Pannaree closed her eyes and fell asleep. Dreamed of seeing a man and woman holding hands with a little boy. The boy was laughing happily. His father lifted the little boy and held him in his arms. The mother reached out and held her child up in case he fell. The three of them turned into the house, his house, Pan's house.
Chan walked up the 1st, 2nd, 3rd step of the stairs and looked to the left and right again. Didn't find anything unusual. He kept walking. Until the third floor This house is very big. The third floor consists of three bedrooms. Chan walked to the far right room without hesitation. He was quite familiar with this house. His right hand was hidden beneath the faded jeans he usually wore.
His left hand reached out to twist the doorknob. The door wasn't locked. It's as he thought. He slowly turned the knob. Make the softest sound possible And then he opened the door. Chan leaned into the room and saw an older woman sleeping on the bed. Chan walked up to the woman. He heard her breathing come in a slow rhythm.
It matched the rise and fall of her chest. Her wavy hair had started to turn white from not having dyed it for a long time. Chan knelt slowly at the foot of her bed.
“Mother.”
His voice could only come out of his throat, with only the air passing through his voiceless mouth. Chan looked at his mother's face in case she woke up. When she was sure that she was not awake, she clasped her hands together and carefully bowed the soles of her feet before walking out of the room, not forgetting to close the door behind her.
If Chan had stayed just another minute, he would have noticed the clear water. Flowing from the corner of the woman's eyes
It has been more than ten years since he left his country to live in Bangkok. From “Chan” a man with a muscular body. Now she has become "Pan", a beautiful young woman. It took him six years to transform his body to such perfection. Lots of trial and error. Life has gone through quite a bit of life and death.
Pan or Chan is now considered to be the most beautiful woman in Thailand when she was nominated for the Beautiful, Heartbreaking, and Terrifying award and received a score that We're separated from Poy Treechada, a senior in the industry, with scores that are hundreds of yoy apart.
“Pancha, are you ready?”
“Oh, I'm ready.” Pan turned and smiled at her personal manager after she had just recently taken care of her tiny bikini. She reached up and pulled up the pink satin cloth that had been accidentally placed on the chair and wrapped it around her waist. Spread back your newly dyed brown hair. Picking up the sunglasses hanging between her breasts
Walking confidently, he opened the door and walked towards the swimming pool outside the building.
With the glow of her white skin in the sunlight, it was even more inviting, causing both real women, real men, and fake men to stop what they were doing and turn to look at her with one eye. She was already used to people looking at her like this, but if it had been years ago, she would have been extremely embarrassed. But there was only one person who didn't look at her at all: that photographer.
“Pan is ready.”
“Yes.” Lily ran up to the photographer to tell him that Pan was ready. He looked up from his camera, looked at Pan for a moment, then turned to speak to Lily. Everything that happened was in Pan's eyes. Lily beckoned Pan to come over. Pan took off his glasses and placed them on the table, his eyes still staring at the young photographer.
“Today's concept is....” The photographer began to explain the style of today's photo shoot to Pan. She just nodded along without even paying attention.....Ten centimeters taller than me? Um, my name is Tim....so delicious.....
Today's work went smoothly. Pan and Tim work well together and are both professionals. Tim started talking to Pan in a more friendly manner. It took only two hours for the work to be completed.
After finishing their work, Pan and Tim went their separate ways. Living their lives in their own way until one day the two met again at a famous pub in the Sukhumvit area. Pan, who was traveling with her girlfriend, met Tim sitting at a bar with a beautiful woman. Pan kept secretly looking at Tim for a while. Before realizing that the woman was not together, but was just someone who came in hoping to eat dim sum.
When that woman walked away, Pan waited for a while and then walked in. "I'll be right back." Pan walked with a glass and went straight to Tim. But a strange man offered her a glass and asked to toast her along the way. She could only smile and excuse herself, making the young men's faces gloat as well.
“Hello, Mr. Tim.”
Tim raised his head after the alcohol he drank began to make the world in his head spin faster. "Um," Tim greeted nonchalantly, causing Pan to feel lost. No man has ever rejected me like this...... She held the glass in and took a swig before lifting it up to drink. She looked at her own glass before lifting it up and drinking the entire glass in one go and then adding more liquor to herself.
