DEAR, READER

I'M LUMIN AND TAOHUN SHIPPER.

SO, THIS OS ALSO TALKS ABOUT LUMIN, BUT LESS THAN 10%.

STORY BY

MIKASAWAYUKI

THANKS O W E N TM.

This was the second time after my ankle injury that I decided to return to Qingdao. It wasn't that I wanted to be away from the members or that the Korean doctors' treatment wasn't good enough. But right now my heart is hurting…

It was already past midnight at that time… While I was waiting to hear from someone It's not one of the members or that person that I miss the most. But it was a close Chinese friend who was spending some time alone in Korea and I had recently introduced the member I'm closest to, Sehun.

The message from Jun came in just as I was considering whether or not I should greet him first. But then the picture of little Peter Pan's smiling face, whose birthday is today, and a big cake were sent. A smile lit up the corner of my mouth... Sehun's smile is still the same as on the first day we met. And the freshness in it changed my gray world forever.

Sehun's smile is my most precious thing… Huang Zitao

'Sehun doesn't say a word about you... But I think he misses you.'

I could only read that message over and over. Before letting the tears flow down again as a sharp pain shot up to the ankle... No matter when or if something happens, the two of us are always beside each other. But right now, right here beside Sehun was blank. I don't know if he feels lonely like I do right now…

But no matter how much I want to go back and stand there Every time I think about the mistakes I've made The shame that rose in my heart made me lower my head and silently let the tears flow down my cheeks alone.

Sehun-ah… I'm sorry.

Now my heart hurts so much

At that time… In a few hours it would already be morning.

I'm not a morning person. Just after returning from the birthday party, I couldn't fall asleep. Suho hyung must have gone to bed early because of the members of the side.

K

There has been a commercial shoot since morning. So when I returned to the bedroom, the lights had already been turned off. Only Minseokhyung's bedroom still had the light on. Probably chatting or video calling with someone you know… Because I overheard Hyung speaking Chinese for a few sentences. And because I don't want to disturb anyone at such a late hour.

So I chose to go into Tao's bedroom instead. That guy shares a room with Manager Hyung. But tonight, hyung didn't come back to our dorm like usual.

The gifts and bags were unloaded and placed on the bed with what little strength was left. I picked out one of Tao's pajamas and went to use the bathroom outside. But because Baekhyunhyung took one corner of the living room as a bedroom. So I had to take it slow. Walk carefully because the sound of my footsteps might wake him up. I don't want to be complained in the middle of the night or be warned by D.O. hyung early in the morning because Baekhyun hyung took issue with me.

After the body is a bit refreshed after taking a shower. I came and spread myself out on Tao's bed... Someone who is almost a year older than me but I'm used to calling him just Tao without the word hyung at the end. and always choose not to use polite words with people I treat myself like friends in the same age group.

Because the story between us… me and Tao, sometimes is too deep to just sit and pay attention to those details.

Many people may think that I am stubborn. But they still don't know that there is another person who is even more stubborn than me… Huang Zitao, that guy is not only stubborn but also has an obstinate disease… Maybe because he had studied wushu before, he always liked to think that he was superior to others. And because of that, many times Tao likes to force himself to do things beyond his own strength…

I still remember the previous incident where we had a heated argument. Because of his ankle injury after a basketball match on the Idol Sports program

When I heard the news... The clock next to the bed said that it was very late at that time.

Tao did not return to the dormitory immediately after the match ended. He only sent me a message telling me of his injury and then disappeared silently. I was so angry that he suddenly cut off the conversation. And I was even more annoyed when Suho-hyung wasn't there for me to vent at that time. So I got up and turned off all the lights in the bedroom without paying attention to anything else… But amidst the darkness, there was still a small yellow lamp that Tao had bought at the beginning of the year that was still shining brightly.

It was like he was asking me to give the owner of that gift another chance.

I lay staring at the yellow light of the lamp for a long time. Before letting out a long breath... Then one of Minseokhyung's words flashed in his mind.

