furrowed cutely. “Actually, I just thought of it while sitting quietly all alone. When I found out what you had with Yoochun hyung. I'm really angry.

But in anger there is hidden concern. I'm afraid that Yoochun hyung will trick you. I'm afraid you'll be upset with Yuhwan. I'm afraid you'll regret it. I'm afraid you'll be hurt. My biggest fear is that you'll give up your heart for a friend like me. And you really did it…”

“I should have done that..” Junsu nodded his head up and down gently. He accepted his guilt by psalm. So I decided to break up with Yoochun. But it didn't happen in time...because he was hated by Jaejoong in the end...everything he did was wrong with Jaejoong..even though his friend was this good to him...

Jaejoong grunted. Make a stern face at someone who keeps wallowing in guilt. Before speaking to teach

“I threw a tantrum at you because I was in shock. I scolded you because you were acting like a good person in a terrible way. Especially when Yoochun hyung refused to stop contacting you. I'm even more annoyed. But because I really care about you. I have to end it before it gets any worse. Hmm...even though I didn't do it all. Let's just say..I did it without realizing it."

The meaning of his words didn't faze Junsu. But the look of displeasure in Jaejoong's eyes made him let out a sigh and bury his face in his knees...

“Sorry, I shouldn't have hurt you. It really shouldn't be.” Jaejoong shook his head weakly. Saying this until your mouth dries up doesn't make the little person understand things any better than before, right? I really don't know anything about him, Kim Junsu.

“Man, you really deserve to be punished yourself. There were always people protecting me. The whole class and Yuhwan I'll never grow up like this.” Jaejoong wrapped his arms around the trembling body that was hugging his own legs and crying. A hand caressed a strand of light-colored hair.

...when you still don't understand yourself I would have to help.. Jaejoong held his red face from crying so hard and stared into his eyes...

“Huh, Jaejoong,” Junsu called out in a low voice. Many apologies are conveyed through the eyes instead of the heart.

“You're afraid, right? Scared but still good at it, little one. If you dare to fly out of the nest, come and come with all your might. Worrying and worrying like this won't bring anything. You'll only fall down and hurt yourself." He said as if to encourage his friend. He knew that Junsu wanted to come out of the shield that Yuhwan was protecting from danger from all sides.

and decided to step forward when meeting Yoochun But experiencing the outside world for the first time probably still makes me hesitant to say goodbye to a warm place like Yuhwan. Not brave enough to jump with all his might into Yoochun's embrace.

The little person was unmistakably like him in the past. Junsu is probably afraid...that if he runs out of energy while crossing the canyon..he will fall..afraid he will be hurt...

Jaejoong waited for Junsu to release his pent up feelings through a stream of tears. Conveying guilt, love, friendship, thanks, apologies, and feelings that he wanted to say but didn't dare to completely pass through the touch that connected two bodies to him. Let this moment knit together bonds of friendship that were nearly broken. To return to being tightly bound together...again...

At this time, Junsu felt a lot of love that Jaejoong had for him. Jaejoong is never angry. And I don't think I'll be angry. Concern that they never knew existed, expressed along with not getting what they wanted, caused the two dear friends to get lost in their own sorrow and forget some things.

...There will be many things...just the word [

b] ‘

friend' [/

b]

Can answer every question. Can solve every problem Forgive every mistake...

Junsu began to soften his voice. The force of panting from crying for a long time until exhaustion is still visible. Junsu shifted his red eyes up to look at the sweet face that was smiling faintly at him.

“Huh, Jaejoong, are you no longer angry?” Junsu's tenderness made him interpret it as his best friend probably having forgiven him. But Jaejoong spoke harshly while still smiling.

"not yet"

“Eh…” Junsu's face immediately fell. He started to feel sad, thinking that Jaejoong was still angry.

“I will never get over my anger at the person who took Yoochun hyung away from me. But I've never been angry at my best friend for a long time. Who would you choose to be?” Jaejoong teased. before winking at you

“I don't want it anymore!! Your Yoochun oppa I don't want it anymore!!” Junsu shouted in a sharp tone. He waved his hand as if he didn't want to touch his friend's person again. Even though Junsu knew that his friend was just joking, But I'm still afraid of being angry.

“You can't!! Take it. Consider it a redemption for me.” Jaejoong grabbed the small hand. before pushing back with a serious expression He didn't want Junsu to misunderstand that he still wanted Yoochun hyung with him. When he already has his own identity...

...It turned out that Is Park Yoochun a person that no one wants to deal with?...

“Why do you give up so easily? At that time, you were still…” Junsu was confused by Jaejoong's attitude and words of throwing his lover to a friend. But when I asked, there was a deep voice coming from the doorway.

“Jaejoong, it's time.”

“I know, just a moment,” Jaejoong replied, smiling at the person who nodded in agreement.

“Who is it?” Junsu asked, feeling a familiar face and figure like this from somewhere. His brows furrowed together slightly. Before his eyes glanced at a picture in a magazine that a thin friend had sent to him. Slender eyes stared at the man hugging Jaejoong before remembering that it was the same person. Junsu turned around and looked at his friend's face until his eyes nearly closed.

...Why did Jaejoong allow the person who betrayed himself to stay by his side? What happened???...

Jaejoong understood that Junsu would be quite shocked. So he relieved his frustration with the most beautiful, wide smile.

Junsu immediately understood what was going on. It will probably be resolved. And all the stories may be misunderstandings or whatever. Once they were cleared up and understood, their love would heal again until it was completely healed as before. He didn't think to ask further. Just seeing Jaejoong smile like this made him satisfied.

“Are you happy now?”

“Three times more than a cadet,” Jaejoong boasted, smiling brightly, showing off his beautiful teeth. This made Junsu kiss her mouth in displeasure.

