“How do you feel?”

“Whatever you think, just say it.”

“Trust yourself.”

Daesung once advised me like that when news broke with a woman that our relationship was beyond normal. This made everyone in the band speculate on me about how things came to be. So I told her I liked it but I hadn't told her yet. But actually, that was the president's marketing plan. I don't really like it one bit.

And when I said that, Daesung offered advice. In fact, Daesung wasn't the only one, there were Jiyong, Taeyang, and Seungri who also said the same thing. But when everything was revealed by the president, they cheered loudly. I thought it was so true that I was advised to take up dramas or movies because of my acting skills.

I sat and reflected on what Daesung had said. How do you feel? What do you think? How do you trust yourself? And if I tell you, will you accept it? I am sure of my own feelings that I love Daesung. Whatever you think, I'm sure. I've been thinking about siblings and Daesung for a long time. But if I do my own thing in a way that I truly believe in, will Daesung believe me? The glass of beer in my hand that we were presenters for was almost gone, but that didn't make me drunk. I'd probably even sleep soundly.

Crack!

I turned to look at the dormitory door that someone had opened and saw that it was Daesung, looking staggering and close to falling asleep. My angel was exhausted. When he looked up from the pile of our untidy shoes, he smiled at me. Smile the way I like, I smile back at him a little.

“Why aren't you asleep yet?” he asked, walking over and sitting next to me. He leaned on the sofa exhausted, so I put down the glass and looked at his face instead.

"I don't sleep well." He nodded slowly before opening his eyes.

“You need to rest a lot. There's a lot of work these days and I have to fly back and forth." He said with a smile that I like. I felt that the smile he sent was more special than the others. It made me feel different. It was special. Intangible but perceptible I nodded up and down at his advice.

“You too.” I wanted to reach out my hand and rub his face like I used to. But since he went to Japan for three years until now, I haven't done it yet. I don't know why I didn't dare to stretch out my hand even though Daesung was sitting right in front of me.

“Are you tired?” I asked after we had been quiet for a while, maybe because he closed his eyes. It made me not dare to speak much, but I didn't want it to be too quiet.

“Not much. It's fun.” I nodded, wanting to do more, but I really didn't dare. Since when did this feeling start? A feeling that is not far away but also not close. This half-hearted feeling made me feel strangely uncomfortable. If you want to do anything, you don't dare to do anything at all. I want to talk to him, touch him.

I want to pull him into a hug. But I didn't have the courage every time to act like something was blocking me until my courage instantly turned into fearlessness. I looked at my hands which made me feel like I was alone even though everyone was still with me. Seungri still annoys me every day. Jiyong also composed a song that was loud enough to penetrate the room and disturb his sleep.

Taeyang always works hard to surprise me with his hairstyle. Daesung still smiles sweetly at me as usual. Everything around me is still the same. So what is this feeling? I don't know if old people are really moody or not, but that's how I am. My vision became blurry and my hand began to shake uncontrollably.

I think sometimes my symptoms started getting serious and I wanted to consult a doctor. From shaking hands, he bit down and didn't make a sound until his face shook. Because I'm afraid Daesung will wake up, but right now I'm about to be unable to bear it. Everything is shaking until I can't control it. Daesung must have been shocked to hear my sobbing and woke up. He looked at me shocked to see me crying. I lowered my head into my hands so he wouldn't see.

“What is the matter, Top? Who did what?” I didn't answer and kept my head down like that.

“Don't cry. Please tell me, why are you crying?” Daesung held me up and lifted my head. My face must have looked weird because I was trying to smile at him, but sobs could be heard escaping. Daesung pulled me up from the sofa. I didn't know where he was taking me, but I trusted him so I followed him even though I was in this situation. He smiled gently and led me to stop in the middle of the living room.

"Are you stressed? Are you sick? Are you hurt anywhere?" I shook my head. I couldn't explain to him what was wrong with me. Daesung held my hand, interlocking my fingers on one side before holding my hand. The other hand was placed on his waist and his hand moved to rest on my shoulder, which was still sobbing. He didn't say anything, but he smiled.

He started singing some kind of international song that I can't remember the name of. He started to lead me to move slowly, taking me to move with him. His sweet voice continued to cry for a while until my condition began to calm down to the point where I could stand still and not tremble. "Do you want me to hug you?" I didn't answer, but I rushed over and hugged him tightly. I miss you, I miss you so much. Jung, this person, his scent was still the same as I had known before. His little hand gently stroked my back to relax me. I really didn't want to leave this warm hug.

“Is it better?” Daesung asked me after a moment of silence. I nodded up and down and pulled away to see him smiling at me. Smile in a way that makes me feel special.

“Thank you.” My mouth says that, but my heart says something else. I want to say that I miss you.

"Yes, I think you should go to bed, okay?"

“Oh.” I nodded again. Daesung smiled and turned to walk away.

How do you feel?

Say whatever you think.

Trust yourself.

“I miss you, Daesung.” This is the most appropriate word. No matter what I do, I always have him running around in my head. Both when he is present and when he is not present, even though my life goes according to the same loop, having him join in doing things with me is very different from when he is not present. Thinking about this is the best definition.

I miss him.

I miss his smile.

Thinking about the time together

I miss his touch.

I spoke out even though it wasn't loud, but this space would probably be too quiet for him to hear me bow my head. Everything around me was quiet. It was so quiet that it was frightening. Did he walk into the room or not? I'm not sure if he walked towards me or not, I don't know. Everything seemed to stop. But my heart is starting to become restless. How will he feel?

Ugh!