Pan sat down as close to Tim as possible and the scent of her perfume must have penetrated his senses. Tim turned to look.
"Heh, women are all the same. They like to use their charm to spread things around... Oh my gosh."
“But Pan...not a woman.”
There was nothing that Pan wanted but never got. Especially when it comes to satisfying your own needs. After she revolutionized her body, no matter what kind of man she wanted, she would fall at her feet, whether in the industry, outside the industry, or undercover. or even people in uniforms Tonight, Pan made a vow to himself:
If tonight I'm not prepared to find a new name for Epan....
And it's true. With the power of alcohol circulating in his bloodstream mixed with resentment for the woman he loved, Tim Tim's world seems to spin faster and faster until it brings him to Pan. woman who is not woman The two shared a coffin at Tim's condo.
Pan thought that last night's incident was just a dream when she awoke to find herself lying naked on a bed with no blanket covering her body, but the room was unfamiliar. She looked around the room. His heart began to dampen as he touched the skin of the man still lying beside him. Pan accidentally smiled at him and leaned in to kiss the tip of his nose. 'Last night was very fun'
Pan got out of bed, her body still tired from last night's heavy battle and the residual alcohol that made her walk to the bathroom dazed. The bathroom here is very large. She went to look in the mirror and examined her own body, which had dark spots on many places. Her eyes fell on a toothbrush that she found had two handles side by side. She was used to it.
This was not the first time she had found that every bathroom she had ever entered had two toothbrushes. Because of each of her sexual relations It doesn't come from love, but from lust and charm. Only then, when they have orgasm, each of them breaks up and goes on with their own lives.
But this time, she found that her feelings had changed. She felt like she wanted to throw both brushes away and replace them with a new pair, her own and the one she loved. Pan closed his eyes and tried to control his own mind that was crying... Epan, keep still.... Pan found himself clenching his hands tightly.
I walked over and turned on the shower, letting the water flow through my body and my hot heart began to calm down. She walked out of the bathroom and found Tim still sleeping. Pan sat down next to the bed and stared at Tim's face for a long time. Use your fingertips to stroke your nose, past your serrated mouth, across your chin, neck, and chest until you stop at your navel. No...Epaan. What are you doing? Hurry up.
Pan's brain was urging her to move away from this room. from this man But her heart refused to move away. Epan...Hurry!!!!!
She found that she couldn't. A decided that he would only leave when he woke up first. She wanted to talk to him for a bit and say goodbye. Kiss one more time before leaving.
And if you can't accept that you're a transvestite? What will you do?...
What era is it now? They don't care what gender they are.... Pan shook off his own thoughts. Get up and walk to explore the other rooms. I think I'll go in a while. Pan walked through the living room. Saw a picture of a man and woman hugging each other in the background of the Eiffel Tower. I've never been here before... The picture on the side is of a woman sitting on a bench reading a book, as if secretly taken. Are you too sweet? Pan is secretly jealous.
So he reimagined it as her instead of that woman.
“Pan”
“Yes.” She was a little startled. Looking towards the room she walked out of. Tim is walking in. I'm dying...what can I say?
“Old boyfriend, it's me.”
“I have a new boyfriend.”
“So you?”
Pan didn't realize how long he held Tim. Since when did tears flow? When did you let Tim out of your embrace? It's like the world stopped turning. It's like there's just the two of us. Pan promised herself that she would have only Tim and love only Tim forever.
“Pan...Pan.” The old woman gently held her child's arm. Pan opened her heavy eyes. Her eyes were adjusting to clarity but all she could see was a white light and the faint shadow of her mother.
“I'll wipe you off for you,” the old woman twisted the towel that was soaked in warm water in the bowl and smiled softly at her child. Reaching out a trembling hand, he wiped his forehead, cheeks, nose, mouth, neck. He turned around and wrung out the water. Then start wiping again Pan could only lie motionless, mouth wide open, trying to swallow the saliva in his dry throat.