"How do you know?" Heh...he's happier than his friends look...

When the matter between them has been completely cleared up with peace of mind on both sides. Jaejoong finished his duties and achieved his own objectives. The two of them tightened their embrace, tightly embracing the warmth of their friendship. When he realized that there was someone waiting, the thin man relaxed his embrace. Pretending to withdraw

“Oh, wait a minute, Jaejoong.”

Some people turned around to wait to hear their friend's words. Junsu, who felt relieved as if a mountain had just been lifted from his chest, asked to reiterate what he had been worried about all along to ask for reassurance.

"We're...still friends, right?"

“...I've never dated you in any other capacity. And I don't think I want to try it.” Jaejoong smiled so sweetly that Junsu had to smile as well. But as soon as he stepped out he was about to pass the door. He turned around and left his little friend with something to ponder.

"Sir, don't accept being hit for free."

“What do you mean, Jaejoong? Hey!!” Junsu made a face and asked behind the closed door.

As for the person on the other side of the door, he couldn't help but smile fondly as he thought of the mastermind who had made his eyes open in many ways.

...Anyway, let's drop a bomb on this smart father...damn it. Thinking about it makes me really annoyed with that pillow....

“How do you know that I don't love Yoochun?”

“I didn't say that, I just said 'if' you really loved my brother, I wouldn't have kept that gossip column. I'm going to claim that I keep it as a reminder, and it sounds good. But I think you have to rely on it to force yourself to love. A 'good girlfriend' gives more than someone who mercilessly betrays you.”

“Heh!! If you're really angry at Junsu Why do you have to complain that I slapped him? Are you angry because I broke up with Yoochun hyung or angry that I let go of Junsu?”

“When do you plan to do this, Yuhwan? Why do you still act like a good person like this? Why did you have to help those two people like this?” Jaejoong asked weakly after hearing that Yohwan would use his understanding with Junsu to make the little one worry less first. Then slowly unravel other knots.

He couldn't understand why Yuhwan had to make things difficult. What's the point of torturing yourself?

“I didn't help anyone. I do it for myself.”

“Although Yoochun was a bit stupid for not being able to see that he was being manipulated by his younger sibling all along. I also understand that siblings are always intersecting. But with Junsu, you really love him, don't you?” After clearing things up between them, Jaejoong couldn't help but want to bully his ex-girlfriend with words that were just as stinging as he coughed or sneezed.

But he turned back to playing a serious role when he still didn't have an answer as to whether Yohwan was planning to hold on to his lover or was planning to give in to his older brother. because of the past Yoohwan acted like he was contrasting with Junsu. But this forced him to come clean with his little friend... Luckily, he had already thought of it at that time. Otherwise, I'm sure I'll have the chance to go on a rampage and snap the head off of the kid the day before yesterday who dared to order him...

“I never stopped loving Yoochun hyung. I can't stop loving Junsu either." The tall man replied firmly. And it made some people even more dizzy.

“This guy is so difficult to understand.” And without realizing it, I followed his plan. Park, you crafty little sister!!

“Are we going yet? Our honeymoon.” A nudge on his upper arm drew Jaejoong, who was thinking about what Yohwan had caused the story to begin with. The sweet face lifted up to meet the loving and possessive eyes of the beloved man who had brought gold. before answering with a heart that swelled with happiness

“Uh huh.”

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

...Two hours have passed...

After finding out that Jaejoong, the first participant in the plot, had been ordered by Commander Yohwan, my younger sibling, to go on a final mission to put an end to the chaos between us, my 'ex-girlfriend' left the Park family's house. He's been with his 'new girlfriend' who is his 'ex girlfriend' for a little over two hours now.

I am eagerly waiting to hear from you regarding the results of my work. I stand and hold the curtain tightly. His eyes peered through the gaps in the fabric to admire the scenery outside with a calm expression, even though his heart was raging to the point of exploding. The late morning sunlight, which was starting to become more intense, shone in and hit the face. At first glance,

It's like you're secretly investigating the secrets of the people. But the truth is... I was the one who was secretly noticed by the person rolling around on the bed. Listen to music from your iPod with ease.

“Yuchun hyung, please stop using the curtains in my room to vent your feelings. It will fall off the beam,” Yuhwan said calmly, eyes still fixed on the iPod.

I dropped my hands to my sides. Big sigh Before walking back, he sat down on the same bed.

“Why has Jaejoong been gone for so long? So why do I have to wait? I want to go see Junsu so badly.”

"I told you..."

“Oh, I know. Let's wait for Jaejoong and you to clear things up first. Otherwise Junsu won't listen to anything from me, right? For the sake of being a matchmaker, hey!!”

That's right..I myself was shocked after my younger brother revealed that he intended to pair me with Junsu from the beginning. Normally, no one would understand what Yuhwan was thinking. But when it came to this, I had to think about whether I was neglecting my younger brother too much. Even though he used me as a trick to lure Junsu, I still don't know.

Crack~!!! The sound of a communication device suddenly being placed near my butt. It's shaking. He lifted his buttocks and barely managed to escape. Damn it...I don't want to manage my butt to be as attractive as Junsu's...sigh. Having said that, I miss you so much~!

"What's up, Ajay?"

Yuhwan's greeting made me turn around. Keep your eyes focused on your phone as if you're trying to telepathically listen in on the conversation. The little brother looked over and laughed soundlessly at my nervous expression. before turning back to talking, ignoring his older brother's withered expression.

“Um, relax now...okay. Have fun traveling...alright. I'll have Yoochun hyung call and tell you.” While I was annoyed that he wouldn't turn on the speakerphone. My name suddenly came out of the mouth of the younger brother who had promised him. ..And do I have to follow this?

“Jaejoong hyung has come out of Junsu's shop,” Yuhwan continued reporting the news when he saw my face so serious that my hair almost fell out.