I stumbled back because Daesung rushed up and hugged me hard. I picked him up even though I was a little stumped, but the happiness was so much greater that I was able to overlook that.

"I thought you wouldn't tell me," I smiled. Has anyone ever told you that you're cute?

“Do you miss me?” He shook his head a little, which surprised me.

"That's me."

"Oh, why are you suddenly blaming me?"

“I missed you so why didn't you go look for me?” Daesung's voice was so muffled that I could hardly hear him. I let out a laugh. It seemed like he was seriously annoyed at me.

"Don't you know that I'm waiting?" When I saw this sentence, I was completely silent. Even though our attitude had been vague for a long time, I had never once seriously asked him or done anything to make it clear. Because I'm afraid that our feelings won't match. Afraid of losing him

“Are you still waiting now?” After finishing my question, everything went into quiet mode again. I want to get inside his head, I want to know exactly what he's thinking. Actually, we're both vague about each other.

“How do you feel? Whatever you think, say it. Trust yourself.” I took his sentence back and received the strength of Daesung's small but heavy fist in the middle of my back.

“Imitate”

“Answer me, please. Are you still waiting for Top?” I asked, rocking the two of us back and forth before hugging him tighter. Is it a good idea for me to go with him?

“I'm just waiting for you. When will it be clear? I've been waiting for a long time.” Finishing his words, I smiled before pulling away and staring at his face, who kept looking away.

“Stop waiting.” Daesung bit his lower lip tightly when I finished speaking. He nodded slowly up and down and started walking backwards until I had to hold him back. He didn't seem to understand the meaning of my word stop.

"Uh, I'm sleepy."

"I'm not finished talking yet."

“I understand.”

“Sure.” He shook his head and sent a green glare in my direction. Why isn't he this cute?

“I'm going to sleep.”

“Answer another question.” Teasing him is fun. You can see many emotions on his face. It's one of my hobbies.

“Come on,” he asked and then he looked away, so I grabbed his chin to make him look at me instead. I looked at his eyes, which had a look of confusion on them. I smiled before speaking.

“Let's be lovers.” I stared into his eyes, which began to peel and exchange sweet faces. I started to color my hair and tried to move in, but he backed away.

"I still don't agree," he said with his mouth like a child who was offended, you know? Very cute.

"I know Dae will agree."

“Narcissistic”

“Is it true?” He bit his lip again. Can I pull him in for a kiss? Really persistent

“Oh!” I smiled widely at Daesung, who hid his face away from me. I bent down to kiss him, but Daesung immediately rolled away from me and ran into the room.

“Yah, you troublemaker,” I shouted after him.

“I'll come and kiss you tomorrow,” I said, then put my finger to my mouth before sticking it on his bedroom door and walking into my own room to get some sleep.

“Daesung-ah, is your new hairstyle cute?”

“Haha.” Daesung, who didn't know what to answer, just smiled dryly and handed it to his brother.

"Come on, I'm really stressed out," he said, his face crumpled.

“If it were someone else doing it, it wouldn't look dull. But this is me, so it looks good. Shows good brotherhood.”

“It's like saying that if you don't mop the floor,” said Seungri, who came to sit at the dining table and made a mocking face. Daesung squeezed Taeyang's hand gently.

“Say it nicely or there won't be anyone to feed you,” Daesung said with a smile that made Seungri choke.

"Oh, no kidding, don't be mean." Whoever said that the older guys couldn't do anything to the naughty maknae, at least Daesung was the one who could handle it. Daesung rubbed Seungri's head, which was nagging at his shoulder.

"Believe me, it looks good, but if it were Seungri who did it, I'd tell him to cut it, haha."

"Oh, you're clearly biased," Seungri said not too seriously. He and Taeyang hyung are still close enough, but don't let TOP hyung come. He will instantly become a rotten dog. Taeyang ignores Seungri who acts crazy early in the morning and immediately heads down to eat breakfast.

“Is there something to eat?” Jiyong, who had just walked in, teased Seungri, got out of the chair and begged his younger brother.

“Daesung-ah, please feed me.” Taeyang and Seungri were so annoyed that they wanted to take the red-headed guy out of the room and throw him out of the room.

“If you have your hands, eat it yourself.” They all turned to look at the newcomer standing in front of the kitchen with his face wrinkled. “Get up, I'll sit.”

"What are you doing? I'm sitting here."

"Why not? I'll sit with my girlfriend."

“Haha!!!” Taeyang was chewing his rice and his rice almost shot up. Jiyong gasped until the insects flew to make nests. Seungri, who knew, shrugged and walked over to sit next to Taeyang. Daesung's face was undoubtedly red.

“When?” Taeyang asked first.

"last night"

“It's not true.” Jiyong lost his mind before Seungri helped shake him to his senses. “Really?” He didn't bother turning to ask Daesung, who was smiling shyly. Oh, who let this monkey come and take him away?

“Ha ha ha”

“Oh no!” Jiyong shouted and entered the room. Everyone looked at him in shock.

“Uh, I'll go check on Ji first,” Daesung said and was about to get up to leave but Top stopped him. What kind of matter would you like Daesung to find in his room?

“Let it go,” Taeyang confirmed because he knew Jiyong well. “It will go away soon.”

“I'll go look for myself.” Seungri didn't listen to anyone and immediately walked towards Jiyong's room.

“What a disaster,” Top and Taeyang said in unison before the rest started eating with Top serving Daesung well. Taeyang looked at him and smiled as it finally became clear. A loud bang came from Jiyong's room. From time to time, it's probably not safe to help clean up the remains of any one person. But it made them feel good. It's safe to say that he misses the atmosphere. and touch like this The kind that is called warmth.