'Don't aggravate those who are hurting... No matter how much we are disappointed because we love him. But don't push him away... Hold his hand and embrace him with love. That's what we should do. Because that's enough, his heart hurts enough.'

That's what Minseok-hyung taught me and he's always done it. The smallest hyung has such a big heart that you can respect it. The clearest evidence is the friendship story between Minseok Hyung and Luhan Hyung. which may even have been discovered by a small group of fans But for those of us who spend most of our time together, The relationship between the two is a beautiful friendship that makes us smile at the beauty that never changes with time or distance.

I smiled to myself once before taking a picture of the lamp that made me think.

Instagram

But when I updated it, it was just in time for Tao to update.

Social

his personal I also read Tao's message to fans who were worried about his injury... His Korean is still as strange as ever. But that's not what I'm interested in. Because the content of those messages is gradually A smile formed on the corner of my mouth.

Tao never lost his athletic instincts.

That night, by the time Tao returned to the dormitory, everyone was asleep. But before they could fall asleep until the person who started the story, Baekhyunhyung, quieted down. Because when they heard the news that Tao was injured, Hyung, who had taken the living room as his bedroom, dragged everyone to gather there. Then immediately called Manager Hyung to ask about Tao's condition. As for me... I just sat down quietly.

on the sofa without saying a word. But even so, my condition couldn't hide Jong Dae Hyung's eyes. Because while I was sitting quietly, Hyung's small hand, which always had a smile on his face, moved to gently squeeze my hand.

“Don't worry.”

Hyung comforts me gently. before laying our heads down when the manager told us to go to bed first. Because at that time we were preparing for an upcoming concert. Manager hyung is especially worried about our rest time. But Baekhyun hyung still insisted that he would wait to meet Tao first.

And because of that, Tao had to pick up the phone and talk to everyone himself… His voice sounded fine. But I know it's not like that.

I lay quietly waiting. in the room until they heard the sound of the dormitory door being opened. The lights outside weren't turned on as expected because there was no light coming through my bedroom door. It was probably because Tao had forbidden it or Manager Hyung was afraid it would disturb Baekhyun Hyung's sleep. But because I wasn't asleep… So I opened the bedroom door and went out to look.

Tao's expression looked uncomfortable, similar to his tone when talking to the hyungs.

I lay looking at the yellow lamp with uneasiness for a while. But while I was thinking too much My bedroom door was gently knocked on. before being immediately pushed in

“Then you must not be asleep yet.”

“Yes.” I sat up and answered Manager Hyung's words without raising my head to make eye contact. Because I didn't want him to see the worry I was trying to hide.

“You two are really alike, hehe…”

Then the sound of a long sigh called my eyes to glance up. But even then, more anxiety makes me lick my lips like I do when I'm feeling unsure.

“Let's take a look at Zi Tao... Hyung, I'll give you my bed for one night." Then the person standing on armrests at the door came and sat down at the foot of my bed, smiling at me. “That guy needs encouragement. And you are probably the person who understands that the most.”

“But…” I was about to argue. But Manager Hyung put his hand on my shoulder.

“Please give it to me.”

"yes"

Because of Hyung's eyes who have been through more stories and are usually people who understand situations in various matters. Better than anyone else, everyone is looking at me with confidence and hope. So I just promised and got up and left the room to find another person who was probably blaming himself at the time.

"I'm… sorry, I messed up the room again."

When I pushed the door in In the midst of darkness because the lights in the whole room were turned off. A voice like someone who was trying to hold back sobs spoke softly. And when opening the door a little wider... The light from outside filtered through the window and I could see a pile of tissues falling from the bed and strewn across the floor.

“Are you going to cry until morning? I'll get you some tissues from that room.”

When I found out it was me... The person who was moving at first stopped, but instead… the sound of sobbing became so loud that I had to bring myself inside and lock the door. Because I don't want anyone to disturb me again after that. And when the sound of sobbing came out to be heard I decided to turn on the light switch so I could see those hurt eyes clearly.

"Can't you turn on the light?"