As soon as I heard that, I grabbed my cell phone. Hurriedly rushed out of the room. He meant to drive the car to Junsu's shop in five minutes. But when I searched for the car keys that had been in my pants pocket, I had to walk back up again. I looked around the room for the key and found it waving. On Yuhwan's slender finger

“You don't have to go, I'm right here,” he ordered quietly before gathering the keys into his fist and dropping them into his pocket. Yoohwan's behavior made me even more irritated until I went crazy.

“Wouldn't you like me to go look at him? Don't let him see. So let's talk about what you're going to do next." I appealed in a sad tone. What if Jaejoong complains to Junsu again? He is very sensitive about his friends. I don't know if I'm crying or not right now? How can I stay silent here?

Yuhwan didn't seem to care at all about my squirming. His eyes fell on the iPod in his hand before he muttered loudly enough to be heard.

“Wait...it won't be long.”

wait? Are you waiting? What else will he make me wait for? Since the day Junsu was attacked Until I adjusted my understanding with Jaejoong He listened to Yuhwan tell him about his plan and agreed to follow his plan. I just had to wait and wait until I couldn't meet Junsu. I left him alone in his grief, unable to do anything to console him. Didn't Yuhwan know that it was awkward? I suffered until I was insane.

He probably thought it wouldn't last long because he had a plan in mind and knew how events would unfold, but I don't even know if I could make Junsu come back to me? Will I be able to make a little person smile at me? And how can you not be troubled when you are in Junsu's eyes? I'm so bad that I stole my younger brother's girlfriend. Cheating on your girlfriend

I made him hate Jaejoong and Yohwan. Plus he's still stubborn and won't quit. But with my younger sibling, I'm the person Junsu has to reconcile with. Because Yoohwan is the boyfriend that Junsu made a mistake by cheating on me. No matter what, the little person must accept it.

...When I think about it here I suddenly remembered...Yohwan once told me that he secretly loved this close friend from time immemorial....

“Yuhwan...if you help me and Junsu as planned...then...are you okay?..” Of course, having Junsu by his side. It's what I desire But if my younger sibling has to be uncomfortable with the three of us I'd rather stop my love from just peeping.

Asked if you cared for Yoohwan this much then why did you even think about building a relationship with Junsu at that time...I didn't think about it. That was then...but now it's different. Since everyone knows what is going on, then to continue with a confused expression would probably be someone who likes to pretend and pretend. I like to laugh at other people's regrets.

Yuhwan deafened even though he had taken off his headphones a long time ago. I know he heard After a moment, he turned around and looked annoyed at me.

“Do you want Junsu or not?”

"I want" I asked and answered as I thought. Why do you have to turn your face?

“Then why are you thinking so much?”

“Dammit Yuhwan!! The person I think will be sad is my younger sibling like you. Did you see that your older brother has such a vicious personality?”

Well...people give bad and evil all the time and they get stressed out and die. Even when Yuhwan mentioned Junsu, I was so suspicious that I didn't do anything. If you were to cut off the older brother or the younger brother because of the person you both love? I would probably be unhappy for the rest of my life.

“I think it will be good for all parties to do it. I don't want to be a hero like anyone around here. If I don't see that I'm getting anything worthwhile, then why do I put in so much effort?”

Please allow me to bite and nibble on my brother's leg. I don't know when my younger brother became a innocent criminal?

“So what did you get?”

"Fun and peace of mind" that when people don't want to be a hero, they continue to be interested in the Three Kingdoms book in their hand. I've probably read it at least three times now...you have to be careful.

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

Half an hour passed...Park Yoochun returned to his original position. His hand held the curtain as an anchor again until his younger brother said that if he had a mouth, he would curse Peng until he was ashamed of the entire family. Punishment for caressing with intent When he finished, he opened it and went to the bathroom. Leaving me standing alone playing a music video

I stared out the window as my role should have done. My mind drifts away with the lazy wind. Thinking of that person... How many districts will you cry and cry with tears?... Junsu

His sad eyes focused on the large tree in the garden opposite the house. The bright sunlight near noon shines directly down, casting narrow shadows. Under the branches that spread shade At the base of the tree was a long wooden chair, leaning towards the back. It's for people to come jog or take a walk and sit and rest. And now there are people using it...

A man was resting his arms on a backrest, using a pillow to support his face on top of it. Because that chair was facing the other direction. So I couldn't see the torso. But the face that turned and stared at my house made me so curious that I had to look.

“Junsu...that's Junsu!!” I shouted to myself. Even though it's not clearly seen, this kind of facial structure that has been so close that we've heard each other's breathing, I don't know how many times or how many times I have or will not remember.

I hurriedly left the garden room as Yuhwan walked back in.

"wait a minute!! Yoochun hyung!!” My younger sibling's voice cried out because of the requirements that had previously been stated. But this time, whether Indra, Brahma Or the Erawan elephant couldn't hold me back. Junsu just appeared in front of me. The voice in my heart was telling me to fly out the window and find him. For me to stand still and do nothing to make the plan successful is not in my head at all.

I opened the front door. Walking towards Junsu, he didn't care about anything except the figure sitting cutely on the chair under the tree. Junsu who was absent-mindedly looked at the upstairs window. When he heard someone walking closer, he looked away.

“Junsu!” I called happily. But as soon as his eyes saw me, he immediately stood up, took a step back, and then stood still, his previously bright lips slightly open. With a shocked monastery stretched closed in a straight line. Sweet eyes stared at me as if I was facing the most terrifying and disgusting thing. gentle smile The mischievous look in his eyes as he looked at me...everything...that had been in Park Yoochun's every thought shattered with a resounding sound.

Every sound, every touch was extinguished for just a fraction of a second when I realized that... I might really have lost Junsu.