Eyes staring up at the ceiling but saw nothing It's like there's fog covering it.
"mother"
“Hmph, let me wipe your back first.” The old woman pushed her body on its side with difficulty. The pus that came out stained the bed sheets and Pan's back. “It's almost healed, Pan.” The old woman turned and wrung out the water again, carefully wiping away the pus on her child's back.
"mother"
“Hmm.”
“Chan...please...sorry.”
“..." The old woman pulled out the cloth that was covered with pus and spread a new cloth on it. "What's the matter? I've never held anything against you...why are you apologizing to me?" The old woman grabbed her son's hand and held her.
“Chan...please..sorry..mae.”
“..." The old woman didn't say anything. He leaned in and kissed the tip of Pan's nose. Turn to collect the water bowl. Then push yourself up “Mom, go get the porridge first. It's probably starting to get cold. Please wait a moment for Mom.”
The old woman walked down the stairs awkwardly. Over the past few years, her health had not been good. After Pan or Chan left home ten years ago That night, Chum woke up in the middle of the night. Had a nightmare that her husband would come and take the child to live with her. She lay staring at the ceiling, reflecting on her dreams. The heart beats irregularly.
Then I heard a sound like someone twisting the door latch and entering the room.
Soaked, pretending to sleep
Her son walked in. Stopping at the foot of her bed Today the two just had a quarrel. The story of Chan going to Bangkok Along with a ladyboy friend from the boxing camp where Chan went to train. Chum later found out that Chan signed up for a boxing camp because he wanted to be close to men. Chum thought that her son would come and apologize to her.
Tears flowed out of gratitude without realizing it. Som wakes up early to go to the market today and has to cook his own child's favorite food, which is stir-fried crab with curry powder. No matter how expensive the crabs are, she will only choose good ones to fry for her children to eat.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Chan...Mom has finished cooking. Chan's favorite stir-fried crab with curry powder,” Chum called out to his child at the front of the room. holding up a plate of food In case it smells into the room... For a long time, there was no answer. "Chan... Luk" Chum felt confused. She tried twisting the door, but it didn't lock. She slowly opened the door and stuck her face in.
Chan isn't here, his things are gone.
Klangkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Chum was startled and looked at the bowl that had fallen from his hand and the water had spilled all over the floor of the house. She looked for a rag to wipe the floor with.
One afternoon, mysterious mail arrived at Chum's house. It's been seven years since Chan disappeared without even sending her any news. Every day, Chum wakes up and gives alms to the monks and asks for blessings to protect her son. and contact back home Her wish came true when the post office sent an anonymous letter to her home, but Chum recognized her son's scribbles.
Mother's heart swelled, she painstakingly opened the envelope to cause as little damage as possible, for fear that any words might be torn and missing. The content of the letter simply stated: The money has already been transferred into the account. Fold the letter and put it in the envelope. This was not what she expected to read at all....
At this time, who doesn't know this woman? Probably impossible For this girl Anyone who lets her walk past her must stare until her neck almost breaks. I would like to give a round of applause to the person who received the beautiful, heart-breaking, terrifying award this year, Nong Pan Pannaree......
Chum looked up from the ironing of the cloth and looked at the graceful woman walking from behind the screen. The woman's smile was familiar. like....
Wow, even women are embarrassed.
Chum moved towards the TV screen. Stare with unblinking eyes
I remember that smile, Chanluk Mae.
Chan has changed a lot from the muscular man with dark skin from practicing boxing. Now she has turned into a hermaphrodite with a delicate body, white skin, and her wavy hair has straightened and flowed. Everything seemed to change except for that smile that didn't change. The more I looked at her, the more certain I was that I almost wanted to jump into the late-night television. My son came and hugged me.....
Soaked, wiped off all the water and carried it to the sink in the back of the kitchen. Leave the water running through Pan's towel. Then he walked into the kitchen and scooped warm porridge into a cup with the Princess Snow White design that Pan liked. Pick up the spoon from the box and walk up the stairs to Pan's room on the third floor......
“Tim, who are you talking to on the phone?”