“Can you stop crying?” I asked, and the answer was louder sobs than before.

I moved to sit next to him. The person who is letting the tears flow down without stopping Tao's hands were clenched together so tightly that bulging veins could be seen. Sharp eyes that were once full of confidence were now red and wet with tears. His jagged lips were bitten to hold back the moans of regret.

“Does it hurt a lot?” I asked, to which he nodded like a little child. for accidentally falling while playing chase and catch with friends And maybe it was because the body that was trembling with the force of the sobs seemed to break at any second… So I stretched out my arms to wrap Tao in an embrace.

“Scream all of you.” My hands ran along the wide back to comfort the injured panda. Tao tightened his embrace on me. His sharp face rests on his shoulder. And that's when I felt the warmth of the tears being absorbed through the fabric.

My heart fluttered… "And don't cry again."

My voice trembled. And I only realized it when Tao pulled away and touched the tip of his finger on my cheek. That I had accidentally let tears fall without realizing it. “Why are you crying?”

“Then why are you crying?”

I hugged him again and buried my face in the broad chest that I always held as a refuge… My tears continued to fall silently. But Tao didn't ask any more questions. Because he knows that if I choose to be quiet No matter how many times he was asked, he would never get an answer.

“Sorry, Sehun. That hurts again."

“Can you promise that this will be the last time… I will not force myself like today again.”

"contract…"

Tao's pinky finger slid around my pinky finger. Before gathering my whole body into a hug with our little fingers still intertwined… I glanced at the bond between us with one hope. That is, Tao will have a strong body. And there will be no more tears because of injuries.

That night we stayed up and talked for a while. Because Tao is worried that his injury will affect the concert preparations. But due to exhaustion from playing on the basketball court all day Plus the effects of the medicine and the pain in the ankle. He fell asleep soon after.

I got up from Manager Hyung's bed and stepped next to the sleeping person's toes to get a closer look at the injury. The purple-green bruises were so frightening that I could only turn my head away.

I pulled away after not being able to stand looking at it. To touch the trembling fingertips, turn off the light switch and leave the entire room in darkness. At that time, I only thought that if the injury got worse, Will Tao be strong and get through this difficult time? But when my head hits the pillow As usual, sleepiness overcame my overthinking.

Until the early morning... I was woken up by Tao's screams. To find that what I was worried about had already happened.

“Hyung! Hurry! Tao is very hurt.”

My bedroom door was pushed open. Manager Hyung quickly got up from the bed. before running after him into his bedroom where Zitao was sitting holding his ankles at that time.

Tears began to well up and fill his sharp eyes again. I could only gently caress Tao's cheek and reassure him that it would get better. He nodded and bit his lip. And seeing how hard Tao was trying to endure those pains So I just tried to hold back my tears as well. Because that's not the time for me to be weak or cry and make Tao worry again.

Tao was immediately taken to the hospital for examination. And when the tall figure was lifted out by Manager Hyung The living room was already occupied with all the members who had been woken up by my shouts.

Everyone was worried about Tao's sudden condition. and comforting people whose expressions were clearly deteriorating not to worry about anything. Lay Hyung said something to Tao in Chinese. To which he smiled with a slightly better expression before Manager Hyung helped him out. and let us prepare for the rehearsal that would take place in a few hours.

Late in the day, treatment results confirmed that Tao needed to rest. But he insisted on Manager Hyung wanting to stay with us even though he couldn't help us or practice with us.

Each day after that became very difficult for Tao. Many times I saw his once bright eyes become dull because he couldn't get up to practice or participate in our performances. However, Suho-hyung, who seemed to understand Tao's feelings, asked him to take part in some of the performances. And that made Tao feel a bit better.

Then when Chuseok arrived, he chose to return to his hometown to stay. While I had to spend that time with my family… That was the first time we had to be apart when the other person was weak.

'Remember when we rode bicycles up the mountain? It was tiring and my legs ached a lot. But what if we give up and stop cycling forward? We will be pulled back until we finally fall. But right now we're holding your hand. So please don't be discouraged... be patient and don't let go of me.'