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

“Sigh! Bring it in, I already told you,” I muttered to myself after noticing the situation at the door of the house. Because of this, I don't want Yoochun hyung to go out and meet Junsu.

I had already predicted that after I let the little guy finish understanding with Jaejoong. Junsu must have come straight to me. Because the problem in his heart remains only about me. Once we clear things up, Junsu will understand everything. And probably calm enough to meet or listen to anything from my brother. But here, Yoochun hyung swooped out to make things together while Junsu's emotional storm was still raging like this.

And why have you been careful not to meet each other all this time because you were afraid Junsu would hook a punch at Yoochun hyung until he was knocked out like this?

...I told you not to leave yet but I don't believe you. Sigh!! Park, you really have a headache...

I saw a bad posture and rushed in to fix the risky situation. Because if you leave it Junsu runs away home. Then everything will go wrong. I followed behind, not in a hurry. When he reached the older brother, he placed his hand on the shoulder of the man who was about to fall down. before whispering to regain consciousness

“It's me.” Yoochun hyung nodded lightly. Even though pretending to cry So I walked forward, still, towards Junsu, who had been staring at me since I walked out, refusing to take his eyes off. As I stepped forward and stood in front of Junsu, he hugged me with a huge storm of tears.

“Yuhwan...huh, Yuhwan!! Huh?” I looked at the face that was buried in my chest and was crying as if I would die. Small shoulders trembled uncontrollably. I looked at that picture..I felt no less pain in my heart than the first time I was the one who created a tear trail for him while at the store. No matter how many times..if it's the tears of the person we love It cuts deep and creates painful scars that never change.

Because of the obvious area in front of the house during broad daylight It is not suitable for negotiating personal matters where emotional clashes may occur. So I pushed the little body away. Then she put her arm around his shoulder and led him into the house. While walking past Yoochun's face Junsu pressed himself close to me and ducked to avoid Yoochun's reproachful eyes.

When I got to the room, I released my arm from his shoulder. Then he walked over and sat down on the bed.

“Sit,” the little man complied easily. Junsu dropped down next to me without saying a word. But when he saw me he kept quiet. He couldn't stand the discomfort and blurted out.

"Are you angry? Do you really hate me?" he said, sobbing. Tighten the hand on your knee.

“I'm sorry.” These were probably the words he wanted to say to me the most. Because Junsu said it over and over. Until the room was filled with guilt and regret.

In the gap where the door was ajar, a pair of eyes were watching what was happening through the door that Yuhwan had intentionally left open. The little man's cries and moans made Yoochun's heart flutter, knowing how much Junsu cared for Yuhwan...

...He could feel Junsu's love for his younger brother. He knew the connection between the two. But what I don't know...does Junsu love him at all?...

Yoochun turned over and put his back against the wall. before closing his eyes to comfort his heart that was pounding weakly

“Shit!! Ugh!!” Junsu's voice made his sharp eyes turn to look through the door again. The picture that I saw ripped out a lump in my left breast that almost stopped my heart beating...

Yuhwan pulled Junsu's arm towards him and pressed his lips against his. His other hand squeezed his chin, unable to retreat from the harsh touch. Junsu pursed his lips in shock because he had never been attacked by Yoohwan with a touch like this before.

Yoochun stood stunned to see his younger brother kissing his lover. It wasn't that he had never seen Yoohwan and Junsu express their love for each other. But he had never seen Yuhwan like this when he was with Junsu. A young man who was fierce, willful, and wanted to get what he wanted without listening to protests. As anger is about to take over Slender night-blue eyes flickered towards his older brother, still stealing the air from his small body.

Yoochun's eyes showed sincerity. He immediately understood that he shouldn't do anything rashly because of his emotions. Yuhwan probably had reasons for doing that. And he should believe in his brother. The elder Park could only grit his teeth and suppress his anger to wait for the next scene of the drama.

Soon, Yuhwan withdrew his lips. Slender, pitch black eyes stared at the clear eyes that were trembling with fear. Junsu noticed the pain evident in his pair of eyes. Yuhwan tightened his embrace, pulling the little man close to him. Junsu thought about yelling when a deep voice interrupted him.

“Can't you claim your rights?”

The fortress' hand that was about to punch the strong chest suddenly stopped. The small arm was thrown down by gravity at his side. The eyes left only emptiness. Junsu stopped resisting and allowed the other person to place a seal on his soft lips, taking in the sweetness as he wished.

“Huh, um, uh, huh,” as soon as the warm touch touched me again. Junsu suddenly clenched his hand tightly. He was determined not to push away. Quickly close your eyes and ignore it so you don't feel like resisting. Repeatedly in my mind It's time..to repay what a lover should do. If Yoohwan wants Shouldn't he just accept it?

Since Yuhwan was his lover This was still too little for everything the other party had always done for him.

Yuhwan saw that the little man didn't resist and leaned over to support his lover's body so that it was lying flat on the bed. The cold kiss that one person was leading and the other person not pushing away or following along continued amidst the silence of the people on the bed. and the person standing long-suffering at the door

As soon as Yuhwan retreated from the sweetness of the light-colored candy, Junsu was panting heavily. It's not because of being deprived of air. But because he forced himself to hold back the feelings of rejection that were ready to show until he forgot to breathe. Yuhwan trailed kisses along his cute face. The warm breath that blew through Junsu's body gave him goosebumps, causing his small hands to grip the bedsheet tightly to prevent him from using it to push the other person away from his body.

...Be patient...it'll be okay...you can do it, Kim Junsu...

The little man was close to overcoming the feelings in his heart for his lover in just a few moments. Until soft lips began to caress and caress from the earlobe down the white neck. Leave a mark of love on the smooth skin that runs across it. Suddenly, the face of another person who had given the same touch overlapped. The wall of consent that had been painstakingly built was toppled by the waves. The feeling of opposition in his heart made Junsu unable to endure the touch any longer.