"..." Tim had a serious expression on his face. Hands clasped together tightly
“Tim.”
“Sin's mother called... said that Sin was pregnant with me... that she broke up with me because her father forced her to marry someone else. Before I found out that Sin was pregnant."
It was like Pan had just woken up from a dream. The person she thought would be her true love and refuge gained wings and disappeared into the air. Pan vows never to love anyone again. She began to act wildly, drinking, smoking, and sleeping with random men. The money she had saved was beginning to deplete and her work was being wasted.
Everyone was fed up with her behavior. Her body began to deteriorate, especially recently when she found that she was sick more often.
Pan decided to consult a doctor.
....or what is known as AIDS. Now the infection is in its second stage.
The doctor's warnings and advice had no effect on her life at all. Pan continued to live the same life and did not go to see the doctor as ordered. Her condition gradually began to deteriorate. Until she could hardly go out when her body began to have blisters and pus flowing out.
...if mother is listening, no matter where she is No matter who your mother is, please send love back.
Pan looked at a television program to find the date and stumbled upon a music program.
...if mom is listening Please think of me. I promise you that I will be a good child...there are many children who want to meet their mothers..and you...
“Mom...” Pan accidentally called out.
How many years has it been since you left home?
How many months has it been since we haven't talked?
How many days has it been since I didn't think of you?
Pan mustered up his remaining strength to help, reached out to pick up the phone, and dialed the number he still remembered, waiting for the destination to answer. Throughout the ten year period, Pan never called his mother, only sent an anonymous letter because he didn't want his mother to come find him. Afraid that others would know that he came from a rural family. Not as famous in the family circle as other people. But at this time Pan really wanted to hear his mother's voice.
"hello"
“Hello...who is it?”
“Are you smart, child?”
“Let's go back to our house.”
Trutttttttttttttttttttt
The sound of water from behind the house echoed throughout the house. Chum slowly supported the bowl of porridge up the stairs past steps 1, 2, 3. Chum stopped and felt like she couldn't breathe, which was her personal disease, asthma. Medicine was on the head of the bedroom.
Chum collected herself and stepped up. She could do it, just a little more. The medicine is on the bedside table. Pan is waiting to eat crab porridge.
Chum walked only up to the second floor of the house. Then her consciousness faded with the sound of her porridge bowl breaking at her feet.
Pan has been home for three months now. Pan felt extremely pitiful about his own condition. He had to wear heavy clothing to cover up the bumps on his body and face. Pan hired a tricycle to drive him to her house. Even though the roads and houses have changed a lot But Pan's house is still the same. The tricycle came to a stop in front of the house.
Pan paid the money and stepped out of the car, when an old woman appeared from inside the house looking up. Then hurriedly walked in and came looking for him. He still didn't dare face his mother.
“Chan...have you come back yet?” A smile appeared on the old woman's face. It was a smile he hadn't seen in a long time. Childhood memories began to return again.
“Mother” Pan really wanted to embrace her but was afraid that her mother would also contract the disease. Pan backed away from Chum. It was Chum who walked up to her and embraced her beloved child.
“Mom is going to buy crabs. Let's stir fry curry powder for Chan. Please come into our house.”
Pan's body was not as beautiful as before. Returning home, his condition worsened even more. Now the cancer is entering its final stage, waiting only for the day of death. But he was happy that his mother would not have to take care of him all day. Even though the mother's own health was not very strong. His eyesight had started to fog up in the past two months, adding to his mother's burden even more.
But mother never complained....
Chan thinks back to his own days since the day he ran away from home. Date of work at the bar Date of first surgery The day she became famous The day she started falling in love with Tim The day you woke up from your dream The day she started acting like a fool Until today...
I'm confused.... The sound of a bowl of warm water hitting the floor
Jock.... The sound of water flowing from the back of the house
Pukkkk....
Chan or Pan or Pannaree closed her eyes and fell asleep. Dreamed of seeing a man and woman holding hands with a little boy. The boy was laughing happily. His father lifted the little boy and held him in his arms. The mother reached out and held her child up in case he fell. The three of them turned into the house, his house, Pan's house.