That was the only message I sent him during the holidays… I knew I was asking for too much while not caring enough for him. But at that time I just thought

Soon Tao will get better...

But things are not like that… When Tao returned after spending a long holiday with his family in Qingdao, The concert that we and all our fans have been waiting for has begun. Everything is going well. Fans are very fond of the songs from our new album that were picked up and promoted together at concerts.

The role of the dwarf in the red hat that Gray had uploaded above.

Social

His work was discussed a lot. But what was most talked about was changing clothes behind a translucent screen that fans wanted to set on fire.

The response to our return is still as popular as many people predicted. And the fans continue to give us love like we could never really know. What must be done to repay all that love... Everyone's love given to us with pure hearts.

Everything was moving forward so beautifully that for a fraction of a second Some moments of thought I forgot to think about the pain of someone who could only watch us.

Tao is still worried about his injury not getting any better because it might be a problem with his performance.

Comeback Stage

That will take place tomorrow… The gloom in his eyes reminded me that What I've always thought about Soon Tao will recover. Everything isn't like that.

For nearly two months, he had been suffering from pain.

But when everything must still proceed according to the schedule that was set And Tao confirmed that his condition has improved so much that he was able to participate in the filming to promote his new album this time. Everyone could only smile and accept the decision. Even though deep inside all of us are still worried about that swollen ankle.

“Take a break. You've used your body too much.” I don't remember the last time I told him that. But that was because we had to reshoot many times. And Tao seemed to be putting more and more pressure on his own physical condition.

“Just a little more, I can bear it.”

He said that Without paying any attention to the beads of sweat that appeared on his own hairline. So I could only watch him with worried eyes. Because it's time for Tao to be stubborn... He was stubbornly stubborn.

“But you're using your ankles too much.” I held his upper arm.

“Trust me…” He squeezed my hand gently.

“Mr. Sanya…”

“I'm ready!” Tao blurted out and left for his position before I could finish my sentence. So I could only stare at his broad back while my heart was fluttering with worry.

Tao made a mistake!

It was the director who asked us all to take a break. Because he was aware of Tao's illness and noticed it like everyone else. that Tao's body was about to be unable to take it anymore But because of his smile and determination in his eyes Plus the schedule we have to maintain above all else. Our stay ended a few minutes later. And the camera started moving to continue filming again.

But this time, it's not as lucky as last time!

I saw that picture with my own eyes… Tao tried to move his body carefully. and move your ankles as gently as possible Even though that caused his dancing to slow down a bit during some of the songs. But it helped preserve the body and ankles until the end of filming. We received so much applause and cheers that it reverberated throughout the studio, especially Tao… He was greatly admired for holding on until the end.

But when we were stepping off the stage His movements faltered as his sharp eyes filled with tears. But in front of the fans... Tao didn't utter a single word.

It was Kai and I who stepped in to help support the body. But because the fans are watching us. His back was wide so he tried to keep it straight like he always did. But behind the scenes... The sharp face that was out of everyone's sight became serious. A strong hand squeezed the man's upper arm tightly. along with throwing part of his body weight down

“Does it hurt?” I asked softly and he nodded in response.

“Can you stop torturing yourself?”

I put that question aside as I lay my body down on the sofa in our dressing room. Manager Hyung immediately came to check on Tao's condition. And once again, he was taken aside to be examined for an ankle injury. All we could do was hold each other's hands and pray that his condition wouldn't get worse.

I glanced at the bracelet on my wrist. The light from outside reflecting down on the diamond brought my thoughts back to the present… Tao's heart was no different from those diamonds embedded in the Cartier bracelet.

Strong but fragile

Tao has been like that from the beginning until now… Underneath the strong, cold expression, he doesn't care about the world and can seem fierce at times. In fact, behind the shield that you have built yourself is… Tao's heart contained nothing but gentleness and pure love.