“Ha, don't...don't erase Yoochun hyung's touch!!” Junsu pushed the other man's shoulder away with force as he decided to accept this punishment.

...What did he just say? Had he rejected Yoohwan again? Why did you do this, Kim Junsu? How could you do that..

Yoohwan wasn't shocked that Junsu avoided his touch. He was even surprised that his small body was able to hold on for so long. But it must have been someone else who came up and expressed his opposition. Yuhwan reluctantly stepped back, leaving enough distance to look at the face of the man who was breathing heavily. Junsu opened his eyes and stared back.

..He can't...sorry Yoohwan...he really can't force it any more...

Junsu's mind was racing. He is fighting with himself. No matter which path I choose, my little body will feel guilty. No matter what decision you make, you will feel torture.. which Yuhwan understands well... The tall man turned over and lay down next to you. Before his strong arms pulled the confused person into an embrace.

Junsu buried his face in his warm embrace. Before letting the tears flow lazily, his heart slowly accepted the truth that he...

...feeling guilty towards Yoohwan But I miss Yoochun...

He never forgot the touch he once received from a tall figure. Unlike the memory of the lover, it's so faint. Even though we spent more time together. But he probably pretended not to know...that no matter when The person he chose to remember... was only Yoochun...

Enough to reclaim rights until you're satisfied. Yuhwan reduced his heavy touch to just a caressing kiss on the thin petals. The heat that turned into softness made Junsu confused as another person's image overlapped. He was thinking of the touch of... the eloquent face when he asked for the word love. It made the consent that had been patiently expressed begin to falter. In the head, the fighting forces were concentrated heavily.

“Uncomfortable, right Junsu? Is it uncomfortable that you can't be yourself? Isn't it uncomfortable that I made you have to endure this?” A caring voice whispered in my ear and a light touch that slowly rubbed. along the back Hoping to be comforting is like breaking the surface of the ice that has formed to obscure our true feelings.

“Oh.. H.. Huhuhuhuhuhuhu~!!” Junsu burst out crying loudly throughout the wide room. His wet face was buried into the crook of another person's shoulder, causing tears to overflow that he couldn't hold back.

...Enough...enough...all this pent up suffering...let it out...

“I feel uncomfortable. It pains me to have to keep you inside a wall that I think is safe for you, even though I know you don't like it. I forgot to think that if one day you don't have it, how will you survive?"

Yuhwan whispered in the ear of the crying person. It's like a soothing song to relieve sorrow.

“Sorry, Junsu. Even though I know that you will be in trouble if one day I don't have class. But I'm still selfish and keep you locked up. So that your world has only one level.”

“What does that mean? Where are you going?” Junsu asked, his voice shaking. I don't feel good at all. Yoohwan was really going to leave him, wasn't he?

Yoohwan looked at Junsu's frightened eyes and smiled lightly. before agreeing to tell the reason why he had planned the various events

“I'm going to continue studying.”

“Continue studying?”

“Yes, so...let's sever the ties that bind the two of us. Let's break up.” The words he didn't expect to hear from his lover's mouth made Junsu cry out again.

"No, no, no, hey, Yuhwan, no, hey, hey, don't quit, hey."

“You can't quit. Otherwise, I won't be able to decide to continue my studies. I don't want things to remain between us. For me to endure and watch you love someone else is too cruel.” Yuhwan kept his voice from shaking. Even though I am very sorry to say such words.

“I apologize for betraying you. Don't say things like this. I will not commit the same mistake again. Give me a chance. Stay with me first.” Junsu confirmed that he would not give in. If Yuhwan saw that he was wrong He wanted to make an excuse. Correct what is wrong

"I've promoted him for a year now..if I can't go."

“A year? What does that mean?” Did Yuhwan agree to postpone the time?…What reason did he have?

“To put my important person in order. All planning layers I'm going to ask you to be my girlfriend. I'm gradually moving away from you and looking for someone to take care of you. Trying to get you to show the person you've been hiding. So that you don't have to force yourself to do what I want you to do again. Things in the past made you afraid to face the real world.

I also wanted to keep you safe so I kept you from leaving. But I know that I can't take care of you forever. Because I care about you too much. I want you to be happy.” Yoohwan admitted his own cowardly weakness in not being able to directly look at Junsu's true desires. Because he was afraid that the person this little body wanted wasn't him.

But when I realized that I would have to take away everything that I had forced onto Junsu, I began to realize that I had hurt many people in front of me.

“But, I love you, did you hear that? I love you.” Even though I understood Yoohwan's confession. But Junsu was still afraid that Yoohwan would disappear from him.

People who hear words of love do not feel happy. Yuhwan swallowed the bitterness in his throat with difficulty. He had suffered all these years. To wait for this word But when he received it, he felt that it was not his.

“You said you loved Yoochun hyung. I'm not as hurt as you told me you love me."

“...I don't...”

“Don't deny it, Junsu. You love me as your good friend Yuhwan. But you love Yoochun hyung no matter if he does good or bad to you. You love him without conditions or reasons. Am I right?”

At first, he wasn't sure if Yoochun hyung would really be able to make Junsu love from his heart, but after seeing Junsu take risks to hide him in various ways, he became sure that the person who should take care of Junsu from now on. It's his older brother...Park Yoochun...

“Maybe you have some love for me. At least for Yuhwan, the person who took care of you. But compared to what you want from your heart It cannot be compared.”

Junsu wanted what he did for him. Of course, he knew this person's needs better than anyone else. But no matter how many there are It didn't make the little body smile at all.

“Does Junsu know? Junsu never showed any emotion other than a slight embarrassment. with slight irritation It's time with me. It makes me disappointed that I still can't make you trust me. I have some influence on your emotions, but never as much as Yoochun hyung.”

The truth from Yuhwan's mouth went straight to the heart and was hard to deny. It's not that I don't know, in fact I've known for a long time. Time to sit and think about your own reckless actions later. It's enough to know that...I've never been able to control it.

“Didn't the whole class and you put up with each other for a long time? Admit it, Junsu. You have Yoochun hyung because you know that your heart with me isn't all yours. Everyone was uncomfortable for something like this to happen. Are you uncomfortable acting out a script I wrote without wanting to do it because my concern made you so considerate that you didn't dare disobey it?

I'm also uncomfortable with how unhappy you act when we're together. Even if you try not to show it But don't forget that the people who love you won't be able to see that, right?"

Yoohwan tries to let Junsu know that It wasn't just the little body who endured a relationship in which each person neglected the other's true feelings, he himself was hurt as well.

“If only you were willing to let go of our relationship. You don't have to feel guilty for the rest of your life.” The speaker's clear words of not wanting to put up with this matter any longer caused those who felt that they were about to lose to hold back with all their strength.

“No, no, I can't leave you. I can't do you wrong again. I love you. I love Yoohwan." Junsu held his lover's face tightly. to confirm that he really thought so

Yoohwan looked at his lover... Didn't Junsu not realize that every time he said the word love? The beautiful eyes that he was captivated by were so empty that he was frightened.

“Hold on to your lover status. So the two of us have to go back and force each other as before? My heart aches, Junsu.”

"Huh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." The more I heard that my loved one was hurt, Junsu had to endure a lot of guilt.

“I won't take it with you. You tied me up to let me sit and watch you love your own brother. Like that, I'll have to hurry away and go to school.” Even though it sounded like a joke, But Yuhwan really couldn't stand it any longer.

“No, no, no, I'm begging you. I can't.” Even though it hurt to force him, Junsu stubbornly insisted.

“Enough Junsu, my heart is about to break.” Yuhwan tightened his painful embrace. Let both of them know the word that the end has come upon them...a long time ago.

“Consider it my request, Junsu. Let me tell you I love you from far away, that's enough, let's end it.” A sad plea, as if Yuhwan was saying that this would be the last time he had to say something that hurt his own heart so much.

“Huh!” Junsu's cry was the clear answer. Even though he was satisfied, the change in his status had slammed into Yuhwan's heart until it was full.

"I love you, I really love you." To say I love you But Junsu will never love him. At first I thought I could accept it. But when I really put it in It hurts a lot, right? Happiness goes along with suffering. I really just understood today.

...Goodbye, my lover. I hope you will continue to walk strong. As worthy as I was willing to let you go...

Junsu responded by tightening his embrace. He cried very hard. It was as if he had completely released every feeling from his chest. All of the suffering that has been buried in my heart for a long time is over.

....Even though it's sad that they want to love each other but they can't. When people are too reluctant to be together There would just be a willingness to accept each other. In a different situation...

A long time has passed for saying goodbye to the relationship..ending it for a new, better start..after the emotional state of both of them has returned to a state that can be supported. Junsu asked to go wash his face and eyes. before saying that he had to go back to clear up work at the shop At first, Yoohwan volunteered to send him as usual. But Junsu insisted that if he wanted to do something himself, he had to accept it.

“Yuhwan,” Junsu turned around and called out to the owner of the house who had just walked out.

The tall man looked confused at the person calling him. before lowering his head as the little man beckoned as if he had something to say.

Kiss~!! A soft, supple touch touched the other person's cheek as a thank you.

“Ah!!” Junsu grinned widely before turning and walking away in a happy mood at having fulfilled Jaejoong's request. 'Don't accept being slapped for free' and it was revenge for the schemer who was looking dazed and standing and stroking his own cheek.

“Alright!!” Junsu hissed with excitement. As he raised his head to look at the wide, bright sky.

...The weather is good like this. I have to start doing what I should do...

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

A tall document file was lifted and tossed around. get out of the way Until some volumes fell from the pile and fell to the floor. The reason why it had piled up so much that it was almost impossible to fill it up was because the owner of the table didn't have the will to clean it up quickly like a workaholic like usual. If a book isn't so urgent that it has to be pulled out of the pile and put in a box for signing, don't expect Park Yoochun to agree.

The president's idle situation, where even his hobby of modeling was neglected, was the result of some stories that none of the employees at the company knew about and were just randomly guessing.. the incident at the Park family home...

“Why don't you follow along?” After walking out to send off his 'former' lover, Yuhwan walks up with reddened cheeks and greets his older brother who has been acting like a stalker from the beginning until the end.

“I don't know if I can take care of him as well as you hope...” After listening to his intention to let him take care of Junsu instead of himself, he began to feel unsure. Because he would definitely never be as good as Yoohwan. And another thing...will Junsu forgive him?

“You can still do it like that. So what are you afraid of?”

Yoochun looked at his younger sibling with an accusing look for daring to revive an old matter. which is not very old

“Don't be too late. Junsu isn't always there to wait for you,” Yuhwan trailed off before sighing wearily at his older brother who dared to make a big deal out of it. But when he came, he almost wanted to kick him.

His face scrunched up against the table before he reached out and pressed the button to connect to the secretary at the front of the room.

"Mr. Hwang...today's dessert?"

Two weeks ago, Yoochun still couldn't muster up the courage to go see Junsu in person. But with nostalgia stuffed in his chest, his figure made him call and order snacks from Junsu's shop to eat every day. Even though it wasn't the 'special' snack that Junsu had often sent him to eat. But just being known as Junsu's work He felt that it was the most delicious thing in the world.