The owner of a pair of eyes that everyone said looked scary and scary... but looked at Candy so gently even though he was quite stubborn and mischievous. And those same eyes shed tears when he couldn't bear to hide his gratitude towards his fans.

Isn't this the owner of cold words and an expression that doesn't care about the world? who is gentle with his favorite pets, loves his family, loves his band members and loves the fans the most And have you ever noticed? Those cruel words Tao used to protect the people he loved. He uses himself as a shield to protect himself from the hurtful words that come his way because he doesn't want anyone to hurt the person he loves. He was protective, not even caring if he was hurt.

And I was one of the people he protected.

The room door was knocked softly. before being pushed in with Xiumin hyung's body The little hyung smiled slightly. He sat down on the empty space next to the bed, smiled, and moved his hand to wipe away the tears on his face… And it was then that I realized that I had accidentally cried again.

“I heard a sound…”

Maybe it was because of the gentleness of this little hyung that easily drew my body into his lap. I hugged my small waist. He held it tightly like when he used to beg for it, and that small hand gently stroked the top of my head as before, without once complaining to me.

Minseok hyung's kindness makes me not surprised that Luhan hyung will keep this person by his side.

“Missing Tao?”

The shortcoming of the little hyung that many people often bring up is his lack of talkativeness. But who knows when there will be a chance to speak? This hyung always talks straight. And as an observant person... So everything never leaves my sight. Just because I'm not a curious person, I just quietly observe.

“What's good about Qingdao, hyung?”

“I've been here before... You should know better, right?” Minseokhyung replied with a laugh. His large eyes shone brightly, reflecting the light. “Will it be very cold in China right now?”

“I don't know... but Korea is probably warmer?”

“That's... if it were here it would definitely be warmer.” A smile curled his thin lips. “There is a heater… there is a Sehun.”

“Hyung-ah… can you take Tao back for me?” I made a pleading noise while pressing the tip of my nose against the little hyung's stomach, which had now become wavy.

A small voice laughed. “Have you stopped being angry at Tao for… breaking your promise?”

“If you hurry and apologize, your anger will go away.”

“I heard it... Now hurry up and get well and come back quickly.”

It was then that I noticed that Min Sung Hyung was holding a phone. And he must have been chatting with someone in Qingdao. Because I could hear the voice of the person I missed coming through the phone.

“Say something. Hyung isn't good at talking.”

A small hand held out the phone to me. Video calls that were initially hidden have now been revealed to people recovering in another country. Tao's eyes were still swollen. The tip of his nose was red, like he had cried a lot. It's no different than the tears I'm shedding. Because that was the first time we had seen each other in many days.

"crazy people! Don't you have pictures of the couple on your phone anymore? Why don't you post Happy Birthday! Why must you disappear? Why do you have to be far away? Why do I have to get hurt again? Why don't you know that you're worried? Why didn't I know that I was going crazy?!” I couldn't hold back my sobs at that time. Minseok-hyung only hugged me to comfort me.

“Sehun-ah... I'm sorry I broke my promise.”

“Did you know that when I'm beside you without you... each day isn't fun at all. The world is so wide it's frightening. Looking around, I saw everything I didn't know. Like in the past I never knew or understood anything... besides you

Please come back and follow me for a moment..."

Taokli smiled at me through the video call. But it was as if my heart was nourished after many days of traveling in the desert.

“I understand… Now I really want to hug you.”

“Do you think you're the only one who feels that way?” I replied with a smile. Two hands reached out and grabbed Tao's pillow and hugged it, representing a person who was far away. His body odor still lingered on that pillow, never fading. It's like we're still close. Each other is no different from the past.

Tao's smile brightened a bit. Just waiting for the day he comes back after recovering. Then we will go out and play together again like many others. last time

I like the times when we hold hands the most. Because it means that on the day that someone is weak The other person will be there to encourage those who are discouraged to continue moving forward. And on the day that someone falls Hands linked together will always draw the missed into an open embrace. Soothe and relieve pain. And let's move forward together more firmly than before.

TAOHUN

& FOREVER