The sound of the door opening didn't stop the person rubbing his cheek on the table from looking up. Until a box of sweets wrapped in gold paper was carelessly thrown in front of him. Even though he had ordered Dibdee to be cherished, whether it was a box or a ribbon, in order to keep it as a souvenir. Until now they are piled up in a small pile. Stay behind your desk until you're afraid of ants.

Yoochun raised his head, hoping to rebuke, but had to gasp...

“Jaejoong!!” Yoochun opened his eyes to see his former lover standing with his feet hips, staring at the state of his lover, shaking his head in disgust.

After Yoohwan talked with Junsu His younger brother was the one who called to talk to Jaejoong because he was in no mood to be scolded by his ex-lover Jaejoong for his lack of action. I just met here.

Haven't gotten to greet you yet. A third person walked up and stood behind Jaejoong, smiling and greeting him.

"hello"

“Uh..Hello..” Yoochun greeted back....who?...

“Thank you for always taking care of Jaejoong.”

...Oh...a thank you with an arm around his waist indicating ownership was enough to make Yoochun understand that it must have been his father who called to apologize to Jaejoong that day.

"Is it okay, Mr..?" And then I heard a sound. But because we never really knew each other, we didn't know each other's names.

"I am here. I didn't let you talk to each other." Jaejoong protested to interrupt the new boyfriend with his ex. before dragging his tall father out of the room

“Where are you going in such a hurry, Jaejoong? I just came back from…”

“Be quiet!!” The door slammed shut and a thin person's fierce voice sounded. I doubt the honeymoon will be successful. The bear-faced father was so scared.

Yoochun hurriedly opened the box of snacks that today seemed bigger than every day with excitement. What will Junsu's shop have for you today? Once the ribbon is removed He opened the lid of the box to reveal a small envelope sitting on top of the candy wrapper.

Yoochun picked up the card with his heart pounding. There had never been a letter attached before. Or is it a letter from Junsu like before... and it really is? It's a letter from Junsu...just the content on it...makes the reader's heart drop...

Junsu . Kim

From Seoul

To Tokyo

11.45 am

“Junsu!!”

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

I don't know how much I stepped on. Next thing I knew, I was parked in front of the entrance to Incheon Airport. I parked the car like that. Not afraid of being stolen Not afraid of being slashed or having your car seized or anything Now I just think We have to find the little guy before it's too late.

Your feet ordered you to walk along a familiar path. Because of business, you have to fly abroad often. Plus, the more you are Japanese, the more you fly like it's a joke. So I know that if it's a flight like this, where do I check in? What time is it? as calculated The little person should have already checked in by now. Junsu intended to send the letter like this and also left enough time for it to arrive in time. It shows that you intend for him to meet you.

My heart was agitated because I didn't know what Junsu's intention was to come talk to me when I was flying for less than an hour. What did it mean? Call across the country to ask Yohwan. He didn't know that Junsu would make this decision. He also told me to calm down that Junsu had already made up his mind. will never change Both the story of going to Japan and other stories.

Our expertise will not disappoint you. I saw Junsu standing with a cart loaded with one large suitcase and several small ones... Carrying so much... How long would Junsu be gone? Thinking in my heart, I couldn't get an answer, so I hurriedly walked towards him.

A sweet face that was obscured by sharp tiger-print sunglasses turned and saw me. Junsu smiled just enough to make me feel more at ease than when we last met. As I walked closer, he greeted me.

“I think we should talk before I go.”

“Brother...sorry..” These are the only words I can think of in a situation where I haven't prepared any words at all. Part of me wants to convey to him that I feel guilty for what I did to him. ...Another part of me secretly hoped that...I would use it to keep Junsu from leaving.

“Yes, you should apologize to both me and everyone.” Junsu smiled and gave a small nod. in agreement I caught the sadness in his voice. But I'm not sure because he was wearing sunglasses, blocking his eyes.

“I am going to expand my branch to Japan. You must stay there for a while before things settle down.” He answered my question. And probably also emphasize that there will be no change of mind. Our conversation seemed far too simple to be the words of two people who had just had a life-or-death disagreement. It's like asking about each other's stories as usual..ordinary...to the point that I think it's too ordinary.

“Then I'm going to fly...” I was thinking about the time I'd flown to visit and let Junsu take a tour of the cherry blossoms. But he cut it off rudely.

"But I probably won't contact you again," he interrupted curtly.

“Why Junsu?!!” Did I hear wrong?!! Is he saying he's going to stop dealing with me?

I looked deeply through the dark lenses, trying to penetrate the eyes of the heartless person.

“It's too difficult. Do you understand?” Junsu lowered his head and averted his eyes. Even though I couldn't see his eyes But he could see the pain in my eyes.

....Junsu feels too guilty..too sad...too disgusted with himself...to stand on the same land...not ready to face..not even managing his own feelings. All right...so he had to run away..

“We won't meet again, right?” I had to accept it. Even though I don't want to understand at all. Junsu was in a lot of pain. If you want him to stay in the same environment. The symptoms would get worse. I should let him go

I wanted him to promise that he would come back but then he decided not to say anything. Because the more you expect to take the exact time Junsu will be even more uncomfortable.. because I know, I understand, so I choose to do as he wants. I began to understand Yuhwan's feelings more. If I keep trying I can take better care of Junsu, right? If I ask for time to change myself

When we meet again No matter when..we will be together happier than now, right?

"Then I have one request..if we meet again...I want to talk to you 'normally'. Is that okay?" I emphasized our conversation style, not wanting to be physically tired of it. very much The little man smiled and laughed. The smile that I used to think was cute when he smiled at Yoohwan. I'm trying a little harder to make it mine one day.

Junsu tilted his head and nodded. It was the same moment as the announcement calling for passengers on his flight to enter the gate. He brought a cart and prepared to go. Before giving me a little bow.

“Junsu, do you..do you love me?” I blurted out without realizing it. Maybe it's because it stays in my heart. It's a question that must be asked every time Junsu turns to walk away. But I still haven't gotten an answer.

Junsu was stunned. before draping the shirt he was holding onto the luggage cart Taking off his sunglasses, he revealed clear, slender eyes. Then he took my hand and lifted it up to hold my heart on his chest. Junsu rose on tiptoe and pressed his soft lips against mine. A sudden kiss from the person I love makes my heart flutter. But what made it beat so fast that it almost burst out was because of the sound of my head that my hand felt on the little person's left chest.

It was pulsing faster and faster. The rhythm of squeezing hard Its beat fast enough with my heart that it was almost the same rhythm. The kiss only stayed close but was filled with so many feelings. Junsu parted his lips and let go of his hair before putting on his sunglasses as usual.

“Goodbye..Yuchun hyung,” he concluded with a smile. before grabbing the cart and walking away Goodbye with sad meaning But why do I feel like Junsu just said....

“See you later, Junsu.”

-=-Pretend To Don't Know-=-

...Three years later...

“Are we awake yet? Sigh!! In the past, I rarely came home from work, so my mother was worried. But when I thought about staying at home, I just slept and ate in the city until my mother started to worry.” The voice of Mrs. Ban Park complained to her eldest son who was walking down the stairs trembling around noon.

“Oh, Mom, I'm staying with you as a friend. Yoohwan?” Park Yoochun covered his mouth with his hand and yawned. The other hand reached in and scratched his belly. His demeanor like that of an old uncle made the mother shake her head.

“I warmed up some porridge for my brother and left half an hour ago. This one is the same. When I came back instead of staying at home I like to hang out at the company. I don't know what's so crazy about work. It was late when I returned. Rarely see face to face In the morning we went out before the sun had yet risen. And like this, when will we be able to be together?

This is good. Today my younger sibling is a little late. Otherwise, I won't be able to see my youngest son this month.”

Once the eldest was satisfied, it was the youngest's turn. Master's degree graduate Got gossiped about in the kitchen circle after he was in the middle of having fun with his job until he forgot about the sun. But what I haven't forgotten is...always taking care of my brother...

Yoochun smiled at his complaint and a smile graced his mother's face. Why don't you know how happy his mother is that Yohwan is acting like a more personable person than when he was fixating up his car until he had no money to buy food? Even though later you will make a lot of money.

“Nah, stop it. We're going to search for chocolate to eat since morning. Let's go eat our porridge first. It's all gone cold. Eat only desserts until your belly protrudes. Do you see that? How can you be a star?” Because he found out, he had to close the refrigerator door and walk back and sit down in front of a bowl of porridge, where the heat had disappeared for good.

Sharp eyes looked down at the delicious-looking pork porridge in the bowl. He thanked his younger brother in his heart. Before his eyes caught sight, he saw a piece of paper sticking out between the bowl and saucer. as fast as thought ...A strong hand grabbed the bowl and raised it high until Joe splashed and spilled it on top of the bowl, causing it to stain and touch the paper. Yoochun hurriedly placed the bowl on the table. The sound of tiles hitting wood was loud enough to draw a warning look from Mrs. Park. Yoochun smiles. before pulling out the porridge-stained paper and reading it

We haven't had a chance to 'talk' today. If you're not too busy, please come and 'talk'.

Junsu

The content is almost copied, making the readers unhappy. I'm bored of the same old blood-pumping rhythm. of healthy people I would like to increase the rate to the same level as someone who has just run across the mountain. Even more, when the sharp eyes read the sweep again, it increased to spinning on a hula hoop, bouncing and bouncing against the ribcage until it hurt all over.

“Mom!! Has Jaejoong brought snacks today?” Yoochun wanted to prove something. And if it's what he thinks?? He asked about the desserts that were sent every day at the request of people who were addicted to this particular dessert shop. because when the real owner was not present His best friend, Jaejoong, went in to take care of the management until the shop was making a huge profit. But even so

The founders have no sign of returning to take it back...

“Since last night. But I was asleep, so Mom didn't wake me up,” Mrs. Park replied, feeling puzzled at her son's overly excited attitude... after all, he gets to live every day. How can he be so happy...

“Where are you, Mom?!!”

“Put it in the refrigerator in the same place. Yoochun, eat first! This child!!”

The tall man ignored his mother's protests. Walk straight to open the refrigerator and take a look. And found a golden box, the same size, same size, in the same place. He hurriedly pulled the ribbon almost to the point of snatching it. Let it fall on the floor Then quickly open the box cover. A light orange card framed in a white center with tiny gold stripes sits neatly in a white cellophane base lined in a rectangular shape.

Next to it were three heart-shaped chocolates arranged side by side. On the gold foil paper used for wrapping, the name of the shop is written on top of the white wings that serve as the shop's symbol. Makes the thrilling feelings of yesterday come back to experience. It was more than before when we hadn't seen a card like this in three years.

‘Whitechoc from Heaven’

It's a dessert that I just tried to make after not making it myself for a long time. I would like some 'feedback' from Yoochun hyung.

Junsu

The message I thought made my heart leap. Yoochun quickly grabbed the note paper covered in porridge and the snack box and hugged it to his chest. Before running up to the room to take a shower and change clothes, take as little time as possible. A handsome young man came down and appeared in the kitchen. Yoochun kissed his mother's cheek and expressed his strong intentions.

“Mom, today I won't come back for dinner..well...I probably won't come back to stay over.” He firmly confirmed before grabbing the car keys, rushing out, starting the engine and driving away.

“What is it with us, Yoochun!!”

...I will never pretend to know about this matter!!....( ^ ^)

[END]

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